《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。  {# @% @" g  L1 @/ K+ \
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& M4 E& J5 M) t* U8 C1 G1 M3 k& b影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
3 i& H6 q2 [  v# w3 I5 v$ GWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）8 f1 d% [) E8 X# O- C* F
Holmes: I just picked it up.
! M, e8 B- Z4 aWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
1 r4 N" ?% x# S4 {; rHolmes: Knew I forgot something.8 c: p/ W/ G% |  S
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）4 b8 E- t% c/ E) ?5 b! y. d
Holmes: You did.5 |7 M; ~/ k* T: `
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）/ v5 t, P& o$ g, @( u3 A- v
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。2 j7 O! Y& ?' o( G8 }7 ?) T  j1 `0 S
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
* h6 \& Q& t0 p# nHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。8 ]' S- g2 \* [  c2 p2 @2 k
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。& z' F' u$ S" T) W
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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2 ]" `6 G5 f$ X# v& ~2 JHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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* l; p" Z: x+ D7 [7 m( jBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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) W) f* h# y' HIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
7 ~# h6 T; R' \1 F" R: B（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
+ i% N! @7 B3 _1 l8 A9 i& \) Z% ?Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
& @7 n) M' J9 E( Q& m$ z% aHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）8 A! a2 o) z8 @3 K1 b1 b
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.- ]9 w; n& \9 n, `9 V* G) `
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。) Y5 N( h" u" G( l6 a1 \8 {
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
% g" `0 H, w$ P3 t% KWatson: Get that out of my face.
) ~$ Y- o& B* L  v( d8 ^7 T1 JHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
7 W8 `3 Z! X- NWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.; J3 s1 ^" {" v
路人警官Clarky上场。5 u$ R$ A6 P) N: ~, |2 G
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.; \' o/ C- T+ y) E' b3 b
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）; L0 D( f! \3 P/ C/ ^' i) Z$ Z
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。; ?% _  Y% Y9 y; b0 u9 P: q
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?5 o5 K' W. q; c7 t
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.# U$ G( p: X! Z( y
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  O8 d- e2 ^( ~5 u( N: @. U3 O墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
) ]. k, i7 B, F2 I/ F! Z( L（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
: t) B7 [" H: m8 |Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
7 y) @9 i: r/ c7 q& H. j+ y( uWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
- P* W- e4 G4 {4 |" g7 rHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
+ s) X! ?! [6 WBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…( z& `/ |2 t  c$ p$ @- `
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）/ }' X/ ]4 k, P7 ?
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
1 k! _  B* _2 u8 IHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
6 q# N! v! I$ i+ m2 G  i后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
. k7 `; y+ @6 Q6 c- h% d  FHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）# {* P; D# v# f+ L; a
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。. ~6 F" e( Z+ v8 O" x
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。: M1 P- I* [$ D7 z
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
  z$ q) C7 S) G& e# C3 @Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）0 i( l, ]! @0 y; i8 Z2 B
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
+ c/ ~- f6 T$ x& T/ M& c  g8 SHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
* N2 C( j' ?0 \! `- l3 K% rMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
3 T) N5 Z1 S' J1 bWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
. ^' ?/ W8 {. x8 e$ |Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）  a  e. q$ ^  C7 Z) t* _$ p7 K
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
8 y7 }3 d; B, Z( n! EHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
/ U1 s/ M' c) k/ p# A4 jWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
  a( u* R# M: A# t( @: ^. VMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
6 C5 D+ m( A3 w  `2 g（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）" S0 \1 Z$ Q; [. s" `" Z' h
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: A; Y2 W" K. l  F9 J) ?3 P总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……