《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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8 I. j  R* ^& f影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。' q6 u6 c! k) l8 f
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）7 r2 n, S2 A0 C$ \. j
Holmes: I just picked it up.1 s9 x8 \& x( |' `
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）: _3 ]; h  b! o4 h
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
6 V5 _+ H) b  T) ]/ I7 r+ GWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
  l' u' K% T2 I  THolmes: You did.
$ |$ _2 n7 I; m（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）4 ^, @* {% C/ T- @( }1 N3 \* h+ F: D
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。/ b0 [; }0 G, l( x0 F4 N
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.) H% v4 q  W' g0 n
Holmes: Granted.
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) A8 |& F( {" h) H晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。0 l; V  x% J! |3 w  c
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）; u7 y% K0 I4 D( a/ @1 V% `: J, g
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& F& `2 B& [6 e# u. f7 i. z拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
$ t# m. T( _; x' A1 aWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）& c6 D' W7 b5 I% V& a2 a
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。6 o, {# S3 E1 F+ q1 v$ v
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( x- o1 [& p  l, ?Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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) o: H1 f3 j) \  m/ |2 K' KIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
1 F1 ^* R; M$ ]# `2 t; I' CHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）) M* U! L' d8 }' p6 i
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.0 A3 C* u" X1 d, ~
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, K( A- n5 U3 }0 n. IIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。8 B/ p  A6 P$ L# }* \* d; M+ F
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
" a% d6 U5 l1 R7 \; t5 r& `Watson: Get that out of my face.2 t7 t+ m' ^: n  F! Z- G7 m
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
) i9 b0 }/ [8 x# }6 `Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
" b! ^6 T, J. S7 p' _( ~7 l+ n$ j5 {路人警官Clarky上场。4 ?2 r6 y; z6 Z. y& S7 B) W) c0 n
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
6 Z) h; C5 w; x# u0 x2 sHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
; M+ u+ ]6 S" Z4 q1 Z$ p得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
9 O/ l( @7 P0 |! c0 hWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
, w$ ?9 S  F( G% D; AHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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5 Z  O9 b/ C2 d  j8 M墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。; i& s/ U4 I$ S* V) P( z
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
% s6 n+ J, W) k2 a0 I: _& D4 v! BHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.$ n! B0 n( U% Y  c* w9 q+ e
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）6 F$ s- `9 _6 X3 E$ ~) Y
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
. m* n( c, K8 U; N; W/ ^Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
/ F# \& g+ z" Y! H' q% F8 sBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…2 M# r# ?, y3 s2 W
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）2 V: e* {. {4 X1 f
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。# H$ F0 R) w& P1 Q! P8 S0 A& x
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
" e0 z8 Q& {8 z% L* f后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
8 s2 h( J" Q" u# t; {/ j3 yHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
! |9 Y) m' p4 `/ iLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。3 [* I5 \4 N4 ~
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
% M- L- P, k( c/ D3 U: v0 |# CHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）+ W# K  |/ k& n$ j4 J3 P1 q
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）# s% {( _- N& Z8 ?8 @2 h3 j  W
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
3 }8 E9 r6 r6 }% T/ Z% s4 eMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
; Q) s8 S3 F* `- YWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）+ M( w: o) G- o  P
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
% n( w& o* ^$ g( [6 UWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）/ d, p0 D$ @! p2 D4 u
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
! o. n) g7 S9 w& S2 k8 Q2 b! c! WWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）6 \, E# V( \. T
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）: j3 S* C, e/ J" c% q; [+ D# \1 O2 Z$ E
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……