《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。3 m" J1 Y/ W, I2 Q' l! |
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
! q8 a6 s$ K# m& J! EWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）5 R) R  M2 s  z2 Z! g
Holmes: I just picked it up.  ~# J4 t1 Y& y
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
4 Y! \6 H! a- G9 i; EHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
. h* }6 ^. j2 b7 z0 [Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
9 {2 O1 q8 O# UHolmes: You did.' _/ w! G4 s- M7 M$ S& C; y7 Q5 V
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）9 A* e: k2 [' R! F
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.7 Q# B3 W( U- I: U5 O& }
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/ S8 ]: ^: E# G宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。9 C$ T! i, M7 B. @
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
5 u/ p$ O* k" G  }Holmes: Granted.3 K" p. k2 u9 v/ d
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
' w/ A9 T% e2 i- E. Z% u' F, PWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）" m' Y, L! p4 M& u' t! T4 c
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。8 f) ^$ i  [3 s- {0 ]6 v/ u2 C0 b
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% N* N, t8 ^8 A( k2 |9 o' B) FWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。! M: f9 m9 z1 q4 s- P' K
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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: m8 A0 ]- a( i6 \- b: f- t8 vHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。5 O' H1 Q1 r: q/ |6 D: s! q
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
" E* L8 d1 e: q0 ~1 ~8 [（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）. q$ d2 J" d2 O0 J, a
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
- Z* v. u7 z$ A1 v/ pHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
2 i4 C) ?2 o& `  B3 L1 jIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.# v( ?! E3 A7 W$ A0 N% C+ h
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: \, a/ G' ]3 B6 Z7 A" mIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
: T( E) K3 d- J9 Y7 D* I2 tHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
6 n* X9 p/ O3 `3 S& f* cWatson: Get that out of my face.$ S" I3 s8 t1 q: t8 p$ G
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
1 @  S3 O+ E) Y* [0 G( _Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
8 g1 W5 _9 o9 l9 K3 x# {- p路人警官Clarky上场。
  ]6 A- V, k5 _4 rClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
4 v& X+ `. A' \  lHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）; b( F8 M  i) e' o  b
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
0 [: n; c, v. ^; B3 y0 xWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?* G; M6 |7 c: [5 E8 M9 f$ W
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.4 @& R# s9 U4 V0 s
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( y. N% ]! w1 z% o/ c: b墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。$ [8 d$ U3 @# r
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）% {( g' G- y: q) i
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
; D& ?; f1 s* J4 B3 RWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）2 k. X- S7 Y, }8 q
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# C, x9 q7 h0 V河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。6 `- W  f; n) T1 n6 [7 o! A
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）  D8 q) r+ G0 [8 L6 L' O5 o3 V
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…7 E9 Z/ {) S! X$ O% ]$ {) |: J- Z
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
  b- C9 z$ S) q* F死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
1 m! k% h1 T" p# A  N/ ~1 ]Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
$ T- p+ T! W2 g+ I9 W/ B( r后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。5 I  u8 Z" ?2 q" {0 l+ D! f
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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) q8 a; L7 ]) v0 h0 ?: P0 b# y警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。; e: ?2 @: f+ t( J* e9 H: D1 B# m
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.# [5 ^2 H; H2 I8 S
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6 t7 s% R2 u: H/ |接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
7 X9 o( A9 g( x话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
: \3 T" k! w( }Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
( o! E7 z& V8 n# y8 S/ d1 BWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
8 q; x1 L5 c6 t9 f- d3 D& K: {Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）; ?. ?& X, }9 S. @: J
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?1 q6 X; ?8 w0 f  p/ _/ e+ E7 Q
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）: c" O5 k- o1 x
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
2 c& w( [  Y# ?' M4 |Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
/ p) v. O% e# a# s/ bHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
1 t/ @. a1 }* U4 {% d1 V' y  Z/ EWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
% }/ Z- k. v: M5 j+ DMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
) ]1 t0 \( I/ v8 N7 Q* l/ g8 x（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）: i, X: o* d& T+ W0 F* D( O# o, l
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- V5 V% n/ s4 r) R) V# R% C; D总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……