《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。5 F' ?. S5 G" M
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）& V4 U- k' M! h- X( a2 `" a$ O: j
Holmes: I just picked it up.& {! Y8 m* }5 I2 n+ o! k7 j7 D: G, h
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
& W) P9 o$ s  C$ {# `Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
' K0 {8 _: l* Y( NWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
) O: U0 ]+ T% Z* h$ |: a$ oHolmes: You did.4 Q* \3 J: \  Y9 X4 e4 t( ]% G- V/ @
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）- e+ a( D4 D# k+ C2 }  R  L
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.) s5 B& [8 T. L5 p
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
( }0 \" W5 b3 y$ x5 pWatson: Permission to enter the armory.  \0 J7 l' R: Q
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
, x( N$ A9 T; X" ~7 H( y7 W) hWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）4 |7 E1 `& E- z$ N8 v& y5 I
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。1 j7 e7 _, Q, H2 Q( s; n
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" U9 O8 H* O  A/ d/ \Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
3 _# m1 v2 [" C; G# j. M4 ^Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。, c6 T4 Z9 e7 ?: @- ?1 ?! @
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。$ _( I( Z! \: N" K. `
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。  D; K$ f' ~1 ~3 y
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
3 e7 N1 R, X2 lIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
. P) s; H7 @( |  F% F+ h9 ~Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
. {# N+ W. Z5 y- R6 B, {0 _Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.% |$ K- C- f1 t
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4 B- T$ K& ]7 F* k3 V0 `3 y: MIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
$ Q3 ~" E- U( q( mHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）' z6 [" c9 ^! ^) J6 f' o' G% h
Watson: Get that out of my face.' f  s& A. l2 `# w0 x6 D
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.$ ^% ?' P8 V: }
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
, B) X9 ^1 E5 [路人警官Clarky上场。
; R$ @, \* Y0 l: i, m2 kClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.6 |2 _0 R: O. B6 U; Y: c2 g
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
4 Z; W/ R- ?# j, E得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。9 |4 G/ h! d6 `9 s8 v4 y" |
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
- D. X7 [) T. r" C4 e* QHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.: t+ k' A2 X9 r( l" q* a7 v  O; [- B' v
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. m( x2 {& |8 o- O3 O. H# T" J" d# V! N墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。) I& n9 a" K' J+ \1 a
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
& s* \" {7 P! a; _! v- DHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.+ i# j+ D$ v$ H' W' b3 m9 F; ~
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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) A* `2 s; o8 P河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。+ B, O2 I5 o' G- G1 I4 W* N, ]9 r
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
' W/ y8 E9 M. V; i+ [7 v- _% v; yBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
% `( G  h. o* x5 g, w+ b; kWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
& f2 a) l- H$ Q& ~死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
4 I: f' R$ R) o+ ]. \Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
# w7 Y+ z0 v9 h后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
0 t( ^1 x* V6 ?. J& k; b3 HHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。2 k, ]% y8 K- A, c( g
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
3 E3 @, Q) o/ L- N; q! W3 q话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。/ K' Q8 I2 L! D, e
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）: a5 l; Y2 z, _8 ?
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）" r- z9 Z) v9 A9 z- z
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）( R2 [, ]3 l5 B# Y9 F: f& p
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
3 t6 C3 S0 T1 B/ O3 K0 uWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）& y! [- L; ^$ F. F. C9 }9 ?4 F
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）/ j, o- g* ^  g
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
% p8 b3 J/ K" O+ fHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）4 r- h, }7 D2 F% ^6 [4 ~% D
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
% L* M" t1 E6 N& h! WMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
2 @6 H' Z) k3 I4 F7 o（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）3 k$ w& x: X( C8 i. R+ ^" n
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……