《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。9 _+ {0 D4 g& L, E8 B3 [
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9 f; k% s8 u: j: ~; c% L4 Y影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
! v" z& V7 S& T0 w- Y/ T* ]& C0 o4 CWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）; t: S8 e/ a% T. g/ t8 M8 k& C* @5 ~
Holmes: I just picked it up.
0 Q) `& g' A8 Y  [/ Z5 ^% U) fWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）, g8 L# h% d0 \- ?, H1 l) o
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.: [8 {; g$ @% Y8 o( N* F, J* }  G
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）- F  N4 X" z) ?9 y9 P% ?9 W+ P
Holmes: You did.
4 Q2 B1 D0 `: Z6 |（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）- j6 f4 e; X* E8 h% K3 Y" r
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all., a+ N8 j8 T# W$ Z
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
5 R5 B0 Z8 z$ e  s7 ZWatson: Permission to enter the armory.2 |! e  H0 v  m8 w
Holmes: Granted.. H1 _1 g  I+ S4 g
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1 y% d& y* I6 j! h% \* m晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。( N" L& V6 S$ N2 ~
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）" c' [% [5 A5 u% a, L* R4 u& _4 G
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。* r2 i) z8 v9 |) g( ~
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
! [6 e0 m$ F) {! vWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）6 [/ ~: V9 _- p3 o6 O3 d# q; d
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。- \5 u; Y; Q% @
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。& q- |" @) @0 v: c% E, X! M
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。& ?5 u) b# g: n
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）& I& h6 R( d2 A: l% a
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?! m  @2 N- Z" s9 [2 W
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
( n' d5 Q" M: a. cIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope., @3 n* }) m( G  a* ?1 v5 p
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。0 P. k5 U5 q- q; Y( A
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）; B0 k' q' M0 p# t+ [
Watson: Get that out of my face.
; y* r3 {  |4 z0 ^Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
* a; k- o: K* I& LWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.4 c& h; d0 V8 ~. d/ g! G
路人警官Clarky上场。$ r: i: T; k( @( A' |
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
+ F3 n. i9 S! C; d; X8 q5 eHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）4 v2 y) T2 x. h
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。- e  B7 F) N. g! O+ C, V1 |
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?! p3 r4 I8 g" i& u7 `7 m) ]% d
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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' {3 T7 n( s, [. m. N墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
4 K1 @+ c* }+ n$ `  P（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
6 j: a  D+ @2 n; _) h- qHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
( Y: M; p; _& _8 t" ^  U5 @Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）+ b5 q) o# q0 Y7 W7 k8 L
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4 c# u# B& `$ K5 O7 l. G河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
  e* i2 r* D, X& NHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
& f6 R# w- R4 l' f. LBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…7 a, b5 J9 i9 L3 v$ J$ a+ ^
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
2 H  g/ H/ X3 L- Q- e+ V' q) [死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。) g. S; H9 Y: t8 V& a: P
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）& a  C5 G+ t; C2 u' q3 a
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
; _; a! `- @  c2 p' [5 SHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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0 V2 r+ _$ j3 a9 o' Q8 C  K警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。9 T, u: x+ E2 H
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。  H. r( n, T2 N8 d
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
6 z: s' g& |0 n0 |- A& n8 `0 sHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
. F0 V/ _! q" `# j& D" [: f& U8 HWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）  `4 t& t! s# m$ J3 P
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）2 R2 _0 d  L% A+ U
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?/ E6 k* a8 p" D& M
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
: ^8 b" F2 _/ E+ |! t* S' U9 SHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）* A# z& M' S! [4 L9 o( z
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
3 w' f; r( M$ ~0 o5 ^Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
9 }( u1 ]$ V: _7 p' TWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
: D9 j9 q9 \1 G" l4 Y+ rMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
) A6 h1 E# W' u) L7 s5 ^* V（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）" d  [2 c# H( u) [7 E! T& b
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……