《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
& o4 n- Y: S9 L8 V7 T8 l8 EWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）0 y) U/ |  Q) L* i  m
Holmes: I just picked it up.
! D" \& C( q5 q3 D3 m+ pWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）5 m/ @3 h: e" \
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
9 z6 t/ \6 u+ r+ D1 h' D" v! XWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
1 z# @9 G0 H! p( a1 ?) bHolmes: You did.! H. y) G/ @0 j9 P5 w
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）$ e7 ~( Y0 [- V: m+ {
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.: A, `9 V7 M5 Z" F
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
/ f3 P* S. t  _3 {. M! |Watson: Permission to enter the armory.) z1 p3 v" k/ A2 r$ r! o
Holmes: Granted.- l( }; ?) E8 I) U9 X* D; I* m" X9 `
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。5 G9 e0 A6 F1 M( G3 `9 x
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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$ e/ L& E8 x, |( B5 G: U拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
2 K7 F  C0 z5 U9 q* QWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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$ C8 X% k* i7 ^) JHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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8 j3 K) y5 X& q) W( JIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。& Z1 P6 ~9 J3 q% _9 N
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
: H( e$ O" Z; ^% I: q% rIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?6 a; x7 z* Z  g
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
1 N3 Y, I# j: E& d5 ~Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.1 F$ D8 r8 e9 }2 K$ ~: `
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
$ w4 K* r0 o% a2 f% j3 S% N4 NHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）  Y$ Q% L2 |) T7 U! J. K7 p6 L/ _
Watson: Get that out of my face.
) |- U7 S; W3 G: l( H% M' |Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
1 _$ |5 i& r; z5 bWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
* D7 j2 X1 e; K* S5 C路人警官Clarky上场。3 f5 V- F5 P- {! D
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
. o* F2 `2 u7 b0 x0 W" G' s3 W. E0 zHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）7 s! Q7 x. I3 ]6 V' E1 |3 s; U
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
' F) x% y' F3 J/ `. K* cWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
7 W  m) l% U" P7 a4 C$ J# WHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.% ?0 L( }3 U6 U$ d3 z
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。4 {9 Z8 y3 y9 P$ v5 M3 w
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）% p; ~2 I& }7 g9 G
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.6 ]; o/ a/ Z# o) ?
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）) \( r# _3 b# \$ H, X0 ?1 E
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
0 r& B$ H6 n) rHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
. @( J( P: K" _Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…& @7 ~2 @" S$ F2 E( Z. \6 N
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）9 q9 l; x! ^2 q: ?1 N
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。5 o+ x# h  [6 H# K/ T
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）- r, U; D" `& U. g' M$ B
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
4 }% f" v1 P$ h$ ]6 V  vHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）) S/ ~) N% F/ e
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。& m3 Q3 z& U7 B; n( V3 u
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。! G: M7 a  e1 k
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。) A- U% p5 {7 L! V0 U! E- B
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
# ~) p3 V9 o2 ]; D$ e- G+ O% GWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
' ]% I; a9 D- \Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
8 X/ q8 {* z& U' g/ TMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?9 D" Z4 w2 [" k+ X$ L
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）6 B5 M) @) T8 {. ?) o5 \
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）6 \6 X6 ?- h6 M0 v5 a3 {* Z, `
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）/ M' o7 k! F7 w7 c5 W! G
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
( C% f! ]- ^( p* W5 k& hWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）5 b2 H" X( F/ {( u* w3 _' S: K
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
8 @% L# u% |! r6 d6 O（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……