《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。4 `0 l6 `& i3 |. [8 t
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）! f: P: O  |$ A; p  b4 z
Holmes: I just picked it up.
% l8 \& [# P, VWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）- H% M9 N! E$ z* n
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
. A6 X% d; ~. y8 {. g$ i( b5 dWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）+ {' Y. ~2 X$ R& |
Holmes: You did.
( C- L& N! j) t( y（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）5 v3 R) T* C0 r4 E0 U9 D* t
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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. t; f( n. n0 w9 h宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。* h% F' b4 R$ W: T! U6 A# T
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.# B+ Z9 Z4 u4 Q0 X# f# Y  q9 Z
Holmes: Granted.8 X3 j3 }- h$ P4 z0 p- G. i
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。7 {. O( o" B) {; n
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。  _" K+ d) d% F2 S/ j
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' n! H. R( {- D6 K8 j& P. _Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。/ \7 w- S) S; z: X3 B3 O3 n6 Q
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。7 j1 M4 _  I& D, T, ]$ I* t( K* A
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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- p4 {2 I! p# \1 lIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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9 Q" u* ^, m9 JIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
) ]9 i, I% o$ `$ SHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）  T, j  L6 L! x2 h8 h7 `$ V) E7 F
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.) E2 \5 R' b9 s& ]% Q! F
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! c7 [6 b/ {* w! }- e- F2 mIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
, E: T4 |3 {/ \' q: _0 IHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）7 {+ l9 C6 F8 t: {" |
Watson: Get that out of my face.' ]- F! U8 Y3 u. i
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
3 L" e" q+ C  ^Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.! _- V( r, ?8 y# N+ H
路人警官Clarky上场。2 \2 U: H; e3 Y9 d4 g
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
# I6 }7 R3 |3 U- H& I9 L9 aHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
/ T  M3 u% _( @+ N$ m/ V. j得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。! J% K2 q2 O0 s2 z4 t
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
6 l4 v9 [5 F  c0 B& ~3 ?! ^Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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1 Q1 C6 B# e- I& E9 L& W% N/ p墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。- D! s) l. i( [" x; x. {8 Z# X" `
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
! f, F0 ?8 f4 p& t$ qHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.9 u5 Q; \( }! k3 i, @
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）8 {% B8 d7 L4 {/ Q
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。1 t% d) J8 }3 a9 k( A% I" G; V
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
1 P$ a3 D& a: D6 z! Z6 L- n; @0 G' ^Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…3 n% j6 }: z+ a! V
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）+ e' n/ [+ v& Q$ Z; v  O
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。) B2 }, I9 K* N0 w* D" J
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）' s( D, R  A5 K4 j( m
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。, o, `* f2 Y* M  J8 q
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）3 D9 i: |$ z! Q2 k5 R
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
$ w! u/ U4 D# o6 oLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
3 D3 W$ A  [; f% s6 s5 y, d2 j话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
5 l& e4 Q, x5 t1 ~6 K2 E, h9 FHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）+ b! g4 ?- G  `8 O) w) @
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）9 O0 z5 F, ?6 ]/ }4 j
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
- k0 V! _6 n8 i3 O, S' j2 Y. FMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
2 ?2 d5 n9 N, u: w" s: AWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）/ _  I' \, u: {: g" ~, y
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
3 w& ?7 o8 t7 s+ ?" c" yWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
' h2 z1 m. C3 H5 X4 R+ \+ ^& l* ~Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
( i- `  P; F% YWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）6 E2 h5 D; q' i; @* Q
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
- d( H$ K4 M9 _$ @（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）9 e/ n, o( r1 R0 L
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……