《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。. G8 M3 _& r0 D2 `
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
% m# i. W9 u) S" g, |2 {Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
; w9 |) K' `$ s7 OHolmes: I just picked it up.
; n; V% F( [4 k' e3 N! DWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）. o5 b; u* p$ `
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
9 P, D# U2 E, a/ S7 PWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
5 i/ L4 l5 E% w! {Holmes: You did.2 o* R- u* b7 q) r! j
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）0 k, g9 P. l( P9 P; C
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.3 v; M; Q5 ]. @/ Y7 N
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5 C% ?$ R2 V. P" C" D宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。0 R$ c9 n9 {0 y* R& Y0 D9 r
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
9 ^  h! A( A% _( p; zHolmes: Granted.
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/ U$ @/ w' V" r% F6 R晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。, ~8 `# ~/ S7 D2 X, J
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）( o; o2 p% f6 k$ Y
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1 l/ M' X  r' u$ N$ `/ t, m拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。  t$ v* O; S, u  [
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）( p6 Y. D# k$ m9 h
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。3 M! }. h3 c" r4 l1 P" J8 S1 R  ?
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。6 I2 c: k. Z; a0 F. C" c4 y+ X
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。' x6 G, w; R4 B5 D' `& C
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
3 }8 W4 x1 m: ~6 R1 N1 Z9 hIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
  _3 L& f, x( P1 o/ LHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）! Y+ O6 K* i1 k) M: o8 A
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope." ?# ~7 |& k# B) j( K( `. _/ s
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$ m/ g# Z+ n/ c/ c; ZIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。7 ^7 b/ S! n7 X
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）8 W: I0 c% b0 E: M& Y
Watson: Get that out of my face.
8 Y) z5 ?  k1 ?0 x$ AHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.4 [7 U: o5 ?  G
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.1 j. f" y; A) d5 d& k
路人警官Clarky上场。
2 R8 {8 ^( X$ ^1 Q$ r/ I7 }* aClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.5 l) B, e, h- `2 U5 X4 @
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
- @( N+ I. U6 e4 E得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。7 ]$ d4 ~: t) |/ @, z& q8 S( A
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?* t( g& k% p$ D. @6 h
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.0 G+ S; Q7 O+ g8 l, e" z, K5 H
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
/ Q$ {$ s1 J3 b（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
. e' r$ D0 [0 ~9 M2 u, a8 \( xHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
, M3 u. H/ n( B' IWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。- n+ f# y$ a) v% w
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）. |- _) m  V4 w4 ^! _0 o: f5 q, B
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
" \5 }- Y4 C$ Z4 I" N9 WWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）! h+ X: ]$ K# X- s8 Q, L
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
% X3 n& A- a9 CHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）& ~/ k7 i) f; g; R2 e/ E
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。8 d0 q0 E3 s% T9 n1 o/ c' ^
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）' L9 `. n5 ^4 X- h4 _9 b
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& [5 t8 v& o9 d- z警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
; O6 g. Y0 J8 PLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.) K$ k' m2 K7 d9 w1 e2 |: f
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) g( G5 O; A5 C& d接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
7 |1 t9 |3 x% D; Z) V: k话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
! k5 c) ]; I4 j9 @  cHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）  ]* @, ]& X. j! g" e1 A
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）8 `# N7 X. C/ z8 B: d
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）+ w0 _9 `6 [$ `  ^4 g
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?! }. U' X5 k! c& H0 ]- W
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）, r5 }1 u$ J' c1 F
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
7 n7 ]" N* r! n" CWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
- K% j6 P) m$ G6 q! HHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
, h+ r& `! Y, k% B2 hWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
1 H. {- Y- E0 oMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
4 o, u  E0 C8 w% i' f（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）" D2 D7 S( p  \$ V7 |2 M9 j+ q" k
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……