 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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% F, _' R, f( @影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 ; p7 F3 e0 X4 ?, H
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
- {7 [# B8 F' k0 N8 v f3 rHolmes: I just picked it up.
: c. u8 m$ ^( nWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) , h8 P N& I! M3 b ?! N
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
' v3 a& j# y' Q1 C9 fWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) " V7 g' q/ r+ \8 y0 N9 t
Holmes: You did.2 }$ Z' I/ k5 h0 c1 R/ S! x
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
1 D& S' a- l) j9 ?! O3 iHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.: }$ G5 ]. z. `' G2 W# `9 I
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 t4 o2 s8 n5 P ]; e6 Z" N
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
( y( q4 o3 K B- j1 U$ D$ h& |Holmes: Granted.! K$ N# j5 U6 U, t6 ?
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& S0 F! E3 V& r( L' E晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
+ J9 x8 j4 ]% IWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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0 L% r0 i: n; [% ^% u拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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; W& u+ i6 u: o8 l& w9 P. ?' I- t2 G7 nWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 8 m# i& l1 }' B+ f( K; |
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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* j$ M- _2 }" P' hHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 1 I f+ P7 h9 M# w
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. ~- O2 S- u0 A! e3 kBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
, d) y, i4 b9 ~( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
' Z3 a) H% X* a2 B$ R. s8 DIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?, [! w0 V6 b1 Z2 q
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
f. q) k+ A+ ]. S$ b4 OIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.1 e M& A C- a; \: I/ q5 n
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7 n0 ~' U) k4 U# q, A. Q v+ t! x* KIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
; e6 {3 ^' R4 A i7 r3 t( H5 f# qHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) ( E' G* l- r V, H, S6 u
Watson: Get that out of my face. ~+ @4 _7 S0 T5 K: _
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
0 e. _2 n8 N3 P4 }Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.3 J% s: ]8 S" n8 ~* v, {* `
路人警官 Clarky上场。
* @$ |# U1 ^# X$ t9 }3 nClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.) Z- b7 G0 M7 V. X" t! o% }5 ?
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) 0 v9 U2 N2 s' n, C3 N7 c
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 & R( ?% Y5 |1 v! e- m1 i
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?' w& Q" m( T/ D7 o! q1 E1 S* j u
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
* @; A5 L7 `, ]& e( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) ; @3 U* [7 I' f) X
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
$ A' |0 |$ l8 a8 }$ b% JWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 5 O1 Y: Y7 Q( _
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
: j' `" W; _+ K3 T) }: J3 q& zBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…% `: |0 R- m; e* ?: M8 Q5 M* ~
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 1 P5 v+ l6 e6 g8 K7 K, B
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
* P, k) @# M* Y! G: m) N) KHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
' t3 B; g& z; O" s: l& |后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
& [ k S& w; J! [2 r( rHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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! Z- g" W8 B- b( P& Z% s% N2 R警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
$ l3 j6 Y3 D. _4 D6 a% C& MLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.$ P! e8 Q( Y# U# h
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/ b. K# W4 x# o9 B0 y* q接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
6 _0 W. h# @; J) m- A& ?* m2 I话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
8 e% B2 N2 C6 P$ r' IHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) ; N+ ?' X7 _ c" L7 N
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
# v5 m. d" H2 L/ t2 s) [! s8 ]4 uHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) ( ^; f+ e( w+ }2 [
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
! Q# f: z8 P2 n& M3 _9 }Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
* F( S: w3 A3 a) C/ h! dHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
8 A9 ]3 A) W/ ?2 [# t! IWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) + j, e9 z) y1 B- G9 z
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) & C+ y2 }& K* ~4 N' `) [
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
2 R w1 ]* h' {" vMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
8 m" Q3 b" }# A5 g, R% y" W7 y9 X2 X( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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) b( _3 E2 s$ i/ e* y; m总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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