《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。- D+ {4 u0 C) z: o- y' G' e$ o
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）# c, s. L" M( P3 w. C: t
Holmes: I just picked it up.1 G  c& [6 Y1 P. D" z
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）! Q. K: o) G9 ~) x
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
3 Z  B/ u8 V* G! c9 E% aWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）0 T# S( c4 n" h9 E6 p& T+ x3 }
Holmes: You did.
2 m, H' g" [4 b4 n（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）# P# [% V& o0 O# s
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.6 L& a6 M* j/ j# m2 m
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。  Z" h* S+ j( d0 s
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
- y4 I* @- l/ x$ J( @" `- LHolmes: Granted.7 m% D% Z+ T2 i/ n1 G5 w: Y
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。+ B  s7 h& @) B9 _" y8 C% f( I1 g. G
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）9 e1 M7 y- B! {
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, h3 U- `. d2 I9 s$ ~# L拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。) N& K* Q' F2 z: n1 Z
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
- f$ U9 o( n7 kWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）! }7 G- C' V( u! z6 n
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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6 Q. d3 x/ _5 w4 \; A( AIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。# y# S2 U' I+ c0 c+ n. ]7 G
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）4 f7 ^- q$ l1 A; J( q! W$ v. F" B
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
9 \& z5 E3 e4 C8 bHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
! Q/ C$ |  @' I: {* M2 rIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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9 [* z! c9 W/ f7 f* k8 GIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
' {6 r- _/ U7 I/ j  I! u, ?Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）8 f4 }( B+ t8 Q' I+ h
Watson: Get that out of my face.
' u# F7 `0 a1 C' P& |$ WHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
4 e% j7 P4 b4 WWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
6 Y. n! o% A5 @, N2 ?1 D路人警官Clarky上场。) h- t7 P, |' y" a8 m/ ?' M- X
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.0 F$ Y6 q# D0 r7 g5 i
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
5 J+ H3 q; B3 v  P8 f得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
( b3 @7 I4 Z1 K4 b( s) W4 g, Z+ `$ HWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
! [8 o# v5 [- [/ p' i) J5 WHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not." G5 d/ ^, N" E$ V- c" |
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2 q: B$ }  q! K墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。5 Q9 t* x2 g9 d2 F* [' q
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）  h' B2 b- X. D0 J) ]* d
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely./ q' v6 x2 e" x2 x8 K
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）+ a$ H: L" d% @+ _
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
6 Z. }" B  y" N. Y* X0 U2 C' L8 OHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）# Y3 T1 r9 i! \3 p
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
+ b, s- k- z3 f) o0 W2 g" ZWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）/ ^7 n9 Y" |/ N
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。& ~: ^" D( H+ P) p( I# N
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）8 f" u+ e7 ?3 M; \' P9 v
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
1 c, x, S& V  A# m0 u- yHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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1 ]0 o- s4 ^% l( p  K" I警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。: y( a+ G) I7 t, s9 D. e; p7 V
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.: E' j2 w& A- E7 ^; s( V
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9 p) n/ C6 z" s接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
" i4 {* I" d( s7 H话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
) G6 N! B' ?4 |- o3 q& ]( vHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
6 y( w% L' C/ E$ Z+ cWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）$ _9 [- n7 B7 k1 d
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
3 O/ x6 T. y, q8 h, e1 p6 x5 IMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?$ w! H* `0 \9 l* n
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）6 S  z1 s+ L6 i% z5 g* D% j
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
. ~" B  T! m8 {( Z4 {2 L" FWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
  ]0 A6 Q4 ~% xHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
6 n$ k1 n8 d- m( M/ nWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）" v6 @' c% S" R$ }: s* \% H
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
  i  k& ~% w& e3 Y- X: i（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）" J' M5 h/ b# }+ I! L' Q& K; Q- f; w
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……