《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。) b. F% l6 g( g0 \" y
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）5 M5 n# f+ ]) v. {* s/ g# s
Holmes: I just picked it up.! F8 L: U5 L. G
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）" O! H1 l, C) P( [8 K/ r
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
/ }& F5 n+ z' a2 F, y$ v" fWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
0 V5 a& v/ t$ J! V3 z' _( fHolmes: You did.) r4 @) H3 g5 s3 P
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
1 J& e3 @7 M; N2 Y( v- i( WHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.* J7 O  [" o- J. `" R$ N' p) ?
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% G* M# v, v% P宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。0 F: D8 u: f2 ^8 V  \5 w5 T- m
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.* l$ N% h5 D$ M; N/ c; u9 T
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。' `1 U) x& U0 I  }( f
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）$ {) L- _( A4 B4 \
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
6 f. R. @4 R" M6 E! DWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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  M3 ?" e( f; F, Y  d% ^. L* XBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。. a% w0 s' C5 o, p1 f
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?- n5 M+ o; f; m& O, |
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）7 |- y, t" G5 ]' y- {& ~) S
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.9 U( x/ n+ ]: W1 u' R. V2 t) U$ `" _0 K
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。3 [! y6 R8 E( J$ q, V
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）6 ~. D0 T& W- |6 t- ^+ n
Watson: Get that out of my face.
2 B) p$ A' o: }/ c# WHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.2 _1 ]0 O# f& m. S8 c
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
* `4 m, @& H1 F# D0 P* w4 l+ y路人警官Clarky上场。
2 V& G' |3 Y1 l9 t7 ~% s$ ^3 mClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
, Z( z! u+ N' @6 }$ L# X/ WHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）# t$ ]; N6 d1 V2 A3 w3 `* X
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
6 ]8 D- P0 q; V; I9 lWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?& z) y/ ^5 u& j
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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' ?2 i8 I& p$ V; V墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。* M% d+ M2 f! n8 I/ h: l% I
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
- \% M( q  M0 o2 VHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.% f3 E% r5 F! r
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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" [  o: E. F9 ^" L+ p  {河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。  c* K: f$ K, K' O9 ^6 r9 I  n: ]
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
8 Y! A1 D) \2 e  v& v* y9 dBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
7 k  w% K$ u: g& B# ^Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）8 \. W' M! `1 e1 c9 c& s4 f
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
9 Q! M8 D" \: k9 T5 P4 qHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）" h# R. Z% [  y
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。% U( |$ O6 R8 Q
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）5 b8 y5 Z" F$ P3 t+ F
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' }8 c1 t# r3 V' w3 i- ^1 r警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。2 T" C; j* D9 N% Y: k& C% T
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.- @# P1 f' r7 g9 \8 b
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  K; H, s/ S6 k$ m/ d, f# h接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。. |! t8 k9 k2 T
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。- f: Z, z7 X6 ~
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）& o8 c/ v' L: y& n/ D: w6 F: N- G
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）7 ~# s* ~! F: W! g  U4 o/ b
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）: m+ ~- r/ @* V8 a( A3 S
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?/ D( [/ `4 `" i
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）' w/ o5 t: H9 e
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
! {6 H/ X6 W# {! O- k" v- AWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）: C( E; Z0 T- E/ [  g& Y
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
9 H2 V& Q9 |: c% b# L) g9 t0 lWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）9 k6 ^( l# C! u5 j+ K' J" t* {
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
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0 H# N. M* u& j- W5 _5 \总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……