《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。" z9 N* ?% S# ?+ j8 a6 X. i! X
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）) B# ?9 I8 M% w$ c3 j( G1 f7 L
Holmes: I just picked it up., h2 U0 Y0 P3 i0 x: }! b9 O
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）( F% M5 Y/ B/ M
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
) R+ W: N: w: A4 @& H/ GWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
* x; w; z  K/ Y, ZHolmes: You did.
4 O4 P) H* d& ^  H! ]（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）9 P6 S0 q8 _+ _8 ?
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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& Y' M* I+ R# O/ M5 h1 h* E宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。; v* H/ I: G1 T8 t8 [/ K4 I8 ~
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.; q* I: w( r7 L' e+ D6 E2 j
Holmes: Granted.% l7 b, G- A, V8 C
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
" b  t9 T! F; m8 GWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）) O8 a* E! L  {1 E  s
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' f9 ?& d* {  ?, {拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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  {1 t" n3 d) ]: e+ G! e" V/ p. Z% ^Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
( `9 q2 D- k0 S6 UWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）) J- n) ], ]8 n
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# M  }; _2 h" A3 |) {Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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1 a7 c2 ?# x! g' o2 H( ~8 ?Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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2 y+ j4 Q0 _1 I4 Q8 \; xIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?6 D9 ^8 y! ]6 M
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）( a$ }+ h+ M3 h- x& S
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
4 x6 k% K( B. ]( s8 MHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）  y; r) P( b& f
Watson: Get that out of my face.
  c. I+ U* i" `+ w1 d1 FHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.8 ^3 e' E" I, C! a1 f
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
; r; s4 ?3 I2 e. ?路人警官Clarky上场。8 l+ u  h0 d2 n- E+ ~) G6 t
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.# j" p0 y/ x0 ?# F8 D; Q7 Q3 ^
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）' _8 x, P" n% ?, h3 n( ]
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
; A" K6 x4 i: P3 W/ hWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?( b* N8 a0 `3 u% a4 ?8 D
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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: W+ _' u3 ?$ Y2 c1 V* u/ c% mHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.( w: A% [! d: k2 ?
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。) N$ d" s6 g. R$ y) {0 F$ U% A4 c
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）  K$ E0 c5 W* G! P$ T
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…. {8 N+ P* i3 E; P( s& I, Q$ E! r
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）1 l* O: B' \5 ]3 a  S2 s1 S
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
) C- K6 a( z; `' ]* y; dHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）' T, o0 k& O) L4 U0 Y  k
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。& U: D0 W0 O3 {2 z$ M1 u
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）- |; l# Y; h7 e) j
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
( ], o: i  F5 NLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.# |% {# j% M& J" O
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。1 X1 n; x! _1 @# ]! z* X7 y
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
; d# J) c# A7 ZHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）$ v& |: m7 t! M. B& u3 V$ n3 ~% D# F
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）4 p9 a/ |' R; H" X. o' D2 }5 Z* x
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）" D0 t: e9 i* {. M
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?8 ?: r1 L6 S  }8 m0 h; }+ y
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
7 A, n/ R) K# G; d0 C+ `Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
! w/ {* I$ Q0 \: Z: yWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
5 m2 w, x- @. _1 y% ~- VHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）& b- |+ {8 T  W2 D; N- t; L
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
2 a" T" R. X( Y( ~. P4 _: OMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）( K6 d0 {7 {1 w, @# k$ V
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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4 x% v0 d5 w( x" Q/ C6 J总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……