《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。3 s; w$ v$ h4 x* w& v
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* _7 `2 @. ?2 O; l" A( `8 b影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。, E0 U! [: P. R: I
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）) W) D4 U/ s6 }9 S1 i  h
Holmes: I just picked it up.
1 T3 T+ ]1 B- A+ l' F5 VWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
7 v# t5 b2 n! p! uHolmes: Knew I forgot something.2 u  p8 C/ N7 `) P" _7 B
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
% U, M) K8 Q: o/ EHolmes: You did.
0 d+ X1 k& u9 @& T5 ~7 F（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
: x: g& D( A7 T& ]Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.% S' f4 ]+ h0 W
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。( \4 \4 Z) b' I- u0 I5 L
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
5 P, }- x, w/ I  j% w( BHolmes: Granted., c( u7 o# J2 y6 k1 ~! V$ s: h, ^! ?
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" b) ^1 o+ h, k& d. O晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
. Z$ x( \" E7 x5 o4 }Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。8 `. c) k/ h" M. Q; ?
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
) L' ]$ ~1 N7 l3 b$ H6 C) g" tWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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+ S% e- x& ^) W- n9 j  [Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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; d2 V1 F" Z* J3 r' E5 }+ \Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。  ~/ j* [' P+ V  P2 V" d
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
4 L1 N, n' x3 O9 B( ?( ~Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?9 ^  j3 ?4 O7 _! u
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）$ m6 O4 b' R! j9 m. L- j6 {9 w% {
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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# f0 E5 Z; `2 lIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。$ F3 x* H8 \- C) w' N* D- t
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）: ?  V1 t3 K* _, ?. B, V5 O- z( F
Watson: Get that out of my face.- h3 u6 Z0 O( Y# q1 z+ `
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
7 U* k/ A" t2 x) `Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.8 i' C" S0 E. V+ u
路人警官Clarky上场。
9 O2 k5 {* V7 ?$ X' rClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
) f3 k& _+ D( c# [Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）  y7 X- u7 _4 G3 w5 a  U
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。" q! i' M( j- {# @1 q3 x1 u7 t/ i
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
( I/ g% |; F+ c) lHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.7 q# |, j$ i/ P$ n8 x& o4 A; O
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
& x5 m: n2 i& M" Y; x- n) Y1 q（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）9 ]; u5 g7 K# A- b  H2 D! G
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.6 V( v, W2 Z- \9 q
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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4 Q3 w5 E, E0 [' x5 L& N5 l8 x河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
0 s; R; Y. U' a( tHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）* ?" b) D- R  _5 S; y- N
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…$ V# ~% @$ i8 }% K. i7 k
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）9 {" W, Q% ?2 N* q. A1 P
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。; J9 G- j+ k. ]* t
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
, g3 w5 l# _7 j后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
/ \3 c: E  |8 x; _$ FHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）3 \: E$ Z- s& V7 p
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。. z9 Y; h/ P+ D8 p( J
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.9 M/ I/ @- y3 ?" D0 \) P6 v
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
- @9 p# z; N8 I0 p- T话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。. n6 n  F( U- Q, ^
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
9 b5 ]0 m8 \2 N  b/ g& T3 XWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
8 A$ |/ v3 }8 t6 S! I0 f* fHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）6 J, U3 ?9 B& c6 |. ]) Q
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?" @1 J) m5 Q/ Y! e; L1 t4 u8 S
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）, o9 b  ?5 B% Q0 _% v' J
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）- R* w5 X, x% o2 ]
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）1 ]6 l8 ?9 A1 P$ C; e- U2 e8 _
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）! Q1 s& b* N/ x6 K4 l% j1 E
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
+ t% Q5 w) C, L3 ~2 e. n# j8 `6 e% jMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）, Y& J% D2 \* |* D0 F1 Y  S
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）* q% b  r! d. x  u8 i9 i8 y# {
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: `) M1 h. z. j4 s0 V总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……