 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 , g5 @" {& Z) w4 X
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 " k& y0 F' E! l. q' F$ U) J& R
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
9 Y" V2 O5 P* J2 SHolmes: I just picked it up., s8 T, `5 v# p) V5 q- c' Q
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
& G& j$ [' G% F/ b7 D, T CHolmes: Knew I forgot something." Z5 K3 F/ J; B8 V0 E$ ~
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
9 p& n1 W7 |" }3 R$ BHolmes: You did.
2 W/ C1 h! b) ^; F+ L5 l: b8 m, U/ ^(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
( d- V. w% B6 u) |Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.2 l0 _9 p' i: ?$ n8 M; [6 h
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 & S' F- Q% I5 ^4 b+ D9 B$ v- F
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.- p4 N& R+ W% [5 Q5 H
Holmes: Granted.7 I- P- o" t8 O8 C l4 {
3.
) n0 `" t6 ^' r, _5 C* Z4 L# X晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
3 e" y5 V& V& o% dWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) # y, N0 N8 z; B- b- r/ ~
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' q- L1 L( O0 \/ S6 Z" Q+ W拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 1 x. G( T; Y# u: s7 x
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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1 q- B0 z" R$ ^7 tHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 1 b3 b W4 W- h, `5 j
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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1 Q% ~4 a( P: J. W. ?Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 , Z/ P1 w7 Z( H8 d% N2 F& R: m& t
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) . h1 f9 P1 t5 H; e, p" Q
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?; S# j3 m- ~* u& X+ d' P' R( y7 d
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) - c- n9 i, u2 A. `
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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: C6 W+ P! K" P7 {/ mIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
; W* y8 b7 w% l( _Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
! D3 A/ u5 X- O, t+ G% s# MWatson: Get that out of my face.( o1 M9 A" ]# U
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
% X3 |) ^7 C" m- p9 u: j$ L: mWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
) l0 w( d# c+ s5 W/ ~' b7 ]. U路人警官 Clarky上场。
/ ?' j# D' H% K5 ~Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.# ?, H# ]2 J1 F3 V7 X* T4 n
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
D$ z1 q3 g- |得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 . z" K0 E5 W( ?6 H4 P
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?) _ \* B0 J, U& F8 i7 T8 Q z
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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. Z& A- W# Z- f3 H+ {墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
% b+ K! e+ y, X- Y$ [( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
% Z2 L8 }* x* j2 z& {" `Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
( P7 _9 ?0 o& q' [ j2 c* OWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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5 Z8 r; n+ P1 W: a, G# ^% O河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 L, ] Q/ ]/ }2 d+ {) f
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
* Q9 g, R' n: {& q* @Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…3 j8 Q+ H) I' t, ?
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) % V: c* `2 s1 y0 B ^
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
& S S! F" G' gHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
6 C% x* L+ p( C9 c, L# f6 o后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 $ h& O, L3 { @1 a$ N8 L
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) " e" l% c* E( e) |
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
. e0 x9 G, f' r5 bLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
$ j3 V, i0 D7 m* p% o0 {话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 $ m) m6 L8 O( h
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) " k. g; I1 d2 [$ O
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
9 C g3 m2 {7 Z3 THolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
( x! n# w0 B/ c" _' E7 vMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
, z. f2 E3 y. QWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
- q& o+ j |4 n7 N4 e9 {Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
7 \" ~; h: P* R+ U2 kWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
4 N% ?! h5 q6 h( l kHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
* ?, ^+ T. M* u+ [* _Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
3 f8 I- E* ^2 i# D& I1 Z8 rMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
3 i% g, p8 D$ c8 }, q8 W$ T( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) ! E5 p0 q5 x+ \ {
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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