《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
! l7 }# k% I( @( e$ |Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）/ C* M) F3 x( t2 U6 W! r" A3 c/ m# W
Holmes: I just picked it up.7 J; X$ H5 [$ h/ O8 N
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
7 l/ @( C- T" ?2 F" P! z& OHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
# J' m4 M( H' OWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
. v3 a& N& w6 S5 ^. G$ P. XHolmes: You did.5 \3 t' a: Q/ A: H
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）. E% X  F$ w( F7 F* J5 v
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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) H5 V8 X; v& G宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
" o! H- [# P$ p) d- Z$ MWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
  H7 a8 k! ]* P- O& JHolmes: Granted.0 ]% d; ~, d6 g$ P8 v* w( ]0 @
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
+ E% V1 i# {: r0 JWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）( q: F; }+ L) k
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- {& Z4 {" z$ a拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。) }  y4 |  u; L9 e- y' c0 T; |4 p! D0 S
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) I# V4 {' Q4 @& K6 S; G2 wWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。, {/ ^7 s+ ?. e
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）! \& k5 r' V1 J0 Z/ D
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% R2 M% x  p' j7 H4 tHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。; b5 ]8 R4 C. Q6 h
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。& D% D' }0 ^3 A" J* r
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）2 H9 W  o  P. H. ?5 P9 ]0 F' c
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?) N8 n1 y9 p( ?% p
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
( a3 J6 F7 D0 C# z8 BIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。6 h7 z* d& U/ H4 X( T! o
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
4 |9 Q- }; O0 ~1 \- PWatson: Get that out of my face.
6 o: r! C- y0 ^) uHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
& t, D6 i5 \% w9 I/ }Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
( l/ r9 n" ~* ~3 B路人警官Clarky上场。
) s/ H. L8 f5 @2 c2 nClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once./ P% J3 ^6 c2 Z! g5 f& P
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）; F: t4 I* Q- |3 ^/ `4 X; }
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。3 i9 q/ P  D' A* Q# \
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?* I) n) F, K  ^0 U! ~0 T% e9 E
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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9 ^% l. s; N. ~8 B6 Q墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
3 {( I( @( x7 @+ @（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）& M6 G. Q# I; R# b) Q
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.4 j' o7 R9 E! t$ G
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）5 d1 _* v. ^' ~/ Q' r
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7 V# y: \+ l+ v8 m* S" D( g6 Z河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
, Z& l% q5 g6 L  T* M6 n3 IHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
+ ^) i$ S1 S( L& P( f+ eBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
; S. _% C& ]' }) ]7 sWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
) y/ X" }! v# ]" d6 X3 C死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
% b9 |9 a$ p0 qHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
5 |2 s% b9 l' L% y2 W! l后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。  l4 r3 }3 H# ^" T  r
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）. V" h/ b4 ]3 l9 a
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
4 b/ v5 B: o6 T  [! p9 BLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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! `# [3 _: e& h. Y2 @9 S* w9 K接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。: c4 r" {! z! m0 }
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。; [' D7 Z' D, `4 I  B: F
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
) W. J- Y; [+ O' KWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
! }# I# Z4 ?1 A) [Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
$ V; }* z5 Y0 Q( |! B. [Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?- C2 |7 v9 r0 ~
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
7 V5 A% M! a9 o# D1 S0 W; xHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）9 B) _# Y  ?* I/ N3 _
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
8 u4 k2 o, H9 M9 S2 OHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）3 L' [# ~$ P* w8 ^9 M1 f
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）$ T! |( g# `+ d. r
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
5 Z8 t; p) C7 c% R& \7 i1 k7 |（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……