《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。7 a2 s4 {# T6 D; h. d+ U
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2 D: t, O( P/ P8 A# g影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
2 _' w/ O6 a8 C5 G2 MWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
! w9 n5 q' T4 |+ _Holmes: I just picked it up.
9 o8 d; Q# h, m4 b" ^; V% @  }Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
" Q% }- w# T- B2 E+ [& U3 G6 cHolmes: Knew I forgot something.- l9 n6 u. u% A! V1 B
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）! ?; N$ F# j9 r, r8 h$ ]
Holmes: You did.: _7 ]' }8 y/ l1 X& k- G+ X
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）- r; C) V7 Y2 T; `6 ?' M
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。3 [- P$ w+ O( I8 l2 g. @- ^$ u
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.4 D, q( y) u5 I# X0 A  U2 G
Holmes: Granted.4 L% e' b  ]4 Z: T6 p" e4 ]4 M$ V
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。& M2 ^( {! a* u! S
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。* V* x7 t$ G# f9 S8 A( S1 G' ~
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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) M4 _/ {% e) i" w3 O6 ]Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。$ y. q! Z1 j4 W( Q
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* j# O$ K" ]) s# RBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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8 ]3 f: t' I2 d, P& k2 _Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
- d6 p6 P6 K$ w9 p, c* `' l（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）1 X: V/ J' y# X2 P
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
9 t* }7 c$ u4 a* r$ eHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
/ O9 W% |. N3 {: B& d9 Q: X- xIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。7 {. P* `- T6 r0 Z* v
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
2 w4 k) s8 @, a% zWatson: Get that out of my face.
$ C* K. l2 p* X) dHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.8 e+ w: w' M, ~# J% U& m
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.* x5 d+ _' I2 T( Q; K
路人警官Clarky上场。9 u% o. f, g: b  P, f
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
: B/ a3 I$ Y" ~Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
3 ~1 D$ n4 ]# @% M; a2 d7 ^5 j) o得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
) u& u4 {  f/ m8 _  {  H! _' w0 R; pWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?# g$ V0 o, e" j% ~4 T" [7 X
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。7 E# K  j# g: v4 r3 u' o2 C
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
9 e$ V+ v8 N2 E5 w1 kHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
# m+ R9 T$ V0 F4 D1 hWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）8 _  j) E9 }6 j) n
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3 U- g, i) }& @& R" L' b3 y河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
4 ]6 l& o) s0 I. |& qHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
- m4 @# c/ a1 w- PBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…+ @7 s. n: t3 R) `7 t
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
8 {5 {5 K1 ~- k( D+ |死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
" H$ ]% n$ E" e* x# CHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）! d; S, q8 |" |8 `3 S
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。; z+ u' v" x3 e* l( [5 N; z7 O* e
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）3 F' j* R  C( _% J7 q) \
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。* e" k3 R- R$ t( A7 S9 o/ s" X
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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3 @" G' b3 b' k, F0 O! z) \接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。7 I# G/ I$ T7 |7 e+ ~  y/ X1 F4 C5 E
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
+ r2 k4 ~; H: PHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）+ h/ c1 m- {, v  B+ E# _0 v# z! q( Z
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
/ Z5 m3 ?4 z+ EHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）& Q1 b9 d) ^* H1 o$ ^: u
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
3 ?6 |* l/ e3 h5 O$ g" }Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）: b" ]: s: z0 J7 W
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）0 U8 d) |" G) _4 i/ [
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）' j1 q- w; u8 S+ M7 ]0 p- E6 o6 x
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
" X! {4 P- K1 n7 {# OWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
' }  z3 d( i6 N: g) MMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）, j+ E% Z+ G4 S8 U% K; w
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……