《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。6 z+ ~0 u& i8 [1 k7 y$ S
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）. d2 s, \, i8 |0 V
Holmes: I just picked it up.$ V: `" z; |! Z
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）  [7 ~; G$ I' t8 S4 f2 O
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
/ ]3 O. Q" a7 u+ n& u. a( FWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
: |, C1 [2 f. M5 n6 @2 E8 iHolmes: You did.
+ C6 H. f) a" Y! Q（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
* E- o& k) v, U1 e9 sHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.6 U, H+ R: d/ e% z7 Q
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。/ d, U+ P& o& }/ s) q9 ?: f
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.5 K) n6 s) d8 R- [
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。' L! L3 C0 U) }5 b' U( q6 r
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
1 e5 M9 j1 C% i- W& yWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。3 \( R6 \! @( {# r
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。% \0 A  o) v8 n+ N+ K& Y: V
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。. c! n* K( M+ ~' D6 Z! F5 m
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
: K3 ]# m0 r( h5 R& |  J. I9 n" lIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?$ q9 e3 ^" G. U* s; _  k
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）  i( q: w2 M9 @2 w$ }
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.5 o2 M/ @7 U" @' {9 Z% {% ~- k$ P
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, I" `: |* U( \! I+ D5 EIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。) S: _( Z" u/ z7 Z% W% h3 |; @6 |) J
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）! J3 _$ J2 n/ l) K. I' Y% b# U  y
Watson: Get that out of my face.
7 N" {9 y1 I& y3 h2 l' WHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
. X4 Z0 P& O) h: N  ^. b  bWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.( U- l; \: T5 i
路人警官Clarky上场。
3 E& Y0 `6 s% ^1 g% YClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.5 s) L9 ~6 t, i9 O7 T
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）  C8 j( M& G& ?7 W$ t2 p
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。; h! S& W# P0 Z
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?- F/ R3 ~+ B+ n4 p. y" Z7 Y
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.' ]! O! J( I7 Y3 b; W0 {
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。- Y) T# `* g3 z0 l2 u
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
+ y$ l! x$ p* U7 `; t/ vHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
" X; d4 ?: f' S" s8 UWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）2 u7 ^( H# w: S. z6 N
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& M& G/ }- Z5 X$ y: ~& K河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。% ]/ L+ {2 \2 O
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
5 L7 u" c0 g3 c+ c( t- @, KBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…  L" F) _8 ~' `. F! L
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
* K- x8 m( P8 c1 V9 L" n/ C+ M$ Z" u6 X死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
3 r. f3 d  {4 k& h- R5 AHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）- M" a0 x  M- q9 b
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
+ }" _+ k/ [0 T* c4 w  A3 sHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）. A9 |: z* [! Z( l5 o, i
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4 Q! d; a+ g. F* {  A7 r3 w警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
" e% W  h' @) d1 |; `1 b4 \Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.0 z6 O5 o1 c, a8 o; |
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。" F' p! n3 S% x9 b8 r) ]$ X
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
, W, @. U4 }8 g6 M* }Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）  C0 h  C+ K1 R( }( p4 N, K+ d
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
* O* d0 H" Q  o8 GHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）, h5 m. s6 T8 r7 f7 D+ h4 Z6 r
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
* f! O; O' k) O) TWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）5 S$ v; L% \9 [4 o
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
! D8 A2 E7 \2 `2 K+ F* OWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）4 W5 f4 {* B7 \9 H: A
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
7 p* I" E! O5 C( {9 x  X, gWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）2 j4 x$ T! r" A% W
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）: q4 _; {, u. ^1 ]1 I" C
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）: F1 I# Q+ _6 Q
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$ Z: E2 B0 L. Q( A% |# \: N总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……