《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。+ c2 d. {4 V, p: w, f9 \8 `
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
. s2 y. K9 H1 d+ {+ E0 r8 d# }Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
- q* j5 m: m% u8 C4 r4 [( DHolmes: I just picked it up.
% `0 e0 c; w# x- z1 t" j4 O. f; [Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）: p; |3 r; n' V$ T
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
5 f3 n/ j( F3 e( _Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）$ \2 z& g' J/ v6 V1 J' U
Holmes: You did.
5 m5 G( h2 E  j7 V2 d（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
5 T. P0 E) R8 a- O  C' b2 _# b( DHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.4 j: F  K- h/ O* U8 b7 f! b3 c
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。4 ^7 ]; A6 J) k$ K, ~" o
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
1 b6 P% E* C1 Z$ ^- h' O1 I% G2 i! uHolmes: Granted.* e1 [- z" B$ }* A( X
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' M; e0 q2 R1 `4 O) W7 Q晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。$ r0 q  }+ O/ U' n+ X
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）+ }5 c6 ]; z- M& S/ E" p8 K
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9 Z$ H! Z) ^$ S$ D9 U拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。( l- G* t0 ~* O0 L9 V$ ^( e
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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4 A" B9 H: [) B& iHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。1 F0 C9 N" o# H; F( t
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$ S: x2 `- ^1 [" |Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。' o, |$ n6 B7 g( o8 I0 u; Y
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( H7 M( B4 d; r  VIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。* z+ L/ M4 s; l. Q4 A
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）3 f! T# o: {9 P6 o- k
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
6 b3 S5 s! S5 _! @) @Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）, U3 E8 X( q/ H' r. i& w
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
  `" Q* N0 ]7 l5 JHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
! Q; `6 `' u5 N8 t1 ~) |/ YWatson: Get that out of my face.+ T% ]9 g8 M4 U% p5 o: }
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.$ k& _$ J; q* H& `4 b$ E
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.! S/ v# l5 Z1 \) t
路人警官Clarky上场。. N$ _, ^% [2 C: G
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.) p& u/ x4 s2 v1 a9 z' O  J' V
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）+ @1 W) M) N0 m6 ^( _  ]9 u0 x4 c
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
9 D7 b7 K+ a9 P0 z, b0 w9 r! UWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?0 D$ H8 R* q: b7 `% u' k% \5 A
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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$ i& K& t5 L4 ~7 T# U! D墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
- k( u5 m: }, V（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）$ v, c/ w- Q# N
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
- ^- @- ^9 a" |9 I5 @Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）# |; A* K8 K3 }0 [8 R) w' R
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! E, V$ X6 g4 o- E5 O3 d河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
1 z4 t, X/ ]# {' k: DHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
, F; F3 k2 g4 m" oBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…8 f4 U6 F7 r& B4 Q
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
' M# K" N: O0 u/ K6 X/ U死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
: q1 U' x& W6 }% D, B% e5 ZHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
7 f% G7 ~: k2 V/ c. a- T后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
! S- }2 O# j( ~1 _9 H" `Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）3 R7 Z# Z/ A- G7 Y. }& G
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。$ {# F% _1 H8 W
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.$ F" h# r/ r* G: r7 f( I' \* o
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。  G; u' P% I9 b6 g, M
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
( Y3 M  X  I7 p8 @Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）# p# E# Y) T5 w, A
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
0 y) r$ v* ~( q: G' C6 mHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
& ]' k! r0 j: H8 H5 }/ D$ s) iMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
4 A) c8 t/ {- g: s! S' G+ JWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
: A, k$ V* b0 }& AHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
" o/ u8 S" P$ b/ g, N" _* v; iWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
6 D$ n4 @/ n+ [; O. j# W* p5 hHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
; h( I- F* {* IWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
* P) k! R) G& e9 X; j7 _Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）# t% U( r4 x2 }3 j
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……