《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。1 y: Q# @/ S4 g; z8 ]7 M
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）7 q0 g: ^7 P1 A- N- D" \/ }
Holmes: I just picked it up.1 S) G! `% P- B$ t
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
6 m( S, O  i6 g& z! A/ m2 l2 `3 uHolmes: Knew I forgot something.8 n# Z- n5 K6 g6 y
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）. v; l# y% H3 s' p, ]
Holmes: You did.
; S3 S/ I# |5 P, b% H9 t% W6 [（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
0 y- ]' |7 s2 Z0 I7 ?Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.: W* y( ?0 u  p: y
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" I& o' q* w  H  }宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。, ~2 h4 _, v4 ~
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.. I2 i5 Y* ]# }* c$ [
Holmes: Granted.: L2 V, S; C! `- D4 c5 K
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。: q; I9 G) `; Z5 f
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。! `( p" G! J) G! G8 B% D
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8 l2 h: n( s( O4 q0 eWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
& `  z: b* n5 \$ t: kWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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; z, z; V& ]! N% |$ PBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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# b2 ^# a$ m& `Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。; C  t+ C5 a* y: M
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
$ q# N- a3 R, k) HIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
; A" s; s& _) [+ t4 |: G4 w. w7 t- NHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）, l6 b" e; m" C7 N! K/ ]) ]
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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5 w  y3 q! }2 KIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。" X3 _  s0 C  ]6 r/ i6 L6 |/ P, }
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）6 c8 D0 V, O% V! ^! {/ r1 }* w) H
Watson: Get that out of my face.
- a$ c1 L3 C( g9 l+ P- ~* THolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.( _; C, Z. w9 W4 Z0 }
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.9 ]9 T) L2 f9 I; P0 g0 k% N
路人警官Clarky上场。" H, C2 A9 F- C; c, p  i
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.4 t7 x" o. r& L* q# f, W- f* c
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
! c* d! z: g' f) W7 m* p# u: u得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。: p# D" B" }/ P: d
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?5 I. }" M* h% @; X, d
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
$ f; {7 q& f' A& d（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
' ^  U. j6 [2 v+ @% BHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.; @- ?1 J9 D( X( @5 y/ C, ~5 b
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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4 n" @. c# G8 O( F  O河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。' X- r: q+ f* \: w
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）; T( `3 Q; d9 `6 f  }
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…' N$ F$ U, X; O% Q
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）5 d5 E$ X7 f6 J/ B4 y- h
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
) U+ C+ S3 e% Y% q3 B" fHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）+ a# [' ^; s- p& k- j* Q4 W
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。' F. `1 F* P- G3 b+ L; b; G8 U
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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! d/ t. u; D9 v; |7 O& m警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
6 c* S( j- R3 v; q7 {) k6 x- ELestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
; `2 S# v' H3 G5 ^8 x话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
5 O. ]0 l+ Q4 {! y+ ?. CHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）6 Z3 k% a& B) ^, R  ~- z% q
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
9 ^( F3 h9 T) F/ j" SHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）: M$ Z) [, p3 d! |2 W
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?4 P3 ?: r9 H* E# C# P
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）( L- n" i- @* y6 z0 j
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
/ w8 G4 k6 ]* l! L8 Q5 {Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
3 ~6 o: e. w# j. k( V4 FHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
; @8 u/ W0 A0 rWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）! z5 b) t1 V  v" G8 f0 o7 U- [
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……