《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。# M0 N. \1 U* `( v# s
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。2 Q* V, s0 q# k' P+ x- {$ O
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）. o8 X$ v7 ^$ z5 k) f& ~
Holmes: I just picked it up.
) H1 y5 |8 K7 @  PWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）" l7 T- ?4 {& I  n
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
# O7 O0 J- e0 {. w5 O! Z6 JWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
+ q# Z% w9 I) k7 ~5 l$ b, xHolmes: You did.4 n% Q8 v  H  L) y' R
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
- j9 W: ]/ B' BHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
" J9 f5 O- p/ C- rWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
/ M( j/ O, t5 F9 \. oHolmes: Granted.$ j4 g# p2 H8 c8 I$ O
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。. ?: _% Q, y' n# q& Z6 h2 e
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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9 `& I. |1 s9 n9 X9 G# h" R9 {拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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8 T8 {) c. Q/ `  e- e* Y, O9 x/ r) xWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。  P. S, l9 [& ^2 f
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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! b/ n& P: ]1 p/ G4 \Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。7 K) D" c" u) H% c, ?* c& M
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。" z( T+ _' B) W/ f4 s  c" q( k
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）) j6 k  {7 _$ h& {
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?2 P3 N# m  i% H5 Z. p0 s
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
+ F. f- ?3 H0 H. S% P: h7 [Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.7 G1 I, ?& u; Y# H
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
9 x/ z+ G' T  Q( u+ A% h# q6 bHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
* p# |: u" u: L: DWatson: Get that out of my face.
' w. u6 ]( p. q' L# E0 ^7 kHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
' Q2 A' f: u# {( t% SWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
* {8 a7 k" y+ k0 V8 s9 b' Q7 L路人警官Clarky上场。2 N5 h, r6 j% o2 n  g
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
- F  P( c3 C# uHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
4 |3 k; a. V0 P: m* M2 n# z/ t得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
  ^' a+ Z! o# y, }  kWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
" B/ G3 ]  L' W+ f2 mHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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2 Q& X7 x1 o9 y9 a2 O, l墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。4 B2 A6 B0 N+ X, {5 |6 Z
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）" u( k/ u9 t  v
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely./ {, g% E. o$ E
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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6 P7 s( h. f- {- c8 R4 [河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。9 I" v9 x5 S6 @  l# X1 _
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）7 ]& \6 x; ]2 {; u, S4 m, K8 m
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…  Z& A! ]5 @) `& v" b5 R7 h
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）) K: L) M) l7 x4 U- d) X4 b
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
% C- i& H% F% @Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）" r( X* ^( E+ w/ d2 X: U3 a5 p5 B2 n
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
/ R8 o& M( l5 T9 q$ K" _0 {9 k9 a7 OHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）3 S* j4 ?9 U3 J
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
1 O% S) B! B; y$ Z, O# K. \Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。- Y2 i+ G: i! u# f( e
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
4 J7 t# H5 ~/ G, CHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）( t: W: q# C/ A# U
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
. [  r9 Z" U0 J! ]4 ]! F1 }* F$ bHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
* R7 X& q& X( Q. FMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
' _: M/ X1 A6 T* gWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
1 ]9 O! a+ x+ k$ aHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）  ]9 Y/ m$ {, K3 c3 `
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）- h! s6 q) O  d' j2 E3 T
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）' ]% d: h; `* \# H3 o- V4 J+ e3 C
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）: |. G7 \( a; y  {- N
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
# b9 Y8 {3 A* v  @$ X/ g3 y3 M（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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; ]. k, D1 A8 b8 b2 p+ Z2 _总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……