 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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1.
" W) `0 v+ _* Q& H5 j# a8 x3 {影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
+ x0 L0 j4 n( G7 X7 T' YWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
+ {+ S {3 a( T) Y" i: dHolmes: I just picked it up.
4 M3 t7 I8 K; t+ `Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) ! ?: T* F% ?( l
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.. ^, ]4 {% Q* }9 ^5 u6 y8 d
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) ' `+ N; d& ~2 S; ]) U$ \
Holmes: You did.# B4 d' G, D' t: M+ t6 I
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
! W% _! r. z5 o6 sHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 : S, z' f, @& v# T& p, d) [% H
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.; @3 I, I r3 K) }) A9 T# Z
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 1 W9 ]2 E. Q% \( g Y% o
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) ( t& Y$ } e5 }' u6 Y
4.
o' W% z( S( g: U拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 % F' Z* n; D. L& P4 [, n
5.
8 Q: z# N7 f6 `5 zWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 + K: Y) b! K' Y; g7 u" s5 q. j
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) : q; @" P, m. g0 Q
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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- ?9 o% _$ j% M$ K9 O/ \% f9 VBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 }3 M2 V0 e9 S
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 % l+ K2 v }/ T; w( r% S( t
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 1 E8 R3 L' ~. O! h/ ]
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?# Y6 a6 Q5 O; S6 C
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
: {$ @& y( L8 s8 WIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.# q Q& V+ t2 O
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 2 b; Q: i' @; ?% t
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
o5 G; ^( K6 V4 L$ I9 g) Z% OWatson: Get that out of my face.2 l2 K% C4 _" P; D' e, ]( I
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
! \4 O5 a! l9 W; ?# Z' b) ]. z) aWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
4 d! u+ I# q5 H& l8 s4 _路人警官 Clarky上场。 / y, m* b& h+ w/ H M3 }
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
1 p0 J% O) r; ]: o& fHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
7 u# V/ r) S% ?+ d得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
. b" E) U1 }2 y; DWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
; p5 t R% I0 e* ^' q1 BHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.! o- T" Z2 ]1 |. b, i7 e; ]
10.
7 s/ y: Y, N4 d3 ~墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
, e6 U! K: D1 ~6 V9 g$ j, r e5 o- s, ~; j( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) ( D: `. H' x( R3 n& H; w
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
5 x4 x2 P$ S/ x) o6 z5 xWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) # H3 e) A2 n7 V; ^' D2 U; h3 t( Z( U4 ?
11.
3 \/ X2 `3 p4 d1 N河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 ) m" H% n' o/ U& ]# ~* i' j
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
" x. H) Y' ^$ w' BBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…- e& m& d) O# x$ ^" _' V' f" G
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
8 L& w, `% x0 S, x/ h" r死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
) Y& K; T/ J' y1 |8 YHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
|) M. D. u5 z后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 5 \2 L' H& I9 \# i
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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$ e4 p3 e# u/ S0 ?* m警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 9 c; l& W% m: r/ b
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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, c5 I% Q9 B1 B. y& X2 o, `接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
. O/ b O0 N) b& A+ J, l8 T话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
* n7 A+ j$ C5 X5 v0 N% F$ |' CHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 5 e f- j; u U2 J: x% e @3 D
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) ' b' q% @7 x4 ~* i) x/ T
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
+ Y$ B* ?2 X5 D9 A: e5 _Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
; l: ^9 l* H4 ?# N( p; mWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) 0 k- q; }" J+ x1 A
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) ; N6 x; X& R" p7 Z: G$ D1 r; G4 }
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 0 J, _: l# X5 k+ }& b0 h6 ~
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
2 U |6 n1 A! r1 \8 k* KWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
% P8 X2 |6 X) `. s: eMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) 5 h2 C8 D3 h2 T! _$ c: T( C
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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