《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。4 g( o8 Y, S; E! K6 Z
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; b* h3 Z. Z/ R! b4 I" ]# Y影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
( y5 F$ [' Y4 r) oWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）  @. x/ J# S; }6 V! k9 j
Holmes: I just picked it up.
! x8 u8 W* i/ a6 x9 C/ `7 xWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
  \  N6 A- c+ ~. w+ |Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
$ N+ n; o, ?& o9 g; E0 D7 yWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
7 |) J0 g7 B, J1 V" b( qHolmes: You did.; S: @+ h# `% g; Y1 S; M7 ]' d" e
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）$ J/ N) }: J% m6 `" Z
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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0 W( h0 q( q. N7 m宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
" t8 X% ?" ?0 E' d+ X0 k8 @" hWatson: Permission to enter the armory.3 k# c8 s! l$ d% t$ ^, Q& Z" d0 k
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。( A4 U7 v- M) z" s# p9 T8 D
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）% |: a  B' Q5 D# U( E& g7 u$ Q5 Q
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。2 g/ W2 G  [; w4 p$ t' _: p3 n
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。7 T- o# `! L3 E% I
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
0 A3 X( G" n) y6 [' U（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）( y& Z4 S) s# I4 \& g" D0 @7 q( N
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?! J6 H% m& R8 \, B& |4 T
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）3 Z" g7 H) n. l. x
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.: Y9 Y! ]+ U4 i& K  _1 n! [3 ~% s
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5 F8 o& N3 |6 U, H/ P" T- p- UIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。$ s: ~) E  y6 {' v0 z4 ]+ u7 c
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
7 ^: s7 q# h: M7 s3 R* FWatson: Get that out of my face.! m+ ^0 |0 P2 @
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.' W) U0 _2 i, a' Z' w0 l) k& q
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
0 y, g4 r, R8 I# Q" \& d路人警官Clarky上场。
+ W* `# r+ o% s! MClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
2 _) f3 [5 M. jHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）7 p9 {2 Y% W  @4 ]
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
2 U) H5 m* ?6 J" `1 B+ o+ fWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?5 s* v! t+ X. M; W) b% B7 L" S/ |
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not./ `$ [( O- }  F
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4 y7 m+ Q+ u/ U# H8 v) I墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
* b- T9 [1 a1 F1 C（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）) B- l' f* T4 c+ H" ?
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
8 [8 h! ?1 j9 U* i1 ~Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。; [" m- V" Q7 q: A
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
0 o# a: L/ {& L8 B% e' ~6 lBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
: A2 s" ~& q* p; j* rWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）+ S) J. b$ B" o4 [# W2 y$ L. t
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
* J. U1 k  [- V  \4 xHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
4 v$ u6 v# ~# G' d6 T" `后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
; [, c1 f* E3 ~# eHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
' `5 ]& z/ n5 Z  W. PLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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$ o' v% c' B# d7 R2 T接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。1 P/ G, i) v! x9 O7 |/ Y
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
! j- d/ _6 C$ h$ ^- ~0 r  \3 }Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
0 F9 X, @2 E! j# W8 s6 t$ MWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）0 i; B: c8 v7 z4 x+ x6 D8 i
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）6 I* w$ b* F8 \; o+ m0 {: q
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?' I/ }% [8 s, f7 Y" e$ Q, k! f% @- j# O
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
" P" M! Q, @0 P, P$ J% B5 aHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
, R5 M' O8 @8 v$ V) t9 e; D2 a6 gWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
: L# ~# U1 R- J2 T( _: cHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）; H& S2 z1 l: k! z( U
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）8 n% k3 X. q; l7 Z
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）' {# w, y& x/ T% E
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）' @) W) [: k& g) F8 l3 e9 R
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6 X2 j' e" {  {# N( ]$ P总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……