《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。# ~/ S) K5 V7 P: Z& t
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
" A) D& `0 ?* y- Z% HWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）8 Y) V. i  I: e4 N0 h
Holmes: I just picked it up.
2 U5 [4 F# V7 s7 d/ P+ uWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）" \  C- S2 L- v% E
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
6 y. d8 w& c1 h# \/ z7 SWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）% e! R% ^2 Y" q+ U7 i) }
Holmes: You did.- F, s8 J9 z' P, Y. A  V
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
2 v  |& K1 _1 D/ @Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。4 e( z" n$ R  |' L) W, @
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
1 ]) k1 L3 k. f0 RHolmes: Granted.  H0 K$ C9 e5 I: Y0 u! E
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( p8 c/ E: y( z' _! o晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
: G0 z# Q2 J/ ?1 Q. i! qWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）, X& @% B8 n' s! b1 n% v
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! v. I# g5 [7 A! ^  G: r& Y拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
% B& j8 ^* \1 @3 N+ h0 [" A; ?; HWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）. R0 G$ X: N6 ]8 l7 ~; A
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。" G% p4 H; r0 x/ H9 d8 }
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& B. v( M' U+ M& V; f5 Y) _Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。; N+ v6 b) U& r( J. C
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7 p3 x! t3 {+ R5 wIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。4 e$ `) R$ u: K) M3 ]1 e
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）. L1 K- M* E0 I) k
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?, n3 n  K. x# x: A( U' q+ w+ C6 b
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
/ R) s/ j+ d! w8 q/ X; TIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.$ X- l% a9 `2 b  m7 s6 h* p
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* W' H$ d; k4 j& W7 C0 U+ V, rIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。% b6 N9 }  {/ l4 M8 C
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
0 f2 ^0 `5 J4 H- K, EWatson: Get that out of my face.
7 [5 J! E' b) v, c: ?. w3 DHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.9 U: n- e: v% N9 \9 M8 ]/ `+ E
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.6 V3 R! M2 @2 J" Y
路人警官Clarky上场。, X0 P1 L5 Z! @' c
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
' s- n; o5 B) c+ t6 K: T, S7 YHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）! r1 u7 v7 h% q( g. o+ g
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
) x; f( A0 i. f, z3 {* T) E$ [3 kWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
- Z% I& A4 _2 x. k2 wHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.8 b% Z: F1 M$ M1 A! P+ V3 I3 _
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% g/ P8 U  e% x墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。5 x! q# `9 W0 q' i( J3 F% B( t
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
0 z. N9 u) ^+ ~, [* gHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.9 W& r1 o6 m- H0 Z% U3 b
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）1 R7 i9 |4 a: {8 T* y
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* t4 p7 j3 Q; u, j河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
) l! M' _" U% NHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
' w, `0 K; w. c- n& w; e9 E3 gBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…8 J0 i% {3 `9 n) Y3 g
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
2 Q6 [1 q! {1 z死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。# c2 D' Y0 c0 J$ P9 |. F0 g
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
* }9 W$ C: J  E: n! C$ Z后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
( N0 o# A7 u: XHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）# K4 w) \7 Q" l
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% U& B" W* l8 s- i6 w警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
* T& i7 a6 F/ r) DLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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6 N% T5 S7 f2 |# q. i. ?$ T接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。6 q5 }9 O  I, q2 N1 [( C
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。& d0 e; N5 s# X* p  U* w$ C) s. |1 Y
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）; M) s" w" b( \! u" s7 q
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）5 J' J+ G0 H) Q4 @# e) O
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）0 `) V+ b' f  W2 @: p
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
6 g7 A2 D* o$ S* u. ?* d! G+ [( n7 QWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
/ t8 O& F1 p6 c- @8 F. j+ R0 iHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）  h& @* d8 o6 E' j1 c' I9 m* o, c; d
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
: R# U8 i2 |9 i' _9 m9 j/ zHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
5 ^6 a: L7 }' f8 X4 QWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
+ f5 T. T/ `# o, S/ _0 PMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
) ^& ~/ ?" M8 v. i（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……