《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
; ?. q. O2 u* [$ N! ~8 {Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
2 C/ R1 o& ~0 V" H1 _Holmes: I just picked it up.1 c. K1 F, i6 r1 O, U: S$ V0 o
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）5 V6 b* d' {9 D3 j4 d0 ^
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.$ [! B8 H0 G- L8 _, B+ ~4 n
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
1 I5 Q- M: B1 ]: b( g' s/ o# }" F) _Holmes: You did.
5 ^6 A& C2 K9 Z% l1 B: d（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
1 {( i* C# j8 Z! {$ N5 C) WHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.3 v! x+ [9 P, o$ x
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+ B$ E7 i+ C, y( W1 _4 `! g宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。+ p4 `" }' P% |9 y4 a
Watson: Permission to enter the armory." X( c9 s3 w. P* o+ T  W
Holmes: Granted.9 n2 H; ~) ^$ E& |, H; N$ c
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
0 |5 ?. \: y! \Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）" L0 ~0 t8 a! }& R$ ^( x
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5 g* G, w: n9 q0 D7 ]' }, f拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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0 c+ p# H# b8 S2 p. PWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
+ v( A+ E$ Z) qWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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2 d) {2 Y8 Q5 S0 wBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。0 ^3 n0 H- n' x6 u9 Q1 s
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）" |3 D  C1 Z+ P; J  X
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?9 P  Y0 j4 x0 w  {
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）7 w! |% R2 ]; Q
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
3 T5 }) ]9 a3 R4 [1 ZHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）. W. G7 z" N. D9 Y! F" v& J% ]# d
Watson: Get that out of my face.
) f* w9 c# ~) K! g- lHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.$ j) v8 o* l! J& _3 b* a' m$ M
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.) f! {( ~# r$ s$ C4 v/ O4 @
路人警官Clarky上场。* X/ q3 |1 u4 X1 n' t+ f) [
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
9 s6 M8 w  w4 rHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
. l4 u( R. a: T得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。4 W1 ^7 ~$ a% |- H% k* `2 c( P
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?: X/ O  ?) \) M) ]
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.5 S& \3 U1 u1 s8 W- \/ K; U' ~
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5 w, P9 Y- i% t' Z0 C4 ^: Z墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
0 O  }, a% F1 ~: z$ ^1 T- E( d% t' @（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
) H' y5 \# k$ P" lHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
/ U2 `; K9 d# h# d7 b- bWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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* b: e% z  w$ L& u, S河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
& N/ W! D* U' H0 q: ^* MHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
7 s6 }1 y5 u" BBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…9 H) b) B/ w+ Q) ^) X
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
& R! W  i& I% U9 V1 t0 f' [死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。+ V' ~. `( Y3 `0 A( }
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
& l) @4 @3 R/ \1 Z" C0 l0 I" t后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。& i. K( d# a2 b6 ]
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）& D) T; I* m+ r" _; d" C) A
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( F( B. j4 I) a' V  \' H警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。& R  Q; w! [) W2 l3 f
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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! l6 P) ?- K* B3 M4 B5 G1 p% ]+ d9 n接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
% i% j6 Y) T- k. C4 o; K. j话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。& E) G3 O* N+ g# \6 r' k0 |7 }
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
) u0 {1 Z' r9 q" F) A- H8 JWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）" F; A% f, r' t$ j+ ^" u( U
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
/ u5 J1 Q" `- w0 iMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?/ w9 F+ n% I! Q2 s  J) e; ^
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）/ E, y! D7 R, t+ [
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
2 N, E/ _, k6 t; V% O  R. FWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）; t# y. ~$ r8 f- M7 i# i, Q
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
! c& x2 Z, A$ B! C. r* ~) i, o. dWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
$ ~6 V( e* f4 c: H. r# ?Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
, \1 x& ^6 }& u- b* J; {( c（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）- l9 [$ |& ]3 ?
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……