《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
' e, f) }+ t+ {* l5 pWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
+ L& y# {# X' rHolmes: I just picked it up.
- d+ K" N7 O! x) KWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
( K$ Y% o& D# A) ~' NHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
% A+ h$ g( z1 M# p: C( S4 xWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）* D9 ]; u8 }- r9 K6 R
Holmes: You did.* z6 i" O  I8 Q- x/ K
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
; V" ~. O! R* `! i) S9 nHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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( Q: o) }# F* t. v' z宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。6 t: ^: ?, G9 L$ I9 ?. d
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
+ C# b3 O6 l4 f2 Q' t3 r$ E1 o0 @Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
9 R6 \! ]- K* D$ s( @Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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' u) @4 T! ]6 g. X$ ~; y0 h* T拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。& X2 y* X7 S  @# K% h# k
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。& F0 n9 d! ]5 q& @8 [
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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! |2 U/ q5 ?% D, _Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
& w# ^5 i: b3 h( ^; t4 Z2 I6 l4 F（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
" a% \9 u0 z. r, ]Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?2 R; W4 G* c+ ^8 b/ T3 z+ I8 q+ a
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）6 _' d; [+ d2 ^$ V) b
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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/ H: v" G) x2 @7 W" q2 l" dIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。  l: l5 e( V; u7 l$ o* ~, {% z
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
0 I0 ^* B* F5 P& BWatson: Get that out of my face.( y  s! @. O7 o  e5 o1 u
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.( x  V! E* \# a9 i; B
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.) V+ w7 _( c0 A0 f' H+ _5 F# G
路人警官Clarky上场。
6 u6 D8 r% L6 V$ S. P7 DClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
  Q, W/ C! M( m& x, @, Z4 gHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）2 D: L! V  Q' [! w. U" R5 C( {6 H) J! X
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
! f+ H9 U% U1 r- O8 m$ V6 aWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
6 a: Y  P& H; T; R  iHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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5 A2 h1 `  [( u6 E8 j' U, L墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。8 V% t* L& p5 U
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
7 Z4 n% x3 {+ x. p& GHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.% Q. Q3 J, f  F+ k
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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) Q  ~. L7 M( u1 q4 E+ ~; D! C河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
0 f+ U- ~5 a& f: ^* ?' aHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
1 U8 ]+ `7 x0 {: z) ^4 E6 S% u: U) F' EBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
! A. z8 j2 T7 F) p# M" M* BWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
) h$ C% d& T2 `/ ?9 v+ Q死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
5 e; ]$ [$ A: C2 uHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
' u7 s( i7 `+ W$ l+ C$ ]; ?后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
" B+ b2 X( F1 u, z9 \9 j  l9 RHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）- D$ \. r& k! h/ b# C. Z- e
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+ j% M6 M! M( L% X5 W3 M警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。5 c! h# b5 i$ C! d. @
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing." n# P4 N7 F/ \1 z( v. x4 Y
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$ [" `8 U. k/ d( c8 j1 }( r接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
, I7 T8 F' H' i9 H. B, S7 @话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
" A4 P, G6 s+ {Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）, l$ F7 W; D$ M1 V9 v7 J4 M% ]
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）' ~  e7 u9 F4 \) Y
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
. t- a% t% h  eMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
& s* c2 }% G$ G4 o) V: B; @' oWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）! z3 h0 p2 R. N5 w& y+ C
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
6 w7 K$ Q3 e4 X9 J7 d9 p5 VWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）6 W% o" G5 T' y: x. W  g3 |! ~1 m
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）" w* j8 y. i  J- R
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）* {& {* r0 M! }  s6 d% r$ }* f
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）6 O& _- e2 ?  L
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……