 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
6 H2 K$ L+ [' V3 R$ [4 k9 @5 XWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
( [- R5 _( v( [Holmes: I just picked it up.
- }, I2 ^2 W% ~; X9 TWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
& h4 [& E* k( @/ |# e% yHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
. M6 ?) @4 S; O+ d5 ^Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
! H3 @% m/ `( _Holmes: You did.
: k/ b9 ]6 d5 m/ `+ Y(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
: P6 \. M- T3 u: tHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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5 O& o) f& B4 N宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
: u9 e: d7 R! [5 O! ~: |4 J( kWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
) D: [$ P8 f( K* eHolmes: Granted.
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) p- y7 q# N7 x+ S2 L. S( V晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 : `9 p! i- q1 E: M( v
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 5 n3 U' f$ ], T* s, F# T
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 ! R$ ]' Y4 P+ T" n
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 ' h0 }3 b P4 l" A
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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; U6 x) o- ]% c/ GHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 k# `: N% @3 _) s. @" n' z9 g
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 " F& h9 F( a5 y
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1 l9 i6 r) y6 m5 xIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
: J' Y2 ?9 ?3 Y: l( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 8 L9 c* {+ `0 z8 G8 Z" B) H
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?- p) }/ x. F: ]' h" O! D
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 1 F9 x5 M1 l+ Q" F. u
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.$ D' D( b C$ K2 E" w
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* g2 N" U+ ~6 M) T% t! vIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
' x8 U W8 o' IHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
1 }5 _7 ]% X$ {( |Watson: Get that out of my face.
8 v+ G- Q% g4 hHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
+ G% F) }/ _/ T! HWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.7 l# U: a6 F8 }
路人警官 Clarky上场。
v' d* u- Y* T: R) V. e' `% vClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
2 s- K; ]) {+ w% J G4 U/ z/ L3 eHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
, A4 | A# g4 j得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
: z( z; g {$ U% A; ?; eWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?+ _6 D( q& S1 h, c# `- J
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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; [9 R8 a, P) K7 O7 w墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 ; ~5 t% X" _( w, l4 Z
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
. H- a* S4 H0 R* [0 kHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
. z& I0 ?6 X3 l! ~8 j& v) M7 fWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) - H9 y$ f9 v0 w: R8 Y. Q
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. D/ f9 R, \2 C& D- R) G河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
4 E& l/ }: p; X i& F, DHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 1 ~9 K5 L% l( }1 o* |2 W8 K; b3 E
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…% ~- K) S8 N- G! T. j
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) . v. \1 W! y; ~ F u. l. G) L f
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
0 z$ G1 P4 y1 @8 |3 {Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
- C( f1 S; T" Q& z1 n7 |$ i后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 }% E& V$ V3 H$ f
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) * G) x+ ]1 @ J l0 V! ^ P* o
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 : b7 W$ `& D7 h0 A! B+ |5 n9 H
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
/ \, Z: g/ R6 v话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 ! \ s/ D- w" Z+ [5 k( m$ t
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) % P8 K, m+ u0 b- W+ b& ?7 S& P
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) ' C% X9 o' R) t+ _! P4 A
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) ( h0 d+ @" ~) I I; R0 ^
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?5 x5 O5 w( C9 S
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) 8 N6 c! D& B, o
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
3 w4 ~+ P, ?: R. vWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
( ]4 c( P( X6 b) ZHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
3 C! I3 O5 q3 _( \) `4 B+ w/ d( p; ZWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
} `. W; e6 g% |# {Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
) H' b" X3 \$ Q9 A! X S3 ^1 k( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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* s5 K+ t: o1 v5 u0 r% r2 V0 H总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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