《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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4 O1 q1 e4 ]7 {4 E6 l( N$ M影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。* Q; g; Q& u5 a2 X
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
4 l! ]6 p# B( y+ y: Q  `0 d3 RHolmes: I just picked it up.
7 v% i: Q% M4 U3 h7 Y) wWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）) t: |" o+ C0 a5 E, H) \% U
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.. M1 M- Y! j) K* t7 [: c! e
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）- M$ H8 B# Q  `/ a
Holmes: You did.% I& e$ V+ ^+ T% q' `  K+ P
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
" L. G8 M* r: T8 K1 l  tHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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) I+ t  g1 T% g6 w宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。! Z1 J; V8 L- I- Q
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
' Q& M+ t: F0 t6 J& XHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
$ W5 I5 s; V$ x, p1 b  O1 q1 ~8 QWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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/ ~2 m; \& w$ g% z$ \5 `拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
$ i( Z/ w5 A) {5 n1 h0 i! \Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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) Z" p1 b. ]- j$ Z! m, }7 k+ Q8 jBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
; n1 t2 _5 v) W7 T（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）$ b2 Z" h: z. D: k5 e
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
: W* {( O9 d! Y. s: lHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）( x, I4 K0 @& k2 G9 V( K! a
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。% N) u# D/ b. ~
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）  m1 P. E" T9 W" Y
Watson: Get that out of my face.
0 [. V7 s  l& v6 ^% u7 w+ `Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand./ Q, Q) y- I, d! p) G- V4 _# s
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
0 H7 |9 j3 l) g路人警官Clarky上场。
. b* Y: |! s" f: s9 _Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.7 l: |" X3 {% W2 P$ i
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）8 W0 @( O. Y" m/ A6 G* p7 H/ D
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。2 h- Q  b: ?: B9 f, H: F5 L% g
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?2 r. \% L# @* I- o5 `* n1 \8 u
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。2 [; x/ M2 b" t9 Z) m1 X& @
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）7 L3 Z: J0 P4 B7 f7 n; ~% Z' z8 T
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.; D+ d8 W& e5 {" g, C; v
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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& N6 Y8 f+ d1 X" v河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
3 u2 V+ i) N4 o. O, lHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）5 l, d) e, h! M" N: x  c
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
8 x* @0 [# I& V; T5 N; kWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）/ `4 z+ P. h: D& S- d# E6 E7 y
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。+ D4 D/ G5 _0 P$ J; r: \# x
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）, q' f3 v4 D7 m* q6 N: w5 f& v  P
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。/ _' R7 \+ G# \! }+ V
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）7 N) z  }( a6 V5 z8 h- t- |2 Q
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( C8 v. [& {4 o! h! I警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。' g3 r% O+ }2 n7 g5 R+ K% Y
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.5 `! m4 V6 F% Y
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* j4 ^. w" e& O7 M6 g接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
8 {3 a  S( d- {/ o3 U话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。6 i& T3 F6 O: ~' y
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）" A( J& J) k8 q: _% D$ t  B# A0 R
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）1 D: Z8 `- T! T2 Z, J
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
: ?  {( a# I0 _0 H5 d5 l- gMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
: H$ r6 f! ~2 nWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）# X% F6 n5 M! E0 K
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
, a8 Y# w& Y( U4 ^8 ^% SWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）, T$ Y: ~) a# G2 G
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）+ N1 g5 M! C, S2 a( [" o
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
; }1 Q2 v1 q) D( \: a0 t" M$ [# \Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）2 u  q# R0 [- C( K, d
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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) |  H4 B* V( n5 h( D" e& R8 `总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……