《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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! B4 z! x8 n3 z: Y影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。0 H% x9 p4 P/ i* v0 H7 ]
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
9 R' X3 N. N+ ?' H$ z# ]0 l/ \& FHolmes: I just picked it up.3 P, o7 \* i" c. h& P
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）- ^) _2 V/ |( Z/ M* f+ N2 w# A& u
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
4 x; W, w$ G% V/ G  zWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
5 x8 e+ y% b. j( K" k- F3 fHolmes: You did.
' t% j: x7 q8 J2 l  t" t（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）4 v, s0 E* ?# w, L
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.# O) N! D2 _5 m. e
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+ O: ^3 \7 D7 o# m4 P% C宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。" `( P  e+ |8 N
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
7 `/ d8 P2 o4 W0 i! _- ~Holmes: Granted.7 H+ U; h2 L7 K! I" P4 {1 U0 B
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
6 a( E6 D" t' A" x3 s' ~Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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5 X; z7 p( l* @3 LWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
* c* B- h0 N/ v: p. H6 IWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）1 R3 T( ?% Z  l+ \2 v& y) H
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。9 U+ l9 U* u- B
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9 T2 g! d# L5 u3 wBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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( k) i, G2 r! l2 ?3 k, MIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。5 f  c' L. q, D+ e' m5 l% q
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）' z( x2 \2 R0 }" d; T# f# ?: H- ^* W
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
4 C' o5 e+ j' R/ C" UHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
% o* K5 @& c- E0 T! G7 n# UIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.: O; r5 {3 C% r5 _5 k7 O1 a
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
+ Z7 V8 M+ d- O. X) \2 B% HHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
1 C8 N+ ?2 b; i& _! X) O2 OWatson: Get that out of my face.4 j6 b9 a' V9 z# |- N
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.. {+ z9 a$ N9 C' B$ @
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
$ O' g# T- f& I. H4 ]- z" A8 D; ], N0 A/ N路人警官Clarky上场。% b! i0 y! [1 O$ X2 E
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.$ V' C2 c; |" b* c
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）! N( b0 L9 R( U6 h! `5 _
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
' w3 F/ Y& O4 E( @0 pWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?+ a' a/ F8 m: |9 t- e# Q
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.. V0 g5 c  J3 Z( C* @# o* Q* [
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
' A& T7 V7 E# p8 r! O. N（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）% L$ D  T- d3 z& L
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
# B: O6 h! c% g+ EWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）/ O( m5 a( L1 s* ?0 a4 m, @
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
3 ^+ y+ q1 l# t$ A% [& v) ~' PHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）* W% y0 x5 u  t/ r" T
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
6 V3 K! o- M# h' x8 r) T) SWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）3 X- V4 y1 l2 ]: i
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
* h( O' w7 h" \/ D: R6 P( BHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）8 X$ u4 @. a+ p2 C7 k( J
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。5 h; a9 Q6 W8 V3 g/ ]
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）6 s8 l8 w* `' s% n4 G1 x- |; P8 [3 i" g
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7 u7 l! ^1 C5 q警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。" D/ ]( ?7 p) T7 r: s
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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+ c0 ]% l# B' g+ U' B接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。  S6 i0 f1 x% j* l
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
7 X% ~( {0 y9 {6 t, g. X6 iHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
' b( Z, B' n/ CWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）+ ?' L% c/ p# k1 k& B9 H, T; [. c
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
6 @( O) x4 M" s4 ^4 T, _Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
2 P! ~/ K8 h, C) ^  v! CWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）& E# t6 @) {- ?' {2 c2 L, p
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）" n# d# {" `$ S  O$ P" G+ K
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）1 n* R% b9 r9 l
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）4 V! h3 m8 n( D2 b+ C- D; K3 W
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）% T8 u/ E9 ^' a8 x' o# M! N
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）7 i$ f3 H6 g) f$ y9 ^$ D
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……