《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。9 {7 Y- d: R( `7 T
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
/ d* k0 O3 f9 I' T( B/ X4 mWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）' k+ @/ k8 N# U" w- m
Holmes: I just picked it up.4 z$ P6 V: d9 J1 ~6 ~
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
& A- ?& T5 ^0 ?! `$ w2 q  q6 XHolmes: Knew I forgot something.% w1 i' B* x$ v( f
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
4 Y( A3 c- B% {! \$ sHolmes: You did.
- \3 @3 |3 [' A# [! x（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）9 V6 [4 @, a7 i: I6 J4 m" b
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
5 W1 ], k* \6 O1 `5 V$ [Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
, l2 q( o1 Y, f2 q; J4 I0 t4 UHolmes: Granted.  Z% l8 d0 s4 a. L0 G* b
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' g9 u, K0 d  f" m' M) `* G晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。' h% j, F: _/ A/ \
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。3 ]& K1 g3 d. g4 _, k
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# c2 [4 ]4 d$ g  ]& S- g; KWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
- B/ ~( b% P# G$ e$ v- ~Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）' C/ g9 ]) _8 C7 l  G# G( h0 W
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。3 i# `; z$ B: V
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( t" w: @. m! x' ]4 _& wBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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7 c3 S6 _4 F. W4 R; |. O- `  rIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。- Z% B0 F/ @( i; b
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
; Y& O7 i  V: J+ \6 wIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
$ o% H: b* h! X* bHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）# H" \  i+ T8 T* |3 D+ n( p7 Y3 e
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.! w/ s9 U2 n, ~. T
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
5 X, o9 }, z% G% R5 nHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
' j6 H3 V% [  qWatson: Get that out of my face.  J8 D) v% N& D
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
' Q3 b+ z& V+ R- I& I- G0 V0 w4 Q7 RWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
* K2 ~. ~" ]' E4 x/ w路人警官Clarky上场。! T) {! @. R8 T: F2 d$ w
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.1 K4 `) f3 v7 n
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
4 A2 ~) k+ b: a& P6 D得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
2 b6 Q. Z3 b& T1 R9 GWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?; D: Z/ O5 G. `: h; k# b3 L
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
! q% N2 g# d/ t1 e（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）& o2 {. h0 X8 ^; i- N
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
3 F( r3 x7 T6 u/ i: U1 [6 UWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）3 ?: f4 P8 u& o6 Y
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
% }8 o" a( Z, XHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
4 G' H) X% x$ P' S1 t/ nBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…3 d/ z- I( K& P* Y& ~
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）* R7 `3 p  T/ D$ E% e) a) h: x0 R
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。7 n* N1 q, H8 G7 K
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）: u1 d; X! c- m0 p
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。" C5 v# z/ t* T( S4 u/ X
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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6 r- l+ `5 N1 o4 J$ }7 N+ Q; S警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
) N1 n$ P1 l0 |. e  kLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.9 Y, A; {; R5 z* n- q# p6 y
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# f, T" H+ G. h( L: G接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
  H* c+ g: F( R5 s# P1 ~' T话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
. R3 m4 _: g! `$ H/ {: q9 f$ ~3 @  j6 g; XHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）7 _- o( Z* g5 R: k. z2 z
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）$ [! v/ ^+ r+ e5 O3 h  t
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）$ Z# x7 ]" ?& V
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
% s+ a5 a* ^1 F6 }2 mWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）; h2 V9 x1 z" m2 p0 _  D( k
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
5 f4 V# c! E3 y0 dWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
  C" E$ G8 I* B: O& X1 gHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
: h& j  C% e3 S9 U# w% cWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）" a$ {, N+ D1 J, ~. [
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
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* V, {+ [7 H& w, S总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……