《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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/ p5 I8 t( H1 y& h1 Q影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。9 c+ u, ]5 r, `, S0 w+ Z
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）8 I& W/ K3 t: D7 e
Holmes: I just picked it up.4 y* H& |3 q! H# r: I( M
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）) a7 F1 H% K, ^3 H$ b1 `! p
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
& s2 ~+ l9 C) o: |5 VWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）0 p7 x) _, L. K. I5 r( ?' a1 F$ d' O
Holmes: You did.! n- p, O- e) a7 ]. A
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）* P) T+ m& p4 l3 n& z
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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0 _# u5 E# f) `, i' P9 y宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。- I  z! j9 L: M. U- M
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.+ V( ]( o$ t/ h2 j; N: D
Holmes: Granted.2 j& m6 O5 Q0 l. `0 N9 g7 c2 V
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
4 O( L/ J, w# h; i" h" UWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）* r' }# o. m0 }& }$ n
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。! ^) S" a, ^. g8 U
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( ~6 Y# X" B* [1 dWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
* i& a" i% Z9 |) T) ~. kWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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' v4 @) }9 D' L6 |Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。6 N3 {" I% ~' H+ G+ R% ?
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。" a" y; U; t1 L, ~) l- l9 I
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。' B! h  g2 ~5 K. Z* Y
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）7 P4 L9 s  E/ ]& u0 @3 H+ ?
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?0 |! H! N  L* V* ~8 }& F6 i( A3 C
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）" e; p3 T- S" c/ t0 p
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。0 s) f. k2 B8 [3 {; h$ y, q0 c- x
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）1 l4 I9 k/ Y7 `0 h. Z; F
Watson: Get that out of my face.
! q, i1 b5 `4 k* Z" n& dHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.2 V9 D) U0 z5 H) Z) I5 E
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.& }% m6 W9 p2 T) U# U, [
路人警官Clarky上场。6 g3 b1 h( L4 U- ~) u$ F
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.. T, W: L9 }5 ^' d
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
" e( V6 m7 i- O& Z) e得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。. p6 N$ I% h) a( G3 u2 E7 Q
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
- P$ `0 Q( {, B% \- A; [. U( jHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.- U" Q( h8 E) y# J+ m
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
" L# U/ L0 t" J. C) W; W4 q8 ?2 g（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
% |! J' v/ v8 n9 X! O8 U* I& Y& H, RHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
9 q- I. s4 {$ C/ @/ I8 o$ n2 I0 M7 iWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）( D  Q8 M5 n' O7 k
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
+ U- ~, X5 C& k: r6 Y* o8 g! k9 lHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）6 h6 q  d6 a5 F- m
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…/ B# z! _9 q& S6 J7 }% P/ m- K% A
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
, M: A$ z3 g0 C  v& ?( \死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。5 P9 K1 H: f5 R4 a1 M) h$ U2 O
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
& M" X! V3 M( d0 N后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
! @: t8 a$ o6 T$ [& NHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）! }4 Y/ ?. w7 F9 u) D7 B9 o
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, [: I7 @4 K! V* [2 s警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。0 M8 e/ N" ]0 F2 P5 n+ d
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。$ m( x5 G) |9 v
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。0 |- E' b3 i: _; L  Y
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）) }! _5 e$ d5 h+ S+ _
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
# r" h4 ]9 L8 r- v6 v& vHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
1 A& @5 x: s5 i4 d9 w) w- KMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
3 Z8 x; }5 K- a: Y) wWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
9 N- A8 i/ v4 y: [# N' y8 R. DHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
- @+ Q6 X' c5 C' K' h% c* f0 j6 @Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）4 o! s9 \$ E0 E+ J/ k
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
" x, @6 T* E$ H( HWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）* T+ ?; @* C0 D! u: M" y6 c7 K
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
& ?6 u9 K5 d; D6 g（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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2 F& u) |! t- p) l  C% `0 {总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……