《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。7 c' L/ L$ L3 r2 W7 i
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
' ^( V1 n2 z4 f1 K, R/ [- q/ gHolmes: I just picked it up.3 g$ a1 q! c# \# F
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）9 z+ [5 i4 M- U- ?# J" c
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
3 |+ D+ w% S$ Y2 \Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）* v, c& Q. G, b, _4 y: g: N
Holmes: You did.% O- j7 a) D0 [
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
% v1 t8 M+ j4 X' KHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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5 k+ q: w5 v+ Q0 J$ `' f! F( z宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
/ f! C# i% X' P2 ?+ O" V7 [+ xWatson: Permission to enter the armory.9 L! F9 o4 Z' C* `0 }
Holmes: Granted." ^, d0 e+ X% P7 q/ m- }$ C
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- e9 X- D- F0 H. c/ C晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。0 B) H% o2 C5 o- F3 l7 \
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）7 ?6 e+ p8 \+ p( p/ F1 H( p
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7 m8 x3 a1 x+ \" m* j5 J4 t拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。2 i+ G. o0 B* ^6 n
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
; H$ j. c; p1 _" ?! d7 AWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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$ J' c$ q' q( h8 h3 qHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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; x: U7 R  K5 ^- y( D. RIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。' L. z. R3 r$ h- m6 B
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）$ Q4 `. Z7 z3 a& O
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?( L- Y3 |* V: \- v" e" U! T& j
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）+ i/ w& F  [  B. f6 f8 s+ R( y
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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# _* B) C$ i& c  p- PIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
9 `$ k, {( I6 P# OHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
/ `/ \: B% h1 JWatson: Get that out of my face.# j2 ^8 O. p1 a: F
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.) k1 f; }7 u/ T! H) ~9 e, \
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.+ [; h4 M8 d) q' W
路人警官Clarky上场。
' A8 e5 ~5 F3 uClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.6 c4 G2 r+ s( f$ P
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
6 Y. y7 o" h2 U& u* H% x得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
6 X: v- m. J5 m1 J, cWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?/ [$ f# R  Z* ~, k
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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3 D) @+ ^/ j) T9 h墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。# K2 S  i1 ~" W, s8 a8 t
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
: ^$ e% |3 p: b" DHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.* k( g1 f# B9 M" F# b5 \
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）4 r4 H( n; H# w8 |+ G: \# ^
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。9 |: F* F# p( A+ y
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）; m+ G/ q( q) Z) _, k+ \
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…( |- D; X) [7 C/ g9 a2 n& l
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）+ B. A: l" m( ], [& ?& h
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
- S0 d" d1 ^( G8 q! IHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
7 d$ o! H" O' i9 l# i8 m后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。' E* n! ?) {. d$ l6 y" K
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
* i$ c  Z  H- F5 @0 I4 |" A4 V" {Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.5 X* p5 I8 p. W/ @
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1 z4 G0 [% F) Z- G接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。) L. W3 x; T! x& R
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。0 ?9 A. i, f8 B- b5 H+ O3 |7 Y
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
# W5 x( p* T1 l8 PWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
5 g- X1 j) t6 ~' b$ o" o7 o# I+ o% bHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
: m' P. x! ~) D# kMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
4 _1 V/ L9 O. U& ]Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）! e9 `2 {' z8 d+ e0 V
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
: F- q+ [; s+ S2 ?, Q5 L& cWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）0 I! U5 H. x8 N, v5 l+ s
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）9 k6 y) e7 F2 \# j0 ^, [% Y+ L, ?
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）3 f$ Y  j7 K  V. T
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
( }' G0 A; k" A0 j; q（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）, @5 V# X$ M, H% d8 B1 [
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……