《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。5 K7 j+ M4 h1 D, f
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。, H( Y  N7 C: @( m! y5 l5 f+ ~% q
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）' \- m8 ~" x6 `
Holmes: I just picked it up.: r# p# O2 I3 ~: X, ~) ^
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
3 Q9 Y$ E" |6 j$ SHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
( Z+ A( p  N6 K4 o% A3 Q4 JWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）) h# P0 r3 X; P( f, q
Holmes: You did.- y6 I! d9 o% @7 [3 U" B
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
( S8 o2 `, U' n5 XHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
6 T3 B' [. i" U/ `( K, f8 y: }3 uWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
4 w9 f) t, Y9 `' E1 Y+ MHolmes: Granted., p. d1 k; C, t+ N3 q
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2 T1 j& `+ ]7 T/ D; O! L  q) P1 Y晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。* ]5 ?9 L8 N  h. i" Z. M7 i
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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$ M  s/ I9 I3 L- ^拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。# V* x: G8 e8 {1 H- {
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）1 N5 P- u7 M5 P: }4 `2 ~3 V/ o3 a; V
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. z5 l! [4 s" a( V- s$ mHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。+ @$ P# Z) O  w
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
, [" a; T) T: s（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）$ F0 x! V* Y; q) O0 I3 a
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
$ i$ n2 E, u4 g; z& }Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
/ U4 @7 E0 F$ k0 N# ~Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.; I" S1 n8 J2 p/ A' T
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
% q. e$ Q( r( LHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）6 M& ^4 i4 P. h2 p" R1 o" G
Watson: Get that out of my face.* g! N# K2 F0 F) a
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.1 a. j0 g! i$ ^0 p. V3 o1 b
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
# m, N  _3 a; Q2 ]: I) w' [5 c7 T9 x路人警官Clarky上场。2 R5 w# L* _7 C$ H
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.  B- U# l$ X% ^0 h3 m2 J
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
8 m+ {3 P( c  O& C得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。" v, i" z# q3 ?/ G7 J
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
3 b5 T& {' }+ ^0 U5 XHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.. }# R+ ~3 i% u  O
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
; m5 F8 R6 E' C" |; T（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）$ q/ T' o$ U1 C. d1 Y
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
5 s3 [/ Q1 P, C# n! bWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）$ ]1 x% d% J) F! O% v6 Y3 L
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
7 c& _- B. G6 {5 t  QHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
2 A& F9 U7 f% E. N% o0 Q, }Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…$ O  z4 O( E- j7 m) x, n1 B" j5 ]8 P
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）& W* G: ^3 e' i3 A
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。2 e, H9 K7 e5 I3 C& v, C- t7 k% ]
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）) {# Q# ~* _/ I' m1 H: ~0 l6 s
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。' |8 P. Q% F" H. v
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）) P* z3 e/ L/ \
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
! o7 G( [0 S) ZLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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+ s- [8 \* M- E% u% ?1 {接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。8 }) h! M/ d$ G9 f) T: l" m9 i
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
1 [; b# G. \7 s  `! zHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）! s9 E) ^+ ]1 h' C* |
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）# G* d  M) b& a1 O0 z6 X
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
( h% U5 q) W  w+ U0 c4 kMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?% K% P) Q* q/ i( W* k+ O! C
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
/ T5 [: e# I- F5 n+ v4 ZHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）: v, K- g( Z& i+ |. R
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
4 o3 q- f. |6 ~5 \6 C* qHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
6 \+ I% v0 ?# J3 H0 m! OWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）9 |/ K: g0 D2 V0 y
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）# N  _, ^' J/ O6 b& n
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……