《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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8 a- R* ^+ g- c! E7 U影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。* m, O! H  d" b# G+ N: r, ^
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）& j  y" ^# o5 r% y+ G
Holmes: I just picked it up./ d* C  q" p5 ~) f
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）& h0 S# g1 S0 }' X  ]1 j
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
( y0 o  u; s- T0 @2 M7 pWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）) ~0 _2 w" \* C0 z0 z
Holmes: You did.
* a7 h: E0 s( O, U8 w0 n（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
5 ^. o2 h- Z  S5 G9 cHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.( W% `  y. m. Q
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' T: v2 Q2 T1 v  ]5 b$ \. z8 U宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
' q0 |; F# P* eWatson: Permission to enter the armory.' i+ H2 [+ d; [- ^9 x! h$ b: Q6 t- U2 }
Holmes: Granted.: S" V  `7 G$ w; ~8 Y2 d
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; o! m- |6 s' u1 v) L; ^晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。$ v$ L/ N) z! ~8 ?
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）* _6 d. j+ l) k- [! M8 n
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
3 z* V$ K. {; A1 Q$ {1 ~Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）6 w; t/ w0 g. V. e
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; _  [. N: `2 u! y5 o( WHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。. @9 U* w+ X% w) N& T- p% ~
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。$ W# |8 T' X# m  `: f6 @( \5 v6 ]! R- c
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
7 `3 G/ w% D. M/ h5 MIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
: f0 b  j2 z0 X5 X8 c/ BHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
0 ~5 S" }! P$ G$ L. A/ b- kIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.4 i0 K* J4 Y- O& H4 s" A1 p
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6 m9 b6 R, V. bIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。: D  s+ s- m4 F* R5 u: C
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
4 _& a/ ^$ S& G. _# W! O3 D+ ~. h9 b" ]Watson: Get that out of my face.# I9 r+ S0 D5 Q% r
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
( W4 }3 X4 ]7 C% y  u0 ZWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
& H/ H5 h+ P! c8 \路人警官Clarky上场。
( x$ ?$ j- o& x# r+ Q* @, T% xClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
0 ~. u: X  c! d8 `. e3 GHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）8 x1 M- X7 @7 {: F9 s& E* g
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。# j: H1 C: P- m8 P
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?6 B, e# n$ N# i' f' o2 m6 [
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。- I6 U$ z. j5 ]4 e# I0 Q. I$ j# O
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）# v' g/ j1 A$ j  s) o
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
" J$ O' @! L$ j$ N: ]: Q" j) OWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）/ w0 ~! v7 E6 P0 f4 s( N
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8 b9 C, k! s9 f, H4 g河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
7 Z- L9 s+ `0 JHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）# M+ Z& E) q/ J
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…! g' D' E% ?4 E& J
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）/ N/ j) [: J1 N$ ]' o/ q
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。: w  a  a( ~: _9 }1 Y
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）' R8 w3 f  L* k: t2 p
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
0 S- Y% y' h9 S: I; J* l; GHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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: W) t2 m5 a. T6 u' z$ T警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。4 r& p/ F: V* Q! a, Z% S+ j/ B
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.9 L) s0 F1 v8 E' l8 ]
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。  \3 w* I# z  P( Z# I
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
: j, B3 X9 x) h) s& G7 pHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）7 j$ G4 k; i/ `3 O9 H
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
6 o/ k5 @+ Y/ ?/ L. q8 nHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）3 O# [/ s- T" c% K4 p
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?# K) I6 \: H( r+ Z
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
. y* w! L+ B- o2 N3 Q8 J; E" kHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）3 z3 f0 t8 w' R9 i8 a- V3 ~7 o& Y, V
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）% j' l1 X( i9 O# I6 l
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）# f( ~' ?% m1 l2 k" K& r
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
, D, W# d' X% }3 N; r6 k; |Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）% R+ f3 T3 b. J; N( S, t
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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7 B9 P/ y' Y. D# \# I总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……