《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。# h+ ^" O) K# R' \2 D5 }4 S" T
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: C% r4 t% ^- x. M% Y影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
9 |  x/ r" u/ Q9 W4 g; IWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
+ g% N/ S: {. e6 {! C) o9 D, {Holmes: I just picked it up.1 q$ ?7 r0 z4 c9 R3 o
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）% _: M( ~5 o' I; G- |# ~0 U" f
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.: A9 w# Z& S& b5 E/ o5 x
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）' R  R+ W, t( N# p# Q
Holmes: You did.* a4 L  i5 N- Y
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）. n3 _4 a& L; ~& P( q) h
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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* @5 j+ I" F$ Y宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
: o0 F9 z6 l' D3 J4 VWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
) z* d4 a& \( C* ~Holmes: Granted.- G1 {* S: G2 m8 B1 W
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$ _: T4 w0 R8 l1 o9 }晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
( w1 C# q: R1 c1 C( ^7 hWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）+ T5 t% D, G- L0 X! X- s- x3 o' T
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。& v3 D  z" }% }+ ?& N
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9 R/ S/ u8 t- B5 sWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
7 `4 ^+ b& m, c" E' s) NWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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2 x: d" _! _. H! XBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。+ G0 a4 ]0 y0 N, L: O
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
; S- F) F0 a. j7 v* {  e; lIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?+ a5 O$ ?7 j- k9 e  p" j: `
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
; K! A( y5 d/ E  QIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。4 i! ?5 H+ a) e0 e1 E
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）; d& B; x6 H; v' |8 }+ x
Watson: Get that out of my face.
3 v" K3 k2 N3 e2 I( x! W5 LHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.3 X* [$ \& H! y
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.; j& B; B) `# c8 K- J
路人警官Clarky上场。) @6 ?# C: ^, q
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
# D& d; y! H& V- J3 @$ _6 oHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）6 {3 r; X5 }/ N9 ?7 f0 E' t
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。* U2 O! n3 E1 l% B. g  k' V+ ]. Y
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?, U! ?% \5 |# k7 h" m2 A8 |' h
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.: a/ T7 y% j/ g5 N4 T
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; {9 }; y9 Z2 Y& j4 m& ^$ S墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。7 k2 |8 N) Q; j/ p& U2 f1 |
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）2 w( B3 A/ }! a$ Z
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.6 s7 ?% C7 Y7 q5 E- o
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。5 P1 s: l9 k8 Z  J/ o# }. z6 v
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）! {" h) p* ~. E1 G# i6 L5 A$ P
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…% h) x+ X& T0 {4 b
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）2 C( i% R. M( H/ z' ^8 E3 i
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。+ n' Z  s  m5 {- s0 T! \5 \8 ^8 l2 M
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）3 A# o2 K7 f5 p+ s
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
! E8 R/ N, S. [2 w6 D" X& SHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
  {6 g6 I% X$ ~$ G9 DLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.+ }) S8 X/ [2 u3 n' K" M- ?' C
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) E: @& K0 u6 J6 @接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
) N, z- i  h6 [话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
  G6 [) B  q3 P2 S1 E; ?  b$ IHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
0 \+ h# B# \  F- ^Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
1 z2 \* F/ Q" s; b& Q0 w, K- |, nHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
3 V" ~5 J6 e# v3 j: TMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
9 K% _- _: m3 g9 ^$ d, tWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）) B  B& C) e3 {
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
* [, J6 Y7 Z6 N! YWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
; a  [9 e" m# iHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
& B/ u; c' ~* Y( p9 _5 e! \4 HWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）* n2 m, p2 v6 n8 f: Z% X
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）6 e8 l1 y2 p4 B2 J
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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5 R* k3 Y6 b9 N" J5 d. A3 |# a; M# o总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……