《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
# D  b5 y0 @# y' [& ~Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
9 P  t4 X1 ?% y4 S+ Y8 s, zHolmes: I just picked it up./ X: `* L& s" W* I# e+ D5 [6 Q
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
: Y  b$ ~$ U- p! EHolmes: Knew I forgot something.9 W) m+ q0 R. K+ w
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
- t  Q) B8 U; x. e) f2 x0 L7 ^Holmes: You did.
8 o" Z9 C9 W; _/ I4 ?1 s2 i0 l0 x7 d（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）1 h, T: L; H9 ]6 T
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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: s! ^  A" x0 p/ [, A: ?" M7 O宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。; V. H8 H5 q; a1 A
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.' u( t' e6 ^( g- ]! x# x0 E
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
3 a8 u7 d; K8 s, eWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。8 l  o: C; v; v+ N$ V
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! N. r% v% w& e: D+ NWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。7 r: g" M( \/ n! R2 e+ O
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）6 n. F* o$ f1 U8 w( V1 @
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; F: @3 R7 t, G- s7 CHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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& o+ v( J. v( z/ mBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。! v9 ?" R4 G' h! z3 X: O
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) _' T7 D- ^  h! F. PIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
6 {% E0 e' M& @, Q9 G' r" \（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
- C1 V, C0 f3 i* x) EIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?* A; s! N& k: C) u/ C. m
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）- F, I) @3 f- `- J8 |- L
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.8 s, ^/ b* U' D0 l, h
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1 J, z+ a9 U- o- ?9 x5 N8 o- hIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
$ C6 K# A7 b! zHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
# X; q+ C0 _# j( CWatson: Get that out of my face.
$ y8 C+ `/ _5 b* PHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
' ~- q) I2 B$ k% ^Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
4 }) ~" R2 r* W6 {- f* q. J路人警官Clarky上场。
9 n: B5 s9 b- X" S4 t/ ^7 @* @' |Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
& x/ v# o2 I' h" y/ v1 THolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
- q1 i- @- P  ~  E1 J得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
2 u6 C( U* c. `, _1 m% ]Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?) w2 F+ y, v9 P5 k- x
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。" V9 Z! _0 ?! ?
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）% y$ ~. j# w. t7 j' s
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
) k) o4 e; }! i- L) DWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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, ?9 N  J7 ]: A8 C3 s河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
% p+ `& |$ ~- F/ M/ G8 U, p7 f0 jHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）. O6 D, Q( v* s, K0 \: c
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…( o  E; ~1 h- V! ~# H, G
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
) O3 W9 O1 O. l& F死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。6 e+ ]* D; z# Z
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
( T* q) ]% J; m3 b6 I) i6 ^! X后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
9 o" e) L" z9 ~+ S3 H. k0 {Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
0 w0 @* v; f; F! a- ?Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.9 [0 E( S' n6 t  p7 v# T
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5 w( M/ `$ I) Q2 s接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。. f# g: t, P) N& x
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
) F2 d+ ~% y' D2 P8 ]Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）8 _  t, D" L" ~( c- O' D
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
* c% _: Q$ h- Q$ h% i/ {Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
8 ^) v* g) O" W, oMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?4 D$ H& e6 L8 d: @5 x6 ?, n
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
: z3 ^! f1 F6 t3 C1 C/ j  IHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）: r2 f  j8 V. Y
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
* V4 @  D* i8 X. N3 ~: GHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）* w% q6 t8 F" a
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）# q2 ~' O$ o7 {; H
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）, z, y( U2 S- |: ]! ~
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……