《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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: W# M! D" B$ a! [+ B4 L影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。" }3 F4 g& C" C5 E2 e* x- Y
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）) X7 K9 ~6 r" d. \, v2 @
Holmes: I just picked it up.
( e9 {" F" m5 m9 |" B; ^Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）, I4 P) S  C8 y0 \4 s$ o
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
$ P2 P  p& `3 @+ j9 hWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
1 D4 ]/ G4 G$ ^" M0 e0 ]! P  D/ _7 qHolmes: You did.; x2 L) n, c2 S8 D; r( k$ W
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）) V5 h0 |+ U7 B
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.( i( o! j- {7 [/ b" n  z
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
* w& @7 H* F* T$ n( k+ b) P8 iWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
; R- A  \# I2 W# i- X' z$ D* QHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。% X: l4 V  ~% M3 b3 D8 y% O
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。  ~- @% x* M: S9 w( d
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0 o1 {# o  _' [& i' \3 L# wWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
6 h% `1 ]: Z7 I6 ?+ V2 v0 k# dWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）1 i( C5 ]$ O# {; |7 P, r
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  k1 k2 p7 ~2 x" R0 p6 a0 uHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。: E& K1 |( x1 ]8 n' b( q/ w
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。) Y" U1 i% v  O# A
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( |+ q/ P! q' P% j/ B, LIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。0 T9 n+ f4 W" h/ f  f* F2 ^
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）" F: G; @$ {" l5 C7 r& x! {
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?" D9 i  r' t0 Y' D% O
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
+ }) P( D3 t9 a. q2 ]% [6 sIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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6 q& Y6 S: r$ D" @' C8 [Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。# L5 U; V' z! f9 c0 [
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）+ z$ D# ^! Q9 W# _
Watson: Get that out of my face.
$ G1 @: z* Y! [2 N4 C9 DHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.0 T9 O. S4 \  M, K% K
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
! `# }: ]# _5 P- v1 T路人警官Clarky上场。
1 n4 E( u2 v6 @9 Z! zClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
3 [; q/ m& c: K7 s- xHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）! u$ j' O. n0 B$ n% o
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。/ @! t% a4 W7 e
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
8 }1 ?0 i5 h: w  Y1 A' o2 OHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not." E/ H% j: Z3 S3 Z# ~) I
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8 o' u2 j- q3 x; E3 y, z9 x# t! `墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。9 B: @, @; J* @7 t# a5 O
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
$ e) i1 X% ]5 OHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
) A2 ^" s: @6 a; C! O& z1 b  SWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
. v/ b' f! ^6 T, [  \, oHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）8 F" u; B1 G6 Y4 w( J
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
. o% J% c: s/ u: Q3 F! N3 VWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
2 M6 ^1 Q  m4 N$ g3 g6 G& T死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
/ ]& [+ k: b; g' Y& _6 KHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）1 q2 p8 u# G7 e8 H! K, A' Z+ h
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。1 t+ l" o$ W* ?% L
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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/ b1 Q; z+ \- Z$ V# ?警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
. Y/ j: y3 U* c  YLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.: P5 h3 _. R7 p6 ?) n
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4 T+ @% @! Q" V$ j. }接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
: j0 C" @; U+ j4 Q) d7 V话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
- E# Y( @( u$ }9 ^3 `" q: vHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
( l3 S/ T! i3 i/ M, F8 B9 v7 I/ DWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）3 z- i5 y0 p  v& e
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
! @: z, v, h/ ?3 s6 nMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
/ \, t1 }+ J# A" S0 QWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）0 m1 E" U3 V8 ]9 ~  f% ?. X
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
: X! E( V$ C# tWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）" {6 m. ?" H; f6 Y# o, E, d. m0 g
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）3 C' X" d" w; ]1 W5 H% {$ ^% E
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
! g- X* `/ X4 [* x( e1 lMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）$ E% ]5 ~$ w. e7 a- H6 r/ `8 X
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）/ x- |- m2 n; ?' |% }- t: \* u! D
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……