《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。+ p: M& C. P' m# M2 c$ k
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, ?- p) A3 I5 a+ C, Z影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
: p$ D* z; r8 W: f* @" LWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）8 y" H3 Y% \2 L$ U
Holmes: I just picked it up.* O# f( j* H% D7 l
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
* l) K) Y& U7 AHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
. @( p8 E7 |7 b; h/ }; t, i; r) lWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）9 z0 R* q- H! ~: ]# Z
Holmes: You did.
5 g. p& Y% v* }& k  _# y  y（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）8 E5 |8 B( b% f" ~
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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# P7 \, y& L4 V8 j9 ]宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
; l3 |) n) A/ kWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
  }8 ]8 ]5 ^9 V* o8 g' l5 l  @Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
3 K7 N  v2 ?8 B+ G# k' r: B8 LWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）2 u4 w6 O6 g, c+ G8 n' f( R* F
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, l) z5 W  C0 v, n( a拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。* T& z# _5 q+ ]7 I" \( b
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。+ I, K: q! `! z
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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$ H# D, R+ ]9 q. fBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。$ M; C( j3 O5 w% c. q
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/ k8 Y0 p. |* u8 Z% H$ l+ ^Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。9 j- U0 D& t2 j: ^5 P  j5 M
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
$ q1 I1 Z# k! q+ ]% FIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
9 B: L0 p. {, G$ I+ v; iHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）! h" D; l9 u  \3 b" x" U
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope., H* @. h0 d: z5 C; a# _. ~" ~0 N
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, O* C+ _  p. G1 P# QIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。1 l/ ?  V+ \7 b, P6 W3 @+ I
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）4 G- g2 x. j! u$ y$ h
Watson: Get that out of my face.
5 T6 G: T% |) @4 U$ ?: a& y5 G9 m4 nHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.# @: E0 \6 r0 w2 \1 }: u, S1 i
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
* |, m/ D9 l+ H4 b( O3 [* f路人警官Clarky上场。
8 c9 S$ l- e! _6 v/ j3 cClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.- S7 J/ A' E; _" u4 v3 K
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
, p3 B7 i/ Z& o& \. R8 ~, I- h得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
8 s6 F9 m! k7 YWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?) u) V0 t" o5 f  `) F
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.0 o6 C) |  C6 h
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。5 G% ~7 w  x! x. y4 N% U
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
/ g" w+ P, I8 o, Q8 |# A5 [Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
" N; c- o2 _; |) Q0 mWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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' i3 z' f6 ]8 _河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
1 F4 J( T& n9 M, }Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）* `! Y( P$ k" O3 z1 j3 a  K
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…1 z# ^$ G. e! ^9 D( H3 i1 @
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
" w" t$ m8 t9 w- @死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
! F/ n9 c5 C' l9 r4 y3 hHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）' l6 v: g  j+ c0 W% a. V
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。8 i+ U7 \' r0 P$ [2 b8 L" x# P
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。( c) H) P2 f" k
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.; @# j5 V/ T/ T1 R* Y- S; Z: t
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。2 P/ G- w6 z" l/ L# x+ H
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。: U" s! r4 I4 w+ ~
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
2 w& x+ c& u/ R: k1 PWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）& g8 H* P2 \5 i8 x: v+ G
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
3 C/ \& F' W2 f  vMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
* y' F5 b8 P. b% [9 M( B1 d  a) D% ]3 rWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）' `( Z7 m& \6 q" u% n
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）1 D+ R, L. N  I0 N
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）! D. y5 h$ Z5 Y7 k1 ~5 u
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
' M  H7 `1 V* Z$ CWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
5 D" V- z; z/ d) l$ LMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
0 y9 @/ L( H. }2 P. k: g（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）# @. _8 t0 q* O! J6 Y  C3 i
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……