《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。2 {( t7 X; i' X6 B+ @
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
2 {+ X+ o! F$ d$ o" P( V) X& m3 C) G$ OWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
, `/ D, M2 p0 j, q% \Holmes: I just picked it up.
* n5 ~8 g% M: w7 o1 i  wWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
! m& E; I5 u6 Y" E6 q& n3 K" HHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
' \5 m0 K+ S' M: B& f9 `2 mWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）8 h- b4 H) V" }4 n: X& `6 h
Holmes: You did.; d# W" _+ J; E% W: s$ ~, [
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
5 P3 P! K3 h+ j6 i. `5 m; U. EHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.4 n0 _( K# L0 u! e0 `  S
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) W+ g* J3 K9 i) Y% m' ^: H  ?宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
5 t1 K3 i9 {4 h$ T( MWatson: Permission to enter the armory., d1 E0 M1 b5 c; b' v1 _! A
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
1 `0 T# u8 v+ `1 R. y1 c& K# _Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）+ _  F) w3 t4 l2 a' m
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6 r5 f& _9 F0 v. Z& |拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
/ W$ U4 h* W, U0 r( T! Q- kWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）9 X5 }7 o+ x* R8 w7 \4 z) S, {
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。) M' S+ ^' l) F
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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8 u3 w; _! t' ^0 ~" I6 v0 PIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
: P+ Y% M: b! [% ]（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）+ e! p6 b" ~3 F; O
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?# x- H- B. `( R7 ]+ O: B
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
/ u; b  E2 V" x6 Y9 g' rIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.4 r/ k- S8 _$ h0 N1 M
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
3 |8 M* y( V8 yHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）% h5 U; a8 J. G) S$ A
Watson: Get that out of my face.
) `: w; X2 g( o2 b& W; u% c+ FHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
) Z2 N, s- h/ T2 T, ^/ Z1 ?4 l, e9 FWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.6 k2 w( d) H) N
路人警官Clarky上场。% y& Z) U/ F5 |- R9 X+ G0 ]
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
1 f" J9 V" l/ pHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
: W0 ^. y3 O3 q$ @( \得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
4 C2 O7 {2 D, O! X! b# G0 WWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?7 u+ x' `( L  r. O. w! C
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.) ~% h! g4 g8 V. p( t6 J# D+ ]
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0 C: ]$ o7 y* W7 g3 `5 u墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
9 v6 ~4 v0 H( n5 h: d) y) K1 G1 s（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
/ P! ]9 W" l+ [( HHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.& H! Q7 o; a/ D; d
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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# j" e( z& r' c! J& n: s% t河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
. s5 z' q  C: fHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
+ }+ `: z0 j2 |/ k7 rBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
- @  @9 W5 \9 m6 tWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）! X/ w" x# V- t1 ?+ s2 q* a
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。$ Z( u2 y  I5 k# K+ X
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
4 D# ^1 I0 y" v! V2 l5 L后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。; m0 x' a7 s6 a$ y9 ?
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）6 Z  m; y$ ^6 Z1 a$ j8 E4 P6 N
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
4 o( B( k( }: B4 pLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.; q5 ^4 k" f& `$ d
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。: l) P, W3 v  V; Y4 _2 S
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
( {9 ?8 V7 }* m) iHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）: V( C0 S; u7 O7 v) A8 G" I- ?/ |" z
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）5 p" j/ i4 d9 t, t7 l$ c( ?& S
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
  ]3 G9 o. h- H4 c9 pMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
9 F- ]. g. r2 B( n5 T5 x4 f% S) dWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
/ m$ l% x& e' GHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）+ d- z, |  ?' v- j: m6 d: d
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
$ C$ Y: a. ?# [) AHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）9 y; I/ m' M8 q- W. Q6 q1 |
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）" ^; ]% E3 H; x. {2 c- C
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）, y; ?" N+ A, M* B/ U/ ]
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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1 L% ?& S0 D4 o3 p# p2 U& l总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……