 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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* u0 q' M$ A, v3 v- y, |影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
* O, F/ P' e& N t7 DWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
9 d( X$ ~( p$ d6 N- v, FHolmes: I just picked it up.7 L. M" ?9 y; k' t$ I
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
0 t W1 X2 p( @9 p$ Z% iHolmes: Knew I forgot something." n5 y& ^2 N# h( w) T
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
( M9 X% @6 ^: c2 y( c% yHolmes: You did.) F( o: }- O. i0 ^8 O; |& s
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
' A$ p& x% d X( p6 Q0 B5 AHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 0 K5 T/ g) ]5 z1 w
Watson: Permission to enter the armory. X7 |; S+ h+ W9 O: I; ?
Holmes: Granted.0 l( {! k: W3 \0 X. L" l3 H4 f7 n
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 - I7 x0 R% W1 B/ A; \- \9 n
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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0 D& P3 F5 l% \2 a: V7 v. {拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
: m2 \. M; a' [0 ]5 j6 ?* lWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 7 f9 E6 z- |" |- z
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 % r; P6 c$ B% b- h- K% B- B8 C7 Z
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9 ]. F: G: w, S* k1 rBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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9 X! K2 L9 F4 L- }" F0 kIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 % t+ X8 a4 K/ ?0 X, i w( f: ?( j6 G
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
- J' Z$ ~& K3 s0 c9 o, HIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
, K' U/ D5 Q, o, r# t& h( FHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) ) t- S- ^% {2 m: T( {
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.6 U# A3 ]4 `$ E3 ], Y
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
2 G4 c+ }7 \: C% FHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 1 o# k: P! ?" d% E0 L5 O) L3 `7 v
Watson: Get that out of my face.
: e3 o, y; [3 m f0 }5 S( ]Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
* w" D) Q/ t6 a5 YWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.+ [- R1 ?* t6 `5 Z5 w$ G
路人警官 Clarky上场。 ' W/ x3 s0 ]4 u* y$ @9 R
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
+ Q6 H w% K/ z; aHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) 4 ]% `4 S j }. \* g( M0 [$ ^
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 ; Z) t6 b1 g7 U; J$ X( M/ O
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?. ~5 Q" C/ v. k( j5 X- k: g
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.- L5 D# D1 @" e
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# ~6 j+ j5 s8 j( d& b4 V0 Y5 x* j$ j: N墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
$ n' ]( l/ i* p. j2 ~8 H; y( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
- U5 i% e: E% L( m/ X4 ?Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
# L$ M) V; P T! k/ bWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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' J# c/ Y3 ^+ W5 g' K" A- ^( k河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
# l A& ?- J# k" t1 aHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
+ o( }5 y' D3 j: qBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…3 r3 ]* y4 @7 ]7 X9 F& {9 k
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) ! h `+ x; u6 O! h$ p* h- a7 F4 K0 x
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 % k; ^% I% u( Y/ u5 |) k) S
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) * U: f$ k3 k6 O- G
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
, u; p: Q* Y# Y9 l( H& PHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 2 L- k1 }! j$ ^
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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' K! D. c6 h# m/ D+ ^% ^3 o接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 0 q/ p$ t+ l. g$ A' X
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 5 y/ _2 P3 V4 g' m
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
# R/ @% O( m7 @* x9 aWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) ! U& ~( e2 k T3 m& S* M
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) ( n, W$ a: {: @" }
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
% [/ A# {/ \& s+ iWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
* m5 j/ M( ?% |% M( U, J0 ^Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
k; h! W' c/ jWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
7 q# ?: C# q' ~8 t) p2 w; s4 OHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
+ z/ q$ {: u& M) U, UWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
9 p6 ?8 W& B# s! bMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
; K$ C2 x2 q% z- T$ i5 F( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) ! N6 T) u0 ]3 e9 J
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" S4 u7 v. u5 J7 A" A! Q# N% Y总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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