《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。/ C8 f' ~/ T9 D2 u
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
- j0 V4 w+ B, q; FHolmes: I just picked it up.
  P$ N* n' N/ v7 l. JWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）  M7 T0 F4 u' j2 ^
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.3 w: Y' p* U9 B. U8 A
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）8 u4 K$ ^2 z3 |1 D3 A$ g
Holmes: You did.9 D+ `2 F, ]7 r  W$ D
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
# f/ P5 `: z' L9 @# V! ~, xHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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$ w7 g! ?$ }# T宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。. x3 a' T$ Z3 `% _: R7 I
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
$ ?. f7 i7 g' Q  S" c4 e/ p+ pHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。1 S/ S' q) C$ I' E+ J/ [' C3 O
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）8 O5 ]6 A; r; z2 J" d3 d
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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+ S: b8 g: n8 ]9 o' K; b# |4 ]+ ^Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。- ~9 }4 g5 K$ H
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。3 E  R1 s# J4 c1 R5 [; d
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) y, D7 a: `- S4 xBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。+ p2 x8 w& u$ N
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）  c. M' n" Y6 u3 e/ R
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
! X7 R- _( c+ g  Q+ _+ pHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）- |! q% [% n5 P/ {
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.5 d- [5 E; O6 j0 U0 `' A7 T4 z; R
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1 o' w5 t5 N3 i% G2 |& a1 }0 B5 |Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。* G% u. t$ U) j
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）& _- k5 v$ Z" Q/ C! C, N0 j. f- B* U
Watson: Get that out of my face.
7 U( M* X' e" j) n: OHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
2 r( n- W9 F' ~' R/ NWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.& v; ]. q9 K0 r
路人警官Clarky上场。
0 E$ B# s0 z3 q) ]& rClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
9 f( V: J" U% q4 OHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）1 B: @8 @1 J6 v
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。! Y" W1 X) _4 ^* [# G
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?: Y6 o# Y, j9 H' y7 y# A" T0 A
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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+ k1 g2 u! {& h% [+ b$ s2 ?墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。& Y' M% P% q. y
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Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
+ U0 V: G7 \2 A4 ^+ jWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
+ S2 l5 h- G& A+ d1 N/ NHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
; R% b# R# @8 I; ABlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
$ G) C9 I( j: `Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）2 P7 t; d7 }$ M) B1 k
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。0 k+ K9 o% w2 D6 c$ u
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）. b# E4 a1 U: u- f# l. y
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。1 p9 I9 ~* n$ Q' K6 H
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
# W2 s' f( c9 s4 {5 N& l9 CLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。$ q+ S- U" u7 t- D0 v1 \# M/ G; s4 m  ]
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
6 \# I1 x' S9 N" w1 }, B9 k6 sHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）6 {$ v+ P' k: a; j# {& T/ _
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）/ R' s+ L  x& @. E
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
1 z! `. |. _1 y7 M8 g- J7 @Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?! f$ J* J4 x* F' a' l9 X7 ]4 A, u
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
% j+ \2 @( \. H8 g( y; tHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
, [0 Z; m# D; ~! @7 MWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
. n3 g: I! |3 _0 @, t! j/ CHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
0 q) b! E; R7 U$ h" K4 h% _Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）2 q4 {5 U. G  G0 ~  k
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
7 u3 B9 o" R' U! U7 S* l  e' u  \4 J（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）0 Y- J/ z# @8 Q" _
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……