《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。" w! S9 b0 q# S$ m0 }
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。) Y/ l* t- R, [. @
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
# Q' q: ^" s3 \. \Holmes: I just picked it up.
! X) [# h2 @0 v- m- b3 ^Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）: w7 c' V# I4 Z" F! t. o) R+ S# d1 \- M
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.5 g/ \$ R0 E' r
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）: r% v$ c7 m% ~% z3 `
Holmes: You did.( @$ b) K& ^) `
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）; z. ]0 y2 P4 T/ ?
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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8 z6 t  e; }* S宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。! m7 h" q. z; @3 v  y# g, M1 K
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
, a8 F. U/ d- s: k: DHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。9 [' B/ A/ s( ^' p  m4 o
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）0 o7 c+ R3 L( D3 e9 X( g! H  @6 Q
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。/ z6 f1 m) T. y- a5 f+ V6 @! ?
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
, Q# P2 F) S9 l) s3 i- aWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）2 r$ h) V* O4 f' y
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。! Q# r0 n- ]" }2 U3 r' A0 v
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。7 v' t9 `5 z8 q2 E1 m, S; _
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
( }. `8 ~6 K# U/ a- c& hIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
  |4 K9 S+ U$ j* O6 a. gHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）  |* M- i  d8 F  q
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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; h, Z9 x+ b, a6 Y6 T1 C0 wIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。4 F- M6 i% a) Z# F1 g
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）( Y1 R- S8 H3 x
Watson: Get that out of my face.
) w( _+ a4 Q) ~0 x! OHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.& N0 K" f( C8 g' Y2 W! t4 O
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
  {: y# w7 @, {" Y- H0 o路人警官Clarky上场。
) ?: {" w' A& A1 k* j) s6 l4 V2 L" rClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
" \! Y# D( b# W0 t, `8 bHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）- X$ ?, H4 O7 J6 S$ \( i
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
" o/ N+ K4 P2 y8 i( EWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
* q7 j3 M! {# \9 h: iHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.9 _* y5 c9 m4 j5 p
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。0 |2 i" c  h/ A4 e0 [2 Y* @
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
7 r1 X7 i6 o9 Z* [& P7 {Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.1 }' q% M* R, B7 d: ^% d1 S& z
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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# U7 }/ H# c' @$ C河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
. \% n' K6 e) _4 P+ b; C; }Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）9 H* y' q8 n  m. B; d$ M
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
4 s  p+ ~( J4 I. r  jWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）( N1 _1 Y4 g" ?" B% z9 h
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。4 \& z1 x- Q* H
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）1 J" e8 D+ v* l3 O2 l
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
" }6 w6 ]* f3 C( q, o5 QHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。$ ^6 s1 U2 w2 o& b2 h# y6 V
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。# f: N: w# K% |6 M1 X; P
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
# G) U# `1 c) c; y' y' qHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）9 z! Z) ~+ O; C3 o- ]/ V
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）# B- ^0 _  t( }  b4 u5 e5 j/ d
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
) H0 ]. M7 z4 X; Z; B" }Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
! n. a/ l# n& T1 m+ n; ?$ K- I# SWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）1 c+ C$ o9 @7 S) O3 k* S- h
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）% j* K3 x6 E! p5 g1 J3 g
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）7 o; X4 G7 O( J* M; A6 f/ a$ ]
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
" W: P2 n2 z3 V' M% i+ S9 ?* b- y' PWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）0 m" x; ]# |( y  c: B$ s! |5 ]) q# {
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
0 y2 j; r% Q" f. o+ _（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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) I) t% P- V2 w; M, {总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……