《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。: P) s! [1 C* v7 \
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。% L, b: I6 m# {/ z; P6 t
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）. x2 n2 W4 x" t! o
Holmes: I just picked it up.0 N9 E+ E/ L) ^$ Q) J5 m* r
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）& M: S1 O+ ?$ d; D% R6 L
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.5 M* `& U: ^' k) M
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）7 ]6 {5 F" P, {2 B
Holmes: You did.% N$ @; e( z; m# s
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
' g" s  o8 k! p9 g  q2 X; u) BHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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9 u2 [  q$ C3 h+ v% p# q宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。! H( ]" x4 L! Q$ u- P. ]7 h
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.5 o$ n5 D0 Q' j4 Z3 Y; X+ y
Holmes: Granted.
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' h4 q% p! @3 F8 }; J) A晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
& }/ q0 C+ p6 k: H5 O7 K: F4 aWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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& S& j0 n: w& o. l+ W, g拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。2 ]2 z$ o8 R- ^) d
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。: c2 x5 V- u9 f% J5 P5 V
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。/ s# l% @# V4 ?7 G  w
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: a0 b2 y* w6 {2 hIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
, l7 l% h3 r  z  h（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
! w7 `4 _! [# W% l% jIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?4 C# ?6 i8 }) y/ N  V  C
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）; k4 F# t" N; ~5 ?2 |
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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% S8 C; {& v8 }Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。$ Q+ s6 h7 J7 p- \: u8 G$ p
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）1 K4 k' \7 J: E: d) r1 D" \
Watson: Get that out of my face.+ E# C3 z+ D  j4 h' Z  S
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.# m& W+ S6 d6 M% \! ^
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.. O! T& O. M6 P) q. Y2 r; f: _
路人警官Clarky上场。. J# x- ]; h; q6 ]9 g* _
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once., u/ W5 b4 ~- J7 o
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）% f1 k6 I& \1 B. q3 H
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。$ r) O) `2 E6 p
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
) i: P! @# ^4 oHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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! c' \% Z; \6 d! j: {墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。  E) z7 O4 k1 v! o3 u; Q+ w; W3 |$ d
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
5 Y4 e7 w5 c; ~! u5 T  oHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
# Z' f5 @% b! O+ H% A; b& j  r& GWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）" u# K6 `+ E6 M/ [! H, I) L
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( A: t  n8 i3 l$ |* t7 \河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。1 |# d# Z( Q' T8 U/ K& Z/ `9 I
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
* Q6 O8 c4 u5 W: ^: BBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…% H' X% h( u* i! O* E/ v
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）& W  U# G/ V  ^( Y$ D
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。6 u( w* _- |: Q* W. Y" K. B, L
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）  V# c1 \# X6 q( p7 Y9 }& @: b
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
3 i& h9 n5 i: I: i1 `Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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5 ~! f$ X3 @; T7 u; n警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
6 o* D% k/ {4 t# ^Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.. i2 m6 S, L! Z; y0 f" \8 Z
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- J, i9 ?5 ?3 `$ Q6 ^3 T接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
5 k# j, i" n: `! @话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。. F) ]# g8 v* S- N) T% r, M
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）; i1 G& }' k# F5 A, q
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
9 Y$ R% G# q+ d9 h' [0 L" ?; jHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
3 H* r+ _+ f" S# W  S$ F* ~Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?) J; r% A3 N7 Y3 F& k5 m# M
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
4 D& [9 X/ t$ ^8 e3 ]Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）& j" N8 _; n0 a: P5 [) U
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
6 g5 ]: L$ i1 M+ M' t: }9 W) cHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）( E% I7 J; I7 u0 ]6 y
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
) }2 b3 \! h9 `Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
7 H7 K" b* d1 p（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）& s) _8 n3 i$ `1 T$ }+ B
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+ C  e: I( W2 N% O" V总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……