《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。- h& m" j+ f  Y' L) h
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2 |7 b7 C' h( k1 Z8 e# H影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。# z. U' \! W# c' Q* V" D
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
4 q& }0 v: I( |. l7 \/ M# ^Holmes: I just picked it up.
2 z0 S4 ~& v$ e( c$ m. G& ]! zWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
% i" s& O5 J, }" ?5 AHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
: G8 t4 L3 I$ T3 V' M4 JWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
* W; h0 c* V0 n! _( }1 ZHolmes: You did.' ~& z) F) M9 q
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）% x1 B# b/ j' @) _& ~; U
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.2 X, T' b5 z/ v9 q1 r; F& `5 _
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
( q5 J3 \1 t1 o, ~9 PWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
* I7 x* ]4 `! h- V; lHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
5 u2 k- A9 ~2 g8 P& f3 {Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
; ]1 |3 ~- ?9 uWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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. l& Z6 s& n5 t* Y- ~$ J" m* D, QHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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* X: A) \3 H! q- T1 ?Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。7 L) z% k& m3 n* [2 P# \( q
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
* G$ C8 e* \( T  ~" N4 m# i, P7 ?（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
: W- M  A$ \9 w/ G+ VIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
& y7 V0 e& P& B8 |" T/ ZHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
" |+ e. S- D4 z2 Z! v! GIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.$ f/ ]8 L; g# E4 E" Q+ ]( P( V
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! o/ W  v. K" M; O8 d0 c" IIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
* g/ ~. E) C) y' K! ^6 fHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）( i/ u3 R) x; a% V/ ]; B5 F
Watson: Get that out of my face., W1 x+ N  Z3 M: j0 j
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.  F4 O) _! R/ S, i* J
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.3 }( Y+ [. Y0 I% B8 v! w
路人警官Clarky上场。
6 @! O# A% L; D  [Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
. C) g+ o+ H4 W! u$ U& m9 J+ ?/ UHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
3 J7 C2 {* n6 W! d1 O得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。# \" R) @( y- D/ O
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
/ d5 v3 g1 _5 k( eHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.) e0 o6 O  N" T6 t9 v; D, w) }' d
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/ t' F0 Z5 G3 _5 U3 S, S/ C墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。* Q1 k% ~; T  H" X
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
) t  p) E1 w6 R/ P0 _6 F7 n* ]5 _Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
! s' ]; Q* M" r# q1 h* A  E9 W$ FWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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8 _" s/ o8 @' k( @河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
% e  ^) H0 n& M: }, _$ J4 vHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
( U& g$ U3 |7 ~  V; F% w9 v! ^5 FBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
# Y" U8 G) C0 C% z& FWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
/ m( M6 p6 F1 ~9 j" @- s死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。4 ~" X0 W- r) T/ T7 e- U8 g3 Y
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
( ~/ [7 [* \+ N后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
5 }, J1 f! h$ Z, q6 WHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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9 E4 r; b) I/ D* i9 d! r+ F警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。! Z# F2 |' }0 X" B
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.7 g0 b% w/ ^- q; E' t
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9 N! a2 T/ {6 M' F/ Y接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
# s! M, a+ V, I" M( `话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
  e" K+ Z% U! a0 vHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
! T# Z: V. z3 ~3 IWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
& K0 I: m! J9 v5 gHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
; p  v& j" N% v% B$ YMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
# ^3 t5 Z, w6 c) M/ q6 W/ LWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）2 W$ n; Q0 {6 G0 i1 V$ p2 L  o8 S
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）" J9 I5 j9 C7 E1 i2 R
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
' Q: Z7 g3 I: l, R. ZHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）" i! K0 F/ s& @$ ?1 @8 {# O, w
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
  x: L& @# K! @$ MMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）; }9 C" G( h$ s
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……