《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。1 w! k: T+ l' r; x2 R
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: _* f* h! Z: o8 A* }影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。" [' p8 N! J) W% ^5 x& D
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
: ^2 {% d. X  L2 v* U$ A: bHolmes: I just picked it up.
0 q' }. N( n' q& Y2 _# J9 b1 R8 MWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）* e6 m4 S! N' Z" R% q! _
Holmes: Knew I forgot something., J: N- k! Z5 r- H
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）! Z! _) n5 V2 j* C
Holmes: You did.
( e- S+ e: }' t5 k; i  H0 f; P（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）! v" i2 u; E7 o: p: d
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.. ^7 R' t" R! t
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
4 C0 M, m2 y& s  rWatson: Permission to enter the armory.* k; U9 w: x% x# R
Holmes: Granted.
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: l, i6 w$ a; H, F: R晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。  ~. J3 g  T4 H( q
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）/ X  Q- e* @+ `% H4 F8 b
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! F# D7 ~& \1 c拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
* e* j" W: W- Q* W# t) SWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）/ j" @. J0 \6 E" q: }% }7 C
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  G9 W8 E# H. T% u* x) ]2 tHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。6 d( f9 }- J! v; N5 M. F
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* ~5 D4 `6 l4 ?( ~Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
4 [% e8 R( b5 @7 z（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）" Z8 \4 Y& y6 x( [: s1 n9 S( G, X
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
1 R3 H) O( |; d( \0 `Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）1 V( U3 n$ \3 @2 x/ l
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.* |% O$ M+ V( n: v3 t
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。1 b5 ?! z/ @, @9 B8 ^4 D+ a. w
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）8 @7 h! S$ T7 t8 N% h) Z
Watson: Get that out of my face.) G0 f$ X- y" _1 d
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
" F7 @. D4 n0 T3 |9 @1 DWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.3 P; o: n6 p! P
路人警官Clarky上场。
' J$ E# w( V+ ?& L6 GClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
/ F8 ^; ?; o0 V- M( ~( ]Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）+ J& W( y  @' l1 ?4 ?
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
8 H" E- F$ ?: }" [8 d& o7 yWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?9 i+ Z; H8 b6 q! _
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。3 ~4 `/ o# ]2 e% K2 D4 Q
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
# D6 c3 V; a% F/ uHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.6 X- c' J1 P% L+ S7 p
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
7 v( ~) k" h  Y: _. bHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）& Q$ b1 }5 x' ?  j% w* n2 g/ p
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…$ B6 q" y' p9 N7 B
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）- ~$ I- C1 c+ y! E; l
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
: O% r! Q' m) c% v& BHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）/ J" y8 k  j8 l7 q2 Y2 w' O1 b3 H
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。, h+ [# z9 x7 o2 I
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）0 w5 M$ X4 b0 _1 V  d8 Z! ~/ P+ r
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
$ ~( ~0 H5 F9 ]. ?$ nLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing., f8 u+ v! h  x$ Z- f/ B9 P
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
$ B1 B, p2 }2 U话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。; z: {8 i% }# H( H
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）0 M5 X* ]) ?1 K. B$ A+ |
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）) _0 C- I5 Q) X0 K  D
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
0 r# Z3 ~. Q( ^. G4 L; pMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
$ i* V' [, q2 B9 A. H+ i! SWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
6 k1 ~% W. d* J9 q  f, qHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）" B2 P) Z9 ^3 n- L! o; @2 O
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）1 w: s) o, q! \0 w& j
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
( s% S* x7 ?- q% z8 Y# AWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）. X! _( @8 N# W3 N' o5 Q
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）$ _  E% C2 B/ [6 g% d  W
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）* S% y# D& e" X7 s7 `3 t8 _+ L, x
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……