《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。% x1 D9 Y& o8 a+ R2 I' _  h: ^  j
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  y! [& |: v) ?% J/ w; P影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。& Z# @6 i8 m; E9 }
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）3 d: {# I' @6 R0 B
Holmes: I just picked it up.
! P8 _2 A+ |* P: q# `$ G8 ^Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）, @  m+ s; k* E
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.# _. g! ]' k$ a+ ], O* a5 q& H
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
+ }- v' S  A6 n2 s8 |' V- `Holmes: You did.( Q6 b' E- p! D. G- _
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）! Z$ E+ ]$ {4 |9 l0 T. B
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.6 E5 P5 A) Q* O3 y0 ~# Z; K
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
: o3 U( l/ U) u" f  P& q  k  a2 GWatson: Permission to enter the armory.; g% s8 h9 ^9 f/ [
Holmes: Granted.
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0 P0 j# \1 b9 G$ S! k晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
- z1 L8 U) r! H3 c" Z  p3 L) r! C! ?Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）" D% X: @: W- k3 G5 ]; E
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8 Q  }" L4 y/ T4 x拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。/ ?3 ]  e; Z( `& ~
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）* d! L- j7 J, {! W# r0 i1 z$ T
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( m5 ?- w1 X8 b/ I' ]# X% b& ^Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。& ?3 F; r' C$ V' p* G
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' X; V* P$ Q! [$ V1 RIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
8 X( f: |8 y- E  Z& v6 m& Z（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
6 |  l, m) m1 U$ D3 ]Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
& V' V$ t( a3 bHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
- g8 Z7 G% s/ ~" c. [* W0 OIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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/ @" W& g% p2 q3 o) u, h0 GIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
  B) K$ G/ i* s. g: s) VHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）% u3 ^/ j: v) p/ w
Watson: Get that out of my face.! ~' T$ D3 [1 s
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.3 m3 k( H7 d- h1 ?8 w: d
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
4 V) J+ o* W3 D7 K& ^" q* c路人警官Clarky上场。. P8 D- ~' s/ i2 r
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
6 t0 h: C% H$ Y+ \; yHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）$ g4 Z1 u& c* w, p6 s" h5 Y, d
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。# i& ~$ F) R+ I* j) Q! `( G. X
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
: v/ M4 d* x( f( ^8 p2 o! PHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
& u  I2 k" L% l（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
, }* v- Q9 d# gHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.) [; ~6 ^! \6 p5 t+ l
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）7 x1 C* i; P2 U( x( C
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。! @/ z* n, f! U) q2 ?9 f
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）5 |# D$ `1 Q* e8 S/ }& N1 f
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…- m, Q) G. H5 c, |% n# W. L; g, Q2 s
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）- H; D+ ?5 Z' t5 k
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。' U8 M  r# y0 P; Y0 d3 Y
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）- u$ k  C  [& \; I# \+ p- m9 V6 l
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。7 h6 L0 D+ d. D2 i
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）4 Z1 `7 @1 h6 W% ~, S8 S4 E( Y) q
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。/ a2 [, w* `3 x
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.  t8 F% ~& a8 _
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+ F( P3 @1 j2 L接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。% L0 k. H! ?# y0 `
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。- B1 l! f; g  L! t/ D8 O
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）$ ^3 Y& z# ?0 |  Z% D- D3 w, u
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）) C$ {6 O( O, y8 v" x
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
' f, L6 M5 G* U4 r. }3 X( E6 K0 Z; TMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
6 R1 _' ]7 P& N  s2 ]: D( ZWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）( _% B. V& }# n# K4 R: B
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）! t$ k7 @4 O# Z
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
+ P8 B5 Z) E+ c+ I! |* oHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）3 a; {$ Z' d( X& x1 r% k
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）& L" f% b% t* L7 ~& P
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
* M8 V5 R% T1 p0 s0 T/ c/ i3 U1 x& _（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）/ s+ C9 f# V, S3 I, l
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……