《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
# y+ E5 N4 Z2 R, z1 z: iWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）) V1 d$ A( O( n+ U. m( M% |
Holmes: I just picked it up.' n: K8 Y+ _4 _% j% K+ U
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
# b2 K4 H: N9 l2 X! I, L( tHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
7 I2 {' @/ K1 b% ~) u+ g# @Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）! e; `) {7 h: @, D7 l5 R% _
Holmes: You did.
; D$ o8 G( D& X. W( n8 Z（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）2 O& p% G3 @( r/ |# @5 Q, E
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all., O4 P% G  o7 @" H5 r  B
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9 n' [/ k& F" X3 P, J宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
. @% j) X) G1 M6 [' VWatson: Permission to enter the armory.- k9 K5 l) P$ Z- M- w. z6 K$ X
Holmes: Granted., T5 N4 B: _5 @- U; t6 p/ m) G
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- `& T6 F- B$ T+ E; i; s( e8 F晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。& j, C3 z: z* P: a, T  F( Q
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）* Q! O; u) ~, l6 j7 ?
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
- e  j% r/ h9 }. p+ o8 W1 aWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）/ H  F; }: |9 A: z* [" @
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: p3 v# B! ?$ OHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。. H2 l% w$ R2 Z
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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2 x( o3 H, }* r3 M" ?$ y  T' D# }Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。7 o  X0 m+ l) _7 X; t- Z( W
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）3 n# l' ~4 n& b5 S, g
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?( V  j( Y8 O! u1 H. R4 N: @2 N
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）6 Z' |, w% D& c3 |6 M" [* e
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.. V/ A# D1 j7 E1 r, Z# |& F( Y
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! |8 \+ s( g  ZIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
" n+ R  L1 T* |. f! qHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）- l4 {9 ^. A- @1 I. M1 \( g
Watson: Get that out of my face.
1 G3 {) J6 u# jHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
) S" L7 R, f4 H/ x  b  RWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
5 `  Y7 u' p% a% h, z* a路人警官Clarky上场。2 X. H7 R. Z$ e1 A
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
. D8 _/ c% n! W. P, KHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
0 w* R7 r* e: H( D" C; ]得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
! p5 {9 @3 r  j+ O$ |5 yWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
! q: r$ s" V. d# I: P3 dHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.7 Q& v- p2 Z2 }! @3 h( ~. t
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）5 @* |7 \- n2 Q6 I! T
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" ?6 r+ ]+ T- g河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。7 w9 ^: b/ H0 V8 J
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
9 B4 q' ?; h1 z4 @+ K" \" g# p  ~Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…) P) A5 \7 n) E8 R9 Z! Q. L4 E& ^* j
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
# a  a4 T& l4 `' H! q死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。: e! \7 c4 X4 t) z" j, r
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）, c0 O3 ?" V6 T3 F
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
' m8 _1 e2 {" o- ]Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）! f' ?, Q  U6 h5 z$ l- K* ~+ O& P) }- u
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
1 i# b. O" V! i7 ^Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
+ G1 H& m# K/ a5 D. M话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。6 n3 D! n  X/ a& Y
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
6 ]: }9 ~- |2 LWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
  X9 z) U9 ~) Z3 |2 GHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）6 A4 B. \# k( Z: Z
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
. m* y- S# a. RWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
. F& m/ {. e9 G6 X9 _2 }4 ?* oHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
/ j- n$ E. _4 S: J  n# D& aWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
: A! t/ m- u- l8 UHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）8 d. \% R  D9 H, `- m
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）( y1 A8 |+ r/ r, H& l1 D) [1 x- `3 ]
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）  j, P+ X  o# U& B, `1 W
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）2 G- Z5 L% X4 H$ Z6 M
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……