《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。/ F; ~# q4 A2 J: e$ ~0 }/ f
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
8 F& `" F: e# m9 `Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
/ o) ~2 o1 |- j% V2 w# o0 S' xHolmes: I just picked it up.
6 W0 G( {5 ]9 q( EWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）1 m  d( B6 g9 N
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
& `" t4 c  B1 Q5 ]3 I" k4 F( `Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）. {/ y! k' ~$ W6 k* Q/ ^
Holmes: You did.3 e9 m" u6 H& }, B# r
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）& {5 }5 s8 P( x* O% G- k
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.+ U: g) d: S8 d
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。6 w; y7 P" S+ c7 r1 R) R' C- L: w
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
) i0 U! J! Y3 L. Q8 G1 {Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。4 _' y7 {; ?: A6 L7 K6 `# f% M9 p5 t
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。3 I; B; y1 V: C
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
) m. l, F$ B% H9 E3 \Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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+ Q7 x7 N. P0 j2 [Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。" C! k6 _# D; q. P9 @
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。. l& U( r/ p9 z  V2 J' G- N
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）' c5 f2 o. y, Y- _5 G
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?& T" s& ?: q( F& m* {
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
8 o/ P! U( `/ V' A9 C( ?Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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7 v; ~* E: N7 I* o9 G( wIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。+ \# K. e2 m- @; m
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）! F# S2 q0 _. K
Watson: Get that out of my face.
! D9 p, w9 W/ |6 H2 X) G# lHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
( K0 p9 g' N' @Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
7 P2 S$ z# Y0 F3 w3 t: O路人警官Clarky上场。9 y: I1 ~$ u+ e2 M# K% r
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.% Q9 u, `, O( j+ T
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）. m  x4 s% m9 I
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
! _' C" c  Y2 G3 s) \Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
2 a2 e6 k7 ?( o6 w8 l5 IHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。) d& H: X7 j6 X! W
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）" Y+ S# L' I5 P. J. ^) C8 u* @( b
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.6 }3 w: N* r  c. X  w
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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/ B2 \$ O2 [( d2 U) C! ?! p1 J7 ]河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
; V$ D7 S! O- s6 R9 w) ~; [2 wHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）: S. c9 e1 K! {7 o% [6 ]
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
: P$ V: X4 U) G1 DWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）, F7 E9 l6 }) h6 l* d
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。9 x2 Q# N+ C- I$ I. _. t4 k# }1 Q' [& r. A, D
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）/ k/ v& D7 j# t: l
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。: i' |' l7 M' S
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）! t" q" o* M: r* |: k9 M/ E" o7 z
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
, d, P7 Y. P0 k, kLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。4 K8 ]9 ]& j9 w* g% L! N$ }% q
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
+ ]- U5 u' Y6 z" qHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
( }5 R' b! p: ~8 r1 IWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
9 F# c7 R+ ^: W) g; Z' QHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）1 J1 J/ J1 a. ~+ m; ~1 Z
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
7 f( e; B: O6 b3 l7 qWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）1 n3 T- n8 b! u" E
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
$ I5 L! \  {4 GWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
% e  e; G+ K( O6 W. FHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
4 h/ R! j; C, g9 DWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
2 f* ~) N7 y1 |+ N: |7 HMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……