《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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2 l5 U+ F; ?0 |1 L* x( ~( u! |影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
* i  J% @1 A7 W9 c* T  y3 [Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）+ v0 H, }7 }: v6 M! l
Holmes: I just picked it up.' S9 [( H; q' `$ F& y: S* E
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
0 D$ y, d6 i- R' x! k; RHolmes: Knew I forgot something.- U# O6 h7 D% Y1 s
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）( n- B1 @+ Z2 X9 L6 ?
Holmes: You did.2 R. u; \6 B" j2 Y( U! h" V2 L
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）7 `% }& m6 e2 P4 S
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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; ~- J# M2 J- \7 M宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。" @1 S, b& p4 f
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
8 {) G( y$ {$ f3 y# HHolmes: Granted.5 k7 t% F  @5 b
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。& s  B9 W( _- T9 K
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）$ d- E9 d* o$ e  c
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0 E" l8 @- Z, w; i拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。% y$ Y: s$ _" ^, T' n
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）; a0 O+ E7 A- x( Y
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。3 `6 K- S5 d. `& `# r6 _: K2 K5 b
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! P" G) _* s4 C& R/ ^Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。0 A9 t; Q2 L0 n, i3 R
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
& k* M5 a" y" x- _6 Q! m; w# p（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）6 o6 U! `9 I# t# J3 A5 F
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?2 _  u' k& w* h
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
. Z  d+ Q2 B8 {8 w5 ^* OIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.' r  N0 r, s# R
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。, n+ t  r0 i& n% S, b  \% l
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）! U6 c- g6 L5 F) U" a% a* n
Watson: Get that out of my face.& s: d4 p, y# w  [
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
! Y5 Q/ v: U$ ?* p2 T" u5 l/ yWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.! h# d5 b& U: p% L4 q& a0 ~
路人警官Clarky上场。+ q0 [0 w4 h" D1 K
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.+ e: w" `0 N3 l: P2 E; o
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）, l) [7 q, ]. ~8 m8 R- z( t
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。7 r) k; c" E9 J5 y3 `" W. L
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
% W; x  s4 z6 [Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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( J0 \/ R3 `, ], u$ e, s7 j墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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7 n% r6 z# i% [1 o- ?4 }Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.. o* m% {2 M9 M# H5 M4 Z: L
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）9 d4 `* }. J' T+ t
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
2 v% l' v) o1 h& ^, H0 p, THolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）, z. U. Q4 u0 U  |3 g! R& u
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
4 i! j& C8 p+ z8 xWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
: e# f3 w, U4 f死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
/ X) \+ k2 M0 I1 M  f' ?Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
$ @- p. U5 K$ m( d# d( T3 y后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
: S$ U: s4 b0 y$ K: |0 ~Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）: H% ]6 x( W' Z
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。, |: J- E, c, J. a- j
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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; r, C/ I4 i! Z% Y, Q+ v接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
1 v' g7 |2 g- `# N& k  z" Q话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
. c' L3 z" i; i3 o- m& GHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
/ L' H( K2 [3 Z- CWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
# r2 }# N6 u8 M, u5 t& oHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
% z& O9 B& Q: M$ M: l* xMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
* u) N! [! ?- a; dWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
# }; I5 U9 z8 m" p2 W: v5 XHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）- Z( i+ Z9 p! N: @, c+ j
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）$ t+ I" q% s( {+ s3 s6 I; U- {( C
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）7 J  |. q8 v7 I1 w
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）# t8 F) n3 @- ~* o/ @
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）$ a$ X; i8 x) L6 E4 r$ i4 x
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……