《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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5 R, q8 d6 y) J" d- @8 o影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。3 o4 ^6 o" Y% N3 i* _1 T( R
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
: E' ^! m2 k) D8 Z. s/ gHolmes: I just picked it up.# E# X- k2 k, p, k6 r
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）( S( @3 }8 t% T8 G, `; J* C: e
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.6 c( X/ S+ a7 n" O5 ~" }
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
! y$ U+ P( k  K1 P5 T! }1 Q. b4 YHolmes: You did.
( _5 E. b7 e) K$ X5 b（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）. J" V) ~+ V; n1 F
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。& q- c( r+ r0 E7 W8 |: K
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
: W3 i  z3 i. K+ }6 c* m: ]Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
: F- U6 k& F# G* QWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。6 R/ S( z5 c% [8 A4 _
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4 f+ H. G. Q5 b* i# z% `Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
2 V- S# W) A& \0 T! I+ g* {Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）/ P9 D8 }, @8 x/ t. i
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1 n$ ^7 |* U. X  E& e) j4 k+ QHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。! u: M9 b: _2 a4 \$ |6 L9 A
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$ K& S! S' r7 v; B" xBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。3 V% C& ~2 N& r6 W# E% A! O- S
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）' w) _$ j9 H, C
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
9 s# T4 B9 a$ A# v/ A" T) i7 a$ cHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）# F6 n, k7 H* G3 G# O: S9 `
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.3 f7 b0 e$ M* s! N' J6 s; T
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
) m/ Z" M" ^# x2 X% ?; SHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
4 E  d& B& d( vWatson: Get that out of my face.7 ^- t7 I' X. u) [. k) G
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
2 C, D1 C; Y: w' fWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.& w0 P% @* m! p
路人警官Clarky上场。
( g, N  D& a4 x& u' F) ?Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
: d0 v, e1 f+ K8 G$ {2 _! h0 yHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）2 E5 M2 h$ ]8 K
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
& l. J9 t+ n' ]Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?) O8 j' O9 Q1 F; ]. ^9 Q; Z9 U) x
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。. O5 y4 L4 O* R% ^5 N5 N' o2 c
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）4 Y  X; _6 X4 f' v
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.: F& s5 Z- }0 j) `
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
6 h6 \$ k* r# |Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
1 Z' z" h6 L, K/ l' x9 cBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…4 S! ^2 m! A$ n+ K9 G2 X
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）5 F0 F0 f3 |" a
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
/ W2 a0 c2 J8 ]6 q2 h6 Z: `& ]9 pHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）3 E8 \# Z; n6 u) R
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。; p2 N/ c. S+ S3 d) U' }
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）; x, W' d# y) z' }8 y
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
/ \$ N( L+ ~5 S! ZLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。% `, u. Q" G% L9 g) D
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。% m7 D9 F7 q. c- C
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）& t& F. u' k/ U' a. y
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
" M' n( [; r1 u: C: THolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）  ]2 `6 O5 @: T9 ^/ H
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?6 W5 ~& `$ w' V: A8 g" ?2 F- h
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
9 F6 S' y( z$ _/ R, CHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
$ H$ M  u; ~9 qWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）6 W2 R( D- O' |+ I6 `  Z) X& \. C
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）' e0 V1 s+ E( H- q& K+ s3 Y, R8 s
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
+ y  v! A1 E1 G6 [Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
1 j' Z  r+ A, E, M- Y（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……