《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。: r: @) B. X' ?% h( P8 W+ E
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。) T* j% H7 s5 C8 p
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）( N5 P2 k: A3 q$ j
Holmes: I just picked it up.' i" R. c$ i5 i6 S/ z) i0 j) Y
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）- }. L+ Y9 x* m; U  M1 d5 w6 u  k
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
- S2 M; a# V% x9 J6 V% ^( RWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）0 q2 J/ i; s% P7 X  I
Holmes: You did." p* [+ @2 H$ K( e1 G, e' q# }
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
! ]6 a% ^( K2 U, M3 xHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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; M  ~7 w1 D' q. M: b宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。5 M( O- n+ V  o+ f0 [# H4 `
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.: V/ B  n3 r& b
Holmes: Granted.2 {' l: E, P+ \) B4 l% r8 [1 e
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
7 @1 T4 a6 ]; F& {Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）8 {" d, G" Q) C$ @/ i( t; Y* ]6 C
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。0 W: j0 @4 J( ?( L4 ~& C" \
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
  g" q3 R: g% ~$ y" H- u6 N& bWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）- {: }0 r8 R2 I+ t, Q2 |
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! k* \/ G' Q: K. x  qHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。9 ^8 p7 w# H: s* ^
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。+ I  s! L7 I& ~6 _
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' D$ V% p* P  I! Q3 j) ]Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。/ w+ v# J7 _4 h2 i1 Z! k% S- w6 P
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
9 u: a8 A/ R* c8 ~) [1 |Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
* H( U5 ?$ L7 l& eHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）5 t8 R2 W9 |! |* H* G
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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2 E+ A" A5 y  D& v* H9 hIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
  _; z+ M+ V4 C0 wHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
' G* f* }0 T2 J# R# PWatson: Get that out of my face." `3 c& I% J; B* w  ?
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
5 H6 ~8 {0 |4 q. O' p  E  zWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.+ \& s. l8 ]3 {2 o" [! q
路人警官Clarky上场。: w! ^, m0 g$ Q, S
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
: W, R& e/ f5 qHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
/ H1 C& I( f5 S+ g- f得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。9 y: i7 q( \: l! J! z: B# [
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?7 C% w' v4 t# a2 T0 f* E
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.' Z1 d" ^$ I! b7 A: L
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) ~( B9 _# U, Q5 t8 i% W8 Z墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。- p, r/ N: _# e5 [. p- ?4 [) \
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）" f, ~' J& u& F4 w; ~
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.. B$ \$ E% y+ O/ I: @: N
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。9 n3 B# b0 C1 E) P) E- Q, b
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）( i1 S: T7 k& I0 o
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…4 u/ b% P0 }- ~0 Q. S  H9 p2 w
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）; A1 G( e0 R8 g- R- C! l
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
$ w7 ^+ Q+ ^' T0 R4 m8 kHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
6 w. S4 U8 q* ^; I4 z1 f后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
: G( x# m- z6 w, u0 D* LHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）2 r. {3 h* O* f) A
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6 s( z) m, k0 q1 e( f3 t7 N. d8 Z警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
; W! _5 p" M+ A  FLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
9 a- ^" x- `$ C( N7 z话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。5 A6 P& k9 s9 n3 H: H
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）9 A% b% [* n) G0 g& G6 ^/ X
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
* ?+ o8 W/ @0 i9 U: v0 c: Z5 pHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）4 s  L$ s( e4 P7 S; Z' F
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
6 z  L6 f( i8 Z8 AWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
; T6 O4 v3 ~( `. _2 ~. N2 [  VHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
8 Q  z5 o1 q' Q, \  i% S  m7 yWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）5 U" v& Q0 A. ~9 q* k: h
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）% s1 g, m$ F  {
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）) p' Y( T* `9 F" }' |2 f
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
  n+ _! |+ L/ N: z2 D（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……