 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 3 B7 i8 x% s p. I/ f
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 . }5 q5 t9 g& l. z4 r
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
; d. `! @) i* v+ _Holmes: I just picked it up." N( F% U) f8 H6 y2 `5 ^( C" q
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
: ^# @- n; k/ q" \) Y0 V: \Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
6 G$ ?; e$ \6 R4 h! m5 ~; uWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
7 }1 X. `6 \: W) n m0 z; R9 L; ]Holmes: You did.
& W. J- X$ r* c4 U" \(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
/ C* H! m: H: }" KHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
7 n+ b2 O: S: S6 i; O4 c GWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
& q& i( h! Y( ?( VHolmes: Granted.% D5 B$ {* F6 A
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
2 S# M5 s; Z' {- MWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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; V( N: p9 D/ s6 l2 x+ hWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
: ^& H$ E5 @# H5 B. o7 l6 HWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) ' A& B$ ^+ I7 B# A$ N
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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& ]' L5 X: N U6 w, Z! p; w3 yBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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R# \6 }# `- \& ~Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 ' ]8 t$ M( y2 ~9 u3 [3 U
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) % v2 c! i9 |3 x" s; l3 B* E& F2 J8 H
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
3 q5 E W, F' wHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
# G& r0 i2 |" i4 a: @8 QIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope." d0 L& i5 T# i) [8 i
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6 r1 y; J2 B' e- {' tIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
( I3 s" o0 t- ?" F. y7 u# z+ }; YHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) ( U& }8 e# d* J! v6 O5 x
Watson: Get that out of my face.% ]- N* P5 ?& m! o# V3 S
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.0 W ?9 o0 B$ v- O7 f5 z
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.6 V4 D5 E1 g N1 G
路人警官 Clarky上场。 & b; y- O0 y4 U) g! U! K5 V
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
4 {. k j( I0 O6 N9 ], Y3 fHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) L d1 P* C1 f7 {$ F3 w
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
8 w6 i# d" S, Z' r3 IWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
. ~* f, ` C- c( s q/ E8 rHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.. w1 H, p( X* b# M" }( y# r
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
! c' R6 @% T4 x1 ]( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) ; R% U0 _, A# x {% Z
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.% L" S5 I8 _6 ?8 Q
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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2 G, @* s/ @; O2 |% J! b河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
# w3 ^) U$ E8 N) F) R ?8 RHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
( t3 M3 |4 c F7 J X& a) ?Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…, D& |8 b/ Y1 R2 W- m8 {8 K
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) , i; x5 x& ^; |, s- d3 w
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
) K& n% p0 K8 l) R. |! ?3 j5 MHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
( s0 C' R% H; G( u. C5 R后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
4 l. l' b4 q! Y' B) g3 uHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 8 _) e6 |' X" z# k$ U/ A& k$ b2 K
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.- b3 ]# v* N! i6 n, }+ ^6 }0 M8 S
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+ ]+ ]0 U+ s" V5 B$ y$ t) t+ Y$ V接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
- D5 s+ w3 X4 w- e话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 6 B* j, }5 h7 ~% h
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) ) K3 B; { X3 k; D
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 8 W8 |* X0 P- |8 m- E1 ?/ X+ C
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
# j; ]5 m3 U- b, d7 TMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?( L: u N7 K" V
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) - U6 z& u, U. \' Q
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 9 u; u# I$ ?8 }4 V
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
$ ]& W& Y3 R$ r7 j$ xHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) 7 h# i2 x( N0 E- l* B( q. J
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) + M* q( x/ @3 t7 h7 I
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
! k& q3 j( \$ s% X5 e6 C( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) 0 k& ?5 [+ C o% [
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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