《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
# D, f9 }, t6 Y( L***********
9 t9 X. s5 O' G3 }- m7 i7 d1．
' V! \1 Z( D; L; L! Y$ Y1 E影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。0 n* N4 A4 i  R# |, d/ H' d, @7 P4 ^
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）4 b, c& }, ~) v$ M. e
Holmes: I just picked it up.
# q) y5 ?% A& W3 o6 h- M) SWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）! G+ \4 J/ t" G3 ?- R
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.( C: |- z8 H+ S. b) V4 Q
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
( j; Z' H3 j2 @  pHolmes: You did.; ]* m. \5 [. L. S# d2 E+ ~
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）' @3 R; o9 v4 l( t
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.0 l) Q; M# G* k) o! |6 M! s
2．
1 i" v2 `+ X: j( n- y; U% z宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
6 f( `$ g# U/ L+ k4 YWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
& [4 G& y; W: i9 n: x. L% N) wHolmes: Granted.# u! e+ r2 Y2 V" O1 |" [, M: K
3.1 I% P* b; f/ t' F
晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。9 a% |) B8 K( v# e* B
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
5 {9 u5 z* J4 G, [: b( J4．2 X# {* F  A* c& L; J) L9 ~0 c; H
拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
! x$ r, }: w# k7 i8 Z2 f5．5 H9 x; H# X' O) ]3 c
Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。9 d4 ~, u5 O( _  }& S
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）4 k/ ?7 x" S8 v6 f0 B! A( S
6．9 l) K4 u# L  l- a3 P. V. h9 {
Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。9 `; \+ _0 u1 u, p1 N- g" B+ k% e
7．
* N2 ]( ^+ [0 d* {2 yBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。' S4 {' H# `& m3 Z* \
8．! R; ?" Y% M/ F" d: @3 f
Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。- }5 Q( w0 Q3 g- m4 m
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
; B- R/ k, p: M  j3 X; x0 m( b/ [( L% NIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
  r8 H* |) L2 z' x% d* fHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
8 X& ~+ y2 O9 [+ v2 h$ n" QIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.1 J% P! J# O3 A' Y
9．
  N5 ?$ M7 F9 r5 l; S9 F, v2 YIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。9 \* I- k3 J! M$ G
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）6 |3 Y, b* @" N3 V" }5 K1 I
Watson: Get that out of my face.
4 n0 \' R, k) u% i, x! ~! F. pHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.9 n# e+ [; t: H
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.& A, E& O1 l& r0 @* J% f. v
路人警官Clarky上场。
( B7 n' M8 p7 H- J! BClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
. B+ m, X" _! V& qHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）& K6 p. m! o: ~9 w1 V
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。. Q; i; N% _- X! L+ m% k' h7 m
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?0 P: s' s/ K  l7 Y  v& w
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.& H2 W  w1 n! M: `$ y
10.
( ^/ T0 j) n0 I4 [1 Q+ p- u墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
  [, k8 _, q+ w( b" s（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）$ I. P) Y. b8 d) ?( V1 Y5 ]
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
( m# g9 x6 r( ZWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
2 b! U  L- c. E' ~3 e0 v11．5 c# N# U1 t) h7 J7 c& W5 n4 ?/ V3 Z) W
河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。& y% J+ n$ S' W/ ^# _
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）+ G' F' d/ f* w! U7 Q2 j7 F4 @
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
: w: @  q0 |& w1 `; ^0 zWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）/ G. z# o3 K/ |' N
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
+ G+ {1 c" a1 H1 W  ZHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
$ c* f. f- J; [# w# F, H后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
+ V1 {/ n' ]9 r3 ^Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）- L$ x1 C& w6 O9 z8 e
12．
+ ]" V9 ~" T) |. G: I: \9 G) M警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。1 p- H; U% J# c
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
. p. W& S, N5 |# d13.
% k7 v2 r; }$ E: B& H  ?; s- N接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
2 W3 ]2 ]( i  R7 ?( b; w话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。2 T+ e1 M  U" Y
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
$ v- M) I+ g3 T! _& `Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
+ _0 F0 Q* C. q. b! _Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）. |# Z. T& I0 S$ G( p5 o. V2 w  ?
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
$ t. b" N9 O9 z6 E" [( w2 I2 ^Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）3 m0 [. g8 r1 |7 ~
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
8 t# h& F" q% V, b2 ]: uWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）+ \( F$ d- I' p+ M3 L3 G! M
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）; v6 M; ~* R9 ~( {( r- b
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
9 K8 w7 j1 `: k* FMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）; d4 [. {# L$ |. G& ~+ o: |* r
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
4 v5 b$ G7 o* q***********
, S, M+ d, G2 Z( j+ a4 z总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……