 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 3 j5 C6 ?5 m% j: N& z- w
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
+ O6 M5 R4 h$ {) `Holmes: I just picked it up.
8 I' t3 |! \8 [! ?' G1 X0 u3 sWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
0 ~1 Z2 i5 a% X: x2 BHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
# ^! l/ k# n. U/ Z) iWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) 5 k0 Y' D4 l' t S- Y+ U$ U5 R
Holmes: You did.
) P5 P( ^% h/ [9 c(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) # D( z4 o- f- A# }9 {7 ^( [) z
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all." I9 `" j0 P' E3 s; g
2.
# R8 _6 n! { d, K) C宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 * Y/ ~/ [" ?7 F- L$ F( j
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.: Z$ r- U. E( R C
Holmes: Granted.( L! ^* Z4 y/ d% c& y: ]! q; D, m
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I$ {1 o8 d g% @! h6 s晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
" ]& Y5 B% s. @) gWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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5 D ]* m9 C; p7 F5 W# h# p拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
& r* F3 R" r% d) k: R0 W6 b. TWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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% i& v8 b I. s) |# c# ABlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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! H+ e/ m4 \ g9 t9 y( a- V. g% g, tIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 9 x& g# |1 {3 G( }3 s
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 2 g2 P0 j' C- ^
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
5 V( e# ]' ?+ B8 w k- VHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) s! v! g$ k" ~, q
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
/ A6 j! g& b1 M0 THolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 2 X4 `) g, P! l+ O/ N' f- R$ _
Watson: Get that out of my face.7 }8 X3 o* ~( Y8 S0 t1 F; h* C
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
! W5 Q8 R* U4 {- b J4 M- XWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
+ K: A8 i: Q9 \路人警官 Clarky上场。
x# v) |' y! ^& A: Q a: JClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once., ?" ]& m" G. E8 E3 j5 `
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) % M( r6 q* N, ^8 k( @. d6 J. H
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
( a5 q. u$ F u- |) ~Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
0 p8 {& t+ _5 k, Z# F2 ZHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.% _% t) ]* g1 N
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 / q, F* q j" d: x* k
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
- d& z/ {1 U) G0 uHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.2 q. {4 x3 o. o Y$ D' ?0 x9 L
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) - D: l/ _( z, o
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 4 j% Z, c$ ?% |- Y9 ~
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
0 t1 S0 N1 [. R6 HBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
0 M0 D, y- O/ w ^) `Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 6 t" M4 l) Y. K) P0 b
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
3 n, x; x. h3 U8 g* ~Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) % t4 F- U! B' \' O& l/ S( P
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 $ U {; J+ f; U- n# w2 h
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) % }/ Z7 d( R0 S" e" \. s
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/ N' O9 H1 y2 m警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
( C4 g$ H6 I2 aLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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- M. L! ^4 c" y# h! C! j接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
: F3 [, q0 ]5 e, {+ M& b% Z话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 6 Q+ @$ E% r z
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
3 T% X7 h8 g: L" R& _9 i% n6 b1 hWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 2 [* x9 p& T9 F1 ]) V/ V t
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) : j7 ~) K3 v5 _2 u4 _( {' P1 Q
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
) Y* R/ h3 g# Q8 V' Y" x9 i) w5 YWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
! T) R# m* j5 BHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 1 H7 ^ W( }+ u2 a
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
6 T- I" O. S/ ~Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
. Z9 B/ |1 @8 D sWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
T$ G; x% ~4 p+ Q3 f) FMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
2 B+ d/ \% V" f8 A4 ?- o2 _( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) + O, i9 [. t& d! x% S6 z
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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