《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。) z* M; @! R) s, ^, Y5 u
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
& Z- r0 Z3 P) F1 N, Y/ U) jWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
1 P9 w. Z* f, M. F& VHolmes: I just picked it up.
* x3 T5 G; Y' M5 ~Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）0 n; l' s. j$ \" J7 D+ F& o
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.4 _, V8 W* ~' y( q8 M/ C2 A
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）* K6 @8 h' Q. f$ A
Holmes: You did.5 `. O4 V/ M  L* U: W
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）. e& x  ]. j; J
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.+ @  j: A8 s: Y9 \0 Y
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
2 h0 n0 n' O9 ]- Z- J- XWatson: Permission to enter the armory.$ Q- q. B2 o8 l' `7 L1 }9 ?
Holmes: Granted.
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9 A5 [6 S: T, R- A6 \- f* y8 u晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。) F+ y' u. D' D% c
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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/ \7 F7 P& Y9 y# s5 B拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。- ~: W4 H/ N$ _# }; k* B# Y
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）0 O5 \# O; D: o% f: ?  X
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) ^4 d# R. q3 V; f1 p7 qHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。8 d- A2 ~4 v; W" O. d0 O" y/ o% |
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。0 a) W# h& j6 a
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- N" r/ \! _/ P6 YIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。! r; I3 S5 W6 m  l5 n6 H
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）' z( I3 o6 o; ?- d& r- b
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
8 D2 E* i0 k# \1 l  ?9 qHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
, y% n+ V( Y& ?- y6 D  m: A& qIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.' L- B2 g, a/ z
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% \! b; A6 L% l) fIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。3 u# V: R: @' I( H
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
! }- ?' s3 M+ L$ x0 BWatson: Get that out of my face.
$ o6 c& q% Y+ KHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.5 C0 d3 _' Y' |$ ~  _; Y4 V
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.: I/ j1 p5 i# l' w% F
路人警官Clarky上场。6 c" [# s3 {; W/ }8 S
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.; h+ L& v- q. Y8 L8 c
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）1 F$ @/ O" z! J0 ~$ X
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。" t1 o* V- e0 \* b2 v% e
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?) {6 @( f: {4 Q; b$ L( ~, p& ]
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。2 r- F8 W  l+ r- v1 _
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
' ?& A: c  u% G0 |Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
5 ]9 ^+ _& ^  j! Y: xWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）4 K. G/ Q1 B# ^5 r7 w
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。# ]5 L/ o5 w: ^# Q
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）& ~; I; b5 S+ Y* k
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
' Y$ B* ^  l7 a2 SWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）) ?0 H  q/ m2 m% ?. `9 |: }
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
6 ^9 P5 U  l! Q) THolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
# @. ~4 [1 q5 i" |- R# V% j' B后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
; P" }  r3 v1 P2 N0 w9 DHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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% q% i0 s+ `9 M( H9 e警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。- x/ B/ J. w9 C% d2 [
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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! j! i- C0 ^5 x2 ?0 u3 b" q接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。' A. B6 D$ d& z" o& l& b6 R
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
" R1 [# j4 S* i+ W( eHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
! _9 e# M; k9 {8 {, YWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
( t! y- ?  G  nHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）2 t2 H* I* k$ e
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?7 x+ M) Y# v8 d9 T0 I" I
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
% m8 x- j/ Q3 N; g5 I# A" nHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
2 T) J+ K. z  ?: TWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）, ~3 M/ A! v/ f  R9 ]$ Q7 Q
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）& X3 \! U* ^. q; q5 b1 u
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）9 }  q+ n" e, n, r% @. e! H" S
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）4 G% b: d. {2 U2 ?" S
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）* m. h9 t. l7 G
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4 V& ?) b4 ^( S! b* `总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……