《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。+ Y8 d/ U9 g- {# r( U3 O
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% Z7 C$ _7 D2 Y. v影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
: @' k3 \* `* m% oWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）$ Y8 Y6 o& y1 D1 k$ E. ~
Holmes: I just picked it up./ x! ^% f% c/ `. Q
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）' A; [1 q. N; @. u7 y- F
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
3 c0 \/ p- }# K8 h, T4 J0 bWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）$ C( I3 \% `" g0 d/ ^. e- \
Holmes: You did.- h* n% F) x9 u4 }, }& ]+ Y; x
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）& h2 d) y2 ?; O9 r: m4 D2 E+ y
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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' c6 N% e& z+ O; ]9 z宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
' R% _. i  F4 h1 t2 |' `$ S; {Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
: W- f2 E2 O9 }. v# V1 l) ?) lHolmes: Granted.
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5 Y$ M7 e% @: M晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
* h: h- V$ Y, |5 I; f8 P# w: xWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。3 g9 s% u* @; V% ]1 y# T
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。" E0 x; N/ s7 y3 k- B( v% m
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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' [2 Z0 \0 q; _9 O) xIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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1 }) j4 L  L5 `4 J# \) JIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?* m* r# o- |2 Z# `0 O! f& i
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）* i* b+ m; @! L8 C% r
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.+ u" H: C9 ~# R  }1 y3 O# \5 }. F
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! S/ O" q- P1 v; LIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
$ N9 N1 E& x+ @$ @. w, uHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）' }7 z# m+ y; f. z/ i6 r6 Z/ @& u
Watson: Get that out of my face.2 z2 w. ^+ o; ?) B* _
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.- f) G7 L# q3 g4 Z7 c; z, N1 b" Q
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
) T* t" p7 W8 S& ?1 ^1 e/ z路人警官Clarky上场。
* K, G7 ?6 d3 U! lClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
( x% O3 h/ S0 c0 y: I( q7 m/ aHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
# H! L- O; G; E5 y' c得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
0 {( q# b+ A9 F3 oWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
- d0 V. t- a9 j4 _, p1 |% mHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。% v: M/ ^8 O$ K9 |' M
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
4 b, s1 K- z' ?+ ^- b2 ^Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely." M7 {# N7 A  I) R" i$ f
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）- E+ X! @3 \6 F" x& R$ c
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1 p$ f/ }7 W  N$ w8 L1 n1 s河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。" E* q9 ~- \( w, X2 Q+ H- t7 }
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）* x& R6 m: Q6 Q$ C6 A6 _0 s  Z
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
7 R9 u% c6 P7 u! e$ v" xWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
# p1 P; T* V+ c& O: }死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
( t: B6 a& Y/ _3 \# R# ~! ~Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）) E7 W+ C) ^# u! ^  w
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
$ I, D& g* |' a  SHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）: F/ Q! Z, a+ d- J! h5 `: d
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' T0 T2 P6 r2 o# }警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
% B* x/ F' P* u" p$ N. uLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.8 N- g% w. L% v  I6 F- u' R, E
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# D' l# m4 [" E& s" {( g接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。! {# S& F7 H% m1 q& |* v
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。/ g8 k, ]$ p3 L2 c$ a
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
3 I6 y0 v6 V* q% t1 ?Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
! x; M" @) v' iHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）. V3 x  }5 e/ S
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?' ]* k: @! r. O: t4 w
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）* F9 j+ j* z* z0 _0 N
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）) `4 T: ~+ Q1 [% t/ N  i' G
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）6 M& `: l0 n0 V+ D% [7 G
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
5 a8 Y* \+ i' `: E) B1 lWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）' n2 f% A# @$ E9 A) f
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）- z5 t7 W$ f/ u! x5 R$ D
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……