《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。' ~+ e1 P, w3 |
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/ K5 ?* Y1 y+ U8 Y影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。6 s$ [" S7 i2 R- [0 U
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）, w. S* m5 [0 Y! S& ?3 ^# w
Holmes: I just picked it up.1 m( _+ e  E+ Z
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
$ E% \3 u& Q# _- JHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
" y5 i" \0 o* V/ lWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
( L0 q) O: \1 v6 nHolmes: You did.
( v7 `( N6 A* k6 x" Y1 e（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）3 W3 k( x" i1 n- ~, i) }
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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* \6 \2 N% b7 Z' D2 h宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。" i4 ^' f# _" w& e
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.! d: G0 R, I( N  ?) g( @  }: `
Holmes: Granted.2 U/ _$ ]9 X* C) z
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。2 e- I$ [" a. T) M) \1 h8 p1 t. Y; s
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）% W& K6 e2 z  b+ v
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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  Z  `+ M% U  Q1 t. q, d+ |$ ~Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
) o% L- N" p9 e1 u2 o) ]Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。. W. F/ E* h7 O" H
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. k& F) S& D7 l! A# ?; ^' k) uBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。7 L) ^1 m% {$ [4 l" Q5 K
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' n2 n/ i- k1 R5 r7 K- ^Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
0 w1 y; ]0 d& g+ o: t（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）$ D  v' S; E$ X- e
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
; h9 I1 R' W$ I7 x- p4 c- x4 ?Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）: H# ~3 c4 Z: f; i8 {, J/ ?
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.% w& q6 u# _4 Q0 v1 `
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3 U4 ]* i8 {2 u, TIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
$ |( ?: C. ~* OHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）) G( |2 k7 o7 P; m7 I+ d' |
Watson: Get that out of my face.
1 k* T0 Q( d/ F( ~% v% gHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.$ A, F* g$ i: G( V) Q! Z1 `4 z
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
' ^) J( v. p0 c  e& y4 H路人警官Clarky上场。
5 M, ]' \0 u  ?Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
! p# u2 Y- f: J5 E& H( v$ YHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）. n4 b% u, q1 T
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。& x& Y& |6 Z6 q5 \4 H2 Z
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?, c/ ?$ h; Q3 K1 j
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.1 ~! S% H' ~/ y/ |+ r1 R* ?) A
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$ E& w- s6 r& s3 E3 V% Y3 k墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
$ U, e" L+ T2 |, A" I1 J3 z" n. k（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
! a) ]. F* b2 [6 Z6 |( j. rHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.! z% L& g4 ~, X# s( G
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）9 `' Z6 P+ r2 c: F1 t
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# \5 m$ n5 r2 d" S河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
" L, K: q& U: M* C: |* B: c; I" fHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
1 J7 v) B; A- l& A. S$ T$ sBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
* V2 U1 ^) X6 IWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）4 |0 f# d* b' @# z  p- X5 @
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
$ L# K: C% x" p! n! N* XHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
5 i* r& G5 C# f8 X后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。( C6 Z- T+ i! _8 _) r
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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+ Q, W8 j, K8 b1 g- |警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。2 _' _8 ~% t! f5 X$ T+ b/ Q& s- L
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.  c/ J9 c: d! a6 z) x8 ~% R
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0 X  l" @: I3 Z( b$ E: }接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。" V0 T9 a+ f3 K& C, q. i5 g! R
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
/ S+ g- n8 R1 o. rHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）7 V2 S( s$ L7 s+ J
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）3 J8 b8 s& c3 ~9 U! @$ _$ ~1 ~
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
* t1 v9 [- ?+ J: k8 `Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
. N/ a- n) ]: a7 A. q/ JWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）- N6 ~$ a# w7 e9 g( j) a0 K3 S
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）0 z& z: O# M; v! [
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
% q) T7 ^. _# `( S4 ]Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）. t" w8 l- g0 {
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
  B! @; R9 E$ i6 RMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）% v1 F: h5 R) ?$ K+ y0 T% Y
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）: \$ E& S1 g' ~* u1 s0 P
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……