《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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( D. n, V/ z8 D& N5 _影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。8 i) d8 K+ U) s# G( @6 _! R
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
- P6 Q- [" G, N, f  L  wHolmes: I just picked it up.: v1 f- s2 v; t+ r
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）( T- B- d+ [) \/ r4 s) T8 [: x
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.( L5 f: T3 |$ C0 ]
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
1 `1 t' x- {% ?  e5 O' f: Z5 tHolmes: You did.
' B4 g7 N) \& A" V（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）, a% q8 W3 ~& O6 y
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.' C8 T. n2 I2 z
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! f: Z1 j% d( d# z5 C宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
0 ?6 G6 C/ i- ^% ]7 zWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
4 u0 @. u; h, @% _) }Holmes: Granted.6 N( a6 n0 ?, ^! \
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。* C3 }0 a) s9 @4 p' _# a
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）) o! X1 z& O6 {7 A( `
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。! {/ r7 B; T0 g% u: q7 J7 }
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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0 z# V4 s  v% o* f% uIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。8 C  y# E7 R+ w& a5 P" y: Y
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
8 a  F. c! b" o+ O+ [/ Z8 B4 [Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
/ O' p& l  G# ?1 |: nHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
) f6 g) F: z( a4 o0 S+ }9 e6 TIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
) {& G$ a1 G" [* ]3 BHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）  W( N1 y! g- w: c- K% o! w# ^1 _: A8 e
Watson: Get that out of my face.8 u7 t/ j- }2 T8 Q7 T9 k# A0 _
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.+ G3 b; g* y) m8 S
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.# d! @1 l/ b+ h, j
路人警官Clarky上场。) O  l  ?5 d" h  [- e$ O+ p2 u
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
, A2 f# B  ^$ w. @( nHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）4 |+ b0 j9 ]6 S0 ]' g. {* Z1 k8 [
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。. A6 K/ R' `1 R2 i+ t, }$ F
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
* z- P) |7 x$ |9 K# G9 XHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.3 B0 f& v( V, Q
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$ A: j2 a' q0 x& j/ i# \墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。' R9 L8 l% ^" b8 ^
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Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
; I; S) m% r$ ]$ ?Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。! i! R2 s7 _1 A: {+ n' X. W
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
5 z& }% m/ _3 e" x4 a9 SBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
: J- Y$ \+ }2 q9 zWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）  [1 s' H- `: {4 u
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
. G. s$ j# n: `5 \" q3 Q& m# R/ b; yHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）9 G$ P& k+ i/ i
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
7 |( n/ `$ N. n7 o* r+ rHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。6 V4 y0 x- m' R' J% A' U- |# ^5 y
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.. q2 ]# t. F: d9 r4 w/ w" R2 p
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。9 }; ]9 q. d! i5 Q
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。9 t- L, t: b( Y+ E/ E5 y/ O
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
% a8 Y# A4 }9 c& w; d- i$ `. {% |2 HWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
8 S+ Q: c- J8 |5 v7 c# N; X! LHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
) h5 s* l3 O4 M0 @0 pMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?: c% E' Y( w8 D, C# Z$ H
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）; W8 w& e( b0 r- c1 ^- D" h
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）2 z5 @+ G# \0 o$ S
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）/ [+ n6 `1 Y+ j; |6 k7 H3 D
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
# Q; W1 W( R$ u" i5 I- y6 _) S4 ?1 VWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）+ ]  p% d6 e) s) V
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
8 k# }; s7 H+ [1 H. y+ r( O（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……