《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。2 w! O' k- I/ d& a* s( C: ?  v, j
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。# V' |) w$ J4 @) C) t: U
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
! g/ h+ }/ Y0 C- THolmes: I just picked it up.
- T) R, g' a/ ~$ CWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）$ G$ w( X6 D7 U% i1 V
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.# R' p! C4 q' X/ R& W
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
5 a* X5 z' T* o  k/ K, U* rHolmes: You did.5 r* t. p2 G, S9 G1 n* L$ C  p
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
2 V2 v7 T/ O: T  M% h- ?- ~Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.' z) d+ ~" H8 D& a+ `* H
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5 D) I: M" b' B7 d1 a宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。6 h; E" t) v+ O. N( T* @+ t1 v) [! r
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
8 y, h0 K, v$ s7 v2 zHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
+ H+ o) Y+ e+ H! p$ ?Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）4 E6 ^$ q% T: ^. m& i: x2 ?
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。/ Q& g4 i" w, l
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7 F6 g+ V4 S  W4 i' WWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
; s# ^8 L( y& j( G- mWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）* E! \, T# c7 r2 T: y1 P7 L0 A
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/ a2 I# l% A$ [; G& U: U" sHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。% q6 V# R6 O4 c1 b9 d
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。2 J8 o/ K' P  f# L$ H3 v; j5 x
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
+ x6 p, j1 N! d( P. YIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?3 m# P* f9 t9 d' H2 b' k2 ]
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）, T* _- Z" v8 o8 ^
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.  N, u0 N8 X- i' {. l7 ~; |
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。1 e' h. s+ u  e9 O- I0 W0 ~; a
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）: y, A  L' S: u- S- F% t
Watson: Get that out of my face.
- U# j6 H+ u3 p% i+ I& lHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.$ E* ]6 D6 |3 {, |$ V4 V( b1 {9 \
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
& V; Q; E3 J& f( C路人警官Clarky上场。0 a- q0 c" m! @8 _
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
% T( a3 M( h% d( BHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
% f5 z% ]" d- {; n5 |3 [得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。# x$ g) q  h' A  ^3 I& q# G  L2 R, r
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?7 c) V: E$ I5 x) M, Q6 Q
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.) p' a* n) v/ v+ g3 o( D
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. f0 Y5 @4 G. R9 t墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。$ g' L: F' e& y% _. `1 c
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
" N2 T" X% j& ~Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
* _% ~' \4 s0 G& U8 l- ~4 xWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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( E: _) Z" u* x) q0 g5 V河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
5 z8 @% k, d* p* L' E; \Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
. `- T& q7 {! D" C7 l( C( S/ M2 gBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
/ W2 F' H" V/ D' f4 p5 r( DWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
! y  {0 n2 u- `% g死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
. V, a3 K( V% u" H, SHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
4 z6 G" p* \! G$ L4 B后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。! Z9 l0 B/ {4 v4 s- [3 q
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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5 ]/ U; G* H8 D/ W, V6 L* G4 x警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
+ t4 D; z; c5 v* yLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。0 S# \8 m6 @9 m9 s6 {* `" V- z
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。" M1 S) b2 d9 @; Q3 V% x3 k; H) [
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）% ]+ ~; O6 y9 S$ H, n
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）* x3 B9 o2 j, H% J. b- J
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
  n+ ~/ y) I1 n! k% A% pMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?/ ^9 ?  ]& l1 R# s
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
3 ]+ K& {3 M# k6 P& _Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
. h& \; A( ~7 ]' w* M! M# D6 v  HWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）# I* f: b) z% H7 x; R# H0 i  J$ k. D+ _
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）2 e2 D7 q, r* `  s6 B% Z
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）0 z& h& {0 S* O# F# E
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
* _8 f( C. ~% f: {6 N0 A* _: x（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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% v: y9 d, W; {# t3 L/ W总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……