《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。% b$ C6 ]  w$ e5 h6 `
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
7 o5 D2 l6 a! D7 l9 e) bHolmes: I just picked it up./ k/ t- k: ]# X- N
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）- [0 j: L) {7 A/ n
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
1 Z# S6 P# z3 B% J1 L, ^Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
0 D8 e  {8 Z& [/ o5 ~6 U2 @Holmes: You did./ F; F$ U8 K+ L! x1 E- J
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
6 e) F6 k0 {6 N2 p9 @# a1 \Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.: y1 L3 m, P& u) @! |  r) d6 I, X) ]
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
, L4 S$ b9 C: v8 _+ Z. D4 oWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
2 L; i6 Q' \  uHolmes: Granted.' \* }3 h8 o2 Q6 A
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
9 _4 @( l2 ?4 X1 I& Z' q( U* L- K- rWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）1 X! U" d- J" w& y0 \1 Z
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。- v0 A" \  `3 l# Y) W& }
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）  H* V( r( x; o+ u2 C; T/ p1 g
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0 }1 u9 U7 Y0 X# J1 M( uHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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. x' H% I1 }: F! }6 _Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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$ A9 @' b1 M1 u, V1 k% B7 g* Q( vIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?% q* u$ o( n# u; T, c
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）, E" w) ?7 x8 `7 u$ J% X& h
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.! q9 c2 T8 {+ `5 _% v  C. P) e6 e
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, c2 w) _/ H/ n4 x& }9 g- eIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
: |5 m' d9 j5 M/ @5 WHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
9 N4 T* _1 z7 i% |& S$ C8 m! A  |Watson: Get that out of my face.
0 E9 M' P$ P& M6 B6 RHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.6 l& b( [" A7 Q* h
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.; k, Q3 s% I7 N. J2 p
路人警官Clarky上场。8 o7 ?3 h- `& i: t* A, p: T2 m
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
: D3 t; D. P: UHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
: P0 r: j! T- K; O4 ?- b得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
: [; y9 F0 n7 R4 @1 x# b( NWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
; L$ o) r0 T# M0 X) p) b$ r1 RHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.% Z& ]; k, s5 o# E! ~
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) F# p& ?+ F2 ]! h/ M% d/ R& [4 y墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。3 d( ~8 Y/ X& u0 W
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
. U9 ~* T2 k1 T1 A+ X$ k7 E- M; gHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.6 n5 V0 w0 ?  i( ?' U- n
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）. V) N6 ^) ^( w( U& w
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( i: z. d& B1 J$ ]- P3 M河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。$ {1 d* e$ p" [# j
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
$ h( X* y5 c: O+ F# W% X9 `Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
9 b+ d1 U$ R4 c8 F8 x$ y% @Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
- n3 a& H1 n& R; q8 L* c死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
* u- S6 I& x, @! y" ]: |& P+ r" kHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
& `8 F' T# E7 Y后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。& A: E& ?# `6 h# r  b4 U
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）, T9 A+ ?8 s; Z" x  u
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。2 |2 a( h6 ^8 ]- o8 Y( I
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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4 ^+ l6 O8 w/ _接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
3 k) C7 L) z$ [- Y3 m. [话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。* V/ R7 m: O; b. V5 }, z
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）1 c% y) m3 e5 T" g# U$ S2 p( R
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）* k' {: l9 F, p; ]
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）3 O& c1 m- s7 l% x2 d# l) f
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
* H$ ]7 B, x! Q3 J9 V. UWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）% ?3 \( S4 v! w, ]. E3 Y$ z
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）1 h: J1 F. m9 O- {
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）% v( M. a" b  t& {0 t8 p& x- x6 r+ g
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
7 Z- Z- D3 D& I- J- @2 i, p' C+ S& oWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）, Z6 e# w# d6 O! H/ C
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
& ~) C" R' m; ?* A, |6 f（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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+ g  J! {, C. m总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……