 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 - s: e: ^* t! T; v) {: ^2 S
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; n4 o5 [/ d& d/ n( V+ N+ S影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
% c! ~& y3 t R/ C2 ^Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) ( n7 p+ \7 \6 W+ i
Holmes: I just picked it up.
) u, S* V Y% {2 XWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
. I9 [: a5 O' E' ?Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
1 a) t) l* F9 Q3 U* e7 A) G$ sWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) : Y& X' p& L& [8 A+ X9 b- h
Holmes: You did.7 ~$ ]5 S! b- C3 V! D2 o
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
# I4 c7 {4 f. ?/ M' M) hHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
8 t$ e1 N ~0 P8 eWatson: Permission to enter the armory.$ j; O( [, k( V, @. H2 l2 O
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
* f- s0 u: s3 r5 VWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 0 u) }+ z5 f( H; B$ ], e
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 4 W6 M5 G' x# B3 a! I! N/ n. w
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 9 `: u( }* k" l# W" w- ]8 _5 |5 U
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 - N" G7 i. b0 q. w+ S
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, M" F* ?9 U& d* [+ D1 h# CIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 ' m' O7 v8 O* R7 V3 F
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) ' ^! q, j: c0 j8 v5 ~! H7 }5 \
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?* W) m |% n. w4 h8 `' ?1 F' H6 Y
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
) X, }. z8 ~8 b" Z4 V$ SIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
+ n( L% `9 e' }. \6 \$ C7 Y" ~Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
2 P: X4 E7 ~% {; ?4 BWatson: Get that out of my face.* D# j4 A( L5 v, {/ [1 l, L
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. c/ y4 |, f/ R ?8 m; v3 o$ J$ o
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.& x$ b/ Y) m2 l' A [
路人警官 Clarky上场。
& r, T$ c, T% |! \4 y, M, ~Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
! a" R+ ?/ u# NHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) . Z) ]1 C& S" \7 N3 ?
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
8 p0 F$ W9 ~! {. C0 l% |Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?7 b0 ]. \4 |8 l2 Z" X
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.# s* Z( V' H% M; d' @& }& \
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
/ v" t# M' v' [( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) & o' |, S9 d3 Q4 P9 _( q, Q
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
5 n6 `" i0 n, DWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) " R b% W4 p# a2 i1 q
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 9 |3 x6 m9 ^1 ~5 d/ e5 W2 w+ e& b
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) - Q& s) z! N3 p$ a; S
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
- j# c7 l/ a, |6 P' i) C* N9 q0 pWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) ; N5 E4 |) m4 c9 z
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
7 Z0 n: J8 `: F9 vHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
4 l- B. ^$ s+ {9 F; N5 V后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 & Z1 F6 }9 B) Y. I1 l S
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
1 s X9 Z; O9 MLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.5 C/ u) D& O7 S2 _7 O
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4 L" u0 p& x- L1 V% F) i接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 ) F* a; e5 A @7 E$ J0 p9 ?; j
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
/ v8 F0 W+ ^) i/ o3 L0 K5 ]3 THolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
1 [- @ ?1 b, SWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) ! Y4 X9 O; f. t/ h. v7 |* _2 `- K/ t
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
1 D1 U% D: Y6 _/ KMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?8 a, @" S7 u% w& }& c
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) ) {( ?5 h8 |0 d8 N& K; [
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
- Q; O, j7 `6 } {7 i$ Q2 _Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
* K- R- f3 q0 E5 \" S. i Y; lHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
( ~. F* f- ^, q x# tWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
0 W+ b) F( k9 c3 W% {0 sMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) 5 {4 s1 q/ H4 k2 r
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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0 b1 O7 o b" `, ?总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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