《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。4 F) ~( A* K' f0 ^  E4 Q6 Z, u
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2 l9 W. _: Y! m. T4 n5 i1 ~影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
% G) K2 l" u3 n! h; X3 TWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）4 _! D5 I1 |, d" l/ e% ?
Holmes: I just picked it up.
# P" ~" M5 L9 n  A" A' z! DWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
) E! K* o4 W" f# DHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
/ @  y6 V- a  s* ~2 tWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）2 f% H+ b& c8 P" q( A1 a" |
Holmes: You did.
$ S7 R" J) y; w+ `' m% e0 x（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）) P) u$ N* q6 H' m8 _- i
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.3 o2 l) e! \8 {( o
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5 |5 _4 [, p; Q( F7 o; N宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。2 c" J( I9 V# H- i
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
6 G8 Y+ z' k7 o# CHolmes: Granted., _8 s# P5 K6 @" A! h
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  h, G0 ?1 y( O晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。( c2 w- a7 A1 X7 n7 p/ N; |
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）7 m! ^" z; b& D" ~5 ^
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, ^" t' p& U# E. [拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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- C& e; I$ }; b8 j, }8 \Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
1 ~* d8 \3 K6 ]  R! MWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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9 f8 z/ H0 M& L# V! {  i+ ^Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
2 t, ]! z- m$ J1 M( M- c* z9 f（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）' h$ |) i7 k. W. V5 ?0 H/ a
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
2 Y+ I1 J0 ^, A. P) jHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）) S" `/ z. ]' `  Z/ u
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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4 x# _8 ~: [/ C( ~7 ]; A3 Y( kIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。( w( \3 W' S; d: p  f$ d
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
+ T( Z- \! D) rWatson: Get that out of my face.$ w+ Y: f, H* T! Y# Y
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
4 C$ \1 P9 a1 E, F( dWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
/ |$ g0 `# ^5 |) H* R+ j路人警官Clarky上场。/ x) B% a+ a; r& p! Y2 t* V
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.# S% y7 _! Y! ~" ^- x
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
/ Q2 |) G. X& D2 N$ _得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。6 _( h+ f7 x8 t% R3 \8 e: N
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
6 I; v# K, B; X3 z5 cHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.; s) E3 L$ V5 y# ]
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, r# p3 ~' l$ ?2 I  n墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
* A! }! t; o! B（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）6 Z; C4 T& {) @( _
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.( W4 J( C) ]+ f0 C7 `/ E9 y; s) C
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
% w- |& D  [6 C0 c+ f: M7 aHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）! U- M( r5 O, I
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…2 l& h7 P# @7 ~; l8 C" g0 g4 F
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）& y) j8 o2 J- N2 ^) f
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。0 N& W% p; n; ]" g
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）, B! j/ j( Z! }; p2 l, u8 j
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
# I+ P& E: E$ P# MHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）1 j; A; G. l% }0 _0 g7 T: _
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
6 s+ \; ?& ~4 D/ A3 nLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.5 `* C$ G% _  I9 e& B. J: _# S
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6 k  ^5 ^# e# k9 d; ?. \接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
( |7 K$ v8 R3 v. I6 W; g6 X话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。6 c: `& a; K2 s' y- M  ]
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）7 B1 |; _8 M: s! a# |
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）" y8 c. \2 D9 h, D9 j/ l
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
8 n5 E! L$ W( b9 l4 e% F- x  H; kMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
% _8 s$ k/ Z' U9 RWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）1 x( B% p6 a  o0 t& R  U
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
* v5 t9 g3 }8 a' E- tWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
0 f- H9 ~+ @4 Q" Q9 @7 rHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
* P: }* X/ I3 v  d& M& Y! U# ~Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
6 ^% b+ j8 ^2 N6 QMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
$ Z# I- F  P9 V' }! Z5 E4 h5 S（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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4 g" ]& d0 ?, Z总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……