《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。) A3 _' C* G1 f  I
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。" S& g; Z. q6 B) ^) s
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）6 ~% Z  I" D3 J6 F( F) b
Holmes: I just picked it up.) F5 s/ l2 o- m  ?/ o6 k
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
- v8 a# A7 V) X4 p4 a; A) ]# y1 B* hHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
( z5 f) U( c- U! k7 hWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
( |- G+ q8 P" M7 v* Z1 o9 n$ z0 nHolmes: You did.
' Z9 q: t3 W1 \5 s  i5 S+ J2 b（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）, w  G  Y5 @# ]. H, A2 b0 K
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.! i  I5 Z' F) G! D* H1 Z) W& @
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
) W9 r3 V( w. ?, Y  {Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
9 F' T' S9 Z* u0 VHolmes: Granted.' o# T; Q# c/ ^" e$ Q  g
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。7 y" k) f" V: Z/ d) [# x9 J% J7 W
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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6 G' N- }% A; W; m拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。3 G6 m* `9 u' ]
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
7 ?# l( [* Y& e3 VWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。6 J6 X+ q( Z0 a. O% q* Z9 O
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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5 [! @9 @& T8 ZIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
. f- O0 u/ `. ~" k3 S; t（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）7 L9 U/ _; E2 O0 m0 Y
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
: b6 V  z" w$ ~- ]" T4 G, n+ O+ ?Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）: n6 N6 b& f+ x" t  F! k2 `
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.8 O8 u5 i4 o; [; a% R7 h
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
  V% x6 `$ K0 @3 g( AHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）3 Z4 K+ s1 Z2 J- z8 \# ?
Watson: Get that out of my face.
5 Z$ M4 L, s7 H. i) QHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.2 P; ?( d. f6 e1 T5 T. z
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
$ _% g3 j( f% t3 w3 @* X路人警官Clarky上场。
- }: m4 F. Z7 t& O+ fClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once., ^2 U9 h0 F( M" p4 }9 @/ F
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
6 q3 F- q( `$ a% l得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
; _( Z) O9 G8 N5 z8 a1 z/ K' GWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?6 w, ^4 [" V- R" y- }7 N; j+ D( R
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.6 ^: j' P+ J" V! i! c7 B
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。& `8 }" W6 }8 T. F; h
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）- C9 [, ]; s& K4 S: ~; [2 f
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
3 n" A9 s$ d1 qWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。- z7 F' K5 k# _' k0 |% w' N# \) W( O
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）0 k7 r. r% i3 u* N! Q! B6 f
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…5 v5 t; p$ ^' X0 H7 \
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）3 q; a, z1 l: ]6 V) ~7 j" S. \9 x; Q
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
- @+ z" E$ }6 NHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
; }+ u3 X: h4 ?0 z& q5 ]5 N后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。- p. o: C  A: x2 |7 s/ E$ b1 ?9 ~" W
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）0 ^$ n4 p# [# ?/ c$ I) }8 a2 r
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/ c/ T: ~: R3 @! \警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。5 f8 `% s! A3 E6 O# O( G
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.2 g, y: I' n& z: `% `0 N) S
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" F/ V4 m9 x! @( J( w接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。0 w; O: O9 A+ j! q
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。; v" }. r6 Q; o5 G; A( \0 e! A  r
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
% U: F( f5 w) M9 `3 q3 Z+ s1 yWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）' N8 w0 N5 O! `7 n3 _+ d; T/ H
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）  M' H* U8 ]  U
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
, _+ E* ]) ?5 S! @Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）- {# E+ E1 M* v/ M
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
! @+ Q6 C& X5 b7 J' X  t* j& DWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
$ k: T- [& s* v" a4 O7 gHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
% Q+ `/ \( i5 G& T' qWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）* D7 q: [8 ?( P1 G
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
- Z: |% k% r6 d% f（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）" U1 M. `0 p  Q+ d
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, o7 [8 q. J4 P+ p5 y总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……