《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。3 n! A) ?3 A$ h% }
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）2 ]" E; \! X) i" Y
Holmes: I just picked it up.0 A$ T9 d+ T' k: B
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
/ p; y) ^- X" n+ zHolmes: Knew I forgot something.0 ?, s( y% o2 l
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
' o, M$ l( Q( W6 y3 mHolmes: You did.8 z+ `' {! a4 U! `
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）8 d4 B( Z& l3 Y& b2 ]
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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: ^8 o( H$ i/ ?2 U9 |/ g) t宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。/ _' G5 e( s3 Z  Q4 T2 O
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.& f" z$ s4 C" C$ \; [8 v
Holmes: Granted.2 G2 {2 [6 ]: |3 Z
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% Q' G2 |5 s3 m! L) Y% W/ H) z晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。2 s* r9 o3 f  [9 C
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
: W2 h; B' i2 ]( |" A8 tWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）9 q8 P0 R* T: K+ C& n0 \
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。+ j  x+ ?2 O# K& m  z8 }& Q
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。- t- A1 I; r# j1 h3 \! B: V
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）' ?2 Q" H* l6 X1 X& `! w! Q  z
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
3 f% K# s+ |6 ~! JHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）3 u" d- I+ b. o/ _' r
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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2 A: T( p" N- `* w  e4 PIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
' E" y1 A0 h( C* L# e0 {- XHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）# C5 g5 _, ^. J* D/ v, F. m" |6 Y0 {
Watson: Get that out of my face.1 x3 A5 b# N% j! A! l6 ^/ _
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
7 [5 G$ `1 D4 ~/ sWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
& w: p$ p& @8 D3 [2 N( _2 i5 X路人警官Clarky上场。
: k/ q: [8 I- T! d$ kClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.* u# t- Z- y  U( Y9 W
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）+ {* {9 W! `" k* L
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
/ D" R- K0 S7 @8 V  {Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?. a7 I: R5 L, T' f- i1 e& o$ t
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.9 A& K. o- F& G' E& k; Q; K& N$ m( {
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。/ J/ a1 W- _2 I3 d
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
, _- B' @) \7 u# H0 n5 aHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.$ W: D7 P4 ~' V6 `6 J, ~
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）1 B2 V: Y, Z, H3 w
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。* A6 C6 H4 P, m  _$ ~! `
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）/ N- Z9 t9 G& d4 ~
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
9 y' r( E' u- m2 l+ O" z/ p" V1 U/ DWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）# R  \: m6 ^/ z( O6 g' L4 E
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
2 D8 w0 ~. r* u* q" ^  T4 CHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）8 [* T6 O/ s+ Q  |
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
0 k9 y( s# j8 S8 kHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）- B( w3 `& @# @
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3 l( x1 A6 t9 `4 y警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。3 e  z( t( F! Q9 Q
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.- t" T" g$ c3 b) z# o; _
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$ r: v: M' a2 `; X  |! ]- ]- q接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
$ q9 Q# M- i$ {- I" W话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
3 B: f8 D5 L2 d  s& a: L! T  f. iHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
; f/ t0 b; h+ v; j! mWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
+ T0 d3 m9 i2 b+ S- H, j, c- gHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
2 M5 K" b! r# U+ Q9 P" LMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
* i' @( s: F4 [5 a" x" OWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
# y* _# T3 a+ R# Z) A; KHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
7 l) `$ V3 }1 S  N% v1 T8 DWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
$ t$ ~3 r" v1 PHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
% |; d+ B/ b, a* ?9 ^" `Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）5 n& h2 ]4 P3 m& F
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）4 ^3 e; m+ F6 G5 `. Y+ A: Z7 z
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……