《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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' Y% _8 P: Q" g影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
3 R. t6 c, L! ~# d0 a& ]Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
0 a# w! j/ ?; h+ x0 _7 ]; q% |Holmes: I just picked it up.# ~% s2 ?' E! O  h2 K# j) K, f
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）- ?5 ^. b: C- o5 D
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.: `4 e  K; v  e7 F/ R
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
4 O4 u+ k1 _7 m" v0 bHolmes: You did.
# s( o6 P9 A, H* A: P. Q! \（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
) R2 i4 N( y+ s: s. b, xHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
6 z, y& ~  `1 l" _  S$ Y3 sWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
/ v( e3 R  s, f; J3 tHolmes: Granted.0 {% a. i0 o) B* ]3 g
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。# r6 m( {; C# T9 h7 s
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。7 N% W  Y( s, n1 k5 v) m$ d
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; ?6 W  [4 V& |Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
" D3 d7 E: e0 PWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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, F' [3 r& z! V5 _$ N" x8 xHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。. Z9 T0 x& L( u
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/ U) b  C( G! h. u* ~Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。& B3 [; {1 G7 h! d& T
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7 W3 D6 m' a0 L" i- J) k; pIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。' T6 x" b. b7 l. o! }
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）' G1 D8 ^! y9 {4 |7 K, v; x( i
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
- ^- [; F. n' j7 cHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）3 J& K% B5 P1 q! l# E# n. X
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.5 \- g* Q9 E7 {2 p: O' ~# U: o
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
! w2 u3 W) O+ g2 N2 _6 ?Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
6 |$ u6 c$ u2 Z5 |! ~5 IWatson: Get that out of my face.5 m5 C2 w; y; ~
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
3 o6 Y2 U2 Y# \) Y' }3 Y$ Z( I1 VWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
  j# y  H- i5 ?+ s1 m9 \路人警官Clarky上场。
' Y3 i" L" J- b. `, i  uClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
- C5 f0 Z" O1 J2 N' ]' O# k) KHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
; H% v& H# N* P( Z0 h1 z得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
/ y/ w4 W/ ]# P- [3 t/ [7 Y1 _Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?" p% k+ f, E; W7 M- @9 d4 Z
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。1 f3 H2 K/ \( B, d
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）* i9 ~' J6 a  s! C: b6 B+ A
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
$ J0 M8 a' p7 [8 Q/ FWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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0 n7 m4 G) M- y) U! o, p* ]河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
3 X8 d9 ]# \/ p8 U1 R6 D' ?Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
- L3 Z4 H3 s. [8 R' O; sBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…. F* L4 e$ r8 }6 T% I# Q
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
! s, O4 W/ |- ]) }死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
1 ^: l6 B( W- B9 o' m, bHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
) R, V7 v& v$ U7 N& e! T/ O0 i. s  G后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
( _. y4 y* u# ]Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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9 C% l0 u' U: h5 k1 p0 p" R  v警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
* Q+ X; r7 W  }9 G) H. mLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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  \0 I/ I* h! P# t7 b6 ]4 r' }( r接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。- g  Y- Q( W/ ~# v8 x- Y
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。  {8 Q' V1 \; E) d
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）: {) F- N" b0 o9 c- y' z
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）! }( F# D7 G7 i9 M4 C+ x
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
: F4 r) ~2 }3 g8 t( }' fMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
; o* G8 A  h& r, hWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）) k. P# |- D0 s2 S
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
3 G6 t% P2 a! G! g$ h/ `" lWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）" D5 n4 }3 E4 X
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
- `' ~' u2 _; v3 J1 @5 e; Y. oWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
) O" V& R4 h) T/ r- {5 q" qMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）, R3 w& b- V2 o8 r5 T" A& N
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……