《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。7 j6 X; `7 J* ]+ q6 A0 E
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3 p0 V1 x: R5 I5 G6 m影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。9 c, E* X9 j6 J
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）. ]+ D/ T( q$ K8 o4 E; q
Holmes: I just picked it up.
1 w' `, g  B8 C( x; ^Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
9 z) ?& G2 c: W% h# q5 e  SHolmes: Knew I forgot something.6 B, v6 m7 }* k4 L2 T
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
) N9 _: f% a5 c6 `Holmes: You did.( u2 k9 U- y# s6 p
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
( J! E0 f; Y$ M5 jHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.3 B" [% R& V; T9 Q
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, ]5 j) ~2 F3 n宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
+ B' N" Y1 P7 l+ f) S  hWatson: Permission to enter the armory." C3 K9 n0 P6 @
Holmes: Granted.* F) h- j+ V2 _8 a- z; a* [
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。% M$ a1 d& Z4 [7 S) G+ H+ P
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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- i0 t; M! u; {拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。$ @1 L8 `$ j* _, @1 r8 Z" T
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
9 C# M3 y+ I4 x3 R8 ^1 r7 F& w6 `( Q9 LWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）- \( e$ i& I" q, h) C/ V- Z$ ]
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: f7 V( X; B9 m. Y" c% Y% D2 BHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。7 ~1 T9 `. l1 Z( n( j) _
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  O+ {3 @! J" o, u. y* LBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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, K* |, E. A- h6 S2 `Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。* Y, Z, y0 J- \; y& K: X
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
; j% ~, y3 J  }Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
& v5 [# g+ N( d1 E9 ZHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）' L3 J9 h4 Y1 m& ^
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.5 n5 p6 Z: I' _2 ^) c
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$ g6 _! V  }- n5 L6 b4 \Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
2 y8 D* v; x: ^, P3 ?( ^- Q1 sHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
9 t. |% G- M$ b1 K- gWatson: Get that out of my face.
, U0 L" z0 n5 S+ v4 [8 OHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
, z( [3 D* Y/ R/ |9 BWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
* f6 E5 s0 k) L8 G8 Z- h9 I路人警官Clarky上场。
6 F7 e% }0 V4 R, dClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.8 V) }$ v( Q: H
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）7 Y9 @% U( D+ H# ^* r. z2 j
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
2 ]- u9 \; a& Y  g! sWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
! k1 l9 f( I1 [" C. G5 T4 O* sHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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( C7 J. \9 V: H; j) c- s墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。9 A; O0 X( o% ?3 O  f0 S8 b; E
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
8 H9 g  v  ?( G* @) h8 pHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.1 f; `- u! W. u
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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2 }, W) G# v9 o1 q* i河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
+ R& }& S4 Z3 m; @3 M& {Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
% _4 ]9 a& I; ^% _( b4 w$ yBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
5 X; ]4 {& n' W/ cWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
- L" Y$ V! n8 |, ~. W死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
' S! R8 E  ^# ~4 q1 ?" uHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
; J  e- C. K/ X  t2 [3 x后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。; [, {! S2 S, o( c3 C0 a
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）/ l; z7 N5 R5 U" H: ~' C+ C
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。6 h7 f/ I6 l; k8 \+ K
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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) Z( q/ \) U7 N7 q接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。( s/ K( G3 q+ L3 n6 ~
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
7 p/ J" B! x' r. w! A) _Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
1 i  h- r4 @6 h) F! I2 ]  R8 aWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
' o( \7 @: n# h) hHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）( c2 l- J; L3 |
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
& \, R. L7 [- a, kWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
8 r% T5 C) C8 I# B* l# yHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）8 ~! |* S% G7 C  ]& C
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）) q' o1 k! r  F. I3 s2 y+ E* |+ r& L
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
5 t# F! P' C: ^; E- q  RWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）8 f5 C+ C9 Q7 x6 O  i
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）+ ~9 j$ _: f* o0 Z8 m
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）  Z4 D9 U- \$ t: Z
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$ C/ Q: j7 w6 Z/ n. w' ~总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……