《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。3 w4 Y/ t+ j( F& i3 J* v% b
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
% K7 o8 s2 v: R/ B7 dHolmes: I just picked it up.. L% r; i% Q0 x& ~# L7 z4 Y6 Y
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）4 h1 N& Q( U% E
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
* F  ?: I3 E# \- ]# H1 \Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）; [1 ^  U1 P- l/ H: ]3 Z
Holmes: You did.
- E) Z" [! Z: ~/ o& B（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）( R8 J# n$ b$ q# f
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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% R( ^* F+ G/ f+ w/ ~宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。- [4 @$ n$ t, x3 b/ u4 P
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.& ~% Q0 j4 I8 M1 `  n
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
1 \( w  @2 U. YWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）0 r8 u! P, |/ f% W' S9 t( e/ b& d
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。" R! a5 L* [, M, u$ ?: A
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
/ ^* L- P% ~; ~& |# fWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。9 x4 O2 p: ^* J* F
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
" e8 a( T  a% P0 O+ y! R' l; qIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
  `- c' |! J! g: I; A( u: ]Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
% M2 V; r! k7 l2 `5 v# j6 ]Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.) o. G  R, O; @0 y
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$ n0 }" [5 i. \; X, g' XIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。2 I7 F- |9 z: z* k: T" G# _
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
7 b- X8 J( T( D' tWatson: Get that out of my face.
: I* e7 A. T; j  J9 D$ bHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.+ f) x! V: N& [* d
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
+ K# @! ^5 i! Z3 U- W/ r% l路人警官Clarky上场。
% p* b9 \+ a2 K+ h) ^Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.* j; N  }( {3 |
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）8 L, N5 U6 P$ [+ j3 ]! {' j9 A
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
+ E; [+ L  x( bWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?% f7 H3 ^5 b1 o2 b; v! f8 M
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.0 ?# T: S2 ]$ P; o3 `: s
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3 O' r+ o, I* B# ~墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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* c5 }( d4 N) z5 i  xHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
" f- v* K$ ]$ Z! m8 }& TWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
9 E  |& r+ n# {5 N5 z$ }Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
6 C. R. m; x: g) l$ y% f* R& G0 B5 NBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
0 @) }8 [& F! f8 P# GWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
8 T! K2 a, c8 ?死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。; V3 o7 V. P/ ]
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
, h0 J- |  |2 M& T后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
, ]' ?7 A+ k( iHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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4 @, U1 w: h9 _9 u8 Q: N" t6 n8 g1 c警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
( z& `& N( y0 I5 ~* qLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.  a9 n# A( l1 G! H& ^
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
) _& B" L! ]* G% I2 ^; c1 \6 @话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。9 y- c6 i2 n: v" e4 ~
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
/ {; A7 v; r( [2 ?* q/ s5 B% ?Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
4 Z8 a6 Y. I# C; [" v4 ]Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
; d1 d2 ^4 r' i, OMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?/ J3 F# g  x$ B8 F' Y& X
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
2 e" ^- |4 G& HHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）7 u) O& g8 O- `: d/ F
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）& d, i& _; m: e' ?4 p7 R' A
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
6 L% k0 |8 w; `Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）1 H" `" t! M% J. _4 o3 u7 i* V
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
8 {5 t! m. N1 v# J' z7 }8 X（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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. Q0 k; w9 D0 t+ z* n总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……