《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。% z: v- |0 W1 [+ G! }( }
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。- z8 y. S$ |8 L9 j0 O
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）/ K+ s  \4 t* e* j1 }' q0 U& s
Holmes: I just picked it up.
: _' P* q* W) H7 X+ q* \: f( @6 uWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）6 p* s5 T" g: P" a9 m( {
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.. N& E  N1 I/ ?
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）! W, `, L8 V# B' p8 V- [4 g' y
Holmes: You did.2 q* P  @' O; C
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）. |3 V5 X/ V1 v- S& w
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
6 I0 p8 i+ M4 `. O, EWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
; f3 n- A* Q/ E6 s, L$ X% C' ?0 JHolmes: Granted.
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& ~( W3 M+ g8 A5 @' J晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
( `' X' [% |  i. i7 D1 @+ C7 xWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）) x! l6 A/ o5 L8 }3 T3 A* {: [0 n
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$ F) A& v/ f4 a4 D' p, P' W0 W拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
9 t- V$ B! _  g, @Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）0 r# W' {2 j2 L4 f
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  K9 B( `' m) p6 o9 k/ Z% @Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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, y( z/ c4 j- T8 f( @; oBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。5 M6 ]) N' l0 ^# P
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( X/ R$ P& g) VIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。7 _6 A; F2 p1 g; Y; c3 v
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
1 h! Q& N" R# P# w- o$ t$ VIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
* x# f! N- C/ CHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
1 f! P- [! {% R1 T% OIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。$ S7 o7 M) ]* d( W: G/ q, a% N
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
2 C# S; a! N7 n& P* v- _& w) _$ Y  _Watson: Get that out of my face.
0 q# `: f1 I" Y. _" PHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
2 f+ T+ s/ C" `Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
0 W4 r0 A9 w# z路人警官Clarky上场。. _+ r2 Q  _+ L3 w
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
; I6 n% r; O) t  q. T2 q& AHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）- v$ s( q4 Z  G" n" t+ n+ P6 j
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。: a: `) O5 e9 @+ U9 j
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
) U9 g" b, g# `% Z# FHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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3 Z6 m/ O4 M4 N! z( n, C1 L9 ~墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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/ z" x$ f0 e0 _: z8 m9 a: IHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.! l/ _* N7 h' s
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）2 ?4 G5 {3 |  U" p, B+ u8 @
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
; {; z2 `! x* K9 [# CHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
0 t- m0 p7 H6 {5 b& U% r9 ~Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…0 Y* J6 H  p* m
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）+ N4 ]) e/ W, n; ~9 ^
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。# O) D1 [" F( X$ ^0 b/ ]2 h! }5 \
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）+ N0 y1 @8 G  K8 m: W" V6 Y! t
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
- }" T3 ^5 r+ ]9 A3 G5 GHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。+ Q3 A  B5 A5 U7 n# c* `* o3 s
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.6 Y! A  M! E+ i2 Q4 g% j3 x
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+ I$ j! A' ^! n- T9 }4 k接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。  N5 G2 E6 ~  U  b7 |3 A9 B  T
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
/ P) k! r1 e, p: ~Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）! [& H. ]5 X& i5 A- `
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）+ U% M4 O1 H& `' `% ^7 o
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）7 _! z; B% h! G! j) z$ \0 t& W& o
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?2 x" p, r4 ]6 w
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
1 o1 N! O1 L4 Y+ I+ X  FHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
2 ^. B  p! M( m  J' uWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）9 ?/ m. ?0 R4 @7 Y
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）! J& W4 u& v& B6 I9 p! Q2 H
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）: S; O. ]( r- _- M; Y6 z: c
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）" r% O6 ]* a' m1 c: |7 v
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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' M0 c: J% T9 J6 m7 `总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……