《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
; W- V* Y8 p& J/ |2 |+ uWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）- ]6 Z7 Y' m$ m9 n9 x7 G
Holmes: I just picked it up.
8 T9 j# F: ^: I9 bWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）" T6 J6 v* ~- k0 Z
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.  p' p! \9 h: R8 ~' J. s' ?
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）- g7 b- ?  o: q5 J4 [* Y$ E
Holmes: You did., ^2 H+ @6 E' x! H0 T
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）& B" A- T: O, h+ K# i
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
5 R% j+ v+ w. g2 yWatson: Permission to enter the armory.0 i3 D# O0 Q$ W1 Q( U2 I7 A
Holmes: Granted.
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0 B9 C+ x1 n6 k2 V* i: g晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
- _* v5 s6 C8 B1 oWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）3 g8 |3 l, D5 Z( k/ E. O
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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: F& O' `% h; e% jWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
) |: i  I0 i, Z4 p! |Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。: J  U7 @( z# P- g+ d: D2 s1 r
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$ `. B9 {3 b( X) TBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。- ~' i7 @+ I. R
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7 `) a& c; P$ o  Q7 C) U! w' ~Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。# d0 b  K; ^4 F0 a2 l1 U
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）" {  v) E5 S. `+ O
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
$ B: e& a3 r  H/ Y/ Z' iHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
0 r! B1 V9 }/ m# J1 `Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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! i( b! ~5 _- Q- ]' hIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
0 ?% A: p  g6 j# AHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
. G; |+ x* h* X' _Watson: Get that out of my face.
6 \  a$ U" u4 L" U$ OHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
: @, R. Q9 m9 l, D( F2 S4 \, x2 sWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
& R- C8 v& d/ h) p3 M路人警官Clarky上场。: N8 v# H* {7 y9 `
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
2 p  t8 F; ~0 c( ]1 m; q- kHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
) C+ d  U5 `; e2 T得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
' E2 b/ p  m/ \; {Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?  s0 k; l0 O" _; Z6 e$ v
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。% x( G$ V, R, F2 T1 ^+ ?
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）( W1 ^6 a" e7 d/ y
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
, g5 r, q, e6 p3 FWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）+ C3 b$ h: [9 Z
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
# E% A6 y$ j/ R* aHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）: ]+ u5 p9 \& ^
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…( E6 C4 e# ?$ L
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）7 X- ?; H) E9 v4 i
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
2 S! w+ E+ W, b- a# w8 U! @; i5 ZHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
0 a- j$ V3 L# {1 B$ E0 S后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。0 R  r% b* z8 P3 e6 {- X2 o
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。$ A' {% C2 Y2 T5 [! ]' Z+ b
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.& n& E; z+ |* x
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+ G& N8 O) _- Q! W& o" Q接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。, D$ Z# f2 `: u( X% U; z
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。1 N8 \/ e2 K5 q  }
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）& s7 ~- m9 _! e! m+ _
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
' n* z6 T+ s/ i5 [' s, HHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
) x( V3 M- z! d7 p% X, l6 dMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
% {. h" h4 J2 v0 y, q1 U! S. KWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）0 m, p" R5 }+ ]. I* x% `+ Z
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）$ m, c7 \' X* E: f8 d, Z/ L
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
  p7 {5 i  D1 E$ f4 zHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）0 w5 j/ Y9 ~% L4 y
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
* Z7 E; W1 M3 Z" i" K6 e! _Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）# l/ W0 ]4 F' O
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）2 `0 L: x7 r8 h& L. ~4 ^
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……