《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。' p) J' j" }9 r8 }
***********: N) G: w- P5 D! f; G/ e
1．& Z; `6 k4 b, `: \* `
影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。4 c4 \2 x: h- R! b6 |
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
8 D) F8 E* T( |* {! OHolmes: I just picked it up.: k* n) h7 E! U: X+ e- F: V; j/ Y
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）2 j0 g; N) u; y( U. G6 r3 M- P
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
* p; |0 u) M7 P8 q2 R$ K6 LWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
$ Z/ U9 K7 I) s  ]+ [% Y, O( GHolmes: You did.* E9 o$ `! T4 \/ l9 U0 s
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
. w7 ~# U% w4 P, H1 U7 g: sHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
2 _! R: H! f& Y. U- O- o- o0 s( q2．  D3 o7 q4 Z/ k+ y0 z4 ]5 y
宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。) g. k- T  t( M4 j9 I' o# T
Watson: Permission to enter the armory." C. B; m5 u& `. L/ y4 V
Holmes: Granted.2 j" V0 O  M% z; A
3.5 }; G. t0 R2 z6 H
晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。7 a8 A3 l7 f# J
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
3 O1 i* z9 h  n$ W% r2 E4 j9 G4．  S- E% z  T2 o3 g
拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
( d7 U8 A/ C# E" \5 K5．6 k5 G( k" W# `
Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
9 q3 {) n6 P: e3 I3 ]9 OWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
: ^' k, O' y9 q" O6 V1 A6．
- }. v  w) G) c* B& zHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。8 j; Y  E4 ?: l
7．
$ N8 N& j- [9 a; W- p- cBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
% x5 `; W; A% \$ Z! B; c* n( X6 x8．
1 w7 ~; [: k& D: MIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。; g) o* u$ I2 d) d
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）( J) Q7 D' y( \8 G/ U. W* C
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
* {6 z2 E9 {: l5 j5 m* pHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）) X. x& h9 V# h* g! y; G
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
  d# E4 e3 [- _9．
+ ]5 S6 c- A0 F- O# K- j7 ?8 n+ eIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
$ X5 b" }/ P+ m( n& J; w5 E3 kHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
- Y6 v  E% C( Q* r$ _Watson: Get that out of my face.
7 `. o& w- r, [! vHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
0 T2 x/ V5 @/ T1 C6 V7 \2 U# UWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
# Z- H6 E% t8 u, Z+ s3 Q+ R0 y路人警官Clarky上场。
! E) \9 ~% [) r2 w. UClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.; h  Z3 e1 q2 m  @; k% q6 s
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）/ j  t) W7 J5 t4 c0 B, M% g
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
( A$ E7 I- p9 ]2 u* B* F( @" r2 g5 yWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?) P3 g6 M% M6 }/ F7 }
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.. S% `& A* Y- k4 p+ w
10.8 n- D5 \9 `& h* M; X" d
墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
/ O4 c" p0 l. Y9 M" o- O( f$ B# W（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）1 a  O& u9 Z  b5 ]
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
1 ^' g5 |# e. R2 X" T( r7 RWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）. s8 h; U7 P/ J) g: u2 R% s
11．
, X! ?, s9 G& U. e* z5 h河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。0 t" [8 k" u1 [7 z+ G9 Z
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
- F0 o  h+ \. xBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…& C! v5 O% k9 f6 S7 A& T: }5 t( s
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）. K: @5 X% e5 Q) u' O5 O
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。, i( ^! \2 u4 ~
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）9 V7 c+ D% z- e4 _: D
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
1 G! n  w* ]( o/ ~* n; F+ [% SHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
! O, e8 o3 t6 j- x  ^4 ?12．
) s' q' T% F  q- ]! \! Z6 Y- E警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。# h3 T4 F5 N7 Y6 r( m2 w
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
* u; @2 M6 x# x13.! [& r0 C* c6 ?$ _' O: }% [# ^) j4 o/ O
接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
- u* l# K1 s! k5 y6 g2 z6 X& t话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。7 r) o( c* e* y6 b9 g4 u
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）3 \4 z1 l& C$ r' K8 V8 t
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
9 n0 e* I) b- mHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）3 X) v3 z  H$ p( x4 P
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
7 W6 W# s/ j' g4 Q1 q/ N9 MWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
& x, P+ ^' o* ]6 Z! UHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）9 K# j' T  J1 P* H0 q
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
1 i" R& f* k) ?; l' K" J; [: gHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）! ?" R- Z4 r  ]7 q- d& ~  [6 G
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
+ y% \$ x3 B+ s2 m/ QMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）- U3 G) c5 o- t' @" |
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）, A8 T& u7 p# ^# G
***********
6 |( b& r5 v/ M总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……