《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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5 s8 H0 K  b, r  v影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
- H* u1 M) r: O, D6 SWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）' f& }; m0 ^3 L  S; ]8 a
Holmes: I just picked it up.* r2 q, R  m; @3 z
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
. i1 e$ ~' _8 U" `7 nHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
4 Q5 l( H# x& {9 B- c* S2 TWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
. B' p0 ^2 O& O) ]Holmes: You did.* `% K1 S: Q- h. \, O. C. G7 @
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）, @/ h, v  V& g" m  o
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.% N; H1 A  d6 J
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
$ d8 e* a! d1 m2 NWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
. V6 J6 Y% V7 MHolmes: Granted.0 m8 E* _, S5 ~0 h9 |; d# S7 R
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
5 o* K2 l1 O" h' ]/ M( @Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）* f1 @* B+ @$ L* Q* U: V* J
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。: |( X1 q3 X/ o' z
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+ b& u  I# F. b% q' R  GWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。5 ?/ o! h( N( y
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）8 L+ j: A. ~  I% b, X) e5 h
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。8 B7 M4 Y1 X8 k- n, f; f  ?0 w3 E
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。1 V+ \) p. O1 K9 y
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。# k: C2 F2 ~; t! L. I0 k
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）6 h) [8 y1 N( y9 W; v" U: h
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
7 {! \. q4 e0 [6 G& _8 eHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）0 g8 a4 ^  U4 [  m' u7 v
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。" l' F4 }" ]  f, g) S/ M
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
4 W' i4 N$ q# NWatson: Get that out of my face.& f+ h( C+ c: R. n
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
# w0 h5 k9 x* G2 a6 Y) @+ `4 Y2 rWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.( |5 Z" U: r! \! r
路人警官Clarky上场。) ?' s; |* [4 v( j: B
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
4 w: Z3 O7 g9 X3 `Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）& k: o6 o: ?# w9 y- G% ^
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。3 i* s1 g" p+ _: R2 K. @- S
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?9 i+ b" _, x  U9 m
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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& U0 Q, P; v2 x+ Y墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.0 ^! f8 Y/ L0 Z0 ?% q" o' j
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）" l0 j/ z1 s6 t9 [7 M: p2 k
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! z- L- D# u! d河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。! @  t0 c* P: F9 V9 X3 U0 @
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）3 C. j  H7 x: T% F6 l: a7 u/ T
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…0 I6 n' B; U9 N! Z! ]
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）4 f2 g7 j4 t" [
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
$ M8 h) h5 s/ y, _Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）% ?$ O  J. S8 h" h( N! `
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
" ]* L+ N2 G+ k8 E4 ?7 |8 p0 PHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
7 `0 [7 z1 s" o, oLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。6 a9 t; E( ?- @/ A, h8 v
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。7 N2 z- |$ A, S7 V
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
6 I# Z* M4 {7 w( [: w7 o0 ?/ c  VWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）* |# {3 _4 [2 I. \
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）2 ]. X6 ~2 r# A; U" {/ @
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?; @1 t1 c4 Y3 s6 r9 |/ J7 Z
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）* B5 T* T& {9 l0 B/ E% K: R
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）$ d. H6 Z, [1 p* B
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
0 c) c" y% U) E$ k3 i' Y: a7 RHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
. r- H; u8 q8 Y2 jWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）5 I: D0 I0 Y2 P+ u' d& A0 p: N3 f" v
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
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/ t% D( E0 d) @* c总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……