《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。4 L- L: e1 G) A* V8 h  x
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
8 }# l) c1 M- Q) c! tWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
3 ^) h& H. z1 SHolmes: I just picked it up.5 b5 @$ B2 a( m# N3 l  j5 b, x
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）/ ^- y4 s1 J8 V# b$ J5 [
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
8 N4 w4 w2 ~& b3 _Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
# T: J9 F2 h9 {. G0 jHolmes: You did.
" V& v8 }. q+ N$ b' w8 h( w. w/ w$ K（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
8 a! I0 s3 w% u/ T* D: ]' P1 eHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.9 Z. J6 o+ L0 i. J0 [
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
. j" g3 R5 i# {4 p: I3 L" D% o* BWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
9 x0 Z0 V+ J8 |Holmes: Granted.9 p6 v: A1 [3 i
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; o5 Q2 a, J! d2 |晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
' T0 B( z( y7 S! nWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
; ~3 m2 v5 [2 K6 [2 j  e3 K8 T- ~Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）1 T/ g5 A: a) m- W* X1 I( p
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# k5 H6 d  A/ n+ yHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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4 t4 ~& Q. g  F: NBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。6 J* m2 {# V0 W7 q3 Q% V* b3 l
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" V/ Y, s  {1 x% t* e3 u& }1 {Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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$ M5 j. M, u: T% K/ kIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
/ c5 s! ^7 i7 L" N3 @& _Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）' v/ I3 ?  i, ?+ n4 C/ B& Y; K
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.- D$ B9 y% s: Q: W
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5 ]& E  ^- l. J$ O7 j8 bIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
  ~) l1 G+ S$ P6 DHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）6 k5 @# f: @5 X5 r1 J
Watson: Get that out of my face.. D. z* s0 p' \2 {( M3 ~" ~. p
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
+ r& P2 k$ \; }4 D4 F' LWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
2 L4 x( e3 w: {7 p# J9 M路人警官Clarky上场。# W4 m  ?9 {8 I% c. a. K/ D  y
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.! M0 X, }% p* s! Y
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）4 Z; x! O" Q) q; r9 H- t1 j5 E
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
) Z, O2 o* N0 f# Q% V+ aWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
5 E" T, Y$ c, T' uHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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% ^- s5 Y% y6 S墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。5 E" }; S2 F* x4 l* ?* e
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）$ ?9 L! s: U; L2 X! q% s+ [3 Q
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.. ~% e2 D! [- ]6 b. {$ v
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）/ |( a4 x, J  O& v* O8 I
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。5 Y+ U5 v: _, d8 Z/ U
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）  o0 k9 r8 h3 |! r% r
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…: l1 \' s( @# X) Q+ ^
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
. m( _' R+ T/ g7 d& q: u死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。  A# @" |5 F/ Y/ f
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
- m' ]* k  m7 Q( h后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
* A. e- i+ w" p1 K* q2 ]Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
" d" T1 |/ K" L) }/ U5 A, G- H: k) A" uLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
* D0 W8 f1 @/ ~! Q; u# n话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
$ B) W2 L+ o: C( M9 W+ k2 b. ZHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）0 X# m. v" j7 p, g
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
0 N8 n- ~4 t& v( [Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）) F( I" z7 O! m- V3 C
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?  o. M/ J! O7 g! w
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）8 _! o0 s' `* {% @  V: Z3 c: x
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）6 {' m1 ~, E6 [8 h- J" M
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
* b6 y# G, P; OHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
& v/ v: g) s" h% A) H$ {) WWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
1 {) y, a6 ]2 n4 `* j1 x; V2 Q: q1 GMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
7 v1 l& Q  d. \, k3 j0 V; \' W0 B（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……