《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。" `0 a! ~# B2 ~: h  J/ I9 ~
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" m  T# ?% d$ ?( d0 L影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
; f, N3 J$ U% K6 a# hWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
3 G2 F8 S4 D( ~+ m" q* JHolmes: I just picked it up.
# }  S" g) l6 hWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
! X9 h1 q4 P$ [) D8 VHolmes: Knew I forgot something.& m2 @! `5 A. j; W# O7 [: J  x
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）1 Z$ K7 ^4 B4 k0 `; f. h
Holmes: You did.% I- o: r# w6 b7 z% X% N6 `# V9 X
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）4 v3 m/ J2 u$ f' ]4 t8 q" }
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
) P7 B+ P  P) r/ Q6 XWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
: G$ L! J7 |9 ~9 O) aHolmes: Granted.2 x7 R7 T, Z; G& `$ J2 M
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2 l7 A/ T4 l/ x% d" |6 N晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
; D) e( g$ z1 U* J3 MWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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8 b! H/ T; b" Q) O  g7 H( j" h拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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3 s1 e6 p1 S! ?9 l, ~/ UWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。1 S; J& H5 q! D1 v/ S
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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% O) ?6 z8 M" |" @, y) c7 ~: Y  fBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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3 \& U" g+ h& K3 n* P8 {- nIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
9 I' ]- L2 u, j1 ~* l& {7 p7 R（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）6 h7 b7 _. ?& o0 ^
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
% `1 {+ z3 _) Z5 u: dHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）2 M; ~. k3 }3 c7 z
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.! e# Q% X- v+ x3 v, m% v7 [
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  C4 l+ L2 y# `. G% zIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
, s0 O+ u1 f! P8 N4 V  j6 p7 ~& EHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
4 c" C- t6 l& h, R* CWatson: Get that out of my face.
" m" x/ U9 `, v5 h5 j6 rHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
' e6 P5 v& b! R& Y# {Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.  X+ c, C) {# _8 S; Q5 L
路人警官Clarky上场。- K5 ^8 l/ I# d- q" B$ w" R
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
6 S% a( s+ y) Q7 |: W/ [Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）% l: o( m9 g3 c4 R
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。$ A7 X9 P) G4 q7 B- J& `
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
8 z; I, z4 {# {; ^& M7 \$ R/ QHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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4 M1 S# @9 G9 C, V墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
6 ]' I6 x2 U$ ]: |6 h0 g" O; T2 ?* C（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
+ l+ Q. D% R2 k" w5 ]9 s( @Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
+ I: M$ @) J3 _! ~. xWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）5 V8 ~2 ]5 U/ [" ^! I, M" n
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& W1 R5 P+ h8 Q7 T" J9 ~3 g河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。+ K& ?  }# K- u" a8 p3 _
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）0 |# \0 F% E4 ]  E6 q9 \
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…9 X6 M: ?: J* Q9 [9 \
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
4 o$ E, ?2 d! n$ B死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
3 k  H* E, R& l& _. GHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
; C) i! F# e  Z8 n1 B0 D4 X后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。5 b1 [$ t  s1 r8 M
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）, b9 }+ p& y$ H* {( ^
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2 ~4 Y. i( U$ E9 a8 ]+ N警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。6 }0 a/ f+ u) H& p* N7 u2 a
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.; e7 c' b  ?& j0 x7 z, ~
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! K- Q1 C9 H5 B- O; C; @接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。8 p3 n/ R2 y9 k
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
; m2 n3 L# t. D* ]  F# A! X+ WHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
* ]0 N( A- K  l6 |5 u0 Q. OWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）5 d# `+ J" X5 Q4 b# L2 Q( H
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）' R4 n# r+ u# z+ ~
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
! Z( Z/ O" N& hWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
& @% f# P' J9 f$ zHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）, e$ |6 S: a) a/ d
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
2 Y8 \5 x$ [3 C$ l4 M7 `# YHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
8 R- [, o, D8 _8 r- uWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）" G! o$ m8 i  I6 m+ ^4 {1 ^2 e2 V- Q* V
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
* V8 n& ?4 Z" U( k（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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- |  x, r+ |- V# G, e. m总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……