《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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: P) o. H% J& n- P4 O) R0 C影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
# I" u" c: G1 uWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
4 r+ b. b' R& I: t$ K. k& E$ zHolmes: I just picked it up.2 w# t* G; S1 c3 f& Z+ z
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）& I6 F! f) x4 @4 R
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.0 c* A; @# v7 @9 N8 X3 J/ v
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
- S# v. a, x3 R8 \; M% o. F: K; NHolmes: You did.7 Q+ t9 H7 d5 g+ ^! L, c
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
" C+ ~/ }1 C* q1 wHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
1 Q7 O7 e5 }* @' K( [5 yWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
+ l, f: t9 ]  G0 y9 J0 |Holmes: Granted.
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4 D5 @0 S& v* d& z! d& b! Q3 r晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。2 }6 C* m0 j: l, j6 z; Z
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）9 z' Z4 w! Z4 M9 E/ g- \! c* N
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。) C0 B* h  A6 c" f/ p+ |
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  g; v2 G5 b- x. q6 H9 dWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。$ l" o! P6 s/ O/ u0 }
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。6 G7 j( p: c& o7 R; d  o6 @
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& J4 D& u5 B% T* T6 w, \Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。% {3 D; J$ p! `/ P
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1 T/ S" S1 m0 j) E; Y3 cIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。( c$ U( G6 w/ {9 L& t/ M  H4 N
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）! r3 H! |& Z/ m
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?4 ~$ E1 a. x0 X# F/ h
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
" b! k, j; Y8 [( {$ q4 OIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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- I) k! h, ~: r3 s- e% }5 M: u0 CIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。' H- H! U9 B1 j8 I+ g: y; c$ b
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
, n! s( H0 |; nWatson: Get that out of my face.: S3 g. H3 e( e3 y  @
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.4 @3 i# U0 m" m2 m* h; D; s
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
+ E* }2 N3 D' ~- w4 F9 Z7 o路人警官Clarky上场。
- S! Z/ E# M' f8 o' i0 h4 tClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once., r+ d5 D# P6 j. t+ ?
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
* m: H; ]; w/ o$ i得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
* P4 B# L& E; M4 {4 TWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?* b. h$ B* L0 g
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.9 U" l2 w: B/ }/ ]
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, Y% H/ i; l2 B% {. d  W墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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& m% Y; a  I* q4 r# j8 F' E2 ^Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
5 J' F8 M9 @2 O- WWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）! a7 G; u5 E3 G3 D5 O
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3 L' y  G0 m8 I3 [3 o6 \河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。, z9 ^% I$ i  O2 B
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
$ \# N8 ?" M% YBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…# O* e* c! n" V; _
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
: `! n# C0 {( _, o+ c死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
' J# o) D' G" K. e# f6 _5 _0 |Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）4 O3 c# w& n2 d7 L8 ^/ q/ [4 D! N' F
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。! L8 x9 f: f+ n1 H8 B
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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8 N6 T" N1 f- B" J1 V3 i- W. ^警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
8 _  y9 m% G# {9 \+ |2 ~1 Z' c1 uLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.0 i) d' h2 U. B% P' `: Q, Q
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6 A, Q6 q+ W# P; V& F- u! M接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
: m4 l/ Z6 V; _. @/ ?4 A# ^1 T* X话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。  U( ^: p  P5 \! J
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
" E; h0 r: Z/ n7 W) K& J0 {Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）6 f7 ?: B; A9 n5 P+ I7 F
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）' Y3 Z1 L% c9 y$ X# t; ^
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
2 y( T5 M0 c/ N0 vWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
# @$ S' i1 |4 W5 [! E: ^Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）# X+ P/ S* D; P' ~
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）. Y' b: r' `5 {- M& |
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
1 n" A1 {0 G; i9 V& u7 Q, IWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）. _4 x# w, U1 e) S1 B, {
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
" H1 }. ~0 H5 i& ~（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……