《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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. W" P% D+ u" K2 T+ P影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。  T) a+ J- N2 W9 n
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）5 _( j: F' _, b5 o" P' P
Holmes: I just picked it up.
( j, ?$ k  _3 A: {7 z8 x4 a3 Z) aWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）7 E# E% T  f, Q3 g
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
: X$ l! [  z4 f5 hWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）. B7 H7 j, |! h( l
Holmes: You did.
# \( W1 y: U1 f, q' ^（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
* e- o' Q5 M0 H. Z+ w& N+ `5 fHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.3 i2 Q7 H: A9 k5 H1 K. O0 v6 ~4 }
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2 Q# H1 }' k+ j宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
5 K% q  D8 b2 @4 ^Watson: Permission to enter the armory.5 v8 p% ~, W9 ~; u0 D$ [
Holmes: Granted.
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' o4 [8 C& T% E晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
  N% o# n2 _  R6 EWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）: `% o9 u- v% \
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。4 N7 Y1 K+ ]8 I! P' M
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% [% C# A, g8 t& B& `' E* \" X- u0 z3 dWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
. V3 _3 O5 ~2 K1 C" vWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）8 o( H5 s3 Q+ z! R
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。2 a, ]( @* C1 F
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8 _! m1 F) X, g/ }: \2 eBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。- U- D& Z/ r1 C) y& X
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5 g) m6 s0 B' L) Z1 X' S9 JIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
2 |, a$ W3 E. \/ r3 ^; J（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
6 w! M& }5 x, O# C3 ~0 iIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
5 J1 j0 d! `& [Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）; {+ }7 W% \$ [# c: |7 x
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.* y  v0 }/ }* E9 ~
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7 z5 K, z4 D8 L7 N4 WIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。+ A, V, N: |# I: J# r
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）1 O6 _0 N: w& n9 G& Y7 c
Watson: Get that out of my face.2 G/ a" G/ F( H+ a* _2 i
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.3 z( ?. [; G7 ]0 f! e
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.# y! L0 s3 u/ q  [  u6 }5 x
路人警官Clarky上场。9 J# A5 X: P5 C9 b! `
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.( P6 p8 `" x6 R9 v6 X+ E
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
( D( ?) y; ]) s9 B3 d: B2 _+ w: J得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。. z& ^, Y$ y1 B7 S5 A1 U
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
' H3 U* s' b8 \% l0 @& J2 THolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.) x1 x! E5 G+ m* V
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) O  W$ d, V- V墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。/ K3 _1 W7 a, `6 m# W( H
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）0 ]& ^8 q. X& E  U1 ?( V9 P4 Y
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely./ L3 x& ?5 @/ \9 @
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）9 N! d+ J% ~+ A
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
# U+ l3 Y8 ]* F, h: N. n+ UHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）3 h# |7 Y5 n+ ]
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…8 Y7 ]) K7 c: \$ y9 s6 q, b
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
9 u4 W; k3 K' W2 ?3 F; Q. F: P死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
- e2 N4 U: y4 q0 K  [Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）3 W; C8 ]1 C$ g8 L8 }5 {2 l
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
% z0 y6 Y7 ^& z1 V" r, [Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。! [) U( \% |1 R, U4 k
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
8 W; }2 ]& {- }& _话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。, z2 I6 D$ [4 O5 J
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
3 x; j8 l3 Q9 ?2 b1 RWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
' v+ F" ]& y3 j+ p$ }Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）- d5 v3 a- R- c- L, Z# q% ?3 i
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
9 d, T( S6 X8 eWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
# t, r" H  j& m% Z6 I" `Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）- x+ J. A5 d% j* p& y
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
: |% Z" ]8 M! w  V7 v% {4 k' E: @4 PHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
; K- w! z% f' r1 ~Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）# \# R/ d" n' r9 k6 W
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
3 v- h% b' @; g, d3 R7 b8 b+ X, r（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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& f0 @2 e+ `* T' v; x, L( v. _总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……