《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。) {& _' i' r* \9 ]- n) l. z
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
  N$ v5 O/ y* Z+ V9 qWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
7 S4 q( A: G* Z& k9 n. `- \Holmes: I just picked it up.  Q- P0 j/ V% \3 ~
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
, q, [! j$ R7 x2 PHolmes: Knew I forgot something.$ b" d9 K# E7 y$ i7 F  }
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
! J) ]7 a7 D0 M: f7 g) }7 XHolmes: You did.
9 p# K/ v2 q9 s+ d3 y  h- C# ?4 ]* k（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
6 H6 k& ]* R& e3 s; p* RHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.6 q# T" a$ X) i5 _
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# ?; i. F  x" Q6 P/ G宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。7 p0 W# u& X! j9 J; P
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.3 w2 t9 s2 ^) }. E+ W% Z- o  c5 W
Holmes: Granted.
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+ m4 d; U* M2 i, x# B. [晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
) Q/ i1 x! D4 a4 _: z% u+ oWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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1 B2 F7 x( Z2 o1 M. h& F. O' g  n拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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  i( Y' L1 r# dWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
) N" q( m. w: A- f0 s1 z- [3 g# iWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）8 a7 ~" w9 F/ D' x( c& T/ b6 }
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7 N/ p# H7 `+ G* C1 N5 ^! |2 \- ]& [Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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, L8 M9 r1 y+ C) M: c. e+ gBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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: C+ i1 z0 j% f; y& eIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?' i/ J7 j' }1 l2 N/ r1 ]
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）3 k$ A5 H. p- s3 O
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.4 d4 W. ]9 Q. L  R  O/ e5 T+ t
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
9 P- E! [! M# {! K( aHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
5 Q" J5 T" h9 BWatson: Get that out of my face., u8 {; h( h. ]% h
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
8 f* f& B. F5 v' }7 jWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
8 M9 k) @4 {4 E6 @路人警官Clarky上场。
$ ?9 S" t3 h" D0 ~Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
2 O  G8 }! R) f2 G4 LHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）9 ^: r+ W% [# Z, o3 h
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
, J) K9 S) L7 M; d, K# d9 ]5 RWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?: S! A. w: P+ h0 \/ N5 h
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
8 ~- r5 v( e. E/ g3 Q' X! W/ Z（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）% P! Q# e6 _4 P8 W
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
4 \" N8 ^; Q3 l8 F2 cWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）7 O0 L: R& A6 }# q0 S& c
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。1 J2 ^  I, C; a% A1 D; t8 g1 X4 ~
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
2 f$ x3 W- f* @/ W" G+ CBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…. I3 w4 G# j2 m; f/ W  ^+ @& h
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）1 _5 @7 A+ m9 e) a: u0 b( }
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。7 b$ g( s/ S* @! c7 [) L
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
% q) x. f' F' L5 w后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
7 `9 u  p# m# Y/ d% b5 \: _3 Q. `' V4 ?Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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. k% p. m, V9 ?" }' t; ~; j警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。' f# V9 x) S" o2 _2 Q4 b% h6 N
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.' C5 `) `+ \0 o# v; S* R+ }) b
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! H' ]+ n5 g0 K% U1 u接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
$ E) ^0 q4 r# u2 }9 G( X话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
6 x6 J) ]) k: J2 P6 g' ]& m, ]Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
/ l+ z2 f! J9 f) [* t6 K2 L$ jWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
; t+ _3 N: k4 C6 C4 z* CHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）7 B: s. A+ ~. W7 C# A
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
; x& B8 ^& g* Z, X, X; KWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
% z' W5 N, `& U( gHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）0 e, S! Y7 S- [! c4 g
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）( W3 z) P; ~5 H  a1 B  Q
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
' D3 f" h5 C. oWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
  ~. |4 K! w: S& O4 cMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）9 [( F6 C* }: P( G& [$ }: @
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）, p) Z% r8 Q0 K, S# G0 f+ f
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……