《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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6 n4 l( K4 Y* M8 j影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。1 l6 |6 H- R  C' M1 F: E
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
# F& s8 M' x7 Q% J; Z$ u* RHolmes: I just picked it up.7 {; Q. ]: b  S; _9 t: l
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）. U- X  B# i: h: Y) Q* \+ g3 g
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
  c8 f% M- Z. lWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）  d* Z1 k8 }/ {" f
Holmes: You did.8 |5 b; a- {7 b* k- I
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
8 f% P9 N, b" }+ Q. f/ m' bHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
. H/ s" f  Z. \' v3 PWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
% L3 g! V/ t: @7 v" X7 t6 THolmes: Granted.
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3 g. g3 V9 q/ a) z( j) [' K" H% w晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
& ?6 ]1 \8 m% V8 q/ f3 ^6 UWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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% \2 H( V& _" ~2 L4 y* U0 W拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。# f: O  n  t( S) {8 V1 F
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. T/ m3 P8 t7 U* aWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。% v+ v8 V" @+ c
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）% [$ f5 L2 u' R, o1 O6 v
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。2 C* X; B+ l& e) u
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。0 K- T- f2 q! G. N
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。- ~" l# ^  s7 Y
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）1 V8 q4 A) z% l7 ?
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?2 a: \8 a/ s, J1 G
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）9 a% ~' J2 c. z3 ~9 z2 }0 ^/ Y% H
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.) A  I% `# g$ s' _! @+ w
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
0 ?( g  B+ o* S/ L% W+ ZHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
( O' M9 l2 l! X: ]Watson: Get that out of my face.; \- U1 n1 c% d4 T6 Z
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.1 m; ?& K# ^& _+ |* ]. x, X. [! t
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.% n6 w( ^0 y% A- }; G
路人警官Clarky上场。0 f7 j7 Z3 j' [8 E! ^5 ]7 b+ e& }7 w' C7 z
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.) n. X4 j8 _$ \( O4 d2 U/ B
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
3 p4 P; K; O  q6 z, h- n, T得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。2 P- g! n2 s6 v3 l' O
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?% y  x4 a0 F0 p3 K  r, y
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
3 @! `7 V/ L6 j2 T  P- I（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）% w- Y* ]3 o; i' J% M
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
/ ^1 _4 s9 T7 r5 tWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
; ]! y- @; g. Q7 pHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
4 |$ U" G: ~. |  a$ s5 \Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
( f% f2 i$ E) N+ TWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）2 {& d3 l9 }$ |1 f
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
# g" k( Q, C6 {4 s" EHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
7 r3 j) X; S+ Z, M/ @' i后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
& Y3 E) v* F$ ^# [. `, s( lHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
* c' L5 ]. w) q! T3 _3 X* z$ c% iLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.6 d  ^* e" r( R. r. G2 y1 T
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: ^! D( ^# D9 \1 [2 b0 ]0 o3 T接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。5 a& G1 X, c. k0 {
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。% N4 I) M9 T2 U# y+ x2 `* l
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）% ~/ K2 Y2 U' g8 r$ B- r8 X; K% B. I& Z
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
' |. o1 c1 }3 J5 L# L0 h9 bHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
8 a3 E5 u1 f1 ?Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?; E, ]( M' F1 @5 q
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
) Y! z) H1 j  R; C. G/ t7 {Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）: ]) u2 L/ D* F& L6 H
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）1 b4 k  B0 R; |! E2 Q. @
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）) ^" U+ C$ t$ u; \. Q1 G# q
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
- B9 P. B0 F5 I+ SMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
$ q. {; p' k  ?' {6 Q（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）7 O- c! \; {! M* p# Z
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9 \0 h! g, c& W. l; f2 s' f3 H- M8 u总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……