 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 : t4 r+ F4 X. _, k
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1 k w2 o1 p4 }/ |影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 5 u8 y4 N3 v$ O* t8 l
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) ' C" D+ W0 U# i. g2 [! c
Holmes: I just picked it up.& F% H9 y2 ], ~! i( E# d6 P- ^, D
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
3 U6 `' `8 t- J- a; P1 THolmes: Knew I forgot something.
, B+ B& z y9 vWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) / T. n0 M) \/ T/ R
Holmes: You did.5 d' V1 I$ R4 F0 c" M- k
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) * N0 A8 i0 W, J L, W% d& a' O) i! T
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
2 v, ^8 U, L" w H9 |Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
' N1 J. p3 C p, U& J2 ZHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
# C; B9 p0 u. D/ uWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) $ p9 R- A3 I+ X# q
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6 N$ v6 Q, y9 g拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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# B. [/ U; H4 f2 G2 v1 c! RWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
: ]/ ~. w) W! Q2 KWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 / E4 Q8 `3 ~' U0 C, D H: M
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 : f3 {5 I3 `' b0 N3 p5 r
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8 ]5 D3 |' Q) D1 ^% Q* p) V" V- XIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
' r% p" K% R6 c F5 f( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) - L8 O* U! ^* {
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
1 ^. m! k+ n( K3 q4 v+ s! yHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
1 `; N1 [2 A, w* R5 pIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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, s% z; D& P( c: f6 j3 P7 ?9 vIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
6 S1 n F& K. xHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) ! H) l; k- i3 R8 A/ K2 \0 T4 w+ p
Watson: Get that out of my face.
( Z D, s" p, ^, h( g/ q5 R/ bHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.& ~1 ^( Q% n V! C9 n* v! q3 D8 p
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.$ F1 t' F* @, m+ G! x& Z, c. v7 `
路人警官 Clarky上场。
& o# }% B& u; |0 `0 R6 K8 EClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
' i9 }$ b! i$ x! ^% PHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) 9 A+ v8 `$ ^& K# V1 L# g
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
7 ~- u3 K: ?0 @4 ?9 FWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?+ E8 I7 h% v$ _+ ^" R$ c: u# b9 v
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
" ]6 n4 ^+ ~7 g# e( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 1 j9 z, D1 X% q6 h3 _8 n/ l
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.: j/ |$ P2 B9 m4 s
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) , Q- P, I2 P: L( m; a( d! m7 l5 |
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
% m8 h- n( s$ Z7 }! E! f1 hHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) ) A- l0 \; E9 a7 ]; T) K5 d
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
3 M' P& ?2 m, ^Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
& R5 a. B( X! q/ I1 V, N8 B死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
/ u# M% Z6 z4 l8 }$ uHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) $ f5 q$ y# Q6 t3 j& S4 O
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
1 ~$ Z4 Y( }6 F8 ^Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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. R" A4 y# g' e4 Y3 Y" u警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 1 @9 _; y$ [) D" X+ k; \' W3 Y
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.' }5 ^ o7 \; h* z
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4 k2 t! V7 _& ` ~& @# B' e5 M接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 " ?- y7 T2 j3 \! a% v7 ]: d8 s. y
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 * u( n3 ]. I7 [3 J, n/ L
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 0 |# c5 ^( n- l4 v
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) # i5 p+ |# N5 Z2 M1 y
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
! a9 A* F) g+ W$ FMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
. F8 Q" W* H( X; j; U& V& ]3 qWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) 3 _* u4 {( k% S) z2 \5 Q: K
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) x c) E% J, Z& Y
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
, i0 Y/ C/ f: E, \9 ]" R1 AHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
( k) ]) R( F4 }5 F) _& d3 qWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
0 C w" q. S5 G1 x: U+ NMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
* t( p! e( e; B9 T( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) . @& A( n8 q6 p
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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