《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。8 H9 y5 f3 g2 i' }9 v
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7 p8 g' Y# z5 r影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
) v% d! {1 x8 V' X& W0 C. K# UWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）4 m- x* |& R9 ~
Holmes: I just picked it up.3 x6 T/ V# ?- p2 t# R! W2 Z" z: S
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
8 a& v) h1 i( f% X3 `3 {9 a( NHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
$ u8 E6 M5 H* SWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
# h; t) B& h! XHolmes: You did.0 i- N0 z& V: Y! ~' N* ~
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
) Z  x1 S+ {: T) F+ f$ y. sHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.. y( h, U, G, s
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。0 h# ?  V2 r0 r
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
" }" t; j6 C" M9 |- S- AHolmes: Granted.
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% e$ F/ u+ E" N& p) t( |晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。. ~- r& f2 c. l( X. G8 d" F3 H' M( p
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）5 s" }% I! W# `% Q/ k4 U( j3 g
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。+ s2 h  L% V( @& k4 m" f4 L$ f! g
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）# r1 C6 Y/ V/ O; ?' ?/ Z
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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6 F# W+ O2 c8 O) e5 HBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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% v4 M! ?2 |! t. J/ j/ j  D9 cIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
/ f8 L; ]* h. B1 d! E（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）2 j% x$ J- `3 F; {8 T$ b
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?& z/ R) g7 n' D1 a8 ?
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
1 |- c+ V( F7 M3 k  g: a2 a' U- G) JIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
! N% W0 r! v% _; M7 |Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
7 V: \; F6 N: j6 u! I- }9 ]Watson: Get that out of my face.
$ X9 O% g9 ^* I* o) x' e& AHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
: g. J# k- O( P3 \& fWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.* `$ @5 E2 m/ f! f$ q7 o8 z+ n
路人警官Clarky上场。1 Q( \: d2 M+ Q, ^, ]7 h0 t& R
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
4 B" F4 L9 V; W% `  rHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）% [8 O- c5 g% o2 z
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。' `8 C( Y% d9 {
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?- T) t8 w) Z6 M- q* r7 i8 [
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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" L0 I8 \  a7 u) J墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。6 [3 v* c2 I3 P, @' O
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）# u# X& o. v: {. f  g
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.7 ?: @: `0 x% Q$ O
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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4 B6 F: t: r5 e: E1 z2 C河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。3 X0 ]$ H  Y/ P( x+ |
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
( b/ }7 j2 u% NBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…" j% |. I: |( T" g! Y# z  w% U4 B
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
& Q- i$ C1 N2 d' E4 o死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。6 p* _7 T$ I& |
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）+ P6 w4 i# g! P! m* `& X
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
* B# A8 Z' L' }2 k$ [Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）6 @4 s8 J- l+ x/ b# g. S
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。1 I0 I) J8 Z2 ~% S. t. S2 C! ]1 c1 l
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.. k% T8 o8 L1 _9 \
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
4 I4 u) L6 o$ Q+ C话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
' y$ N' P  b8 r% l1 u- hHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）7 f3 X; J/ ^& I) ]3 U% R* {# A
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）& O# F3 s& N1 C/ T6 ]3 n- ~/ A. N
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
0 C$ ^4 J& H  \) i1 zMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?$ a( u: Z" M9 ?! H6 M
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）' k7 _+ Y( R8 M7 r, g7 z) q
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
6 ~3 d0 x2 P. J' @5 KWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）  O* o; V0 O# y* t* a( n
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）3 [0 ~4 }/ {6 s! H! X
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）0 U( t' L! T* [
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
0 n4 q$ H1 y  ~$ \0 r7 O（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）$ f0 m7 s; W* E6 L
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……