《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。& l$ @' U2 B2 R3 u
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- |- Q9 h) [: s" c影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
# H' G3 s+ T7 M; `2 I6 c3 a; JWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）( W+ d/ }0 y. B/ p0 l
Holmes: I just picked it up.
: h6 ]9 I* C$ c2 tWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）" ?0 H) Z1 {+ f0 O, c
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
( @- n; M& f* Q: U2 [  T9 mWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）( R3 Y/ O7 h3 F. U% _! a% l& ?0 x
Holmes: You did.5 ?3 S; x8 M$ \( f8 @1 s( K
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
- [- x/ A- V( WHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
2 ?- i8 `2 h% h; H+ OWatson: Permission to enter the armory.  {% r/ z0 X8 R4 a+ p
Holmes: Granted.5 X% c) [# M/ p
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0 S6 h0 {/ n7 W8 X4 [, ^# I2 C晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。# c1 V1 U1 D8 g3 r& @
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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- }! r7 I& k" u  F  n, C4 ]拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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  O$ y* l0 C/ v5 dWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
6 @* d6 c% L+ j  [0 P3 p8 kWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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& ?- b, u$ ?& r7 f$ z9 J# t/ J3 oHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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7 ]7 Y) k2 Z0 h4 ^0 n* M" J' N8 t: BBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。# T; ^9 T" G) q
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- h( u: Q' X- k# mIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。/ g0 N6 f+ u6 V; M# N
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
' ?/ s0 n3 t, zIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
( Y' X7 Y2 g: R# sHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）/ @; e. r% K8 f0 Y7 G
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope./ X/ w: @8 U5 M  P9 y8 T& N& B
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2 P1 l" Z$ K1 b* ~: T/ {3 IIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。; y# p% l. W* a7 e& a
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
' L. p* l9 L: B+ N& lWatson: Get that out of my face.
. w* C2 p; J, d& _% GHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
* O+ {  e, n7 x* |3 D5 ^8 \" zWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.: a4 U( Z% g- R& G1 F6 [' W
路人警官Clarky上场。
, [& h" |4 k) U; j0 A4 `Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
/ D! Q: K3 \( @Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
- K0 P. V! `+ r2 E' S9 Q得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
; |0 J- G! U- ?" j% N% aWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
3 q6 e9 P# W9 [. @# GHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.4 G0 A2 J+ X2 Z# A- ?* I8 |
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）6 `4 f/ x6 S; h+ f0 x
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
# ^% A" o7 o0 p  AHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
3 W. Q  O" _7 i+ |, iBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…% e- Z  r: k/ X4 {/ t( c* Q" D
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
) R7 H- R, ~; m# N1 L, V' q8 B6 m死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。2 I) D# I2 g( i% W+ \- z) v- j
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）3 k- a  n/ w0 w1 v. r% S" b
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。% M6 S, [" D7 k8 ?
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）$ x- L9 T$ v. [, m4 Q4 S
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。  x$ `; U9 S  {4 k3 H
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.' z5 S- h( {9 C/ Y/ \4 L/ D$ n; p
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
5 C3 e* v, {6 z) {& J# k) T2 q- ~5 \话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
. x8 L* I6 N. v$ W3 ^: mHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）) x. ~; [2 |' q+ u4 L. u; y
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）$ A1 G5 k) E  Q! |  _7 \  l* D2 [
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）( J& x6 G2 e: `9 G4 V/ F, E' g
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?/ B! n: j% {0 D8 C. v0 K# t
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）  J  `0 e3 Z" F
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）4 h1 O! b; f8 X* J1 l' z$ x% j% S
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）3 Q! d# @: C* B; Q
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）4 R5 N8 \/ Q7 `- A
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）# e2 L4 P! b  _% Y- l
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
1 p7 }! G' u0 ?2 G+ ^+ a7 C* @（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……