 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 3 L1 h, O( H' d
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
7 B3 B+ V) z3 B- D0 p! m) K/ VWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) + `4 y8 I8 U; s
Holmes: I just picked it up., ^0 {: c- N2 m
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) 1 z$ f% h0 N( s" O2 a! g( w
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
7 T- _, d( r# w; y4 xWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) 9 _! ~/ c8 r6 l) q6 x$ Z9 W
Holmes: You did.5 X( k0 D9 O# t% f
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
% c# V1 D6 Z, _6 i6 x4 B2 f4 lHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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3 N, b3 z2 l; \: r+ {+ f宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 $ m8 z2 b7 `$ N2 T- o5 }' L9 K
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
4 a! P, a6 K) {$ gHolmes: Granted.$ i# z3 j# L, o
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4 c. {/ H' e3 C: W( O晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 " y0 P' Y# k% ?3 u4 R8 Q5 |
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) * F. c8 `" y/ O% X1 n
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, h0 @2 g( q+ c5 N5 R4 [- X拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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5 p6 ~$ K/ Z/ L" y; i PWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
8 C4 c) P8 e! a( c7 q9 B/ RWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 8 |) M8 _& _: k! k0 L
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& z: j4 T" R& t. |Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 % N- T0 J# k" ^+ Z
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7 q. H/ C ~! {, wBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 - z1 l4 H# ?/ X5 E5 W
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# U W8 ~' C$ {$ N9 e6 @/ KIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
# D& r3 |8 g1 e, c7 A' d, d( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) $ d0 X- a) P, V# Z7 o6 j
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?3 I6 Y/ J/ H4 E: E0 `% p
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
$ E1 ]* Q) W2 i& O# J, i( jIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 6 N$ B- S3 }1 v h; p
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 3 O+ M* W9 Z3 e9 ^- ~4 S% B: k
Watson: Get that out of my face.7 Y7 e( U4 z6 C2 i
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
4 q8 E9 V. v/ {Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
2 ^: z. t3 Z% j+ v/ u' {0 W路人警官 Clarky上场。
" K$ K9 b+ r+ u1 n2 D @% \Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
5 [9 w8 F/ C. m; A2 KHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
* W& o6 u! t! S& h4 L$ K得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 1 S: T/ F5 N+ u8 R2 G$ E
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?) { C/ y5 T6 H2 e, e
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 Z1 X' W: Z+ W' \
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
g" M1 E2 z4 T& ?0 A4 N: aHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely." c" l. ` V+ ~" O- c
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 # J, ]( u7 ~9 P9 V2 V$ e W) z
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
9 r; h; E" J+ y" E6 g/ x' E8 RBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
3 J9 n7 H* u2 ^7 sWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) - j" d. X# U" ~$ h! _
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 7 d7 {8 ~2 d; w1 E& C
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
4 j, o/ D$ j- N5 Q1 z" k后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 & ^3 A7 u1 [- V$ s2 b
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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`9 x) P. s6 S警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
' p4 d* T) Y9 \2 L: M p- Y0 r- R* ?Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.9 m4 ^; [( D! ^) L
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 - m& T; S6 @3 o# E
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
1 f7 x" e8 F$ H- \Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
% @6 s: [* s0 R; G6 w- @, p/ t! vWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
; L" O7 m8 D P. v6 qHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
# d# l3 z3 x8 |. ?$ z) Q; }Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?5 p9 W8 J% _: O1 a# o$ @- |
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) , {2 p' i+ A- u( z( _
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
0 H# S; H5 P: \; h, T8 Z9 \Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
+ j( S! b k+ ^( ], E2 N$ SHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) 0 c: L* x+ c0 ~4 J; e8 @4 P
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) & Q1 w5 s8 h2 Y! t. v0 n
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
$ B( [6 g1 a: N; t" F( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) 7 r. X5 m* b* q. _2 X
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" q# B. A: C8 N6 e! t总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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