《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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. z# k! l% U' b9 e# C7 x5 P3 N: P影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。- \4 Z4 S: u( A: ?  f
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
- H; z0 W/ D5 j' J! O* l3 qHolmes: I just picked it up.. e$ B+ s# }2 {2 ^6 {
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
9 l6 O  H+ v8 ^* eHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
" }! Z& p/ Y1 k+ pWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
1 w9 y+ a. [1 Z1 c. XHolmes: You did.  x. r5 N4 L4 Q$ R
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）, ^( c* j2 [8 @6 }+ s
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.$ R) ^* N, n  ]; P
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1 G/ @$ n; p2 s$ \1 A# o$ N4 @宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。+ E3 M% ~0 m, e3 V+ n4 |! p& `
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
+ k9 s% ^/ ]) C  p: ]Holmes: Granted.
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9 }4 {1 l9 P, p/ A. H( V0 x晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
; q& H) ?: `$ |4 xWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）+ m  D7 K* h& ]  F: ]; w
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
3 w, _; l& g4 x$ n$ XWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。. A' O- |" G/ h
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$ n9 Z" @5 u/ zBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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9 _8 j; T$ k! @" T7 r2 \: QIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
9 a) \9 E. b; ~& ?（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）+ ?. n$ p/ {% n3 c& }; K
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?% S2 p6 K; f' d& N8 |  e3 B. c
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）  M7 E& U! V1 A. F2 G" Y
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.4 ?0 z: R7 o% F; }# i% Q
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5 w5 e0 l0 |) `Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。; Q7 ]% q9 I, ?9 s
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
& S; z  N& l9 FWatson: Get that out of my face.( P) d4 W) e% `2 H! C% {$ ^( \& w3 K
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.9 E; q$ w$ g4 z2 |  b
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
2 F- l1 U* R! e% B路人警官Clarky上场。
% B: G$ o5 y0 h9 KClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once." u$ _, A1 M8 u. ~6 p0 ^
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
4 [5 p8 R  b) v3 R: h1 _得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
' c& q7 w, n: L  E! P9 gWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
. o! N( m6 H& }( n: |- K7 EHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.% d0 o' ~4 W" o' E+ V; h! C
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$ Z' W' O4 H7 e" h+ K墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。' m1 l( Z( n3 {& P$ B2 E
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）7 E  E* U. J9 q5 I- ~9 e5 b( t
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.$ j: d0 y9 i9 V' |$ K2 C. y
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）8 w0 Q5 L1 z# E! c0 w4 z, d
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6 l0 F. J& u* L, z* e河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。7 X8 Q) o$ P% q. X+ y( h6 H
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）* y# t8 J, g( b- p" _
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…1 ?* ^2 L+ }+ z6 F  Q% f. J
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
* @+ @& S! P0 m0 o+ d3 d6 I死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
1 N8 l" U% P' f! G3 c3 \Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）- P: e- v0 X* f% d
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
" j4 K& f: {! \+ o* c0 k) yHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。% x4 A' r4 ?  M8 s' t, {2 U+ m
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
1 l0 Z# r, H$ b* v% H话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
+ y4 M, z! Y( PHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
- x, D0 s4 a. HWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
+ B) I- d% I" z' ^Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
  I! L4 U6 h4 U/ LMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
! S* b9 N( q; b( `Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）& e* ]1 W! G5 Z! H4 L5 N5 T
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
6 H; f$ ~1 ]# I/ DWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
8 b) @9 Z+ _5 L$ K  P2 EHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）4 o! F* b! D  s7 c+ m
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）% H3 {4 p+ i: D0 E# Y% f0 j( J
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
" L) \* C( S3 ?（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）  e7 P8 q- m  k5 s$ G5 Z
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7 v# g  u+ F+ I- o3 u总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……