《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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0 g; I9 N. n1 t9 X影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。9 l5 @9 v) {% d( u  N
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）$ z0 i* Z5 l. m7 [2 f6 Z# G
Holmes: I just picked it up., I& Y4 u- z* ?$ K7 ?
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）% m4 I1 M! R; O5 h& ~+ o, q: \- i
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.& [8 W" U( c$ y; h
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
3 r7 [' g4 {  r6 DHolmes: You did." I, @. E& a9 J7 ]: q
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
( g2 k2 E" h; L4 |5 HHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.1 a+ e4 g$ `; X- d8 f
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2 d; [, t6 U% c( r& a  x宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
; Y8 E% |4 b- T% P) [( PWatson: Permission to enter the armory., _0 u6 B, ]9 f. I# Z: n1 j  v
Holmes: Granted.
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' p. L8 I* h$ o: U1 p6 E晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
/ B3 A1 ^/ O& f- k7 |  j3 a/ ^Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）: b" j( @6 Y1 p3 ^  }- u5 p
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8 t8 u: t. c, s% S, {, G( H- y拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
! M$ p$ A: Y7 C$ N" Z, GWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）1 l% `% m' U( _: q" F6 ~) L" h
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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. W/ v" j, ]4 NBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。& |) y9 I$ y8 S7 W8 K: o
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。" f) Z+ O" D" e5 z# e
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）: i7 @7 }: _" o" B2 N( e: Y
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
& `0 c3 ~; W1 `+ _7 A" Z  THolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
1 o2 L  r' \0 x7 ]Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.% H7 ~0 ]' l8 `6 S
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。% J3 @- q/ L! A9 _
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
7 W) m. m9 `8 h0 X" V- ?Watson: Get that out of my face." W8 g, y1 G9 `* K% }
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
" }) C- o/ ]. ^Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.* B9 ~8 |5 o  a2 L. a; C
路人警官Clarky上场。1 C# u9 l3 b8 Y# Q% @+ d' }* t
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
9 k! L, n: `: r; l& W2 c3 OHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
5 C4 i) _. r! B" ~% V+ p1 x得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。/ N1 w3 o' f4 i( {3 q
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
5 B1 C6 a( j( D9 D. C4 PHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.- \' A6 c" h4 y/ e
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
. d( ^% d- z- I$ q4 D4 I（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
/ D8 c% P# Q2 i6 J" WHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
7 J; o1 Z; q! {0 c2 y) x. hWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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0 S5 U- h* {$ Y2 x& Q河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。4 V5 l% q3 @4 m% K, f% Z( P7 w. _
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）* \7 Y* \) X* }$ h
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…, t$ ^: t6 o/ S/ D3 i
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
/ n0 {  y* H2 g0 Q& n4 L4 q死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。" t' n' q5 z3 F& W5 U# j9 E/ Z
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
  _& N; a- [. @4 r后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
3 _, g/ E+ h- sHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）9 k# Q' ]( T$ g( V
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
3 _2 a' j& K% CLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.9 H& }4 ?4 }. O' ^/ Y& ^
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。9 ~+ y/ P$ B2 F3 |
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
  i- E; `. t- e6 M+ q; s& ^4 oHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）% I4 J1 y; t9 Y
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）( B. J/ E! s; G7 P, M
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
8 L  N6 A  j0 D4 h. e) JMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
) p0 d' L" o( n8 `0 g: r* DWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
% `* I# O+ z  DHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）' c4 G# S, R6 F1 [# A8 j+ I8 v$ ^; G
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）: s: e( `" y) _- H  W
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）) s2 D6 ]# S3 u3 S3 v# _# g
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）( t' o9 Y) U& A# e* {( Q7 m8 }
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
& U$ l: \& Y1 {8 @! w% [（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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8 D3 [3 B7 `7 U' U# C/ ^# f) c总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……