《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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# H5 O" n9 z8 b/ P% K( L' u影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。  e2 l/ e1 n; j; O8 M
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）1 u' r% R% X5 L! C
Holmes: I just picked it up.
+ t8 C) q4 g, L" k3 \Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
+ j1 ^5 [! S. |5 WHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
  c5 Y8 p- o1 z. `9 RWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
6 l" u- a6 h& `Holmes: You did.4 v+ r) M( B+ L
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
2 z  s# ]  T5 YHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all./ E9 ?* R8 A5 H$ T" U- l
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9 s# A  F( \6 {) m' x6 M0 X& J5 W7 l宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
9 A5 C/ p6 N1 wWatson: Permission to enter the armory." H  Y( Z) b8 N" }- r2 R
Holmes: Granted.: V1 p" y; A! N7 a/ f' q
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。* e) o! l3 o- x" @: l7 q/ a; [
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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; b: A! m4 x; N# ]: e/ J) l! E拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
5 m. Z) {- V! d" j. ?Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）6 M. D; v9 R6 Q+ P; x; q
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- U, e  g# P( V+ H3 M+ JHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。: i2 w; G  h" r1 h: x
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) Y1 W$ n1 D: ]Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。7 T3 v( d9 M& r
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）7 i7 b( i, O" P6 a, d& J" k$ w
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
! M8 ^8 N! Z' A, mHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
% ~* W# v8 ~5 W* J. [Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.1 f! t. s5 a. o5 R
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# F- [# z* K9 c) A  M% pIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。9 Z8 v. S* K, m6 U8 ^
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）/ q" m8 q7 f, X, q- u
Watson: Get that out of my face.
, \4 R" u# R" S6 T8 W4 j8 R6 vHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
- S, H! A6 k  o( U7 @/ GWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
! z3 b2 b8 n8 k路人警官Clarky上场。1 c0 j( }  [& r$ L5 S
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.$ ^! R, Y# V+ O5 o% }# L
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）0 P1 J6 I; T. Y5 h* e
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。7 s  n% b5 D8 o* s) o& Z
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
' w! M: f; s* N8 \& i- U6 X# i: h: u4 \) {Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。& K, d  i" m& Q7 ]' M2 l
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
( ?( I  |; V6 G5 E- q9 e2 wHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.- x  E9 Q" S$ |0 T# K/ Z$ V9 s$ U
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）3 o6 k% Y, N& l3 L- A  E( y3 l9 _
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。8 _" Y% S2 g2 E. }' B6 Y- ]
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
. M- ?0 f  v% B# w3 VBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…! A5 ^* }- K& f7 X
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
/ _( T+ g6 Y  G) w* A& K死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。% O) U0 v% K0 _* ?$ T6 r
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）, L" ?1 N$ W3 ]& R
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。. F1 ^, F  x) H2 V
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）( u" {+ d  N+ `7 C$ Z5 \
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8 f3 C( k2 v, L% b; W* Q警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
9 p5 ^5 ]+ l+ [3 l: o: m/ ]Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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9 @+ x* n8 r- {$ n8 |接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
0 M" F0 N- x2 L话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。1 o/ F  s1 u% H. H( c! k3 `
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
: d: D" }$ G. f; ]% o0 KWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
3 x( w- [% x, M* C8 a: xHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
$ s% x6 n. P6 KMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
& h7 ]- f# I; V6 P) n' c- _' hWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）/ T) W- e9 L, C9 r9 v
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
  b% b( F! M: |3 E8 @3 |, f- E# gWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
: W) Y% W) {. k1 e, F7 HHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）: x: c! g: I+ X$ h, M" O
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
0 z4 q# c" m: BMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）, q7 Z! v& z% Q
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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& M; @/ g/ ^( E, j总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……