《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。; ~  V8 W/ ]0 X( @% X
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。5 z+ z+ p4 v7 q% m) d: J! n  c* d
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）" j  J# Z$ i) [- G' b8 U2 O
Holmes: I just picked it up.( F) v6 j5 K7 `
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
& a; }6 ?# g! R+ IHolmes: Knew I forgot something.+ ~5 s$ W8 B) F* A& }9 n
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
& c- @; r/ }+ [' {Holmes: You did." D+ x1 j$ }# h" ^. W2 C. e* o
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
3 A% r  Z2 d  Z- ]. V" qHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.: X3 {) Q2 u+ Y1 @# S/ ?  t0 Y- Y
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
  D3 A; W6 o3 K9 fWatson: Permission to enter the armory.- U; B/ p; u$ v% r1 P1 W7 D5 d4 N
Holmes: Granted.2 o2 D& v5 R6 |" W4 b8 e- a2 n
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。4 G9 ^4 h! K3 D& l: B  _, R6 F
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。. v9 q6 d) `! {* [& j2 y8 O2 O
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; `3 T& [2 Y0 p% [& n0 I- MWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
' H8 a+ P# u* qWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）; e3 I  `! K' i/ E/ @+ j  j+ @1 z
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2 w0 V) K. ]; N0 ?5 WHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。. q6 K. D2 m, v0 }9 C
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
& ]+ a9 d5 T* X& x（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）8 \: k& t1 e. p7 I- [" {2 \- a
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?0 s1 C& f0 Y9 \
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）4 w, |& ]/ m6 y( L
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope." C% J& m3 c$ R! g- k: C% _
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
; H! E% \) i6 \% \3 WHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
: I. T1 A/ \+ q3 p. [3 QWatson: Get that out of my face.# N2 }; D- M4 }7 K$ W+ T- b5 G1 x
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.. o. |) v8 p& s  [9 B
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
3 Q: G0 ?5 u" H3 g2 g路人警官Clarky上场。  a& E) K. F4 `# V8 f9 @/ ?
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.: p6 ~" x# K4 J0 S) a
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）3 V4 X1 L7 l: T& w+ Q+ k' K% P- l
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
5 p1 q6 ^: f* WWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?5 O( P% N; Y  H% A% ^
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
' x3 D  ]' K8 J0 UWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
/ r' M6 z$ O4 R: X3 @5 FHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）7 e2 u) n7 O3 R& r
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…3 u8 X& w  i* y$ E( g/ U& e  j" q. _
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
" B  g- V7 ]5 B& s. }# q死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。/ e% ?6 I9 u8 a8 Y$ o3 L; D
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）& H- A6 H* o' N$ X$ _2 a
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。- Y  Y/ r" B( j5 [. a* M$ H7 U# C
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）+ p" R: X5 `  F. |; d  W  P
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
$ l9 R  `% Y# e3 p% SLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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/ g5 O  D: A* m+ C$ K. X( @; Y接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
' |' Q% Y. G- s- ~( d. P. Z话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
2 x: Z* g! M& y- [Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）2 P. Q" d. N' b& x  G# O
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）: `" R, D) q. Y5 n5 Z
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）  F6 I4 h: Z+ q. \. X
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?+ ]5 `( J$ Z" {! e
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
+ H' c5 c; v5 jHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）! R8 U3 P( b$ [) y; _+ b7 c
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
' J& _* b1 }0 ^5 v2 J# g& I" W2 oHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
% v6 Q/ X* \1 ?* eWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）5 b: a- `$ u* m3 D
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
! y; A, e1 x  l9 `8 A/ R' R; b; p& f5 |（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）$ }! [" z, V' Y6 R) o' B8 H
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……