《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。& a7 V( n$ X* E! h9 @  R
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% E1 O. e9 W' x' ?$ I+ F1 t影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。1 e# l4 w' u. B4 k# o
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
+ ^5 z" a9 R* ~6 A0 rHolmes: I just picked it up.
' y- q  k0 v) C! QWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
7 c2 z# I6 W& N$ V: eHolmes: Knew I forgot something., \, V% |8 r0 n  x' w( y$ F7 j; E9 [
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）+ [' J  x3 N/ ]4 O0 l
Holmes: You did.
" |" ^2 U% [$ u" M（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
( N+ \: Q2 w  g0 `$ aHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
0 }" |1 n* X2 T1 D7 P: p8 LWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
! A; p/ J$ N/ E: mHolmes: Granted.
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. Y5 E: k( R; N4 v晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。0 q2 T  O. i% D% O
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）- n8 R3 S- s. N, k# v
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。' H$ F- K1 p0 @& ^- y- }$ ]5 N
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: A" X" D4 Y0 z9 M) N( s+ CWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
8 D; h1 T7 U5 ?- K* E( CWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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' H. s1 ^! T  Y4 c8 CHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。+ J3 w$ F$ P, a2 R3 K
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
7 t5 W' M8 R7 i, @' {Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?: p  N: S" H- i
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）' a9 u8 Q: R# Z% T* }
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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" J! }+ z; @9 ]6 N; |3 g" G2 EIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
* b1 ~# U3 C: r3 v' D6 }; aHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
# U) ^3 P/ X% E) YWatson: Get that out of my face.
; w, y4 l9 W0 \Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand., l' A7 E5 Q& v  m) ?( e7 C
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.1 X* N% E* H0 s
路人警官Clarky上场。
( @# r; T9 d8 `Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
. ]: p7 \6 q1 Y" O! M( J! N4 AHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）0 ~8 d: _0 L" A2 R' k- U- @( F2 ?$ ?0 T
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
+ u' \# o* t7 R8 OWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
( o4 K6 N5 x" F2 Z, d, b; wHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.- u( i* b0 K6 s+ c  h$ C$ I9 f' q3 z' W
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- r' E1 i# O. q: ]0 \墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
: _6 H# A1 h) U9 Y6 Q（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）9 a5 F( v0 w) T& Y
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.2 A/ x3 D' u. H! e+ E4 P8 L$ r
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）! o7 ^- W) c9 p5 r
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。- k7 Y( U) B1 v$ B/ w
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
# y( S/ W% F) L6 \5 w% k+ l) |Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…% P0 Q9 Q& i" J6 v/ o; C
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
6 t, I+ ~3 v- H% B死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
: H: l  \+ y: kHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
7 _" @9 E, b. f; A- _后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。2 l" l2 }* `7 d2 u: m* G. V; i
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。6 ?* ?0 L' s2 b1 [' t: y( b
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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7 p0 l. w' V9 S( d; T7 A+ G接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。' O7 p" d" y' p7 i  P
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。! J; `8 ]9 |2 f' `0 F8 M
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）  i$ D- M7 s4 i4 a; {7 @# J
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
% q& g; E8 W' }3 v9 [Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
, t& T$ ^3 V3 q& y% v/ M8 _% H5 i8 eMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?3 e. v$ h, C( B$ M# \8 ]3 ?
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）, [1 S$ c1 ^1 ], F) H1 X) R
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
7 ~& k: W8 \2 m  b; JWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
/ x4 C8 f9 u) u: HHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
4 j/ c9 T. u" q( eWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）  h( t& q/ ~3 e- d  [( ?/ F
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）* ~. P  F5 ?! L: h8 }
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）, ^( z  u* E! S) y; |6 w8 `* {7 s
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# {+ ?2 i4 I- l: c, Q7 }$ m6 X/ W总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……