《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。7 ~% I& v: z6 p* y; H
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）% R3 l5 q; Y7 G! W, z
Holmes: I just picked it up.. Q% J" r2 y+ [) D
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）( O# J. C( b* A7 ?
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
7 D% O1 N: d1 E! j/ O' ~Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）% }& O, r$ T& G% t5 R
Holmes: You did.
2 t0 L* x7 H7 r$ o7 I1 i$ K（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
0 K" A) g( z4 ]: W. Z: ?8 {Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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% o9 D# _( W7 `3 _1 ~; U宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
$ G' T: p5 P1 i" P/ F4 O5 {4 ?Watson: Permission to enter the armory.0 ^5 j' g' e) A* X' X" [
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
1 A5 ~0 [/ C1 OWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）) a+ T2 e# [( A; F2 ?1 k; D
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9 M* h+ v1 T" q拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。$ T# F- Z- A% b
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。: p" R6 U( O9 Y! m( U& R% R+ n3 Q
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）8 j" o' a% R! a& m3 Z. p8 K. s
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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6 L1 N' t9 @# T# U6 {" XBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。% l! p0 x! k1 J1 a- D
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+ T+ Q' S! D7 n" w( q4 VIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
7 x' E  q# A4 p1 w- M. A9 c$ ~Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）2 N/ p5 T) @  A/ }  b. G
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.5 _1 ]. f, h) r' }! O" P( h
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。3 J( y. x5 {! c* n/ s2 [
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）  }1 O8 n5 w0 J: Q# l
Watson: Get that out of my face.
2 U9 o9 B/ \8 `Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.7 F  D0 X2 B# s2 b6 N
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.6 }& |) x2 ^3 M2 c5 R; n$ L
路人警官Clarky上场。
( c8 o; c& N5 g6 \. N& g1 ?0 x" e# c7 dClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once." E: |) {0 t, n8 Z
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）7 {( x1 ?& ]3 n4 L( K& N! x
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
5 }! L+ G  x4 N9 v" ]% T2 mWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?: {  f$ G! Z$ V) O' P6 r. n4 r) T
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.$ b; D# F- X5 v) I% x; [
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# X9 I  C+ s7 D: F5 o7 [墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
; V& d$ |1 |. b/ y  b（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
) f9 h9 a: X& p' t. }Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
; R- X8 \5 v. M' P3 j9 TWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）* ?4 ^4 P, A2 |2 ^, m
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) M5 O$ {3 ~- F% N河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
. B4 A/ ^* z' t+ N% W) G0 @3 NHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）: L' R; P# Y+ |% a7 P8 Y3 U
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
, t6 A. M- [- Y1 kWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）4 l9 Q! N3 m5 s5 Q8 }
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。- t: L: V0 u) ~
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
4 Q3 P& i; O/ G2 d0 b( {后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。, P3 R) E) P+ s/ y7 B' \* ~9 p
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）% P6 p( Z9 ]0 G) j2 h
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
% ~/ f. k; @+ C* |7 X! j  S( _Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.2 u( Y% ~! v; v3 D% [( q3 @
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。+ q3 F+ K: P# ?4 ^
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
. D& i5 A% x8 P7 D4 vHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）: [8 G7 H" v: [
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
  e7 Z0 Y" w4 t6 E* ]* g3 _Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
: u9 G, }7 ]) |8 O" rMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
9 k# w/ _, q+ z4 S0 eWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）; y0 l3 G, Z: j  i( x% n9 o% j
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
2 [: o' [3 ?7 mWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
3 S( z5 p) H. j2 xHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
: A. i# Z4 e& j- R1 HWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
. B1 d$ R' V2 L5 F- P! a  }Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）* v* h9 C+ m: I: T; u  a- j; J& s3 s
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）: x$ B' @/ c0 g$ o" r0 a
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: k" [% I; |7 t; g: N& ^& i& O总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……