《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
8 A% A4 O6 `8 I- h( Z8 XWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）& D4 e5 T9 V6 r9 L
Holmes: I just picked it up.
3 J2 M/ `# @/ t8 S+ CWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）/ I, d/ u% i1 l
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.8 Y8 I7 l! c' e& _0 ?
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
. x, ~; J# \  f3 [Holmes: You did.
* {. z1 a) P  [$ b# @# S- O: T（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
+ k0 z7 J' `' M& [Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.+ I" d/ g$ w9 `: {  E+ }8 M
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
' z/ `+ M/ T! M8 D. Y4 k3 MWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
5 N* _  [5 g& I$ p8 cHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
& g. j' t7 `& Y5 `, @  I/ pWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）, L; w* R0 f* y/ @' w; t
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。. N1 h) b6 v; O0 C. J& c
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# m& d, O2 [& e# DWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。8 `* b) G( j1 c0 z2 F
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）2 L& L  I- E4 ^; w
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
0 R  E) ^7 X) j& O（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）( _/ L& e) M- g# z( u3 l: X
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
  |# `, ]) q- |! n2 A4 d: RHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）! S$ E3 O* J9 V8 n! U" u
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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$ J: k* A( j5 l; `Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
3 }* @! v; U: b) \( G! e1 e) q% [Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
6 m+ W1 g: O4 O2 K# X. n9 z- CWatson: Get that out of my face.
5 _+ J1 d% U" M0 u' B6 sHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
9 G/ H, L% ~& t6 i/ T, l5 XWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
( r3 X( Q7 j. W- Y. E/ u& l路人警官Clarky上场。9 Z( `! m% H0 j1 [& e/ n
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.$ V0 O8 t( d* t$ O# |0 T/ N
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）- j$ a* a$ D: K: }$ E5 [) `
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。3 N  q7 O" c! j. `
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
% l" O& @7 r/ B+ e+ P! v5 iHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.  w! c; A4 c/ k# ?
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+ j, l* L8 c9 l' l) r5 @0 U墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。2 M3 e. F$ O9 [3 @
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
4 u9 n9 o0 m2 ~: W! O1 LHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
+ P0 Y- R3 M9 |+ tWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）5 i- D# j% }# A5 F( j( l  o8 p
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6 v+ \+ M; \* y河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。1 |3 |8 u  Q' C0 O
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）* {1 t$ m4 a& a2 B/ s" Y, Q9 q
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…7 J8 D$ `2 A( F8 H0 ~
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
) K& s+ Q+ B* T6 L& e$ z' N死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
1 c- H- K  p# ]# ]Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）# w0 K4 e) S$ {! K2 z* U* {! c
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。2 S! G: d) e" S0 K& I
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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/ g& d& F; ?& M0 ^8 m( x警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。/ g% S; _! ~8 A* p2 B! x0 P4 F
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.- t/ n( [( H0 l
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! [, v, X7 ~+ L9 u& R& N接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
7 C2 @6 K9 j8 S话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
! G! G/ D9 ~' L/ Q, ^* f% R4 [Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）" h" e: c* C$ r. t5 I% `' \
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）# _- G! V3 J- D& ?, i9 g
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
; y" U  u' Z! u7 ~Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?/ r! y% \3 ]; E0 P; l  C
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
/ I: n1 ?8 P$ ?) i" p% Z2 s$ JHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
: o8 [0 ~, c& hWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）/ v4 R, e) {$ G( R( F  Y. M, j' k
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）4 G$ f2 J/ z2 d, F0 {7 P# p- [
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
3 b; p( j2 x) A9 V8 RMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
3 f. f: ]3 O4 e5 T! s（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……