《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
' w* c9 q" O* l; d. c' \Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）9 g! K. m0 t, A
Holmes: I just picked it up.
0 P" H1 _5 E6 o2 D3 Q) g. E( HWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）& L! v5 s  P* c6 K7 x
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.$ @; p) z* S8 O+ J0 B6 ]& d
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
! q8 X& q  W0 `: n% B* l( U9 oHolmes: You did.8 |/ {: H( ~2 I$ L0 g
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
/ i3 G2 l6 y; aHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
( e9 q; v3 k  H4 O+ h2 {6 i6 eWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
$ `' f. L; @3 u" H) NHolmes: Granted.) d( y' ?6 H* w3 @" I4 U& d
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。. y* a, O' o9 T( Q
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。/ O+ O# Q$ k5 x9 h1 I
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）4 `. h3 a" j6 H6 r: u5 @* q" v
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- ^% w/ @5 d8 L+ OHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。# u& \: b1 `4 |2 j6 B$ A
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9 Q, J+ j$ n$ `5 T; @Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。& s: c9 ^- C% |1 V0 d
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。' d* u1 h# ^7 v
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）8 L$ `( _' q+ z/ [
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
) m8 k7 M: N8 N1 _. KHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
) u- q- P5 F. Q$ K* J+ w0 @" uIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.6 n# H% \, C" N  U
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
" a; a3 M- m! x1 w1 g2 ?& Y3 u1 ZHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）! h# |2 t3 N: [# r/ [% G; G
Watson: Get that out of my face.
5 F; ^) W9 V: D, Y: o$ @Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.; s' q) x, w9 o
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
/ M( _' v! w3 r+ [& N: t路人警官Clarky上场。
" c" J& {# O  Q  ^7 o' @3 y+ rClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.) F3 k1 {& g) J7 w, K+ n, ^9 |
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）% _( {- B4 T) ^. L: r3 K% N+ M
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。7 L* Y, H, H$ k) q8 N  Y& V; X6 p
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
  P, T% Y2 U- W4 |$ ^Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.3 L' D( r- Y( M! E. h
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
* U) o0 @( N6 J3 [（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
1 ?( z( V5 S+ j$ L' P7 j+ Z5 PHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.* P  V% K* g2 M' C  h8 w
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）" b4 h! w7 V" I1 g: r
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- y, l  X4 Z! l& u河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。) u- I8 o3 U) m) I/ L" @; `
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
0 Q# D: Y' @- VBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…  e% j6 b" R( z
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
* n9 C6 C; d- w7 r; l9 B, E  r死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
7 _* c, h8 R7 ?" k3 @/ |, JHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
: w8 [$ J! r$ O# \4 x后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。7 |& W$ j0 w# W: v* \0 R
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）. E, M9 r* I! R8 _2 h% d$ Q6 ?+ v
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7 a" m- J1 F# {6 y$ V% [警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。' ^( l6 ~0 d6 u" D
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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* h: k* O! S. T4 H6 c接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。+ n6 c7 S3 w6 r. E, F
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
, B7 r. \1 m& Y4 ?) S, C* iHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
6 X! k  C5 m1 A9 J% ?$ DWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
: @) U4 g  r( B. G/ d9 L( QHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
- p5 g" n6 K) E1 eMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
( i! j% d1 a# zWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
6 `' y' r6 i  Z) r/ O+ EHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）2 P% s/ o& Q. q+ T
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）& U1 j% g4 z" o0 w; i% v/ t7 n6 C
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
/ f- Q6 Y. N8 z( h" A, yWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）0 I& l6 u$ f! j  F# i  U: L
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
3 b$ \* z. y2 h" a4 r: x（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）/ x1 A' D& q; I. A/ s
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" O$ h" l1 S3 t1 |# S总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……