《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。) z! P9 K8 D# o. F2 j" A* _
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! h8 A* F& [' B* ]% ?6 m影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。) L9 W& o2 K) G+ u5 t
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）- B! z$ Y5 B. q( d6 x& Z
Holmes: I just picked it up.; J# U. d! ~) I3 }: u
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）9 L7 n9 Q$ B$ X$ h! ~' y
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.% _# l1 D; a6 W+ N; h; K
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）, o* t$ x) a$ n$ [7 w" L/ B$ x
Holmes: You did.. v, ^0 H9 A! W: P* O
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）0 i# D1 c+ |% l* @+ u% [
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all., U. k) h; c& ^  Y6 B
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  C" H: f" {: Y  y; v1 _9 C宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。6 {# q& p: y9 R- F$ U$ `
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.4 b  L& B' [! o3 o" G! |8 s3 ~8 O
Holmes: Granted.# O4 `6 a  u" |8 A, U1 f. A
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
( ^1 M: |2 K3 l$ ]+ iWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）4 `) w- ]. F( d) V* T/ q5 M% H
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; p2 p' @4 n' ~4 h8 W拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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# y$ I' v: B: ^' `7 yWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
/ m/ n8 e5 M- p! V* c9 |Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。" G& \% O, d  f( x
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) Z8 L  S/ ~( z& i  }Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
) y1 Q: ^2 J3 e- `7 p9 R1 e（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）: z' _! A8 t0 v) D: D7 M: y: Z: K2 a
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?, z6 s; G4 S! I) v
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）. N, c4 F. z5 x+ F* ?7 F
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.& `1 a0 W: M6 Y  s9 ^' v
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。. X0 v: `; v, M! C1 {3 q" p
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）$ ?) o7 M6 s9 S' Y7 B2 b9 d7 q0 p
Watson: Get that out of my face.
7 `! ^: |2 x- f5 K9 OHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
$ A* |. n# u7 O% s. \Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.5 h- f4 E4 X: X- N
路人警官Clarky上场。
8 E/ ?5 J' i+ _# UClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.3 I3 {% E0 q4 ^7 T5 Z5 o3 W
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
7 G+ R! i& z! r  ]7 W$ q得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。+ [) l+ K0 O- ^1 H* u  `' y
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
* k! p9 L3 \7 z' [9 L0 ZHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。# n2 L5 k" k1 n
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）# p( C+ y1 n* z% i: e: k5 r0 d
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
( M3 J) k  |& H2 i- r, yWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）* ^1 _- S2 ?3 V- J; u) _
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
0 ]' F% ^" n7 W$ M+ a. F& IHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
: v; j, E0 m! L5 gBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…) q- l; u/ a" P3 ~
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）# ?; p# B% A+ i' {
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
& d- W* ^: T: k6 P! f# W7 uHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
0 g+ n2 h1 G8 y. r$ G& z后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
5 v. c" d* Q. l: o! O5 q. uHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
! {. C  \% U! |4 z, VLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
7 U* j7 H! b/ P. U话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
# K( f7 |! p: u9 dHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
/ h  E+ Z  s* k2 [" VWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）) Z2 n8 R$ E$ t1 J3 h
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）7 u5 O$ f7 f' |5 J+ _2 p# i8 r
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
% {4 A+ A* g3 K+ pWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
( G7 C  |: [- e1 r7 W& R. \Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）7 L; u1 O- V, P+ n7 S8 X% H0 z
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
' P: }5 f8 Y/ _& Q7 a* y3 z# v/ NHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）7 b1 Y: P2 q6 y1 V1 E& x
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）( h- _2 l8 W3 ?0 _7 g, B0 U
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）2 [4 R8 u6 Y  K: m, C
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）0 W4 S1 S0 X- f+ \
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……