《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。+ B  E: k' \- q4 k% z' G
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。  a- {7 z+ \3 t8 t3 J
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）2 s) P6 N  ^' C; A
Holmes: I just picked it up./ ]: `7 P4 C0 e, o9 }
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
3 V. E, L8 Q( B/ fHolmes: Knew I forgot something.) y7 F1 Y" b0 z, ]' O- e
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
7 }' E0 l. O" P, ?6 KHolmes: You did.
' Y( u$ n1 a" q0 L" p" p( s9 m（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）7 X9 A2 Y; w9 z$ u! C! |# ]
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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0 F+ R; n0 q$ R" |4 s宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。! N- {% O5 p5 S
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.* h. T# v2 Y" q- r& A/ z1 G* m# b
Holmes: Granted.3 |0 h  N8 V# X
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4 \3 h' g. Y$ ^' M4 K晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
, z1 F% F, B5 ^7 R! }; L  hWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）, E+ l( a8 W6 W9 g
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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8 \  k# h2 h- K. ^6 ?- b) {" ]9 ]0 z- GWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
- t6 y% j) A6 Z3 z& [Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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5 m0 {- a( p8 i6 ]1 THolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。, {: b$ R) I5 N$ Q
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
! A) ^7 B4 ^3 {( DIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
) o0 Y8 j0 X5 ]% z( |Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）2 M" j( w" g& R0 n
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
! F* H; S0 i' }Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）3 K4 U4 s# U5 L$ }: Y& }4 m
Watson: Get that out of my face.
3 \/ S9 C$ z! Z  Z% s* L7 p% Q: `; jHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
( K0 U/ [: r8 L$ y& o2 j" t) bWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.. ~4 I" m% e2 W' |
路人警官Clarky上场。/ ?6 {4 X/ j* B, Y. I
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
; e2 g7 u, U5 V1 t8 zHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）2 [5 w  a  p* u: s/ O+ ^
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
$ D  C# m& G2 W2 wWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
( ?. [/ M1 p# z) N+ G7 `" `" aHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.1 s9 A3 q  [9 Q" H
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。" B( X, W0 b  i5 i
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
; T; ^( Q# h; P! a2 A5 P; |! {/ }Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
, B- P( s4 m  S/ A  M  w; FWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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2 W- D5 }7 I! {& A& E河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。! Q% Y) |0 G) G6 _6 @8 @
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
/ y0 p9 v; j! E" x7 B* XBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…% E  j) q/ K4 ?; R0 i/ D' `1 h
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）; Q$ f1 E+ w+ ]# K% g6 ]
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。. G" {0 r0 ]) I9 Z5 f/ l, v. c
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
, O' v- F: ^6 t' L- l后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
! g9 ?* D/ _4 N- EHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）/ `; m. P8 R5 j% N5 {: s
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
- \: r% W5 t2 v9 y/ SLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.$ u) E; l; Z9 G$ ^
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
5 }1 ]. s; ?% j" P; H话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
" X  {+ U1 a. aHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
$ x- {2 g$ [2 |: [5 v" M) qWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）4 a6 f& O* h7 h% p- L* e
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
0 T9 B! H1 W) }4 X; _" WMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?9 f. S8 j! M# K( p# M! Q- M
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
0 C+ A' i, Q" V0 h/ z6 hHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）  |$ f5 w; Z' {, f  q( Y, I
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
0 @3 Q/ p! Q2 p- k9 p2 sHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
4 i1 q3 b9 }+ W+ sWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
' E% D- G6 e! GMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）$ \3 x; z: q% }1 P# r
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）3 o. a7 H; q, \1 n2 Y0 G
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……