《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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6 o: p9 \' |% T3 r. G$ [" ]影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
" b( G; U  Q! B: C; S+ a, ?8 \Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
/ h, \0 x4 G7 H' u: t. \Holmes: I just picked it up.
. K1 W. @% x+ SWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
9 x6 c- ~2 B  z4 h. x+ EHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
/ ^2 c  D4 _7 i5 `5 p2 ?Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）% g) Z3 B; g7 M
Holmes: You did.& X: S% {# P: h7 w* O. c
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
& W5 q! ?0 q' e" o5 ?$ XHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
' ^4 [# s3 `8 [Watson: Permission to enter the armory.5 @2 N) x% S! }7 K# A- C$ B# l
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
) R4 N  `7 j3 P. D& DWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。( b0 C& [* x- }8 I9 h- B7 u; ?
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/ y) o, }0 M2 k: H, [Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。7 P5 P6 f) C$ Z% X& ^4 S/ J8 v( S
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）: Q; J; j! C3 F( o9 V: x
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。. D+ L9 m7 C% m
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。9 G. g# u% X/ o$ k3 _$ M# p4 ]( q
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( G: `5 T2 `. @% i6 mIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
8 w) i+ b# v( {; THolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
/ Z- ?  D4 I" |6 xIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.  ~3 w+ ?; N  P/ ~  G, u: P( m1 a
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  I( x: j3 B- hIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。% D" Y  S; F! b" g! I6 N
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）% d4 H' F1 L  D
Watson: Get that out of my face.
" N7 S$ c2 i: EHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.; ?( F2 g- |3 F* w
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.+ H) m8 T, X) A$ e
路人警官Clarky上场。' \6 D% {' m" [* l  k/ B
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
: \$ \4 i& y% N2 G; C3 L$ xHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
: }0 {. X) i3 h# n2 q得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
* M( ^1 j. q+ [3 z& DWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
4 }6 r1 M1 B! P3 \9 tHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.4 L/ X0 d' p7 E4 n3 Q0 k8 j" L7 E! X
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。# w, X( b* f, D( a9 _
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
! j7 C, h2 F9 UHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.: @" X6 J% y0 ~! E& F7 i) c
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。! F( x- x7 M9 v* E% s7 J
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）( Q) D# \1 G( z
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…9 Y8 A4 V  J2 h# \, C' P; }
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）* e2 P$ a  q4 P1 B4 C
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
7 ~- T* Q" o* t4 h: H+ G2 zHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
! {6 \7 P4 m' A- L9 V后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
4 q! R0 X$ E" r  L7 YHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）* v! O& Z* u" O8 z
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。" Q2 M3 F: l9 v9 Q% u
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.+ e/ f3 I( J$ \+ d- b
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。' n5 G8 B( c2 V! p0 F
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。* J( {7 z0 z& ]5 h
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
& h. E1 Z, C* J: RWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）" |. u" \- E) B4 h) y
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
& Q* J- ~7 U% H0 ^; dMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
7 [0 E9 i8 P# v: u7 @9 k# T' |/ nWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）; J" F0 ?7 w4 _% \
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
* {7 b6 B# P! F7 P. fWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）* ?; q) z1 j( }4 O, _
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
5 G6 ^/ k) T2 h, r7 A% z+ zWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）6 J, y5 a5 j. P; W: \: l
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）* c6 [0 [) w& {* c3 W
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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6 O$ H$ ~% L$ e( N3 g) e* r# x总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……