《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。, Z5 u  ]% H# w* m
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: y& j7 X: A, z2 |影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
0 q( ?$ P$ @, u, g) b" b& pWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）, l1 K' a2 l2 z$ v* w
Holmes: I just picked it up.: U' T7 R% ]0 `0 y. L( o
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
! G$ a; R& u% |1 Y+ ^Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
- k  a4 S) b9 d) r5 GWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
7 M5 m2 K# ^$ L' hHolmes: You did.
4 W3 {/ k6 A5 _5 J  w7 w（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
( J7 e9 u3 }3 L9 F. HHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。. r1 i- T! r- y( I4 @. W* k' W
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
' [: J# a4 h3 Q+ y9 N; ^1 eHolmes: Granted.
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% p6 s  `" j; q' C$ a晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
$ `+ H" f5 l& P. c4 W& V% M* r: Z' QWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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0 K  c$ h; r2 b. @  i, g$ u拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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0 W; Y3 Z8 r7 O$ GWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
& \7 s; W* u9 C" vWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。' r7 a% ?( B3 c/ S) {
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
  f, b( Z3 _5 ?$ }（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
- ]9 N$ b) X( p, L' CIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?5 X1 R: Z' S4 v3 V7 C3 _' `' s
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
' X5 b2 Z1 ~6 L- cIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.0 _) ]) {% \, f5 _9 I
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
9 F8 p0 V+ N1 X2 F: K% Q, HHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
0 r1 {5 m( ^# ~0 ~( @9 G* nWatson: Get that out of my face.
, X. a3 a- A+ A1 ^' F! hHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand./ D/ F; H8 X. G9 v: R+ `
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.% B; n7 [9 S; J2 j  o+ u
路人警官Clarky上场。
* \# R! }$ R7 f1 o5 ^" R, F! FClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
% B% m6 O, U9 {Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）9 y- n8 w8 O' E$ F5 q; Y" \( q5 a
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。' P; ?- m9 {/ W4 b! b6 r' U- Z
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?8 n# d' W! i/ N4 j: ]
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.: X% w  X4 L; ^* f9 ^. G9 Z8 J% \
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
$ F8 ~+ W6 U0 A$ z: W4 _, v（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）! G2 p+ p# d- G( A2 \: e9 V
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.5 }* u5 x3 q# a
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
' E: F+ m% e* J8 \" j& r8 AHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
: i; c* V- s9 z1 a5 hBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
, Y# C4 ]' R+ }) ~Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）# B% Z0 Y6 S8 f1 C' g* [
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
# D( h$ M* H5 K# _% zHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
! o9 Q% M" S5 T1 p8 F后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。; M) i# c' t( [3 }: p' I
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）4 h9 h7 p/ _; Z1 {8 ~$ T# O( _
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
" H9 q7 K( H$ D/ Q  ZLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.! u! M7 S3 y4 V6 H# l- h
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7 F* m0 e, |( [接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。  j0 w/ K! m2 [2 w) ?/ a
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
/ p% V8 q2 O, ?8 U# x. T: e" lHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
3 @& v  X2 g6 _# M% x+ }Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）+ \3 L6 \/ w2 Q% |1 o5 ]
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）- q/ }$ H+ {$ i
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?) i, Z! C- j6 F+ ?
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）( R' W. Q0 s5 e7 k8 U' T
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）. {1 g7 S* b' {  Q' h5 N5 C
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）6 Y! B6 s5 v* G# L7 u  f
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
  {: x  r! ^- ?$ j- K& d8 J# {Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
4 g% J' v" @, A9 KMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）$ X4 E3 G5 u8 G5 q; V$ ~8 a
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）& f4 L% b& e" E: E* \
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& n. T. e9 o7 y; [+ b0 ~6 j- N$ U总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……