 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 0 A* S5 @( ~+ q# g
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 + q0 W- W5 O0 j. U# s% y
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
: }) T, }8 [5 c: @Holmes: I just picked it up.
3 S4 ? O% u6 J/ h6 Y* x6 P2 PWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) $ e% w6 `# H. s9 w i _$ y
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.! `0 J+ A ? n' C# j" y, o: P/ e
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) % U8 G2 o" { G) p i
Holmes: You did.
) i4 f, }- f1 C( U/ q" N" {/ d(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) 7 O) _: X! } U( f1 }" i
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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# o8 K6 H2 q+ V$ K4 Q宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
1 N: E, O3 _% E4 t, C8 tWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
/ q3 t6 x( g' H, a9 s6 ^/ m qHolmes: Granted.9 D2 `' z8 [% I) E9 e
3.
7 G8 X, e0 p( ?5 p5 ]3 w0 C晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
1 C3 |/ I6 L7 X: tWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 s. Y$ v2 E( E- H
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 1 _) }9 p5 ?" ]
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 ' v$ m9 O9 s, g l) g4 @6 t1 ]
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 # z" v5 z+ O4 B. u7 l6 }, t P
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- O" L$ g. \( V) k4 vIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
7 F8 ^9 G5 v7 C" T; O( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) / Z) \* G: i6 T9 m
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
% t/ s( h* Z* H- CHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
4 c: o$ s$ g( Y% u5 n( hIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.9 P. z9 d! J2 d0 S- |
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5 Q: r0 n! N# Z/ _0 p4 q# ?Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
! I% l0 t$ d6 M1 i/ j' \4 EHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
# n9 l& M- l: ?$ s/ BWatson: Get that out of my face.
' v, |3 k2 a( z+ N3 `" zHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.% i$ {8 k8 Y2 ~0 d
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
- O, A) C U, V路人警官 Clarky上场。 + f+ Z; b5 L+ x
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
8 J; Q9 W. t J7 I/ y3 p3 FHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
/ Z' C/ j6 m9 f a- D* `8 c得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 2 J9 n2 |: o# ~
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?! z7 K/ ~0 B9 Q0 |8 K$ D! r6 @. X
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.6 I. c/ u. }/ p$ e/ h) f/ b
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& @& A2 j- C9 [# R- A墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 . U" _$ m0 g0 S5 @
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) ) J( U& y7 J) S' ~4 i8 v1 p
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
& G& ~4 G3 G- B1 o9 F$ N" mWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) 8 `& b/ O+ `" Z3 u$ J$ ]# k7 y
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
! \7 ~7 J, [- M4 q6 cHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
8 ]' B9 A% e, T4 wBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
% n3 G. t) q$ a' v. ~Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
4 c& t t$ F* v- z死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
7 d) ~& F) u0 |3 Y% MHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
0 U" W2 x; Z' Q! h: a后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 ' m$ ^" t9 N/ `- f* i/ z" h
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 1 T9 P8 n; I) ?3 B8 v" ~5 W
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
: u, r+ O- T- @# \Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
7 r. P. J* E! M6 P话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 ) }. x: k" q# Z. ?, {) C& {5 n
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) ! b" I0 h: _$ x3 \ {* _
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
3 y$ n$ V% ]/ |+ m/ }% [3 BHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 5 ^) k' j3 |2 A
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?( R7 V) d% T8 A( G* t2 A% |
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) ) {3 L; p$ C) X/ V! v
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) - E7 i$ F: [( W8 A/ e) `, D
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
1 L! t& ^2 w4 C4 \Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) 2 J/ y6 i1 L2 ?( I8 D
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
, q- U _ S9 [% @$ s" CMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
5 l% I! u, P+ ?* I( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) 0 Q& ~0 }7 A5 g) ~' X- q: e6 r" M
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, m2 N Q! O7 \% p, {总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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