《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
* s; w5 Y+ z' U' g& a***********
. U& j& h, C" ?7 g; A9 o1．
5 a7 [! `3 ^" z2 @影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
  K- d1 g# h  _- q# Q8 W- g: KWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
& A. g% q, H% R. rHolmes: I just picked it up.
  a+ a6 M$ Y9 p+ H  M4 o4 }Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
2 U+ b$ n1 k- }" r0 v5 y9 ^, OHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
6 v. `) c! W1 H. w" A6 l: oWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
5 u! k" N1 M4 ?+ W+ b! Z4 vHolmes: You did.0 \& \6 V( |: g9 P. p5 N
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
9 a$ k; |- N# b& y* O$ xHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
- e1 x0 V( a/ D2．; W- X) |9 x  K/ {" z/ l. k9 S/ B
宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
; R1 U. h  \/ ~0 d$ b2 f; c" `2 cWatson: Permission to enter the armory.& F9 u6 ?: Z$ n- O9 @8 h0 b1 W; d2 K) G3 I
Holmes: Granted.
' n6 i) d# Y6 ^3.( H# s! g9 j) q! s) d/ k: k- b+ {
晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
" |1 d% B7 b: M, Y5 h6 w4 ~- IWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）5 m$ U6 P) ~. N0 |8 ~
4．+ k# r9 D3 L' m# u- p. Z
拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
- Z8 X/ s( _+ j. m* L* y5．( G1 m" O6 \  z/ J0 K
Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
1 l. i# M" a: S! i0 p( fWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
/ v  S8 w3 L: q0 Q! G6．: C  [  `- }5 n+ u9 R7 T( R
Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。) ]7 b5 g. @) z8 Z
7．4 ^2 l# p% A( }- l  K8 T; X) U" B
Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。, Z, ~# h+ G) R0 r, ^+ N
8．
- Z4 r) q% O( J3 H, S0 P+ I) wIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。0 Y8 J: l5 {0 [! a& j) d
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
* ]; r0 v  _8 }# l( z# u9 VIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
+ F: e8 G+ B+ Y% N' jHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
: g8 x! K. v! v- E' a  `Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
" n& E8 Q) K7 w+ B1 ?9．
5 j: Y0 Q6 Y5 K6 J0 I4 AIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
9 @0 w* x! J# d7 RHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）( V, r/ v, [3 I. E( Q# U
Watson: Get that out of my face.& K9 d$ |* y* o* `" r
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
1 j9 c/ p' K) V1 P4 gWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.5 C) [: V- l2 k) W
路人警官Clarky上场。
2 ]$ Z5 y; `2 H" A9 V  }Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
. E4 n2 L/ l5 @Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）3 n5 G+ u& m+ [! C/ A$ j
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
. t' Y; Q4 d% z% T4 Y; I) \Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?  m: V0 h' F& R. x2 d7 \
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.* s4 \: }& c- |
10.
0 M  }0 I3 F2 j墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。) Q4 }# `4 z( U: Y" L$ c! W/ n* n
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
' p. |. U0 U/ _; l! O  BHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
' e1 A$ w- P4 ^. n6 u3 LWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
2 g$ W1 g( i. ^11．" G( K: s4 v, k
河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
  m/ g  Z) ], iHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
  H% B8 G0 d- B3 H" }4 FBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…& p1 N; z( F4 Z1 U: i: M6 B
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）9 C9 k9 ]$ S4 w( P! M; d1 i# }
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。& i: T/ H* Q* ]! A: p  r, F" X( w
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
8 r: w* F2 c2 V  x9 ~, X后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
% e, i7 `/ v2 d" NHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）6 W  ]5 Y9 q3 u% W% o% a
12．" `1 Q9 {8 U7 ]& D+ R3 ^
警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
( ]1 I* ^6 P/ ALestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
- r: I5 ^; `' t% ~' w13.0 H9 _: o$ d$ Y
接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。' H8 b7 k' l8 `4 j
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。) s4 O3 E! O& ?( L1 ]
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）" s% I% u1 e% ^# }1 C$ I
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）: v) B. B1 t7 ~, {! {8 ~0 S
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
! b* p" U) Q6 j/ X5 ?. }' M% sMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?: u! j) [. {& ]( }3 W9 r2 d
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）/ [  h0 Y9 j- y% Y* A2 f, t; Z1 ?. v
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
% M7 U0 s% N; ?# _! |Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）# a- a/ t5 U0 ^+ B( B; S6 }
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
: j, _5 x. ~, K# M- G" T2 }1 OWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）, s/ ]9 U3 ~1 ?  X3 [
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）& q9 n* T( H& C2 W2 j5 s
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
( B* l  Y' j/ Q* \***********
7 }: m* l( l+ G( `2 s总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……