《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。! p/ p* U  e/ V" t3 ^- G- g6 t* h
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）  v3 D" ?% y! e  g5 S
Holmes: I just picked it up.2 K" u& M% @, S/ @  @2 D
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
- i1 Z: `, C5 s4 G( M4 ~Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
5 t/ E4 i0 c0 R2 FWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）; O6 U. z: P# i7 M( N% H3 z5 e
Holmes: You did.1 |. p+ Y" J9 L. |
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
& G& y' M% o- I5 W/ FHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.' K! `& {, T8 |; P* ~
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7 N7 K/ L$ |& ]$ I宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。# |- B# L3 e  ?
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.3 c: _- `6 M5 l+ ]
Holmes: Granted.
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/ c7 N2 T1 Y- I7 x, h晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
+ |" O5 P: i! `2 b' ^Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）2 Z, H8 k; H7 ^  z$ U
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
; p4 b5 K% P; |2 Z. [  n, O' EWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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7 J1 @+ q2 p, HHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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% @. c/ @" c9 BBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
" Q. f+ T- ~* m+ u, s% {5 lHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）% E: b7 |) d5 O6 O# k
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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7 ~' V3 f+ C! o7 |Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
! I( k0 Y6 s5 j4 n( SHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）$ \0 k& d5 ^2 a8 X- Y
Watson: Get that out of my face.
! w4 i8 U( T3 P* b2 g' }/ f# ZHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.0 \& \$ Z5 o$ ?0 ?+ _5 C1 [0 y2 K
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
  w" R: \9 n5 W4 F6 I路人警官Clarky上场。
/ \2 M* i& b* a4 b* N4 N# aClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
8 A5 g) O( G' f( dHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）5 E0 Y$ P! u7 x" X
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
& p+ g8 Z+ b, [+ I9 xWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?+ C. C2 G' u3 t+ N) I& Y; o
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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% ]. H$ A1 |3 X( `8 {/ f/ k& G墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。1 [. i. v3 ?1 \" L2 k- ?
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
* K) @; k0 G0 u& f3 e; yHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
( r9 o1 r8 t6 b: k2 C6 H4 q. LWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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/ |" t  j6 j3 Z" v1 B9 x4 f河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。' B; z  ?6 B; B  u2 X
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）" d9 N3 `* P/ u# a5 t6 L
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…$ |1 A/ j4 {/ @2 O' K
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）) @1 c6 J/ k. k0 @  W+ k
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
. E( Y: T% [9 b1 iHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
5 |" h) Y' S0 r9 ?; n后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。; F$ L. R# _! w
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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% Q. Z/ _# M3 x警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
' I8 V; B/ U: `8 |Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.5 V& s- X+ c1 D/ ~
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# g; K, C. {( |! z  V* v4 e/ ^接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
8 }9 M" |% M3 P7 A4 p话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。" r9 C, c; G% [
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
3 A1 ]1 e  s5 s/ u  }) \Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）. s5 F+ D/ k7 S$ ^
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）- |5 e/ x+ Y2 v6 E5 y
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
/ F) F# J- e- {5 G, zWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）' [; S- C3 D3 x& l& I9 c
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）; W$ g) z6 N1 h' o. G
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）- c5 }" K5 w% f- B& N( E1 q
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）# C" E8 U9 h  u9 D
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）- x+ U: [0 O0 y* l, T# f6 e8 m
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
1 v* j) ]. q5 u（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……