《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。/ O% g. [: K: |
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3 ?; H% H' Z- X" u6 t. N影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。# {8 m+ `8 j$ D/ o  ?# y
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）& D" Z  l7 q2 g
Holmes: I just picked it up.; s4 J0 E# B8 u* V1 ~
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
6 Q7 n. E1 m! R2 X, oHolmes: Knew I forgot something.; S1 r& T& T: e) }2 F+ e1 B) O
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）. q5 R& l; E. K  p6 Z" N  }
Holmes: You did.( i6 r5 u+ `. P4 U' C- l- F; i
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）8 |' W0 U3 z, b, e2 S
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
" s  o7 [2 y! M& zWatson: Permission to enter the armory.& b7 S; m6 n. h: f; D% A% k
Holmes: Granted.
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. D7 O1 ]; a; P; H晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。6 F& j: x6 J( w% ^
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。5 {0 p1 A2 L! l5 G) ]
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
1 A) t: g* Z- u' H0 t6 d6 KWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）0 x6 I- X5 E0 c/ h  K3 C
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& L2 d4 U% \- s2 c+ O9 FHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。' n% ]! K5 X7 \2 o; U
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+ W& E9 v1 r) U, ]9 h; q# qBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。; \/ ^/ _' J7 m8 r
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。8 m' ?* i* O! D) d6 M$ J# x- u
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）8 X4 Z) X6 M8 e* {. [. ]4 P+ `
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
) O& x1 q9 z: G1 ~Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）, K' w& Q% x2 Y" z, u$ P
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
: R' ^4 j. K9 c# }Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
' T# n9 E) w- n; ]8 }9 g8 qWatson: Get that out of my face.
% X- o) R) U& Y9 [3 u. T5 g2 Y- PHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
: G+ [: B- V1 I/ d: wWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.# C1 ?5 {  p: A7 S( _4 @
路人警官Clarky上场。7 z9 X, \9 t0 B5 n
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
3 p& R" u7 J6 }1 i$ N  s  pHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）# w9 y1 I& j/ g
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。0 u3 i9 b  f1 f# K9 Y# R
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?4 X& D+ e6 y; v' e9 w5 b! o& z$ |9 q
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.9 A: ^5 X+ I. Y! P6 Y1 l0 v3 H
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3 z- s4 C$ U  |( v# I$ l& a0 s$ `墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。3 u4 F- K. y6 r" Y$ r
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）1 C& i6 }; ~' w0 h% J' c
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
" p& U" N0 W5 B% ^0 T, D* d0 PWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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6 k$ R5 {1 S3 o" S) z: f, f% R河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。/ \- w# a" l6 F0 J  h
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）5 ^; s3 ?7 i$ D) y
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
! U: v% x8 A4 o4 T$ M8 jWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
' I4 E/ G1 l. m2 }死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。% c2 ^4 V. G) V2 G7 x0 U' a- q
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）4 _( ^, C1 y8 ~# Z5 ^( o
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。* V+ N4 ?$ [! ^& W- U% K' F
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
( T, m2 s& U0 l* h2 nLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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6 O( r2 o- \; r6 l接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。+ A5 O6 X( z$ R8 x
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
0 x$ z& s0 p- s, L' hHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）$ C6 \7 H2 o2 W
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
. j3 @- v" O' D9 Y2 A9 QHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）) s+ }$ F: W) D5 `+ E( H
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?, u, B, g, M( {8 Z
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）  |9 {" |' d+ b" d# U& o
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
! V! e! ]" I5 y1 g! ^! u0 RWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
" z' {  R6 v+ N2 A8 ^. }Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
( V; [7 V: `1 u2 DWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）7 a( p* ~6 Q; f: \  U0 ?: |
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）) L, j/ U& \0 s
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）& w0 n9 y- S9 a% w
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4 O/ |, e. z' e. O' o' l: }9 q" D6 m总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……