 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 " ~, e' k: q9 Z% F, N( Y; C
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1 E3 p0 m! }) P& K影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
: N" y2 c+ Q! Y; S! CWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
! V" `% N: g# gHolmes: I just picked it up.. Z9 j; x! [6 c0 G9 p
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
: a6 V3 ~3 B7 ]2 Y0 rHolmes: Knew I forgot something.9 c4 D0 W0 X5 l5 P. T' |* C8 W, u9 |
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
% m; S- e$ M* p. d kHolmes: You did.
. [9 g2 Z3 Y; w# ]: }(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
- u. V# x9 e& m: ]' y) yHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.! j, _4 c! V/ c- u$ K
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& U0 D% ~! d+ z( \* \宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
4 H, X7 k9 h8 W, g( D# [Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
( a4 H7 k9 e9 e6 ~Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 ' B6 ~8 P; v3 c* _
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 8 |: M- w1 _: z9 y
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3 Y( w$ U1 I' D+ t2 `拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
5 b, G# j5 i, a. q; O$ ?Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 1 R( x. }1 ]* L7 J3 E
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 4 k2 j% j0 H) t
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( d. Z9 Z# Y- w9 d! \+ N& SBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 ; S/ [' E4 J9 w
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( A+ x6 \' F# L6 g9 l1 rIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 ) U4 d7 d& A8 U, C$ c
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
. V6 C) V/ U1 w% w% i; IIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?6 H* E# z8 R; z! ^5 x; S
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) : t% }( k/ _% j5 I C
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope./ P. C; ~4 a: m8 O) \ r1 I/ E; N
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+ t% E% Q6 z1 o/ S( f5 I3 PIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
' r9 [( B) v- qHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 4 _; _5 o, T4 E8 x, E
Watson: Get that out of my face.
+ k: v- ~& R% }" E9 i5 FHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
* o$ n) r9 A$ o; g, gWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.+ i+ ~7 q! J) A" ^. e( F0 C
路人警官 Clarky上场。 , V7 U4 F! h, l! ~8 t
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.6 f% E! f' X) v7 o
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) 4 n. X( [ w: f# H& \! \* k
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
: M# ]7 W, `* y# j; U2 U( qWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?3 I; ]) ~6 I x) D q7 Q! ~
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.7 \, E1 I, |3 D/ r' R
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 , m3 U: F. l( s' Y% C4 J: G
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) + z; I4 I! u K* P
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.! s! R# E; k* W* `
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) 7 W$ ~1 ?; _# I
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$ O1 t6 f1 V! C' C2 y, Q# b/ L. t6 K2 J河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
' S: R0 ^! C3 @3 h# G- YHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) - q* F; q" S( W; z0 x! r. k* S
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…$ p+ M; }8 R$ U& b K4 q! y$ F
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) % b0 }5 H& c! V3 Z$ r- y
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 2 B; J8 c4 t S8 ^. D+ J2 x
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
. |' W1 K8 B+ e4 h5 S% J后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
$ B! c) s; m- _1 r" G; e. N' LHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 5 _* O2 _; H5 V" n ~
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 8 O$ m3 g/ @. A9 O" j
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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- q3 S5 e/ M1 A! {; i0 Q5 x% {接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 ( L1 f A! J1 m; Q: W# F
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 4 |/ H7 d$ N+ _2 ]
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) ; x7 B/ h4 I. N( u
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
' j5 i/ N, O" MHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
5 n- v+ }& r5 m8 z) zMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
: _" J7 B1 q+ R. P- i7 d" `+ X- N" F: dWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) - l% l, y! R. f5 e1 ?
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) , U& O, \4 z' n, \
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) / Q( L$ M. \7 L8 W
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) ; n- m$ n, ~: r" ~1 z# i/ e" q3 v
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) * S [# A0 f0 x$ G& j/ m. b% Y) m
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
6 L9 _' |- b+ {5 Q7 J( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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