《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。8 y  h( Z$ V: v
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5 m/ V+ z3 @, J影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
2 [" V  k/ T1 t9 d! P/ TWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）  ?- b+ ~1 X9 x/ ^6 X8 z8 w
Holmes: I just picked it up.# ^& B' ^8 j! r( u
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）8 s7 r8 e& z1 L8 I; ?% H
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.- K9 V. O  v% X5 w$ E
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）8 \8 A" R, Q8 k2 H4 v
Holmes: You did.! r8 ?' \: s, C3 E* k
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）& f6 W3 ]/ G* ?- v5 M
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.% R/ K% ~9 y: p& S- E9 _- \  Y  F. a
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
: A5 D. T6 y& q/ x& rWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
# D% ~- ?& T3 t+ R7 q/ VHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。  M3 l( T5 {1 R) E; z8 j
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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! @. S* Q& Q5 H2 e7 W1 A; f# t0 \拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。6 f' o5 ~+ a. k2 V7 a1 j4 S* l
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
% ?! B# j# G  j" B, N; aWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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8 d1 ]7 k9 {* ]  I) F+ O2 GHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
1 M7 W5 y. @, T% |5 m* S（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）( J$ z% L) P6 |+ \0 }; }0 X* }8 Z
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
6 e6 y/ T) h) ~; ]5 _1 tHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
) g' a0 v# z4 M/ |Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.; a0 i$ o0 d" I0 q
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。2 ?) C5 |, ^/ b- i( t" e7 D0 h
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
, {0 O4 |6 U0 V6 o2 f' R( x* j; jWatson: Get that out of my face.6 \. ?! S8 O, b) m
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.7 x7 c3 v6 K' ?; }' A' R
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.% I* T0 F) f1 F- f
路人警官Clarky上场。
" K1 m" M/ w7 H6 ~7 T$ N) X9 XClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
/ E8 l! _& a$ O' F2 THolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
. ?' g2 W. v: P5 E9 J$ V; R6 b9 T得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。, ~; y0 u! e2 B2 U2 M1 v
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?# G6 _* S! Y% U& z( e( J
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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3 ^( X+ v/ j! }% r8 t0 @9 Y墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
1 f3 t# {2 a4 l! K1 Y, J（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）$ D5 Z0 M: s- w- S
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
+ t/ Y! |8 D# e" ~+ MWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）8 w' ~; _+ w0 Z  M7 r$ C1 f
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4 r! i" l9 N% k3 f3 D: s河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
4 s- p! k( r7 F7 f$ F, U/ W0 G! y  oHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）1 q  ]5 P: _! Z$ ?3 |# _) F
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…2 j2 X* g; b5 B1 ~4 B# M
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
0 U6 [4 y5 a, [: v  q+ ~! X3 W死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。9 K2 q: U) j& T
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）* }- `% ], ^5 u$ p
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
- I6 B7 w* q) X# D. f: [2 V4 {Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
$ I" ?+ L! A  g+ R7 i+ s6 ~2 oLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。' G6 \; D3 W" D$ i: c
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。* g; f7 {. I  R9 H
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）3 J& Y; I5 \7 D' s& q' v
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
$ e+ Z5 U) z8 V8 I8 K9 WHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
. e8 r2 S0 k: j, LMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?/ L' R2 n. c! ?* a; A1 G
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）* O8 y( a' v, O
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）% u4 K( D# j, s. V$ c$ ]: h$ a
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
3 H6 w* d0 y2 O. m& \* G+ i' hHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
9 K0 ~4 m; z2 s, i( lWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
" W8 ~- [9 L4 A9 X$ }( z8 XMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
- [# r- J) [+ M9 ~- L" B（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）# V  Q7 G  p( s0 h& o; x
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……