《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。. o1 n5 L& v- B) h+ G; a
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）* e9 ~( x9 V9 `9 N$ N
Holmes: I just picked it up.
( a- j. _+ f/ z6 l, bWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
' z  D" E% Z. |0 D- GHolmes: Knew I forgot something.9 ^/ U9 L* O6 A# V$ G
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
6 S' G. @) }/ A4 |% W* p0 tHolmes: You did.
2 b* S! ?) I& K4 v5 O（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）* o' P3 x. z5 A- p3 `4 [8 b3 K6 [0 v
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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0 i* R4 y3 U. s2 Y& z1 [宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。# U3 Q  E% A4 p4 w
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
# i( k2 X! p3 J- M7 cHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。4 E7 ^  e! Y6 ~3 h7 G, A  o
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）6 R" M0 g* j, P7 n- `; C+ n" P
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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7 N+ E4 p7 @0 ]- B( g. TWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。1 T' n( M3 z8 _* {, A2 U" r3 h+ K2 k
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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# G. G0 H& |5 _9 \  E! v/ UHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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% c5 ]4 R% O' k  S. y0 K/ K) |Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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" f& ^4 D5 a  v2 T) X4 f. w/ RIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
0 L: X4 A: x* o  X) t（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）6 D% X2 l( a% _) [3 a# a
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?# J1 s) H% ^% E, h6 g
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）& r2 h3 z- P1 D1 r1 D2 c) \
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
; k$ X. I, x8 [( F& CHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
+ K4 P5 t' \4 U9 j+ XWatson: Get that out of my face.+ I$ v9 }' Z* A( y  H" f8 y
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
5 @8 g$ R3 q) g4 Z* aWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
5 ~8 t3 p8 O7 J路人警官Clarky上场。
# u' e4 x/ R( ^Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.5 ?. G: A/ n: @0 |
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
  e8 y; q- F$ |5 C* D  Q; T得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
+ a& _' M. \. rWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?* Q$ O' T# l4 @7 F/ n7 @( N
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.' X' I* Y" |7 Q$ W8 Y' S6 `& |% A
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。' I1 `6 R5 d( k$ b/ _! o. }! D
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）  k0 A$ p& C9 J; G9 ^+ O# M$ m& u
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
0 K- A. l8 e* c9 i: U1 V, Y+ VWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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* M1 N8 X! ^. E# g/ {河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。* r8 h" z. ^& F  X2 _7 t" q
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
+ N! l; L* a& W7 R+ }% d0 ~8 gBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
# |+ u8 t8 W0 A' P+ UWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）7 N4 Q2 R' }8 t, G$ O8 |1 v
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
: _: H7 R, |6 b# P8 x* K8 E8 {Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
8 @6 m6 u4 A; k2 ]# ]后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
/ f' u3 n( H8 H& `3 c+ i  @0 KHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）1 V8 d+ G8 q6 Y3 `
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; h0 u1 M$ E& e8 V3 {警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。, o0 Z1 w  [8 }
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。% F% R1 g  m* _
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。0 {+ O) z+ s2 h. Q$ M% h6 c
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）1 N! F& s, I+ ]1 {* M
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）3 M+ C3 Y" z- W0 q% [
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）, M& U: M1 L0 W0 E2 }( \# E
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?3 I. \4 @! t2 E+ @; Y4 T
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
/ S4 m  {4 K8 D9 C# vHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）% t' t: V3 t2 u! [+ G
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
( U! e% \4 C5 `Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
% I6 _3 R% [9 U$ W5 O& g& pWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
4 ?& W6 {7 H0 a. ^6 B0 Q* u5 UMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）4 ^! |5 s& p' s% J) y; K/ h
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）- p8 M& B; s  B; j0 s; ]
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* C3 U0 E6 T1 }8 Z! o9 e* v; N总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……