 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
. X; a( |# Q- j0 B( T& @Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
& k0 M3 m, ~4 w( U2 b. f* q% r, t& HHolmes: I just picked it up.
! k9 x# r$ l+ cWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) . n/ a; M E* n, q0 ^! h
Holmes: Knew I forgot something./ B$ @/ S& h5 y* x0 v7 f9 F
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) ' j( z5 @ Q- @; A3 K
Holmes: You did.
; r ` c( q: W* F" E(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
0 m7 v* `: `, v' DHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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. L% v% G( ^7 W$ x% E( G6 t9 s宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 $ j( C7 D3 }4 D& d+ u* k9 {- @
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
. \ s! u, K0 `; U6 KHolmes: Granted.
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7 f7 p' ]7 h/ |' _晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 " c4 j/ {; O4 j8 n
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 " j8 N7 R. g; f. l
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) , W3 A! y; @: C, W
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3 l5 Y1 X/ I- ~# O( m2 r% |- e( uHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 . U1 r1 V. I, d( M
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M; w% X* w% F' }7 ]% yBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
: w2 E, f# u3 I3 e( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 2 I3 y8 p* R/ `3 h6 J
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
1 E+ _2 O# P* n" T7 j. aHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
- \. ^* G2 X U9 zIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.' q* c/ ]2 h" j* Z, a P
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
2 @6 L, m- j7 w0 GHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) % q# i$ q8 ?& p) I6 A* p6 F
Watson: Get that out of my face.
$ m1 {9 C3 P/ THolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.: \: N3 j6 v" _, |0 y) I, F
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
0 J4 x$ D, W* H路人警官 Clarky上场。 % `3 ~" N( l# l4 B! W
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once./ y* C, J$ H1 v$ E2 r8 {
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) + |- g3 c% a& U2 A/ o3 d
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 / ^' T3 K8 z! q* v6 p
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?; ]; X, n, e$ b( h9 [8 s5 |, |- w
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.* U: E" g, p; c5 U
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
3 B) S i; q7 T( u1 `8 V& J) j( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 0 p' F9 U/ m: |# a
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
3 i0 ?; X9 ]! _$ pWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
1 x' x' r0 B1 d5 s( J' IHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 8 Q* E& x' d* F
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…2 D- e4 p% P( O) s
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 8 A3 u8 }" e1 d: N
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
6 x/ ^6 d- ~& V0 ~( AHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
# I+ Q. `3 Q4 h: }2 [) E3 c: h$ R后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 S0 g# V, r. e6 q' Y, }9 H
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 8 f: D, o3 m8 s* p" Q: z
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$ C L0 X5 p$ u2 M8 H- B: s+ Y1 R警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 4 e. x5 K# Y6 J/ f
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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/ }/ Y7 D. G7 u# h& J* v4 V接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
; w% I3 l* |7 {& V8 L6 L7 C, p话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 b5 x3 i1 j) @6 N f8 h* L3 n$ I; X
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
3 y/ l9 Y7 J2 y$ ]6 _& K% A% {2 WWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
/ n' p& r5 _8 e/ |- tHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
3 l p' _8 D. S2 n3 a& FMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?8 x# Z" @& `1 u Z, c. D8 }: J
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
; s) ?, P+ D) G) V) hHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
0 i- Y% O! h3 [& i$ }Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
' T; U9 ~* ]4 t) W+ sHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
3 G7 a8 I2 J w& S9 Q4 J3 i# uWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) 8 K$ h5 | @( H4 `2 @+ u8 n1 V
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
" ~ }7 c; \( H i( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) 1 E: z" i, b& z$ e+ x! _# D" j g
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8 E" c% t% W; @' W! W) U: s总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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