《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。8 {( T. w" H* c* q
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0 o, r5 b" r" s2 U% f; [影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
8 d' A8 V+ e- q3 KWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）0 L7 g3 e. D& ^! q
Holmes: I just picked it up.# U; r' E/ q4 j* p1 l$ {
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
2 C/ r9 b' C1 h# [Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
/ G, `* m4 U, e  z+ RWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）, Y$ R! s' K7 p$ l5 B+ e; H5 i
Holmes: You did." v2 M' Z# v+ d  Z/ D
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
! `" A; e! M; c% Y% wHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
! ?& s' q2 T8 [Watson: Permission to enter the armory.5 _7 d% {, [  I( n& [* d6 T
Holmes: Granted.
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; B& f- O% a. I  L0 V晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。" v0 i/ ^1 v' }" P+ x4 a) i7 h& s
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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0 C# x, H5 `+ J* c" X; G4 S4 w$ m4 ?拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。6 a# _- N3 E* S
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。; p8 L6 f* C7 G) C# k7 p9 A
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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, I* H# o4 i& C+ v$ ?3 s8 z- XHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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6 y2 F; _5 l' a5 Q. ?: SBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。' K% f8 J' B. `- |7 Z$ B
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6 \. ^6 m) l3 b) X; e; ]Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
6 i2 f* n! `- E4 `6 |（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
' s0 O# g7 i! ?' z$ WIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
7 S, t0 T& l2 `: d5 B- P" [Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）- A/ {6 `: Q7 l& L& v$ }, m
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.& {# D, k3 F1 [2 |6 x+ k0 t
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
0 f8 [  y. i1 rHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）2 }& @: |* P8 S6 w3 m9 s% u
Watson: Get that out of my face.
9 q  i; M' V1 k. v  NHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
3 P) @% h  V( KWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.# `, E/ n7 @: i" `& K0 V% ]
路人警官Clarky上场。" a: m" w6 P. j( ^# T
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.$ m% p9 V1 P) G7 X, |. r1 i
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
) P/ u- e- q; n9 k: r6 P5 d得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。8 w( L0 d/ e$ Z) F0 F, N  h
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?4 P* `7 A& k; O( Q/ M5 }# A
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.7 p; f* `$ w) S4 U
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
4 y( f2 d) o+ L; D（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）. ?# H$ z0 _, W' z" j' M, R% c4 P" L( f+ R
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.& w2 I4 P  B) t( w2 t
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
! {" W3 ^5 ~8 b* e. g+ UHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
8 W  K0 o. {! a8 U9 T* cBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
5 G: [& F( I$ i, KWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
' ~9 G. o$ h- a* M死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
1 d- U& l$ F* O8 uHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）& H4 ?9 p5 d" z' `; [1 @  e4 n& f
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
; ~5 i) c3 o2 d/ u2 `2 t8 o  e7 JHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）5 _/ b" i; K/ b' T/ s7 L1 j
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
( {  g' v2 w: e9 `! P/ HLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.; g! T/ \0 [2 Q) Y% O+ P
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; m8 i" w* H4 v! b, ]$ D接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。4 ~( q, ^  f5 N* ]
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。6 W; e* P( l  f4 O5 b% o
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
& E' A! u; O; Y3 h5 i& EWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
" o. o- @7 M" {* r# j5 IHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）9 v1 v  j: X1 v% |, L- Q
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?. {; K* H  @' l0 {, }
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）# e& |$ U# R. F  A
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）# Q+ i0 r. R! `5 Z
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
8 ]' j1 `' O8 C0 e5 X1 VHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
4 T) N1 E' y8 e0 u1 J% F9 NWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
  _! r+ Y9 J7 B; D# k6 zMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
: Z, v- O5 `& ]* V（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）" y5 N: B' ?% d- g! z+ y2 t3 S
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……