《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。# G9 N1 n5 g7 v3 `) b
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2 O6 H0 q+ }$ V# J! ?2 t8 H影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
3 i1 j9 `0 b. F* C, YWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）& u' u1 p7 h8 N" J3 U+ G1 |
Holmes: I just picked it up.
( W" \( P7 m/ \2 rWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
6 ~  V; Y' ?/ e- J. tHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
( D, K4 s* i9 C2 i2 ~) ?Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
; W% ?$ M1 c4 @' T" L- o/ T- [; kHolmes: You did.; S8 T+ b2 i, \' w, e  S
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）" ?0 J# A5 M5 [, J# k; R9 g7 u
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.1 D" Q) r4 }( t/ O. ~5 {% b
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, ^, Z( y+ M! R" r% Y$ |宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。2 c, a7 I- x0 ]; o0 Y' y2 W
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.' \% R- F( Q' A1 Q6 a& H% c
Holmes: Granted.
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! \, x& n# N0 P( u9 g/ f5 B. N0 h2 _晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
7 X& u% U$ @8 K( J8 }" f7 TWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）" n) ~; q$ @) @. }7 d
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
7 M+ m0 ^4 ~$ T" j3 C8 h3 QWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）4 m. X9 A0 U% p  d; G
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。5 w% o9 n2 d- I% r( S5 Y
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5 J8 g6 Z: _2 KBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。/ E1 P& [+ G+ R
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5 r/ K, f; s! G9 @Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
; O- u# n0 j9 F% C; \Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
; I  F4 A# h. x  xIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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( x0 z! |1 B- d+ U0 i$ ?2 `Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。1 S" k5 _  W. k
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）7 m# z1 `) I1 e: [6 K! V9 `
Watson: Get that out of my face.9 J" ~, H2 ^) w  G
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.0 g( P/ n  y9 w  M8 @0 Z
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
, Z5 P( X& w. H. V5 R5 a9 ?- F路人警官Clarky上场。
$ Y/ a, x3 w( i$ ?4 c" q+ wClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.2 f. c2 z: K8 R  y) D' J" i' @
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）1 N& J; p  E0 H  a0 g
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。! M! b9 F) O% n# Y& M5 m2 T
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?' x) }2 y. F4 Q" I2 ^
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.: I8 j2 U  H  [" r. C
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
% u* b. r7 p' D# s" J（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
+ S9 X: G) J$ i5 t! |5 ?Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.9 y5 C8 u: t8 ^
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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1 s/ Z6 l& b5 H* k% k6 ?河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。2 w6 ]8 N2 ^7 o' {& B
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）- d/ F8 O# U! u4 e& J5 [4 S* j
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
, e: S  ]2 N7 u, C: R' L$ i" eWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）# V8 s: a, U# d& O! W4 \
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。. R. e) n9 C: I) Y+ D
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）# i) b1 o3 V' h# W
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
" l  M" L2 W9 n( X" E+ i9 _Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）) v. g0 w' V' ~8 C" T  S, S  X( k
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6 t9 J9 Y1 w& [& D警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。2 k* Z1 w. f3 ]  I3 t# q1 ?
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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- E# U# i" H! H接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。/ n' u, r% w% d5 A
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
0 E7 \7 r) |" G0 ^Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
# u7 I& c. v0 `; u* b; Y+ Q" i! EWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
3 w8 \% |5 e3 D* c  K+ UHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）( `" K: S7 [* k  C/ H
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?) }. V0 o  x' n" `9 b. |* P
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）' I' s# l/ y, X& F
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）. Q$ c9 B) ~; @# y8 c
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）3 j$ S1 c2 X/ i( ^9 ?$ o
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
* \+ W0 I5 Z9 N, U. W& dWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
  h) V5 d9 V  D0 n3 {Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
% n+ Y/ D6 u- T6 U' e* W8 v" O（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）' n- a: V; h5 u; J1 v1 J4 v+ c- e
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4 A3 g7 D5 @4 o+ _" m0 k" T总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……