《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。$ N; o2 M( X! K6 r$ B
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
' R' s) }3 [, ?' wHolmes: I just picked it up.+ Y1 W; |% @. L8 q1 P/ [" Y& C; q9 U
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
: v+ ~2 \- K% S; E( T( b0 YHolmes: Knew I forgot something.+ Q. m/ W6 e: p& i! x$ K  T
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
* d* \2 {, D! j) M; f5 }. P& T1 ]Holmes: You did.
) x/ H! M7 W1 w8 D6 h/ Y6 N' d（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
- f! u: X7 ~0 A: B: X  nHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.( ]9 z+ Z* V0 K7 n
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3 |) [# Z' N$ ^宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
- [5 ~0 x$ P& m- E" WWatson: Permission to enter the armory.% s- w5 Y. Z5 U
Holmes: Granted.& S0 D/ J! M1 e
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7 u! r6 J/ w8 a# H5 k; _晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
& C, t. O( r* {) p& H# RWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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! D& W# s- L; T+ q; Y8 o& s: u拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。& w; m0 `9 a; }6 a
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。: _% D* i) l" w7 e% O
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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, ~& O/ @* [+ A; v# U, V3 uIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
$ l( D  O  W7 D( K/ c1 l) w" eHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
( t$ n& d) V3 G% G4 q. i5 KIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.' |! N4 G: {. p6 a. @
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& c+ X4 U7 E3 i8 n" GIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
6 d# a! v2 F, P9 L2 \( S; eHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
2 B" M. c/ L( {Watson: Get that out of my face.
5 n: W, Q- |. K" q7 a' JHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
0 w0 C0 d- E  _9 e8 S$ f2 mWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
$ f2 ]. {) F: b2 w; O路人警官Clarky上场。
; v/ i  A, I. |6 m5 vClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
; h. \% E0 q" v: d0 E1 F2 NHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）3 ^1 ?7 W- H; L8 J
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。/ C! R8 G* n4 m
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
6 Y- g( a7 H" w6 \/ |8 EHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.5 r8 r0 t4 ^0 U+ O2 u
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。, y8 `  s0 C* X" t7 x( S. n
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）/ E' C2 V" g  y( j4 Z$ ~
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
: j0 j2 r' P! G3 _Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）4 z4 N. \. J3 u3 \. G, A3 n
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。8 ?, p3 W% o2 n; p
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
- k! O! |0 c* j0 S! W( lBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…8 \7 }6 M& z$ S5 z5 P0 E- X
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）9 q8 Y" v  B) f7 @& C# |2 t
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。6 E) j; j' Q2 n+ h; E
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）/ J: H1 b5 r' O+ E' q; r( g: e% \
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。2 |$ k1 X( R6 w
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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! m3 b" P# k7 x4 \. n8 e" E; n2 B警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
, Z7 l, q( b6 G8 K: q$ g7 _Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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9 M9 w: R9 Z2 i8 N* I, m接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。$ N8 i# ^% u( [; l
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。7 G$ M3 V7 Q9 ~" L: a# l8 K. o
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）* ]( \! {3 N  y2 D
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）, }  t# I  I# ~" P& ]
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）* @/ n9 R3 `. K1 F, _. {
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
4 z" Y0 Y6 C% ?/ J' I- DWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）0 P- I9 g+ v9 v  g
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
5 S) _5 k+ e5 XWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）# X- v8 K/ m( J1 T7 b- Z+ d
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）9 N' _5 A/ y; L
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
+ d9 O  q) R, l, c7 b- BMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
/ t  y; K- ]: @3 ^（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……