《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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, K, o+ z) @4 }* x影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
9 U9 W& ~$ U  M' Y! a% yWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）3 x, V) P7 G2 @# d
Holmes: I just picked it up.2 q; x7 N& [) O% o  j4 g3 b9 I- ~
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）9 F$ F& F) f/ f+ e) q1 ~
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.6 O6 f7 w( |8 ~7 `% I% M3 a7 c, Y
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）) s: e# j( G9 ^
Holmes: You did.
0 X' n, M5 l; E3 T  l, S（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）; t& x  C5 D, u/ a$ i
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
; U9 @4 Q. d: T7 z# U# v& gWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
9 V# O* N9 P. z6 y1 THolmes: Granted.0 b3 }& G+ n0 v! i6 D
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, v7 ?7 C0 i$ n2 b# I8 S4 \0 T晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。' L, ^* ?; h# n2 w0 g" A
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）4 v% ^; m) r" B) ]9 ^' V% l$ s6 ^
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4 Y* Z) t, K  i8 M* a) n" @拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。4 F# B# S, D5 {8 C6 t" M
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）" P4 U5 D% d) _) C2 G# U7 s
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' M$ u9 x* X4 D& ]" x; s; @6 l3 w. zHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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- l2 G3 u1 q1 ]8 S  U& P% I3 B6 d8 rBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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, S7 H7 o! @& [' \7 [2 kIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。% \2 n* G  X. @
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
3 A. W& J6 z8 I  {0 i* GIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?; V5 ^" `. D" \4 z
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
: z# i) K& c+ W. lIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.* J6 r. i4 Y1 m7 r
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" N) d$ y# Y* [2 M4 |, [4 vIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
2 r8 E" Y+ K* V( WHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）; ]! G& {5 I: ?, L5 t2 [/ w
Watson: Get that out of my face.
$ Y* \- V# I! E2 i7 wHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
9 S* H) a8 J- z- J$ b; ZWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
& t+ l. K% h7 a* D/ {7 a路人警官Clarky上场。
% V9 P: Q& U; u8 E$ p+ xClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.% O1 H6 \  H# V1 S4 S# h6 p
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
1 i( @+ F( i  ^* ]得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。4 p6 j9 }4 P6 R2 x
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
( o- |. ?% L1 m/ GHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.- D" ^! C3 l6 @. w; [0 q+ `; Y
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
2 k" c; L/ G7 k3 S/ I（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
: D' g. L2 k. i  q, QHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
5 K4 m/ \# k: H5 G0 S( W6 {/ GWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）, z: y* Y1 E2 M: @- U
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
. d4 G0 w0 I' n( |  q) @. i- ZHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）( z5 _, s7 d6 O' w+ s
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…/ K) e* K. b& m7 k
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）" y: i+ t# m3 ?. Q2 m6 @7 }
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。! x1 o) }# F2 J9 d
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）: d$ S0 T2 a; R9 Z/ M) J  ^0 p
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
2 F) n- M  c4 Z% g" h$ I6 L, `Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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1 h* f1 V, r* j8 ]) D警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。' ?" e0 l9 ]* D, X- a) _( ^
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing./ I9 S3 F& G# B' y
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。! J( ^  b2 j( O3 X$ G2 D2 S7 h7 W
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。* B% [+ g2 {1 x/ l2 E
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）0 o! q: S- z6 |1 s. `! R. s3 \
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
1 p9 @' B( T; W, X0 y5 I7 C, `Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
. U- x5 j. N, A, vMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
. ~0 l9 z6 h7 B6 CWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）! G, Q& Z1 x6 K8 [) f& P
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）; W9 J- P+ j# h( H2 p( z
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
4 q( g; X4 J" q) s. R  n5 mHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
) _8 y' k; N+ }1 ]' G" BWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
1 h9 B2 c: Z( @1 sMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
7 ~# y1 a6 b! i2 ]# M0 J（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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5 K! a: d& d/ }) _8 u) K7 |总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……