《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。7 H% }2 W4 u6 N# D/ ?
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, Q4 F' j- Z5 S8 v5 E& k" x影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。6 ]1 x: Y0 E5 {$ A- R
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）  H2 f5 Y; v0 v+ `* b5 B' B. s0 h
Holmes: I just picked it up.7 k$ J/ _" @6 o( {
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）# n! ^: f" ~+ ^( w& r4 C
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.9 m+ w+ Z  n" J! U# S
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
. D$ s5 b9 U- {7 ^$ [1 V8 x2 wHolmes: You did.6 Z: P, ~: p1 S. \( Q
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）3 c3 j8 x) r' P- i
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all." }$ ~' @5 ~+ Z/ `
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。2 g2 [$ G7 z  S! h% X
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.7 c( o& Y, i- J' I
Holmes: Granted.: J- s* g3 w3 E3 k) U+ S/ c0 U
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5 i4 i& f/ a( w2 o3 f$ C$ f' q晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。4 B' {8 n. ]; Q# n) ]2 q
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）5 `# Z3 u+ E7 S
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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# u) F+ [! n; O  `Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。$ w2 G$ o# p$ O) }
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）3 g( Q9 E% a0 P: D( U
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& K8 z! w  W3 c3 k6 PHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。- V1 d+ J$ O: m" q- ~- O3 W0 W
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。3 q) y' |. b# ]9 l1 Q
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# [9 W# B4 b$ ?6 E9 Z8 j8 m0 rIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。3 o" L1 j2 a3 V& J. P* S
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）0 P7 e% I% L0 e0 ]3 v
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
; V  B5 F+ O' G# t7 v' w# f) ^Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
& }. |0 l+ u4 M" K( `# oIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。* a* l1 J* c" D4 j3 M
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）6 x8 N- X- s+ |. f  H0 o; K4 c
Watson: Get that out of my face./ j4 U2 ?& |6 P0 T
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
% {+ S6 c! U: B; F  }' ^' QWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
; W8 t! b( a) e; q路人警官Clarky上场。
- E8 f4 K+ R/ @9 w/ oClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
6 w1 [2 X4 ]+ j" fHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
7 q+ ^5 F8 w$ Y/ T" E得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
) y5 ^! `. M2 e1 q% TWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
  h8 Z% r" c4 h4 mHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
: P% E  ^/ p; i* b1 h（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）: r5 X9 p5 Z& u0 w* I
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
( i8 Z6 M/ K0 d' y5 k" yWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）1 G8 s3 [$ }* I9 i* `+ Q$ l
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) W) U: t- [: I: _9 ^  G# O$ w) t1 S河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。+ A) O9 Y" U* V9 _- [
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
/ Q; _. p/ K& K- mBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…( u0 G3 \0 g7 t
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
4 H" M' l; D6 Y  X( {死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
" C" b  o  v# OHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）- Z3 G; l4 @( M/ y( ^
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。/ Y7 r+ `8 f7 _8 x6 \% e
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。" s6 V5 h0 x1 @
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
6 [7 {& J: p0 d! {1 f4 f" Q话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。2 D' |' V7 [9 {' v+ v  K6 a0 j
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
; `( U! E3 O+ }) L- a  O3 H: g: q& nWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
% S( e% u6 d7 B( d/ C9 `( p" MHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）+ l; |: v+ ^3 S7 m& k8 k$ J; r- r
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
5 \, Y2 E+ D- P* [/ S  \Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）$ H& @; {: Q8 V! ~$ v, `( ?! ]
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
2 ~- @# r* g, C3 K8 P8 `Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
2 @, r4 n& E" ?5 ?5 \  i- n% jHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）; H" {( C. k0 d8 l& M; }
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
6 k" c/ _' }; v3 N+ U5 uMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）2 `& I7 x1 b# X- ~9 z) v
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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* y0 v' L$ A$ y6 x: ]$ q$ ^总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……