 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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7 |+ L. D8 s2 b9 X影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 ) }/ W- J$ f0 w: h5 a
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
& Q- `, }# c! K8 }, PHolmes: I just picked it up.5 y& }0 b- C6 F n H' o/ Y. Z
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) - F; d9 i* W4 g1 \5 C3 t9 b- N
Holmes: Knew I forgot something." K/ C8 `$ r, s }- O0 M& a0 A/ j
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
1 O- i0 H( q( l }: G# kHolmes: You did.
S. C' w' q/ E. |) V(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) . n, D7 h2 b' S/ L& o* p5 Q+ \7 E
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.2 `2 L, X* D4 u9 L, c7 [! ]# I- _
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! v4 J4 r, d8 y( h6 P宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
; G+ M2 T& n. Z* \# N, kWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
7 c g. V' d; l# ~Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 3 R5 [6 Z% ^. s) t+ A6 L
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
* j" j7 u/ o3 m6 h# uWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 4 f% Z; M& z* i8 ? q
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, g/ s( \* H0 |Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 " \8 F! c1 ]8 l c' a* d+ ?
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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% o7 N4 | l/ U. x0 SIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 : V4 M& z( I; w7 ?$ H3 G
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
4 l* p# Q; ~9 i' FIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
& i8 @) X% u8 i6 f) O2 s& NHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 4 K6 M! W O' y& [$ q
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.6 y! M3 I( O0 J6 ?' H- d) K7 \
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 " t2 |# G+ M' m* `
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 2 O2 ]0 K. W8 F7 x2 X- T
Watson: Get that out of my face.2 c; z3 X2 [5 k# K" B* S% f
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand./ Y! `% f# Z( q5 j
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
) D7 X: H5 v$ O$ a" \$ L, g路人警官 Clarky上场。
8 L# [6 {0 m! }8 ^; Q) T/ i; f# zClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.+ m' r+ p: j9 {4 M
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) 0 `* x& _5 B2 @2 i- t
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 8 q5 r& M6 a! t4 T C$ x% ^; K/ a: P
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?7 b% G% f S( z! i
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.8 w* Q% F: m) e) a5 F
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
) u! @* ]/ w `( ?7 _, Q( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) % H( e9 L7 O* M. O; n
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
; d' \# d/ y+ a. W; S$ n; kWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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' B1 j+ q6 d6 |2 J河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 : K3 y' j0 ]% ]
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) / r/ l2 t K+ C1 P# K
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…" K" R1 C" v0 y1 L3 L2 W+ v% ^7 o
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
# \5 G% d# b; w+ b! w6 R7 k死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 ( `; ? F) v4 A3 h
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
1 |0 v, G! V' ?2 U4 m后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 % s& X; P5 X+ @& |3 P* b) S1 b/ f
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 8 F9 F) N( C; N; M, Z/ E
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 0 T. R8 ?$ q5 F9 h* E) K0 X4 B
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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: ~) ~3 s2 ^: t$ r. b/ j接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 2 v/ e3 S9 P3 E; I# c* g
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
4 [& d. ^" s% ^, U% Y1 PHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
" L6 L1 |7 y" d% ?+ VWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
% q- b/ t3 q+ u6 } i% yHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
+ ^/ a# M7 J8 t, V: T) }Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?/ w7 ?9 t) B, J
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) 9 w9 j6 J' B+ S2 S, {; d
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) : m$ d% T9 X/ b! Y& l- I# x
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
( v8 u6 t" c) P0 OHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
6 ^3 V+ s) _. L: }6 k# r. YWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
- X6 z# c8 a8 { gMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
% b9 f( h0 s) n. `( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) 1 j' @) E' l4 E3 L5 ?
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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