《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。0 C+ l  o: ]# Q$ o+ ~
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。& M; [9 j# e' _8 l; Q* g; t
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
$ N. @0 c( G3 z+ K+ t# L, y) m% Z9 gHolmes: I just picked it up.
2 [# B1 r7 _4 `! m* j+ IWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
$ E' J1 c8 C, z* CHolmes: Knew I forgot something./ r+ F+ u& @4 T- d2 d) V
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）$ G3 y1 g1 ?3 A9 [5 @
Holmes: You did.5 l) n. K9 y, k; s. T# A8 W
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
+ W) k; f- \2 m! iHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all./ l3 g; v7 k1 J1 s$ @" F+ d$ t
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。+ @/ Y) |- s' {& I: P
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.- R0 e( c' h' L! @; H
Holmes: Granted.% J( {' y3 V( G" Q9 A, S
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。5 N* i" y# `9 d0 u2 A8 U8 l
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）/ ]4 B) W3 a0 H9 U% E( [) n5 v0 D
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。; |1 D( U& A1 A2 l" f8 o- U' a1 ?
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
6 E* w8 w  p( S( N9 @Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）& X7 w( X7 R# u" D
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。/ P  I- z/ R# q3 m
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。& S2 I9 g) J8 o  O, s1 ~. a
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' E+ f8 l2 _) D! t! [2 _* wIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
9 r) E( n' z+ W7 l9 g# [/ L: M2 @（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
" w+ _4 i3 d- k# s; YIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
5 ^7 B' V5 ^' Y, A4 XHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
' ]3 R: }# v, K/ SIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.( O2 ~- r4 {6 o+ C; c. J0 A) q1 h% q, C
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( |2 g* Q4 `* D% QIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。( h# L% Q8 H; `
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
( d  f: D4 |, p. S0 SWatson: Get that out of my face.
: l; C/ T2 v3 K0 \( dHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
2 _8 j- M. H- SWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
9 g, p! @3 ]( w7 D, H路人警官Clarky上场。
8 i+ X+ h" r6 ?8 `. ]' DClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.5 A# d2 s% X1 O5 R
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
, f3 |/ t5 _3 B: D  k* y得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
" A4 C+ k4 Y6 f4 b8 G8 d0 H9 yWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?/ V3 U% R. Y) O( U+ Q4 {
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.- y: u8 I  e) H
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
! }4 n8 i3 w! @4 P0 U8 \( X' }/ U（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
$ p% Q* A1 E  o8 v# F% jHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.; B- w3 {9 i" Y  I
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。. I. }% v) c; W: i1 I' q
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
; }5 y2 F7 `- s8 t! y$ N% x+ ]5 VBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
; v, ?6 }" I6 ]* D' ~  l+ vWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）/ k3 }" O  D5 G6 ^. k" v$ K" n
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
0 |7 W/ `/ a0 I9 |6 MHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）" X7 P0 G  a* i. c8 z
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。5 z$ D+ j! k& q5 c
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
) R- p, A. _6 T( K. C* f, `1 fLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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9 b; v5 E5 K' e" p接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
' F+ ~4 @4 ~. f  l- g3 p) o话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。0 ?/ P$ Y8 h3 E) d' @8 m7 S
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）0 J% B3 l1 _6 r& D* _0 \
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）8 p2 |& m5 r3 v
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
, f2 E$ n6 B2 R: D7 s% @% w: B$ UMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
+ }( z, |9 x  ]1 x, Z1 g# ~Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）: ^" d( F+ B* R6 A; D9 r9 f
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
1 z9 Y! I0 e1 [4 p% a2 F& o: CWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
/ o" O( ]" y. ?( _9 a* @4 B" fHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）+ z' ~# X" n& \
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
! n, k+ U3 @; \- G! i6 I6 _& SMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
# S3 c# T' s+ j: {' u3 B（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）: f/ N6 R/ k9 n- R- _6 l
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……