《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。3 M9 {/ T  C& Y0 x+ o
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' A1 W& d% K0 h9 f% t; L6 U影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。3 b$ ]4 T/ q5 z: }
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
. E( H; e2 B. N  vHolmes: I just picked it up.
- v( v8 q" W" `! k  iWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）6 x  W8 [2 \5 ?( H
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
# _7 i1 z0 w& _/ D* U3 ^' ]Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
- n" n0 B: o: N8 m# a7 ^Holmes: You did.3 ]+ O/ P$ j; I: P7 j  C
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
5 J( s+ t4 {6 S$ u4 k+ {1 DHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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; Z2 m% S2 G6 \& |! w% r9 C宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。+ u6 t4 D* w/ E
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.: [, a2 o# i4 `  @% t
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
( c2 ^+ c; u( l3 y- N. XWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）( V" t5 a! K3 o( w" P" ?, G
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5 B+ u, O4 S1 j. i拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
. D$ p5 t9 I4 n. O6 C2 o4 tWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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' Y0 b- P/ |1 L) v6 [6 A9 n% vBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
! I& i5 w8 R) P3 o9 y2 {& g（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）: v+ r+ j) q& F
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
4 N! n% G5 T! R6 x$ t; [Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）0 q, w6 v/ G# K# {8 q0 K1 M, m
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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8 x" W8 n- U' p+ b: C4 c- RIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。, E7 _2 x2 i( `* t% B
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
1 y( A0 p1 _/ `$ D; o( ?Watson: Get that out of my face.5 d& y' p* D) x4 Q  R7 x8 `
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
3 k, [; ?" ^/ L) qWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face." ]% R5 s' P$ `
路人警官Clarky上场。) T6 N4 O2 N3 q9 i! u! Q
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.. M5 d. M' H9 x5 y- S
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）* b# X1 m! d# P* P- ]3 H; ^/ D
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
6 o0 Z: v- [/ A6 `5 ]Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
" J/ l, I' s. l. |. _" }$ `Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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/ K/ D$ U/ c8 s! }; E3 D& jHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
& t% s# A4 O3 O0 y& S" SWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）5 v1 S0 H0 b1 H: S9 g
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
9 v+ M9 X; A" ]) s. C; _# AHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
  S" \$ d- P8 R& JBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…  M7 g% K! M! v1 O  f4 J& O
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
% b* C2 v  P4 ?- ?死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。* {" r3 h) Z- A- k, c1 `0 `
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
" K' V3 s2 c3 W4 z后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
7 m! V: C! I8 Y+ \Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）7 ^+ J, R$ m6 c4 Y3 @
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2 Y+ z' O. R& M警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
' [3 _1 {- n1 k6 u; C* ]Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
9 q1 A* }8 q2 \& ^5 A4 J, |8 u3 ^话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。* y! i% \+ O, [
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
1 s0 e; i2 e" x" v0 ^2 \" |- fWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
/ x+ w. ^4 |) \/ j. a9 B; [) D" bHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
. ]1 m) e" ~7 wMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?4 a0 G' ]3 P2 @: i1 {) n$ h7 v& v
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
: T# Y. O- g6 _) @4 }+ `: c# cHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）* R/ `, l" k+ C& c
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
( y8 r  d  C( n( `3 m/ V9 t2 D" {  _Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
* n3 s0 S) y. Q/ sWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）- v7 Z3 v5 ?( e/ Z5 f
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）& f, L/ c0 P8 Z$ [/ @' m9 E
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……