《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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* g4 N5 f$ w* |/ N影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。) G) ]' F2 c7 J& A) z  R
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
1 N" v, H2 r: v0 i6 oHolmes: I just picked it up.
% J. b+ \7 I) b" |+ ?* M2 I9 nWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
- R8 T7 p. ]5 j+ M# L2 z; F9 i$ tHolmes: Knew I forgot something.# q: ~; j- Y! V5 F- g
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
( U% c* h- @. m9 m, rHolmes: You did.
7 \5 M1 c& w/ c3 Z+ A0 i  {（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
" D* E* W/ Q4 kHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.8 p- m) K' _$ t6 t9 Z! ^! E
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
6 t0 n; P5 g% U0 y8 o4 I9 \: Z; }Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
) m: R+ A$ M. @  d) @. C9 BHolmes: Granted.# O. S& H) j4 U# R- c* ?/ u
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; ?5 R- `' l, d2 M3 {; w- X  M6 \晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。% H- }( a. d! l; \
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）* c, z2 o( Y4 x5 x. L7 R4 J
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。5 H) O+ a1 x8 l- ]* R( z
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。  ]' g% Y& }0 x8 a8 _+ e
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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, A- J  Z( L- q( Y; j$ EHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。) K: G& Y- _! A' ?/ ^
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。; o7 H' E( A' x/ x2 U; J
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0 z; x  J, V: T0 {  d% mIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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9 ]; y8 U) @6 |! GIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?2 u9 c  V1 t1 p% ?
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
: ~3 s. h- I2 @) v% Z. `# tIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.8 s# s  R% ^$ p& W6 ~9 H( s  D) i7 V
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7 s5 k2 J; k( ^. XIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。  D  \2 ?% U% A+ K& T$ ]% ]
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
$ ?: v% M) C; x4 R4 Q, bWatson: Get that out of my face.5 s" Q$ ^0 w. j2 R2 h! I8 I1 B
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
6 i" u( \) M; @, gWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
" E/ \) `) ^# R" m0 M) i$ n( q路人警官Clarky上场。
, s+ d7 j, \4 M+ `' A9 R4 @Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
0 Q+ A2 K; `4 ]1 D% z6 NHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）, P0 |/ `% R& c! w+ P/ p
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。6 C: x( K3 x' ?, H
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
( f) c6 b, B8 E* ~, F# Z5 ~) GHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.0 G( t) h. u8 {1 k" l- H+ y7 C
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' i- c5 i4 x/ K. D% t8 s墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
) D0 m  a, M4 C8 a! H! U2 p（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
, t3 r$ p( @8 ^( x% q  A+ }Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
/ }- V4 }/ q( o( T0 r/ U; m6 sWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）. F0 R8 z8 k: p1 l# @  b
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5 `2 E5 I2 {3 [' W2 I河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
- a$ L5 f+ q+ e! G, vHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
4 M1 M" |# T" `Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
& w5 n0 R: e3 C1 H- nWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）% N$ y& ]: S) H2 y! k( i
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
5 D' p3 h% |: j7 O8 r; U$ G0 QHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
% G) r$ ]+ c" s( k& b后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。- h' q' K, z" f0 D
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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3 m4 D* C- ^8 S# J2 j: A8 I6 }警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
# n! @2 s* a" {& w- F4 @Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.4 A7 X  N' k, {# h# v
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; [5 {% i6 o- P5 ]. g* a接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。' n2 J2 g" o; P) i" T* I- A5 l# g
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。3 q$ N7 J0 \- Y
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）: t* W( l4 k( Y( m* z8 L
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）4 V# @9 m# a$ Q3 `8 K% L  L) ]5 G
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）" ~+ X( J4 J# M" A7 R& y
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
1 J# b3 e% G" _' ~Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
7 [8 g( Y. {+ f8 C% ?0 @Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
# _8 x3 C! C# l! xWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）. f# X# D1 w/ @0 q/ E3 J
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）' k3 Q7 B7 q% d2 X8 L: G# j
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）% `2 `7 _- Y+ V& o  d) k' T
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）. w. g/ V# Z) ^
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）8 x# _$ g0 n+ w+ T! k: T
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1 y& ^8 G: t( [+ D1 r4 G- y总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……