《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。0 B( I5 F' _: Q4 G% J: ~2 H: R
***********. J3 i4 @* U# y# I  ]
1．; H* O% Z& p0 y7 S3 Z) ?: f( ?( m
影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。9 @( b" p% @7 [$ h) s
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）" S0 t* K& L. h4 ^4 z" G- |5 D
Holmes: I just picked it up.  `7 k& A! w$ S5 Y" o6 V
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
$ F( R0 X) h0 G$ I4 G; w0 C1 T7 mHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
4 X4 b* x8 i5 \1 W$ ^3 V9 ~Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）, C, [: }1 g7 k& c1 {+ _% @
Holmes: You did.( G. G' ^& W! y4 G1 N" _
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
% e! v( _, i" |6 c$ h9 F2 THolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.' R3 P+ q- H; x# p; M/ X
2．* B' I- |# P+ `. {. `
宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
$ \5 Z1 I$ V- Q4 V$ J5 BWatson: Permission to enter the armory." z2 y# T  E# X
Holmes: Granted.; N' N' q5 K1 B) R
3.: c) C/ y: e. _" E! z- c8 p2 @
晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
  B& c& g6 H4 j9 y/ aWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）2 O1 R" n' ]) x2 {  d
4．
# W( i) D2 Z" Q拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。8 H  m+ R  B, y: w' G6 ^$ D
5．
/ O7 A. ], w" t: {9 b, I7 yWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
* _; v# K0 E2 _; |' V# n9 XWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）* w- l( k# f' A
6．! Q+ v# [" K/ G9 {6 {9 {
Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
# k, q9 d8 r! e7．8 N; W4 \: r7 `! d. C1 V
Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。; ~5 I& H8 O" W( p; r$ a% k
8．- P1 s% j, y$ O- n! z
Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
7 h1 n3 B% |4 ~（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
9 T! u" V' L/ hIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
/ k. y1 h/ t$ \' ?+ DHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）& N1 R" r, y: S& s( K" j
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
: p7 f- z- @2 F3 D1 v9 q5 ?7 P% |9．
- a- s$ H) V* A; V6 U( n% d: iIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
- B/ p  O- I! F7 X* Y) i6 F( JHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
0 m- O' t$ K& _! M% oWatson: Get that out of my face.9 l: O9 h8 ~# l3 L3 b7 i
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.6 _5 ^8 m. |7 ^5 P7 Q
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
9 U9 T- j0 M# @7 _# C$ w1 w路人警官Clarky上场。4 o* u# O1 r  J  u5 O1 g2 G
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
- ~* w* I6 l! h, RHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
( D) j* T9 h5 B) \+ g9 l. i得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。1 K; f( e  c8 g* a, \1 E+ `; w
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?8 H8 f$ p: C1 Z1 L- ^
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.* H+ E9 }3 [/ d  _) y1 @
10.
$ P- y  T4 \/ e! s/ ]* l墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。, y) z$ p3 r5 u; C: t. q
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
) [/ S) P" V' C& w" F* I9 RHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.- c7 v* y  S: x" X
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
( X0 B. l1 n% k: [7 f1 d) a3 y11．) {  i9 E. D" x* P2 Q
河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
& o3 t: i: Y5 c8 }+ MHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
& B6 u+ e( Q# {; v5 tBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
1 F( K+ y, }0 n- \# NWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
+ E+ P' ?' X7 o- c死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
& R! l5 S' C$ r; IHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
( D$ T4 C2 E+ m: R  K$ c后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
4 V% Q# C  K9 EHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
5 n6 g1 J* v; b; Q+ N0 J3 A$ c! w, O12．8 b; R; I) t- J! H; \
警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
" B  A. E0 b# o+ M- hLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.3 f1 ]0 j1 `! V" H
13.
$ |3 F6 d' g+ O2 Q+ q; e7 F1 B接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
8 k5 p8 ?# V' T) K: c0 j3 ]! ^话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。( Z1 z; t) P2 A8 V/ y3 P: c! _% `
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
" B9 G7 w4 [- ]5 ~Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）! O# p. L) b- r% V% X1 s' n
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）+ k4 ~2 L: Z1 ~" U
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
/ ]2 q7 r% e" V( [8 j) U0 L3 [Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）& o: H% I8 n5 O+ z
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）% r+ O! B" Y7 m: J; m
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）, k0 N- e2 ^* K
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
9 K5 {! r( Z# Y; p$ i9 M. aWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
: o3 ]  H) }8 i) U3 O- @Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）5 j3 [% S7 ?, |! F! d
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）0 V& t& [# d( a* J
***********( H. n$ Y2 b& h0 Q; _2 Q
总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……