《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。6 G. A9 q1 E9 f+ v# k$ ~5 h
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
! A. r8 D- F, v) [! m& I% ~Holmes: I just picked it up.! Q8 A, k5 F8 `* i- S
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
/ S) F  y+ x1 {" T+ g; C% D) K& u( lHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
4 T9 y6 i9 h) [9 u. ?, yWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
  i# V) ?- d; UHolmes: You did.
* u2 ~  |. j2 v( s（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）4 i, l7 F& W: s$ t
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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; E6 h. Y1 ]) s) n宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。! \+ K: I' D% j% ]) Z4 R
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.; h- W# d4 S1 L9 S! W- G5 k4 e' A
Holmes: Granted.
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, X2 z- B* y. w5 c晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
) _7 n+ i& W9 l( B0 A. [Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。5 n% t' W$ D- ?: Y, j
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。+ ]0 D- H/ L  _2 I; o6 z2 K4 [  ]
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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4 B& |8 N$ ~+ b- r# _Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。9 l& x' p& U7 l% `3 O$ }( |
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。! }8 P) C- a5 a
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9 ?/ h. Z0 `& o/ }$ S2 O' o. vIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。8 `. ?2 y) y" I) F' c
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）4 ^' b7 F) n& M- a" b8 Q! I. h
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
" q! Y; W: `5 K" h3 ]Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
! Y. N* y$ {+ _5 i: IIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。: t+ u- C2 }9 t0 {7 l/ L
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
, j6 F  {( ]) m& e/ dWatson: Get that out of my face., f1 S* W  H" i8 }3 G& g; x( V
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
9 `& }8 o, G  m" r% DWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.1 L" [' C' g1 v( r6 `5 b5 O* @
路人警官Clarky上场。
- x. ^7 U4 r. S! SClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.2 @) P8 E" b* @; ]) X1 J
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）- h* f( C9 ?: O
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。4 C: f5 ]5 N- M' s9 B' M' M
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
' n4 z8 ?8 k. Q5 ?5 M; BHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
/ Y4 X9 w# U1 f# j+ C（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
" i( c; M& M+ O5 J2 CHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
* h% |+ T! x+ Y7 Y. |* Y" ^# ?6 p) V# |Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
4 }- X2 O) k2 s! I1 H( x* z# l/ fHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）1 X- o8 b. j6 M, Q2 V/ }: N' N
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…% X  f4 a$ V) i! ]$ ~
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
5 d) y9 y( ^7 t$ n1 ^1 N9 v死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。% O4 \9 g; ], Q; `; `( b
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
0 k; Y  }. O: N后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
: c! F8 D  t6 I5 s* V- ^9 \Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）! P. ~9 b3 m6 d9 t' f
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/ s' Q7 Z0 C- z0 ]" g警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
- u3 S! g$ N. o! j2 w9 \- e$ R$ XLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.5 H- I5 G; B% H
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
5 |1 Q2 v! E6 |3 L8 ~6 N# F3 R话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。8 r, W$ `0 J% d' V; a4 O
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
% r. G% a. w' k0 W) u8 C& C+ FWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）* Q9 d+ E+ d2 r" s* Q0 H7 h2 m
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
6 F0 e3 x8 T* z) K% {- \$ ZMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
! S8 b' ]* b- S  W! KWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
  v% P% `/ t: `1 z; X3 {- oHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）6 N1 B) _9 x8 ~9 f# q4 u
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）; n1 l4 ^( Y# n0 Z6 Y
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）4 l. Y" @6 S. `. R( r) U* k+ L
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
2 u9 \+ [5 b6 q" T+ ?+ kMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
( Y) O2 ^( W# p/ ]5 U3 `（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……