《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
  b. _/ v1 v( mWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
, e7 w( Y9 ]% U, B2 T; E& G/ PHolmes: I just picked it up.! R+ u- ]. |6 r  Q4 v1 J
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）9 n& n/ I% W4 ]8 P; A
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.+ Z+ M+ V8 S+ \3 I/ u/ j+ O
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）+ f) G4 }1 g5 t. t" q% j
Holmes: You did.
5 q# r9 G" F6 C) `: ~（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）5 }0 ?+ h' i/ I3 e! C9 N
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.7 p! J* X  @( @( A: D/ l+ `$ y% S
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' F* ]- B) _- }) t宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
8 y# Q# O" s1 v3 GWatson: Permission to enter the armory.; B; ?1 }: P4 Q7 ?( E
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
1 w; c% X: z5 x+ LWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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0 i1 b- }7 Y; o3 k, k* p% r+ z- xWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
4 D- S% t! t2 \% W+ l$ {Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）# Z) c- }4 G9 W' V
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。6 n0 Q2 k9 @% k9 y6 n. r* c' ^
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  k$ B# B5 f7 K, j7 JIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。, q5 K! p& v1 e  v* t* i9 A2 S8 _
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）% f  _8 @  u# w2 I# [
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
' d- D6 t6 \/ O. eHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
& E8 T% K5 ^* D& w# C9 m+ uIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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& m( t, X; c" I( q  H/ G6 y5 C3 IIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。0 K% v  t! J6 B' _- i
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
1 _. F) o, |: s' n$ D' T3 }$ Z" |Watson: Get that out of my face.
4 Q  E) A+ i' D( X; iHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
" I8 g* e6 v3 @& x8 V! r: c8 u: LWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.1 [) x! T* ^) d0 \
路人警官Clarky上场。
: x+ v$ I8 j  b4 }Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.$ m9 J7 _* z, N& C. Q
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）" d3 X, R  X* |- ^! \' _
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
% b; Q. x1 i. C: `Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
" F. t! e5 N" f# JHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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/ h+ n+ F# E1 m* P$ x6 R墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。" ?5 l7 I4 L2 b! z: e: g6 h
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）, U' ^3 ^- Q8 ~" ]/ v
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
4 Z0 D9 ?! ~8 S. o9 d, [& ]Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
6 r0 X# @; R  y2 j5 O( _: h4 p9 ?Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
8 r8 k" N8 }7 m! `6 S; y+ FBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
8 K$ K6 B3 v; k) j5 T! h" B% ZWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）+ d) q% M0 o4 x8 V  Z
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
& W1 a/ f8 [# m4 wHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
  f- k9 q/ g6 a3 b0 W% s8 P( n- K后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。- {& N0 }! T) k: X  p0 ?9 \
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）* a; P8 G. d9 o4 g0 {7 w% J1 [7 X
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
) f$ L  l+ ?9 D! u5 l: d  jLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.1 |' l1 w4 U  S# c* ?& }
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/ u, r" M/ M4 h. P/ X, G/ h. x接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
4 q6 J& g/ n* L, D" B# L; M话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
1 N7 R* {8 P5 _  }3 X7 xHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）4 v4 \6 q# A' C4 r+ r2 L
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）) X* U( [/ x2 r2 K
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
4 H5 G* M9 h$ q% U4 i" ]Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
) Q, |, S; j) r& [Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
; G$ y5 C5 C8 [Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）: T! `: Y. ^/ c+ @) p! p& d6 c; z
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
: x' @1 z3 X) n& e/ X/ RHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
0 q2 V1 V4 t% l+ Y# S% nWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
  T! r9 U0 ]( ?& Z7 |  U% _2 WMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）, H0 n2 e7 m7 o/ Y
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……