《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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9 H  u: H: t# o, J2 H影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。. P- f4 [) y5 v# Q2 C
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
, }% V5 @; d! q" H+ U$ m& H2 H; DHolmes: I just picked it up.
7 }! D* d( w5 F; {Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
% R5 w' O- E( [' \' s  i* WHolmes: Knew I forgot something.5 m! e* x4 q9 ~& d: H
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
% w& ]2 ~0 ]8 C' ^" L& v0 u5 qHolmes: You did.4 l7 x& [, e  K) M- d% y5 X- f. v% f
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
3 W& q  L" j2 q4 T7 tHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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3 S, w) v* e* }: D" b宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
; ^2 f, l0 L# z& B) }/ c. gWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
9 s/ k# t, [! Y0 PHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
) a4 h+ C1 c$ nWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）( v+ V( i7 J' m
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- k8 A% S3 d6 a) H4 V拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。7 ]$ g1 }& [  ^  r* K0 G
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% L7 e% y; h2 K: S$ W9 A; SWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。4 T* l& Z* A& q! u
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）' ]8 L6 L( g1 l$ e
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。: z/ w4 {) @9 b1 E/ S  F1 ^
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。8 Q6 V0 ~4 V1 p% u  @* {
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。6 ^$ U$ R+ g9 X9 y$ B3 i7 w( s
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
) m- @. I6 ]* x: {0 IIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
* ?0 f) Q1 k% V; E, CHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）% o3 c! P. \" I) W6 [  Q- j* t
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。3 M3 }: @- h$ U$ z9 V. I0 h
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
) V% a6 X9 N/ cWatson: Get that out of my face.
/ R/ A  d5 P4 P6 H, fHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.1 Z, f! X4 _$ _; m+ B* Z1 b
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.1 r1 l" Q. ^" o. A
路人警官Clarky上场。) Z% H& s2 v7 R' |
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.0 z7 ]4 B1 J# }
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）, O& @* n+ O- w
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。* M5 m2 z1 @+ c) r
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?( D& E, p  q( R0 l" D
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not./ ^* ?! T" G7 M( k+ S9 K( w( ?5 P# C
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。9 J& P. J1 u. g; p8 a
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
/ [: j: o' ~( W1 M) Z3 aHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
  w! u- F/ g6 e: f$ lWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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! q* ~3 r( b. ^4 M河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。6 X+ [- A, u8 ~' r: C/ p
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）7 V. }& y* d! ?  Z) I
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…$ D3 U  u/ k4 M2 F/ u' o4 `
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）9 G. |" ~0 [" J: L
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。( W) M! K8 K1 }0 B* F3 B; N
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
, x) ]0 `9 G4 v$ M后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。/ h3 ]0 k$ w8 m* I* L, H! R
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。* o1 x+ _9 r! d" d! V
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.; t- `. c% i0 L! i3 u5 k4 L5 x
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。) B5 W1 G1 M- U# b" W( y/ r
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。2 P3 ?: d5 C# }5 @6 r3 I# i4 |/ A7 k
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）5 x( n4 A. k  `8 S* P0 a
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
# ^  D* k7 g9 E1 L/ z# Q7 QHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）* ^: i- @3 e' k5 V' L! O
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?( h: ~$ M- ~0 b
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）8 H5 M: a9 i# c
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）0 a) B' i" {, `7 N
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
$ X/ Q1 W3 C/ ]0 v1 UHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）9 G1 q" b0 c/ O6 l
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）  x! I% S' [" J  K! }4 E9 R
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）; w# b- ]2 h% [; {1 z/ a$ t! K
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）% c- o( B0 h7 t# w
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……