《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
6 D3 b: V; p& n( xWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）9 w" |: P% ?0 R3 @* x" F9 Z9 w
Holmes: I just picked it up.
: G* v1 _1 j! I5 VWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
; A( k# K% e& `' i6 }$ I1 |Holmes: Knew I forgot something.) p' q4 |/ ^$ w
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
4 W8 Y: E6 ~! N- tHolmes: You did.
" g4 z5 _3 _* C; C, S（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）- ?9 h" `4 K# b
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
) W3 K# \' M5 A& i8 FWatson: Permission to enter the armory.5 y! v0 j6 ]9 v% z$ t( C6 z! H
Holmes: Granted.! o3 n* @8 v0 v( Z
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
$ k$ E0 C2 i5 j+ U: J$ eWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）/ B; T9 [1 a; R
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/ M( J/ X; p6 T% K# ?6 @& Y2 f0 |拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。2 P: }* F/ D/ g' t# O
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% d7 {, l3 ~  i, O6 d9 ^, H1 rWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
9 y# N0 f- e) }: R# [2 e+ m) h' e6 u. [Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。! ?4 M4 n" i! x" B$ z
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。; D. ^1 r& \+ f2 `; z& Y/ @
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）+ X. N" G- O( \- `
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
7 Y& a' v. Z2 M+ O$ mHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
5 Q% R% A, Q9 j4 S* C. nIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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/ N4 p( G2 o5 l: z1 P6 HIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
% j% l1 e: H! W0 g9 w* wHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）% g5 P/ e; L9 A  `+ F
Watson: Get that out of my face.
& u2 k9 C* e( Z4 ]) t6 U$ VHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
4 }& U8 ~; x, H+ Q* }  I' S' u) yWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.4 v- }/ Z6 m+ [0 a! \: y1 G( d9 {
路人警官Clarky上场。
+ r% w  H! y7 N* t0 fClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
- Z/ L- _" P9 z0 Y' T- C, {Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）0 W& @3 |4 O* P5 \; q  ^
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
5 e" H- q6 h/ R. e1 L- [Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
' g' e/ o. t9 d+ hHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.: E: A9 s2 z3 Q- b
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
( {: l$ Q- X8 ^6 J% lWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。5 l* \8 p' i/ H+ R2 e1 n2 r
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
  s2 h/ r9 ^! b0 e  u4 vBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…0 y6 s% h$ P/ B; n
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
2 I* r0 a: v5 l5 @$ z死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
+ `$ j5 G9 @' X3 gHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）- q+ b9 }0 o3 k$ _4 k# o4 ^# Z% \: o
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。- {; }7 U$ h# t
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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. u* H) c; d) ^警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。* |! {' K  W( G5 P
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.4 y' p0 c; r( \; E
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
- X3 `* Z7 L- d( T/ G5 W话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
5 u: `9 o: Q/ W( ~8 CHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
2 A- k# R/ x- {9 v( i; X. T* m) O: vWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
: b" s  u% l: w$ K& o, M3 _% x( OHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
0 S( G$ ?' @2 g# `; R6 gMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
# M! [0 @% [- [; V( k! qWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
0 P2 P6 a6 L8 XHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）9 B$ G' U4 n- L$ f% y/ f" R
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）3 ^2 C" e7 C6 i+ M0 I9 I
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
* J/ Q) T4 i$ M7 P+ W% A" wWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
9 \6 @% }9 m: o# e. H9 A. l+ u/ r6 ]Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）, z* I$ @; k" p+ X3 a
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）) S- O7 s% y1 j
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% z. n, M3 D( u& H0 b& ~5 d总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……