《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
  q. r* P' r* y, YWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
" _- x) @! o1 K* t4 U0 K. `Holmes: I just picked it up.
3 w3 G% {8 A5 c+ V  g, g/ a: mWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
: Z; D" H2 }6 P0 [Holmes: Knew I forgot something.' V* e, j- [4 C0 c, a' y, V
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）. N3 f* @8 W3 M* C) Z7 N. q
Holmes: You did.' I% \7 B& K; ?/ p! ^8 A5 q
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）% w$ d) M$ {% Y
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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8 Q! Q% |5 w5 A: s: G宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
+ }" a9 `- i9 m, ?& s) k# mWatson: Permission to enter the armory.* }! O4 j& p8 e
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
  f' X" V- D) t: bWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）- O5 b& L  a" b4 W
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& o6 t; y3 p" c* W/ {) d5 D拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。0 U8 v; ~% T/ t
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
) h* @6 [/ I% z% W2 J) w/ iWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）' g: v/ N8 A6 H( p, F
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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$ F/ q& H6 _) J& Z* J5 B# gBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。8 z9 p7 X4 a' B' ^, m
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。+ v: u% q8 s1 S; ~  j
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）1 O2 E$ |% B* W3 W2 y# T
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?2 O% i0 t9 a6 _2 O& [# l
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
! K( P4 `( n9 @  Q- W- O* D% yIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。! g" u  L* D& V/ E( u& a
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
/ \: V' _: p5 a# h* {5 I, ^  zWatson: Get that out of my face.
1 q7 d8 Q3 {" j& e$ K6 yHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
* x0 H( O8 V; a/ w, I* OWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.8 _# C1 n5 N3 X+ Y
路人警官Clarky上场。
* P  u! M4 t1 R3 w+ n& V; o- N% Z3 hClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once." J. s4 ?- T: _  b4 }; n
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）* Z. Y, E; N* M& w
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。% h2 m1 V) C; H3 y- k% e
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
. w- M" H* j) A: sHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.2 y& \$ \8 g) O1 ]7 D
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# {, e0 v$ y9 j/ k+ b墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。, v1 f2 F/ R& _+ b8 l
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
/ X" `3 b- h& S0 A8 dHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.1 E  Z, ^7 x6 K2 g: V
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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+ R5 D7 U: T  E8 f7 U河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
. J, @% ^& ]4 h; l8 @Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）: i/ H8 n3 T& r0 F$ `2 y% o' @  ~
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
$ O" E( O2 i7 q8 TWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）+ _' `* D( k, M* J, y- b
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。! F( P7 X& t7 e; L3 A4 _
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）$ g( Q' k7 o% ^* C% ?5 r1 [
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
" k4 P' J' w4 ~5 g& OHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
6 l* h  @( P2 H3 a8 rLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing." v9 ~* {, V3 C" [* Q" D: U
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。5 r( ]# V) x# E& W
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。. [- _7 N0 b" G, X& X) ~; `
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
8 i+ |) u* ~7 \* M! T6 Z& l" BWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）) v- v# ?5 I" \) c
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
, K. e# E& q- L$ L) A' {Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
3 a, c4 G  Y- L8 D# `! @+ gWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）# E  |9 t/ \) v0 q( x6 O  F
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）% O, o$ v. a( ^& A5 s+ k( l' Z
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
  \( J: ?6 u8 |5 t8 k# Z! Q( BHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）) Q/ w8 k% T3 u( _
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）9 S: c3 i: A1 U( H8 }2 G% q1 N( p
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）* Y: g4 \5 r0 ~. n( h3 ^
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）' ]4 e$ W! @  Y$ f1 w% d4 V
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1 q2 N  W- w$ p* L, y  }+ U; j2 u! A7 N总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……