《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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& A3 r" l( e- q0 ]0 s影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
# A% n* ^# q7 j$ F  bWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）! Q) d+ w! K! I0 k' i* U: ^0 W7 A
Holmes: I just picked it up.  `7 m0 @2 u7 r9 d" k0 m  K: E. Q" b
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）2 n) {" j& y" y/ }
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
0 j' m, L$ N  v9 UWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
* ~8 ^! J% \9 P4 T  W! ^8 c$ m, bHolmes: You did.) Q! k7 [7 N) \9 J* @! f
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
# p4 y2 Z. s3 ?$ |) sHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.$ l1 V, s% [* a+ L% P8 r" K
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% w6 v& I4 m0 t' o5 m宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。# m% Z" w; t8 [6 c, P! y
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
0 [4 ]! S3 n3 n4 ~+ WHolmes: Granted.0 T) D: c- h  i0 `. @: w
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+ M) I- u, ]9 T8 R晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。, D" W, h7 h8 C6 E
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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# \) ~) w% `; K7 o4 \拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。  v7 H5 T: m6 Q1 P+ T  j
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。7 E( ^" c& r$ f# U7 H3 v/ P$ q
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）, |8 N5 v6 _" R, X
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7 f2 }! F7 A2 |- |4 K) M9 H, ?/ FHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。" [$ O) Y$ }. l% [* q
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+ }4 |3 v& \) \- ~Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
9 w" d) h3 U( K& C（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）1 m5 \/ s* S6 F3 R# ?: B; B
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?. u0 {3 p' ]' }5 A
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
0 K) ?. R* G  o4 `Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.7 m0 {" K  }  v' E  C
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
9 I( u2 P/ m: S  a( Z4 ZHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
. M8 k: n7 K. R7 |; {# O5 ZWatson: Get that out of my face.
  H7 |  x' s! M4 ]! I% A8 P; J& hHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
% ]  V- `7 U7 W; sWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
4 ?2 y2 @+ Z' N0 Z" p3 |; x: j* r路人警官Clarky上场。
# C( u8 H: \8 O; w0 QClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once., w) P, L1 n8 I
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
4 ^% F0 ^  m* y2 @得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
' e+ G- f0 [" d8 {7 D: pWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
7 Q* Y# e# n+ M. j# J5 s) M7 z$ k. lHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.3 U/ `/ P. q% j# y
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。9 l! K3 S% i% [1 J; |4 h
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
5 u3 ]% g) E4 D3 E, C, hHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
6 M$ _9 x% m* }Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）3 ^  i) |4 e2 H; f7 K( y' b" V1 z
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& M: v3 k5 J$ e) R" g河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。6 E* R/ V7 A" |9 ?
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
7 n2 v' H3 u3 N! u, |1 ZBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…1 C, v1 L# P2 |' Y9 k  \2 `
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
; T, f. B; I$ o+ S3 q死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。0 g; k; ]. x9 q
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
' Q7 l8 K7 F* w后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。0 Y9 S8 J' X0 E3 v8 D) H, b7 e; ~
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。- H9 L" y, W% h# b! L
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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6 N# J9 _( A  P0 W- O接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
+ N( `. s$ K  A7 n( T1 j" r) |* X话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
$ X7 e" |( U' Q1 A0 C, N# xHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
) F# Y/ \' Z  k: yWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）( J3 k- I3 B; U: ?
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）9 H+ o, D* d" w& l+ c3 W
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?, H: g: t9 |6 N% A( L) r& c8 S0 O- w
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
2 g4 _  o* u8 tHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）" c; [3 U5 v; L7 X9 h  C- i/ |
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）: l: L; A$ {, W5 t
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
, W' |9 G: t( F$ C3 E) n% L7 cWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
; j- S/ M4 z8 AMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
  b( g0 a4 J2 j- ^2 `! `（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）/ `4 W$ R1 P- D9 C9 `" z
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' a# y# \- P0 P总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……