《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。# J5 u+ B# [( ?- M
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
2 R1 O) \% [; fWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）6 k* ?) d& c- B$ O5 W* ^
Holmes: I just picked it up.! u3 B+ P7 ]- J
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）) h# X( n+ M- e. X6 p9 k
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.3 g6 p8 ~+ D: U  m1 @
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）2 t8 N1 \. f& v; v3 q
Holmes: You did.( w5 M+ e% V+ a3 B+ {
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）4 x6 u! w$ `* e1 S" P" O
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。; K. \3 [1 Y2 J7 J
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
  a# t2 {$ ]9 v) u4 t& f3 \Holmes: Granted.8 j% Z$ g5 C8 Q
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。* m& q) |3 O& y+ A( t
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）+ K/ n9 {. X# a% q' N
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。) r% N) \$ ~0 a% b/ ?
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" Q5 j$ B5 m4 _" v# I$ BWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
) j" ^+ b5 u% F) cWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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9 @/ e% ]3 ^0 {& MHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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4 Y& i8 o, Z, W6 ~* _Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。- R* X: R/ a: g, i4 r
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. }' E0 e/ Z, M, L. C" f0 i6 tIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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  @6 P2 d" g& F1 v' N  G  R) JIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
- V1 F, S' ?5 r2 Z( z1 hHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
* ]: v. n7 t3 L1 C+ o* ~+ }Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.4 I: ^! H9 s3 z1 k+ E
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: T' ^+ @  f+ \+ |Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
+ u" R6 k: \* vHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）8 y- j- [  M4 }0 c* {3 [5 s9 |! P
Watson: Get that out of my face.+ x, [# ~: Z: f, i- a
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
! M- n' ?, X2 `+ K4 c9 XWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
9 r# S% ~" s# s& l6 o6 F5 J3 @" j路人警官Clarky上场。% Q7 d/ \2 V" f/ E
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
  k& o. N- m% Q8 @+ \% d" |Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）6 r" R, H7 l9 a2 l7 A+ o
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
+ Q/ f# o$ t5 e+ _1 FWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
1 o  ^3 I2 A+ n; [Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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- E0 j9 M# q4 G2 O墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
4 a+ u+ |% j5 o. a. |2 n（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）& o, z' \. W. W6 @
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.* a6 _. b5 H+ m
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）! o$ E- `$ {4 Z
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
0 ]1 H* W9 p6 p8 y: j# w5 @, {( ~Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）1 B, p" B' z6 ]! i1 S' b
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…3 n) }( v0 i, T3 {0 S
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）6 w0 A9 ?1 [* X% m4 m( @
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
* ?, K, c& D8 F+ x$ vHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
. ~$ s) R/ Q+ w. ~( K后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
9 k, X1 x* f; W% d3 ?( @  p3 THolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
$ G2 Z5 A, R$ I. K, S2 T  d2 `3 vLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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  Q0 x6 n9 N" `* v+ P接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。5 q6 e: X3 U8 x2 u9 h4 H7 n
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。, q; P# S; a7 _7 r% n/ D4 P) F! E6 b
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
) Q) H( Q3 \7 T0 f$ q: p# b& mWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
) v9 c5 |9 m- Y' e. XHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）. g* z$ g& S/ J1 j6 M5 K
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
! p1 C& L$ h5 J# I% [) `Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
# o' n, u" Q* ~1 ^  eHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
$ S5 h/ o9 p0 |* e' o& r* E, JWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
" a. j* b3 ]8 y7 uHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）! ~  b6 p* g/ r
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）7 R6 C' u- i% s: k* z# w
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
1 h$ |# h* H+ y+ @/ @（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）2 i, K$ }/ _0 D0 v5 B7 r& `- v
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. Q2 j, g! _# h总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……