《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。8 d* ^5 K+ X7 H7 A% l
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  R9 w9 \9 b; e' `1 F' ]影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。6 _, [7 A$ n% m, E/ z9 m. x
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
- j( l* q" v8 @8 E! [0 l0 q* S6 xHolmes: I just picked it up.
9 `( {  S0 j; w6 `$ U# _! eWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
4 f0 Q& j. d+ k* JHolmes: Knew I forgot something.) y/ z. t8 G. J( m9 E) b
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）% D. H) G$ @# L- I; m5 a7 x
Holmes: You did.. _# T- u: C" }* N, ^! f% t3 z
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
0 p. |/ x3 M  IHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.- ~" \$ ]- o2 R$ |* d
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
# [1 w! g, X- z& a+ _Watson: Permission to enter the armory.$ t- {! J: T' n7 F! z
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
0 ]6 W. P% B  H  @Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）8 K( x2 a& a5 _" R
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- b/ l" k" J# }拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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( L9 c: k; B; G2 A" f3 _! |Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。2 U  m- |0 z2 J( |% }2 K
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）( l3 o& m. x; j, r8 P1 n4 R
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# d+ ?$ T: _" @4 M1 jHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。- @: W1 ]  q2 A' Z3 ]& ~0 j
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。) R; I# a7 U$ J# l6 {
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
! w+ C+ Z$ ~! [! c1 k! j（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）' ?8 E# _( N5 d- i3 s7 W2 j+ ]
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?" v* I8 I# Z+ Z
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
% o" k# {! ?/ tIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.% R. t& T# z! f5 d9 }; S
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
) X, [% S. e2 OHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
7 }% S" g9 P5 s( z% A3 J  XWatson: Get that out of my face.
4 J' I, a1 j' V" a& M- AHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.; N' M7 u0 k* m/ a( E5 K5 Z3 k
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
+ y" ]7 \$ R7 E2 c7 O8 C路人警官Clarky上场。
+ T- U/ r0 y- ^, y% o; DClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
  u  F, K, j# W' N2 IHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）: S# c! J( e0 U5 o5 U8 m
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
  n( I3 X: c4 MWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?$ j9 m3 G. E* \& t6 I; G, d# F5 W7 ?/ y% f
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
, a0 |2 f4 A$ s8 B3 d* j$ \5 ~9 j（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
3 |: L: \  V; @$ M; S3 o, Z0 pHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
$ p: ]1 `) i: S2 w3 ]3 `+ u* bWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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# a% O0 z1 T9 h6 z  o7 S' y! b5 c河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。- m$ P4 P6 a) h( S  H" _
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
% q. E; K) Q6 Y/ @0 fBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…3 G: R8 h4 M7 w
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
- _! |5 |4 u0 ?死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
, `8 L9 H: k) ^; \. B$ ~( CHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）7 W3 Y( ~' N' i6 b- D
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
% \  l# i- t0 hHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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6 ]3 X0 N4 c& E( b6 `- `6 v警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
* V# u9 O6 n- O. |Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.) Q) Q& o  D% x: z
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! m( X" C8 @% V# T" e8 K接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。- U, w4 c; u0 ?6 s& g
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
6 l+ k8 U/ V& J2 sHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
- v" V: t" O3 rWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
, L% l3 E& w; j4 S! N' |, rHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）- r- N- O2 A$ w7 y, B' {; K
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
, t# z; L2 v3 a' K- EWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
3 q# p; B+ V6 S; q+ aHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）' P8 b# A: |9 }; s: I7 x& B$ \& M
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
$ X" ?5 k: f0 NHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）& N( ~. x2 M# ~# l6 p$ q6 w' A
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
- s0 z; q5 N! |: a2 p, O) iMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
& o" A" K8 X1 x$ S2 n8 q& Z6 n（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）( l  ?+ ^- p3 t7 }8 f6 t
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1 f+ p) g3 N) `- J9 h* r总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……