《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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( v5 \* L! c3 q3 L" p5 t* B影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。+ u7 C$ F4 y9 m! ^- w1 h
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
6 I& R0 n: [/ iHolmes: I just picked it up.. h' K  i! W! @. b4 R' M
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）& Q( C6 U2 p1 R: p# ?0 S8 h
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
* v  `  Z- A2 bWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
9 d3 ?! Z& ]$ l$ R; T+ y* wHolmes: You did.$ p6 t: t4 p+ K
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
! I: Y5 b, E  F% uHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.. h0 B' k- B& e
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。. L. F8 |# O* M9 |7 y8 Y) m; t
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
2 h7 B! P9 p/ L/ {- X. H0 QHolmes: Granted.2 X4 M& X0 F7 \  l7 @, d0 `$ X
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。5 a4 m/ w; b5 Q
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
* J) h: y4 P) a3 G, t& ]Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）1 \' W" K; Z/ V
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。4 V- P& m. v: V/ y9 [! O0 L: n8 \
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
, r0 k1 H5 l+ ^7 e2 v0 v% J（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）/ S6 n" Z- r$ a+ Z8 _
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
; ~2 c% r% e! X: A8 p1 [! B9 U* i7 GHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）- z& L) ~/ `0 f4 l! b& N
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope." l: v* i) O( G$ X9 y3 [; O' D
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
; _6 M2 G: g2 z- rHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）( G  t) u2 r- D  h
Watson: Get that out of my face.) A" o  J! j6 J9 y: p
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.3 ~- N* C1 c" P/ ~, c
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
9 V  B7 n; f/ U$ I; o0 `路人警官Clarky上场。) O/ J0 ?* v5 ?2 S5 z
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
# @5 M8 v0 N4 cHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
; ~4 r+ S5 B5 t  @4 `得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。1 p$ q8 E7 m+ [6 B4 |0 o# Z# X1 g* {
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
6 q3 S0 F' H3 \2 y  M5 OHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.7 f! _# o4 Q; }; ^6 r/ t
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
3 F# k, j7 \6 B; S$ ~Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）- p6 ^. r8 d. p" f8 l
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。/ U/ W3 x2 U' m: N
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）: {" v2 D" n/ B: K9 b& d
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…9 L, u7 `6 D! L$ T
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）; i4 e& G; A% u5 k+ d. c
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
! K( a" C: y/ @/ Z3 kHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
. f* C+ \3 ]/ l* D3 q8 K) u后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。- L1 P1 I7 W; h8 D" H, O7 E
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）2 E' M* a. O0 ]# G1 T: O
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  o- J1 ~  V& \  b; a警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
3 U1 o5 l7 k# p0 m4 D& j) ~: sLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.. e) ?( @7 ?  E; i4 ]& i1 {9 T  Y# P
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
3 T$ O" q7 c  R* g# ?话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。- f+ L" j& t, n  U2 m
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
. n" a* c' a* d. G. JWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
/ J3 q  h/ r# z6 d- PHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
7 z8 }: T" w! [0 C8 bMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
+ Q# m" q  o7 p4 p, L/ }( d( XWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）. ]1 Q, ~. v, x' Q, k1 ?7 b; ~! H
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
8 B2 s7 V4 M0 [' F4 |% hWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
  n+ Q3 j% C2 o* l6 J4 w# CHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
8 w0 f4 }9 a9 R% Z' H' WWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）/ w4 C8 x7 ?: b& \( ~2 W/ J# I
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
5 @  B1 i% w- v4 N3 D$ v. i, w（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）5 E( A/ ~0 ^& g* u, C* `* R
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……