《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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- Q) A( T) f6 y; e( `7 x5 d5 V影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
) |2 q+ O9 @0 D5 o, V. NWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
6 Y1 {, C" T3 q  A9 Y% [$ [Holmes: I just picked it up.
) @8 a% K5 K' R+ S: J6 k& MWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
2 w) E# i- f6 |4 [  K1 w7 FHolmes: Knew I forgot something.& q6 b- {5 {4 ]/ b) ^
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
% b$ x: x2 F; I' Z. C  @$ G, L4 iHolmes: You did., A) C8 ~; P5 _
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
" D' P9 F2 r9 |% j+ NHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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) ^2 V9 o+ Y0 y9 C& G宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
& }( \7 `: K, P$ G2 Z0 h# C) n" tWatson: Permission to enter the armory.0 J  d( |5 p, `0 Q5 f' |4 Q
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
- Q8 T4 L) ]2 CWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。( e5 o; ?9 ]. s  `0 J3 I
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3 V6 R1 u1 W, a8 C8 K. [3 A0 c) eWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
8 ]' k. l8 H( N% K4 P, f. K  }5 Q1 qWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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7 B0 w; ^7 Q- JHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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+ J" |0 J0 V3 H! j4 Q2 EBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。; e4 }" [+ v. @, U
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
4 M) f( n- {% U% _+ gHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）2 V1 g: `" r4 V+ v
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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4 e0 k6 k! f% l1 o, o1 aIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。) X. d/ J* D+ a/ z; }$ }
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
) J" a  y' F/ }Watson: Get that out of my face.! N8 q' T4 e3 W; u. [
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
' D( g& R3 P% j  T3 A+ M- }  UWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.0 v) v' L) M  T) @, U
路人警官Clarky上场。
+ }2 L! i6 a# l- f5 NClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.; Q3 H. ~: `  e; t
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）7 V+ U# v+ K+ v$ ~5 B; J
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。, G+ z% g. |. C
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
) S; W( E/ O" S* IHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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1 `; H7 J! I1 k, [  `' n8 m墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
6 q/ O2 N- G( B) y（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
5 w" U8 ^6 d2 `" P2 eHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.9 i" F! N7 u# u& H! ^& Z
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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7 d, R5 s( {2 f# q& n河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。' B; o7 u  J. B! y% U# T/ \# }
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）5 [) \5 ^) O* K" M# E
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…( o( c) `% P0 l+ y
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
, q* z" q, P0 t3 ?/ {死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。( g; t7 C- A5 N5 E8 P0 D
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）8 }) E( L5 K$ @. U  @3 @- W
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
: ]  J$ I* V, E5 Z" B% w! hHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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5 B2 v6 ~* R1 V* B4 K警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。5 i! [1 a: D! r9 m
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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/ v  l& K# n' o; ]1 z, D接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。# _/ ]. ?. Y8 Q2 q4 u( [# K- n
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
. f! Q% d- p: u9 e/ @) B3 RHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
  l7 u# ]# p0 e( c% U& FWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）. X: K4 s: T0 [/ a
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）; B* d0 j" B2 t% C2 p
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?6 P% o9 d$ l& M# V8 @
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
6 X9 U" D  O# e/ PHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
4 J; b  D  n# {& T( Z  ]Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
4 O, b: \6 D$ W. Y& r% bHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）  m* ?+ F/ y% Y) [% H
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
% D2 e$ i+ j: l! x) A0 C) oMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）( I$ W4 G+ H6 g. k+ O
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）( d8 T5 c/ e3 @/ Y5 \6 T
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" V" a, I0 |" k$ Z" }$ q+ a+ g总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……