《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。0 D: Q& X! x& H. P6 ]- d7 t
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& q7 }* L# s1 b2 X2 M  g影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
" x) G) c& X. a# e1 `Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
, A: g7 ^0 Q3 I& cHolmes: I just picked it up.' m4 u3 [" t" o" x
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）( l9 I/ x7 Z4 f
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.2 O  x! G- ^' ]: g+ Y8 F0 E- I" A' T
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
4 [8 c7 ]; t8 g; v+ [8 mHolmes: You did.
' i$ _- [% z7 J- Y/ J9 x0 ?. p0 N' t（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
3 A5 t! z. j8 f5 pHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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" P  w0 q9 T" t" c9 h; p* h宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。0 g; }8 g3 s: R" [" b  ?+ c2 P
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.) e9 o8 r% u7 M- {
Holmes: Granted.6 z: o/ k) ?8 L
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$ P- \9 a- [) i3 t# I" U' O% a晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。: M' T0 X5 t  S5 ]# I, i
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
" Z1 B  G" @8 ^2 D  {3 |Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）3 Z- x6 m5 _; W+ F
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。/ o1 u0 \/ l+ ~6 L/ ^* h
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  Q. \+ ^3 K7 N: t9 P% kBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。8 c9 T& B4 E1 K6 b4 a& H, n
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
# l6 l0 m1 u' M! B) ]（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
4 E' ^4 p& g6 g0 x0 g* n. XIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
1 G: {) t. T7 h1 IHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
' k- U( ?$ |) V5 H- f; ZIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.4 p' f- f0 a2 V+ J/ ~5 ^& g
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# d) Q$ Z  Y1 H5 b8 c: i7 FIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
7 y' j3 G, V! \0 q' RHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
9 x! r( C8 U  }Watson: Get that out of my face.
" d* m, O5 z* ~  k4 E. _Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.7 U) [& ?% l5 |& M; ]' s
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
( s& |% y( @0 m! G; z6 @* H0 I路人警官Clarky上场。
% R* L, z8 P; g) q6 p% ^7 C/ h$ k& J3 D7 vClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
% g: `" [5 ~6 T% |. o2 t9 ZHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
1 [  g/ @' w/ X- S6 A5 d1 I8 y得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
% C' y4 e. S' Z' c, o5 XWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?& \; {: P" ~1 s0 G3 p2 W- x
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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" S( X5 ~) L: Y墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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' w" h. _4 @& R3 {+ E( `Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
/ P! M' e! V# p. t# fWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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4 d+ e# P0 d  V* S7 G河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。/ a4 i$ i' P. V' M& S2 k+ C
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）# e4 h2 \/ i( F' O8 p/ E3 }
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…1 f$ |7 W  k" f  g
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）. D  @2 a5 ]8 a2 `) U; S( H2 w, s- t" f
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
! P" h1 W1 l) u( L7 eHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）! c5 G) t. u  B- o# ]' \  }
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。0 V# i7 t+ C% g# |# ]1 d' l9 `
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）( b% f- |$ \9 f6 a7 R8 \
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
( Z  d: d9 t; MLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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2 V0 r: Q% U" y. X2 c2 v5 `; j  }接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。: @" ]# P8 x& z7 t/ ~! _, u
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。- m) I; N) ]& V' [, p9 K
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）+ x4 o8 F! N, u
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
6 T# a9 W7 y: XHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
5 G2 v7 U' C5 V3 Y4 Y' v4 xMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
1 R! V' y4 b" P3 R0 E  q/ o& BWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）* h4 @8 U* R3 \" d. J# o* C
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
7 ?, p! q, I% [& ]9 @: {Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
$ ]1 p( B& G, S; ]) t8 C1 }Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
; F. L1 D9 Q- c5 U: lWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）4 |( t1 ^: h% M: V
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）+ v+ V0 ?! j$ N& D% d1 M4 h
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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0 N1 e& z$ k% [4 |, V3 S; G5 t总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……