《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。8 c8 L' H/ w/ l4 v
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5 U* X! ]( l( q5 w7 \8 ~/ W3 |影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。3 J, r2 c: N5 ?2 z8 r1 i0 R
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
7 A. J4 r2 p* m' _% ZHolmes: I just picked it up.- ?4 g! S/ E! x- c& Q
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）3 c; h, i6 j8 X4 c# I! X# h) Q; I+ T
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.$ _8 @- m( |  P
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
/ k8 H* m, u3 p/ w- {  VHolmes: You did.
: j2 o, i: U7 E1 E（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
: S/ {( {/ H4 k- H1 e3 x0 S' H* fHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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) H3 Y$ U" @! _' [5 X2 }3 E) t( Q8 ~宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。9 y- ~% X# ?  E7 {+ ^9 j3 [
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
- f2 u7 R% C& ~. ^Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
  o  h) ]# m2 t! RWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）7 x9 K2 c# M' m$ _+ Q. N4 o
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* C/ i2 U( j6 O4 r) G) b拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。3 o- m' h# X6 \* r) W
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( u1 Y  f& ?( L/ U% j9 L) S0 {Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。( _# u) O6 X0 X: G8 @+ l
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）' v! h' E# ^; O, f9 A/ j
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9 t5 ?! S7 U$ A; B' h! ZHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。/ o0 s% X1 J1 Y- G6 J+ B7 X
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。: U8 _) B+ J" L: |' K8 |5 Z
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
$ Z+ |) ~( P9 E/ k) o$ i# kIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
7 V( T2 Z2 r9 Q9 L6 HHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）: N) P% p, o2 f4 \2 U$ N3 d
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.* _# m- u- L3 [5 b: ~' K! ?
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。) u8 k' Z' A# d  Z
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）. t3 e; M" H: k1 t
Watson: Get that out of my face.
; O6 g6 ?5 ^5 c( u6 W& LHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
0 o- F2 F5 c" d! P* h' Q- _Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
( D; z$ T0 ^8 n" X5 Z( f! b& s路人警官Clarky上场。5 f  i* Y+ ~5 D$ o( I9 s) V8 w- ?
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.5 y8 ]% Y, h$ Z4 u( E
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）9 O7 t/ [2 f2 r) A
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
& K1 O4 q' p9 i- q) b3 g" HWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?. P2 n# M0 l. h; p2 t, W; }
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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* n! p6 {8 \. S( S, N- H墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
/ ]' A3 d/ H3 x: i（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）. \3 |9 r% F, g& n- v& X2 Z* T& ]
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
" p/ Z# U7 G0 Q* c1 YWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
3 `3 e* ]; t# W5 U8 {Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）* H/ U) V9 K8 H) j7 I9 R- U
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…& p) j8 q! h7 P0 K# I
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
; P! @3 n2 P# H  ?0 K- f% R死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。3 R: P* E: ^) g6 O
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）; Z' u; g8 D$ b
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。5 n: [* A, V% ~+ M* [
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）* t& y% O0 U& L$ B4 B
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; ^2 |& W+ {; _: q3 L/ U警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
- I. I! Q: i& YLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.+ X6 F4 t; q/ Y/ N6 q
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1 N; [& k9 _( F1 M% h4 B! p  u接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
7 a7 {+ O9 z( b0 a. k话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。3 D, V' E, a/ g, m2 G/ G/ Y
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）* V+ z1 `! e/ L* S! L& o
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
" V5 l0 q8 g6 p5 |. j' K' fHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
( A% I" T7 b) R1 y* I. c2 fMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
! u; {1 a/ b0 g; m# FWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
2 Q+ {8 j; i6 XHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
: [* i+ d1 X) g7 a  U. OWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
/ a. G/ H$ P2 M' N; N" jHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
5 k4 q. e5 I- `3 o5 I7 wWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）: `! x# h3 k6 R9 q8 O0 A
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）+ K8 m# z7 {! A0 o4 P! W( O
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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+ `  c. G' o7 J( j& q6 K3 o" t7 ~总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……