《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。6 L& A& L# J( v" H: L6 x7 V
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9 H2 n) G! [7 U1 E* @影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
3 d4 }" R6 ?) J( pWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）. Z) P+ w; C0 w8 y3 ]3 Y: g3 i4 Z
Holmes: I just picked it up.2 i. G# N/ |0 v/ i+ V% I
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
7 J( B+ Z1 ?1 H$ WHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
6 ^% R. o; u' p! y0 T  \Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
) n  y  O- V- @, ~) [* WHolmes: You did.' ?0 P3 |7 Z* Z$ B8 u4 K/ h. V( @5 v- ~
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）% X/ J- s2 }0 O( `/ g
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。5 ?9 Q6 Z, |* L* p- ]5 B) Q
Watson: Permission to enter the armory." @8 {8 f% Y* A1 f% }
Holmes: Granted.
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+ A% a) F; o/ _$ Z' J7 p2 A晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
7 R, Y  d# j' j# @5 p* Y, KWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）+ j1 k9 U0 C( R* e
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% a: o7 {% }+ \+ v+ ?) B拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。( x9 f+ G8 ~( C8 f6 J
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0 N3 I) F* w4 t9 GWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。( i- d) v. @' s+ n
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。  @* T( i8 O/ W# k
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。# S1 e9 }& j) |' `, ?  d
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; j6 M9 L5 I3 Q1 @Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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1 _- u9 G& |4 T* h' F" n9 aIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
+ s. Q! \9 l: h% B/ T% U" `! sHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）+ L8 U) ?( }. N
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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' O8 c6 D' _) J8 P& p" C1 d1 xIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
0 m6 U7 w; _% {Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
: C, z+ v) M0 t, rWatson: Get that out of my face.
& G, m; |+ j. B) [, _- r0 `Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
' {, P8 ^; E+ O! Y" iWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.1 j5 ]- i: ~5 J0 }( B# G2 [# ?
路人警官Clarky上场。" h6 D: X8 z0 f$ S
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.7 e8 R- C& K$ J! p7 Y2 p
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
/ c* u" R% `; G! A$ F; F2 I得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
  Z$ U, G1 H+ C( m3 Y4 kWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?/ g" ~& i7 b' B6 e2 y7 I. Q
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.4 @% \  ^) R: U1 _7 y
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。6 l# U( O- D; Y/ U
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
; n' Y0 }2 [6 R" [' i0 |Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely." T/ K# s. r1 U0 i' A, f
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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+ D0 j" \& j0 w河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
5 ?, c% P2 L0 T1 P0 X. GHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）" [: B% w- K* ^
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
% N9 w! o7 V2 l+ mWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
# o% n& r* P) `0 S; t6 X! A& o* V$ d死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。) U; k9 E" z  J$ U
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）: V8 L% t. M2 M0 K
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
! A5 y. @. z$ }6 C) l& mHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
" U6 @' w+ ]; _Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
2 n7 ~) H9 x! c# ~# e2 ?话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
. g. e; d) a9 g% nHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）2 W% M& F/ }: ^+ ^3 S% X
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
7 f+ u! |5 Y- T% ^+ n- f+ mHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
( @* ^7 [- r8 L8 X7 N0 CMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?# G4 O' c2 @9 N9 ?
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）0 Z! J2 `6 k* k. m, \8 g
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）8 {3 Y7 h& L* x) Q- R
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）0 R* A0 o# T9 }& Z& x1 C1 A$ z
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
; k& x$ v' Y' s  v8 EWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
) z5 c  d. h. ^" u. S" ~- lMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
% s: G* e' ?/ v  B% ~: {（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）5 \. N4 `6 g# J
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……