《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。: R% d8 @: ]* f- w* J0 B9 l1 h1 p
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）$ p3 |( }2 D9 a- R
Holmes: I just picked it up.
1 q3 m1 d/ P: v1 T1 e& wWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）1 n& _& ?% v& r2 i6 k
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.- i/ H2 O4 A% c& s' d4 C: ]
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）9 F+ j) f# J2 c) u1 {3 M8 l
Holmes: You did.
2 i  }( c% f7 n# T2 z  g9 C, `（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
; s: Q) W: |$ s& kHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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. ~0 I' u; v4 Z( ^宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
' f( |% p' \% c- y( J+ |Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
! c% e" s3 g3 o6 L% @, N; xHolmes: Granted.
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/ y' z: D8 t' m  F晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
  U1 A) o. Q- h7 z  tWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）7 b& q8 Q7 T6 d/ I
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& ?7 d% ^  u& B+ Q: C# B拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。$ J/ A; \. p6 M! F1 y) @- x
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1 z( u. m) |6 ^: g, n" S* X. OWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。3 T$ ~4 x5 [: x8 G
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）) k$ h  \$ K6 p1 ~" [5 p
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。/ K2 {3 X1 P; F, P) h' h' d
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。; l6 ^3 S' k0 y4 ~2 @6 j0 q
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: r! X2 k2 h8 t' K' NIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。7 P  W' Z9 v. Z" q4 m
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）: m( h; f, Q! Z- \
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?& U: h5 P2 v5 w
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
' z% q+ n; {, g) r5 |- gIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.( ~! \# _, U7 F" n
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
: r, G; Y; ~& qHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）" ?: a  x5 k9 N' @+ ?- p
Watson: Get that out of my face.2 C* t4 v7 k) P* }% Y' {9 [
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
" R+ F7 {" C% w* |7 s" N: SWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
- q0 Q& j8 R% Z) E3 X. C. a! }路人警官Clarky上场。' y/ L) i4 `- A: W- d5 n
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
& d$ G+ |9 }  B" a! E% UHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
5 R0 `; ~+ }, A* j' d得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。* [8 w: a4 {- e: u
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?' I: y" H0 h2 V
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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5 w7 q1 V3 s' h1 L* P墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。! C6 C! [1 X5 x% K% H+ ?
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
! y/ P9 R6 O4 j9 R' ?* G+ F- H6 jHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
" ~# `& z; ?, i; Q. XWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）: J$ z# a& R* ?$ D, L5 ?( I
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
5 Z+ M) b5 m5 B/ JHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）+ W+ j  L6 ^: M. L/ _6 ~# t8 q" Y
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…( N9 w# V' m& @* x5 w6 G
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）' _( s, O0 O! Q; [/ j9 X* f1 M
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。+ w8 q/ c/ z% F! P5 z) S- N- ^
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
+ x; S. o0 I. w) N$ {& Y后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
' ~8 ]% L5 ^- z+ gHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）0 Q7 y! ]) t2 }9 e! o$ Z
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
. T/ v3 X, u; sLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.- J+ _$ m4 Y; A6 O4 q* o2 m& T; K( v
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
! g6 _. i% N9 B0 P! a7 o  Z话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。' |; N  \$ a* P  R9 t. H
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
6 a8 ]& {- u: _5 TWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
4 ]+ k/ f0 w- j8 aHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）3 a* S& \5 G! [2 w4 s
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?+ z/ q, u8 w. E$ D2 p) D& }( F
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）: E* X. O  f3 E
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）$ f& e" H3 G" b5 R* v* T- Z
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）/ t+ @: |5 Z; B7 B
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）- |  C: [0 Y  Q6 Y  }& B) o5 x
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
. K1 @4 W9 T2 t: X( hMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）) W& T% S3 E! g; {7 h
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）* E3 Y( o1 R/ }) q: h& U7 [
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9 n, p# ^4 w/ f) n& }总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……