《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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: j2 N- ^( t& h9 e1 f0 N: ~影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
% [+ O2 s' j+ g) t3 `4 e( HWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
% W7 \! B4 V0 |) wHolmes: I just picked it up.
9 x' }+ d7 V$ ^) Y5 c, v5 QWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）5 d& a3 t- K4 C; c
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
" I' t5 Y0 E1 z% dWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）1 J) [7 s1 f  v6 [6 h% h7 h; b
Holmes: You did.
: e7 j& g3 E& J（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
9 R+ Z" W0 Q' A& N& j- q/ Q3 sHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.% |2 [, z" Z- n7 f2 |7 @9 j/ J/ x
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( f5 l) `' t) L) n; d7 f$ L; h宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。0 G- ^; F! K- C5 b' y: i1 a- E
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.4 A2 ]. a3 U" C" j+ a9 z
Holmes: Granted." w8 Z4 H; w/ g5 q" ~9 t
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. ~0 p2 [" A9 ]# n1 A# ?晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
; t! _- Y$ ~, Z0 h! t0 FWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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( v8 F) y8 A1 P拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。2 h2 {  S% l; Z& `$ w5 a( C
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
; J, u; Y  a# y; r/ u1 t6 ~& g( `Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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, a& `3 d3 m& Y+ S2 zHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。5 Q+ F# C7 {9 e% b
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: G3 V" a, e4 I2 Q" }+ p; SBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
! Q. D' i% R% N$ I( K: }! a% V（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）2 |" C1 M+ z& r( f& ^; `# s
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?# t; F- q% ?+ C% j6 L8 E
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）0 e! @* p. e6 i" v& j: Z5 R) C! O
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope./ p7 j+ l1 \9 s5 r+ M4 _
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。3 k7 i+ K# ]5 E' j0 U" }, {! s
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
, e$ p2 ^8 F2 ^6 _3 }( YWatson: Get that out of my face.3 G! T1 N& E% X. C
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.: j1 q- b/ A. b
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
' }! o+ Z7 N- S( }  E0 x路人警官Clarky上场。: z0 `0 @" K8 E% G; F9 e
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.$ A3 M4 f$ s2 K8 U
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
  Y. S7 N! W& T! u! c/ X) a得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
# L  }' P: h3 }8 wWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
" [6 B) @% J  r& N8 BHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.- B" S; y5 v9 Y6 @- x" A2 K/ ?. e7 d' `
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
9 L1 z. X4 d! q% |5 F（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
/ @# A3 e& U+ `6 A( P7 Z; OHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
$ Z! @0 O' T+ w2 N& lWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）6 Z0 f6 ]' y$ ^/ u6 s
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。  f' B- s" c" x
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）& M1 h, C: s  J3 A8 K
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…% i7 N0 {1 h# X3 t
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）) U) X8 x4 b& ]4 f* j, l& v* w
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。+ z! m" f- t9 ~  e
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
) _2 ^! W" A% a. c后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。8 H7 L$ @/ d. S6 u# v; B
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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, _! ?% b0 q$ r8 R) ]  D7 t警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
( P( d, D  {% `# W+ D  pLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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, K2 v+ q2 o& I& q5 h8 e7 c接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。! t8 L1 e& R% G( c
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。% S* p  U8 K& X0 n7 X3 ?
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
; }2 ~. s; ?3 P. N7 l' SWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
& x7 f: E& J# T9 K# `# ^9 vHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）* [8 A* I6 u- o) e  F' ^% u+ L% t
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?, y3 w+ _- N/ U: t3 p* @
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
  \8 J; x3 h$ }. h8 }Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）( C7 y. C  d. o. ]* l
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）; y( I/ }/ I6 D1 w! T$ X
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）! v3 x+ l) t$ N7 T" B
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）$ F6 R6 C. b8 k+ W  T" P  K
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）$ h5 l$ V% _% o7 B/ Z; `, s
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）+ p* \) h& `# [; j+ N2 B% f4 T
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* ?, X# ~7 F' T  B' F, e& u总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……