《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。* f3 W) J3 c2 U( s; }4 |" E/ \
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。( V3 f1 q! P0 T2 G
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）& b% J' o) G. E3 \/ P4 Z
Holmes: I just picked it up./ m$ i0 U/ H1 u5 Z' W+ R  ?
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）! V5 f  J6 R! P' o8 ^3 j  v) ]
Holmes: Knew I forgot something./ R+ }* U3 h5 q0 U' ]: J3 _( v
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
" ^! t, B7 o) m% S" \) IHolmes: You did.) k' J: x' R( q% u7 _4 j  c5 i
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）  i! z0 {2 `+ F8 X' U
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.5 {4 r) w& [1 J' S
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( ?% a$ [0 ~, \6 G宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。' `% x  G; e( _0 h
Watson: Permission to enter the armory., m) V7 I6 i' z; S! J' r9 \( Q
Holmes: Granted.
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% O$ H# W7 y# s0 ?4 r5 o晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
0 M$ `9 U/ d# z; qWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）7 s2 |4 E& L; Y: b6 F9 ?9 d
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" c- F) w1 b2 H4 W9 D& [6 {  O0 i拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。7 I5 b" y: H1 I* I. y: Z. Y& B6 K; i
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
* _- H! u; e1 AWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）1 T) L" ?: v" `9 r) A1 |: N
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5 W. Q# f$ m& F4 v. KHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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( T/ W+ D. S/ P3 i& y6 m! u4 eBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
/ J+ _9 {4 b$ W( M) f4 ~（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
$ ~2 D' ]7 v8 s$ F6 M* |Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?6 i; }  A# ~# ?9 \5 }
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）! v0 v# {) S$ C3 x- c0 l+ [
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.% k! d# s1 y/ j. O0 T8 I% `
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。" {! X& V; ^  R
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
1 i* Z) c, Y( I" J- S) xWatson: Get that out of my face.$ R4 Q$ w& c/ P3 F/ |( [' o# E
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
6 d# s' J. n$ V3 BWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
2 `4 E% M- r, W/ Q路人警官Clarky上场。- M1 I8 {' j0 n" l- H4 k! Z
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.5 Z4 X% [6 Q& }
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
2 Q5 j$ ^9 @$ i0 o. S6 W* _: c得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
4 m5 K! @. w% NWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
# y1 r+ j6 |% K1 T3 G' AHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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: d# Y& ?% d0 S. L7 h4 tHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely." m, n8 u  k; k& B! p/ X
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）" x# {* [7 {/ s
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。1 J9 W" n0 d+ x) m1 P
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）" u0 w) z* D! x! M& T
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…8 T, v' s- f1 a+ G7 u9 T, A! B5 a! F
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）! \% T; D+ [1 Z% s
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
7 @: R  t7 ?% D3 d  P3 sHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）1 ]" M- P  C" T0 l3 s" L4 e
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
! s8 w+ h/ w- KHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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. e/ L# k4 \' T$ h8 y警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
3 [7 d( J! B0 I' V/ xLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.6 ?% i4 X/ Y$ ?0 l" d5 z9 ?+ o
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
8 j3 }5 B6 \- t7 v: Y1 K! h7 a* G话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。1 p* [" g3 a/ _1 V3 l
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）9 ?+ |7 P; ^7 {& a! x# S% M  D
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）4 a  ^$ M/ a* C! r' P1 ]5 S
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
: M' x  Z$ Y# K8 t' |! ^& p5 iMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
9 }8 y; y, q9 g5 o# ~& qWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
! x- u: i: G' d" S" E5 ^Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
7 U7 g0 U# M% i& G/ N& _8 CWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）) g7 E, C1 K' U8 x& a# s; D+ ?9 ^  L
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
" t6 a# \+ ~! t& D! v% {9 {Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）) w2 b6 ~# g& l+ \" n
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
1 l0 C9 B, ?* e, v, k; J, u（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……