《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
/ }6 L' A& N: A! G7 o$ AWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）, T* K/ V8 c  t: E7 ^! V0 W4 o6 [
Holmes: I just picked it up.
' B& M- j' |3 z& N" d7 l/ }2 {; ?Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）* {7 k9 j7 @- o
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
; p5 O+ s- R' S! n1 h( wWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
5 p+ G" n0 c/ lHolmes: You did.0 [# O2 g5 \8 [) p4 q& q, S+ L/ k
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）  ~2 \( E1 z' Y* B# ]! V
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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3 j# ?" u! B" n' Y( W! O宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
  E+ v7 \# x4 {" m  t8 N0 X& e: GWatson: Permission to enter the armory.# r8 m. N% a3 m5 H
Holmes: Granted.# X9 G/ |! y4 t: Q
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% y% V# S7 h9 q* R3 P! f- s6 }* z晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。$ N2 u: I) n' D7 k  d
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。% B' \$ y1 G7 X* f* ?& E" Y
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' {; g0 ~1 U6 M# BWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
7 `( n" ?% a% ^) a5 uWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）7 O: F8 r, P& ?
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: ^: S1 v' x8 |0 Q0 eHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。1 v# q. P" u) c3 E. A8 R8 x
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。, G. ~4 e8 r9 i; W
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* Z& q/ C3 C; U( E7 o3 UIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
7 r, I3 L7 c3 _. s5 T& iHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）& M/ t- ?3 _- ]  e
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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$ X+ W8 r2 m5 {- HIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
0 J" a& z" A. x4 k& b7 ?5 i9 IHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
: h- h, Z5 ]% O+ [Watson: Get that out of my face.2 @: J) c0 N" ^; M" |% k' U
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.8 a$ X0 Y( b1 M. u
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
9 N4 ~8 G( ?* [. U1 ~$ R路人警官Clarky上场。2 G- w3 \  I' z! {+ d. N
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.3 B% W' q2 q# u/ q: q* K# Y
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）$ `( T; I; q7 V& d% p0 z
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。  J' x* A" ]* K! ?) N5 E
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
+ f8 l, y% U! D1 s8 z. nHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.: |0 Z2 D5 V1 L7 s- R) n3 v
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。* b5 r$ i( \  z( j7 O
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
; z' p  g  `/ m( V. hHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
/ Z0 ]( o) ]$ z' @% C, Y9 E* ?% QWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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8 p- u3 w8 |0 E' `; z2 b河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
7 L9 {: |  ~0 z: t) JHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）# A9 n  i2 n3 \$ s$ z4 @. \9 M9 d7 h
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
9 Z( I! p( t( V7 Q# O& H8 v  |& ~$ `Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）, Z& B! M/ b. g" r$ K2 h
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。" a. d, r/ C" j7 v& `3 N  Z
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
/ i  Y2 B$ v9 ~- k( N, e后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。# [" F( X' z0 ?6 l; t% o+ M
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
$ G$ ^% y; v; ^9 dLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.0 z9 T% r; `1 F  h/ a
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。, I9 X/ O8 N# X* ~& f: ?" m
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。9 X5 h0 m! K4 ^5 i  G. B
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
3 X4 j+ x3 r0 f2 }! ]) d' w7 jWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
$ z$ u2 A3 L3 MHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）' D( A) Q- b9 F8 S
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
7 g# X# B( {( Y6 ]* L2 WWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
) t: ~8 H) h8 A  [0 rHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）( c) J: _8 d2 ]; u" ~* n6 e' C
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
& Z2 G) K  H) Y* q' W4 ]7 u! fHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
  {2 k% x9 @% }7 f# k- S) C9 AWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）0 w* P+ g+ b4 f+ F# l* B
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
4 b8 g. i' r: q$ l7 H% t( N# ^- }2 X（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）  C, s0 ]' N9 g6 B7 O
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; t3 x: G8 o# t; T1 `5 |总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……