《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
6 d8 W, m9 z& a1 q" y, R. }Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
  q9 c1 o  p' z* J7 f; y, ^9 v0 mHolmes: I just picked it up.
; `; S; N2 r, i  K' G2 e8 D. b4 aWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
+ j2 O  ]! P8 B$ N0 F8 [Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
$ J/ K" T; J- p2 q$ ]Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）" i  S' g) E6 B( x& n4 p" c
Holmes: You did.
. x/ q; `; P- V. k) i6 [, j（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）' ^9 d8 m8 A# m; l
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.- O! u( j2 P2 e- ?9 K  F8 Y
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/ x* x5 z6 e" L4 k; k" }7 h* d# w宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
9 {/ N6 o5 [9 y8 hWatson: Permission to enter the armory." U& K( L# l4 S; [# x4 e3 L
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。: f! T9 n' I+ @  V7 l  X3 C
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）: H2 g- Y0 w2 l) F: l/ g: H
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- o: b; I8 [7 a: _6 ^% H( [拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。& z; Q# O1 x. ~, H
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
" g# ?, ^9 D! v  TWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。8 e6 F- `; Y, g, D# O1 {+ x+ S% j
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。! j/ n8 Y1 w4 N( h: }
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）) h$ q4 x4 m3 [, \* C7 j/ Y
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
# O# o( J- r" X) ^1 M8 xHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）; D3 h5 J0 j, b' E
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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  W+ g8 \* a- g7 pIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。% u4 V6 O" N9 P9 H  y6 v' v
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）% q: y, e1 i. I; O
Watson: Get that out of my face.) R; B- A  U- Z; [# _$ V& e
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
* B& G/ b7 ~/ D( @- qWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.* X  Q/ k9 D: `. H0 x9 j! z, Y
路人警官Clarky上场。9 r% n2 E4 R& U& p# I1 F6 V+ H
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
' e# I* x2 ]4 S6 _! bHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）( M7 A2 b! i3 m# y3 [
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。9 w6 }! ]0 L8 |# {0 G5 k4 u! W
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
! G% c4 I# B6 W3 Q* g+ tHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.! P5 ]' ]6 V6 ?8 l) C7 `% c, H
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
/ i! f9 b# j" V9 z+ Z2 c（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
7 w) j3 D9 l$ HHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
3 O& S# ?2 |6 K/ p* `$ R0 @" y) oWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）5 W; c% o, t9 w5 a: H+ W- W
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9 n9 j( I0 R1 C6 D! `河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。$ q1 l$ t7 Y; `: l1 |
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
, g# R  D7 b6 j# aBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…" [+ K8 E+ {/ X, v% d
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）3 i5 m" m/ ~" L: w9 ?  @1 N- H
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
& X0 m1 A( U. s6 q+ H$ c$ xHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）# h# O; T5 K) p
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。& J' g* d9 @) J& x  E6 I
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）) ^; N5 w2 X: H' z4 W& A
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。( c. U. C1 F* U' o! O* g
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.+ M  k/ _- \$ z; D; N: X, }
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" G3 H; M; \! S. z$ F5 s接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
: i" ~1 L7 W) v4 L! M. }" l1 p话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
4 S1 _# |, L/ m0 v4 ?, a  U- XHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
5 r2 l2 r' A0 {! E! vWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）4 I* `9 j/ m9 Z7 H: C. r
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）, y5 A. `3 ?7 @
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?1 Z. z$ [- R; ^* c  e7 b/ l5 ]
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）6 m6 A2 V( a9 k# y$ m
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
& O- v& `. [2 `Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）3 J, B8 d) r% C. N
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
2 D6 m: P, Z/ N. j3 G+ y& Z% R# [Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
  v$ ~' {* [9 B1 t0 E+ a5 VMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
- T  m" r9 Z2 ?! u5 g6 L: y) c（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）, m9 s0 ~; g- e
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% o0 c& ?6 ~+ s: q- j总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……