《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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6 C* |$ K& T/ k6 s4 W: M' H5 n影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
) u- ^3 z2 Z; c9 d* W% [2 f* PWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）! C- u7 O) @% A+ H; O. k; P, M' F
Holmes: I just picked it up.% @- B, e* Y/ h+ u$ {) [  U
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）9 |6 g; y6 ~/ t/ n  S3 R
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
9 _. j' y5 h6 SWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
4 U6 s) ~% }- i; HHolmes: You did.5 O1 W% ]( q3 k- M$ D
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
9 P" U' ~: v; k3 }Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。' t% [/ {+ d- N! h# ^) d! Q
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.# N( K3 B5 P& v* K# e7 r; X
Holmes: Granted./ Z8 a% }/ a" k5 j
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9 W4 E! O/ ?- Q晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。9 g' S6 J3 p( B& _2 t! X/ S2 q& |2 Q
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）: k- ~7 b  w. a0 j4 U
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8 E2 \2 }$ {7 P6 |+ B, C拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。6 [  p7 g/ \" M8 v- x1 k
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）6 ]$ S3 o3 z5 R
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4 U  K: P2 P; U! ~Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。$ c8 s# l5 t& f" B( F7 v
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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  G* z& C! ~$ w  M3 U2 v+ I2 rIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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2 j0 Y% U% n" b. w, u8 yIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
5 ]& ]& l2 J+ y" FHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
8 f$ F9 K( D0 p9 c$ B+ lIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
$ x$ n5 X1 W' J/ OHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）- |5 ~/ _! A- q, l
Watson: Get that out of my face.
& |: Y7 K+ U0 G0 K- d4 r" DHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.; b  d( Q. f% v* n
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.3 w* A3 V4 L. h5 j0 T
路人警官Clarky上场。
6 t6 x$ T+ J/ N# ?# |4 @Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.  v0 B' f6 F, Q! X: X: m$ U8 s8 z
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
9 A( N3 z: i! o" X8 q得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
$ v# H3 q: \2 i$ A5 lWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
6 l8 \6 [1 Z9 x6 F/ x; P2 ?Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.% J0 A& o0 p& f6 l) O. s, w
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2 Y" K: Z+ H# T+ i1 t  ^墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。1 J( c& F- z7 Z; \6 Y- i& ^
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
* h0 J- v; G0 uHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.+ W9 E# C  b# o: X
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）' E; J+ K9 R2 ?( m
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。2 [; _/ ?& s) n( C# X0 w' T
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）- ]7 z0 f. }4 \3 F4 B9 K
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…  v& \2 m; {/ \5 a/ t
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
! H3 G* S' g( u8 ]* V" f+ Q6 Y2 q  m死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。' P" D! i3 K+ t% j  s8 j
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
/ Q8 B2 x- o* R# ?2 I- N& W+ \  m后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。9 s' L% u6 w9 A; E0 R! E
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）6 l6 i8 h- l6 T9 I1 G
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* v' g/ q4 B3 e, S* K# |警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。! N9 X% C2 _& [( t
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing./ A" u) m& R$ w( H. ^# Z( m( L' |
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: y+ i4 f/ O; U9 f* l: V$ v# @接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。2 b3 l0 J. ]2 B6 ~* X
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。; ]  b) j# I5 R$ h
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
+ Y9 ]" ^5 U; bWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）* Y/ |5 w* Z; H  v3 [2 S1 i
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）' w4 i2 G  }! [% }3 }2 w6 N
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
, t& `6 y$ _, P' Q  k  KWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）' Q/ {( J" k% Y" u) Q+ @
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）' R: V6 u8 C- y# L2 L2 O$ T
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）, Y8 j- Z! U! L0 O
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）2 E, ~! y+ M* F, h# ^
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
' l) f+ [- @0 g$ j  \Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
" \8 }) n$ ~7 c7 Z2 C+ W（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……