《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
# g2 {) I! W" q0 z% L$ ]+ M% _% B***********
; ~6 `5 `. l8 h' j" {5 X9 w! R# f$ @$ a1．
  r: s8 M. n: N+ _3 k' @3 P影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。: h1 z4 {3 k( Z
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）, L! R2 H0 A0 @) Y; ^- u/ l
Holmes: I just picked it up.
/ ]6 `2 S: e* f  {4 Y0 UWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
9 z9 i% L1 D) U* u. S. UHolmes: Knew I forgot something.& p4 j- }( M, k% B
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）/ b) T5 A% r! U, z4 L
Holmes: You did.
% e  T; `2 g. w# c! f（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）1 G% y6 @. @- I9 A: ^
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
# ^+ P0 m7 R' z. A) q2．
4 n8 N9 i, |2 d! M7 ?  O7 h宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
8 Q$ d6 T% r; D( ?1 J+ |2 i* |Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
2 K, \$ v" Q6 o) I! nHolmes: Granted.9 t1 P; m8 ~3 H; G. `! o
3.* Y. |% e" ~0 b+ V0 z! z
晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
8 N& _/ r7 L! f7 O7 ~0 ~+ ?Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）1 q- G4 E, a' n$ F8 Y3 B
4．
, f5 W# u) [( q. N& S0 A- X拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。' D+ k: O2 e; T7 f# _0 c
5．/ P' V6 }7 h) W$ n$ {- B: [
Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
5 L6 G9 v0 {# n, q6 GWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
8 t8 K- b: |5 C4 v. x6．
3 b* q" ?& Q2 R4 W+ mHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。6 f7 Z8 s' X( @# L( t9 z- Q
7．1 B6 N# m; w( @7 r
Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
. |4 R' I2 G% W, q8．$ L; b! c5 G8 i4 I9 D& a0 M
Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
; T" w0 i9 @% I7 q7 K（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
/ `! O! ]0 n; w0 j# s1 v/ h# ~Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?4 H- g3 d# n  n+ @+ O
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
: c* W+ C1 f5 [- n  C- w. F' mIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.+ @5 E. A& j2 e: K% U
9．
+ {) _6 G2 R$ R& BIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
3 c* p: y3 J9 ]" N4 PHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）# g8 r  S) A& L8 V3 O4 Z1 N- _0 o: [
Watson: Get that out of my face.
% H( Z/ s1 [! ^/ k* B7 C; MHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.( B; j4 g  V0 `# r
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.! M. B8 ?+ v9 j0 h  n; _, o" s& }
路人警官Clarky上场。
5 S/ _6 C8 a1 {: ]* G( r. m2 fClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
7 R1 _- i/ q( RHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
3 ^3 r( g5 Q- D得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。  W' s0 m; e* ]$ ?) M2 G
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
# _: Y: A* R' z. gHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
+ a  M% H! C  G2 U4 O5 B; M8 u3 w1 d10.  |. G9 B2 P: ]0 z
墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。. y* _5 ]* J% J
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）% N- f- m) `6 v. ^
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
  a. N! j9 B& \- R0 w; T% O8 GWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）4 F5 a  q! @2 M, J" @
11．2 b0 }0 K5 X9 z9 x
河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
4 w/ f/ p5 |& k) ^/ JHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）( y' U5 V) A% S8 E
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…5 `, P/ e) u- C" w) k  z
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）" |& [4 N$ x; h
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
  g, i: j; F5 [% p8 X; fHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
6 L* I+ u2 v- }+ n$ C* d! ]" ?后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。- \  W& E; D* u3 D
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）3 V0 y( g, V4 G7 ^5 z7 K! }
12．
- `  X) Q# L6 M5 m0 n. W  ]警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。+ F3 w6 v, J! c$ w% @
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.# g1 [0 k/ S; c: D( K$ Y
13.) G* ]1 L/ M7 v4 ^  o
接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。" _8 c5 S6 h9 X- n5 N
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。" U2 a# L/ s7 v/ r3 ^# X
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
% O3 l3 o/ I( C" I3 }# K5 n! lWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）+ f# m8 Y4 @3 l
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）8 |" O7 v* X" r3 l& C  y
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?4 e1 h7 P% w" y) x( @8 k" P9 I
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）- \+ ~4 B3 C$ R7 D' Q+ Q
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
- F* U" f3 h" |. _) [Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
9 V8 H. K% y6 e7 ]% c) GHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）# x) _) }' H$ m% z1 Z+ K* v
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）6 q& Z" S* ^2 g4 c
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
* f5 w1 N+ C, g" D  ^- E（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
  A# d! g; t/ ?% W& s, P7 x# L***********! _0 B) ?" F$ S
总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……