《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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9 A, s+ P! m  b- Y+ {影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。( v3 N. i& F: Q! G2 d: a% j, M* L
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
1 P1 W$ U# {7 `; p8 Y  {5 O( y2 o8 PHolmes: I just picked it up.
9 ?  w8 Y9 g: U9 U' x3 ]* ~7 [2 w- a: gWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）: Z5 A: W) O! W; M5 X
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.. ~0 N! u, D1 h) L
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）$ l9 _5 D  |) h) R) ~
Holmes: You did.
/ r3 @; Z7 w( k% U4 G（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
1 ~, G3 Y- a; ?8 ^) g) AHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
4 N, d* Q+ U) r/ G8 Y& s/ X: v- dWatson: Permission to enter the armory.% ~, M5 k: a3 b; i) B( r: W3 E
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。7 L; e! ]0 N; }" s  }# j
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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# J& |* G; T! j+ N拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。0 I% h: w, n* o9 @/ x0 u
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。0 o9 \, R( R/ T7 u0 ?8 K
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。# M0 m6 {) U  W8 f* `9 V! Z1 J
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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  W! _/ Q2 ~8 y' F' z3 xIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
$ C3 z/ Y6 ^: P# e（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
+ x: G7 a% c1 `! ^! F: vIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
4 j; E6 C9 D2 B% f$ @* uHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
$ ]: Z0 ^3 u6 TIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。5 D: a9 x4 b8 q+ [7 s: y5 w
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
' X' K  T8 D, J# d0 ~' |# FWatson: Get that out of my face.
' b* V* ?' ^% r# a# e% G2 D6 [Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.# x5 I& g8 K4 F9 U& Y& K8 W
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.! Q' A4 i* q# |$ \) [! [  `
路人警官Clarky上场。1 c4 U% K% `; h
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.4 j, x, z' \& n5 n7 c' E, v& f# E4 F# ]
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）& M6 Q1 z3 H! ]5 B' m5 i% I" B2 h
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。+ \6 Z0 c- Q$ g
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
) g# V* y8 z& e8 v! L. eHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.3 q  ?  N) \8 T4 Z- {
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  O6 z/ ^) a2 j7 S墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
" Y2 I$ f% f3 x（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
4 C  H2 m8 ]) G& E3 K, f# jHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely./ e$ S+ M( d6 o& O- j
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）- o" p8 i% B2 `7 Q/ H0 Y
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。3 i& e& q: b1 j, r$ e3 K
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
. }0 H  w1 y  p' a4 g( lBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…. D; f% C6 d. _5 a0 O2 V
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
  S( n. R# ]: o0 ]( ~死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
. S1 W) N5 |. y; f; kHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
* h0 S) o  S4 X( B后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。/ L0 q: o' ]6 k% M" T
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）  F. V" e/ P& N  }# x1 H
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
5 k/ u% v& w* Q3 I; x6 O, _Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
6 k; P4 J2 H* b话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
6 y  K( k2 l2 Y5 b2 f1 cHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）% F  e+ L) q9 m. O9 q8 w
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）# H$ {' \# ]0 z. P& A- N# H
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
  I* I) @3 ?2 `: E- y/ s* gMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
( L6 }; R) @# O7 j/ WWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
8 ?- z; Y9 ?/ w0 @Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
+ K: c/ h" E! A9 q2 h6 P, ]Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
4 k- W8 w' W4 z6 [Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）4 w/ p; C/ I- J3 q( W
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）. M/ y2 l% x, n5 W
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
& C! |  p6 i- P% A$ T（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）* X; Y2 V+ C8 H2 G4 [
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……