《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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. u6 d. S) I' J影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
" c5 W' p. F. v5 k9 OWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
/ |1 @, w1 ~/ m: Q' G# U) SHolmes: I just picked it up.
, x2 j# l+ X9 U% F! k5 sWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）6 {; |. E& b0 ~& c+ h
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
+ M2 i$ g- I. u! f- R; b5 FWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
1 u% z  K8 h" |# r8 h4 H5 ^Holmes: You did.
5 ]8 d  F* Q' r8 L+ f: ^（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）& _& {" B5 H" M' T5 n& Q
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.- R* v2 j  t3 R7 f2 J
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
( y3 G2 O# t7 q9 g8 G6 \Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
( @  Q, N% [# a  Q9 EHolmes: Granted.
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/ m2 X+ x4 E4 a- J晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
* r( ~$ {  O0 h, xWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）6 q! Z) K! P7 S0 Z
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) h$ Z% d; A* I拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。9 \" u) d, ^+ I/ [: s
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/ u7 s8 g" V5 R: o& iWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。. s. I$ K  O+ r4 D- H  e! P
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。+ Z; @+ K- S: ?
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。: r: S% `" F7 f5 P% \& i# ?
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$ e' C, `  t% d8 f! cIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
! @8 K, g, Q5 T# }- j7 p（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）  S1 A$ q4 g$ X& p) t
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
) p. @3 r) q+ L; V  GHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）  U- D: x# c3 ]4 W
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.* |; O0 j. f3 B6 J) w
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+ W' F/ b) i- ^% D  t$ [. {; m/ RIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
! b7 o2 w) G8 e! T. }5 k, lHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
2 c5 o/ u+ U6 w; m, C3 MWatson: Get that out of my face.8 I3 D- A* V3 P9 Y4 \
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.. U7 M5 k/ |" l, L/ H: ]9 n* U
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
/ r. Y7 ^: o( C3 b2 H) s路人警官Clarky上场。* D" a+ X- t5 _( P- @# u: G
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.1 S% e, O& w$ t6 l( I' ^
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
  b" d. \8 y4 F7 ~) i得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。/ k" r4 F( v9 m/ u& F5 ]; G
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?% d: u; U! m- H% D
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.+ I1 d: ]0 `& V% \! r5 o9 }
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+ ~" e6 u: ~3 ?' m7 R% x' K0 c墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
* I$ R4 P1 Z( w4 t: B' @（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）! a5 y7 X) u, u6 C; N  _+ n1 g
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.; l$ |0 w  a6 D& X& g
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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2 _6 c+ y% @$ k河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。+ k/ [1 S* W) d1 [  f8 y
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
" q8 B/ R" U" {Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
- K! Q0 x! ~+ ]; o# c2 B, lWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
# j# Y1 R* \$ K! u+ l( y死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
/ e% Y8 k8 a5 `. ~9 x  [Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）5 }1 j- m5 E" {' g8 \1 g
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
" \/ C/ S/ Q- e9 RHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）) k7 \$ ?" P# J
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。. c. w  h  Y  e& ]; Y
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.- R7 s" _1 V4 _" S: F
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
. T, ^! `8 v0 ?, p6 y$ [! ?2 S话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。* K: S1 E5 P& M) Z$ g" p- |4 z) p1 P
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
, m, v2 ?5 Q' `9 F% _Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
; ]3 e2 @3 w; {- I$ r% E6 f8 VHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
# `4 }. x4 A3 g' AMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
9 k# `0 ], W0 \( l& h3 WWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
8 X" n6 u7 a/ I( u* o$ o( _* V/ |Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
* n/ I% S! ?9 W  ^" w) C: r2 HWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
$ P" }' d5 G) uHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）4 ]7 e: z% v# l& ]) R
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）# d! C- M0 _8 l% T
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）7 _6 E$ b9 w* ~6 X' V
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）- W1 m9 m7 P+ S' ~8 ]3 q% M
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……