 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 ! A& r$ R5 s# K3 t d, S8 ^
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 ! t! P$ I9 ~1 ~5 Y
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) - y8 K4 d* H& i4 i/ o; V6 u
Holmes: I just picked it up.
) ^$ V7 \. ~/ b7 k* P( ^4 ?Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
1 L1 g. w4 A- F* c) aHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
9 u7 w1 Y' z- `2 i1 n( I, z! d1 zWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
- U" F2 O. E/ k! u: |5 E& M- ZHolmes: You did.9 G0 }6 x: p% f" W0 a/ e) n
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
2 @# \% U* o1 f& B9 m) f/ j* ]Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.: _7 L5 X5 K1 u6 @3 K
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 : h" O* g& l, t' \
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.) _9 t4 b( S0 y- u# Q2 I
Holmes: Granted.4 h& p( t6 v. }
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5 H/ j8 h$ E8 @- a晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 & M1 i" m4 {: d U1 E! y* n
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5 t1 Z) T$ _: n
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( ` J/ V3 ~, s9 @& oWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 , d4 X, Y/ x) t: b& Q4 q, q9 ?7 s( |$ `7 D
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) & e2 T7 a, p) J( d) b
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$ ]7 |2 Z% ~9 I1 ?% r: N6 F+ W& lHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 0 l- _, H0 t3 V, s% s
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, V9 b9 p- h: {( ?& d/ zBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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2 ~+ y, y5 K3 R6 \( k, c- ^' p8 i2 J! DIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
* k9 {9 e K' @3 Q( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
" U( V5 [+ ^/ q9 d. I+ r; ^6 lIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
7 g& _+ A5 p4 w0 H8 A% s! iHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) J- k6 {+ _8 a/ w, k
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.* W- O7 V4 Q. \+ p9 D" P
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
: `+ U( p2 H0 J& IHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 8 y3 i! h" m5 z/ ? ?7 w3 P0 M
Watson: Get that out of my face. y( e* L" a2 {7 a# D' Z9 O
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.$ ?6 x; \( y9 e3 g
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
5 ]6 D& O( a/ A: ?路人警官 Clarky上场。 / o. i% R4 |9 D/ {; Q$ {
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
. J4 f) g* Y9 w( F' D7 hHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) $ f O* x0 X* D2 V
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 U+ G/ d M: Y& ^
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?5 _! D7 w8 S& f2 j3 J0 g
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.) ]' o) }- m5 Y! d: ~2 W
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 ' r: q& ~8 L1 h
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 8 Q) f( N! J( Q' ~" ^- S
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.1 |) Z$ e$ [6 L' L' X9 q
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) ) U5 W( @* ?3 @( \# g/ c' U
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! i7 I3 }( g# K% ~) m" m P河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
! K# }" A7 T7 s7 T( yHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) W% w: V! ^. [7 ?& ?! c3 z
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…$ `3 F5 i4 m& N R) ?. n; \
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) * [ q; M# |2 N( f) j
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
a; E) |" }/ n) RHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) ) ?6 E \/ Z9 V# q0 O
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 2 u* Z% Z9 c m$ Q, k6 {
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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; a1 D4 \$ K/ y8 b; [警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
. T \0 B( v8 ^; s! a; `% Z& c/ YLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 + f7 l6 U1 a1 M% u. j! J
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
# b; D, ~! G3 o' w6 y' GHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 7 l: S5 I8 w8 h
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
" I/ q: y8 p O7 kHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
$ j9 b5 g/ P( H0 z% sMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
/ Z7 S6 c1 e1 ^0 Q/ k) AWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
+ X. ~: c) K( tHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
) y! T, N! k6 v4 bWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) % v( n b0 H9 A
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
/ b3 Q* k- ~' I+ jWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
/ d0 M, a8 V; Y! V# ?# tMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
/ A0 a. f" C g& T# B# `5 B! u( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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