《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
' `. W: p3 K" _4 x7 gWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
3 z0 ^! E5 D- a8 F, GHolmes: I just picked it up.8 y+ ?% H* W" R+ F1 M1 g+ [& i% ]
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）- O( ~( o5 ]/ n. _: x: z
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
. L" O% s1 V3 T& {# b3 N; p/ p5 IWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）6 S* i. S9 C6 w  i( `8 |
Holmes: You did.( t7 a) d1 q: n9 [; @
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
: u$ @" ?, ^% cHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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6 m1 C% k4 M0 A0 U) ]宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
- f7 a  z' Z  z9 h9 cWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
" w. P5 i" ~/ {% b4 ?Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。; I) k# q' Y7 A* @# F
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。+ h$ J" M- i5 r3 q& r7 j
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% X- U, E& f1 G0 r/ [, TWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
1 a8 O6 [0 [; q6 G4 FWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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# K# k/ T) r# e4 Y0 A7 t' }- `Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。& `6 q+ j) M! D0 J5 \# m
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" L* z6 G. |( C. H. f- r3 QIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。$ c6 _# ^, C$ Z
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
  p/ R' o: Y9 R) S* `: W4 OIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?, A: m  D& ?. e4 `6 f; n
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）5 j: K5 z. K, r  V; T: h7 J6 q
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。' y! F; z/ E1 q. ]$ K7 w; g
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）+ I1 W/ L5 R4 c/ f7 ~% `1 k9 c0 ]
Watson: Get that out of my face.
! [# F* B! a' B( xHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.; \! O  d; Q! X& m; G
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
! y1 t4 T0 a& I路人警官Clarky上场。
9 l& [0 v! j6 x# `7 E$ dClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.$ T; \! Y3 W7 a" v
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
7 h& U% c7 Y. F5 S得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
8 X' c1 F3 W1 G# hWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
, I. o; B) p( ^, w" x% z4 uHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not., H8 R4 E. C$ D. P
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% h* c7 b6 `  F# Y! B- D5 g1 B墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
3 g2 z# [: j3 h5 F; y（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
0 s0 {1 x( T4 n- @  X3 jHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
) k/ i9 j( L! b2 x9 {+ |6 x) OWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）$ h8 y% S1 V9 |6 y
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
% v1 k- c: N$ N. _Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）% W/ ~, v. n5 A# t7 g! d
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…7 v/ M2 p8 P0 j6 G9 T: V4 Y
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
6 M1 d. j& n2 k9 `死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。' U* C( G7 @1 a. P6 h
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
- Z9 f: \2 |% ]0 ?. m: O) p" W) S* R后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。' d( i  Q7 f0 K# c% \/ F
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）* q4 u4 x9 m8 a- d7 `: x1 A2 _
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. d: V$ Y# O1 \+ a; ^  s2 |警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
- F/ j" w1 d5 K/ x  cLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.5 z( r5 s! }/ E. @) ?1 x4 x
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8 w$ ]. h, i/ D: K' `$ c接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。/ k% C( `2 v4 E4 o  H+ g2 t
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
7 {7 G1 S1 I  d; n) {- I& `9 rHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
: @  P4 ~$ V) |" [" @0 H9 Z* HWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
6 g( s3 p, I7 x/ wHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
* E9 X+ Y. _0 m7 f' {Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?% [9 U7 t9 p7 M0 {. g
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
% R) f7 [3 K" O: _$ L1 [Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）7 e' u* @1 U' U% c# l* @0 N% @
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
% N3 |, o/ Y1 X3 S: B' t' q! u, p0 _Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
0 R4 l: y  F8 [9 N$ Y! nWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）- m  Y  t+ s2 p
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）' V8 R4 ^3 m  N' P% D8 o
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……