《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。; a) i' S4 y* T2 q  }" r$ G3 [
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
$ o- r& e  {$ a7 v, i8 LWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）6 b/ f2 E/ h1 b
Holmes: I just picked it up.
( v4 }0 Q9 t: h. T5 qWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）4 ~4 l$ W+ b& v
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
& Z( ~; V) M: C) }1 wWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
/ d6 B1 \% c( g% c1 t3 xHolmes: You did.
" E( j( Z- w# J5 S) @5 F（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
, j& k" w% Y9 I3 w' p# i) jHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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4 f7 s9 {* O  ?4 g2 `宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。0 g4 R. y8 w' @. y. X: e) R
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
1 M' Z5 {) b1 \! R/ d, K) ~3 cHolmes: Granted.
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, p/ u3 F$ g! K/ e晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
/ i" [; ?4 E1 d) h' `) i) F2 P6 ~Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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1 S, L9 y1 ]- l7 i$ V拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。- ^% d# J; R! p1 F2 L' v% w, r
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- v  T3 @( f4 p- g. P( u; q  TWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。8 z8 A$ F9 v: g" j
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）8 k$ H! Q4 P+ K9 R6 r6 X. B
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。2 B5 b/ c- f9 C  q& F0 i0 U" {
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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# q- O) X6 f2 N4 B  ~Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
- S2 B, Q* ?; h6 B. q0 ]（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）8 r/ C2 L8 v7 x/ x9 v( F
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?  ^; P4 G4 f( x2 W
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）$ x6 M/ j: h0 V! }% k" R
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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: N* m8 @) \7 \Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。9 `9 C# E5 {6 |8 L( c/ k
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）) f8 M- L) C3 {  a
Watson: Get that out of my face.
0 P! d8 [+ K1 b! HHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
' v; X1 [8 N8 [9 XWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
1 V. S# x( u# U! [# L7 o4 v% j路人警官Clarky上场。
/ q/ K7 Y& X1 {. t1 k- A/ oClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
- C) ~1 ^- J+ {1 V' Q2 l- k  VHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）. S% ?) M: i, F2 b
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。8 b# F+ f; s' [" S: P+ w$ n- {- Q
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
, M% E- D' a! Z! g* yHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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* Z0 G# q1 R' o7 ^墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。0 H. C. R  J& u; J
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）! H6 k2 n  F0 T! K
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
/ s8 j7 X) g) z7 V/ @" d. GWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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. V* q5 r- ^! e) `; a0 [河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
$ M1 O# h* M) yHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）/ X6 d% W7 t7 W$ C
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
, ?) O' H6 p' e% j- o% @Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
1 w* X; K+ I! o4 Q死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
0 k4 p9 x5 R1 e( FHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
) |, ~7 o* p9 r; F后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
/ |2 _$ K4 R( P6 E* V$ E+ {2 nHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）: B4 b: |4 c  @4 j3 B  p  u
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
/ K7 C6 x3 m6 \- S4 bLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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4 h& v, O2 ?% w6 U, ~接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。9 G/ E. t! k. H% u
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
4 q2 L  ^+ \( }7 X6 j4 x4 HHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
$ v. t7 _2 k1 h2 NWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）) Z! c- p6 [, \  C# F
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）: {3 v- n0 b: O/ }; V( J
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?  j- g3 g7 g+ \' f+ L  e7 h' E
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）( f9 Y- q# X' O$ [/ E5 ^
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
2 q! U# Q* I4 ~/ y) A, b* I* K9 UWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
6 t' f. k7 i" [( [: `9 w8 }  uHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
5 h4 [) q$ q0 d9 N$ FWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
2 p7 W$ Z0 X3 B' h9 lMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）+ g* T- p) c' L% t1 Z
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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3 [4 y  e9 p: L- ~- T1 _+ {2 Z总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……