《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。6 V) D# V1 k9 n$ j
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。4 c$ P% j2 n6 o7 z/ {
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
* X) `! D) j/ C- zHolmes: I just picked it up.
0 _, \$ {: w% c+ }Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
* K) t- o3 o7 Z. ~1 x/ `, n! dHolmes: Knew I forgot something.9 ^1 K4 I) l" u0 Q; E6 h5 H
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）) A( |4 k9 N) y
Holmes: You did.
/ z$ G' B: [9 W' M/ F（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）" X/ z. L( s. [9 U; M* H* K1 J
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.1 J1 G1 o( @! K& m/ D8 e3 x
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
! E8 i) J" e% AWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
, n% v: [2 X+ oHolmes: Granted." K8 c6 Z; {) Q2 f
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
! y# h( H3 E% A8 G1 Z/ KWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）1 y% F9 T+ p0 v+ j" Y
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4 o0 C) m1 {( [3 S3 N6 q2 M# z拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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4 P- p/ D* D7 H; ]- g+ bWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
- E1 r! l: x5 O1 A) v4 m, ^$ U$ DWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）1 A: ^9 p4 W7 T( ?- K2 o
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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  ^3 m- `  X4 R+ oIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
9 n$ Y) n: a" N/ l: ~（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）7 X: L2 x8 |4 d6 q* K5 }
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?" p: ?6 J3 c" p) J/ _& \8 t, @8 [
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）% K5 O; Y9 P3 }- B/ a; Q
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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3 @8 w# p0 [2 k/ y0 OIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
7 L* L3 ?. ^; ~' eHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）; q6 l4 z# F. `) c6 I
Watson: Get that out of my face.
$ t  x& c& ]7 U( p1 zHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
- Y8 F5 ?9 U+ `# Y* xWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
" {8 A0 q5 t" e路人警官Clarky上场。* e6 z. V, \- f% w3 H
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.: g$ n7 i: }& s; Z# P
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
. p5 q- ], e5 q; i) |得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。/ W' K7 ]/ C+ F, D
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
( V, O, c3 v2 x; @- I$ I; L$ v9 kHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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  F' m- f7 ~" V" x, \4 D墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。( p6 a6 V- \9 B: q# C+ O) f
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
) }0 `1 f/ R. m  i- n. RHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
. h' ~% [( _& GWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
( n- u" x/ q) z" o7 JHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
& N: t& S9 g: Q7 c5 DBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
* e( f( {! Y4 PWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）1 f7 H. N" ^/ _' j8 y; J
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。8 y5 U4 ]) P$ z* _: o+ q
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
' B" [- \" C0 I- q后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
: a6 J! S8 e) [% K  m" P4 ~# fHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）# [% E  u, p: s+ a' T4 H
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。3 y( P; S) P8 i, ^  \
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.# D* X( @% G3 X- X6 @7 z) n8 T
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
2 ?: ~4 @) R+ T" Z% \话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。9 h+ k2 j& c0 ]# f; }
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
. W% R4 [( p! f  J8 zWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
3 c5 T* Q- R# _8 w& |1 EHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）% A' }8 N/ B, F7 Y* `2 o
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
9 e1 C$ }1 N& a; dWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）. R8 u! W/ g! o; d) H9 {" W
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
( N+ h' j/ l6 w" @Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）  [* {& P3 g# ^1 w* |
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
* Q" d" h3 M; q( r7 _. kWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
+ I; o0 j' A" p0 z2 C+ a4 cMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
! i  z6 i9 k. Y5 A& l" V- B（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）- f5 r' ?* Y& `: t5 B/ n& a/ q8 p3 `
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……