《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。8 X3 J1 X# ?, n4 @. A
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4 B  a6 ~) I7 W% n7 S影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
# o# o4 |! Q7 t! e5 N8 R5 O6 XWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
; D( E: y/ ?! \! m# M! pHolmes: I just picked it up.: H, h* l2 H! f
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
5 `9 S* Y- }( \& Q1 @Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
- g+ @4 I! _% g/ q9 tWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
1 h& h6 [. e$ I% L8 UHolmes: You did.
* e7 l- E" [" {3 ~; R- C（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
+ U* {1 q3 o, H, l5 QHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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8 d5 P) a; B2 d( ?% m1 W- \9 P宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。9 k7 [" ]& x! \; Y5 m
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
: z+ f" t. J, T; E. DHolmes: Granted.
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/ I3 {! O! ?  ~( F0 {8 C4 t晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
- O' X/ l8 R' Q  \4 ~Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）- x8 ]' s! g9 k' j1 L' S
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% F! l( S8 T8 q- Z% k: ?4 E拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。$ b& N; I- v4 M6 l3 {
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6 Y- |7 n3 F4 E; S1 d$ M" ~Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
1 D8 B9 T$ F; cWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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5 K& F- i0 q0 ]$ l' x2 oHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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7 g5 o' d% [( |# V) hBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。" g8 N1 B# o1 u5 |: E) o' P# N, p
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. u' S+ o/ j$ e( mIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。# P5 E& H  k# N" u* C
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
6 I: W3 _9 p1 kIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
+ C1 P6 N7 X+ b$ Z/ w6 \1 X3 PHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）# n7 c; m" r0 x* F% t. g$ r
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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1 ^% N: T. z9 O2 n: yIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
5 I$ R$ R! Q- [  Z3 BHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
( V2 p& Z" q1 IWatson: Get that out of my face.
) v- ?9 X' y5 `7 _$ s2 jHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.  E: m! h' ?5 m# {3 o0 F
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
! s5 Z# B1 x1 j  j2 b0 o路人警官Clarky上场。
, Y( N' a3 \& C" nClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.& Q9 R5 v/ m! C9 C
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
3 S3 T6 i- Q* W6 Y( l, h得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
. M3 ^5 v$ c1 M# UWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?8 }- X( M. s# i/ D3 a& T
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.7 G# I% o+ ~7 n+ _' T9 a
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。/ ~2 y% a: ]1 K6 e
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
7 i) u& g/ c# t) T! IHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
* O7 ^/ ?. t3 K. S  xWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。' g% ]/ [  P* i& w! W
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）* t) P2 n+ B/ C6 a6 R8 N
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
" w3 w2 V& s( c% \- Q& d0 w: oWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
2 P: O( T" v/ x5 Z0 p3 ~死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
  A$ [* Q0 {3 R9 IHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
' x' u" D, j3 g3 Y" C1 V后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
" h/ [) C9 t. R3 }2 v! fHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）4 H5 c0 q: u4 E5 |2 f$ j/ p4 O( w
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
) h6 O  H9 l+ ?Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
0 P5 I1 k. M+ ~- O) A话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
( ^1 D! J6 n# Q8 _( s  b+ |: OHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）" L$ d4 a; ^. L7 T/ T
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）6 ]( G1 x8 a: R7 C1 z/ K# W: ]  I! Q
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
7 Q, o) j" [) j8 ]Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
) n* k. Y* G4 W% i" eWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
8 Y3 I! [( m/ Q. ^7 }Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）* ~( P+ V% i/ @
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）5 v8 T$ I; E! k, s  u/ v
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
' h. @3 G) U0 I/ I( `5 ?2 HWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
/ z; h+ d4 H+ o/ n$ MMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
  f% f7 p2 E: x; X8 l8 N1 i. q（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）+ j  ~3 i: f; C9 G6 M! y
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……