《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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" S/ f$ z' h) n6 }0 C, j5 k& b影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。0 P% F" d" G3 `
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）) ~5 }' ]) U5 _. H! z
Holmes: I just picked it up.
/ l5 D% H. P: O% bWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
' n  S3 C5 L8 sHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
( O' W" W3 ]" [5 I! g& vWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
. q0 V8 x, N9 m) {! iHolmes: You did.
1 ]+ x: Z/ g9 k$ ?  L7 Y0 U（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
7 K. K1 F8 V' }4 k" H! I8 x: v5 bHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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4 F% k# a) O: i4 E宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。% x) F) {7 N5 B) q$ f+ ~1 [. p
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.$ w- {5 p5 x6 M+ |" q( q; y7 \- `
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
3 R3 U- @9 ]6 {: S6 Z! w3 K/ dWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。7 w' E) U) |4 k4 [7 V" O" q4 c& h
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; T/ b7 S$ M! KWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。* b6 G4 Q- i) S
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。' i$ N7 M- D, m3 _
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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1 U! ^! [/ S; C. h2 ^Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
+ a8 m& ~) b! m9 e（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）/ u2 p! ?9 S$ @0 F9 x
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
( ?4 D, D: u* V$ q( |Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
+ R/ Q2 y3 S# K  m5 W' LIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.5 E8 W/ |* c% }7 K1 v/ q
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% o5 O9 o( q4 O7 hIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
2 _% k* d" v& x) f  CHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）0 B9 J$ l+ _- i7 M1 [* C
Watson: Get that out of my face.. ?% p4 S: J3 s3 `" u/ V5 K. S
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
, n& j& j" P0 v- RWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.9 _0 @6 h# Q' X6 m( q1 S
路人警官Clarky上场。7 Y8 F* L) w7 G5 c, X* i
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
7 `" G& \; S) JHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）4 C: {" @% m: `- n* ~- O3 v
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。" ]& _$ k+ ~! q8 @
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?- Z5 w2 _6 i4 \$ X, C& i
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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; G, `8 G! r7 f. L- U墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
, S" w& B# w& o- Z; I* z% D（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
. e1 w' u  J2 e9 l4 i; U; v2 dHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely./ T7 y' J0 S! b
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
8 g9 ?, ~0 l5 H( i9 \$ ?Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
4 _0 F* U1 c8 E# U# oBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…$ B8 \* \, `0 c+ y
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）; [2 y# z7 Y+ G. x, m
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
8 J' [* ?3 E+ h# fHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
4 L7 m- \6 F, C9 {& Y后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
1 v5 e2 e3 B1 V; l- f* {& P% WHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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- m: z# u8 W' U警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。; H5 Q5 L, Q5 F. \! n
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。5 N& Z4 _, z& z# }) c" g
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。. z! L8 |6 `! o: O! q. m
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）' @9 R1 J" `4 a: c
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）* B! ^  n7 B$ R8 ?/ q
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）5 h0 ~9 E1 R4 ?. [1 ~6 T
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?- Z% x7 h3 a2 K
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
+ A! T. l5 K3 E/ XHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
5 C" M; R: X' AWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
: w  x  `* W( O5 zHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
* s5 \6 O5 ^0 V6 N8 d: E% ZWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
- ]1 i7 M3 w" D4 D6 H, b$ G4 vMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……