《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。/ @# h, y% L1 [& a2 k
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* e7 H* d4 @/ Q, k0 s影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
9 j1 Y$ y- J. D2 rWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
2 B% ]; Q+ T. tHolmes: I just picked it up.# B5 N0 G5 s; W, Y) Z' a
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
6 s% T9 q: x7 p" E, DHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
. a" t7 e' r  x: t6 yWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）6 j) X- H% [; b( ?: D' y; D
Holmes: You did.
" l+ `  \: b6 P: o5 o0 `' G8 r8 t（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）. z) m7 a# \  n) M% @; P- X. r
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.) }( U9 w( ]! t! z6 C9 C
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。* @  m, j" s4 a6 b2 T/ G3 M
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.4 y  A7 f' E" q4 u
Holmes: Granted.) t; J+ P( r; {% K0 u
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: k' ~0 k% c& d3 Q' k晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
/ Y# q& @" i9 YWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）& ^+ Q* i+ D, T& v
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) ?( J: H# L- H. V* h拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。% b# O# N7 x7 n
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- X9 Q2 E% ?# n3 B. L# n( C, x6 vWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。4 f3 X" [$ A6 n9 J* |1 W
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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3 @6 j7 Q4 r2 z2 E% g6 f% f0 pBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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% M  H1 p1 b/ V2 H! E: c# FIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
) e2 u! a* P  ?$ ?; s+ ^（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
) G' T) ]0 ?# G/ B0 CIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
) l5 X5 l6 M. x: |Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
* a% s5 w6 o/ eIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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8 r# G" G$ _2 W# P% U0 hIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。6 v- Y' o0 W7 l% c/ ~9 }7 e5 j6 H
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
$ O) J5 v; s7 M# Y# @( T( W+ [Watson: Get that out of my face.5 v* M: q) Y$ O& h
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
: D& B( y/ u9 d; `Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face./ _4 r0 r0 H0 M! z; ]
路人警官Clarky上场。3 m- B" m4 F/ a% C
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
, @, g8 ^3 H( g! n6 ?4 e& nHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
8 }! ?; X% g! N# d+ r) ~+ X得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
  C2 I6 i: x/ y' t, ~0 _Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
# B+ [# s0 _( zHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.. E/ G- N" F9 P, p
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6 A$ z7 V3 o0 y8 s3 I3 _墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。+ u* M; ]- l7 E8 C
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
  h2 B5 r- z5 h$ s4 G2 l0 @* X# K" T8 `Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
* x: M6 t: A. v' \* _. t/ tWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。3 X! r* T/ ^1 t5 P
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
9 S. Z# |+ l6 v, z7 S0 f) jBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…3 u+ v) Q$ Y+ O* s/ Y- E4 f9 Z8 V
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
9 E* E1 j6 _3 V) {死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
6 J$ _, E4 N  o$ I3 SHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）$ Y  d. P* c3 k6 B* S
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
$ \/ X* j& |2 y  S" ]Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）+ m0 r) r8 B) T4 i
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。4 E0 |8 {& T  R
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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$ F& @2 e0 d7 y8 N- Q! ^5 H. {接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。2 K1 r$ T! I1 K& a& [5 y$ M
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。/ i) H& W3 ~/ |
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）5 @, C6 ]) u6 J! t
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）" o9 t+ U& e1 D/ V
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）: H3 u/ W- _, \4 K- Z) i. [
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?& h( x  v8 E7 ]  R) B0 D2 [2 h
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
  b. t$ V4 f) p! S. h" ?2 q4 @Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）: \  L+ y: ?# D* u7 L
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）# Y8 `+ o( i$ O1 @1 {! H
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）3 C6 G/ m  [9 l. `: d
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
7 j" s. C/ j" P; r6 a+ F3 QMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
) Q/ m/ v: |% t. x6 _（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）  c$ I$ T, j0 P4 U, v, |% E
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4 V# q- v# _' X1 y- |$ U2 C总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……