《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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& E) }" x# x% H* `! E- w" v影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。- k% a( D7 ~% ^1 V" Y# P
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
/ o8 P4 r" |9 J9 ?4 Y7 XHolmes: I just picked it up./ a! E+ {$ h5 K3 Q4 r
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）3 N" L% \1 Z) M9 {, k
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
" g9 a* v0 k6 d& O7 _Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）6 \+ H4 N) B$ A- C9 D
Holmes: You did.
% [, A4 E6 J( k; X+ D（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）9 S( e  w9 p/ r& W: O7 ~% l
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.% a; G1 |- L% M; `2 q' j& S# A( O  a
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。) T) x: _0 n. _" O9 g
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
1 u* \: W% F7 D2 K" n2 cHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。8 v  C1 F& |1 g, |( ^8 e+ }- m* B6 f4 m
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）& e! q! F; Y8 [" n2 f7 V5 W# i5 t
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3 ^8 H/ W: O0 w, R0 p拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。3 @, B& _5 a3 u# K. }6 l( \
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/ G( J4 y$ f  \4 t9 f! \# {8 AWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。# K$ D! }2 K. Z7 h; q- L( }3 |
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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0 Q( ?1 N8 ^; R, t7 vHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。( z* q! ~; b( E; P- K$ k+ H: S
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
1 E/ K- z& E# e" y（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）; j$ e+ d6 d5 K+ N; C
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
2 y5 \! e4 h, {% QHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
/ b7 ]% H% i2 Z( H6 lIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。3 o1 C. s" T! T* S
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）9 H/ k8 ^! b# a8 x. @# |8 E
Watson: Get that out of my face.
  |) g7 S% X  t( iHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.; W& {, }8 @1 C2 ~" G' I
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.2 m! q2 v, g; {( W. ?& b
路人警官Clarky上场。* u2 r* S% u: n/ U- O2 |$ @
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
6 _' _5 x$ n+ f! |0 ^Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）' k' X8 P- P+ r- r
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。5 [' \1 }8 d& O" t2 v
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
# C: E) `3 V0 @* I* \  Z% G4 W& QHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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, ^- Z2 z' ]4 }# [2 ?* Q3 SHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
+ G. D# P5 Z- l+ r" iWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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, h7 I! k. y+ }: }: H河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
4 ?/ g; N# S! R. PHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
1 |" W; ?: c2 H) O' E! O4 @5 IBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
: N: M) x' F  \Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）9 a" }, v( z" J
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
% I  A4 S" v1 b8 X+ NHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）7 u( G2 b& ?& C! S0 R9 [5 @7 i/ Z
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。5 ]: S, _/ P' i3 }$ k
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）! t, J4 s* M& X2 ]& i
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) {. M2 D% h5 v9 `3 l警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。7 N3 y! k* B: p( U4 \
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.6 f, M2 z1 `  x
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. J7 q4 b, E/ t; C; {8 i$ x# y7 h接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。' L1 C9 `" M; D6 P* h3 j
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
" o" \* Y/ x+ ?) ^: b5 C0 Q- p; tHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
: z$ t, s0 e& T; iWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）( [5 j: Y; k) E/ c0 i" F
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
7 R" |2 I* v5 ?* r, qMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
" Z5 G- |. a8 U( g' ^& t/ H6 W, PWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
- n! w" T2 O& x5 E% r  t2 g& \Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
% B8 H# e8 j1 m% T# nWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
+ o( g$ e6 F  t' y% b# WHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
( I9 Z% f3 R) a$ [8 IWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
  Y7 s2 x: K' E: ~Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）" s" b/ z8 o$ j1 C1 w4 B# O
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）$ ~" i- A0 T9 N, g, S2 v: F
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$ p: s8 _, Q) j' \7 T0 H总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……