《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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3 E/ U0 T5 }% x+ p7 p影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。& b: M( t7 D  s' T3 V7 [1 R
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
$ x7 g0 X. w3 {, R/ }5 I4 @Holmes: I just picked it up.
9 H" y* U3 P3 H3 P; TWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
0 l' B$ L; G1 zHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
, p) Q8 l8 @+ yWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
, t1 _: K) U' }: [$ I& u1 ?! D. G8 ^Holmes: You did.' X( C. }1 V. w6 q8 |
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
* x! D4 b4 z0 A+ u7 R4 kHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.6 r+ c: o- W4 ?" W; }5 F5 m; ?+ T. c
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0 f' p9 m8 D, N4 c3 n: U& ~宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。% w5 {# B! f" {, _5 p. W( _3 _
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
1 V9 |' S& j! eHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
  X) @- L- O# b* F" d. p' \6 oWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）$ e( \3 K3 a. U5 ?
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- c/ p( |6 |8 R0 W" Q拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。. I2 Y" `* w! L$ ~- z7 [. }: V
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& ~& v) w7 z# v7 yWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
" i0 ^* {# }& d9 S8 [9 Z7 c& tWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）1 ]* k5 ^5 G: A+ s3 {7 }/ W& S' y
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1 n; ?1 P) f3 @- {5 O/ V" SHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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+ Q& t0 @( o- _0 TBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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6 v, R( A, H) g8 yIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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' j; w* W) {9 s, O( T% jIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
+ H9 I0 E2 W4 D9 ~" |: @Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
; X, |4 ?. d3 f  tIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.5 Y8 X9 U% Q# y! H
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' t& Z) e" o8 cIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。2 v1 d5 @# g' c
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）' t; s# d& ~- B. m4 P$ X( f( H( G
Watson: Get that out of my face.$ v4 P5 b. Y6 P
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
5 x" Y: i& C1 [) @Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.% B& a: L+ D* }5 ]' L
路人警官Clarky上场。
4 I( b5 ~+ O7 pClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.2 x# r3 o/ Q7 W# _& `& N  [
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
- o% d! _; D1 s  w/ B- ?2 s得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
" O, f. r+ |! l9 C' g0 e# k' TWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
" w  M6 t4 R3 L) `! D% xHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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0 l/ V" U% S/ P: i/ u墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
# ]' I: _% A& j( U, B) @（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
) V: V( U2 k& KHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely./ l- R1 Q  H. A; w2 T2 K" p" L
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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9 b9 ?, C& \8 ]/ L河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。7 M* h; o" |, P8 e
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）0 b" {- J) I* y3 i+ @; ~: w! |1 d
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
7 }' S+ b. `  fWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）4 g" T8 m2 g/ L5 s& k9 K
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
9 E) C" R) o% q  P* ?4 BHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
, n3 y1 n5 B* S% ~: B! G后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
# r/ B* D$ h- ^) VHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
6 G) ]. H' g2 E1 A$ ?( _Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。/ L) G2 {& D( w3 P7 b' D
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。/ P# B* @. [0 U7 ~0 t3 E$ M
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）$ S+ Y9 H5 Y! N5 K: m
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
( i" i3 h, `8 L8 l$ r3 GHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
' A9 a* V# n9 j/ S, OMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
( g$ b/ ^+ B4 Y: L8 I) f0 p* C4 jWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
4 F6 `  f+ D0 sHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）) G1 k. h# ~7 W! S( r) P
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）  ~3 P4 |1 t- y
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
4 W7 D1 F6 S& S% hWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
8 ^5 L4 u% z4 R4 m! kMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
8 `2 x; t3 x9 N4 r3 s0 p（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……