《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
8 O" b. {& E+ ~- F***********
5 P3 H  e* H) U1．
* W" \" j) Y( e2 A# K+ K. T影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。4 r0 ]4 l9 F3 V& S7 j. J$ d' l* D
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
0 g- X! n( W3 C5 k% JHolmes: I just picked it up.. C0 M) L9 Q+ D& s1 e5 f6 O
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
- t6 u) ?4 \5 e5 K% ~" rHolmes: Knew I forgot something.1 T/ M7 r. {. \! A7 P$ ]
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）- Q/ Y/ A& B5 K
Holmes: You did.; i3 e3 `( Q4 x( g' b
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
7 O! E% \% V" A% PHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
" Y4 S2 b3 z1 a! U8 Y2．  Y+ ]  R/ i7 V5 m
宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
3 Y9 o7 \! @/ {, e. c$ C" L9 hWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
" c5 g7 @/ I* u. n" Q% P8 h2 JHolmes: Granted.
! S/ [! Z* |, h  J6 r; Y3.' m0 \3 {; @0 X& Q1 P1 Y- n
晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
8 E: {2 r( Z0 E3 [Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
8 F% q: o* P. L% V: [0 p4．" D- n2 j& R( ]5 ?9 H1 s3 e7 k/ g
拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
# Q! m9 I! W- v3 r4 E/ L5．
! M- B3 Z: H4 Q2 f+ `$ h+ v# \" @Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。5 E5 [* @0 S* G9 G2 t& ^' U0 H
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）* y% K5 }, `  {- ]) [9 A( t0 h
6．2 b% M0 ?# H! e9 n7 Y1 u( Q- C
Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。- Q4 B5 Q; ]# T
7．
8 a- u/ T0 J8 ]. ?! wBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
& x+ x  y* I9 ~( n# L8．
5 N) J% y. C; j$ ]' B' s# |Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
9 X1 V# q; U* ]/ @（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）3 R/ h/ k6 D, Z/ D6 Z: D) K
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
" a" t" b" `' W6 w. hHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
  p2 X7 ~2 i1 D% D/ a7 w) i5 E4 EIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
$ E2 X1 |3 A4 i0 i# v9．% m( k& N0 r- \* D0 T
Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。) k; ]1 ~" ^8 ]: U6 J
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
+ z& z+ h% [& w5 Z9 m* a9 |Watson: Get that out of my face.' s7 z$ U3 V+ f8 m8 b
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.: \! C# y5 n* y& ~, M  A
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.) l0 E; Q! E* V/ `, y0 I! Q
路人警官Clarky上场。7 t+ }; j5 k8 ~/ ]  y6 x% k4 o
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.7 A/ E/ r# Q9 y" h4 f
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
" ~, Y+ u4 ~% n1 c9 m! ?* B' r得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
1 c6 h* T/ L1 D. Y& c. M5 vWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?# J% S3 K# ^, L" S* d. C
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
" v5 y  z% ^) b( x& p, A0 O10.
" d0 D) a$ T/ Y) a墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。+ P8 r; B: A3 R' b5 T
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）7 ~8 r' M. V% P9 Q1 N8 p6 X
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
' m6 ~/ k9 E8 G1 E3 n* fWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）7 Q7 Z8 s8 L0 x; S
11．
+ H$ @6 L: t; X3 n- j9 m河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
" y* l% F& |& wHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
6 x4 [( Y! c; c- sBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…2 T  b; }' b% ~: J" k. l: G
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）) x) a7 f1 b; a3 m: B! V
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。  C# A8 O& s/ W! e3 V7 q, M# Q# r+ a
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）1 U# H7 \- W) ?
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
# X% v  ~1 o- y' JHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
' ^1 }$ Y; U( y) F6 s12．
& N, v$ x9 K, h" _警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
7 N/ J2 r* z1 M- o8 PLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
, q, A! p9 x9 J& r9 A) {, d13.
! T2 \4 Z" f7 ~% ^4 I# O; A接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。- ]) {+ W3 b0 r) z" ?7 @
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。1 g- ]/ t! u& j! C' a& u8 n
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
5 d0 _' @9 g5 }9 f; F* L  yWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）* U' t% z. r0 V+ E( @; c# W
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
9 i3 S) Q  v* gMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
$ G8 l& t" R9 s# LWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）+ Y. ?, U, J0 p. j
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）; J" H/ u- X. @. o
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）2 w/ v5 N9 {# v; E0 d; J( z( d) C1 a
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）9 S, k" y- L. F/ D0 z% f3 ?
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）% p% C9 l4 }  F7 G, |
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）( A' L; q% i3 G' f# @/ f8 x
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
, n5 z6 q! W# O( b: ]; s4 T***********
7 l. d. {8 C, \0 x# P4 k总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……