《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。) b) S+ w0 ]# h
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8 S# j0 H# L# j# U' H& T影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
  j4 G0 m4 Q: k- V  `Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）7 j7 {& U0 H8 S. n, c& x; H
Holmes: I just picked it up.
& b' w+ B) z% U8 ?. T. {8 uWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
" [$ `# I% j- }: N2 e5 @; y* lHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
/ e0 _7 H# A+ [1 u2 xWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）' ~9 Y+ d+ X: K
Holmes: You did.
/ X. M5 O4 ]8 @2 L9 Y（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）; c3 D# g3 ^# S7 \: `/ I+ W
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
4 ^7 ?5 V6 z0 V  lWatson: Permission to enter the armory.) f) `; k6 H  Y
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
4 s) h. ?! z4 m$ u, }. ?) uWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）& x" J# ?; T5 r9 s
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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+ x& k* N4 l  SWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
& x1 {/ X0 E9 _, FWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）9 v- h6 Z2 `4 k( s4 T" s4 G
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/ C+ n2 [6 c3 gHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。2 k7 I0 h$ J3 M
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! ]* p  ]8 C  d$ cIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
" ~6 L/ B  A! ~+ d& h（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
3 \+ G7 A+ \2 g$ O8 f' [Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
) M0 N( q0 L2 YHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）& V% O& L/ X! T; A5 l; P  e
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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3 l5 C/ g1 u, |2 X) ?1 V. }Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
  W& ], |8 ?9 i, a- y8 q# ?, THolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
5 j# I8 L/ {8 Y0 B' a) tWatson: Get that out of my face.
! a* S5 Z4 C* T( q+ ^- x# IHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.* U, B* M2 U& q6 s3 j& W' \
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.9 k7 \9 n6 \3 P$ w
路人警官Clarky上场。
" u! `2 R0 z/ HClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.7 A' W: R) n; \6 b- G" O* q
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）; |" [* u5 e, `  p6 F0 A
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
& e( t$ M  H4 y8 T7 m5 u- d. }0 AWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
2 m; D5 y2 k$ r" x1 P) hHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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0 D& k2 z# H4 l墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
& ^: F+ N! l8 Q6 n% g（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）* u' v' X& w' K, m4 s7 c
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
& E7 s- _7 W7 T7 d5 `Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）/ D2 [. t) {/ [, L
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  J6 y. j, N7 p* C* l河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。8 }& X  t, c; k- J6 x
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
& o; `2 B6 \# v% d0 l2 ]Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
  p. _: C! A7 ~Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
% R/ t. T, I1 h) y4 [死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。4 ?* J- l1 r3 b7 Y/ E) j* Z( l
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）/ O  B6 j! {, \8 Q# w
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。1 [, A+ u! @( z+ t8 r; V& ?* v
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）+ i3 m3 H5 e+ P- y+ y: w$ J
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3 B3 ~: _. e; v' G' r警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。7 P) F  I; a$ Q5 \6 Y2 N1 z
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。6 q  p: J( i  [, h
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
: F- h: Q& r$ g2 ]Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）) M% ?& a) ~. N' d* `
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）2 }0 u8 i1 c+ l2 L
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
$ l8 _. y3 ?+ O- @# t8 e- V9 S  }Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?( }/ a5 I' {4 ^. l1 ^
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
: t+ g( Q- Z" N2 P, Z' E, VHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）8 `6 J6 v7 Y& f2 `& V3 K4 F- f. R
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
# X; p+ E$ M5 v+ {7 b4 k; ?Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
) u* w* w  }: @/ R+ QWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
& v! [9 R% k1 ~! X, s5 wMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）: S+ m+ P; p1 n% o( \
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）1 d1 j5 F% h% j- b- O2 i
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0 ]' q, A5 e! }% K7 d总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……