《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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5 ~5 v! @2 F. R7 i  o影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。7 S# `" U6 O$ L% ], y" v
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）, C+ i7 E; V7 Q$ a* ]' g
Holmes: I just picked it up.$ _2 s! N1 N1 I/ l2 F  G
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
- A; _; E: ]9 `- m) JHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
$ z0 y3 k- V; v( I3 h: BWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）7 c* A: Y0 p5 x/ R0 H. w. Z- w
Holmes: You did.) y9 h+ g2 T: U
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）! z0 G7 Z$ ]* ~0 q* E; y2 w( t
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.% n) N. w4 [* n
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。! v. s9 ~& s9 x- n, f, ]8 T& S2 |! l
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.  [  u5 k& S# ?9 Y1 j- ]" X, W
Holmes: Granted.! f6 Q+ I: F' `
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
& A) W" E- ?/ D6 q% b5 xWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）/ j( h% R( [1 t' c; \( Q7 g
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
2 H2 T* m- m7 P/ h1 @; jWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）3 u9 H2 m* O. S/ a
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$ u# Q/ {' B! Y' Q+ Q7 {Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。" Y  Y* @5 ?" q3 \( a
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。" k& c! }: z; M* Q9 ^
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+ z$ m- {# z  {/ N4 n! w3 ]Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。7 Y4 e- I' }4 S' X5 G4 g+ U
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）1 X7 c3 R( i5 |$ ]
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?$ v# N5 H. i/ f! K
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）: B$ I: }: X8 E0 h1 O' h
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.. b$ C6 H1 W% I+ r" p- A) ~
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  i( `" i( u' C, R+ l+ {Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
/ X1 S5 M. Y' t% y" g) Z" K" wHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
4 I" W1 ^: M& O+ F. H2 dWatson: Get that out of my face.% w  [0 c$ h- C, V, Q, W
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
: M) c' {% j) z# }" gWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.( K* ~. t; W# ^2 ]8 r. E& S
路人警官Clarky上场。+ j: A+ X3 V9 f" {4 e* X6 f
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.& R* @, K1 B$ a
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
  S$ V+ t0 `1 E2 i7 e; F5 }得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。$ E$ h9 u0 K5 [& ^. ]6 c
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
6 @0 }0 \; M; ^: c1 _$ NHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely." e6 e9 x7 K( s2 f0 |3 ]* t
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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' b% n# H% C4 R7 n$ R河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
* E0 z! ]2 X2 `1 @2 ?+ b7 j, qHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
; @; \6 G7 y' @5 ZBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…' a) H8 t2 @0 X' L$ @% F- O
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
2 m: M3 ]# I6 m5 }2 Y$ w$ j死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。. L5 |; u/ B6 |6 a- ]( C' Q8 ~  T
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）# E5 m  y1 W' d8 J; D5 i
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
8 s; x5 A* M/ [Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）/ N" c& R0 K- [
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4 P' p; K  s( D6 K# {. j0 O警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
7 B' I* B1 ^! @7 oLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.. [4 m$ p' e/ j, q9 x; C
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。9 L! f9 Z% f( R) r7 c
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。4 k" w/ c: w( A2 E4 ?, k
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
! {" p. a0 t7 y8 `) R# V9 ?$ bWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）5 v, h& i% R2 Y( {
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
! q! r4 x: a! K- g' B4 X5 V& T  VMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?4 z* y* w# Z# ]3 l" ]
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）% r$ q8 c& Y  k, f
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
" d- v( S: y6 f# e5 b, zWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
8 z. ^4 x$ z1 w0 `3 oHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
, M+ S1 r( f4 I+ B7 ]Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
. S% k) j; G, U* D- q" @2 Z1 e1 XMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
+ k. P, f8 a: |' ?" |& b（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）( X& O. b) F% P
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) E9 C  l# z1 L5 V7 X' ]% E总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……