《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。# F. b3 d6 ^; B1 B
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
; l6 q; r5 n2 g) g# OWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
$ R" l6 O7 F4 D) K' _& L! [Holmes: I just picked it up.
8 o3 K5 y1 E' s7 J! X. X* ?1 Q. uWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
7 W3 ?, o( [. {) B( AHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
: J& D) N* O' LWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
2 o. f) b8 T! L$ C1 V$ R+ Y, BHolmes: You did.  X+ [/ z! L! U
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）- x- ?3 Q2 |* q
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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% T% Y8 f- B% \8 Q7 j1 @宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。" k8 {/ [& q9 `- L4 H3 b6 r9 ^
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
9 p3 F: y* Y/ `: n6 n' wHolmes: Granted.9 r0 b8 M. I$ f! p
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% D7 b2 G7 o0 a' b* Q晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。/ M5 F* r2 E2 m- \0 S
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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# {- v4 S( l6 u5 {0 U7 b9 y- }拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。/ l- T) O( Z6 c# h# ]' T0 {
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# V& `0 R/ i! `Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。2 J+ j; M- \: G% z0 i6 R$ V6 N
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）2 g6 F' r' a" M
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& M: U9 y5 K0 @* J5 J1 }( MHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。% w# J4 A' S2 i1 H/ ^
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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5 J. W; v( w7 m: Y1 {2 L  yIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
1 S% E" _& @6 G" k( e* F（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
& W& \9 O! ]& P! H  `+ L! ^' CIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
1 F$ ?3 y! O/ ?; p0 SHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
2 u/ ]$ `- g9 T9 dIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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& G5 }) A& F( N; a7 Z9 O9 N# PIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
( v+ G- O' s- J+ `# THolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）) H6 K/ Y2 G" i' {
Watson: Get that out of my face.2 b6 d. L7 @6 g& `. k9 A$ {8 A& F
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
$ N+ Z! R+ T) m7 V$ uWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face." u0 [9 M& A) f2 m! }1 {  O. R1 M
路人警官Clarky上场。& O! M3 p3 E8 M( K/ c
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
0 J+ A2 e$ Y8 i% ?* `Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）' O) m2 x+ s; k3 M$ w
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
# B4 o' D- q& H+ l3 ?% X: N0 |/ g2 x; wWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
' W3 X9 x9 Q3 @* G& |Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.: o5 u+ P' P( w+ j4 u
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。2 A( G' A+ F, D6 ^* Z
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）9 J. o2 U6 K( {+ R' B8 X- ]% L
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.7 C0 u  b/ l$ y$ Y3 a- ^7 R' v
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。% ?: U4 `; X5 o: u! Y% w
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）- V; d+ W9 \9 z) n2 Q
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…7 Z8 G8 Q, ^8 O
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
  e6 z/ d8 L8 W0 ~5 x( t死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
3 v% _6 z( y2 t/ A9 Q7 yHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
# S* A' W7 {2 |) k( ]* T/ \后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
$ ?; }7 d6 J' D0 s7 a$ c1 o8 U' fHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。0 i+ x& a/ @& x) L
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.2 u4 c+ D3 k. z; a: H" c3 J
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。, i8 I4 C1 r- c0 k$ H' W3 S
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。) K  w' Y) p* I: ^6 c5 @% E( J* h
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）$ ?; t& H7 w, t) Z: e' ]1 L
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
) D5 S8 u1 ~2 R7 U6 \8 p- rHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
/ [3 D$ h# v, @. s9 }8 J# VMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
, |" z+ o& L+ dWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）" o0 j: A/ `4 W' D: M. F: T' }/ k& w2 ^
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
! I5 D5 a0 V5 LWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
" X- O5 a8 d: i, l4 m( Z1 }. P# RHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）* F5 [* s  |7 i5 p! y. M
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
: t8 i4 }! A% [; T" d- V' uMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
$ o) N! z! Z( x, `5 T0 n; t! p（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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+ d- S; |0 ^$ k5 f  V' C! Y3 v, A总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……