 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 . o1 n5 L& v- B) h+ G; a
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) * e9 ~( x9 V9 `9 N$ N
Holmes: I just picked it up.
( a- j. _+ f/ z6 l, bWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
' z D" E% Z. |0 D- GHolmes: Knew I forgot something.9 ^/ U9 L* O6 A# V$ G
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
6 S' G. @) }/ A4 |% W* p0 tHolmes: You did.
2 b* S! ?) I& K4 v5 O(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) * o' P3 x. z5 A- p3 `4 [8 b3 K6 [0 v
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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0 i* R4 y3 U. s2 Y& z1 [宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 # U3 Q E% A4 p4 w
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
# i( k2 X! p3 J- M7 cHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 4 E7 ^ e! Y6 ~3 h7 G, A o
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 6 R" M0 g* j, P7 n- `; C+ n" P
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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7 N+ E4 p7 @0 ]- B( g. TWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 1 T' n( M3 z8 _* {, A2 U" r3 h+ K2 k
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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# G. G0 H& |5 _9 \ E! v/ UHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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% c5 ]4 R% O' k S. y0 K/ K) |Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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" f& ^4 D5 a v2 T) X4 f. w/ RIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
0 L: X4 A: x* o X) t( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 6 D% X2 l( a% _) [3 a# a
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?# J1 s) H% ^% E, h6 g
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) & r2 h3 z- P1 D1 r1 D2 c) \
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
; k$ X. I, x8 [( F& CHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
+ K4 P5 t' \4 U9 j+ XWatson: Get that out of my face.+ I$ v9 }' Z* A( y H" f8 y
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
5 @8 g$ R3 q) g4 Z* aWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
5 ~8 t3 p8 O7 J路人警官 Clarky上场。
# u' e4 x/ R( ^Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.5 ?. G: A/ n: @0 |
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
e8 y; q- F$ |5 C* D Q; T得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
+ a& _' M. \. rWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?* Q$ O' T# l4 @7 F/ n7 @( N
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.' X' I* Y" |7 Q$ W8 Y' S6 `& |% A
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 ' I1 `6 R5 d( k$ b/ _! o. }! D
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) k0 A$ p& C9 J; G9 ^+ O# M$ m& u
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
0 K- A. l8 e* c9 i: U1 V, Y+ VWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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* M1 N8 X! ^. E# g/ {河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 * r8 h" z. ^& F X2 _7 t" q
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
+ N! l; L* a& W7 R+ }% d0 ~8 gBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
# |+ u8 t8 W0 A' P+ UWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 7 N4 Q2 R' }8 t, G$ O8 |1 v
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
: _: H7 R, |6 b# P8 x* K8 E8 {Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
8 @6 m6 u4 A; k2 ]# ]后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
/ f' u3 n( H8 H& `3 c+ i @0 KHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 1 V8 d+ G8 q6 Y3 `
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; h0 u1 M$ E& e8 V3 {警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 , o0 Z1 w [8 }
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 % F% R1 g m* _
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 0 {+ O) z+ s2 h. Q$ M% h6 c
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 1 N! F& s, I+ ]1 {* M
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 3 M+ C3 Y" z- W0 q% [
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) , M& U: M1 L0 W0 E2 }( \# E
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?3 I. \4 @! t2 E+ @; Y4 T
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
/ S4 m {4 K8 D9 C# vHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) % t' t: V3 t2 u! [+ G
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
( U! e% \4 C5 `Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
% I6 _3 R% [9 U$ W5 O& g& pWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
4 ?& W6 {7 H0 a. ^6 B0 Q* u5 UMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) 4 ^! |5 s& p' s% J) y; K/ h
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) - p8 M& B; s B; j0 s; ]
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* C3 U0 E6 T1 }8 Z! o9 e* v; N总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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