《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
1 v( g4 Q! y) `: D, T% x# F***********
5 C3 v/ Z: l6 ^  n7 Q* K4 X* d1．9 j1 O% m5 y0 J# A' |9 U
影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。+ ]: q/ W  A9 U) P5 J$ ]
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）) z: Z  {% o2 a; p% n4 O
Holmes: I just picked it up.
) v. a7 D: H' v# d: XWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
# b4 b6 m" V$ b5 C0 p9 ~Holmes: Knew I forgot something.! U1 @4 p2 q; ^4 K
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
) ~* l; D4 m" wHolmes: You did.
5 o: w( N# u: }4 k) e（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
9 z  {% N* z, F. R% o" }# EHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
5 `/ [. S& a1 a2 B$ @0 J6 f; ?7 X; D2．
6 F* f. U$ I# p; q5 \宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。4 m7 f9 V: ~+ E+ i
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.: L' v; f/ s6 r
Holmes: Granted.4 h9 y" s; J# C  L: t( n
3.  ~  V* P0 p' x( O4 \+ [% e
晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
; |0 X( W4 \  lWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
, }5 ^5 G4 A2 D3 L0 B" W) J3 D4．
0 X% `7 ~! X/ z1 r/ C# U拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
  r+ h2 f1 \0 |5 b5．3 S( E( V, L; f4 n6 Q
Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。& ~  Q1 @& d9 _  M. W' W
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
0 r8 x* v. l* i5 J0 p6．
' U8 N$ f! w# D: {, W7 ]% U" lHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
9 Z/ h) c2 A" t, n$ S7．4 L, ^$ z5 k( W$ r2 f
Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
, m9 Z9 s6 T5 n2 D8．% p5 d, b& U( W. c
Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。, I, c3 p9 l: S; h! L8 F# ?7 P
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
/ b% f+ [7 I, o! W8 z( N* ]: S7 PIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?: _9 P/ f( h5 ~3 E
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
  A" W5 j8 ]; q# T+ q2 VIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.. R# o! y$ [9 ?( @) p
9．
  I- L! t$ f# X& Q, B( dIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。9 ?* D* R9 k" ^9 x
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
! Z, U8 e+ _( g' o" B$ yWatson: Get that out of my face.
. z- N' z$ [* G; O$ u! A. F! kHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
  @  q! r' x( g# h; t' C0 uWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.' e  F7 x4 n/ I. \7 k* y& w0 b5 I/ ~
路人警官Clarky上场。. K5 a8 Q4 c, ?# B
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.! G4 l9 z  E2 ~  c
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
6 \& Q* t3 u5 V  s0 N7 x得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。# o* X, n( p9 G9 U3 w( @; J, n
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
  o) V, K& D0 P+ BHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
" q6 z3 T+ o6 l10.# e( E: |7 y* l5 {3 S- t
墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。0 _" @: R+ u* h+ l" m# t
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
8 y& ^9 }% F1 }7 i" Q3 I; NHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.) e+ a3 i2 I4 {! @  D% C* X
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）: Z- h1 N4 ^  q! c) S5 }
11．: K2 H7 W7 r9 ]$ I4 E6 p( r
河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。0 ]% k  [4 h9 v: c1 P# C
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
( ?3 X8 d3 S( z, L) Z6 SBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…# {( ]  v6 Q8 S/ E  q
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
% e; [# j# I# v+ R) o0 o死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
- l8 L4 S1 Q1 C" h; l" |Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
1 y, {( [6 v) {- `) a$ W后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。' Y4 |7 L3 k) C8 P( D. h
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）2 c+ s8 K4 U) z7 T, R. f
12．6 Q- m: i% X( V  @; L. B
警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。1 J# W: ?2 i) l$ Y. v9 x
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing." C- j# e9 [2 M9 k( y/ J: X
13.
# R3 d; y6 \  I0 o2 X7 y- P+ \% x接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
! Y1 J$ c- E4 U0 q1 A话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
' Y0 ~3 E1 ]1 gHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）+ I3 P* S1 N1 {
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）7 b; n. c8 q0 M
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
# F, h2 E8 b1 a0 T, S! NMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?" L! q# Q  \+ L. h) ]! g# @# y. J2 }
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）/ }; E5 S2 [! n& d% K& K
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
- C8 J, H$ x) |4 v  i; d  ^8 hWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）2 P- r9 K$ ]7 s: z1 S! Q9 U9 g
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）0 I( F! E$ D: ~1 I
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
* Z! [6 X5 g  f. V6 @7 y) YMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）) C! n. t. ?( R& M  _6 K
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
7 E8 H' b* [! n3 s# d0 a9 _  H***********
0 H5 E; A5 N( Z: j" u; Z- A总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……