《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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" e$ ]* f' x& S" E5 `2 x影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。/ s" ~, h6 h' I4 q' b  |& u
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
2 |/ [! p5 c' M4 t) L% N8 yHolmes: I just picked it up.
" L7 c, G* l1 |Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）5 I$ y9 E1 x5 m* W, p6 F
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
& b+ M/ j$ {! y9 e# K, i  M) aWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）+ K% O1 _- {& ~3 o) H; B
Holmes: You did.7 l, F0 l3 B# p; v0 N* k9 [
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）+ ~6 b8 G/ ]9 y4 N$ n
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。, v# ^( s; ]: n, A/ H7 y
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
; f1 d/ e- y5 T$ ]# F. z$ I% UHolmes: Granted.$ K8 H( r! }! q* f/ ]: s$ d
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$ w3 u" D" ^, d# C' }晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
5 f% d. a( D5 }" sWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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2 \$ s$ k1 Y5 @! U3 W6 e# lWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
8 ^( W( v* p+ U/ `6 f: p7 rWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）( H, V6 l: u' x" Y8 n0 `
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6 S3 ?$ f: R& n5 ZHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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% O/ ?9 e4 p, z$ kBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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7 Z3 L3 v! B  U( B2 P8 G6 XIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。% U, w0 F, O( M/ C& l
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
; u: p4 M) L- ?" g, NIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?- x' s  w2 M' v
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）; B' }( b: u# [1 W& a  B
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
, v( ?) X+ ]7 g* V, YHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）. `9 r7 J) @# h+ ?0 S* P6 f% K+ a
Watson: Get that out of my face.1 {( D' v: K# M; K
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
$ P$ X5 O! N" F. [, NWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
% V$ U) u( z& w4 G0 e: u路人警官Clarky上场。8 X) _9 x& w$ d" b/ h5 {# |( a
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once./ e- A# ?* A8 F) H8 T
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
# \: F6 X8 M9 p& \* F- R# a1 h得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
) C' o, q  j2 d% R: Q8 R2 d% _7 }Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
5 I/ d! V; B- OHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。  W* s' D' V/ X+ v% V/ t
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
$ \" @2 ?) U/ \3 w$ n' xHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
* t9 \% z5 ~) N5 u$ m0 H( X' i' }Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）3 M3 \. k/ Z3 \0 j
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+ g7 T* A/ h9 M0 Y河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
1 p" \  p3 s- @3 t- u" IHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）; I1 u* G: Z' q2 e0 T
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…0 e: i) x9 ^9 @' q& N
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
; c0 |( `$ v3 d$ e: X死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
. o" S! f( e% W. J4 S; vHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
9 ?6 |- Y* Q4 x, ^3 i后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。9 c5 r0 T& d# {. k/ s) ?* N4 y/ A
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）! e5 L: _) X" _+ S( `6 K8 |) C
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。* U8 ?. H2 a' S. s# o+ z
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.: G6 B3 D  e9 E3 M; P5 A/ v: P$ P
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。$ p; K: q4 p7 Z, t
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
- {  |, @+ O, H' o6 RHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）/ p7 o& w$ ^3 Z) F. }
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
, ?% j* E" k# h) K) yHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）$ X( J0 ?" I8 `( n( l+ H
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?5 U, ?" x+ P- {- M
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）: |, S3 x2 V. B$ _# c9 |; W
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）- K+ @% D) b' s$ E# R5 P: H
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
# z& }1 \9 G$ pHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）2 q; e! i# h3 A- \) }0 `/ D
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
6 w+ p. U2 v5 X5 \  ?) b6 EMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
. m% t+ q0 u, R( m2 T（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）& T; o7 q1 I! x2 t  H
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……