《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。& ^) u( [& h" L" v7 D
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
" H; E/ \: U9 `9 [Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）; }. `" Q% e6 \. q2 J5 |
Holmes: I just picked it up.
- h8 F- S, T0 f0 d, AWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
  M4 T2 Z; |6 A1 W! MHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
- C9 F' i% s2 G& w0 VWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
6 N/ e2 U% Y. u% |6 w& _1 CHolmes: You did.
+ h, k5 k1 n1 q9 J  ^（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）9 W1 G# `* l$ o# W. N
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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/ Y* R6 i8 _) a1 c宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。$ C; G6 w- q) z2 i/ ^
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
+ ]& _8 i: x" j0 l7 w$ ]0 R% K' @  }Holmes: Granted.1 r! n' B( ?  _: A$ g
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。5 P  M7 s+ p7 p) A5 W2 U: ]( W
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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/ r: R) s% X1 X拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。0 h: O3 |- z( @, |
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* p) S8 G8 O  F9 K- G! Y+ m9 R* _6 n1 d7 \Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
; I8 P$ s/ L1 a; N- EWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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4 u6 a+ L( f8 g$ {# OHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。7 w( c2 Z; Y; k  T2 S% l$ ]
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
0 x9 _5 J' H3 \# b( n: D- X- P/ j! A（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）. z" q' m* @2 m1 ?6 n$ j4 ?
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?+ w7 x1 L' l) Y1 H; w. ]
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）+ n0 V8 r: ^( q/ I. C
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.' N% m7 Z# k) ]
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。4 G# `/ Q- X1 x* h# C8 z6 W/ t
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
% H0 V4 x7 X  z( o- ?9 [! R" H' rWatson: Get that out of my face.2 o- s7 z' h/ Y4 M( _  g- c/ b- {
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
6 j0 \7 R! Q  h0 F/ e- Q- w0 \( FWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.' d* z& J4 C* X( s& b9 ]' m
路人警官Clarky上场。6 q  E5 d. Z* w
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.; x8 e9 c: k# O1 y# s$ S! o
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）" {. t+ d8 g, l" E  ^! a. r
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。  Q. U2 U% y' Y- x% e9 s1 H
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?! b7 b% u) I& t, P- ?! M5 ?
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.0 E+ w; ^9 f9 k/ B7 o! {6 b
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。9 W# J  R* Q1 T2 S" o+ l
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
% e4 ~- h. C7 J3 A- L  gHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.9 U/ U5 l. ^6 R4 r- ^* n7 h3 j
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
( a( R" O( W7 S3 oHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）( d$ ~% `2 F$ j7 L5 V3 j
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
* p# q& G" f* ^' @Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）# e7 R; M; z; e* S" s& U
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。* O( t1 _4 b3 ?. l* v3 e: a
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
1 R6 }) o& j3 C后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
/ P* n5 G+ r' C8 e7 d0 g4 VHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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) u0 Z: y+ V$ t' W, F, G: V警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
3 g9 t2 p1 M9 D0 f+ ^Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing." r0 C3 R5 |- H( N/ L# `: v
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
- {$ N: r# K; m' B* Y) z话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
5 w  z) X7 L7 J, ]Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）" q* I+ v7 B2 b1 E) P2 M  E; ^
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）# |- U7 C9 ^9 L2 I0 ^5 E
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
9 C# R! {8 ^8 w. _0 ~( {Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
3 O# i( K( Y8 J, n3 x3 y5 TWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）6 m0 i8 c; t1 d
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
1 G1 w6 f0 n6 m+ E( ^Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）$ i* E7 b# y! ^& c. ]# e- W
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）7 }" f. n# w+ s6 q1 c& k7 s" U
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
; G! K. Z& p6 |% H1 |" |: WMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）5 R# E. @& g9 M( s: w
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……