《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。- j7 D* Q* c% A* ~
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8 k; C  t4 W  F: f4 e7 U+ x* ?影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。$ i! i/ f5 i/ B; g
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）( P( H6 \! z, q$ [
Holmes: I just picked it up.) P- k9 b2 c: v- f
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）  S* c. F# o4 G& d  v" \, k
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.! c  {! j# C& }/ S" F4 L0 D$ K
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
% l1 t/ b: J8 V* {( n- X6 o) eHolmes: You did.4 n4 S. l9 e: @  Z6 x# O' r. k
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
7 l& n6 G7 f. `: J" N. h0 c. L6 pHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all./ u! Z& F" [! ?' H# M7 g
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; n1 c% B9 k& I宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。) i' a  y  r" d/ R, g8 x2 e0 M
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.; E$ [- }1 N0 j; z% ^" T: d
Holmes: Granted.
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0 o* E, ~& r$ Y0 e2 }1 o晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。& Q- i* F" H. {9 \
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。4 Z' W6 X; P/ F8 z6 W0 O0 L, m
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5 ^& k( i# t1 i8 {3 \Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。5 L. r! h) u/ [' n; N( c
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。- D. ^' F! W* U6 n0 k" X% w0 v
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) [  \7 p% N+ H- W( M+ n/ P4 N+ Q1 aBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。5 U* |6 m4 v, U  |3 D
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）8 `# ~1 x% T% ]& N' r& x' @, Y
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
6 A2 t# s3 i/ u! `$ C2 h, yHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）, C, s# x: P3 [% L
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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. s8 f2 v5 S. R# O6 V, t! S: G' _0 o( fIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。1 ^+ \4 x! f: P6 I7 W( F; v
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
4 U' b+ t  }& Z/ HWatson: Get that out of my face.' `1 l6 P  p2 [2 @3 x
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.  `) y- K5 a  B3 r) i- |% K9 z
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.! c% D4 y; b2 s. d5 j
路人警官Clarky上场。5 E* `. h8 p4 n7 Y3 p7 }
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
# t- q/ |9 [7 K: O/ ^) B/ GHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）# t& C7 i) x% f2 h- A
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
+ n& ?' ^' X1 g: I! K( M8 }, W) \Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?6 F4 X& k$ _) t
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.5 U( y1 [5 Y5 g$ h
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
  {! [1 Q  a  m" Z( N8 E  w（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）+ x; Q+ v# c1 C$ r, F$ v
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely./ Q3 y. T% N0 O: P
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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: z& \! l* Z* @$ V% j河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
% ~2 K+ K+ u5 M, m2 Z% {$ p0 _Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）9 J/ x* H2 {9 h" A- G) o! q0 [
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
& [6 ]) m, s- ^0 A- _9 @Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
! E( G' e# t! o死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
; M+ M. C7 X" C4 ]! m# W1 Z. f; iHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）5 O; n+ C3 L$ {9 D5 [
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
3 I$ Q) `& Z) ?, ZHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
7 V, E0 A5 A; ZLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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+ A! O2 b2 z! N! O+ \接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
" U. W" }; L& `' b9 B话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。0 y' r" a' Z  ~2 p# X
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
3 @' N! L2 v, m" w6 j  qWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
, ~- G+ L' _4 Q2 T( ]8 F# [  ]5 zHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
  c* A+ q  A( Q4 a4 P* jMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
% J3 y/ F8 B' E9 _7 e- o* kWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）* X) x& i% o4 z0 V
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
; S( Y1 g6 X7 I* q: I) _  {* K: BWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
" A! ^$ J9 |1 q" ~Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
) ~: s* {! W8 G3 w4 XWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
* j' d+ Q1 E# G) ]1 v# }Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）8 X; C$ r. n: x( V9 X3 V
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……