《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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: V6 ^6 K! @0 X影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。1 G6 a6 M3 T4 s% }# N
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）6 D4 N0 W5 r" F' r/ F  Q0 B' D
Holmes: I just picked it up.
% _* b. e0 b& v. I: V4 r$ IWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）; O1 y# b7 u6 G' O* i1 g0 U2 B0 h. g$ m
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.  w/ L( d" P/ _) B* K( q
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）+ i5 x/ v2 q* C9 L/ a6 Q
Holmes: You did.
  h. Y2 T0 M/ |（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
3 c$ F% M. k2 r& [: L! JHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.$ \% o* v% s& t! b
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
2 E! a0 r4 p! P+ Y, h$ YWatson: Permission to enter the armory.2 v  T* S- i8 W) ~# l; K, J
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。, ?5 G, ?. U1 j9 e0 T- r/ L
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）$ e) E% ?5 f: U7 B1 g
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. c9 |2 A! D6 v7 `8 P5 ~拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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. g9 v; W' G5 N- X/ q7 \Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
+ X+ G0 V0 q& i- _( S" b  @Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）8 W2 \/ M, P8 o2 u6 b
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。/ E" h: K* c' _+ M7 o6 p2 C4 S8 ?
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。5 `% ^9 g% E0 F6 ~
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
9 x3 w  m2 ^! J! B" TIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
1 ^& ^3 W9 O; M  C3 \  ZHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）* z8 R2 L4 R) G) h4 F0 V3 W
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.* N3 h7 \$ v% u
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/ d0 i; `* N) U% _( [5 V6 d) aIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。8 k% }( {8 r( R; x- c- \
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）9 v( c( l1 q1 [3 `( D
Watson: Get that out of my face.0 r1 [% M3 w& J4 a7 V
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.$ l+ u! Y5 S( a2 \! ^6 _5 H
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face., d- ~1 Q/ \0 I3 c9 Z: A0 v/ D
路人警官Clarky上场。- M* l* o7 _# z+ @$ o6 M
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
' J; r6 j% V. bHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
' i9 g& u( A/ n得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
- G/ X  B# r1 h: w* qWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
( h2 u1 q) _; UHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。6 @7 O' I, U$ ?# v! o
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）3 F) U4 S3 M5 T  [
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.1 W6 x; c# i1 I& t
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）7 @1 P4 Z' H$ `2 k3 i, K1 \" N' p
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: u' F9 z; g  t1 W1 K( G河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。5 ^6 i+ n0 z0 e! C! ^/ D
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
! V3 f; X6 Z" h* D/ `Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…9 ^+ t, E$ t* g9 ~) u9 R& C
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
- v- X$ e( u3 ?4 h; b- ^死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
! d8 o6 X( r9 B3 CHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）) _- L- h( x  h
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
1 ?( V' \7 r0 m8 f# `, @/ z- {Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）1 a- z% F3 f/ e3 b/ I* h
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
% K& v4 Q% J9 ZLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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. s$ C1 z# ]4 u. ?% e9 G+ R2 H$ X接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
; k' Z0 n1 J' E9 @2 f话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
  ]6 y# f$ B( c) w2 ~$ J0 \Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）- o; e4 m& w5 e9 T6 A
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）) w0 h  K+ T! J$ `- N9 o+ T  s
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）* `! i% t& p% ?$ ^' S8 r
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
' i0 _6 W9 z1 \' R" X* GWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
4 k! b1 M% ]* ?4 L' EHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）4 \1 w- F1 K" l& ]' g$ Q2 R
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）* ~0 @: a8 K- o# x- I& v
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）& Z/ F: ^& ?1 ~/ G: F
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）1 I& Z4 Q+ U* c# j. R1 }
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
: V: y% B8 `* a& ]（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……