《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。; P  Y7 O0 D- @( W( n
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
! F0 X+ b" A6 c4 p# a  yWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）/ l* a1 n+ e7 Z; L; d# O5 }
Holmes: I just picked it up.
6 f) C, V" p+ t& cWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）( r) f. ?6 j/ D% X) n3 e* f
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.$ b- @7 b6 P+ B$ [
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）0 u. b) Q% p  u
Holmes: You did.
, t' y5 i! @6 i' z) x% K（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
" T4 r$ @4 P% E7 c" F- h5 a3 OHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。; Z- e2 ?* E% H! i, T
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.3 T- \% A* B8 f- T0 n
Holmes: Granted.1 c9 Y- n9 u! P$ B. c% ~
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。+ Q6 Z. {& w+ }6 W; ~' H
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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5 n# c9 O0 x5 E1 B# r, U  o% F/ V, e! E5 `拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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; \, x4 y# N, B7 Z6 F" _& y/ i6 nWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
2 F8 K& F2 W1 {/ X, P, ]Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）# O8 Z) W3 P# W& K% S, p
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4 N: g3 ]. D$ k9 l6 G* w  t  {4 eHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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: b$ ]) M: m! X5 m) t! CBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
% ?- B& ^+ b# {2 {" u" M（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）9 `7 c% s. r) O6 {& L
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?) p/ }+ N4 w5 \" H5 k
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）4 T/ I  S; j% p/ p3 K$ a0 W/ d8 [! W
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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" S. _5 Y6 D8 T- R( ~Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。4 B$ T, q" }; l/ g
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）$ i+ c9 q( c& W' q, `
Watson: Get that out of my face.1 |8 |. P- m* N0 ^% f+ s. Y2 R" d
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.% @+ U) c% t; G: q
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
1 ?0 g8 F9 u! G8 C路人警官Clarky上场。" c5 h6 Y. [! a% l, H4 ~
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.! J6 V" d! I* @4 i# C2 L! U: h4 V
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
5 W5 o' `8 \& g) }3 d. M! U- _& Z得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
* F) _; `5 E8 K; c: G6 {Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?: y( V! t, D. {- [8 C' Z, ?
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.+ }- m4 O+ _; d
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3 ~  Q8 N% g5 A8 N3 {墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。# a2 m$ H% n) b7 g; P
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
# S- d3 J$ u( AHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
9 ~& q6 w0 B3 z& vWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
0 f- u/ g# W4 A6 qHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
0 q! B5 M& o( \. d7 o+ WBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…6 y5 k' V7 X4 Z4 |9 C. Y$ F* w
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）" ~+ A: V  E3 ]* a, d( \$ l  m3 [( y
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
; c8 t5 n; |4 @1 L# K6 SHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）4 B: F* G% S6 d! Z; `4 S
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。. {+ V; _, W$ D% x. H. S
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）5 I; x$ J2 \: Z9 ^; U, T! r& c6 P
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。- t7 F, i2 ]! \
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
8 m: y  i6 ~$ g+ X+ ?* {- g话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
0 Z& M# G: t8 O0 R  T0 MHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）' w' M( [: y6 M" [) `
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
7 |# Q% o! b+ Z% EHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）4 N. [; K" I6 C; z  T2 F1 B: s
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?5 F2 G, N( d# s% A
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
% ~7 ], k8 B- O9 r; JHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
! k4 j- C3 B  a$ Z3 w& P! E2 M5 oWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）; V5 ~5 w6 i; e- d
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
1 ?: I7 U8 `! z5 p$ C$ qWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）  V% ?# v) T: w, s- f* G$ Q' S
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
4 y: z) q! Z/ c; R7 E+ Q) K6 ~（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）% D: w, J) ~4 M) {- {
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0 C' f& g$ t( Y& {总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……