《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。0 g& w# M9 T$ N( z" P. g2 v# \& I
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( n' _8 |: g/ E6 m影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。, C% H# n- Q; f/ s- O
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）. R( T+ }- b6 L  v. R% z: S' p9 N0 k
Holmes: I just picked it up.
( p& @, g1 n6 _" ]( |5 HWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）; S: p. r# b8 J5 a+ h
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.7 j$ M7 A) [: h( n) i. r0 y
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）) o" ?' e6 X1 B. Q* g! Z
Holmes: You did.
' |! I: K% C* K0 l7 l, y* M  a; R（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）9 W0 A  H' ]6 W6 I5 |- i
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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9 ^7 M' V9 r; u4 j宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
. w0 I6 ~4 [1 ?) g- [+ [9 QWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
2 k' p$ c$ L' b) mHolmes: Granted.
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5 |1 b( F9 R; w4 _晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
& w. @) E3 e, T) w, ]Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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* a6 u3 K  p. V( I拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
$ {5 \% X' x) p( ^' fWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。1 z( {1 L/ W4 ^' p# Q
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. e+ q! J9 n8 KBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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- M" M  y$ N1 U/ `0 tIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。; @" Y( e7 u1 N' y+ D0 N( S* H
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
+ x+ q0 s# e3 E) K$ LIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
0 B0 `& N0 S: e2 F2 ?Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）* S: |$ ?: D. p* Y3 }
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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1 w/ {) f6 ^  Q8 l! F- t: QIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
2 X4 h- T6 h* r& a) n, }Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）+ I# W* I9 \7 x9 c6 w+ v% L
Watson: Get that out of my face.( ]% ~6 q, l) r, s/ a* w+ Q
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
1 l0 L) n! \  w2 {Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.8 {6 L4 R! A4 j5 j
路人警官Clarky上场。% v2 R' c8 h" L
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
2 {6 V# o& x0 s4 DHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）% _! R! @; J: V/ b) ]: e
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
1 m  ~5 F1 C/ |$ B) {5 ?; B  AWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?$ u" ~- p9 `& _" o9 E* ~
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.) n/ D# Z+ ^: x/ }, f
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.5 S8 b* h) N# B* Z& w8 t2 U
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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$ Y' }( T; g5 g$ C# l  v河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
3 K( E) J5 i5 PHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
1 D0 Y' M8 X6 y% D9 l' ]Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
9 C* _$ r. y. }  ]; FWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
0 ?0 D9 D+ _" F. F/ @8 Y6 K死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
7 g5 ~. n& e' x$ k2 LHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）+ H& n# L, M# C/ c; F
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。% ]! @" ^6 g; {; W
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）  ^/ n* J; V" l. O8 }/ ^
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。. b" `. I, ^9 j9 [; N
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.. f) Y# S  G0 F4 ^+ r( k1 \
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3 i( d% N* Z2 I8 {接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
$ P/ m, w7 e% g  b话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。/ }. C2 A+ E4 }6 A
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）' V% f% z3 j' ]
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
( d; f" x. b9 A8 x' OHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
% N9 a5 U2 ^6 i2 N' CMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?# T, l$ ]( x* q( W
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）! L# g/ c  X2 t
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）! Q' \, M# c& E' c4 t
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
1 O8 A9 U( k/ U+ M  c, R; C% LHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
, W2 q" `1 C  aWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）/ b, z9 y6 ^9 v+ T
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）! B+ k7 I/ w( }* v. w" T. g
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……