《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
" |( H' ?# e% d$ g3 {: QWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）  z) }: K, u$ C! q9 v# {! ], c& O
Holmes: I just picked it up.
. r& h4 a  C, v( u- _* C# K7 Z! `$ ?Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）" A5 G; n& r6 `( ^. C" T  c) {
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
9 j  E1 g5 l+ e! Y6 `Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）: V/ |& v& e1 \+ \" P
Holmes: You did.
- ?: ^1 N; a- j; |1 u（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）& z5 `2 m2 P# m
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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, m$ H% h; S( O9 ]0 R宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
! W4 n# z# k9 z. v7 n1 PWatson: Permission to enter the armory.$ a9 t/ O6 r7 n2 S
Holmes: Granted.( h3 ?6 a2 ?/ V  k* A, l4 c
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。( j  X. r% F. a# A3 x! y# \
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。' {9 P; U% L. X. s6 Y3 w: p
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' i5 `* O+ F# \. B7 {5 ~* ^Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
/ u8 j3 f% ?& q$ {/ IWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）" }/ n$ g, @4 C, B; B# C3 B
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。# l6 P; \3 I* p
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) ?2 z3 z+ U/ N) sIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。3 q3 Y" B9 m1 `& }8 C: }. e
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）4 A" t& w, |) W3 Z% ~
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?% K! h6 W% f6 L" y8 }# ~
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）  v6 O* \/ m/ v. I. z7 L3 J
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.8 G. u- c3 E/ Q4 }7 N
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0 F, y( f3 v# V5 Z; ~9 }/ q" ^' rIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
/ `* j6 H' Y! j0 ]2 h9 Z/ eHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）' }" T1 w' f% o  e" ], T* \
Watson: Get that out of my face.* w$ r# a# g+ ~) D  ^* e  g& l
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
: a2 E# i! w  ]. c9 V( K' AWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.' J) @5 i  N* h7 b$ @7 J- b
路人警官Clarky上场。
; `" V1 B( S" _, Q" u! q+ oClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.1 J# O4 d# _3 r2 Q1 k: I
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）5 U) n+ _& o1 j# j& F& c! e
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。/ A) J! I7 J) c% ^5 A3 M( f1 J
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?7 X6 p0 y5 w* T3 }" R0 {
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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$ R  l0 y6 d( ~. EHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.& a6 p" A& {7 ~- i! p
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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. ^, B5 s1 x4 b5 h河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。+ Y. b! q" G+ }- A$ p
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
: h, j7 G4 y& K7 b/ O5 FBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…; L0 Y- @5 u6 R1 D5 T0 v; A4 I
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）" E# @0 _& b- F) u6 d; h6 J
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
+ |; j( e/ n- ^2 cHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）# v* k2 {& k1 }& s, t0 v
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
  ~6 ~; x! h# D- r8 H1 E+ h% z& aHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
3 J' ^  q# u- ~8 G  ~0 v6 L+ ILestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。4 @0 i) R1 L- ^: j/ {! }
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。( ?1 ?5 Y8 C8 e2 X" `
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）' @3 M  O3 q( H0 @* S# {+ @# l, P
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
. ^5 [" e$ U2 R9 S) MHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）& U7 S# g* P5 ]0 \3 I4 x6 V6 x5 _
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?$ ^+ j' @# H  C
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）4 N0 l$ u7 \7 a4 ~. v9 H+ p
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）5 y' D! E$ ^9 _% i; n' ]
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
$ i( q7 u8 o4 ?# b- K& g4 hHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）# @+ _$ S( n& f, T
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
0 Z+ ]+ C; j3 EMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
$ }6 ~$ M+ @! R7 c（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）& a7 N7 G( N1 H" L# l# g9 Y
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; f' G( B% A0 s7 Q6 {% Q总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……