《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
3 X$ W" F0 M  qWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）7 c$ f) G8 C. k: M( d8 R
Holmes: I just picked it up.; j. \0 @$ ]8 q2 c6 S
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
/ ]0 G2 b+ H0 h6 x$ eHolmes: Knew I forgot something.+ u+ S/ S( O, t
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
5 y( E$ w  B" E7 o: s7 G: u& Q. F6 x2 l! ?Holmes: You did.
, D7 }0 ?. Z( J0 @) R  x" U! n（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
# G/ u# h* A9 J9 uHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.+ f/ o8 s5 H% O9 K
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。  k$ B! t) c/ }# `! I. x3 N' W
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
- x2 g" S+ D$ a8 q9 ~4 {Holmes: Granted.0 X8 k) Q  k/ v3 T
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0 F+ d% k( Z$ P+ Q晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。" \2 \- p; J( V5 ^0 z
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。2 r. j' l( z' l9 U: G7 o0 ?; I/ g" i( m
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9 e1 R. W4 l- t6 J$ x/ [) PWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
' f2 e% r# d$ T) z' |Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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1 W& V0 w9 S2 G0 jHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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* X# P/ G- r3 X6 mBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。0 x  ?: `* z4 L0 l* W4 s! Q
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。  X/ c3 v' l, c: R4 J
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）3 J* t2 k, Q) ]5 H6 m
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
9 ?, L) i; ~" o: S! J$ P( I: b8 _Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
+ O7 T* I, j' \! K3 t% Y1 ^/ oIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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. x8 ?; X1 x3 B$ TIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。1 v3 l8 _+ ]+ W6 G% t5 K6 v
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）1 Z& @0 g7 @) e) e0 p
Watson: Get that out of my face.3 L6 o" D3 o; Y, n5 u
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
  K3 M+ @% G+ t# [+ ~Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.1 V( [# i+ w( ]" R' K
路人警官Clarky上场。
4 K! b, j  W9 u$ X8 IClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.% ~' L0 W2 b+ `+ \5 K
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
# h/ \6 c( l1 g1 t# M得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。4 p+ i3 v+ g( @
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
1 @8 I  A4 w1 O% a, BHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not." x. w# R8 t9 d2 h: U& N
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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% {8 K# d! V9 ~2 N) f7 }& SHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
) C) R( Y/ q5 }( {3 S: x0 A4 `Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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1 \6 j- M7 b3 l$ x8 u河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。+ H* Z8 H" |$ ?" L2 }
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）% s8 P. U: H) ]
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…6 h  b" [, p/ N/ c. V" X% _
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）5 D, H- V' r, y) A) I2 b
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。+ N+ V. r& j# |. l* z
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
" e# D7 J: B7 h0 v后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
, ^& i* [9 f6 [Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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; t4 h6 n0 C8 ]. m( i2 e警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
' J1 ?6 M0 C: {0 j9 J7 jLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.4 y6 g1 r* ?0 `8 e) ?$ f0 y. c) Q9 Z
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
$ }/ w. m5 N4 q5 Q( P话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
3 A$ r" T5 ~5 K% Z7 _  }. v" ?Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
# W. u; H% O& u1 Y  TWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
: }6 n) M, P: [9 B; jHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）6 \, z" W% m# a. G) m7 e  ]' ~
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?5 U* r: J0 r1 s% Z. O
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
& W% i6 }/ @6 M, ~Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
- i* W3 q$ Z+ H, _Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
  k9 H4 y& r: Y' u, S2 @+ \Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）* }& w& }1 m; m8 V6 k& H+ K6 k1 f. s; a
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
- D) d" ^+ Y  s; rMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
* S7 h' x9 _, e) B: \. d5 v- F$ `（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）1 G5 Q3 A$ n. ?# ~& V- |4 b2 p
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……