《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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3 Z& f% _6 @1 U) j影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。9 ^; R! v8 ]! k. k- o( t
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）1 G5 ?! n" R2 F* e+ r2 [
Holmes: I just picked it up.
6 N* u) o/ ^- T) e; ?5 P) ?- nWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
: N" n- t5 g9 T- E9 t8 g. Y+ `1 eHolmes: Knew I forgot something.7 l+ U1 f: ?6 U- r3 y/ e
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）3 a& u3 {) O  F( ~- X% B' G
Holmes: You did.4 {/ z5 e# M$ X* r
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
' m- r* ^1 H" J! c. t4 B1 u3 z" |' ]& wHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。& c; m! @- {" O6 ^6 \2 x/ V0 _4 ^! v: m
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.8 ^( O, s9 f$ C& l- P# W
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
1 Z2 R  w" K; d5 \) I7 F, D5 a6 zWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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* g( p# ~) M7 I8 s拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。) i+ |8 x% f6 _& J& j' C0 o
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( U6 n4 J" _$ w+ SWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
- U0 J+ X4 x1 q! l) q- MWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）$ m+ P" L& c% g; X( ~4 K0 Z! C
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6 \" u6 ^' `) z/ V, r: f5 j  \Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。2 T0 h3 E2 s* j* n
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
9 l- z; H3 W# }（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
, v$ s5 B. v6 N1 H7 gIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
( M  ?* f+ M) i6 F9 @Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）. k( Z+ w. b3 h/ d% e7 v% D  k6 O
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。' L2 T- ?! e: v3 W8 A" C: D9 b' z$ t
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
; _5 p' o  [) u8 Z0 |0 @Watson: Get that out of my face.
% Y& b" r% _3 _* a4 |0 nHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
$ }7 }& I4 o. O( ^1 z) _5 P# \Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
0 b$ d* q7 W" p' J7 y6 B路人警官Clarky上场。
2 t7 t$ G2 A4 f/ t8 p( q) jClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.0 o5 @$ m* C5 f) g1 y6 N% d, t
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）/ ~0 g. E0 F& X2 S$ ~+ G& Y
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
6 k( K; j2 a( z, R4 |) [Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
! K8 S3 }& A7 X6 }Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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+ k/ q* r4 u- q) `' a' m! M墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。6 E' t- u5 n( ?( p1 I
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）! W, H, _5 F# j: o5 H
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.8 L) |7 a4 V' p1 B+ o1 o+ I
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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0 D8 c- ]4 L2 W5 t& n! g! Z: u河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。6 M! j+ i$ ]$ T/ r0 {: S% d- S: W! I$ J
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
, Z; d% u- g% k. U2 \: ?$ qBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…4 W' R( U" @9 E6 n: a  c
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）/ J. l; O- Z8 ~
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
1 A, A/ v, `2 g! U1 }9 BHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
/ Y" A6 r! U1 T! n" {$ N0 ?: `后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
* h: O, X8 a! v  e" T3 nHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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& B$ h/ Q6 T6 Z& z0 }2 K警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
4 b8 r9 ]6 L$ K1 S5 U$ o1 ]& BLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
; B# `7 Y* C" x- T+ s* W5 M话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。  e; z  \' N* v* Z9 U& z# w. S
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）4 n/ F5 y3 r3 e4 P/ V# z
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
: F4 i7 j0 T0 c; g* n4 x4 A3 EHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）# m& L* z/ z' V4 @) G
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
2 P8 Y& J  p2 ^6 R( n+ EWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
. N/ S2 z. d% S9 W9 D0 }Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
$ A0 {' z5 g. Y' A$ \Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
$ v# a6 i: f% W" QHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
$ g/ c4 u4 g  WWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
6 e/ }* m5 @8 y0 n& {2 }4 |Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
8 {2 ^/ {5 {- m  W1 `' k（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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# r- W- A% u  t) H' a总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……