《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。/ J9 L' J- y, I- y; z
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。4 P! ~3 R  S3 _8 M" h
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）4 p# y' j( f7 i1 M7 E
Holmes: I just picked it up.
3 g% j$ I7 ^, q) sWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）, B0 P. V4 n. O& v2 s
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
9 M0 G$ S: c+ Z6 F* W  b6 F  A: NWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）+ x5 e$ t  u9 a' I7 O' i
Holmes: You did.* p- z- v" F4 Q7 ?. |- O2 h$ D, i
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）$ w9 L0 D" I+ {: H$ g( v% O6 o" h
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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. Z4 ^8 d, M8 c% G% d  s1 m7 A5 Z2 K宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
* O9 m9 [* e' J& d7 [3 k5 q5 ?Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
, Z7 V. e: z! P! XHolmes: Granted.7 l, n9 H) `( v! F4 R. L7 o2 F2 _
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8 v- L3 ?* }5 x: |! z# A/ V5 C晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。& O- @  S, L6 ?: o% z
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。" E# |  g4 A) f+ p
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& w. g+ i  U4 G5 J* iWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
2 J) O! p1 V  D: }) SWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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" m4 U' q$ X  t: X  T5 EBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。' i! e4 }, c' |$ i6 A
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）) _# X0 R9 T, T- d; M, ^
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
2 ]; P# C" [8 yHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）6 \1 }0 K+ z; r  t6 A
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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! l" I) V7 r( F$ P6 U% C: c! {. [Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。4 E3 `! T. X1 z" A
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
) d) n# [& M$ E* v" iWatson: Get that out of my face.
; l# v2 N# @* e3 i! N  `3 `0 MHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.1 i+ Y3 o5 g4 R' \; }
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
. e2 p: v3 J, p4 ?- s' j' P% ?路人警官Clarky上场。; G0 }! I$ L' U$ j% G8 y; T
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
. x% N% c& Z. h. [* {Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）- F3 f4 h( f. S$ D& N  b
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
" k: a/ f8 |4 j6 kWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?4 r7 i- p( O; v. I2 p! _5 Z
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.6 t  h3 j" g( z$ D- H' {( ^& ?
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5 }7 f4 a. M5 \) A' s墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。$ d, K5 m/ \( B; Q) N$ |
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）# j6 z  ]1 K7 |( |
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.# b7 T1 K) Q# P6 p$ Y
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）! t9 k" I9 E3 F% I5 P
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# Q6 A. R- J; W! X! |. _河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
, i* g/ c2 j% x# z8 RHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
+ p) F( z& n0 }Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…6 ?: s' A9 R. K5 N& N
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
8 D4 u0 e) p9 u5 ]& H死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
0 |9 h! ]$ V7 ^9 u; K& Z) c7 MHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）) x8 B; l5 q* z  c
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
# J& K; A4 I) B  ?. }6 ~" M2 I0 }3 uHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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* k5 W* ?- }: B警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。  N6 |: S  B0 F! h. q- l; n2 f
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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7 I& H& {4 N6 s: `接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
* Q. t6 {5 y4 C9 ?* [5 G话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
; Z$ n/ p: e' |8 pHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
( R' ?  z( B- d9 t8 Z  x5 A& NWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
1 h/ D9 i' L1 @: X6 G7 THolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
; G+ p- H- u& JMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
% ~- F  ?+ M9 m9 S8 MWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
! ~. @& o* H1 ]2 S7 t# H0 nHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）3 r' }$ Y) z  d6 @' k
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）7 k) o) C9 j$ d- _2 }8 l8 G& z
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
5 P$ W! Y' B$ AWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
! k, y. e( X4 \Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
, I2 J  N, E) G（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）7 a& C* e4 R: B: y% f
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" r4 O* l" K5 {总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……