《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。' K( k8 Z8 }" G- C  J
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。: o, u5 Q' S8 ?+ E2 V9 v
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
. u6 |. L& Z, nHolmes: I just picked it up.: [9 N& V/ x) A2 F9 ~" c
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
+ h! @) m, r2 JHolmes: Knew I forgot something.- m- P! d" z8 Q* i9 z; S
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）# u6 Q" {, l, @- V
Holmes: You did.
8 n1 k. G4 G, C5 [8 ]（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
" e$ j+ r5 M; G: {+ xHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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- l* ~6 x. P* ^6 h( K宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
$ K9 m! i) G4 G& UWatson: Permission to enter the armory.' {% w9 Y  D& H
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。. I2 A5 \) u) A- N# a* G! K
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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2 D7 n9 ?; z& q9 y1 xWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。' E+ K; T) C  I. Z: P
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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5 x7 ]" D/ z: D  vHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?! ~' l$ x  S# @' _& P
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）, m0 x6 R: R$ a% n
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
9 Z8 Y0 X3 I* S# v' B* o. c# cHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
+ f% h3 m2 _8 L' T$ S' jWatson: Get that out of my face.% E4 s9 n2 L+ i5 E1 b' n" D4 R
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.2 K% r  G7 C& U% F
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
# Z; T% h- o) n2 z: d3 g$ f路人警官Clarky上场。0 h, q+ C- X$ E8 i4 F" f
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
) p5 q3 N& @( a8 q; @5 dHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）6 ?: ^9 u7 g2 T) J
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
/ K, @  o9 P- c, HWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?2 T4 L5 a: q% L0 i2 I
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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3 M/ f4 J& }9 Y) k墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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7 Z& g6 K8 d% @$ AHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
! L& n. _9 O6 Y" bWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）7 Q1 s/ d7 f( L/ K
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- {$ I' s+ ~5 b! g. \* [8 A3 L河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
1 c4 B0 L5 q2 `3 b' PHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
1 X+ X6 Z4 U! ~2 eBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
! E$ L- z- Y  u8 Z/ Z, BWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
. N. W7 Y* o. K8 |+ h  m  v死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
# ^/ W/ H7 m( ?, |7 kHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
8 f4 F  i( x+ }3 L5 r4 K1 Y" _* c后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
$ E  w/ b8 R: X7 o: s1 yHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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8 u+ w' @0 \$ Y2 ~; o; O! \0 F警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。- H( A& q' U! ?8 ?# x
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。$ Q# N6 ]7 F1 v- U/ T3 b9 }5 {/ I* Q
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
+ `$ S; k  }# _6 o7 R, IHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
' y5 I5 O0 f1 l1 ^# ?1 j0 RWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
- t; u8 J% B8 oHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）4 _: R3 U0 m6 O& z3 b8 I7 I) h
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?9 t$ z! i0 |4 b* r# P
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）' B0 n2 D2 x: w" W$ h
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
& }/ P; A/ `. F) O) G8 c2 L6 H" SWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
: ~$ I% E' p6 M. L# k- r% A( tHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
% y5 K9 b- u/ a) O) d$ ]) I0 aWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
6 }, T/ ~* c+ N& t* R% H5 ?Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
* ]0 F. C& m- n3 t( ^; u* U  {5 ~（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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8 s. N8 h4 n9 L4 c总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……