《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。# V* q8 R- Z# Y" {' ]
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）9 O3 z8 H2 `6 ^' T/ |2 l; D( u
Holmes: I just picked it up.
6 j8 r# E& F2 q, @4 s# N1 [# fWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
% A6 h/ n. r' C+ G: eHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
* ~, D" ^4 @0 a" gWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
( a+ M0 A# ?* L; ^  F& V, b3 aHolmes: You did.
: U0 P( e4 o; ?/ v（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
" q1 P) o8 R8 r2 P( v3 AHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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" a/ s3 P2 g- @% c3 G宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。6 }# ]' ]7 j, p/ p2 b& V: g# z
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
* d. a: Y; m, U( q& i2 eHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
& W5 c/ p. ]: X( i: O; zWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）6 p! a0 B! E4 o. O8 [
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; R. t+ ]5 }5 e8 z* @拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。6 N; i9 Y( R& H! I! I& V
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' e) G) M$ r0 V# H4 @Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。! h, G) C2 {6 |! Q, ^4 z
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。" S' i8 M% i6 t/ C6 u2 s
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/ F0 z: ~2 R7 x* dBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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( L& _9 u5 c4 NIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。+ D- h; i! x7 U9 ?( a
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）$ k0 J6 W) S+ M9 t' U2 d. K& @
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
8 O4 w8 `" d4 ?% nHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
; @: w4 }6 F& K4 d* B/ j! VIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.8 z2 D/ s0 P5 ^# X
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。. S8 P4 j( @) `( }$ G1 P6 y
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）4 `8 Y. K* F) c) ~8 k: f
Watson: Get that out of my face.' T: H( \" T  s% i* r
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
+ f; \! ~) S  OWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.8 P4 w4 l) S9 a
路人警官Clarky上场。
& D; p3 T7 G  m* I  L: wClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.. U8 J$ I& ?  }; D
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
  A+ C6 t5 B/ s得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
2 O( {! {1 i2 W: {) F6 P; Y& WWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?9 w3 z- l$ l1 `2 Y1 V
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
8 q6 R  g: G9 a% S（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
- G3 s* Q( p2 P8 V3 V1 IHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
- [" E) Y- M5 }8 [  H0 W  UWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）: q" D  f* d) D  [8 v% `
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。3 f4 i0 C3 q% `0 Z1 c. h
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）$ n: u( d# i. d' D! q
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…: S* n5 |! W! k+ X5 z8 ~- H
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）9 Z! h, t* E) O6 ]0 a
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
. f5 j! \1 E7 @$ z, |Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）7 J: c- I- Y, \# `8 J
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。* |. J0 t6 C( T, v8 ]. W! ]2 F
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
8 f( p5 b8 R; O, ^" mLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.9 a0 H9 D$ c6 M3 v. ]
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2 S6 M/ T' `# O# H- c: \2 d接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
! a7 P, M: Q7 i; F! W话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。$ {$ w0 C8 p% {# q
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）4 j. q8 ?, G- S: r+ N# r7 v
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
: ^. F% B# }6 J+ qHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）. j& Q4 P2 x7 w/ f
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?& w1 D* Y7 H9 i8 b( `
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
6 y7 h2 q/ m2 V! q/ \5 N* aHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）/ r2 }4 f5 t; r& |: t
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
; e: }6 ^' X6 n+ XHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
2 j: W! V0 t1 X- Z3 zWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）+ _- N/ p, o3 X7 M  m# ?
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）1 M/ b4 I5 U5 M& _  }- `$ p
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）( R! S# O7 A$ l# j& y: W) E' U
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( k" S8 s7 c0 h) N. V总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……