《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。8 C/ ~' }- F8 l& c* `( J
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）+ N- U$ I$ y) o$ {
Holmes: I just picked it up.
8 q' W  L9 k$ C  B8 {0 X$ {& ZWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
! t0 D: ?' R1 LHolmes: Knew I forgot something.: \! E& ~+ v7 H  X; b4 G& i! H
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
& P! v, D$ V9 i6 nHolmes: You did.
9 |4 p9 |0 P1 J+ P9 M$ K1 n! R（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
0 q6 P1 v' `  S& f  X0 u: r! f- O! yHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
2 N% w/ T7 u6 m, S! ?: X3 e$ bWatson: Permission to enter the armory.) Y4 `1 W9 \2 M5 A, A
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。4 x- N& A5 o; W" k  X7 A1 c
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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# U' [# o- n/ k; p拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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+ B+ ]1 c3 @5 \, n# |2 aWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。% ?, F+ \2 D7 G
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）$ S2 S: ~+ g; A4 W. O
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" ^2 j0 v* @; v5 U; }Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。; B* B* [! o2 Z/ ]- J& {* ?
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* p3 W& u% g) U# {, A* Y+ I# yBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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% z: {( x1 d! dIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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, c% p& T: B6 ^& L( H( s" a4 n4 J) }  uIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?' o4 x4 P! U7 n5 l) S  U* t' f/ K
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
7 J) ^8 W; w8 HIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.4 s; z8 J! k9 z; g
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
/ p% r6 ]/ @+ Z2 v1 H' s, A" ?Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）; m" Y; A9 C* k" S8 ?
Watson: Get that out of my face.
! F/ }& w! N# KHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.( p9 q% D" o+ Y
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
. x+ i: l4 \. H3 @) O路人警官Clarky上场。
( P' N( e/ z0 q6 ^" w6 f: e! EClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.6 T( d. c, r, I+ ^" R2 c$ Q
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）0 D' @/ |& T3 }) J; D+ R3 O
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。4 N9 m9 N3 U/ r, x" s
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
% {' D' S' P" `* w; O! S0 r! c0 BHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。! e) H$ E/ D6 d" M. V4 Y
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）" z" p6 p  f8 m& {1 A3 _7 m
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.9 R5 M; F9 ~) w8 o6 u- x
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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6 ?8 g) W6 R5 Y8 F  @) l河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。* N  P7 }$ q; E9 B7 ]6 ]2 y  o
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）' C, l! x8 ^1 j# v  T) P4 m% R$ q
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…+ @7 J2 s( v% I& I7 _* h; E: X& ^
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）( u. P* k( m$ W# T1 ~, v& U
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。! _8 W: M( s0 ~  _8 S1 B
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
" `) Q5 A0 i1 D4 d' V后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
7 ?2 M( ^" d1 z2 m7 mHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）. v) z+ ?" v# C$ v, @3 N7 ]0 z* ^$ _/ [" P
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: z7 E- n+ i) }1 k1 O" \警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。. M3 @: V# Z7 o; j, d- Z+ \/ p2 o
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.0 I4 W, R$ h8 a9 `6 k' y2 F
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' _: ^! y# |+ r接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
) }0 G% ?! }3 q3 G话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
7 e' ^0 Z( Q7 v7 }$ tHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）3 j" c- n3 @6 z) q
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
( y, V& E8 K  o9 T' r( p& e; dHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）! H  E+ h4 [2 ?' X9 r" G
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?3 I% Y% H) F3 E' v" J: ?: m
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）+ V1 N% Z& A. ]4 @( b# j# d
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
" l/ z# y0 @% Z& N9 b9 |# ?Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
( ?& k+ l+ A2 F  z) U) fHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
$ M2 j( {/ l0 b( Q# j0 W% \$ sWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
: K4 V5 @4 K( }3 y# o* H8 L" kMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）/ l! @1 T% e/ Z" X) V
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）' m; A- e5 U0 N5 X3 A6 s( z
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" a2 T, ~4 a& J( V- q& w总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……