《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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: T, h# ^7 J" t) f; a1 s影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。9 N) ^, R, b5 f  B2 y1 ~
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
! N, h6 G+ z# V* `Holmes: I just picked it up.
4 D4 D, Q6 q/ k* }Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
( ]0 b) c: L$ S! _1 J  UHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
* I( `- S1 [4 V- `$ EWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）5 D( K. `3 s! L' {, A: o
Holmes: You did.! u- [- e# Q# f" z
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
5 W# ~# Y+ j9 R: FHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.+ c" d- M6 q* A5 R2 }( ^! m% r' C' M
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# i( X  F4 h3 i! v: y+ |2 s3 A宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。) R. Q+ L# B# w& S8 c7 C
Watson: Permission to enter the armory./ i3 z( C, u. a+ E( S/ n* q
Holmes: Granted.6 d" R- i4 E' P7 X0 _
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6 t" M7 T% A3 P! O+ X% Y' q; `晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
8 a* I: \4 Y6 I$ a! j7 JWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）4 {$ L  @1 i8 \2 Y; d4 G+ n9 E
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$ f2 R' u: N% B7 Y: p3 N' U拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。" K7 Z: M& o& [) I8 L* d/ T3 H
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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5 \% C- f) T# {% b0 h2 KBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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: Z: Q1 r8 V! \" ]8 ^Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。$ k4 B# f2 P! s
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）0 [& {5 l; s5 e6 p* A, v
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?, p' N3 D/ T2 `6 G9 `
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）. L# }( ]* v1 S2 Y
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.6 l1 E" j( ]9 s' w
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3 T* @$ k3 _7 q1 ]Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
8 \; ]# s6 o, ^Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
+ p8 w; U( r+ R! a6 T. c/ aWatson: Get that out of my face.
% k1 M. G7 q8 B+ K- N0 y+ D  _Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
( e0 [/ t( r9 K5 x( KWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
( w# M$ n6 [  @1 x  h/ S, N8 l路人警官Clarky上场。
: p- _' b% s5 n7 NClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
* x" E5 W( U' Z7 `7 ^$ uHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）  |8 ?+ H* B. r1 t- V, @
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
( I+ m* D4 N; a+ v( K2 Q& ]Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?' E+ E& X0 t6 ]: p! n, C
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.! ~0 s$ h' |) B' g3 U9 i9 z
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
; d* k2 w' z4 a& Q（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
7 e) e( o1 B: T7 I; XHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
" B/ s' e7 D2 a# b8 q" [% [/ ?Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
1 H5 Z/ a4 ], \: wHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）2 K4 P! D8 d4 c) v0 V
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…" _6 Y# g  a/ |
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
3 y' h6 |  N: n; @0 |8 g2 z死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
9 ?  Y" [; l) \0 L- K# S' [" R2 BHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
; r) z* X% G/ z  D! {# k后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。  {( M3 @% N# n3 _
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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" V: c5 w/ B7 w% P; l6 d( y  m# P警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。$ v5 p, G$ A- {
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.6 G! Q; A: d1 b$ u- h
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。7 b: f7 \) k+ j! c
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。( E, w9 I' O, o% s  B
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）2 D& o, f) R" R' f
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）* E4 J) E( w, ^
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
) V8 Q% `+ k! h( Y! _Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
+ c- ?( K9 {  @2 K) _6 |5 |Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）' k3 ^: J1 E$ X
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
! b: C. C& h1 i9 o2 p* H0 hWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）$ \+ ^- ~$ S' M) E0 }- E5 d
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）) i; d; \# `. _: L5 r& P2 b! |' v
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）: A& C$ J& s& M* h; w& y5 |( M+ B
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）( R/ j# W6 g5 v* u
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……