《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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) z3 X, h$ |) S; e影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。: |' l1 \9 l) G& L5 U! E6 v
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）' [+ A6 t2 h% v1 r7 J6 P
Holmes: I just picked it up.1 n5 d  N- i& ]' W. C
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
7 Z. p$ R( R9 c5 \( [- GHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
3 V3 l& e7 r( f2 fWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）( c0 @# X7 c( _+ I4 L. r
Holmes: You did.* h+ B- z7 X. G% u# p% \
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）4 ?) S. g. X4 `8 A8 d
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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  V7 z" X0 ?4 K, L" C4 O7 b3 H6 M宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
) T) y/ s/ P1 kWatson: Permission to enter the armory.2 W" T/ K7 j. \+ D# X
Holmes: Granted.5 L* q3 Y! f* S4 d9 r, Z7 \
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。; a$ v: k0 N/ D
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。3 Z3 G: x/ h* Y' @
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! {: e& A% m* u1 H2 Q& gWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
6 e+ y# D+ O" t3 }$ @! f) GWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）( m2 W& ]1 q/ }) {
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。3 m# J0 ~, V% T/ W' e* u
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。. \1 w2 U6 H2 B. D# G. h
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
4 I1 r2 U5 h, j% S- L% jIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?$ |; ]' R' x6 ^3 |, @. [6 ]  q  [! p
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
6 E) }# P( A, `( Z  u/ @& |+ FIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。8 D' {0 X" X; p) P
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）! H( y( f- R+ l9 x
Watson: Get that out of my face.
& E" Q! h8 t8 h  b1 ?; c+ D, N2 fHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
% n) ^  g3 i/ x2 Y$ s: w; S7 K8 ?  JWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
/ k8 e6 n( w& b' f+ m, R2 ~路人警官Clarky上场。
/ ~: I4 ~( X% c+ Q7 ^Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.% b" c/ e3 j% [  Y3 |) \
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
0 R. z8 B; U4 n9 k得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。5 i# A1 U- R# b. i* p* e
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?; \2 m: y7 ?/ Q! \/ J0 }
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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7 s1 C. }7 E3 g; B( R墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
+ z7 Z- a' _/ s' E6 K5 E0 h（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）2 `4 h7 y' X* c% W0 w
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.7 ^% B- Y! H* s$ N
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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7 L2 [6 m# z( r! U% x7 I$ `河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
& }7 s2 W: ]/ S  B8 _Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）% J4 Q( |' j' K! U
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…/ p1 ?; _- |" I8 ^. {6 P
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）1 b$ S  M# M% p8 k$ v1 F" q
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
1 U  N' d1 Y0 @6 ]- d! R6 OHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）  L4 x  v9 _) E8 Z
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。! j& _, y9 J: V8 V* s
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）" c' Y  W. e. E$ b0 @6 F
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。: S% C4 |6 T7 X: `2 Q$ ]  z
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.9 [. {2 [! C4 F7 L5 L* F
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$ i* r0 I/ a1 F" M' g接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
' a& w" T5 m1 \! r& U话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
6 k! R# ~3 j+ cHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）( s8 q+ I5 [) L! E4 ?, ?
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）0 g$ p' Z# b- X4 P. Y& @
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）6 m. W1 f0 f' l, J- B6 v2 |' A) c6 O
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
5 v9 x6 q3 J. U( g3 R( j3 rWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）" N) l4 b/ I, \
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）6 s- H  `( D8 b) Y# b# x: f
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）' G7 M' a( R- r1 W, \# Q$ [' U
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）( J: a( m8 |7 N' J- ~
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
" e# B; [9 X& YMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……