《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
/ I4 ~/ R- W. rWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
. e0 d" q  ^9 QHolmes: I just picked it up.* ]* Q/ k5 _0 S# O: n- I
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
" R: ]# J7 V: n  z, _; ^, U5 t2 dHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
! s) `, A" D0 m0 S4 X$ KWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）: o. P9 z+ |# G/ u$ x
Holmes: You did., q* j- ^2 I9 \
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）9 [2 ^6 @; L) w
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.$ |; k* ?0 f0 i% C! n& b
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
7 e9 T0 b* g/ }" WWatson: Permission to enter the armory.8 q" _/ _4 K& }- F
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
: b! O- s( e) q! e3 b! p4 T6 zWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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0 O' N) H8 ?: m# S; j! k拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。1 N! Y# p3 c4 c" r8 n
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
; b- y0 I8 G7 I( f! O  h7 h8 PWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）( q! u2 o7 l+ ]) ?
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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2 r- E; M  \! [: O( d! z8 ]Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。8 X. S1 K6 O- p5 o
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）! L5 c9 h9 e% t9 Y$ T. s
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?' j5 k( a+ H- u
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）, B4 y  l1 ~7 G" R  N
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.6 C  |; m0 E0 e) Y. g5 f3 ]8 ]
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。! _3 {3 t; ]: P5 l( n) m
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
& J# T/ H0 j/ ?9 ^" y2 qWatson: Get that out of my face.
8 F5 R: t4 x7 |6 K/ M9 T# KHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
; d( _& z5 q& i  q$ J2 pWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.. m: l  b6 b4 c* ^1 {
路人警官Clarky上场。8 N/ E1 T  N% j  R% Y# s6 |1 d
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
+ X5 n2 x1 E0 Z( G- Y' L# nHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
" k5 ^- ^: h$ v- q) w, z" w7 h4 ?得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。8 d2 G% F  k  ]7 h& ]  \. K/ E
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?0 p2 I( K3 X- }+ W, s8 I" q
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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! t/ t7 A! N0 H& Z  L墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。" L# i7 f6 M1 o' i" A
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）$ D; s/ v, ^( [# {
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
% y! I- l1 g! e3 f. D% G! KWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
5 Z2 }7 h0 S8 z, v( a2 H5 o  S$ ^Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）3 C4 H% l5 z3 v  v. L! a5 O9 g
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
# ?0 T6 j  l& O6 BWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）( D7 {2 c0 l1 E7 C% m
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
! J) |. O" |2 q) [- W) VHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）8 f4 j1 b3 g( d: Q/ u
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
# {' n5 v3 e  `' q# p6 a: f6 z" ZHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）% `" N. x- E' s. B. C% r
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3 d) ~6 n, [! B! P6 F7 ]警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
( z0 j2 l( R* w0 Z- WLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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: N( ~6 y- v0 h+ a接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。+ y! ~1 `- ^8 U
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
1 f% q, s! n8 M  u9 a9 SHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）, \, q  S3 n" `/ y% y4 `( U
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
' \3 W. A+ v4 H0 tHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）  E* C( ]& r! o' e! l& V" g; O
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?$ i4 i! x& p+ V* Q
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）2 v* ]7 H+ C: B$ n$ F& h; g
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）0 t! A% s" C7 J, R* F# P, W1 F
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）$ G! R: X: P7 w5 ~7 O
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）7 l) j% k5 Q/ N0 c5 V" {2 e
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）4 x6 a, g) O$ J* D& f( h- F
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）+ h# w: R2 x; y1 y, d9 {
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）4 w1 P& Q) }) E7 h) |7 ^0 W, m" e
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……