《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
; I. `4 ]. z; @1 Y) ]/ sWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）- G  Y% F$ T5 @* C$ p0 R
Holmes: I just picked it up.1 s; ?  q1 d- y" v3 \
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）) k0 w4 B" J* H' M, O
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.2 l( I5 w! x- b; Q
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
( q* i3 V* j0 l: gHolmes: You did.( w: }  G5 N2 \* L* x) C
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）( T$ Z) z* Y2 c8 C& }
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.7 o: M. {8 W/ p, Z2 g
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5 J' D. Z/ L& _8 v- _宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。; n8 m3 T/ n4 z. A5 ~
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.; k# [3 v" a& G& n$ s
Holmes: Granted.
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9 ]( Y# d: R6 Q! B晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。5 O" e9 c0 b4 U; M. W; X, M
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）, B2 \$ h/ Q" K- H: Y: F
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。, V2 P) ?& g0 h- g* h8 B8 u' ?
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2 X# U+ ~& P; P* E2 t+ oWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
. G  m2 M: ^% f; K" }Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）2 Z+ I* P; J4 H" y0 {' m
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2 T4 f( i" S- ]8 B( M3 qHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。+ W: t- ^: r+ L5 A2 f+ Y$ A& e
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。# R& ?& P* V% L# U/ D- ?. x# T( q$ E
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; d) |) c1 W: ?Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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2 ~$ Y; V0 V  A% ?4 `, OIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?& \3 ^* Y. k" D5 H; n
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）3 b/ R& E- P! I  l. m1 y8 ?, L7 u1 z: v
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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. U# z+ c. E. c/ I/ G8 CIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
+ H, b; ^& F1 B- U0 _/ {% [Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
; X1 q" d" V/ s. ^+ MWatson: Get that out of my face.
5 B* F+ X/ @7 gHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.5 q$ u3 b. l, A+ N+ [
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.1 d6 w. I3 w2 s. v
路人警官Clarky上场。( H4 f8 _8 E% B: t
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.- x# ^& a! U* W) J2 E
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）4 f+ H% B8 F- p' g9 G. |: S* Z
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。6 h# v9 W' n7 v( o: b/ i$ t
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?1 v4 P0 G/ X1 n* |& g
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not./ {6 |; a1 l/ F: d" I, {$ j
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, d* s2 X) R3 Z& v9 ~  _8 K3 ]" Z墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。, D3 N; n5 I, W2 e; B% @
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
- \& U) |, ]5 r4 J& T% ]! rHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
& [# S- }! {4 _0 S2 Y0 N5 CWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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( V2 U  ]1 {- C: B河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。/ |$ P: L( ?1 q& F7 [
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）# p/ r4 B( O  P/ ]! y
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…2 C# f1 J$ m  K  \0 a
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
: g+ v: p  g7 Z' [死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
+ \! D1 c. w$ e; D& dHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）3 Z# k. d" z, \/ N3 y
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
3 T6 ?" r+ Z* q2 X$ QHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）: J1 W/ H* `7 d, _3 @, Q# _
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/ A; n3 v" y( D) m" ^, n" {警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。. |+ N" i3 x6 D: _" j
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。9 k1 t* _3 A, G2 G2 ^5 \7 W" S
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
6 r, v* y- G1 I1 B$ J, C3 i' v0 `1 BHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）2 b! N8 X) D  K6 |% h, d
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
; J% x5 k% U2 _% @3 F4 X5 u- @  AHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）4 H" P3 r$ T% u4 g- C9 ]
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
) O6 U+ i" x+ X& F" _6 E) {; T+ b+ ^Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）2 R( f7 L4 B% g2 R, L+ U6 L! _$ P
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）- D4 J! d  O7 z* }& a) O
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）( y6 N9 E/ t  ~8 I: C0 r
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）* P( L+ D; W; x1 ^& g# M1 J+ P
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
# l" {; G( F/ `: d2 n- m) H4 ]Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
4 I( U2 |8 v8 W（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……