《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。' B7 H, V/ e; o# ]; W
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
4 v9 q& ?; S( [' J% u# X8 S* zHolmes: I just picked it up.
- l' P  h3 v1 g: ~) WWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
- l1 Q, r$ A! S" X2 w) xHolmes: Knew I forgot something.& h7 s* `  \( P. K  k0 j/ U, Y
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
- `9 {( L3 b1 {, ~Holmes: You did.1 \! U* ~3 i) c0 k# w
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）# T: l, M6 U" d+ O, n
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.' L. w! P8 o8 S& t
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。) f! j7 @6 b1 a2 a* ^+ ~. b4 T
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
* y# e% b: c6 zHolmes: Granted.
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6 d6 r& q% e' _' j: W晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
1 o: o9 Q$ P  a9 iWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）5 \, q0 a( [% r, s: C
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) Y7 x3 g7 t6 z; w8 k3 h拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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/ x) a; G1 S0 F- R. L: x) t: GWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。/ ]4 J; S, ]; g' M' r. J/ r
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。+ C) L( \( J7 M6 X+ t1 M
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。7 x* P8 R6 b2 o/ q/ h
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9 j4 f* r" t. m' A; O8 bIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
  s/ r$ z: Q" \8 S6 }. X1 s6 T, {Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
9 E3 F, k) V+ u! lIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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( {- n: D5 v) W. x# [( xIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。/ j8 F, }( k, o& N9 Y5 J5 w  x& k
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）8 n4 M6 t: o# ]* \7 [9 f
Watson: Get that out of my face.
( u) h, c0 i9 j0 T5 RHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.8 v/ u6 }/ H, s# m. ^: m9 m
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
! G% y3 D5 s3 x+ j  v. L5 `路人警官Clarky上场。
! I, e! P- ]$ D2 s% f8 ZClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
" r  N  I- c( qHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
. Z  l( }- A' p7 ^得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。% @# }& I5 [/ A7 D1 x! j( S3 ~
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
1 ^: K; I$ f& {% U+ j: Q; L) x7 x, ^9 xHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.& U  B/ Q0 x8 G6 {2 g% T3 K" c
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! E/ N' y4 s1 H# E7 O1 U) a墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.8 c8 L, T  f+ z, Y. o
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）3 Z9 g2 Z7 X4 W5 \* w
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4 o/ D+ U6 g7 \  z, W河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。  l  P( h" P, x5 g3 e
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
, ]# ?9 v' N! `: aBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…  Y5 |) F3 g6 J3 g9 M
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
! @/ }/ B- J' z" {死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。; C7 D2 J7 V' N
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
3 R0 S/ p# n# Q8 V; r! }1 C1 w& c后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。! q: a; O  o( t/ l2 I
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）& J# Z0 z. n) A! s5 n; e* ~3 }9 U
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
; I8 K8 \4 A8 `8 R" ZLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.6 ~) u1 ?8 K: _
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。: ]& Z# P; e9 C( ^
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
- \) O( M' M( D/ w  L8 DHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
2 }7 K- e$ L, hWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）. B! W7 E, j4 v3 E& ]- F
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）! r& c# e9 S' T0 b! }
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?0 _1 h$ R* ?' E+ M* D
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）+ X& V. [/ W* i8 v* h
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
: {8 [9 E, h. U9 A0 W6 DWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
/ a2 Y2 l$ J) w8 AHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
) S" M/ ^  Y. ~Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）6 w; O2 J" {* U, e. u
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
( O& g3 O1 Y. j0 e4 Z（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……