 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 ; m; H# b( r* T* ^( ^8 x
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 / t* p' \& Q/ [1 ] I
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) " v3 m/ a9 g% m. O; q# \
Holmes: I just picked it up.2 |8 ?' {$ P: H) |! a4 C7 H
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
) B: g) F: \! k7 `Holmes: Knew I forgot something.) |; z4 m4 u- P2 [. H4 Y
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
, z! u G& U, i' B- V4 x QHolmes: You did.
* p D4 |0 d5 @, i: T( R3 O3 k(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
0 M9 e* H$ l& _: C5 F5 v' Y U2 J' CHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.$ ?& b6 K7 V. L. L& q* a* V
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1 ]6 z" G& p% F% t" h" h$ G9 Z宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
- N* t# h' F4 n2 }0 X+ Y ]( J' FWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
8 t" d6 @! c8 kHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
: A+ l( g) c3 eWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) ( |; G! a4 x$ z
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0 ~+ z% y/ d4 N) ~7 z拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 ( H7 h' i. G4 r3 o/ c% {4 C
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$ j7 t9 u* }' A2 J6 aWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
7 d* w# a. b+ G7 X0 r2 I5 MWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 . U+ w' z) q, Z, k) P1 g; _
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8 M' B5 U) Y! L: w
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$ Q" t+ o' U4 w1 \Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 + L2 M6 m& b! b" u1 k, Q* {
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 3 S: x# z% Y4 {3 {% c
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?6 n1 A" g; g! G) d; d" d9 r
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 0 Q, t' D: c- q* Z
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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9 h( R" d# U1 g" y8 }Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 + F* J3 r' v0 Y1 m& }$ c3 m9 }# Y
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
9 @) ~* J" G- F/ u# YWatson: Get that out of my face.
0 M" ]+ t5 [1 {9 b# O" JHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
) _- W& A0 Y' ^% J; j, @; `Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
, u2 M' ^ ~$ m, G: k& g- A' A路人警官 Clarky上场。 ) p# M ]' {( k, \7 k- J; ]
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
% p" x) Z. h# q; BHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
# s6 y7 u* N/ }; k9 n得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
+ V5 f. \. |; c$ `2 T, pWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?! C0 {- |$ Y* S3 q
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.6 B& Y. `/ W! m) e
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 " S6 b% v0 K3 O8 Z6 l. @% `/ d
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 7 F" C4 j% Z! V) _
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.: s' B/ j- V% p3 ?7 }7 o1 G
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) 6 J. g& Q. U7 W! d4 H
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 / q# R# \& m+ N
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
- Y& Q3 M) C0 ?! C% D1 yBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…- y4 [+ {9 W$ T0 Z* U
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
' |2 ?/ K8 d" t0 T' i; b死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
( {, w: X! M$ [% bHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
; _! ~# ?$ z; B5 f后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
* t0 S' S" ^$ j( V. n ~( ^Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
" N! E% R/ i) GLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.( V9 N6 i) ~, |2 R5 W `! \
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 5 @/ b \: a1 f9 l
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
; ~8 P5 X$ p0 n/ vHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) S: [ {/ |# w0 P
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) $ I& O. h' J7 `
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 8 c% k8 c z& [4 y' J! a
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
6 K' ^' F! H( \3 U# G" K8 EWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
3 [# I2 k: {. I7 V# \5 QHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
$ w `" t; e2 _Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 7 {# a+ Y0 `/ i
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
( D" n* b# I y) ^" `& pWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) + x5 M0 r* Z& u7 }$ R
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
& E2 X2 L; g" E" N$ p$ V( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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