《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。  F6 l) W6 `& Y5 \, J  z* T0 F: V
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）' j! r1 r9 m  P/ i$ A
Holmes: I just picked it up.# G7 \# q: w. Y$ [+ k3 _, a
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）7 z/ k8 m- b# Q/ h9 s
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
: a# y( I( D- }9 k& @Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）( a* E+ g3 J! X4 B
Holmes: You did.
  }8 J& w6 E6 w; P3 ^* f2 j9 _（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
7 U2 `; G1 ~' U2 ]Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.0 }* q5 F) w0 [2 V* m" o) n
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: A; T1 T9 v5 F$ w. f- W宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。% m/ ~$ \8 T( F" S9 b* E4 c- v
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
+ a# j! S8 E4 B% ~0 b1 c# E1 tHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。9 U3 g# j: n9 n/ y4 Q, m
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）7 b* _3 e: m" d- N  Z
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/ `/ w9 o9 t% o7 D! p( n, r, G. ]拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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* n' v6 j  ?" U$ m3 b4 TWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
- Y/ m* b! Z3 A8 XWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）6 x1 B# K9 w  V2 Y/ ?
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- b- |& T1 P6 g; ~/ k: j$ c1 RHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。2 o) C7 f0 x# H3 m
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。- F* J& o! w+ }% q" p0 l1 n# D
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/ @8 z' b0 L( I1 VIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。& J# |: Z( }6 t: [* }. t
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）7 M% Y& L' Q3 M5 ^: z* r/ H* k
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
! ]& P  T4 p! W- U7 MHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）. ]% i5 g4 E9 _& [* y
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.  Q- w" _, z% g3 F* D0 Y6 I
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。( C  `: c" k: Y0 M/ r! R
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
1 H9 S* n3 |9 Q1 UWatson: Get that out of my face.
3 B4 p/ @! g, `# Z0 a% zHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
2 b7 P6 l4 g% DWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.5 v$ D3 N. ]7 s6 F4 \1 Y5 [. }
路人警官Clarky上场。, g- ]8 r2 O' y0 x2 \
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.0 M+ `; j% c! U3 B: l) |- [0 D; X. a
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
) f- {* q2 Q7 ?5 B. ~! }得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。( s9 [, U' t& f% T
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
" h+ h$ i" B$ n: F+ x% U+ oHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.; }7 V" ~0 U3 V1 a+ J/ y
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% X. W2 r% W) |6 Z! U墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
7 Q% j5 i; J- n+ V+ ~（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）( t- Y3 y0 g/ J; J  x
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.6 {. ^* b# C. S, L0 Q" D' l; s
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
4 p7 W4 D! ]2 h8 KHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）& U- ]% n3 F$ w5 b3 `4 V' i+ S* u
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
5 N' w  `6 U* T- m$ \9 x5 VWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）& i6 E* g2 o5 x. `% i' \
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。9 W: e& c: w9 L5 S3 @
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
) v. ?1 |1 z+ k5 c! z) g后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。( E9 G3 Y) y  N: w; C, N8 W0 b
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）2 ^0 V7 @5 q* u  }4 e* k
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
2 Q( c* T" z# Y/ [Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.# F/ w  ~2 A2 o3 u9 e3 V; e5 G
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& \( J: u$ D! q2 L3 L接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
/ \* E/ u, _$ P6 S) R- S% K话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
( T* D0 c! h) r. p+ `9 aHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）3 u& T- Z& ]1 v# T4 h9 m) n! ?* ~
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
2 ^* c4 |) J5 E, H, YHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
! J- B& ~8 K& @2 H5 j% x- @Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
8 \8 S4 \) O( Z; g  oWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
! s. S: G# D: E5 O" BHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）$ ]7 h2 o/ P, T: Y" S6 H' y, f
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
" K" H8 Z7 n; _. R" z/ p, DHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）0 F& r) N) N0 }$ q' u# k
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
- ?( h) k9 x3 A: c5 pMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
" e, Z3 y! ]5 D（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）: k) N5 j6 Z# |4 y; @$ W* _
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/ S) V9 i2 ]9 p总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……