《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。! q- T. M. ~9 k( D1 z; P* J
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
7 f* S, C  M- p& ]' Q, xWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）/ y0 X( T: [! H; v1 q
Holmes: I just picked it up." J4 N5 d9 }; P
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）# a, c+ m* n: H, [' N
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.) O' I- g: d/ k. D* A+ b
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）' m0 K. S/ F! U1 u
Holmes: You did.
' ]. `  O2 c1 c; k3 x% `（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
4 U5 [8 ^# V% aHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.$ f! C5 @3 d" {* D
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& N7 t+ @9 E. U  k# O. }宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。( k. ^0 R" ^5 D* W  X' P
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.# o. u& N- X) r4 p
Holmes: Granted.
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; s  D( f8 V! }, N' x4 h, Z; o晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
& |& ?" G$ B# G; F4 pWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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, \7 G; f, H. M4 D5 A3 a拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。7 e$ i; g& t9 y; H! q
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" W  n/ {1 S0 LWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。$ P/ t8 c% S  N5 s
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）& X$ S' G3 Z( t" \
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! A8 \1 D4 _4 b3 ~5 S, dHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。+ n8 r- y/ n5 U! f& {
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6 u3 I- z0 ]8 GBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。: w0 s4 w! I" Q* O8 p% m- R: H
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。) W, y  X- S6 Z4 o4 |; ]
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
3 g6 C7 B; t5 m) j* H, m2 ^  F, ^Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
, e' P7 k' W  M- oHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）1 ^0 x. y; }; L7 F
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
, o, {3 T8 E! d% o# ]  T2 M5 J7 GHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）  o+ w7 C+ h, F0 L  N, f8 I/ s: M$ V/ }
Watson: Get that out of my face.. u/ P0 W$ w' F/ n& D  G$ }6 C" t$ W
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand./ m! J. v( X1 i8 q
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
- p" u! v5 o) x# [: G" M8 l: R路人警官Clarky上场。
' x! k- M; u, h$ K# G: b9 eClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.* R4 K8 B( Z% ^0 P5 B3 H. }
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）6 ]; r: H% l! W; N4 u' \3 z
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。0 q: L5 y+ {$ n. K( d! c# p- _, [
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
8 V  r9 U0 h5 p* a* o6 AHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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1 F! `+ E4 U" e9 E3 |4 r墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
) t/ i( ^4 h$ I: _+ z1 l# J4 |, N（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
- A8 b0 J) u3 v* o/ J. OHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.+ ?6 o1 L5 m! \; ^$ W
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）! @( V2 D- }* u! \
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3 A9 Z4 \# \  q- v% X: n% C$ N0 W河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
% d! K  F/ w0 aHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）# N% k! _1 K; Q* X$ r( \' \
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
7 g2 k0 a' t7 uWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
3 M! \5 i3 i4 }" S死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。! D5 V; D$ A; h+ n/ M6 q2 D
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
' N" P7 o5 v6 s7 e, m后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。5 @, D) k. R# u) i# G. [& R1 I
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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: O; C1 M) H/ j5 R警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
1 }  I) B( C9 }5 c9 P# {Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
  _, K/ A7 x" O  [% n话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。) a2 X2 N- \5 k! C+ p9 R! d
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
9 l/ ~, e3 _' G# l. h: v% U& `5 PWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
% r9 }2 A# p6 ]Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）- g. y0 c# B5 v/ _2 t2 @$ H' V: F
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
2 @' P+ ~# a  d! Z9 @Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）$ C0 [6 j& d) [9 Z
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）* ]! ~2 P4 R  B
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）* P+ n& ?% \7 ?4 O% T6 l
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
4 t/ P- w% U5 F& q+ p- DWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）4 f4 g0 M* ]6 }: `) b/ c6 R5 ^
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
7 G2 `+ o" }3 ^' G" z4 o8 J（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）; g/ @$ I$ v" r/ B! C7 J
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/ e: k. z) _* P/ G. y7 |3 A7 g2 z总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……