《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。. t" d! s3 x& D+ W
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5 Z3 ~, U" q3 n6 ?影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
/ x' i2 N8 F; e( aWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）* ~* G/ P( O% L9 H
Holmes: I just picked it up.# q% C  ?. p% i' [7 Q
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
( X. G; ?3 c5 s0 s+ YHolmes: Knew I forgot something.0 M) p2 [0 R( v! z, c( \2 z4 W. r
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
2 Q6 ?% D: N$ I2 G0 U. @; b: uHolmes: You did.
9 W4 E- s9 S9 v: t（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
' I8 \; p- u/ B6 n7 V- o, bHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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; h, `  T/ E0 S9 n9 a0 T; G0 t宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
! z+ N6 R0 i& Q0 l8 G) s2 j. A  Z& iWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
1 h! c5 P0 R7 X+ X1 H3 MHolmes: Granted.
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  l- `! }) A0 f' V晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。8 y) ~  E9 x8 Q) _0 \8 j4 i& @6 T% m
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）% G! p: P: Y- P' p. ~( Y: R
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。' E+ d8 _6 V9 H: g) q
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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. j1 m! n2 t- W* @0 ZHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。7 ^, E6 m* D$ Q( F3 n; F
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。: h! t. l0 K+ L3 F! L( H
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。9 e6 m. O( z4 f/ w& s
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）! h( z" V% K$ h# `% ~% q6 r
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
. R# J# g) D, b; Q5 |/ r  G7 @' FHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）3 G& e" H# W  E
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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  W2 M3 t. n) FIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。  _) C* w/ E/ l; Q+ d
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
. d  r# w* B' E) m% M+ U9 p. [( TWatson: Get that out of my face.4 h2 Z& ]# i: h" s7 R7 Y
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
+ B; p2 A5 j  l. ]* Y9 FWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
: s5 }2 n7 C5 z/ Z: R6 Y  r路人警官Clarky上场。
9 w2 |$ J# L7 I% l7 VClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
. {' \! B0 N( _9 g  t7 sHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）% o/ [2 h" A, }6 ~
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
+ c/ ?7 E8 r, L, y! p7 oWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
% H# s. {9 s1 t3 ^Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.. S: J+ W( S6 J4 r% o, f/ M( C
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
0 w( [4 E6 a2 \（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
. e+ ?/ D- k- S- z0 k2 eHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.- L+ R) f! `2 ~: x$ E0 J
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。; V+ c, g& U& i* i8 k1 l/ y- D
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）+ ?% H; A) {) W
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
+ d; W0 y* J2 D5 eWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）8 U4 s3 ^: ]3 p! |5 L
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。, S  O* L2 v" l# M( b
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）5 Y0 q9 {1 U  L$ B
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。; \3 H9 g* U; Q, `% H
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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/ S- x; g/ ?, A- e* n警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
. H2 A& R7 `. e5 c" o: I9 ALestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.2 W5 B' E. w9 l. {! E8 W; Z
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9 L5 {6 D/ h! d0 t接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
) U3 U$ [7 ]! j. O3 `话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。5 A" l- u/ l) a# P! _4 k
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）( ~, E" _- I( w2 I* `
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）7 G3 L# V) f% N2 P
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
+ n! j4 X# |! ]. xMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?2 s( q" d$ v) q# P! |7 ?0 _" x
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
/ C: `: ]* k, HHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
' G" k6 A& Z2 c& ^Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
+ T+ @+ L5 F$ Y6 o9 u1 G& THolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
+ X$ H; I  X- S. H) qWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
, F* n" w& c! |) pMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）" b* g, F* q7 I7 r
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）" j5 m' M; D1 s) Z% y3 M
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4 z* J1 r2 H+ H& _总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……