《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。, P3 q: v3 C# F9 t  I: @
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。9 E% E. m  p# X, G. |( \: g
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）1 [1 J6 e" H4 I" q
Holmes: I just picked it up.& O9 R% @0 u/ p, f
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
6 }) \+ q3 R% D9 q  T! y3 lHolmes: Knew I forgot something.# {; j* h" K- k( S  J+ I5 g5 X
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
: A0 ^. H* N3 Q, I$ v# JHolmes: You did.1 _; d0 y7 O4 j; Z
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）" s" a5 v, U, w8 E9 @! }4 `
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.% m. r' m/ z! G: ?7 L
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- L% L1 E/ a7 N* a/ d宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
6 j/ ]  v  T4 y1 f: c& FWatson: Permission to enter the armory.7 V' W4 [, q4 E: P3 I% `
Holmes: Granted.+ X( Q: a$ u' s2 z
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9 D% X$ ?5 ~6 b# b晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
& ^' T0 N$ q$ NWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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1 L' D' t# d) O* J$ H  A0 C拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。% `9 a4 z3 R+ ~  p8 H& X
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。3 M" z9 K3 u- T3 i, D4 {5 P/ Q
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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- q  z% R  W9 j) a- V5 F( w5 }Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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* N4 J5 {9 b" x9 J" _Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。1 r. n; u* N  x$ p
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。- X$ j7 C1 I* J
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）4 _  p1 z3 P. f* D$ ^
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
% }. L2 T# L' K" J" CHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
" o; E' C2 Z  W, C: Q3 VIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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) P. Y/ A3 l) w) J+ vIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。1 ~: ?. ]5 [! B' W$ T" f
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
0 i# l% |/ h1 o* PWatson: Get that out of my face.( d" {# R& _$ `2 F: ?% a- @
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.; o! j5 r8 Z2 @  B
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
$ F; V2 E0 U9 o3 [5 L路人警官Clarky上场。
' o4 b% S* x4 ~) E# J. SClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.3 `: ]' i+ Z+ }( ~4 K3 O$ G
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
" X2 y( `7 a! x' P得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
+ d* W7 j( a- s0 a) ]0 Y) y( ZWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
: m& U- s# X/ e' N! A4 {Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.2 t( r: m; d5 Z1 f1 D7 A
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+ g- c6 B0 ~, {9 W# H" L0 ?, k墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。% j; R3 s3 ]9 d) ^- ]
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
1 A0 w) t  a9 S5 ~5 M9 V; c9 UHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
/ x2 o" L. s* E: U* {Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。& d' c# w' c3 M9 X8 n% X
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）7 ?( w+ C7 J. z1 e* b1 ^
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…$ H' G0 J8 @, |' `; w- J8 M' p( l7 h6 S
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
8 x3 m9 I! L- P/ J* R死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。/ M& K9 {8 ^5 B3 `; S5 \" z% }% F
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）: d2 m* e/ m% h9 P# H
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
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: M( ]( w% r" e* H2 I警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。$ v% S& b+ @' G& ~( E% q/ H- V
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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  @7 A5 h9 |8 N+ }6 I5 S接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。  |9 V5 `9 _+ O$ R" i  F( }5 W3 ]
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
8 Z4 p3 h* ], h% FHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）7 H. ]( d9 h: T! C" c3 a" z7 }
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）/ c3 [( |, K/ N- V
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）' N0 N2 z+ U/ x0 ?
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
. Q' J0 |2 Y7 q. G1 W5 jWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）0 T6 {8 E7 e4 E# m" T2 v
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）5 z) @1 f4 _, f, s# a# p
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）  s. M# N5 k2 k
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）9 R+ P$ c7 ~5 s, J
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）% Y$ R  l# q$ |5 A
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
2 w' X6 K1 {6 Y; M$ [4 }) R（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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4 W1 u( U6 {6 L) W! I7 I( K: u总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……