《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。# B3 N" a0 E0 b0 v$ v/ e
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+ A. q$ V+ J) v3 u影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。2 S# I& k0 U* U  {
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
2 x5 W0 ~0 q4 {- a3 |Holmes: I just picked it up.
+ e8 {% Z, Q, A+ A8 ?Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
$ s, p# c' d# r8 CHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
$ B1 E# O+ _) C- ?$ kWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）' D3 Z8 \. y* c& I- o
Holmes: You did.
) `* I* m8 q8 `! s（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
7 n# r$ J" H* E2 j" m2 qHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。1 O+ i* c- P+ H
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
' V$ Y# G0 \6 h9 z; E0 c6 X/ D  ]Holmes: Granted.' c. t8 R4 v$ k
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
8 V) t& s. b8 H7 Z) v" s) V+ LWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。* U4 ^$ E0 y) J. T& J0 Z# y8 d( e
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
( u: N- b$ Z7 }' @( J9 `! c4 {. p2 YWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。* V. {7 A* z$ U; j! \
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  |, |. W& b+ F# r7 @) x$ AIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
2 k, r! k3 L6 Z（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
7 J2 a9 |3 r7 VIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
4 l) L! x( j4 z7 n5 |8 YHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）* m% @- R: K) M6 d
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope." h1 Q0 V: w! ?3 m
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。$ `0 m  V2 K/ W6 S7 Q- D
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
+ Q& J6 j' n/ P& ]+ ^7 u; pWatson: Get that out of my face., J1 ^  J  F  }* `. i1 R) r. E
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
+ N* q: X6 C& j! |Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
9 K/ l8 ]8 w8 c4 O1 l路人警官Clarky上场。
2 L+ p0 v; q: UClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
! h6 o" N4 o4 W6 g3 W7 `% v5 F, M. cHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
4 z+ i$ _+ t3 m得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
) _/ K% P, Y- ?' u. S9 I, F" XWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
! w" C: Z% q3 ^# x( e- nHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。5 I) n4 B6 w2 V; I
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）( ^* f+ K+ w; [
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.  S2 d2 l5 e2 G. @1 J& D
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）$ X+ z5 s2 \$ C  b, r" |
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/ S$ u& f. L9 q# n9 f% @+ c6 d! d; `河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
, u% w% w- t! |2 m% yHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）3 D* u$ N  k1 p7 Z
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
6 c6 |7 P% H/ {" W: @. A" w. p9 YWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
+ w" ?. a+ d# F6 F死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
( @' [& ~' }/ d! `- u; GHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）$ u2 c. K' G. g: w* o) u
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
0 p5 M0 N/ v+ m8 @1 r5 q$ o' y. QHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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  z* O) n2 q+ f8 ?! h" h) B* M警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。6 Q  b9 i$ X+ e7 Z$ Y1 n" q
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
2 x: V3 {/ _, t( ]" Z, p话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
( m- S8 ?& \0 C2 Y& jHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
9 O1 U' j( X8 cWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）' O( k) {# F! ]" j
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）% [2 H6 q# A7 s) e/ R) y2 f5 D+ Z% |
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
5 [5 o$ ?/ b0 k% UWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
0 F1 Z% N  U9 d3 b+ U& j" e1 EHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）% m( `. S' s, J
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）- u( L# v" u" j7 s* M% K( m
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）( h: z) e9 p. q6 n5 J- p
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
' E  H& s. t0 C* m8 G* b5 qMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
( P+ @* E/ M. G9 d（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）9 g2 d' l! Z; D7 m& C* X! o
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……