《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。' b4 \3 ~1 {3 C- E9 s; Z# ?9 {
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
/ m0 P; ~0 [4 d- y6 C  MHolmes: I just picked it up.* n4 }/ [5 o- Z  T
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
9 N. d# E: p  N, [# ^; I) k3 f9 GHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
* N  w" ^* F( o3 g) tWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
' S" b5 I" R6 ^* x! BHolmes: You did.
! E: u' b8 E) p% U5 b% w（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
1 ?! q) Q- Q) ^' h- aHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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% M: e: e! p( C宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。: e, [5 b1 t2 P! O, V
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
! ?7 G4 M) S: p: b5 _6 o; rHolmes: Granted.6 q) R0 m0 b) i1 z
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
' a' Q) |9 p! v$ `( ?  KWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
( s: i* o0 [5 `4 @Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）" O; c8 M8 p/ S; M4 b9 x/ P
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。5 I2 h/ F2 R9 m7 E+ z& F% s, T
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。% U% C( `5 K2 [- J
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
3 O! l7 i( z6 Y- g" d4 k& i% t1 g+ S（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
: ]$ ]2 u% h% L4 `Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?  I' x9 p; e5 J; Y* R
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）& G8 s0 H9 S+ z, q
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.% ]  Y- y- S5 z/ i: r; `* e. T( L. j
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。" U" `% f% n: N4 G1 M* Q+ A' q; g
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）! e. j# C# f; G3 J* A
Watson: Get that out of my face.
" B1 k1 G4 i1 V: fHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
( k$ }% ^* q0 t7 E9 W; TWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
: x, i  k3 [' \3 D2 l  b路人警官Clarky上场。
. A( P# V% ~2 Z  U  f3 [Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.( @  E+ U/ y2 l& X& _/ H0 A- t
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
0 a( |+ I7 m, T8 @; F7 g得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。% Q2 k+ P1 @% Z8 A2 n( l# C
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
, W8 E8 _. g$ y# b- zHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.+ e! _8 \" C, x! U
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# ^% w' i  a/ V: f5 I; F; M  j/ u2 [% `墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。% n9 u% `) Y2 {' `0 ]0 ^% Z
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）# A( x# a0 q6 _+ o
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
6 c7 I* y/ {& l, G% |2 C% _Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）/ J: S6 H5 }! J$ o8 o9 d
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* D3 P; l+ r/ |( w0 ]7 T, R0 h9 X河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
! g! C6 k, h) @$ P3 H' V  mHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
4 A7 d" v) d( cBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…6 F; k9 q! H" y
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
8 v- [  `, B, s, k0 e, S- `3 }死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
9 w( g# }  Y* T$ d7 h' J% rHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）& E* A/ Y  Z, O* J/ u) n
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
# X  r# o% L6 k, yHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）7 C3 K! j8 P9 L+ r% n6 M& Q& s" ~& _% I5 u
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。* H; z3 [' d, h
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。/ S' s, Z, X% D
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。, |4 ]' [' Q% f$ K, T+ a9 X8 M
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
6 N" M1 V' D8 U6 ZWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）8 G& b  U5 X1 F2 y
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）) s' M+ L& @/ w. {7 R* }
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?. r2 J9 V5 _% X9 Q% J: o
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
. m4 r( Q* a( _Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
) [0 f: H0 A8 n' `7 b; h& ZWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）! K5 G( I2 w/ Z7 v, j, |& r
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
* X% h0 R2 d0 Z; }8 DWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）% b. q! N" z) @- a% V
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
2 e- J" X# v1 N+ M% `- P$ i（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……