《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。6 c% ^# U; l/ ]+ {
***********: r3 c* \# h3 q5 C8 J
1．# o0 ?0 t( X' x1 }& m1 D: b2 w! l& o! b
影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
9 e3 D4 l* ?2 _. n. a8 m  H% DWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）, v1 o7 ~( j9 G) L$ f) q% B( L
Holmes: I just picked it up.5 J  N8 b4 C: H3 h
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
# R: ?6 k3 i: G+ ]8 UHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
# ?+ q8 z  Q; E7 IWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
3 I* v; }- z+ E" U* N/ _Holmes: You did.
0 p3 U, j2 e; m; U5 O（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）& W4 u) G$ @" w& M' J. }7 K6 g) U
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.: o5 q! v5 n6 L5 }) Q
2．$ ]. d0 R9 }# W1 J$ L0 j
宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
/ v6 J% M8 n- s* DWatson: Permission to enter the armory.3 ?4 P* E: |5 E; D, u5 g
Holmes: Granted.6 D0 F8 R) A$ Y* I
3.
) B: b# L: i* k! ]; f晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
5 Y; U0 y+ |" x( C& t- kWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）" o' N% F: L" e) |5 v) n$ G2 Q
4．
  z) `( r9 ]' [; G  b" d  L0 H1 ]拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
% o9 ^/ k  A+ Y( ?- C0 r# m$ `; t5．
: g( Y  v& b" X8 Y0 g+ }! `Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。- F8 l: `' [4 [
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
: \% j1 ?- t9 b6．
! g6 M; [7 P1 [4 ~Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
( r; w% K% D4 z4 `7 {4 e6 k7．
& @6 S) a( C( E* eBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。0 t/ f1 g( {+ Z6 a  p: _9 U
8．" H" v/ ~* z* ]
Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。/ s) T) L2 p: M' g; W: u
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
( A8 a  J' j( x. \  \Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
# V9 Q  F+ f4 a2 N. _* O4 m  zHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
( C3 G7 C8 t  BIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope./ }7 j* q: {# M# y. T: v
9．
( @& ]* y  b( K+ S: l6 ?5 OIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
$ F& t! |4 l5 N; e3 w( J9 J) Q/ Z8 VHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
* z3 M* c( f1 T9 l6 o  H$ @+ lWatson: Get that out of my face.7 g" u/ p/ P& @) t
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.6 M; Y0 `5 F+ g6 h* h
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.: r0 |, s7 l# K, D* y
路人警官Clarky上场。
4 u3 c- I" T' AClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.& ]5 ~$ Z0 ~- g. r0 v
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
$ `( s# H/ t8 w- T8 H8 H0 X* J2 O得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
4 S6 K- B5 U4 EWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?8 j6 T, w1 d6 e3 Y: b
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
7 |' L2 O. i5 |; j: ?; c10.
0 h1 c# y) s. ~4 f9 t0 T墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。& S7 _0 s! M7 A# l
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
" H1 E+ D  _0 J& iHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
  |' m( w3 s9 |% h- U, }; Q. NWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）/ x0 g2 G; ^1 L! n4 l% A* ?
11．
- O9 U- O; m/ ?! `. ]( a$ |! T河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。0 S: D4 ~' g& ^2 @6 J2 Y
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）# ^5 C: d- o# X. W" G7 O/ y2 V. A
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…9 F8 @0 \$ c, ?' o
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
6 @' W* S* p5 G' I9 g死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。  o' |( c$ g( M. D
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
  r" W. t0 J5 A3 B' u3 Q后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
7 p& z7 y) x7 P: L$ K2 [) `0 WHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
8 C6 t" ]4 @/ E# m. ]5 \) h* v12．2 u6 Q  N; {; `7 R
警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。. h* m, y- g- ]! {+ I% d8 p; i. z
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.3 C& R1 R! H8 G  v+ ^( o6 y
13.
5 Y; {9 }3 K% Q& k接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。+ L% B3 Z" q2 E: G
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
6 }2 [' C( y" N( mHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）; V; B' C( W/ P7 C1 C# p" Z
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）- E  M! Z1 @5 n' J9 I. Y
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）. J3 J+ e  x/ z, \* z: E: `  Q
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?' E/ x. y; y' ]& {/ @8 S
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
& U2 L) E# F) h* j3 E* R2 O- _Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）7 o/ a- L$ q  S- q& l
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
- l/ I+ ?# p  b1 i. i. C( vHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
& R; A1 p5 U' s3 ^# dWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）- Q6 C% L) f6 N
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
5 E) I7 q; O- P3 x" m（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
; F* B# P) h: E7 Q+ k: ^***********
# D& v9 j' O1 g( m/ j总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……