《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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6 H2 I, j' Y6 \影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
" ]* A0 s1 F/ h- \# p( RWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
6 P- }# y- i7 f# B& g6 P/ tHolmes: I just picked it up.
! y% }0 N! c% @8 f+ vWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）# x# }3 ]7 ]2 W! F' V, O. {
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
$ m' {6 a7 u+ s" n% \' |. t6 K0 QWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
' f  S& G: n7 m8 C6 E2 AHolmes: You did.( O3 W- J3 a$ r/ w& v5 ~
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）. Q0 n) B8 a; H
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all." s! q" o9 A5 b" W" M% T1 k1 @* r4 L
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。. H7 _; ]9 U5 a7 W, j
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
0 ]" S7 |" @4 u% |! b5 |/ YHolmes: Granted.
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( T6 Q/ C# n; u. |晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。: |9 h+ B& U5 A# u
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
$ V) p1 C2 Y7 EWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）9 ^: K- B- b; E2 c0 ?$ c+ [: g; k
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/ a- V6 C6 R( @+ AHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。0 u" G8 U2 v. a. \5 w
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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7 V; R. ~: y! YIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
  X8 Y3 C/ ?' s! n4 vHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）* B3 r' W# B/ }  t# O# }$ P" `% }  M
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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( m, \& |( f6 n  e' P5 G1 aIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。; ?. N/ a" j' s4 Z" f
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
/ D+ O  }- S; F+ X! [$ LWatson: Get that out of my face.
4 @% K1 c, s$ ~; PHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.' b8 E# L- J! {3 O
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
2 U5 C; E) |. T" {路人警官Clarky上场。
1 w' j7 W& i% g! VClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
. j8 b* S3 p) y% _1 e' HHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
4 e! E7 e# f8 G, t5 I( {5 N7 Q# z得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。" s* K# \- l: ]3 W! H* Z4 W
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
0 P+ n% U6 [( {. QHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。7 G2 ~4 h$ P0 E. V
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
* d8 \5 d2 p+ T& \Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.# ^% q6 S5 i* }1 B0 S  L" W
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
$ D1 N( p! c/ L9 q. M0 [/ ?% FHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
& m$ O) A4 s, r9 B4 d% x! Y7 @Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…( a' ?5 E4 A( W. b2 [! w2 Y7 c4 H& t
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）! n! V& H+ j1 o& k
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
( W; B  W* X' M: ]Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
/ `& ^. i' p: B1 u% J! K6 r& E后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
- u4 D+ _5 r4 r  sHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）! ~8 R3 Y$ b9 j
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" f4 }" N6 h/ y, g警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
2 \& a  B, L) {3 W) pLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing." K! L  i+ W. O& A9 E5 i4 _
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
# C2 {$ M# H2 D话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。8 A7 c  t% A9 \& T. ^, R
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）6 l5 j4 |. I+ h4 w6 D* @
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
% F5 a) I6 c' z$ G* }2 I& u8 \Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）* ~: a; t% k# C: ~1 W2 x
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?3 ~3 k0 u# p2 f5 x
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
4 n  {- v( ?' r+ s( j; X% {Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）  I# e2 g& ?7 n, ]
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）' m" u% _( R: B+ m1 G. V8 Z/ l. r& ]
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
& t' F) f3 v( [5 x6 PWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）) a) q' H0 B4 z( L* a2 A
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）( i$ H9 ]; n1 ~; m5 N
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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5 [( `9 W7 O4 }, g# ]& P! ?# d总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……