 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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$ S- i) `6 B) Q9 }影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 ' G: u2 g5 |* Y, m7 [, ^1 N
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
! x4 T& [ [+ mHolmes: I just picked it up.& g% Y& m% j( p. N: U( m4 A0 b
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) - v: f- s7 r) J8 x, Y5 d w
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.2 p$ n+ x( V" M3 }" k. W
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
6 y" u& L$ ^, \* {7 d: H4 FHolmes: You did.+ J5 {! O. ]: I* C+ [
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) / M f$ D) I9 E* ^4 q5 @* H
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
& w: d2 d g8 U' U, sWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
8 X0 \! C' x/ P: R( F: K: {* b& ZHolmes: Granted.& N3 X/ j% L( x G( \7 y: r
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9 V- q8 _' s* ^8 K晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 7 Z" k: o/ Z! E( [2 J3 z
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 0 s9 M( B; G; j' E* @& q3 g
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 ) Z+ F- [8 R& e
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 6 z4 b. @$ k/ P2 s$ z1 f
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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- Q+ ~. T7 \9 y7 V9 KHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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8 v. \, S/ ~+ S6 ?$ P9 FBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 ( Y6 D! ~/ ?6 s8 f- x
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 ! W) w6 o/ {% w8 G0 K( h2 T7 v1 r
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) & t# c$ W' o! q: ?
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?& v6 D" ]) m3 i1 e9 O" x
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) ! L' b5 A& c' X
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.. ?0 Z# g1 C2 l8 a( j _0 B% j
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 ' r4 f5 V, W6 \+ Z. x
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) ! _, x; R* z! L6 Q6 |7 y0 G
Watson: Get that out of my face.; W0 ?5 {/ ]/ x: ?. H4 \/ ]
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand." f) Y5 {- F* P! u, e0 n( E: C1 D( z
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
2 e) Z3 l# C, W* n8 V1 l) J路人警官 Clarky上场。
; Q' `& _% H# z3 K; s: `9 v3 L/ Z+ ^Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.) p3 E q6 [4 q( l Y
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) 6 y. |1 @# L7 U" }3 Z. M) E
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
5 l; j0 ^& I+ W1 ]' d5 ?7 L4 kWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
; t, r& Y! ?0 Y, r, C0 `Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.3 @- L" k2 [/ M; R. D
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7 D5 d! o0 B- N6 J% _5 W墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
, B5 ^: Y3 a$ i5 y3 d s' b( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) * Y: w6 Y- P8 _1 _' C9 k. j$ o
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.9 r. U0 e4 L* R' u1 w
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) $ H& y- }, v* n0 ?
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0 c- C+ j7 f* U" _: R$ e7 s5 |河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
! q- @) V% v" H7 I, L/ EHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
" [2 I! X9 G! l2 PBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…1 k* D& ]% _+ F9 M5 E
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) * i- d6 f9 o8 c; l m( Y# N! W- b
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 * ^; D% n6 i2 f8 N) F. t
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
6 z1 t8 c3 \) |' S- I% O后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 & f# j% \; P# @; x& F
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) , x9 s" _6 A- A
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/ i) y4 v$ b% O2 z9 V警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
1 I% O6 U# a8 a4 pLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 % B. |! W9 B+ `) F7 N3 {6 Z! ]
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 5 D- D1 ^) n( G
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
: j4 O v$ s5 \Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) % f' B6 |& f; N, T6 _5 H
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
$ h- t6 a8 g0 m) `) `) R) m" fMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?5 d4 @. @" b% C0 N& l7 A
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) / T$ m0 K- }# \' }0 P, t9 E
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) % s: J" m, U1 S: H5 W# }, v$ C' ^; i4 J
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 3 B7 }' h A( {# E
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
- c& b0 r* n9 x, W: \1 t7 {: ZWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) $ Y2 B0 ~) ]+ s& O, o# E* _3 Q
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
2 |8 {' J# O) v. e( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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4 j8 R" I: L/ X5 e总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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