 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
' J* c0 Z4 P$ {8 t2 {" s% }Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
; h" F$ X' a# q; dHolmes: I just picked it up. p6 J" H! v6 O) o- S! g$ B
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
: k2 \9 T% p h1 |7 c1 n( fHolmes: Knew I forgot something.3 g# a- j7 X# H0 x
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
. K( X- R" w3 dHolmes: You did.
3 z" e) K- `# i0 u& t(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) ( d/ n6 h/ I$ `2 s7 M/ [* c
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
8 g# ^. @; `4 k! z, rWatson: Permission to enter the armory.6 H9 ?$ T, x% j7 {$ }% q& G
Holmes: Granted.$ E% l2 H/ u ]
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! j# _/ P1 f, Q' N- l晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
, u& r1 U. x4 b3 Y! _* EWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 0 Z5 X5 t4 M4 A! a. v
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% B# P3 c# D& t7 O, S2 u/ N拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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+ C5 a3 z- q# r1 a ?: P; l/ dWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
& ]6 i% \4 C/ X) e7 x( @Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) $ u& h9 N3 s8 I; S2 J
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2 r3 D( C+ z+ n9 S& I; sHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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0 {& N( O+ I/ `9 c- \8 c( uBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
: \. [/ f5 T+ j6 u' o( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 5 l2 p! e( `# Y, O; {( j
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
6 P( K- z/ N, o y6 P! K- C1 EHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) ( j. V! |( L. w* W4 e
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.5 K. T/ n1 f1 K( S' N5 }$ z+ x
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 # D& O- Y1 Z, Z! Q3 s
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
9 C2 Z' Q2 X1 Y* w7 B1 HWatson: Get that out of my face.
, E/ n" u/ B+ c# ]Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.. k5 B; H$ \- z4 S- X+ w0 S- W
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.: J& B6 m" l& U( a+ d1 T) `' L
路人警官 Clarky上场。
& q+ y- |# F2 rClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
! f. |: }( w) vHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
^- Y1 r2 V# Y3 E. j3 d得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
. w2 W' \. T7 @Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
" v" t. b: w+ O8 [& S2 O6 zHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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! e, g" X4 p' K1 |: q. N墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
' ]+ v" S& Y( U D& L( R( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
' F8 X2 R p; ~5 i# m& q: I( gHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
! u3 U2 k4 h# y0 b/ q |* o" qWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
% n8 r% e8 a2 W c/ I f5 ZHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 4 F0 j% O; V$ U; A2 H. `7 F% e
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…6 P% j! |1 |6 H# c' Q( o* V
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 2 x, o. {4 m b A3 ^6 M4 j/ o
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
$ b7 K3 {) J3 xHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) 7 N; _6 r) h- t' {6 r& M
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 9 H. `/ S$ h3 o" q+ i# {
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) ; }0 A \0 v; G' H1 ^/ N& T
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
4 f! X4 d0 U2 Y2 s% QLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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% W8 ~: [' d, `$ x' \' C% U1 C接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 # o" x( g/ E- w$ ^7 L4 [6 r
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
: x ?7 {* d7 U5 v CHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) ; b7 t9 f+ U2 v4 r. c% A- W
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) ( G' d8 X `4 e7 P9 I/ p# _; U3 J
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
% p; N! M+ W) d4 I5 ~6 J( A5 yMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?2 E0 r4 Y$ f# n) U6 P
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) + u4 Z) f) s2 I
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) . r% m' N/ s- r( F3 W; H
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
. a* w9 q; b }' ]Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
8 |" a9 M$ A7 m& JWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) 7 j6 }% X+ x2 v- ^1 U$ ]( c
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) . W. f, U9 u' h/ S/ H; r* S- U# Z
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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( w/ m% ^8 M' e总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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