《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
0 T' r% b& r" a" W6 \Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
' {  L. c4 v. J- P8 b) UHolmes: I just picked it up.  C* W. H7 P+ r7 S4 G9 h+ u! f
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）, D+ I% j+ N6 ], T8 s
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
1 z6 p, S9 S% p3 V3 pWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）2 E0 L- s  Q$ }' G1 ?/ P) O
Holmes: You did.% H% l4 X# C- _& s7 J
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）4 A+ |" l) {/ @/ B0 ?
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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  P( P6 e" x5 |4 w0 B. l7 X' B宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。  t3 h# H) C7 G3 ~+ T
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.0 o" z) p5 x; k
Holmes: Granted.$ m1 M/ C7 d$ m/ ?' J0 a  A/ p) C
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3 v: @% p  K, {晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。* F3 S, u6 L& i" ?- y( y5 b1 I
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）2 [; p5 j( |; z( |& [8 b6 b3 f$ w
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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. W6 T! I' H4 @Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
' F  H: _& {7 GWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）9 F8 q; q$ \; n
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。+ E; L6 y  ?5 Y" M$ C
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。& B0 {* G" z: b6 l0 v8 x9 n6 G6 ?
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）. g3 X7 c- ?4 z. j. }
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?5 Q% }/ }6 T4 V$ y$ W8 c
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
. N% H5 h) s& z" p& v: w1 bIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。: X: a( h& t8 N' o1 T
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
- }7 s! ^5 G8 H: q+ H" qWatson: Get that out of my face.! ~. G+ |3 h# u) U+ H
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
& r, m" k4 K6 R3 x2 b* @Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
" R7 ?3 s! u% r# h3 q路人警官Clarky上场。
2 i7 W4 Q" ]0 SClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.  M$ ^7 o$ E, J& |: k6 t- z( U# T, ~
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）8 d4 `* G6 G, S  ^9 n0 l4 U
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。- Z0 Z" v9 B; R, r8 L$ `. p* O
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?* w9 p! C; _9 I9 c
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。, o2 u) V+ k6 K% j' H# D7 l" s+ ]
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）& ~. A% _4 d& ^
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.6 r  ^% P$ H0 B- b: A* C5 Z" T
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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! b0 _# c+ |) I. F9 B河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。, D/ f3 p$ Z* z5 ?4 W( ?" B
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）8 A# {6 j' b- S
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
: J8 Z# {+ o0 v. ~3 ?- MWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）& {, E; ?) v2 f! }+ j( n
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
) o: g/ n- R& S" b! W1 `8 i9 ^Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
* m6 E3 _" C0 _6 T# P3 f9 @$ d: u: Y后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。* N. U* }# z8 I: V
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
8 s6 f6 H7 q, [Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.5 x, g5 C3 f* {. I  ?7 F
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- V4 l; Q7 g5 a) V2 Q' d! N9 U' C接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。. R/ o4 ~  f, T7 {, }( n! U3 O/ U+ r% C
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
* v0 m7 B) V$ L5 j7 b7 s6 ~Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
2 i$ k. I4 `4 w/ d0 [; FWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）8 M* `& M8 y  W- E. M
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
" [) j1 u3 K/ m6 l. hMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?0 o) n0 Z$ ?8 e2 G  b' k
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
5 ?# e4 W& c6 O! ~3 NHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
# m3 R$ W6 l( C5 GWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）1 ^+ T  }0 Y* T- }8 P: J9 J
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
: o' A2 _! V1 H  M; _4 eWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）% q$ Y( P( `. l% S5 ~" O
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）) r1 a/ o' r7 S; _" Q5 F
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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9 n- {, N% A; _8 m3 V5 \/ Q6 ~" ~总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……