《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。7 g. q$ }" Q, p& D+ h5 G+ {
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。. s; z$ [8 f7 g, V# |
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）% U9 O* N/ y8 X, N* H- X! w+ D  f
Holmes: I just picked it up.- K! O: x$ h. I) Q& }+ b, Z  O0 K
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）1 [5 ^+ O8 z2 Z2 v9 z/ w! y# W, `
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
! b2 a2 P" |4 ]+ p: q6 J) Z/ HWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）0 Q) R  u) C- U/ C
Holmes: You did." N# q, l! Y" Y  v$ E
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
% ]! R# t' X3 f4 \. g" MHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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1 v. X" T& h! A: C4 z宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。4 S# Y: i& G5 U4 s, u9 k7 M
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.2 e6 ^4 ~: {6 |! _  e* N
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。$ T0 N- d$ ~% t
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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5 i0 u4 g2 Y/ |) S3 I! N拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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1 v5 u' |; b& U% }# D1 n1 o% LWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。5 O$ R" ^- I7 o4 M6 N1 q# f2 d: x
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。/ ^/ g) }5 e( I
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
: f$ ~; I6 ?* V（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）! f& W6 Z, U( A. y4 f( o" l
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?4 v& C- @; b) r+ F
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
! g3 s4 ~1 P' D. t' }" Y5 CIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.2 _# h' J) b4 g# l+ l' `/ n' d5 _+ |
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6 O+ d) ]$ m/ ^5 AIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
9 ~) T7 m) w% J; ZHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
& Y. y, c# g0 k' WWatson: Get that out of my face.9 A. V9 Z4 `# L1 E4 s
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand., d0 a/ _: F' K2 v/ z* T
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
6 V# q' g9 |) Y4 V, ]& U* l; s路人警官Clarky上场。
6 }- w3 S' |4 s& P8 B1 `) HClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
& m; J9 q9 R! y  |3 G& bHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
* ^6 N' a$ g( [5 i, i- q' b得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
4 c9 ~& z. x/ o" b3 r/ Q& l2 ZWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?" m' u# w8 c$ S# ]5 j1 m
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not., u+ g$ k: o# w6 q! Y
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。7 R% U5 W; s% B
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
; Q7 _- L  o; ]  rHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
/ m  ~" D  N/ x( t; Z) G  b! P3 vWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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3 [2 }, o5 U7 ]! w4 S2 @河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。7 m  g$ Q1 |; i6 s% i; j
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
% p0 Q2 f) d$ w8 D1 NBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…! Z( [$ S6 a; M
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）8 P0 d4 S+ ~6 V" M9 x6 j, K# C9 r
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
9 E0 u& O$ a8 y% t; D4 W, Q3 D5 dHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
) R  P! A" i& x) O4 \( ^后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
9 B# ^6 Y; e: l& WHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）& O+ X) w) }0 r, q; ~6 G( t
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
* q% F1 y  q$ S, K2 k1 n  qLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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. G; P% Q' V1 M1 S$ ?接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
% B5 s- O# o6 y3 q: o/ O% I话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。' D( G+ A1 i. G
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）( v. Q7 A4 @5 {" O0 i
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
8 J" E' K/ c2 \8 O- h! y6 QHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
0 Y5 j1 i/ [- ]- b% \Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?8 ^& u/ Y" t& Z( N7 @0 F& N
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
$ L, v/ Z0 _9 E% @Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）: w+ n9 j2 a" ?9 E1 `( E! R9 A1 o
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）  T$ Z  @9 w* E* k" N. ?
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）/ A5 t1 u3 a6 W5 d
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
# I% @( a: B8 V1 J/ \Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）; e( P  e! J) d6 a
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）5 {( ?) b; S2 {! \9 `+ M2 Q
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……