 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
! l7 }# k% I( @( e$ |Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) / C* M) F3 x( t2 U6 W! r" A3 c/ m# W
Holmes: I just picked it up.7 J; X$ H5 [$ h/ O8 N
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
7 l/ @( C- T" ?2 F" P! z& OHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
# J' m4 M( H' OWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
. v3 a& N& w6 S5 ^. G$ P. XHolmes: You did.5 \3 t' a: Q/ A: H
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) . E% X F$ w( F7 F* J5 v
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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) H5 V8 X; v& G宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
" o! H- [# P$ p) d- Z$ MWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
H7 a8 k! ]* P- O& JHolmes: Granted.0 ]% d; ~, d6 g$ P8 v* w( ]0 @
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
+ E% V1 i# {: r0 JWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) ( q: F; }+ L) k
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- {& Z4 {" z$ a拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 ) } y4 | u; L9 e- y' c0 T; |4 p! D0 S
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) I# V4 {' Q4 @& K6 S; G2 wWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 , {/ ^7 s+ ?. e
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) ! \& k5 r' V1 J0 Z/ D
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% R2 M% x p' j7 H4 tHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 ; b5 ]8 R4 C. Q6 h
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 & D% D' }0 ^3 A" J* r
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 2 H9 W o P. H. ?5 P9 ]0 F' c
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?) N8 n1 y9 p( ?% p
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
( a3 J6 F7 D0 C# z8 BIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 6 h7 z* d& U/ H4 X( T! o
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
4 |9 Q- }; O0 ~1 \- PWatson: Get that out of my face.
6 o: r! C- y0 ^) uHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
& t, D6 i5 \% w9 I/ }Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
( l/ r9 n" ~* ~3 B路人警官 Clarky上场。
) s/ H. L8 f5 @2 c2 nClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once./ P% J3 ^6 c2 Z! g5 f& P
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) ; F: t4 I* Q- |3 ^/ `4 X; }
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 3 i9 q/ P D' A* Q# \
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?* I) n) F, K ^0 U! ~0 T% e9 E
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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9 ^% l. s; N. ~8 B6 Q墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
3 {( I( @( x7 @+ @( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) & M6 G. Q# I; R# b) Q
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.4 j' o7 R9 E! t$ G
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) 5 d1 _* v. ^' ~/ Q' r
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7 V# y: \+ l+ v8 m* S" D( g6 Z河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
, Z& l% q5 g6 L T* M6 n3 IHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
+ ^) i$ S1 S( L& P( f+ eBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
; S. _% C& ]' }) ]7 sWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
) y/ X" }! v# ]" d6 X3 C死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
% b9 |9 a$ p0 qHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
5 |2 s% b9 l' L% y2 W! l后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 l4 r3 }3 H# ^" T r
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) . V" h/ b4 ]3 l9 a
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
4 b/ v5 B: o6 T [! p9 BLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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! `# [3 _: e& h. Y2 @9 S* w9 K接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 : c4 r" {! z! m0 }
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 ; [' D7 Z' D, `4 I B: F
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
) W. J- Y; [+ O' KWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
! }# I# Z4 ?1 A) [Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
$ V; }* z5 Y0 Q( |! B. [Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?- C2 |7 v9 r0 ~
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
7 V5 A% M! a9 o# D1 S0 W; xHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 9 B) _# Y ?* I/ N3 _
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
8 u4 k2 o, H9 M9 S2 OHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) 3 L' [# ~$ P* w8 ^9 M1 f
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) $ T! |( g# `+ d. r
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
5 Z8 t; p) C7 c% R& \7 i1 k7 |( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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