《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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" {6 s5 N/ z( e影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。, |+ E! Y2 @6 ?, U  x8 |7 E- i% w; r
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
# W- z# e0 n, l2 xHolmes: I just picked it up.7 ~% Y' n" y- D; X  A7 r  |' j
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）6 e. d2 O9 ^2 u; v8 b
Holmes: Knew I forgot something." u# w. K0 D: \0 o, x6 H" \
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）  Y7 p* S! p- s! `) Q
Holmes: You did.
4 y, |$ Z1 k3 r7 ^5 X# f（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）! f6 C$ h8 v/ u: U# P
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.4 c/ [) I" Y) d% V3 y
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
& v7 m, H+ x4 Y: r% BWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
0 U0 x: s4 q- r$ v( Q8 B! f$ Q- u" gHolmes: Granted.7 l5 q8 r& Q6 ~. {
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" [: Q- \8 O  q' f' c3 e" t晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。  U$ S4 `( d* W; J4 [: U  y( S
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）0 c* }: e1 J5 d
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& L9 s" v5 Z& m' B  w- m拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
" Z! y3 h3 p0 N5 ]% O/ bWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）+ i; n9 y4 k/ N- E
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。6 n4 X6 d* x) S  n2 D! ~
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! x1 ?8 Y$ K' m* r6 b9 \Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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. g1 ]% V5 L) n9 NIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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- V. |/ t: y1 U1 B, JIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?' ^/ N) }: R5 i) Y* e
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）% X3 y2 a+ B9 L! Q% ?( s' p
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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% h3 g( @; L1 ]  k6 oIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。* y/ D: r1 e! D
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
, I: `! g" D: d: U" LWatson: Get that out of my face.+ a* P& G* @9 Y& g1 ~# X3 v2 r' v
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.1 b# |  q* Q) [5 g
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
$ f/ b  g0 I/ O0 l" O6 H$ g路人警官Clarky上场。
: P: Z, e2 ~, t) \6 vClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.$ Q7 Z* S) b0 x* q6 O2 W
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）, p6 H8 R& z1 q" L- C9 R- {
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
/ D# s) _/ W' K! |6 N6 u; [Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?2 t4 s1 h! W! r, Z& u8 K& |4 p
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.1 K# x7 J9 b) Z9 P6 g( b8 h
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' e8 I% C8 [: h, I' T/ Q墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。/ Q! P+ X% u+ T: d$ `; N
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）( ^0 J  a5 e$ x; F+ ~' L8 b
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.' u9 q5 M+ K. B
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）. y- X! t! I: h& D
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
2 j% w3 H: |# j5 xHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）& v5 i  r7 t7 _
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
* v+ h; r1 D& S$ C8 k0 `Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）5 B/ G$ L; ^' ]. C7 a4 s% j
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。* j9 d" X1 C+ Q; k3 N* G$ P' p' ^
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
/ |: Q* i( p1 U8 p后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。- q. W* K  C: w
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）: Z/ v4 X6 i0 W
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
( y$ v) V: X; P1 X' }( g  ]7 KLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.  j1 W0 e( V9 G
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% ^  q5 B" y" T9 T1 Y接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。1 o" b: k- q3 ^% n& m
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
& c: ~9 O" I" eHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）. f2 s: K2 D  \  z1 u( J' L) g  y
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）9 u; {7 L: c! `( M8 Z
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）. Q- F4 L" g3 Z- y: x. l+ N5 A
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?7 u/ K8 J/ y5 B0 S! B6 n/ {
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）0 w' U4 R  u8 x  A
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）7 U1 T  |9 P% [, X( O) l) P
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
9 F( m1 @' `8 S/ yHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）" V0 ?( H7 W8 R5 ]1 y
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
( k% T& Y. |9 ~1 x% g+ q+ k- IMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）; G# n3 O2 G; s' [
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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  o! k2 `6 ]. V& ]总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……