《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。" U4 Q! l3 Q3 T4 e" S* G- l
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1 d6 d2 @7 c' y; ^, {" D2 }# n影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。$ f: g! B  l+ p3 c" }" x
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
, D- g. v0 L% g1 D! {* lHolmes: I just picked it up.& r, [; G) A8 w6 j: z  F
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）9 M8 W! G4 Q/ ?3 V
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.8 m; D( |" ^! b- ]
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
% l& [9 g0 r0 }3 aHolmes: You did.
$ v6 g& r0 K/ m9 _' o, [  w0 n: @* R（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）9 A# F$ a! C+ o7 ]: x
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.: s5 B. g/ V. E# f# u% |( q
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。* W: ^6 y7 I) J1 E
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.1 @; l1 o5 s3 s, F
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
2 W8 ?8 b9 C1 q4 o1 d( }  FWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）8 k" Z* \. |# a' f2 Y' a' I. o" B
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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# I; K  Y1 z" `& \4 OWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
5 j: y% o3 N3 P* \, eWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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+ \. K0 D7 {( r( `# LHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。( B) f6 y2 H( @' G7 o/ i- q
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。3 k0 t1 H# g& N1 b$ v9 \5 S9 J
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。6 O/ P+ e+ b1 o  E: G$ _* W5 ]
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
* X8 R, k( p; K& YIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?. s/ h: q1 A9 w; F' f
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）5 b" Z  d1 K& l4 e# b
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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8 t+ _5 R+ W" \$ H2 K7 m7 PIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
# Y/ F8 v( ^  h% hHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）/ d8 C9 k; ?, I' u# G2 f' F
Watson: Get that out of my face.6 j  W5 }$ X/ D* Q9 e( @, N# y
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.* ]# J; A5 e0 N+ C0 z
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
$ R8 b9 U5 D4 C" o7 x' B路人警官Clarky上场。
' S4 V1 X$ i/ D1 WClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once., ~; U) L. M/ s- n1 Z) W/ [/ J/ S
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
* w- W  X0 n, H0 u* ?% ]得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
; E/ ~$ o8 k1 rWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?, r; t# s' ?3 x0 w7 |* `, q
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.  f, h2 F# S7 R. `/ M, [
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
# m6 Z$ x' j% a（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）# R- ^( r/ n5 @) l2 a; E
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.& c1 N7 A( J, J+ t: Z/ k6 i
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）) z& `( J  o$ S, U: j
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8 o  O8 U* H1 Q( u' }8 |1 b河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。* Z  ^, P  S0 a
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
1 d7 n% A  w, i5 F& f) J- |Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
  h) v. Q  Z) _1 U$ |" M  HWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
' |3 @) P: E: O* J死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
9 S: b' |! f; v2 QHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）) p6 W9 H0 V, W2 m" G4 E* Q( G
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
! s6 J5 M: O. k" Z8 `# m7 CHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）. |) S& N/ q$ i, n9 M/ i9 H
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。) s  P* H+ m- o- Y% S5 n
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
0 m/ S) n0 k9 d- H话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
& ^" A: M- n# n7 iHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
" l9 d2 M# q, \9 V5 EWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
  [/ W0 J) Q5 K/ P+ \Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
% ]- T( `& n0 l/ R6 ^; HMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?/ T  R8 \( t1 o. p, A% H
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）3 h: ~2 X) }  ~; c) l
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）3 A* \* N# c* ?0 a
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）/ Z: x0 i. d( `, V) Z
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）# ?$ K# N/ P- d* j
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
9 ]) y7 |0 C! l1 |" T3 H/ m8 DMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
9 U- K" l* f5 X（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）- J' R! q1 B5 g' `. o+ b
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, A7 r, U. a. C总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……