《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。( g8 y. d! b2 ~9 H. B7 N* d
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
9 S: I$ a1 a- ?9 H( v# Y/ IHolmes: I just picked it up.7 a' i* V( l, V
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）- p% S, }. {6 |3 t% a" j% A3 d
Holmes: Knew I forgot something." K2 K) J0 B  I) [% W+ E, h( E
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
4 m. {% [: x3 ?9 tHolmes: You did.
6 K4 r+ h% t& ?7 }+ S（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
/ u. H0 o# L- e+ tHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.# b) H5 y7 x8 K0 {- c0 g+ A$ q
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' _* Y' `- X/ R0 ^# B/ i宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。: Y* }7 {' z1 c2 N- M
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
4 C* ^7 ?, b( t8 E+ Y& g- r2 ?3 g1 J  aHolmes: Granted.) C. }# O4 ?+ X! m# _& @
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& i" p" R$ _9 K/ \% P7 F6 z晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
2 T0 D" V' P# C% c0 P2 C0 fWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）2 k& S9 Q" B; p' R- x. n
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。& n7 j9 R3 [! a" v- H, T+ y
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）/ G4 S: k5 H. k1 O* d% [8 k* O5 i
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) K' o: K( D; a' @0 w; {3 Z! X/ ]Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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' }, G/ x3 ]+ C& CBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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) R' Z' b8 x6 `8 s# L6 h( xIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
: h# M" E% ]" xHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）) O0 y' v, s# t2 k" o* H3 }
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.5 w& j/ G# N4 K' I) F3 z
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; M; q+ G* M/ y- l& B5 eIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。/ F7 N0 k3 }8 t6 G4 Y8 }: |
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）3 R9 G, p% U7 m8 q% f- t% v5 ?3 O
Watson: Get that out of my face.
1 K- n* Q2 T, bHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.% ?; s6 j$ G, |
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.7 g4 [$ i2 Y+ Y" ~1 e: J+ U! g( y7 j
路人警官Clarky上场。" W$ z7 ]: ]1 k4 d
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
7 `5 f3 A8 v/ p. d: k2 Z. `5 O$ ]Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
5 h' P- K; \% V得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。1 W- S/ J; C. z0 R" X) ?
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
- J0 c. o. j2 [2 V0 `0 |, u- xHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.! z8 i0 y9 O0 ^: a' e
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
' q9 v9 U; O/ g$ H- m9 D# J（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）0 }( y2 l+ o: @
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.+ V3 C6 l3 h' u4 O1 g: z
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
& Z, P8 N/ [- \! g( v, Q4 YHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）0 _/ U$ C; m7 M0 [* o( ?( z
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…0 K1 H* X' z2 z) D
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）8 [* n  I7 i4 V; g
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。5 [7 N! O$ v5 C, m
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）8 O1 P. A( _# Y+ P
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
  @2 G- m: I  T+ d: e( [. bHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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* H+ k$ T1 G4 Q* V6 Z- O警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
0 m$ }  d" ^( j, ULestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.  m0 ?- i, Z( Q. F1 I2 a  ~* x( L
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5 {5 r( z9 |0 L. |( k8 o接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。$ y/ C  t; R# S" N2 L# q/ a8 q3 H
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。) g6 M1 y  b4 [+ [+ D% c
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
) E  D% W' Q9 r, ~8 Y& WWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
! M/ T: p- \5 j7 I# T+ c# XHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
* u6 R7 z6 s; I5 WMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?4 }$ w9 A2 |4 g% m2 U. `9 {
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）1 {( D6 c% a& b' O2 n
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）1 @7 e0 U) h2 _0 ]2 s
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
$ T0 h( D7 u' w" `Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
- Q, q3 R5 {) B$ A, K. ]Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）! w# y$ X% N$ l6 M: L" k) K
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）- `/ \2 L/ |5 u1 A/ B9 ^
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）& t9 P6 e/ o* x9 x* B
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……