 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
2 W2 A( R+ x3 `8 ^Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
?6 Y# n+ Y) M9 z6 S1 I& n& w0 HHolmes: I just picked it up.. `- C9 Y0 ?2 |+ X/ C
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
4 u5 g4 A, [- t3 R) S y5 IHolmes: Knew I forgot something.' E. ~" {1 Y7 u# d2 M/ K7 D
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) 7 @8 |+ R5 D' G) C8 c# ~, ~
Holmes: You did.
8 V) E k" N9 n8 L, v @1 j" _(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
) T1 b1 |$ [$ S9 [# GHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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7 c; H* O" h6 [/ ?" }, ^宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
% i, i/ g$ E+ n! w1 q) t9 JWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
$ @0 H$ M1 _) r$ m6 L$ g2 h# |- @Holmes: Granted.: `& A* m# j2 }- w# g6 a4 P
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 + D0 r) H# W+ v: Z5 s
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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& y( k* Y& p( {4 }2 S R# ^9 A# r拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 $ t4 e; v. e" A8 D) I
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
5 R" Q0 q4 |8 A9 Q7 hWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) ( r3 ?/ @8 j6 {: n
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 ' r& [- S' n4 |6 t% c
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 / q1 }' O. [/ ?: ]
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
4 p/ z" ]0 c1 ?9 [+ K( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) / I/ Z c" t/ H7 I9 _- `
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
7 p* p4 O- y3 A3 u2 H0 U/ ]4 f2 X7 `Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
( c$ L0 z& N( U, a6 D; ^; _Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.2 s5 I4 R2 R8 B! P# D& j& E \
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
& g6 H% @+ s0 m1 |/ r/ KHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
6 n1 F% A3 d. k) R K) rWatson: Get that out of my face.7 Q- v; H, J! B8 j
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.6 V2 ?" t4 _$ x+ B% L
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.7 }3 V3 A) L6 J) O4 W- Q" E ~
路人警官 Clarky上场。 & ?5 r. l; k2 u) D! w& p* W" E( e
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
^2 E; ?5 n8 w# D8 b9 P, GHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) / f, z. M3 _& Z; m! b5 _9 F) S; d! H
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 W6 W, o- P3 i
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
; s+ l: C+ q4 Y1 I# }/ [" CHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.. q! \7 m" u$ [; Z" d5 b
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& r+ T, m! w+ e0 W0 ^8 w% S墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
& O: g* [) G- j$ d, K( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 4 _# W( c8 g: k
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
% T2 V5 C# S. ~! l; k- ]+ wWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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5 I( q/ u g# z% c& X- P河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 , Q9 h K" w. N' O4 J& D8 @
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 1 ]" Y1 J7 [0 z& ?2 Z) L
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
$ S& m2 N( o. OWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) * x* {. T0 a3 z" |+ q
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 0 I/ K& i4 P+ Q( q u1 ]& @% q
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
2 P! U$ ^# |+ u' s% g) \, d后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 6 J/ _+ a% V% W: e: A7 u6 w* @
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
4 N6 m2 X" e9 WLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.% s/ G- B$ p3 ~
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 # K- M/ D( Q6 I0 l' `
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
& S% j' }" a" M. H; ~( D1 E- bHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 4 ?; R$ b% c: s( h5 E9 f" i
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 9 ^+ S6 y3 u9 K, E0 Q0 X8 R6 j
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 8 p2 I& S: d) {/ f2 C5 b6 N2 s
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
6 @8 A, Y! n# g: y6 A" ?; iWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) + m/ [7 Y- c9 Y/ p
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) . x. \7 P8 ?; P4 W8 p. R
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 3 a8 R6 I6 K% C
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) 8 ], t9 O) ?+ c( o" Y1 `
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) n: k) U! C5 M# g' b0 z( W
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) + w% z, i+ |" B6 O8 o9 O# ^
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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