 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
; j% a( m! {3 ZWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) 5 _3 b; ?, ^; W
Holmes: I just picked it up. l; V) u/ r2 x, s) l3 C- @% W
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
* z, p7 n0 O4 _4 f7 Q6 f# YHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
" [- @4 V$ I- ~Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) 1 A! a" \* u: x% A' U7 c
Holmes: You did.
; J% O% Z) h# R( e$ [2 W(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) ; o/ z8 ~! D9 L
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
E' g- I2 H ~; pWatson: Permission to enter the armory.$ z6 @4 Q- ]$ v
Holmes: Granted.$ {$ q' t. v k: k
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
( e# Y- L" t$ `# O2 I( _Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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1 v# C' G! W# ^7 [拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 ) T' t$ c$ A7 Z2 q) x
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4 R* z- X8 v- n2 r7 x' CWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 $ N; ?- i( S0 s, M7 q8 b# q% n, U
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) ! h3 w" ]/ c$ ?
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 ! K" w6 B, t) F! |- ~
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) e: z9 D$ o( f9 r# A1 F2 FBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
& p0 M0 Q" }1 t! `" A+ A7 i: O( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
' c. k* R; Y2 j7 hIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
. }9 Q% F' E! I2 aHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
# e: \! P+ w# @, v3 e0 h3 hIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.3 l$ _9 ]6 a$ g" N# ^$ K1 H I+ }
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. [* |7 n7 o/ I6 [4 EIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 $ u% N2 y4 ^/ o
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
* ^; L; i+ D/ v0 L0 CWatson: Get that out of my face.
) \3 F6 `7 w) f/ ]9 G7 }' WHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.# J/ E; T+ {: b+ C3 Q4 R9 F
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
* G- J# d: g, n! b) o! y路人警官 Clarky上场。
: l! ^ ?0 }! C) l8 t* I+ ~% w' eClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once./ L7 K) n! o, {. g k" x
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
# C. c6 g! Z5 T* E# V& o" ~得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
3 n9 U6 D& c) b, [( JWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
" L6 l z; r+ s! b2 P3 l7 dHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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/ T! T( k* a) b1 W墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 ( L/ s- t$ |$ Q7 \
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
" e6 ]( o. r* x1 n2 k% rHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
* z3 v2 a% h' C1 g& XWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) " c: i8 x4 [& D \. S$ R7 q
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 1 ^9 c' D3 @4 z
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) e" E7 D. u& P j+ l/ J* v/ O1 D6 z
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…1 H0 r$ j2 A- K8 p7 u; e
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) : ^% A% i1 Q& M0 N
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 + q$ B# `0 `5 J7 L8 U
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
- X# |+ M$ K% }1 e3 v- t后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 ; H( s0 q0 t) C, N8 Y4 l
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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" c9 h2 D! _) [! Z警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 + r: M4 ^) F; D% y
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 3 r3 \; w9 z) a5 s" ?9 ~+ N
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
& d" v) p6 v8 y- e! a% }: [ r! }' vHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 1 M0 O: \, \5 ?: Z( @
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 3 L+ _6 H! v* Q- V& b
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) / p1 v* x' d) U
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
) [4 h/ ]# ?- vWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
! N- I* x% p" K9 @; V- jHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
4 j" l( T, g& R( \ j" ~7 ~9 KWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) ' F, A' T- E" z% I% S+ A
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
& _8 L( c! W5 @0 g0 WWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
+ V3 r G g5 Z3 X3 I* B3 XMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) Z& F5 y0 {$ x' s; m( U; `" S
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) + `5 O4 E6 _3 C. @
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; \7 S* y" u5 r' l6 m- K2 F总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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