《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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6 z1 F( T! k" J% Q影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
1 Y( Z- k* O4 JWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
* G  j3 c0 R/ p3 f" cHolmes: I just picked it up.$ N- M& t& J  @8 A7 q  z! T7 m
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）( G( s  G! B/ C: G1 X# t9 J& T7 z  ^  C
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.1 F5 l$ o. \3 L. g0 d" a  M  o# B
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
  L6 s0 C8 a7 Q0 B6 \Holmes: You did.
/ v; J, i; }6 t/ D) o+ {4 i: }7 O（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
1 r8 o" z+ s3 R( @2 ?. oHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.# k" y' `. P$ O6 h& T
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, B9 ~1 i/ }4 c( }$ Z宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
5 ]5 ^7 t: N' B& Y+ ^0 l" f& _Watson: Permission to enter the armory.2 ]2 B5 M$ d) B4 p
Holmes: Granted.
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" l8 y1 Y# i4 B; m2 p! \. _晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
5 i! T. m9 T+ C6 k$ ?Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）) G7 p; `4 q; {' H! @
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。( j# W6 Q0 |  F4 G
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。9 j% [+ ^' l- V" }1 `
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! }' z, d1 ~) S, EBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。$ Y; M* {! G  b) A0 r, Q: j
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。/ y) _0 g: O% [
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）- _/ H, t, F, l  E
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?" @6 s- _0 r' Q& _' m
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）( a$ \3 x( U7 @+ w3 C8 E$ J
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.8 A4 E3 c+ b" e9 P
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
1 v  B  W' D4 t* a9 VHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）1 W" v- _7 ?- y0 @5 p1 H
Watson: Get that out of my face.
4 b! ], U, U  zHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.2 h3 [7 Y% J- c! Y5 M3 ]  R
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.% l$ y+ G. J1 G1 ~5 d2 V
路人警官Clarky上场。
& y, ?( K3 i3 h9 gClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
5 ]  O2 ]# g* A( z! T! RHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）5 J6 o- [/ N, W+ X! k
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
# h6 l1 G9 }1 m9 e) T" O' RWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
6 m& ~9 t0 U$ o" hHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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2 z8 T4 a  r) ]9 u墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
" T6 ~8 U4 x) q/ O（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）* Q8 h, h# [  B: W  p. G1 t: |
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
; z( e3 R) R6 c0 n! ]3 gWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）6 P# H  o1 z6 n2 f, `- \3 Q
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
' e9 t1 D8 q! F0 g  W! _Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）+ I  s" J9 A8 `! M
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…( o. v% F) v2 l. V; h1 [
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
8 Y4 K8 o3 X% r) _死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
, h' }3 D" p$ Q  ?7 n6 }8 RHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
6 y$ ?# f) I9 l* Q后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。4 }1 G; o; Q8 I7 [) s7 \8 q* K
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。% n* N9 s( b% k
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.- [" U! X8 q0 j* E6 |$ V' N5 v
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4 }% `- M! E8 e7 S5 }) D接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
0 ?3 W" B5 ]+ r话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
4 @( ~* e; g5 W3 z$ fHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
2 P  E, v3 S2 h0 A, y5 E2 CWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）& u$ r1 ^' K: c
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）! s1 H# I4 R, @! o1 W/ ~
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
9 L- R  f. R& A- \9 VWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
# i1 H* [- G+ rHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
% E5 r8 |3 g1 z9 \Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
9 d6 [4 a# u7 [- LHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
+ `* M, ~) P; q/ C( _  S! QWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）6 _; l  |6 S0 h- s( F* P
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
! B: q! P, ^* ^% K1 N$ U. G（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）! _" A7 V5 l. j3 p; R5 C/ R
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+ Q# X! B: Q3 w$ ?总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……