《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。+ u% K/ d2 p8 ?6 u
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
; ~+ @- w, ?$ i: n, K3 A  ZWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）6 F- _1 B& ?6 w
Holmes: I just picked it up.! D% C; w8 y- D2 I- M3 L
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
" G% n  W, Y; M5 `  g9 uHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
; r/ P+ q6 Q1 Q  [Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）/ S9 I: i& u1 }
Holmes: You did.
' p+ I% _4 O+ D（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
% P+ `3 x5 `+ m8 F2 ~Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.7 d  T: \4 c( I% R4 v0 }
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" H: a& G) ~$ y) [6 {/ C5 a6 ^" V宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
9 M1 J- Y8 F* G* V2 E1 `Watson: Permission to enter the armory.& V- l3 Y2 D! H/ e! i
Holmes: Granted.3 G  H9 E  Z$ C/ c& _9 N
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
/ n- F: {  F3 W! ~  V0 ^. k; [# WWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）7 A! ?" V0 p* ]1 t  H) D* B5 o% I
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。$ M& T" [7 ~6 X/ z9 X1 Y/ f& V
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! v. C8 }9 k  dWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
! X* {; V+ l" W# G  DWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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( v  {$ L/ S9 |( G* `$ h. v! @& i* |Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。$ k' P$ S6 }' L6 W" a
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3 g8 A" k' I2 ]/ H" DIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。' J$ T8 g0 \3 a$ E6 w5 A' S9 a0 k
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）0 P. ]8 d# I. |
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?# H& z* u( @! Q+ Z
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）4 L* T/ w: \' O% q; q" I
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.# E* ]) q: |& `: N( `- B; d2 r
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。/ e# b- F9 |9 m/ q0 d7 `  x2 z0 Q
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）1 m7 k8 o# h! C: X
Watson: Get that out of my face.) k% z! \; K5 x' U
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.4 b  g3 l. R: ^/ y
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
) r' G5 S2 V0 R路人警官Clarky上场。
) u8 a4 O) v  M1 m2 h- k: o; HClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
5 j4 `9 }) l4 L! P* R9 K8 n# u0 PHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）* W- A1 ]& n- E, j7 M3 o; A
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。  z5 x9 J9 C7 |' R( D3 I! ^# N
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?" a& E' \5 T) v* S. x
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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' J" o, m% C9 U4 r& a墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
9 H2 R: g, X9 `（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）9 I. y( o# o/ x
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
( ~" E6 p. ]  A& ^, K2 o9 i, m9 {+ TWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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9 U* n+ s# [8 m$ W! p4 P* h河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
7 \& J' D& q; B( D& j5 b. ^8 KHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）/ O. q' q, [. l  o& z" |3 P
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
: J- \/ n( c) d4 Y; D8 MWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
( f" G6 ^$ O5 ?+ U1 f8 Q死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。" U7 r! i- r% a0 a% v+ {
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
0 K1 u1 I1 q' U0 v) r, u' h后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。3 M- H. C. s% p5 E
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
) a2 @) Q, L( F  J9 A4 KLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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) M: I# v& ?/ p( j; s6 i接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。. T* h' f$ F% g1 ]! D# o' w
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
& h. g+ u5 n  ?* Z# @4 Q# tHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
) p. E. w6 N: ~' J! b$ U! L$ J2 i/ WWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）3 B* S( K) j6 V  x
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）, D4 r) K2 N% k' {2 x% O- O
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?5 z( h5 Z2 G' j. q5 o) W7 S0 F
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
, C2 j7 A; ]7 m$ r6 O( CHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
6 C" a9 P2 _+ U2 K/ n0 Y8 QWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）+ K- z9 w% u  v; F+ N
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）2 k' Z! x' K3 ~' y. ~, l: ]
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
, ~0 i$ Q3 O4 W' N9 bMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）6 i- y# b# H4 f0 Z. [
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……