《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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9 R% H5 H0 c0 }/ K5 a影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。& y& P( n1 h0 W  `1 s& E0 _
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
4 `/ r/ d5 `0 M# R3 G3 r" b1 I& uHolmes: I just picked it up.
. I4 p, n  N/ @5 ~! [9 hWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）! ]; M, f! x4 l. z+ `
Holmes: Knew I forgot something., K" Q& K1 P1 X1 w
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
, e8 q9 a& H7 p' i( ~& j3 vHolmes: You did.6 c* D6 Q& V. b+ M0 p
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）2 {0 K( G% @/ n
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.3 d- g/ ~; n5 X7 c
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。! M9 I$ r0 ^( a* [2 e
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.4 R# M) A2 `" f# f: y) q$ T3 c
Holmes: Granted.8 b/ \0 i, K  o& d  r
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" N% o& h8 r$ N, k晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。6 z7 B; F% V5 f: Q9 g# n
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）) C2 D( s2 e3 H7 ^6 \: J+ _" t
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5 O; X% {( i# {拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。3 Y, [: v4 j/ t
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/ ?* \/ |7 J4 T# z3 ^Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。# W6 l0 Y) V5 u7 W* T# ^' y
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。. T$ N' ]* Q. ]* y2 a, R$ _
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
9 ?( I' i/ `/ Q0 f+ |4 z（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
' g& j& ]" Z" H1 C3 u2 gIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?3 W% K, p& M1 u( D
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
% x; S! X& V8 @Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.% D; [1 K3 [- ?; }* _
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
2 V# c! F; X; \3 W: ZHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）' t" L, J, G) l, _* ?
Watson: Get that out of my face.
8 d# N( A8 k5 f! _/ u1 IHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.$ v6 {: B8 U* P; E; r1 N
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.* `9 P" e* B. f- @9 H, H4 f$ O( R
路人警官Clarky上场。
2 u7 V; E$ i! K) a3 E# AClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
' }  j% A% G- `Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）) |* N6 {. O' H5 h
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。8 z8 J. j' _4 E9 D/ @: x/ `6 j3 J
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
- N% }+ {# i8 wHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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; ?+ O. [8 L( E$ f% A7 P墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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+ ~% L7 b' H- ^9 D# O- o6 iHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
/ O: e; L! I/ G: e$ s/ ~Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）+ u! e& ~0 m1 Z
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& C0 y+ z2 s! G. g河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
( @9 k7 z9 J) {4 M$ VHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）- C: {/ F& F3 ^; F2 L
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
* W: x0 k2 |" f# j" t4 X. @Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）2 k. l; S  T* b, q8 a
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。, F9 R) X3 n% U4 @% c& C( v/ p
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）! `1 \& k2 x3 V# d7 F2 V
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
/ i* B, @" x5 l; p' T8 R& m* a5 THolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）. J) E: u% R7 T
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。& u$ I3 \6 R* B; k6 h4 G
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。" k/ ]% ^8 n8 \8 I$ @7 H
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。) Y4 c4 Q0 M2 L+ w/ W7 p; w# x) E
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）4 q8 N# v2 y( o' Q, p' r
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
1 p0 J. M: }  D- r  M- G% S) mHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）& `/ e$ F& W. f$ Q5 Z$ J
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
- _" c9 r' `4 r& eWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）* n3 r0 r, X5 d( Q5 w* x" T8 d
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）3 P6 t* U1 M2 P1 V& L  v
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
: F+ @8 R  J) a4 Q! a1 p+ PHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
6 x- f" }7 g# n4 T" n  o: c' ]Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
7 ^3 ?6 S0 o& \, lMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）" e" t% f% P- O7 Z- r
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）( d3 d9 `$ p% I0 w
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……