 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
; I. `4 ]. z; @1 Y) ]/ sWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) - G Y% F$ T5 @* C$ p0 R
Holmes: I just picked it up.1 s; ? q1 d- y" v3 \
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) ) k0 w4 B" J* H' M, O
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.2 l( I5 w! x- b; Q
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
( q* i3 V* j0 l: gHolmes: You did.( w: } G5 N2 \* L* x) C
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) ( T$ Z) z* Y2 c8 C& }
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.7 o: M. {8 W/ p, Z2 g
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5 J' D. Z/ L& _8 v- _宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 ; n8 m3 T/ n4 z. A5 ~
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.; k# [3 v" a& G& n$ s
Holmes: Granted.
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9 ]( Y# d: R6 Q! B晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 5 O" e9 c0 b4 U; M. W; X, M
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) , B2 \$ h/ Q" K- H: Y: F
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 , V2 P) ?& g0 h- g* h8 B8 u' ?
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2 X# U+ ~& P; P* E2 t+ oWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
. G m2 M: ^% f; K" }Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 2 Z+ I* P; J4 H" y0 {' m
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2 T4 f( i" S- ]8 B( M3 qHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 + W: t- ^: r+ L5 A2 f+ Y$ A& e
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 # R& ?& P* V% L# U/ D- ?. x# T( q$ E
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; d) |) c1 W: ?Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
4 c9 I+ T+ p# b; W( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
2 ~$ Y; V0 V A% ?4 `, OIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?& \3 ^* Y. k" D5 H; n
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 3 b/ R& E- P! I l. m1 y8 ?, L7 u1 z: v
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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. U# z+ c. E. c/ I/ G8 CIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
+ H, b; ^& F1 B- U0 _/ {% [Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
; X1 q" d" V/ s. ^+ MWatson: Get that out of my face.
5 B* F+ X/ @7 gHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.5 q$ u3 b. l, A+ N+ [
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.1 d6 w. I3 w2 s. v
路人警官 Clarky上场。 ( H4 f8 _8 E% B: t
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.- x# ^& a! U* W) J2 E
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) 4 f+ H% B8 F- p' g9 G. |: S* Z
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 6 h# v9 W' n7 v( o: b/ i$ t
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?1 v4 P0 G/ X1 n* |& g
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not./ {6 |; a1 l/ F: d" I, {$ j
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, d* s2 X) R3 Z& v9 ~ _8 K3 ]" Z墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 , D3 N; n5 I, W2 e; B% @
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
- \& U) |, ]5 r4 J& T% ]! rHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
& [# S- }! {4 _0 S2 Y0 N5 CWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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( V2 U ]1 {- C: B河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 / |$ P: L( ?1 q& F7 [
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) # p/ r4 B( O P/ ]! y
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…2 C# f1 J$ m K \0 a
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
: g+ v: p g7 Z' [死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
+ \! D1 c. w$ e; D& dHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) 3 Z# k. d" z, \/ N3 y
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
3 T6 ?" r+ Z* q2 X$ QHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) : J1 W/ H* `7 d, _3 @, Q# _
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/ A; n3 v" y( D) m" ^, n" {警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 . |+ N" i3 x6 D: _" j
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 9 k1 t* _3 A, G2 G2 ^5 \7 W" S
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
6 r, v* y- G1 I1 B$ J, C3 i' v0 `1 BHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 2 b! N8 X) D K6 |% h, d
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
; J% x5 k% U2 _% @3 F4 X5 u- @ AHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 4 H" P3 r$ T% u4 g- C9 ]
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
) O6 U+ i" x+ X& F" _6 E) {; T+ b+ ^Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) 2 R( f7 L4 B% g2 R, L+ U6 L! _$ P
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) - D4 J! d O7 z* }& a) O
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) ( y6 N9 E/ t ~8 I: C0 r
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) * P( L+ D; W; x1 ^& g# M1 J+ P
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
# l" {; G( F/ `: d2 n- m) H4 ]Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
4 I( U2 |8 v8 W( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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