《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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  g" g0 R* j' T3 Q* y% c影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。, L( a; {2 i- z. D; g! }
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
+ c& C8 q/ g! |* v1 j" ]" FHolmes: I just picked it up.
; F, k7 ]9 ~& q4 U, c" I( I4 _& rWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）$ w, U, r( _8 u5 a6 a5 G) D
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
& B6 X- i3 u2 a3 K4 d; DWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
. `/ I! G3 A9 V! _% e. |5 f9 u7 d( PHolmes: You did.
8 P3 ^& C; e/ P' Z! O- f9 [（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
5 A0 J# i7 I& tHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.+ R6 b) u: ]: _' \" M( `
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。. Z, |1 e* D5 X3 p+ \
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
! a" G1 {, G8 V7 [! D5 {# vHolmes: Granted.5 h" ]# Q; Q' P% R
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。  _' p- q' ?$ h9 K4 T. B0 J8 h. l
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。7 e$ e, @5 B, k! [6 y4 d* O
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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7 v3 \/ I" @' i, A" gHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。8 ?+ E  i) R6 `3 `# g! _
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. k! Q# O6 i' i6 K2 U( `, YBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。, k* \7 g) {4 c0 R. }0 g
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* a$ S" N5 T. P4 i( `$ q) TIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?4 Q) v0 }% G& ]# g8 E3 [
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
) j# t" m  a$ E, G, {/ dIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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2 k0 R3 S5 L7 q5 G- i" I( ?0 JIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
% F# m" S# Q' H: s1 H- ^( n4 SHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）- k8 n$ C# p0 _8 ~7 W8 c
Watson: Get that out of my face./ K2 F3 n9 `7 n5 q8 B6 w
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
( u8 f1 M; S1 uWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
7 T7 U* H) P3 }路人警官Clarky上场。
. a7 Z2 \: }4 MClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.  q, \3 `5 Q  }2 T" N
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
: d- q1 u! Y% f- U/ }- D9 e得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
3 I# f9 e8 Z( d. }Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?3 ?. F2 m+ m" v' V# _. J
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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1 A; H" R9 Z6 U" s. [" yHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
! T. o/ `4 ^0 R( uWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）9 ^: @# q% [+ ?2 ]1 Y6 H" i
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。" R' Z2 I8 B/ w% m3 t, A
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）0 ^5 @5 D: C) n! |6 X: S9 m
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…( q9 y" U9 m  P9 I8 i: O
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）' R/ K! G6 E9 V0 I
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。- k, U+ B) M% y. }6 F. a9 [! F
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）1 _3 N. B  W( J) g
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
2 P7 E/ y% _2 l, g4 e4 b3 JHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）- u$ S. u" a8 ~2 i+ V$ H  G+ h
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5 S, V1 W2 k+ s* Q警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
; }/ h& r5 v, V8 C: tLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.% n% \, M) [* o
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! J! {* Q" K& P8 z接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
* H, k8 O* S5 c" ^话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
$ t) k9 W" }( ]; M. M  t) M9 ^# f0 nHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
$ H. m6 l. T/ B, FWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）( e0 E9 s8 Y3 l+ T" _4 @
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）1 y. T' H$ z% x4 p! Y+ r4 p# e
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?: m2 L8 ~' J3 O/ Z+ q/ y$ o
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）4 {2 y4 l( H# q
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）* ]+ c! V: E2 O( j
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
1 O& ?; n" \. S6 V4 G  iHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）, b3 T; x. M. [6 v( S
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）$ O/ l0 X; ~7 X$ X1 _# v
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
0 J6 G7 C# N8 n/ _' t+ n3 q# M（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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/ E3 D+ h# \: T3 |% M总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……