《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。" O+ C" ]6 Y4 ^
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。& `! F! d9 M$ x) {0 i8 d9 T
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）0 d) T* O1 m1 L" J( }
Holmes: I just picked it up.
" a' l5 a7 Y1 P9 J% UWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）5 b* e( N& r, I' |7 p: n4 c
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
1 a9 ^8 C9 k+ e0 p9 [4 fWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
4 p/ O; C: c7 ~% ^/ B- B7 _Holmes: You did.
( L! y! v- @; C/ W3 d7 @, F. l（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）6 [3 k0 s/ ^* H  O  n
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
, g$ g  _! T# g* m0 ]Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
1 H6 h0 u! r8 `0 X) |Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。& {/ s; g- Z- G# a2 @6 A2 Z* L
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）; z6 s8 Z+ ?3 z5 |2 T
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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1 T8 z( w1 R0 ~& `Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。- K* m# m9 F/ l5 }0 A
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）, z0 V" B+ J7 r0 `& P
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。8 G% W( w- a) ]! ^$ `3 n, L8 t9 O# J
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。4 f: r5 k( c9 u
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5 _- M$ }& ?. d. f& k, uIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
1 r3 W1 n% n! j! n（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
# M6 `- s+ G9 p& ]5 VIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
* r: a$ }( L  |' c, H0 @. A; M4 tHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
3 w# ^: M8 |8 [& X- K. p# e( ]Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope." k1 j6 K, z% M- |9 j2 K/ {1 e
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。& |. `" p/ ~$ D/ D8 ^
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）9 M* `  R/ D3 Y  ?1 n
Watson: Get that out of my face.5 d: e: l1 n& u+ T
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.! j# V8 C" L: D2 F  E# E+ Q
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.; }# m3 |3 }" R& F0 s" J
路人警官Clarky上场。
7 c3 j. `- u! p- o. Z; Y/ AClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
% ^- g7 x" H9 m, dHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）% t- Q. ?% j, C5 P4 X# K; ]7 N/ V
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
% I' G/ H. }5 w* _7 BWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
1 E1 s1 g+ v" m. W9 C! ~Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.- w' E$ p$ ~: X, [
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。( x/ y7 j& b; o, @& G$ r& v! G
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）" v9 ~5 R3 E6 Y( i/ i6 M: G
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
6 X2 B' Q+ ^# [3 m$ d* j/ t3 Q* TWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）% J+ Z5 Q. s; B6 l: V
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。, C+ e6 U: }$ x
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）+ N  A% \. c6 k- J/ a1 k8 m! E
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
* f8 @) Y0 R. b' d& `; O1 UWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）! H1 o' N! o/ n+ a
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
( U5 r3 }" g* lHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
% @/ l% X8 F# q0 {- o2 |0 u后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。0 Y4 z0 r7 `6 _# B- q2 A1 m
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）$ P& @' \% }: D5 }
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  l) s' y7 ?" g) k) @8 v: P/ ~警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
+ q2 e+ E9 e8 |- D* m5 v) n3 |, w1 eLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
4 \! }8 i- r7 V1 O  |话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
$ ?( F2 d2 p' EHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
: P/ g1 ?5 B1 z: c; BWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
2 S( e$ n" Y0 }) h6 O7 L- oHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）6 S3 a& o! \+ t. b! Q
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
/ i$ d! B6 D) P) `4 y& NWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
6 {* `) ?5 o9 l/ J: o6 b0 AHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）& O5 ~. L1 Y- e2 ?& V
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）( U* L$ G/ Z2 `6 i
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
) o* |" f$ q1 P3 C* `6 V! h8 uWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
3 r5 m" x' P8 ^3 iMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
3 ?) a! G% m$ U, {) g( J: B& |) t（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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3 k+ {7 J) ^. y) O; B总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……