《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。% V* c0 X: x8 d) K
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）& s+ L9 k. A3 }+ m! ?$ P" f
Holmes: I just picked it up.7 J0 A' F$ h% |2 ^
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
% ^: ~/ t( T2 y- i) x# mHolmes: Knew I forgot something.3 [" V- q* w" ^" m; ]
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
! k' C& R+ M; I; @Holmes: You did.5 R3 D( W/ R6 B* W# q4 _) L
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）5 r; C$ V; v2 B5 ]7 G+ d6 C
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
" P  H- L" Z% {- M+ XWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
1 N; x' \9 {9 g- |% L. [4 L! UHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。0 I- E8 ]! e8 w
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。* M: O+ }, y6 e7 \  Y6 {; }
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1 T8 i- ?7 m3 t3 wWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。( l; M9 ]2 S  x! h2 _
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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& r: U( H7 g% X; ^# M  T# S4 RHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。# ]3 d7 a7 T  p+ r* w8 H
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' Y0 q6 v: m" n1 R" o/ i0 M. l1 mIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。* T. k8 d5 a  R5 C# N' S
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）/ x" B& r+ T) e% p: H1 O
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?$ m% x5 Q! _* Y7 R" n6 n$ K/ n1 g
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）' @! P6 E* `- S/ u2 W# n+ P
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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% j* |  H. C  q, sIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
3 m+ N/ c8 p+ u, z) @Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
# Y0 ^% N1 O% R) A* U& t8 XWatson: Get that out of my face.% V- H9 o7 T6 f; w
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
1 S$ {  q4 _5 u! o3 uWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face., x7 }: Q; s7 H: b/ m8 ^
路人警官Clarky上场。. a  B7 a6 y; T+ ]0 A
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.' Q$ G' f$ e( y: T. I: c4 f# v
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）3 s8 F+ r' z" X' h' w
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。. ]6 \, @8 A8 U& i5 L, y. V
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?. A; g* V# ~& \4 u, x5 Q
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
3 }" i7 F8 u  ~# C3 l（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）8 L) M* L; ?$ r3 D+ i
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
! O- p: `' e9 y( z$ z- VWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）  o" b( _& p, p: O1 u
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9 q7 Q0 _' b5 b' f) W河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。9 Z. E, v: D$ h8 \# k- c
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
6 S. w8 B4 `/ U+ z4 oBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…0 k" Y1 S: y5 W
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）: ^, a6 S3 |* \+ r$ B9 S4 ^) Z# g9 E' P
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。2 v6 O3 T0 z6 k" M' D+ S+ C3 x% E
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）5 s4 t  _4 l1 [( b* J, e. z% \0 J
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
# ~$ |: g3 e# O) T( _+ DHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。* V% u, m6 v8 ?, [9 y& x* f
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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4 I# s, M+ X: Y0 {0 d$ q" z接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
0 g8 F/ e6 m2 I/ H: a3 }话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。' `/ d% D2 L! G4 D% `5 x4 x
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
7 ]( Y" v3 J6 W9 IWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）. i7 I  Y& H; h: K* Z1 J. G7 S
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
, e1 y  s8 [0 C! _Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?. M8 l& _' }) j
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
+ {' p  |* Y( |8 H3 U0 j" gHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
( L$ g* I( h( }0 ?! HWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
& t' ^2 _8 l& m& t6 QHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）) F8 ]+ N) \/ n* H9 ~6 E
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
' b, o0 |6 F) Y5 y, I& w# TMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
- I, r5 g# B; Y（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……