《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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, P$ `8 H- J* g. B+ O1 A影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。% T' P8 W* W- j3 [: c
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
  [5 J- \, [+ @( DHolmes: I just picked it up.# j/ G8 e' V" X* q; j
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）9 l! f8 |( k+ X, F. L) [
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
, t4 E+ D7 d. F3 C7 ZWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
2 h; J: B+ L  a, |/ o! SHolmes: You did.
- O* M! P& U8 C, w7 h- e8 p（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）; t. Y0 h7 ^5 ~* \$ |2 a
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.4 U1 J' c$ ^+ I" s. L2 H
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" Z+ @0 D+ C  ~4 y宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
- p/ K7 ^6 Q3 G; E, @2 _Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
: ]' z4 }& J0 Y" s- NHolmes: Granted.! `& F! N) \% ^1 l: [) E
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
4 W4 y0 _* A) RWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）/ _6 j, X8 |2 e; V
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
' Q& U' _4 `: [% r$ w7 sWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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. `7 v3 U- ]2 {  }Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。0 u% `6 B! m! K" k' V! N
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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3 i. C1 a3 D' F' Y# M2 k* P+ BIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?6 Y; P: m1 L: a% U. X* Z6 z
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）. o) R( N, e  Z5 H# @  Z
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope., |" n, M, [  k
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
# C& T- y9 ?0 b+ S' q! OHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
' P( |5 `. w" ]1 v8 AWatson: Get that out of my face.
/ X8 ]/ B( E$ M# U; A6 u8 v* EHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.$ v& t" s% ^/ c( G% f/ c
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.& ]2 S2 ]3 D3 M$ S/ n; |: w
路人警官Clarky上场。
! I$ a# q& b' q7 L  QClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.0 k/ G4 J1 N# x( W7 ^4 Y3 |7 O+ M
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
/ j; P, e' o6 O1 _0 v得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。, ~8 N7 H% |7 V, c
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?) Q! `+ Q# |5 y( j9 G0 g3 P  s
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not., {/ ?0 t5 M1 B4 V5 I
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+ s- F; y6 M4 y墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。$ X: n. ?$ E( K. I
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）9 @0 b7 d" f& C' p- J
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
. v) t) {; q, P2 F% W( f" i7 ^Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）5 C* Q0 d/ Y6 R, C
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% u8 @% v: q) c' P( b  |; J5 o河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。! r7 t# J3 W7 f/ f  f$ Q/ v) _% i
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）( C+ Q  Z: m/ j+ n
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…+ V- Y+ d0 ]1 x3 {
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
: r: i/ P$ O4 V) u死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
; q6 M& P; c. C3 cHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
4 S' ~# D/ d8 U0 d; b/ R" X后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。! u( j; ^' Z! L6 _% N7 Z
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
! |+ P! _) \" W6 A+ m, {Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.+ w8 s+ z  R; w+ ?
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7 i5 M; Y# O% Z8 A1 ]接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
. C/ e2 V2 K8 `+ d6 J话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
$ b1 p& x2 y; i: ]Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
8 w+ V. [7 g& o$ Z* ^Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）. x9 i7 H8 G: s+ {/ c; N
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）; A! n" \/ q! w" X) ~" Y, o
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
* Y+ K8 D% h5 d7 @* F5 j9 TWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）7 K' r8 e4 J9 K2 p! _
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）! B  t# I+ S& w+ h
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
) L* w' f( t" v: K) VHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）) w) r9 q1 s/ y! m& I: O
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）- M7 v: Y: l6 u- H, q5 @- O: Z# E
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）4 }! L( c7 u, R$ q3 r7 [
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）7 ^8 K. L5 s: P1 u- a( K+ ~
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. p/ m! _* h( }总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……