《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
. F, ]* z3 w& z$ q4 FWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）6 V  j6 `: U5 t2 ^4 r' L% B
Holmes: I just picked it up.
7 G5 p+ W$ O1 _, U. P1 p# UWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）. m+ k. A$ u% w, g3 k4 A2 X! }: z
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.* e! I" q( d) Z( V" Y1 n
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
' Z( u$ V1 k# ~4 rHolmes: You did.: P* P- c& p5 J9 d. w1 r
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
5 N% @# o" W1 k/ W. _( EHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.9 w7 m0 `' W& C2 h: ]5 v
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。$ E4 ?# g* V4 [7 z
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.! {4 H! t' C: s, K1 V
Holmes: Granted.% F& o" }4 ]* G0 c6 Y) ?) `( h% r
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
/ l4 W" w! p( m5 rWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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' v* v/ K# A3 k) ~! E* I) KWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
7 o9 d4 `$ o+ E1 ?: vWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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3 ]2 G& D) g; S# }0 l8 eBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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) ?/ v. A  f& T) _Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。) |  @" e! C+ e2 E) i
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）/ s: v" U" u) D1 x1 R
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
! @0 F' C6 w: p2 ^* SHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
1 I1 F; H; H% h' pIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope." w! C- m5 J9 B' ~
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, o# o8 ~6 k. W% y, ?Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。5 o6 K- k8 F1 r& @  {! A6 H6 n
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
5 N- g1 |2 y4 J+ F/ O3 L( uWatson: Get that out of my face." I0 w8 V! O, V+ }6 ^3 E) T6 I* s0 S& s
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
8 V" F/ G/ X3 @/ w3 L1 fWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
' q9 h" f8 @* r路人警官Clarky上场。
$ f. X) J5 F$ T+ s2 A5 sClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
$ H1 g2 b3 F( Q: }& [( Y2 a# }: HHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）2 ~4 m0 k% S+ R7 _
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
$ C( W$ f" o7 X' ^) O; j3 @& gWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?# }: M0 G- o% x: g7 `
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.& W% {/ @3 g8 m3 m+ k  ], I
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" B8 Q$ C9 S2 [' j* U  T# Z" L墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。0 h' F. i. j( g/ G$ a
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
- g2 e/ _( V4 k0 vHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
% S& Z" m! y) B+ m# V9 k0 k2 w0 DWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
) H; e/ j; q) M5 ]Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）; \$ \: z, c8 Q# q7 h
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
$ L! A5 z3 j6 E4 I9 R2 ZWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
: M# H! c  `% S) B: k死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
: A. P6 f4 h1 F  E% z6 l! v# QHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）& @* t- {" P( g$ @! V5 }+ T
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
7 C4 x" R6 n5 [3 r8 l( J8 u# }& {Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）7 N. v  h8 ?, e; b, L5 i
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1 W% l0 {' W1 t4 ^1 Q' h警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
6 W' j1 e2 J+ q# j' m3 P3 nLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。1 k) J* g* W' i: D3 b
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。4 Y) l3 r% `  s( _: ~
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
3 }6 h  `3 A5 h' `' B! w! oWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
* W( X3 ~. }! h+ D2 \Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）1 P0 e7 R- c0 M% g
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?6 Q  e; f4 y. G) M; l% Y# w
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
- O2 S: D( o1 W: V: ~2 f! CHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
- I+ g8 i9 f8 }) E% B9 p' _Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）+ m; V& T  ^: R
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）: x! U: L. `5 I8 ~$ c
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
1 `3 |( @# V$ M; iMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
3 I& Q, X" A3 }0 w（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）! _$ @9 d, m' n) n1 W+ {' a
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4 L, U8 F/ t2 w. D2 F总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……