《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。" f4 f5 @2 r2 n
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）) q) p1 e0 t5 P/ R# P, |" N
Holmes: I just picked it up.6 V! b# w7 \0 ^+ V' \" V4 k$ `  ]
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
: |7 B3 k" ?3 n6 J8 S$ CHolmes: Knew I forgot something.5 K$ b0 B8 N1 C/ [( i5 ~% Z
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
4 `" |' ?+ X9 Q% NHolmes: You did.
: h- S3 o& A. D  _; l2 w（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）" X( I5 k& l; U* k/ N
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.- f# S8 j+ L+ p8 v
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。0 d. d6 N" q& k3 O# Y: r
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
3 |7 _7 F- j: R3 uHolmes: Granted.
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: i  U7 {: u! R4 N2 i! d) B晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。0 e/ K0 g" Z: V. D8 U; T- I
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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+ w0 s5 i+ |' g( Z, ]拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。9 L# n7 `/ x1 ?' r% c% I8 U
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
) Q9 L# |/ m  i* a" W; \9 z7 C9 XWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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7 F: w; q1 K6 R7 y6 pBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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6 z! k" R! _( t# L% qIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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6 o6 A4 V1 e3 @: F; Z# `Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?3 A% j' L5 R$ E0 |! Q0 H- H' R
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
' g7 ]: G) G' |9 q: Y$ zIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
& K6 O! b+ ]. o; E: h! eHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
3 }8 ]4 j2 K/ h' g7 V+ PWatson: Get that out of my face.
/ [9 E. E6 k+ THolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.' R) e+ J  u) r- P1 A4 h
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.) U8 U- |) d! Q3 a
路人警官Clarky上场。4 ^: H7 D6 O0 u" I2 F  e- f
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
$ L0 l: \0 K) n$ Q. I. k4 k9 a+ v+ wHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
' @1 m# \5 u6 Q( M2 _& A+ s/ I得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。# N6 z2 z- L3 p% O& k* B
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?9 T' v; J3 f& |
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.3 F, w% x7 _6 }) g7 f
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6 Z0 @* ?# B+ n! T. L# z  B墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。/ D4 Y3 F6 d1 @) @
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）8 t% d3 i0 T9 u
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.( y" u+ \0 q4 {; B  o
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）5 [2 [, m: p/ f# H5 s
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。# ]1 l" ~0 @" q# r+ D& P' Y/ Q
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）0 a  G8 R8 S: B( q# o4 X/ a2 ~
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…: Q* ]+ g. R3 W+ G% V& Z
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
# B  @+ J- |4 M2 g/ A* ^+ @, C死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
/ u4 S. s' i6 i, O' F: B" S2 ZHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
6 z5 `9 }3 J, q. Y后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
8 n" m" S4 s5 m2 l' k' B; Z4 D) B1 NHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）. w7 u9 |$ w5 U* y3 s& `8 \; y
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; {5 h$ z1 D3 y警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。: g* k: \& I4 G
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
9 H) C# S, C: Z8 B# m( j3 S话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。0 v' Y- p% j; Q6 T, n3 X
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）' _1 E9 i# O) B2 Y
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
  j$ k& [6 e* i* l5 Z/ f( YHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
& r( C5 |1 e3 x$ N- pMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?# y* c6 W; u3 P/ D' d
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）% [8 e5 S7 {# z  n. F8 c
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）" U3 k1 z4 j4 g
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）9 z" k; S( |, _9 p
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）' N' e: E5 b& s( R4 S
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）# g& S6 D, G, L6 v3 T+ ~: J
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
/ Y9 _$ g  Y  Y& j（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）* R5 O) J" Q' q
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. |0 `$ P3 }( m' \* L总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……