《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
5 o+ c$ c+ k+ n5 ?$ w( N. [% gWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
: z5 p! k$ o% Y7 l% hHolmes: I just picked it up.6 j  z% g7 O* L
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）8 S/ }" K" J: ^
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.  X# l& Y3 Z6 G2 G
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
' |, c, V' C  J0 T8 qHolmes: You did.
' Y1 C6 i9 A) K" m% @' y+ [! a- }: N（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）: u, ~7 T5 N7 m+ `" b
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.: Q; T+ ~1 H6 K9 E6 L
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
6 i, l" [+ i4 i/ N; S) L  nWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
( F' M4 O) f7 E4 `& FHolmes: Granted.( L# W( y" d3 L7 D/ T  \
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! i1 Z# C5 V6 A2 X) j, U0 _6 z+ \晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。- `* W, C! |- j, m
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）' ^/ A$ K9 l/ V% h
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。8 `) W( ]" ^8 K% A  h; j
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
3 k. x8 v( j9 f& Q0 KWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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/ z8 B/ Y: {4 x- ~% BBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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; a6 c$ Z2 O+ `  p% AIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。; `# j9 }- j7 B& G
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
6 |% L1 j& W; N0 y2 c; p- qIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
4 D  D4 t1 A, K0 A) sHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
/ A+ K0 z' Z# \9 i3 M4 zIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。1 U6 }, F9 F7 L- M# B9 z' Q* _7 B
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
% a5 ~4 Y0 G1 `! L5 OWatson: Get that out of my face.
! l3 D! Z. M" H- z$ w4 LHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
( u2 ?0 F" i2 R' ], b. W# H( `Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
3 l2 L6 f* A- s路人警官Clarky上场。
8 I% {. Z; b7 nClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
9 U5 F$ L# {; X( c/ E$ |+ kHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
0 Z9 i" x% S* n得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。* f9 ~% C# N/ Q  U  ^
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
" |. A- Y( P# X8 x* y0 VHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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1 H1 @% d1 M' E; H& {墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
% p6 n& K" {7 c- _/ l（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
; ^+ ~& X& I* X; F7 I6 Z) sHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
* F4 ]; T! z, r0 n; g6 LWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）$ e" d8 f# D' m0 V) s
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
5 a+ p$ ?0 k# E/ _+ JHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
. n; e1 ?! g( o# H6 RBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
0 R3 s) R5 m* t, WWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）& r+ t. X9 |8 c4 E6 P2 s: r. Q
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
4 B3 E9 v; h6 Z5 mHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）$ D: u8 L/ b3 A! w) A- v: [
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
0 \5 o: Q0 v- u! U* pHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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4 \/ j4 G) Q) A; i7 _* q警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
6 b: l6 Q5 z& D9 nLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.: P8 r: s* z$ p& x, Z
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  F* i! ]* q4 y, z4 o, H接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。8 @5 @  s, o1 P7 X2 h( p) O. k) U0 A
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。7 d7 ?4 ?9 ~9 s, {
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）/ R. S( g+ I% s! A+ N1 m
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
# j6 l1 S+ G  {5 CHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）( k9 ~) O$ e" O5 y7 g' u+ ~
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?7 N7 E( Z% A! H6 A' f# G
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）' f) H7 ]2 b. w4 o$ m1 q. ]! Q
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）8 i+ i( C% S# ^
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）8 b' p- m% [( E# I7 s3 A
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）! _" @$ ~; O; B$ l
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
7 e* s2 |; }& S; XMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
6 r6 `: @/ x8 h1 I" s& J（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）) i$ T2 s; J7 v) k  H, h7 |/ P
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……