《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
! a3 g& i* G, [- P***********
8 R1 y; x$ L4 P  H1 ]1．
2 x3 X5 ~! U- y( }. ]影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。" ^8 \) n9 ^4 i1 H; K$ c: [
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）- I! ^& z$ G5 Z! P" U
Holmes: I just picked it up.
" [, h& q) J6 w, j, i0 Z8 k# xWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）" s8 C2 U: Z, V: ?+ W7 D3 h
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
. g6 D  U. b" {0 P! xWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）4 _, r% l' r* j- k
Holmes: You did.
* _& H' V* T" O# x# [/ D（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）4 s; r- t! \/ V$ e% ?0 |, N# R: \
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
. _6 J  q+ q1 V( C# }7 X2．% ]' \3 n& n; X3 C4 Q
宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
/ ]  N4 U9 G0 b' @1 a" `$ e1 @5 iWatson: Permission to enter the armory.! U- t9 t+ t. X: i1 C% |
Holmes: Granted.
, q2 j' f  [- u; F8 u3.
& X$ O" d0 z. X( B( R) y晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
) V4 n: g8 W& U/ J: l8 d$ JWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
. w1 _2 r0 b0 {# ~4．2 [& n: P8 D' k: g
拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
: ?, q% y' Y! t6 z  C5．
9 T, Q0 N8 U, n! U8 kWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。8 g! v" m# s+ t3 _
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
- D, Y8 u* Z5 K5 f. ~1 d$ {. O6．: O9 Z  W# W5 U- F2 J
Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。6 p! E3 x. |4 Z4 x* B2 U$ T
7．# l+ ]2 h; S, o! s4 a' j
Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。- M5 S% P' l) [. ?, u
8．7 n9 J' W# z9 \: y1 o2 g. L
Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
- n0 ^0 \' r0 `4 y4 W6 a) C+ H（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）# @6 ~( X# c2 g( l5 V3 i) t" z
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?+ B7 F: m7 N  `5 I, F4 B
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）1 I0 C% `$ @' B4 f3 f- q+ s
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
6 s. Q* F* P/ n9．
# k- B% O# E; F; i* P' K& y2 C7 k3 vIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。" L* {1 F  Z9 i  Y% W7 S, ~
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
9 |5 v. M7 i7 m, xWatson: Get that out of my face.0 @" `/ b0 ^- ^' C' x9 M
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
0 ?2 l- ]# K! X% rWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.$ U; n+ f2 i! o/ Z( ]
路人警官Clarky上场。. q* b3 ~$ {6 T+ \* F
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.4 m, Z% e  Z' {# _5 {# V
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）% Y% f" `7 y: l' s4 D, w  B
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
- T# _/ ~+ H7 [- ~7 |, nWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
2 I& c& T  n& gHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
: q& z2 I, ?" w* G10.$ ~2 }5 K0 P4 U5 W# D
墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。( v6 F& ^8 m+ G' q3 w! T
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
% ?* q. T6 W$ b3 Y5 w. SHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
( [; u. {, i7 r, KWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）; b3 a" U# n) ?" A6 z( {8 \# R! P
11．$ X, i, I- |* {# g. Z
河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。; |5 d3 T, q7 S
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
; @! T" Q" p' q2 [3 M0 U! yBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…2 c: r) W; a7 R* H
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）0 q- R5 g8 Y. F! B0 a: u: ?
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
8 B0 ]+ k+ r8 ^9 AHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）8 x( R& k$ o$ u5 x
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
6 X4 c& q5 s. e$ I+ g! mHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
1 h) v+ d& h3 d$ T12．
3 p$ O3 e# U) h  \警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。2 L+ E& w0 {, o% V- F9 l3 z0 A
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.: l% {6 h) h) G4 T
13.% Y5 v& e  O) o8 {) Y% O
接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。- K$ k) a) B/ B2 W+ u
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。2 K7 Y  ]- |4 c2 U: W
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
" T/ f3 c' {) \+ k) W9 zWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）9 t8 s; Q( w8 ^% o+ ^) v' G8 Y. t
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
/ @3 R; H5 L/ JMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
4 H. u7 k6 @# W. P8 J- OWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）- h4 v* N  P! _+ n: f  f
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
4 Z4 d- r" o/ j( f* ?! h6 t+ k: v4 YWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）+ J% r7 |$ K& b5 t6 ?9 f
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）4 r6 o5 E' \6 J
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
# C, \7 W1 I9 P7 {; IMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
8 L) _- t: M' n! j' g; ?（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
" `) T5 S- O# N% T- a" f***********) l7 R9 ~4 H' L  ]! _/ @  {8 ?' k
总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……