《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。/ m( c. x) ~) {: N$ X* I' _; R% k4 f
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0 x! K6 ]4 O9 `) }/ K6 j) Z8 X影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。: ~; {1 ^6 [5 a5 F8 n8 D
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
5 _1 F/ C. {8 k) m# s( dHolmes: I just picked it up.6 b; s1 Q- g- x* z- O* v' |& d9 U
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
/ Y* w# a0 ]. \% E# c8 g3 f6 _/ kHolmes: Knew I forgot something.; f# a" r8 g8 ~) L0 v5 ]
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
+ a' ~5 P9 w' W) ]* w4 J2 ~, @Holmes: You did.
+ K# p& b7 E3 I" R0 _（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
: V$ u: i5 s& {8 n7 h) \Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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7 d7 r- b, ~: {8 H. G宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
3 i' Z0 L8 _, m2 i; M' [9 tWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
! ?, V0 N5 Y+ eHolmes: Granted.; j% T; c0 `' ]
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! T- o1 [0 r, @' I晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
- g+ N3 B! Q" _* f/ SWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。6 W  |5 a6 L# o, F7 u
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+ D8 \+ w0 x$ F6 ~1 sWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。8 |# n6 B. i) |
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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; c/ S9 L" Y0 a0 XHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。  S: j9 M: s6 {4 W( H" h. z
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  q7 O1 a8 f/ dBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。5 _% s- Z: h  Q# g
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
8 w7 r" t1 u2 Y（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
  |( {& K) k: Y- G3 [7 g5 |! w  `$ GIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
; q, S& d: v9 x2 C& HHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）6 {& i$ M5 q+ X* J# J' Y9 ~
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.( s5 U# B+ B, }
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。& @& b9 m2 _9 z& K; P" t: \
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）8 p9 B+ a  W6 Q1 x" V* k
Watson: Get that out of my face.: b; t) {2 P3 e
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.4 F5 ?4 [2 K8 b+ `) v5 s
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
. }: E3 C) P: H& R! X4 m( n路人警官Clarky上场。
1 h, Z* z9 _! ^Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.0 f( Y/ P2 x3 _. Z( g
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
2 d+ j3 r% o6 @得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。( W4 A+ e3 G4 n% v% u
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?+ l$ J# o2 s; T: v3 x! R
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.; r3 I/ A; p5 e; s0 m' _; b: B
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
; E* x+ ~) f+ X5 @- Z( Q（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
  B" x" J. O8 f% o4 t" mHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
6 s. B/ t1 [* z1 fWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。. h/ }. b5 \$ M
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）: Y* U1 ~+ a4 s$ h. o' p
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
& _/ V" O' q8 UWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）6 i, [# S; }4 s' l! A
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。# l1 t4 X. {& |0 w/ P$ K' ^
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
0 \' w! z: U" g0 a: a后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
' L9 W8 J0 V, nHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）9 S5 w; N' v/ [& |; a6 S' r
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。. C; }" K. S& x
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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7 q- W1 c& C, u+ A2 ?接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。6 L7 e5 m9 a0 q, {0 ~# R) @
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。$ H  N, b; M. t; D
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
+ e8 K3 U! R' A- }# [! kWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）% h6 u, e( w4 }6 p# A$ _3 G1 y
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）3 [/ @9 i1 H$ K) G% N
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
3 d3 @( Z1 K" W0 j2 }0 W1 d5 d+ p7 aWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）% t' @6 e) d, @1 s# u' k, ?
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）8 B+ x- V6 k; g, s' m
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
5 |1 z0 y& W" o' W5 E* a; ^Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
& g- t, d* j2 }Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）0 {* S8 c: h  Y& X8 y
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
* ]  w7 r  z2 [* @( k+ P+ R（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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; t6 P7 u3 p  N' v7 B总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……