《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。" ]5 O. s6 u9 P9 C, E# B0 W4 m
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! P4 S3 E( R$ c影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。. u& ~" E8 v: p. s$ K
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
# ^8 U  u% T" J) I1 F  tHolmes: I just picked it up.
  E: Q1 `0 Y- O& M. @Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
6 q$ B2 b' d5 O' R5 T( `5 pHolmes: Knew I forgot something.6 R% K) m2 \) h- K% U( [
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
5 @- ~+ n3 E+ j5 OHolmes: You did." N6 j# p/ n) O9 r- k  Z0 t
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）! [6 j3 H( @0 _3 ]6 H
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all., K* g+ ]9 V, `5 D( d
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。& l) j# U! I& n
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
! P# e7 d8 Y( `* ]; J; I8 F/ AHolmes: Granted., P. u2 B) j( ^; A8 p" S* I
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) \' u9 D6 L* E* u晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
& `( ^1 I, e, l/ r+ P# g3 l0 ?Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）$ G1 t8 s' \6 x, L( u" p. S! Y
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。0 ^7 q. w9 ^* e
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
# X/ y+ J1 g: q+ IWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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, y6 M6 S, |+ UHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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- d' \& \- a3 |4 B. V9 j/ J3 E% VIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。' N; K2 p1 ~$ M0 m' \( u9 o) J# @# w! [
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）7 F$ h) m5 Y8 h2 D) R$ R5 S* U
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?9 a2 {+ R9 M( }
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）  b3 L2 I* w- D' l/ S; Q5 l$ o
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
7 G7 K1 b* ]* O: |6 bHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）" m' `/ g' U$ ~* G" h3 J
Watson: Get that out of my face.
; D/ B# c6 p0 U9 b0 f) E3 I4 RHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
3 A. x8 ]% r+ r3 \) J% KWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
% a! Z/ v2 X. d' R路人警官Clarky上场。
: z* x, ~" @) V3 T( LClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
- I2 s6 b! R8 P3 v; _Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
, u2 s/ {4 e- }& z+ _& I得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
$ U' Z% W, Q3 C$ V5 v5 N5 SWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
) [, L1 y1 K$ v$ o$ u+ cHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
! T- [4 x( `  T- w/ W（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
/ P! z7 S2 B8 k5 g8 @! S3 UHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
9 z1 ?- ~+ ?3 U8 e5 n7 b  |5 V5 oWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）0 z- }0 n6 L& C9 U% e
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7 u. C7 A+ V9 U! F4 x$ w河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。, J8 g2 J0 }- f+ R
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）0 N- ^$ I( ?& i+ x: n4 T5 z
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
6 \) c. f6 m/ _. HWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）  S# ~) {% \) o
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。5 N8 y5 L' d! T  ~& S
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
1 l: B2 b& r- h" }* s' N1 Z1 O8 {  q后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。- P8 F' r: u3 f4 g8 `( [1 x- t+ k
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）! t% m& r3 w. p; H% S
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
: g% K/ M# b8 j6 G" HLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.2 d, H4 Q4 S% c  J5 _. z( X
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8 X3 i! j+ R4 X4 F. i* X3 o接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
3 ]7 m0 S( }6 q# W: `话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
+ B- Y/ K; e5 H6 v" b1 ~" QHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
3 v8 ]: c. s5 H! qWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
; z9 O( z4 v# d: J) l  t$ AHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
1 G! M* R( Q0 m# y2 d; m7 QMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
' N1 f. m* N% E7 w2 eWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
1 \) K/ q- P' r/ A- F  mHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
% I+ I/ w, }3 S! HWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）6 L4 ~5 v- _: {, G: B& b. N
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
1 f! N$ i7 P" x1 T/ gWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
3 m9 F) }$ k# bMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
; }' M" a! T2 q/ m* e（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）5 ]& ]5 d! z9 T! E
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……