《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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6 D2 U# W  |. z2 i影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
7 U  p, v0 _+ w" j6 B% w5 d9 u  uWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
$ U' E1 Z. q+ f. UHolmes: I just picked it up.5 }+ T- m1 i* S0 Q7 R! f7 m1 d- u3 ~
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
& @; I: K6 w, w& v+ `Holmes: Knew I forgot something.4 X9 V  L, M. h/ _  ]' {( O9 t$ q
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）+ c7 [5 Y% N' q8 y/ i! t
Holmes: You did.
9 Q1 q! X' f& K（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
  s$ U6 c' J5 u4 R, m: x8 F( Y" JHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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/ q! T5 i  K0 U! u& l" q宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。9 L; y9 h6 f+ g/ X& e% x0 ~2 y
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
* h7 W" \* w5 o0 {) n' k, x$ @Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。* J! m2 J9 N! b% `' s: S. @. D) E
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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# w( Y5 K1 f% |' u拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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$ O; s5 R/ f5 V$ a, v1 a( P' G, d5 {Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
  l9 |5 h6 h5 w- S" J' M  AWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。$ Q# T. V& g7 P* Q1 {
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6 P) c( k3 t) e% ~0 OBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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8 ]/ b8 k* Z2 f1 }; d% HIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?8 f% Z- V) j+ E# `- c8 f$ h, }7 t4 s
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）! }* \1 }7 l& X+ Y& p1 ]) R8 L3 H$ K
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.# `& o) `1 I4 |
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+ F( f. t0 I- [$ Q& ~8 @% YIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。6 F  C( r$ ~4 E% {& k' ~
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）" v. Q% {5 E3 b7 ^0 o
Watson: Get that out of my face.
6 i' U6 |! J7 ~4 M& tHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand." P! g. a  J/ r* m2 ^* t" q! t
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.4 ?/ b/ L$ [& m% w' S, d: Y
路人警官Clarky上场。
* M3 [) P- y5 _+ p" R% A! a1 \9 CClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
2 m% Q! ^4 c; P% R; D* dHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）7 Y8 y9 k; d2 u1 C: W
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
& z% R, s% U0 ?# w9 j7 B4 eWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?7 e6 `# V' T$ V8 c0 N
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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: ^9 w, f; M5 H3 V) |5 q  a+ f墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。/ U' Q! d* ^* z0 Q' r* S
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
  d* r" f5 U1 M/ T* UHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
  w6 ?! f$ n* u: s( }Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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" B0 I+ S  Q* t6 r河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
, S& {0 K& m6 @& R# rHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
8 n! C# d- {; \$ z: l0 WBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…3 q4 D2 B9 B) P* {: u
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
! @6 }$ w" y# |( f死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
0 A" [  \, v2 ]9 DHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）- w5 C( L% v  B' ?+ n0 a
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。2 |) o; [2 p' X
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）# v' d. ~2 s! M+ U
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) J+ y8 l0 [1 [6 J警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。: y+ W1 v, O, V/ _4 u: Q3 H2 T% P0 h
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。! M  Z4 B" @% d+ ?& G2 a
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。5 Z4 ^& F! J8 a+ o9 k/ g" d0 D
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
3 W7 N7 w. ~5 {  P$ vWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
2 q% [/ f( J  Q# C# m: KHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）/ w5 I9 a2 N' h& j
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?" w9 k# J4 L6 `0 u9 |8 a# q
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）! c7 J& O- B$ i% q+ ^, m; i+ N
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
( B) k3 A/ g+ N5 `3 C! R1 @Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
4 {/ V; B% G3 U# B! B4 b) \Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）" V0 O6 A# E/ c; K( G/ e
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
( |2 b5 J( ^# d; f2 X% R& V9 g/ ?Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
+ z7 Y6 R# M  ]6 c5 Y（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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, \+ c; o4 x7 N  |总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……