《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。, g5 @" {& Z) w4 X
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。" k& y0 F' E! l. q' F$ U) J& R
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
9 Y" V2 O5 P* J2 SHolmes: I just picked it up., s8 T, `5 v# p) V5 q- c' Q
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
& G& j$ [' G% F/ b7 D, T  CHolmes: Knew I forgot something." Z5 K3 F/ J; B8 V0 E$ ~
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
9 p& n1 W7 |" }3 R$ BHolmes: You did.
2 W/ C1 h! b) ^; F+ L5 l: b8 m, U/ ^（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
( d- V. w% B6 u) |Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.2 l0 _9 p' i: ?$ n8 M; [6 h
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。& S' F- Q% I5 ^4 b+ D9 B$ v- F
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.- p4 N& R+ W% [5 Q5 H
Holmes: Granted.7 I- P- o" t8 O8 C  l4 {
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) n0 `" t6 ^' r, _5 C* Z4 L# X晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
3 e" y5 V& V& o% dWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）# y, N0 N8 z; B- b- r/ ~
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' q- L1 L( O0 \/ S6 Z" Q+ W拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。1 x. G( T; Y# u: s7 x
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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1 q- B0 z" R$ ^7 tHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。1 b3 b  W4 W- h, `5 j
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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1 Q% ~4 a( P: J. W. ?Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。, Z/ P1 w7 Z( H8 d% N2 F& R: m& t
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）. h1 f9 P1 t5 H; e, p" Q
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?; S# j3 m- ~* u& X+ d' P' R( y7 d
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）- c- n9 i, u2 A. `
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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: C6 W+ P! K" P7 {/ mIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
; W* y8 b7 w% l( _Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
! D3 A/ u5 X- O, t+ G% s# MWatson: Get that out of my face.( o1 M9 A" ]# U
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
% X3 |) ^7 C" m- p9 u: j$ L: mWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
) l0 w( d# c+ s5 W/ ~' b7 ]. U路人警官Clarky上场。
/ ?' j# D' H% K5 ~Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.# ?, H# ]2 J1 F3 V7 X* T4 n
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
  D$ z1 q3 g- |得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。. z" K0 E5 W( ?6 H4 P
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?) _  \* B0 J, U& F8 i7 T8 Q  z
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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. Z& A- W# Z- f3 H+ {墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
% b+ K! e+ y, X- Y$ [（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
% Z2 L8 }* x* j2 z& {" `Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
( P7 _9 ?0 o& q' [  j2 c* OWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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5 Z8 r; n+ P1 W: a, G# ^% O河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。  L, ]  Q/ ]/ }2 d+ {) f
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
* Q9 g, R' n: {& q* @Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…3 j8 Q+ H) I' t, ?
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）% V: c* `2 s1 y0 B  ^
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
& S  S! F" G' gHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
6 C% x* L+ p( C9 c, L# f6 o后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。$ h& O, L3 {  @1 a$ N8 L
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）" e" l% c* E( e) |
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
. e0 x9 G, f' r5 bLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
$ j3 V, i0 D7 m* p% o0 {话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。$ m) m6 L8 O( h
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）" k. g; I1 d2 [$ O
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
9 C  g3 m2 {7 Z3 THolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
( x! n# w0 B/ c" _' E7 vMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
, z. f2 E3 y. QWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
- q& o+ j  |4 n7 N4 e9 {Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
7 \" ~; h: P* R+ U2 kWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
4 N% ?! h5 q6 h( l  kHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
* ?, ^+ T. M* u+ [* _Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
3 f8 I- E* ^2 i# D& I1 Z8 rMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
3 i% g, p8 D$ c8 }, q8 W$ T（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）! E5 p0 q5 x+ \  {
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……