 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 & ]& c; a# h3 U! t6 O
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 " K7 I' X( w" p' ]: P# k1 u/ u
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) 9 \& ]! u# n, j
Holmes: I just picked it up.# {( B9 ]' d+ E D' k
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
7 M( p& q9 k( O$ G: `' x: L4 KHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
" a. G2 { v" ~& v* _9 j3 _1 VWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) " ~# D4 y" l8 _2 B9 n5 W% g0 \
Holmes: You did.7 k/ y$ w, m0 y8 w5 R% [
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) 7 l0 V; r$ L5 y$ y, T' G
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.& _* [9 k5 b/ i) u$ h. W
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
* c7 h; E. W6 R, N8 ~1 iWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
8 H" z4 F* [$ ~, A" v5 vHolmes: Granted./ b7 d% E. y. [' c9 S3 O8 ]$ u
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
6 m" B. F% {8 PWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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% F- N' r5 W8 i# H拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 * E( U# _ c8 T1 N& ~9 f# J
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, T6 N _& x. F" u7 sWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
! K9 R4 ~) H/ P _- {6 a( P3 ZWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 ' L C7 ^6 m5 w; P7 l
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% y; N: s$ I2 c- h8 cBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 ; l1 v# D& S/ n5 O0 @ ~4 K
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/ G' @ @3 U2 C& @2 z% iIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
% h& y5 T0 v3 X+ X; y( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
6 L: V3 I/ S# m& CIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
$ L5 D d3 I0 @/ Q0 RHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
& M# V; ]3 \% k% p1 }! fIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
; B1 f9 w/ A! W5 EHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
$ \5 a _4 |, d$ w0 }4 wWatson: Get that out of my face.
, [+ @4 R2 T$ g1 H1 Q o8 THolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand." f* z1 e6 t, C6 F
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
% l5 o+ i9 J1 e路人警官 Clarky上场。
2 G9 p$ k( a: dClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
) t, V W. X: t$ B# U aHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
, Q+ }2 r6 \3 v2 \; }* }2 L得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
% ~. M& {9 P9 O0 q' s3 mWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?' h- s" Y( q. Z$ t. O- G' J6 s, e
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. Z8 C( p( Y9 I* Q6 j; D
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 6 }, C2 w4 p& Y
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
( j9 T3 ^, ~/ u( w) KHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.7 ^2 s, t0 W8 x7 r( o
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) k3 w) d5 Y4 `5 f! V4 }
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
0 h/ g' V/ B* d" _Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
( u& K# }% g Y" Z1 H3 NBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
5 @& ?) V# c& K* K9 q LWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) % ?1 A$ K" c5 d# Q. X O
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
2 E2 F1 G% ~; e0 t/ W) _% WHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
$ |5 N4 I, ^9 o; Z+ }3 P `7 {: m5 ^后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 3 H' ?8 U R9 C# ^4 X- p
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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5 J6 d$ I2 b; q M警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 1 r6 h/ D: C; [- m% s( i6 [3 i
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 ! [: v* F8 v# Q9 M3 h
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
# E$ m8 a) W5 @0 x: E! R5 fHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
& E3 x- A: G* RWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 0 x) b9 n8 H3 y0 b, d. t
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) " B5 H3 p0 E; U* d( B
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
! d8 J2 ]+ C0 f2 g, KWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
# P7 l& B+ {5 DHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) - f2 [, e$ G% h0 {
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
9 M2 O& Z0 S; [# I- @Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) 3 u" \, \& a3 D r/ s1 K _
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) / B0 V% U, t1 ]4 N6 X
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) ' J/ y. a+ { }4 M1 |
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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: t7 w# R% a5 Z5 K总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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