《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。& a, o0 d1 P9 z, J0 _0 q9 i
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
. P* U4 X  \. p+ u/ c! p" XHolmes: I just picked it up.! v+ \; o$ u/ H6 ^6 x
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
( c, e% O: J! T& SHolmes: Knew I forgot something.  c; m" F" E6 @3 w/ N
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
8 a* |5 q8 h8 M9 eHolmes: You did.
$ `3 f) ^2 w2 s3 y) I$ N$ |" k" M（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）  l& V# v9 u: Q% N, g8 M8 S+ a( _3 _
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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# H3 A! s2 S0 y宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。+ I  Y# j) `4 o4 Z" f
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.9 g5 n/ R3 e+ z6 H4 m+ I5 l
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
0 z5 L  i4 }" e! K6 g6 pWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。3 U- K7 i% t, Q! v4 h8 r
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）9 ~( c: C! H' ?0 r
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。6 H: c; u$ d. ]# S! j- w$ o* b4 ]
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。" u$ m  w0 q2 n7 R5 R% F
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; J; a0 h; Z% P  [8 B$ MIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
+ M2 s) ~  @& x% g# c) x; t（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）' u) O( P; l; {1 r
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?1 U; G( g4 L' O" z2 E9 A  u
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）3 u, T+ O% ?5 ?
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.  B1 e3 S% M% I( V5 G+ l
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
' s6 Y  s- }% |Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）+ I! W6 H, ]( f6 c& g/ R
Watson: Get that out of my face.* h# c4 J- J$ [* k2 Z% [* b
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.9 O" D0 s" u: t1 ]1 k
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.! ~* Y0 p/ s$ c
路人警官Clarky上场。& a3 q: ^' f/ _: p  ]2 ^4 s9 ?
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.% N  r, d7 Y! {
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
# o3 x7 E) C7 L# c得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
( j$ X2 m% e5 M( sWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
1 k: W* ]" u& I$ FHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。2 c& g+ D; a; p* G+ o7 w0 ?7 E
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
3 v! {. v* L, p* o9 L4 o. i6 SHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
" x" h6 Y1 d% [- J* gWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
/ s' g2 K/ ^, C; s( J5 |Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
9 y: P3 d8 |( g# p& l! O* Q9 v  PBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…& A9 I! @* U4 h  Y9 F8 S4 Z0 V
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）/ e! p0 a8 G$ _7 [* M+ U
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。9 E8 a* t2 w$ w7 I  i
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
3 k% l3 I' b& r( S后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
" O5 P* J" W# R1 h* B% ~& sHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）7 Z9 q1 X4 {+ V2 a1 i6 V0 V  j
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。6 z! F& h5 M- Z
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
& D8 I. O4 s) R, k话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。: q# ~8 u, ]2 Q# @+ v
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
" T7 B* x) \* Y& D! \# M% Q+ [Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
5 Q9 O+ v+ O% {% j$ yHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
: {' m) H" P" D9 Z% V4 {Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
2 D0 S8 c5 A( N6 b+ UWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
. [+ v- `; d& x7 l; CHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
+ R2 z2 T4 U4 h$ ^Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
8 k% V$ A/ ?6 X8 `2 W2 |Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
) o# u* v/ X3 H: Q. ^Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）& E% p) ]. y- l
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）9 ]8 S' G* M5 q* l$ _- Y
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）2 M" p( y( j( Z1 r$ _
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! T  K' t4 _& [总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……