《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。7 K* M' ?  d: k4 p5 j5 }
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
2 |* z* Y* M- @& H. n8 z4 zHolmes: I just picked it up.; O" s3 _& u; V
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）! ]% L9 M2 t2 e5 f8 b. H7 q
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
+ ~* i6 u4 l+ {2 z3 L. D$ U% AWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
& w2 b$ K2 |2 y3 f: f& `% UHolmes: You did.: q0 Q4 W3 T6 A4 q. u- h
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
( L' X6 U6 U/ ?& M% r" A" tHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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7 _( U% o% s9 S2 h7 D5 U宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。4 n' A; K" ~; q& w! a: D  ]- m
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
1 h& q9 K  A% xHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。7 v' Z! z) J, b6 l1 u, M
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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+ \& Y! ^- h- t5 u3 q# v8 Y拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。1 F& L4 u3 m5 Q
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
) y9 F" e' t2 D' I2 `9 DWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）7 c& V# ?' h' T0 E- R: m
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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4 ]: V; @7 \, i+ v4 }& E0 P3 ~* cBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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5 D5 P) Q0 c. A2 u5 JIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。3 q6 v: g2 Y8 c: i
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）2 ]+ q1 t% B% g5 `% I
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
( f* t( W% m% |  b: Y$ FHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）) m* C% c0 h; }  d
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。5 s! X- a# g" u* Y& h2 O
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
' ^: {3 ~1 z0 v# I- b! B/ [" hWatson: Get that out of my face.6 x5 }$ D$ U$ ~
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.  t+ t" e# C9 x$ N  i' B  D
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.7 C; I8 H" O+ f3 r; f
路人警官Clarky上场。; P& }4 F2 z- |* o8 |
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
' X& A- }1 J* k/ p; {1 n7 ?) JHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
& T3 b" K" \; j6 y* Z5 h得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
: e& M+ E1 D3 z6 T6 lWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?! K' {+ b- C+ F
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.8 m4 C# C! a2 T0 d: t: d; B" O
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。; O: q$ j, L7 H: S9 n
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
( Q( O) i7 J, Q; v! eHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
2 `5 `/ o" H' y8 q0 xWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）# d% E; g+ ?& e$ E2 b
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" z$ t0 B- D$ `0 B  w8 H* Q河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。5 G# c2 ^- l# K
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）8 n) S) M- P- J7 `% Y0 n
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…! u# H1 C. z' G6 ]/ [' m+ W
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）, {! m8 ]; `/ s% i5 U
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
& @0 N1 J* ]( NHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）- z3 K3 l4 s" G! G% k. J
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。6 `9 I7 U: @8 X$ t
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）1 q& s' [' y3 T/ ~, e5 r  k5 m& D- P
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
4 s0 @2 `" K, O; ~5 Y% lLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.& Z) V$ @; k& V- q; _6 B5 A
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. p! N) g$ t# E# b接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
$ _2 u4 L8 ^2 S( S7 v话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
0 v5 O3 g5 i4 u* k) A8 Y( AHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）7 s3 ^- N3 d" p) X. }$ \
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）1 J' l: C4 k: Y; d1 h
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
- z" s$ ]- d" ?) EMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?# V9 `; K1 n1 N% e1 o9 D
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）( ~6 w6 S" m% B
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）8 \8 w: @* B  e/ t+ F% ?8 [
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
( A) B: i: n. H% J3 b. H8 KHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）7 A7 l; U. e, [/ L% x, B0 c* @
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）4 R, F. p( e" K% V0 x9 A
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）* T" l: z0 n( w
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……