《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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8 e6 e1 L, O5 V8 T影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。' x7 y" B$ @! g$ Y8 g3 a9 I! l
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）0 R3 M0 U7 p7 S1 n. W
Holmes: I just picked it up.2 P( t9 x0 J8 o$ W) S- `9 G
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
4 M$ {8 X8 u% M) UHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
+ E. f4 n, A" |% l2 D: AWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）. L2 |" w; C# w9 n1 `
Holmes: You did.# K& A& k; v. d- Y
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
+ j* u6 Y9 {- e' |Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。5 s+ Y" ]1 ]$ x
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
  g- I8 s) v2 `9 d4 l/ _. m3 zHolmes: Granted.
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) ?- g/ O, s" O5 Q! o2 H0 K晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。5 F& q, d, K! f# d: I8 W
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。: `% G; R. s4 ?- r
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。: q; o2 x2 r+ Z( }$ y
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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9 f8 Z0 K, b+ T" f. b9 F+ e1 G8 FHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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- }+ G6 |' u- [6 T' }Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。! o7 e; Q: Q( C1 b. Z; h0 S
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  @3 Y& w& j2 k. v4 e! mIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
# {0 }5 d' M0 x( X  i5 ~, f（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
: F' A* \# i1 `Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
4 J7 M! R" R1 `) FHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）# X* Q" ^8 C. ~, v( j2 h. f4 |
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。1 J7 O% |% f# y8 h8 }# `9 Y: o
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
4 y7 H$ R. d: H9 P; IWatson: Get that out of my face.
* ^" X' F+ ]" g: m6 J3 x' n4 g4 pHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.$ K+ m2 F! b- R8 e4 U
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
' @5 A$ a" L2 L/ ]. Q, q路人警官Clarky上场。, m  S8 a' T- [3 h' g# y5 Y. |
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.: G! _. f% l+ k" K
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）8 i. J. A9 T  [$ o) k% ]' e4 W
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。# L9 c9 }, w$ G' ~7 F6 }
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
. B7 L! a* [) U& l4 Y* WHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not., X& j9 q, o6 p  e5 D
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) r2 p. L- B% F$ S' e墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
2 T1 J7 a0 ]( q4 |; O（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
4 E* V5 S$ i, t( N5 K5 D0 uHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely., C. C9 F" ]6 h, d. R9 H
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）5 O9 q* c% C9 ?, ?, X" y1 U1 B, [
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。, B2 ~1 `6 r. X
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）! `/ A  U* q  O) z( J7 }( E8 J: D
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…" M& i6 X! v4 U7 B
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
3 n" ^) h* O# e  y8 s+ ?死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。/ m. ?5 l' c  Q- ?9 p
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）( a. ^8 \% \6 |2 [. w+ M5 N
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
( T/ f: U2 ^9 Z! ^  }Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
0 v. z. H* _. U% oLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.) f5 a% g: R( k4 Z/ X
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
% H7 t7 W6 O0 p1 j# ^+ \话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。; ^5 N: x: o4 B& Q3 p' i3 ~
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）# y6 b) h! l% l1 |" f& s: P  o
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）4 R! x; D" j* ?) Z* p/ S( c
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）0 ?* K$ R; J! a0 A* C
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?6 z- }. |$ `" J! q
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）# Q/ B9 I# {2 W( G: F5 u' Z7 X
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
; m% I6 ?& g  k# |' `' HWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）5 S, g) Q5 j3 f3 D
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
/ p1 |" J7 j4 F5 q% t3 m" B/ p$ wWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
% b1 ?$ N' ]5 l7 wMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
( ]+ h" L5 M! f$ f$ m7 ]（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）" Y) I( o5 J5 H. s& v7 }/ B
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; A* ~  G2 }* _总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……