《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。) b5 o+ D/ H7 s) a# b3 V0 S
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。8 `* G& w# K4 D; ~
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）9 W: I# d% H! Q0 i) i$ s1 L9 D/ f
Holmes: I just picked it up.: g- Y( ^9 ~0 ]  |
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
  Q5 _* d2 k* g* B" q0 h( z: AHolmes: Knew I forgot something.* m: W* [  A" V2 B
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
" K# a  x" }4 z; P2 g. o. W  lHolmes: You did.
, U' j( ~- ?' {6 s（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）& [' u: X4 b4 w) F  F9 k
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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; l0 C4 _: Y- O- [+ h宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。# H% y1 ^/ r8 h) f
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.+ Q6 F5 j6 ?- d- p7 k! P0 A4 Q
Holmes: Granted.# \3 R$ s$ }  @: {" ]% d3 ^, K/ w
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, b& s. Z( ^5 C1 r晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。% r1 `7 d4 W# e% B& ^- \; R
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。" ^2 T3 V) a% S( p) q( N
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）# ^/ Q' u7 o$ l' k# @! ?! |- E
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。9 H4 e. W" t8 M6 ]  E) o
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5 J1 \  g2 |2 G2 y) m+ oBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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- L; e/ p' P: v4 j0 K3 @Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
# t9 @* y4 |) X' Z' E（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
1 L; r# x9 d* G3 X$ p2 ^Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
' `' a) I3 g- k4 P, gHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
& M0 I8 W* s$ M. Z0 QIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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! J" ^" V& F0 W6 e* g+ mIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。+ v* }3 y9 E% X
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
$ L; Q- p. q, A' ~& ^/ X% `. R6 VWatson: Get that out of my face.$ G( i/ N; ]5 f* C
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
. e& B9 c3 g9 M4 xWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.( }, Z' N8 A. n1 Q( f8 L: a. u
路人警官Clarky上场。
. J' I$ \5 {7 q: b; c: iClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
! N, Z2 w" l- f, P5 nHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）# U( b6 |& e1 @" j
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
& c7 z( b' R9 J6 [$ x# C6 QWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?5 t' d0 e* R( t$ v, n
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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5 T" f9 n' [6 o3 \墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。  P" E& O( o' l$ Y  C
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）8 B' G" w' ~% a* L
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.; e. f6 D$ i1 F7 u: q, ~+ \
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）7 j4 P0 p( Y/ F/ k! i; g
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, `, ~( {0 w, H7 X' B+ R, O# }河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
$ Z" Z- i1 U2 [- B5 \) q7 j0 ]Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）# j% b+ C/ P% j! E
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…( u* B: k& |3 H7 U7 C" C
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
, T: `- D) B5 K) w; [- v+ e5 b死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。# l8 L6 b* Q. b% Q+ V8 m
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
, r0 b4 E' D5 z2 Y" k% k' `( l. I9 ~后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。0 w# A+ J' l( v* q7 c$ k; h
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。2 U$ g# j0 Q4 {% q
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.! o: H% f9 U4 @2 W9 s
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' Z7 t6 g' n8 B+ S3 Y3 D, O; B接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。+ i7 s% U% |- A. X) r
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。0 [0 t) L( G- m. p* L
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）/ Z5 F. A9 P3 [2 J2 G) c8 T
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
9 a9 b0 g  |5 IHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
% |4 m2 a$ y. r5 L4 }Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?/ p, ]! L& ]. a/ c4 j4 w$ G
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
4 [% ~4 W2 \) r# ]% R8 _Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
/ W: [$ ~( F" ZWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
5 i5 f' |+ u: r/ A1 l2 L# S- ]7 VHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）' N  b% J7 h/ a  h: C8 b
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
* t: x3 O% i- l- O! j! KMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）1 z3 Z: x! `2 i, J
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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3 g) r4 l$ x" v7 c总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……