《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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: f; B6 p$ t% S! S影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
( V) m( A( N- e! V- M9 H- t5 q: K# ]Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
9 N' _" s: K2 a* Z7 |' wHolmes: I just picked it up.. r" o( ^9 P8 z) `3 J1 I
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）% L8 B: v- z/ D4 y$ {! }
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.$ m7 ~8 m. Y. p: J1 m
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
% M, [/ \  w/ F& R) uHolmes: You did.7 g7 e$ u: \, a2 a/ I( f# n: Z
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）* S! X  f% A* ]1 @5 h
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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  q. o. Y9 c, {: h$ u宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。- F& `) N3 ]6 c
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.' e* f! l4 v3 J2 @) l2 \
Holmes: Granted.
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" G% ^; v1 R# X. Z& u; v晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
# ~3 Q( l' I# F- T4 b. g: TWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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0 F' _* R: L; l3 n拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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/ Y8 ~5 o9 ?, x8 a) FWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。; Y2 p. \7 i" H/ O
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）  h" l) P7 U: g  F: F9 k* G
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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- y4 D* d7 i! E% b9 gBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。  x/ C0 K& B0 [8 o3 _% a, ~
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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$ X% m$ T* o/ P+ }9 \; qIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?" [& x5 B0 s% K9 N/ O; Y
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）# L/ i! w! _1 ?* b4 X8 x3 M
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.8 B8 e, L* E) _! T# ^
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4 x9 }6 o2 K$ r; y: s! s: yIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。- x) S7 w% J. H% N! g4 ?* d
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）: ~. }) g! r( W9 e$ l& O% j6 ^
Watson: Get that out of my face., _9 X9 M4 H/ {& W# Z
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
9 K7 C, x. ]' C; lWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
  ?2 d+ B5 l2 b4 X  K路人警官Clarky上场。! K, m/ [9 Q# |& q6 V8 b4 l/ b9 ^
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.! n5 h( b( g2 T6 F; H+ _5 `
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
/ S, l; A0 h8 c- U" B得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。$ Z1 I7 n8 B9 B1 H; j, W
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
/ f; Y1 p2 w& B3 D7 w. Y; dHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.+ h4 r! y) `5 O+ _, }( s
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。1 s7 s3 A6 `: S  ~% g; R
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
; T6 u+ O, q4 n7 D# YHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
& A* Y3 |  m# P9 R" n' pWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
1 S' p3 y. \' D4 \Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
6 N& I0 }6 s; Z, |3 aBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
6 c7 S; ?# N( I6 o3 ?- g2 DWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
$ P) q# h& d- r5 e4 v; K0 ~* E死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。% o# V4 A  {# X! I% X
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）3 |# Q% W+ S7 H! ]( j9 Y
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。' _& K7 L  U! l7 a: f
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
/ c( B' }+ b5 w9 }% ]0 CLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.! T# y% f! h. s; \+ H, s6 k
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3 y' ^( I  f% k9 h" m; r8 W. K接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。  O- D' H5 J* |8 j0 A. {: p
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
0 B) o, H1 P+ ?* ]& o" ~) b6 VHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
5 f6 }/ }$ @; ]Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）2 T: ^$ s: L1 h) K( h5 R
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）6 p3 ]5 M- y5 {3 P- Y; H
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
; t) ^/ g4 w/ N" L+ ^Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
/ X0 R+ \, L- ^9 s+ CHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）& S" P+ N! y' F1 K6 b
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）  ]( O1 U( R) K. P4 Q3 M
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）+ i: r6 }4 P: q' J. w1 `
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
  n& z( i+ x6 x; Y7 |" w+ cMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）* L; k! O* b( O- r& d8 t1 O0 s% s
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……