《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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1 o5 m9 u. r1 Z7 x7 |影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。6 x8 q: X' U5 w" `- K2 N0 c
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
3 n) y6 a: |* @) I6 ~Holmes: I just picked it up.
6 |& t& D4 s/ \% j3 B- P& LWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）) V. A6 H* M  \. M! F' Y* g! O) U, x
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.0 l3 _; A$ u# p' s* U7 F, T4 S  [' c4 f
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
" l6 W  R& v9 F* ^2 i8 E- J+ N- gHolmes: You did.
5 v, Y; q  f$ \; q（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）/ `& T1 X: q8 b% W4 n! W
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all., P: ?% O& o. p; q3 j" P
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
: w+ r7 T" }% V7 n5 G7 b+ E( Y4 nWatson: Permission to enter the armory.+ P  |0 \% T/ u  A
Holmes: Granted.5 ~& L/ D* [7 x7 C% d1 \2 J5 `
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
, G6 P; r! w* R# M: XWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）' U0 Y. X8 l0 C0 _2 ~& ^
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& k  C+ _1 n9 y7 u拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。  ?7 _7 e$ O+ }9 t
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
& z* a: k( @5 }: n0 M% W* uWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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! I! e- C& r$ f! MHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。4 y7 ?2 ?/ S9 c( o
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8 X2 V7 U' `- I& l! w+ I- ~4 v& EIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
, {+ o7 I9 g. ~  ?+ M9 Y9 }& l（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）3 m, }: l1 [- X: b! c
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
$ h, g: q) Q& T/ iHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
* `  V/ r- g) N* c3 T& K. e6 MIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.; u- x4 ?" m  ?& b  \. Q
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
2 M  c- L+ @& |' R" T6 j- o# nHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）0 }5 h3 f4 Z& p5 [9 b, r2 ~
Watson: Get that out of my face." |. z" J9 p% v1 x  X8 F7 I% w2 u
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.9 v+ Q) T# c/ _$ d2 N
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
5 y. }+ V7 ?( f0 @# b2 k* u# u路人警官Clarky上场。/ d% i4 y4 O4 R! o! a. V
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
' }9 T( v5 N$ X" u& PHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
) R" }  V  _1 e6 `2 S# i得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
8 D: E0 H" A2 N- w- UWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
+ [. Q- o5 Y& `/ S6 ]Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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. g$ B. q" S8 m3 r5 U  A" ?' n% l' kHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
: l0 ?0 \6 R( ^Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）" P0 i- v- |9 ]! i; s
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
* f# ^7 @: k- k, E* \Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
4 K: Z& n# f& p9 j& }8 l* s' A" R& jBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…, `$ M+ X* d4 v! k7 S9 [
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
( q8 K" L# r( F: J. M- f死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。( G: q9 y/ L& k" _$ D
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
- I) u$ ?1 Q# u( S5 Y后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
. }0 Z- F( E' a0 h8 @* [Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）. p3 [2 v6 x6 Z1 Q# P3 |, m, h
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! @& E% O$ A7 m# u5 N警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
* Z' q+ j2 t, L; l* T- D! yLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
6 q# T1 n, r2 U, ]( s! s& }话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
  b: \4 z: T1 rHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）7 g* }$ B- g1 p  H+ s& S/ u
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
' j7 G; B& ?/ {Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）" [, d, l) @4 a
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?, K/ a. ^& y6 U2 i) l/ [" b
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
8 @/ D' u, n1 g; @1 ~& g: mHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）& D8 D# B; h0 F" S! t
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
) D, }/ c/ Q+ T/ NHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）9 e5 L0 {- \) T3 G: {' u
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）. W) P1 c" u$ b8 X5 U
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）  ~% `% d0 [  e, E
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……