《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。& D! u% w) W+ D  C+ N$ X
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）; V( `8 c+ [$ |3 L5 O6 h  I8 @4 W
Holmes: I just picked it up.
- Z1 X( W( G, A7 g# P0 `2 |Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
6 N  l7 d6 U$ q6 G/ v. D  @: jHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
# e; a9 J3 `. @) A- C& H  IWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
7 K" p/ c' n, l3 J" C/ n. dHolmes: You did.' V! D" W; B9 g6 x
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
  e  g- h  s) r; L& eHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all." F, T4 q( u3 |
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。8 k+ j) L; u, m8 o& K$ l
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
5 R* ]$ B4 C  a& N7 a" B9 yHolmes: Granted.
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, \, t: H9 q, W* f+ G, D晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。5 Q1 Y+ `9 p& N, x. C5 D( B
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）4 ]- n2 Q& `1 y7 @
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。! B3 W( ?' n7 [( u& m1 q
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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2 g( B" H0 b) A% KHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。) k& ]. M% d9 ^- z$ Z
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。3 S: m0 W8 }. P! p" I; X) ]$ B7 m( ]; y6 `
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）- A( b' `% J) A1 j8 b2 U# _
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?, D% b; J% o8 y! D* K# v
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）$ m, Z1 ^6 C' {7 M. G
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.. [% a; ^/ c% C  V$ h$ m
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。- x  l( r/ r6 r! w7 U6 N
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
1 B: B4 M- c# U5 N4 ZWatson: Get that out of my face.
7 |+ Q# c2 Q& a% V# ^4 d" \# x4 mHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.) e8 }% V. C- k+ u
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.7 O0 Y7 G9 v) b2 m, j- g* X
路人警官Clarky上场。" h1 Y5 |/ Y; [7 W2 |0 X
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.3 _, e5 }& w* L6 R  k& Y; O
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
0 ?6 E; V+ Q3 s8 z+ j6 s: B8 {) B4 Z. g* a得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
. w: J6 ~/ ?0 kWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?% {! E+ H$ A& ]% H) J* T
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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3 T- ~  W8 \; M. }6 xHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.3 ]3 q' g) i' n/ g0 K
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）- f6 m2 Z( {* e7 [# J
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
: K" n2 W/ I2 zHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
# b9 ?1 s- A! d: Y4 c  _Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
; {2 Q( B, p$ `: HWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）) M) D4 a* S3 _& H: h9 f; h
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
4 ^7 A! l/ j5 q9 L, ?3 @Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）' y8 x: |2 v, i
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。+ z2 H, K( z  Z3 D; t3 Q2 F
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）2 S! n2 Z2 J0 d, _, \0 Y' L% Z# B5 D2 Q
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8 C2 W! `& r4 F) I: {! D# u警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。+ i  b) ]8 u; l- ~
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.5 h! L$ h9 e8 S' w
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
5 h9 A! C# W  u话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
( l7 p+ V: `3 q' s0 I6 d' `1 qHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）: W! w) G- x- m, q  V8 v; P
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
0 }3 _/ s$ v, @  [0 h2 \Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）3 ~0 l$ F7 E9 y% n% {! X( P
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?; M7 ~2 w  E9 u2 ]. J
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
1 o  @6 F0 R" S" i' NHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）$ X0 X1 l% P* V* Y
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
* V- \4 d# H/ G$ v; L+ D% K1 }' kHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
9 t' Z: n$ s0 q" PWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
. k2 a% B, S$ G3 U; h- ?( G& TMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）3 B4 C* c; X" x
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）+ Y0 H# ^2 a( L& g* _$ p" H( Y7 l
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……