 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
! H' _! V7 y6 x6 i1 `( MWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) * b8 x. }1 H$ T: M, _# O
Holmes: I just picked it up.
0 v9 d6 m6 Z4 ~; bWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) " t* ]! M: |! ]/ G
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.& q* C( U7 y3 K6 n( L5 y
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
/ m; q6 J$ r4 x4 ]3 r9 e/ P9 v; hHolmes: You did.
4 _4 ?: Z ~( ~3 a/ v$ v(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) : x4 G7 a3 _1 v, t( J
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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" H4 F. K7 y. a7 L+ N3 A& h宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 & U# @3 k9 z0 J+ s: L4 [* M6 r0 L
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
% E/ \' `* T: ^& r7 ?# ]5 Z' yHolmes: Granted.7 j" [! {; o4 g P5 @) Q/ K7 {
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6 R+ C- v0 z5 v6 F: O- q晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 # o* X% L- L! ? e# A+ ^; ~( C1 r
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) & L c" Y8 x0 G$ Y* T4 ?
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 6 f9 T0 v/ W) y1 a) j G- P, F9 A' I
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" L9 Z! }8 f! V9 L- [7 aWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
! y& V& w2 P1 x4 [7 h: RWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) ( v/ H }* F7 I. D$ m
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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5 O+ w4 u2 R, LIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
9 H, w& P0 b6 {5 z' K( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
3 M( V6 }; j# Y$ R6 H) t1 kIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?/ S2 P7 l4 f# Y: ]4 v5 o
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 8 @6 Z4 T+ _6 |( I
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
4 l: O+ d+ u8 y1 K; NHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) & x2 L- X/ N1 P2 y0 }) k
Watson: Get that out of my face.9 j$ X" }$ k' |0 n5 P P
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.1 D# ?( b7 ^6 y
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
! x9 }& {# J' V$ [路人警官 Clarky上场。 3 m$ M: _4 ?! E& [ s1 H4 V. I4 R
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.$ {; A6 J5 O9 X+ n5 q- t; {, r
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
3 T4 `& _0 K9 q/ t/ g( R+ @) f得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 1 L! b7 }5 i4 {
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?' w8 ^+ A2 O& @5 l1 s9 k$ {
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
5 ^* g2 H- S, g( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
+ s# N3 a4 p4 u' L7 {Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
& F) ?: w* H0 a& m% \ p- \Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) " r, x& s. E* U$ h" g t
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$ g0 S4 \9 m) Z4 o0 d9 ?河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
, j; |; O5 l2 O/ ?8 I H2 h7 Q5 BHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
! ]; O/ ^' \" L( ]. _5 ~0 yBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
+ {3 r f% E9 w# i, k" ^" L( rWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) % l8 F. ? H# a! v
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
7 u5 m R0 X/ K! h' B! O7 \Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
, J: u' j( K8 c, i, h2 t后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 & _: l7 K! v) \# @! z/ h% @% O* }' x
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) . ?2 ]6 b& H0 i3 {% z
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' B- g! _6 v- i% ]3 w# _% d$ K3 V警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 ) x" j, e* E2 v) L$ I: J! l0 |
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
( k7 m! B8 _8 A# p& c! j. @* n5 s话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 j1 e- v2 i' D" e) ?9 L) Q
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) ' q/ L. n, ] C, J. d
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) & z0 Z( Q9 k) L0 z7 w! O% E
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 8 [# X" w2 A4 o
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
8 C* d' w" \" ]3 E/ lWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) ! C1 f5 ]0 D% c, M2 V$ o
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
7 W# u+ G6 ^4 cWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) ! p7 j( z/ A, J% y! p$ r' q
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
8 [, K2 c3 o y. P1 f- |# hWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
6 M( b, j4 D/ N s) F: zMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
9 k3 [% p9 h0 A( M& ~) f( S( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) 9 J+ \) c+ ]6 O$ z! k- @' m* H V
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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