《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。3 j5 C6 ?5 m% j: N& z- w
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
+ O6 M5 R4 h$ {) `Holmes: I just picked it up.
8 I' t3 |! \8 [! ?' G1 X0 u3 sWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
0 ~1 Z2 i5 a% X: x2 BHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
# ^! l/ k# n. U/ Z) iWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）5 k0 Y' D4 l' t  S- Y+ U$ U5 R
Holmes: You did.
) P5 P( ^% h/ [9 c（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）# D( z4 o- f- A# }9 {7 ^( [) z
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all." I9 `" j0 P' E3 s; g
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# R8 _6 n! {  d, K) C宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。* Y/ ~/ [" ?7 F- L$ F( j
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.: Z$ r- U. E( R  C
Holmes: Granted.( L! ^* Z4 y/ d% c& y: ]! q; D, m
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  I$ {1 o8 d  g% @! h6 s晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
" ]& Y5 B% s. @) gWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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5 D  ]* m9 C; p7 F5 W# h# p拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
& r* F3 R" r% d) k: R0 W6 b. TWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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% i& v8 b  I. s) |# c# ABlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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! H+ e/ m4 \  g9 t9 y( a- V. g% g, tIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。9 x& g# |1 {3 G( }3 s
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）2 g2 P0 j' C- ^
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
5 V( e# ]' ?+ B8 w  k- VHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）  s! v! g$ k" ~, q
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
/ A6 j! g& b1 M0 THolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）2 X4 `) g, P! l+ O/ N' f- R$ _
Watson: Get that out of my face.7 }8 X3 o* ~( Y8 S0 t1 F; h* C
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
! W5 Q8 R* U4 {- b  J4 M- XWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
+ K: A8 i: Q9 \路人警官Clarky上场。
  x# v) |' y! ^& A: Q  a: JClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once., ?" ]& m" G. E8 E3 j5 `
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）% M( r6 q* N, ^8 k( @. d6 J. H
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
( a5 q. u$ F  u- |) ~Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
0 p8 {& t+ _5 k, Z# F2 ZHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.% _% t) ]* g1 N
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。/ q, F* q  j" d: x* k
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
- d& z/ {1 U) G0 uHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.2 q. {4 x3 o. o  Y$ D' ?0 x9 L
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）- D: l/ _( z, o
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。4 j% Z, c$ ?% |- Y9 ~
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
0 t1 S0 N1 [. R6 HBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
0 M0 D, y- O/ w  ^) `Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）6 t" M4 l) Y. K) P0 b
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
3 n, x; x. h3 U8 g* ~Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）% t4 F- U! B' \' O& l/ S( P
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。$ U  {; J+ f; U- n# w2 h
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）% }/ Z7 d( R0 S" e" \. s
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/ N' O9 H1 y2 m警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
( C4 g$ H6 I2 aLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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- M. L! ^4 c" y# h! C! j接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
: F3 [, q0 ]5 e, {+ M& b% Z话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。6 Q+ @$ E% r  z
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
3 T% X7 h8 g: L" R& _9 i% n6 b1 hWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）2 [* x9 p& T9 F1 ]) V/ V  t
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）: j7 ~) K3 v5 _2 u4 _( {' P1 Q
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
) Y* R/ h3 g# Q8 V' Y" x9 i) w5 YWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
! T) R# m* j5 BHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）1 H7 ^  W( }+ u2 a
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
6 T- I" O. S/ ~Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
. Z9 B/ |1 @8 D  sWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
  T$ G; x% ~4 p+ Q3 f) FMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
2 B+ d/ \% V" f8 A4 ?- o2 _（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）+ O, i9 [. t& d! x% S6 z
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……