《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。3 x$ `( V" X/ X
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
' z+ \! w! \, @2 I! aHolmes: I just picked it up.
" r+ p0 A) W: e2 S7 }Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）# e0 q' W  C+ H1 K/ u9 a7 p& |" w
Holmes: Knew I forgot something., e& H0 P4 B2 t  ?
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
/ M* I) W9 Q( EHolmes: You did.$ q1 G. E, n- z" I' A' S
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）9 Y& H8 F6 y2 V, c( E' R
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。0 k" @3 m; M* f9 _+ m1 v3 c2 a
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
4 C8 H8 j; b" ]; f; N1 [Holmes: Granted.2 L  w, O# d( {5 O, }  ~) N+ ?7 v
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。  Z. a4 B  h  A9 p
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）& B& r2 P1 p" }  z
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
8 x2 Z1 \6 R2 @# Z! p7 T4 QWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。3 q2 |7 _/ T" z  l# f# K& J" u" a
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, A1 _; L' F0 O: K! YBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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# z4 B: F9 H1 C( e9 b- m6 TIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
0 g5 g3 F- h* }2 FHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）  y" m; w3 e! T0 @+ _
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.8 D, ^) [" B3 a7 Q" n
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
- A! ~. t* [; u/ JHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）2 ]1 }2 e& v7 ?) c
Watson: Get that out of my face.' y+ [+ S3 l$ {" b) I8 t
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.. }1 C) j8 o/ A* U) `# n' m9 V
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.7 h7 L9 O* R. E1 l; i  i, X
路人警官Clarky上场。
/ n% t  }9 d$ Z5 A! q9 eClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
$ C7 L6 d2 l$ a+ u" ]Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）, ^+ a3 E. ~  |
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
& D1 [( ?$ U+ pWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
6 u7 a9 ^, s! f3 h% l: ]Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.' Y: J7 o+ _! B3 g- l5 F
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4 v, E5 a8 ^6 J! M/ d0 Y墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。3 q- I/ g- u( ]% w( Q9 R) _
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
5 h- D* ^# V8 m% l0 A: ZHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
, V" m( J# ^3 R0 u( BWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）' ^9 w9 k, }. i
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。0 Y! u. {* |' F
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）2 y0 t6 U  i3 u
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…- y" e/ D: P. F4 r/ c8 B
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
5 ]; p1 b! y; J死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
5 b8 U* K8 q" y2 @8 O5 {8 _Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）( j4 t2 u3 V  M9 m& o; c  V
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
- |0 G" W0 u7 z9 [- UHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）$ L0 N2 N2 l4 E: a8 j
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。4 X' @0 P+ P0 k) q
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。3 ]9 s8 a5 p1 y2 B
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
5 U! [4 P) {* o' L3 E& vHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
  C% H% L0 o4 u# ?Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
( _& i  P; q' r9 S' H$ FHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
' P4 J' l2 _/ u, X5 M$ F8 m2 eMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?0 p- d+ z# Q" T' |
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）' s% _9 R7 h. Y6 f+ ^
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）, E1 {5 I% u! A# H* Q
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）2 c  ]* W+ P8 V, l; R* I
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
& F8 B  n6 h4 J! hWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）8 I+ m& _1 c# ]$ @+ X) Y
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
8 j' N8 X! B! l: p（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）. H; K  D: ~( \& W" g- K7 _8 [
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……