《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
! H' _! V7 y6 x6 i1 `( MWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）* b8 x. }1 H$ T: M, _# O
Holmes: I just picked it up.
0 v9 d6 m6 Z4 ~; bWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）" t* ]! M: |! ]/ G
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.& q* C( U7 y3 K6 n( L5 y
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
/ m; q6 J$ r4 x4 ]3 r9 e/ P9 v; hHolmes: You did.
4 _4 ?: Z  ~( ~3 a/ v$ v（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）: x4 G7 a3 _1 v, t( J
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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" H4 F. K7 y. a7 L+ N3 A& h宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。& U# @3 k9 z0 J+ s: L4 [* M6 r0 L
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
% E/ \' `* T: ^& r7 ?# ]5 Z' yHolmes: Granted.7 j" [! {; o4 g  P5 @) Q/ K7 {
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6 R+ C- v0 z5 v6 F: O- q晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。# o* X% L- L! ?  e# A+ ^; ~( C1 r
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）& L  c" Y8 x0 G$ Y* T4 ?
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。6 f9 T0 v/ W) y1 a) j  G- P, F9 A' I
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" L9 Z! }8 f! V9 L- [7 aWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
! y& V& w2 P1 x4 [7 h: RWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）( v/ H  }* F7 I. D$ m
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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5 O+ w4 u2 R, LIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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3 M( V6 }; j# Y$ R6 H) t1 kIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?/ S2 P7 l4 f# Y: ]4 v5 o
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）8 @6 Z4 T+ _6 |( I
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
4 l: O+ d+ u8 y1 K; NHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）& x2 L- X/ N1 P2 y0 }) k
Watson: Get that out of my face.9 j$ X" }$ k' |0 n5 P  P
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.1 D# ?( b7 ^6 y
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
! x9 }& {# J' V$ [路人警官Clarky上场。3 m$ M: _4 ?! E& [  s1 H4 V. I4 R
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.$ {; A6 J5 O9 X+ n5 q- t; {, r
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
3 T4 `& _0 K9 q/ t/ g( R+ @) f得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。1 L! b7 }5 i4 {
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?' w8 ^+ A2 O& @5 l1 s9 k$ {
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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+ s# N3 a4 p4 u' L7 {Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
& F) ?: w* H0 a& m% \  p- \Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）" r, x& s. E* U$ h" g  t
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$ g0 S4 \9 m) Z4 o0 d9 ?河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
, j; |; O5 l2 O/ ?8 I  H2 h7 Q5 BHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
! ]; O/ ^' \" L( ]. _5 ~0 yBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
+ {3 r  f% E9 w# i, k" ^" L( rWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）% l8 F. ?  H# a! v
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
7 u5 m  R0 X/ K! h' B! O7 \Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
, J: u' j( K8 c, i, h2 t后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。& _: l7 K! v) \# @! z/ h% @% O* }' x
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）. ?2 ]6 b& H0 i3 {% z
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' B- g! _6 v- i% ]3 w# _% d$ K3 V警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。) x" j, e* E2 v) L$ I: J! l0 |
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
( k7 m! B8 _8 A# p& c! j. @* n5 s话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。  j1 e- v2 i' D" e) ?9 L) Q
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）' q/ L. n, ]  C, J. d
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）& z0 Z( Q9 k) L0 z7 w! O% E
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）8 [# X" w2 A4 o
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
8 C* d' w" \" ]3 E/ lWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）! C1 f5 ]0 D% c, M2 V$ o
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
7 W# u+ G6 ^4 cWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）! p7 j( z/ A, J% y! p$ r' q
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
8 [, K2 c3 o  y. P1 f- |# hWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
6 M( b, j4 D/ N  s) F: zMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
9 k3 [% p9 h0 A( M& ~) f( S（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）9 J+ \) c+ ]6 O$ z! k- @' m* H  V
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……