《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。. S9 W1 E# s. i; O
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8 u/ x, _: b3 R% O  v影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
5 U6 B3 t' D0 k& T& N# r: c1 d: J4 XWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
% o6 y( K9 [  [Holmes: I just picked it up.
+ v! g1 X" f: _+ q; h) C# S) F2 EWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
) t) H' c) R7 z& U2 ]Holmes: Knew I forgot something.9 |' E0 f9 M; K
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
& U$ g/ ]! p. r/ x. f" aHolmes: You did.
; i3 J! Y5 u: I, O4 `（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
. j+ ^" G9 x; A# pHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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( N- I# W  \- c, {+ S6 x/ c( ?& U宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
& o6 O* T6 a- ^# cWatson: Permission to enter the armory.; k; `0 d9 @6 e- P
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。, u( b4 B. a3 \( }' b
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）+ {. w9 }# S+ k; L( S3 g
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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$ G: I3 g6 Z6 E" q& o6 V8 F+ nWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
2 K: S1 G, D$ J5 uWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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4 \3 W" N. q8 t: ~+ i: t" f2 q+ e* tHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。) K/ l# w3 b7 ~9 N
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2 T+ v# @  X" V' s8 xBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。+ i6 X* e! ~7 U" R) [# N8 O
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! }! H* N4 o$ O( q0 w7 U3 \6 fIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
: ?1 {; `6 J& x; c) f7 I! s# ?（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）9 E, \: `9 o7 h- _
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
4 S- }+ `: m- `+ }9 mHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
  R2 [: N3 ]6 m9 hIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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0 s3 Y5 e4 i) gIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。3 V1 N/ |! a) s' ?+ Z3 I, R
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）. a1 m" Z$ G; O9 R+ l, r
Watson: Get that out of my face.
; k8 G+ O0 B  T, Y) I. `$ I2 ZHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.. G# ^3 W# o6 S; W' w4 \/ e2 N
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.' S+ L/ n* m% ~6 y; V: z! v/ a- M
路人警官Clarky上场。
% J6 x0 P: V* O# {! FClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.* A* M3 ]: p( ?* B% \4 `  r2 A2 _
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
  c" p- [  \2 F& c- h得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。2 a+ {& p, f' W0 i0 w9 A8 C0 z
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?( i$ S: e- O. P# z8 n
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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  ^" w" I' U) l* t1 [  s. b# q墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。/ a% u. K# @% B/ `! |/ X
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
" p; M  X. B, ?! c# L- R6 L2 g( ZHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.0 G3 Q& `2 B* Y! E6 z
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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0 J7 t+ u) Y% ~' b1 Y- T河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
; ^# x2 i/ m& SHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
# L2 d( |( z* C: \Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
- s* N* N4 b; F& A5 w! O1 WWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）! G) Z5 }! n) Y$ w5 i. \) u
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。7 I  }2 K& }$ x  c' Z
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）6 }# `4 R8 |  [( W
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
- \, N2 b5 b3 q* M+ k) A( X8 aHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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- Y; B' e' n' N9 K$ Z0 P警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
/ u6 C6 z  }% V& N. gLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.  F6 c% U6 S# K
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
7 f6 w) L1 {3 D: ~8 M+ f话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
1 w* @3 j: L% E& {* `* v3 I- B6 LHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
! K- w% e$ l2 M: H' U: D4 CWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）' Z2 W9 x. g$ ~' p9 n$ }
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
" E3 ^3 F  T7 q/ ^- ~Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
2 J5 T0 n$ `9 m" w$ z9 MWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
4 R; R0 j. J2 t! }+ `. i. CHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）2 j$ O9 X6 y0 d8 P! ~
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
& \" q2 e0 e1 ?$ B. zHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
: p% y0 {1 d- {. d- T" hWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
! e2 Y9 M& B5 c+ G# b$ kMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
7 Y* }9 w8 ?1 _! y, ?, N# i9 H（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）  O# P/ C$ p, H: m2 v7 G- Q, c
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8 H' T2 r7 \7 i  m8 l3 C总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……