《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。# b0 d5 a/ }# b- e0 ?
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。7 b; n$ d! u9 |6 x$ R) W
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
+ `4 q3 ^% b; X/ U5 G6 `1 @Holmes: I just picked it up., v* @" B  e6 P- f! p
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
# S( E1 l* J, F1 D% u* aHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
7 j" ^/ w: F6 {( w7 d/ }6 l. D, |Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
9 G, j' G& [' L8 x* `; oHolmes: You did.+ [- O7 u. s* B8 b, _( D
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）) Q# {. `) j/ }3 }. \5 K
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
  ]& H' e; y3 _' e, WWatson: Permission to enter the armory.; K3 F1 F% J9 y& v( |3 e
Holmes: Granted.$ q/ F) O7 `6 T! l; F7 ^
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; Y; x- B2 _4 m2 ?9 R晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
/ X! j" |0 a1 T' k; SWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）/ R5 h9 D, E$ j( T( p
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。$ v- {6 Y4 J, r* o% o
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。* O; [3 l( B4 ^, W/ C! [+ Z
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）7 K' i! `+ `' K. `9 R
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。$ F0 I- t% @6 O: d$ y8 f; f
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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- v% R. H7 B4 X& h  D: [$ G: PIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。% w* E1 v# o# ^
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
1 Z* N* T; q  _  E% IIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?: s3 m0 N) N9 ~% N0 ~+ B) U
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
% q0 p# `/ K5 J- ?' }! kIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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' A6 V9 G' v. x" cIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
5 ?4 \% s0 Y( m9 jHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
1 f; Y! h+ J1 [6 f9 N  |1 y9 ^Watson: Get that out of my face.
7 U2 H8 c/ @/ G3 u. d0 ]$ u% ^Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
1 l4 Q& b$ F, Z6 }, Y3 GWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.5 e5 A! l4 F7 G4 A0 {
路人警官Clarky上场。4 w3 C# K" j3 P% }
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.* @; S% T! ]+ h; |1 i
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）, J0 h0 @9 l4 Q2 F6 `8 s% f2 f
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。& j' X7 L5 |3 R- W* \! Y
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?6 `; w5 ?7 Z) g6 k: X% H$ f
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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: r3 ~/ K8 r+ K7 p  y+ s1 t墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
% Z) F* o: F: a, V' K6 J: S1 [（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）$ V! X& i/ V$ }* l& ~+ ?5 s3 `4 R6 \
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
; W5 T  @/ t. ]4 OWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）4 U" w, w6 C0 k5 Y5 D
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
9 D* x9 i) O) v! yHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
  A/ l% c5 t1 s' vBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
4 F! S1 h+ @! R/ _3 |' U) l/ EWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）+ B! m0 _; V7 M
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。/ @* }# @* _" {0 l! ^2 n! i8 ~
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
% @( I* }6 _/ z, d. ]& K后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
7 d4 [( {( a$ q" N' G' ^Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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8 L) q7 i. Z4 |2 f7 \: d警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
1 U( M" o  s. q5 q! j. SLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.2 Y4 k2 G6 b$ t' E! R8 K' r
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4 y5 L  Z4 ~2 ^! p. X$ S& J接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
0 [4 ~% O: V/ c# t4 u9 x+ `: s7 `话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。' H2 ?1 }/ Z* K8 ~+ ^- M( d
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
" n( y) k. M) |( \Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）& Z. r- t& Y& N% C
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）6 O/ G' |' `- V
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?+ o0 a* g( |0 ]7 n9 p! _
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）2 p% [5 d! O* j% Y
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）1 |! U- U4 J' F/ U% G+ _) ~9 v$ h
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
" p/ v( o. J$ }4 S, P2 ?Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）$ g) @  ?7 Y% U' ?
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）/ ?* A( h$ ]; i# {
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）  z4 y6 V' T! N6 d8 s: g
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……