《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
0 M+ P. v, A% a" L1 j0 uWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）/ W( V; {( l# z. p# g
Holmes: I just picked it up.
4 C6 B! {3 e( x) u; {Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
6 H: p" M) u6 H* r- Q  Q* oHolmes: Knew I forgot something.' |1 E4 i' S5 ?3 j& S
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
5 P5 R. @+ |5 _9 s! i. i# HHolmes: You did.# u' v5 \! m2 `% \* @, c0 F
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）: k: P4 ^. b3 M. N8 m
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.2 z6 Z" A2 n- Q5 N( B# \. l  _
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。3 P5 |( \- t! g) [* y
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
! }2 o* N2 e0 VHolmes: Granted.
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: E$ c4 y" p" b/ t( C# T晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。6 `( V* c/ q3 @: r+ L5 x
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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; l: J4 r& h9 T+ O+ y# t拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
0 J7 k% ~% q* s& q, iWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。. s" s) N7 G/ U( w: e. K# _& I* m
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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! F, ^& q  w0 F1 l8 fIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。+ {, [. D7 l7 u7 I6 c4 R
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
8 ?0 R8 a2 ^3 iIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
0 u* J/ Z4 X) {3 j0 T% QHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）+ s& Z5 b. N" k* V
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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+ r! G; r+ K* ^$ d3 iIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。6 @/ z! s) n8 Q- _# K! S
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）% I) G0 H; R! u4 K; s" ^
Watson: Get that out of my face.0 L7 I1 y5 s) r! R7 l5 a
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
0 Q% T& @8 r9 U8 C0 t* NWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.. I% y# s  K0 x( ]
路人警官Clarky上场。9 N2 v$ j* [6 j! C* R, ?3 @$ f
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.6 z) A+ [1 u# u( Q9 d7 w3 b% A
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
" u- b: E% Q# Z得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。1 s" `' p, i6 `, M& t
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
  B# G3 L3 H+ N% k$ ]Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.# p; V. X- O$ Q$ l1 i
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely., G+ d! E& o7 o$ p
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）# {. C' z6 S+ O/ a
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5 e$ l8 x) S9 z* q4 L河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。+ e( V2 x# I) I0 x. u( a" Y9 M
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）! ~' N) z- P3 K! {6 e( ?8 V- p
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…- E0 N. f4 W7 L# e
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
" r, ^" J% j' z  p3 }死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。6 i6 L" x- n' \% T7 _  U* M1 y
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
3 o6 N0 Q5 a: b后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。& i* I1 U( k. a& @( g
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）0 ^1 K3 I5 ~7 f, Z5 I6 _5 e+ E
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$ g8 S. n. T/ l6 Q, Z警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
' m1 n3 a( ]2 }0 kLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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% V$ ~; D3 M( v4 J( c9 p2 A3 h接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。, Q4 w+ z' G* B. l6 W
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
4 x7 q$ o0 L4 n" G0 g3 pHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）1 H, p1 K% S' D' |# H+ N2 d2 P
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）0 b) A2 {: G* q: h
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）5 s# x( j: u1 x; O
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
$ K2 z! J' n, }& Z# a6 e( YWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
8 @) N- G3 J0 Y8 E  IHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
" d' u2 [& |  \5 B; `: c4 CWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
' v$ _( ^1 l  Q0 N2 N4 CHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）" S0 M+ A' q/ j* r, d
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）6 {$ t; U8 t& Y' R
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
# I7 c% T& x2 b+ A（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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0 c2 X) C5 @0 C2 t+ U) E" d. _总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……