《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。0 R7 b2 C" L/ D* a+ {5 [! J
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。5 P4 }" A! W0 G; p( E2 ~
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
. K9 M3 T6 I9 B( B! z1 w7 X( c5 wHolmes: I just picked it up./ C" X# O1 ?8 L5 |# D/ R! v
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）# C* W8 [2 L4 C( F
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.1 i  M& D+ ^; l1 S
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
  o) C9 A8 k) I' j" _; cHolmes: You did.) j5 Q' R. T( n/ {& N, g
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
7 T1 A5 U% G- u" v, rHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.4 F/ a( D: \6 _
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" i8 [6 _$ a* D4 Q宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。+ j% S8 z. l7 p. r; m
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.( v) W1 W* K2 Q9 x; }7 i6 K" }
Holmes: Granted.
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: Z4 C* X/ p: C! O晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
1 _7 D; F' @$ f1 M$ l' i4 T' uWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。2 r. S. p; [4 e8 p5 S+ N3 D
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/ |; F. Y3 Y, b9 s' u8 w' NWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。+ }  A3 b7 g: J- V5 ?, z
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。6 |2 G8 Q0 R# V. I
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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0 X' g) ^* B2 |1 NIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
4 ^& i( ~- Y! i2 [（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）3 @7 M* j, U9 e( B
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?8 h( |% m* P  s
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
2 p$ M6 H. ~8 t! v4 }6 J) H6 iIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.7 i4 |: r5 a( }5 f& w
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
/ c3 N# s% ]" e" XHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）" f3 B1 O/ `% m  C$ k5 B8 f# L8 c
Watson: Get that out of my face.; {& T) T( D1 W
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
# A* _" d, N$ K' LWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
8 U; D& ]/ H3 R! b) U% F% n4 V; J路人警官Clarky上场。
  ]& C( P8 o. V' I' ^* }2 TClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
. e  v) Y! F/ N* d! y: ?* uHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
1 x* _6 W) Y7 T3 M* b8 L* V得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
0 _. M3 S$ A6 A/ _, y, m$ @  IWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?" d! T9 ?  c* t# O. G- _
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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3 n8 h/ N- }9 u& c# ?7 F5 Q0 O墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。$ A3 l0 Q) O* b" z& Q: M2 G, X
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）; \6 o" }2 q, G. ^3 i; I  E
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
4 U6 @- k' y- q, |! o. g9 `6 @Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）8 _6 S6 f& Z4 E6 a3 }
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。" B4 v" R; K& p9 I0 E
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）. f, h! W7 w  n- V# D# [; B
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
4 Z) ^3 |! T9 k! Q/ |0 JWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
8 N4 j9 B' w( ]/ v1 [$ n7 I死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
0 P+ i1 k7 o' B, ~# eHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
/ F8 q# \& @0 H" q后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。# T% U" ]$ d9 |& g# \
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）, \6 i& t3 Z+ _% }& h
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
: `; u7 Q; m. E9 E0 g+ }5 jLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。6 k& g* `) A! w: w1 Y
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。! N% N" [! P# b- e: b
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
' Y4 V7 K+ k4 B2 n7 }Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）0 b- ]1 H, s/ u' B3 `
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
5 d. l$ Q( _$ nMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?5 E, b  F4 m8 x  q) X( P
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）+ c; ?- d; d$ h) i
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
9 T: |9 m3 R8 {2 nWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
( @& c. g8 `: j$ c6 o4 ]Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
9 h" Y2 x8 E. c7 v- }* tWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
2 S6 _9 S# a3 c0 DMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）& U2 p2 p0 R# t6 Q0 M8 H
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）7 o3 n" k% O+ @8 ~0 }( c- g- w
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7 g5 D- Z/ E. r7 g/ x  H: n总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……