《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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: T* Z, \, ~; Z. t+ e" K  w影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
8 [: s/ Y. o3 e1 f& @Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）0 T, G! C. D  O) W
Holmes: I just picked it up.# D, C5 ~8 o) W
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
" P+ m% `5 N/ b2 w9 oHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
' B  I  ~. |0 t  o# G) _Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
4 Y9 p: }" h/ C2 S% SHolmes: You did.6 ~' t, \4 a) S# p
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
6 T4 r* T! M: s- }& {Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。$ ~7 A# j4 P7 M4 \# E4 c
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
( t( |% \1 Y' u  X2 A  wHolmes: Granted.. j/ d" U2 V. V, Y9 Y, |8 ^9 j
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& d, @/ K2 Y/ n, t晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
) E# T5 u& I  s) V- x! sWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）2 ~! @& \( G( {4 a6 U: G! l: }# p
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。4 R" ~# @; O+ U- U4 o7 a
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）3 G( R3 o) B. [0 x: [) b& a$ d
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7 i0 A7 r& u: c! ?6 YHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。: x) A* [+ [9 {3 q+ f! [
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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8 @6 g0 M- Z6 @/ s% ]Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。/ T/ M4 r5 r5 z" @
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
! l7 F- u* a8 K" h: J" fIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?% Q1 H5 m. d5 \9 d
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）0 T2 V, ^) r" z0 S; G& f- H
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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8 u6 y! W5 S; N4 }5 dIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。. h, l+ t4 }7 c
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
! q* o. ]; F% Q( l' L) K! J5 }Watson: Get that out of my face.
! u9 G$ H7 F* dHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
& s2 m& M. Q& L0 S4 Z. J; ]% _8 \Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
( ]0 e, |5 |; q* g* }路人警官Clarky上场。/ {8 Q4 ?7 J! T  G$ L
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
" D' d7 E! c+ F2 N2 J: eHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
* `. F' e, F* @6 F9 B" }得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。! m& |" U, c) E/ d7 x5 z
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?8 R% U# a: U: z3 d8 z
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.' u. f; K% j6 M, U  M, b
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
7 |/ f" w/ U3 z9 N. q（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）, r) E5 h3 r7 o/ L1 m2 s. A
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.2 U: n6 ~& X6 m: J% Z% U3 x
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
! @. x/ r7 [9 E" i  a# Y. CHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
6 x% Z9 F% a5 `  Y% ~! wBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
+ J) q& {: G9 [4 B' q; p# wWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
: S& ]% n9 S2 H: x/ Y3 {死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
! M5 n6 I1 \, h: LHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
; u: t1 d. M  N$ B! f/ h后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
- ]& i* Z  T" y; Q+ Z& ?Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。+ I$ U: j, U1 b. u/ w( N. P1 c
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.' B2 b# v; h: N% M9 U; b$ e
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4 f# Q1 L" q6 }' d接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。3 Q4 v& Y! M' j' S* k; u) e6 \
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。6 l+ X; |9 r  m- ?/ h& x2 c
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）1 G7 I4 ]: q$ K
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
( R2 b8 Y7 I, `9 w3 e8 h! wHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
' U* g$ A# j0 `# V& ^3 xMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
' a8 g9 l* x/ O- J8 I! w* Q) kWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
5 {1 Q( a  B% v5 RHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）. S' j7 w3 l4 ?9 l
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
9 E2 c1 a1 l, e2 f8 o" [; p( RHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）8 m4 z* Q' r$ q) B! M
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）  g% ]' a2 C1 a, L0 E; K" V1 P
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）$ p; P4 t2 m: M( P4 _, {6 G
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……