《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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1 B. T% [3 u! V7 m3 X! V影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。. z4 j. y* S+ t% X
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）1 H2 Y' @  G* F6 \- W- Z
Holmes: I just picked it up./ r7 {$ ]' H5 o( c4 j
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
( w! o+ r2 I' F1 yHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
' J( i3 B# f0 b. EWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）! g5 X& \( ]4 H/ N
Holmes: You did.$ e& ]' |  v7 \) ^/ T  y' w
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）9 x# h+ M# V' T; W/ b
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
# d: _; o/ f! `& i- OWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
( g) \- W, ]1 P5 X$ F) PHolmes: Granted.; m* ]/ g$ n, ?# q8 }1 H
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! k; q2 Z+ X  e+ u- L晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
  b/ j+ V& U  X' s; v; zWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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' y7 }. f( ~% t) W; m拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。6 R3 y0 a2 V' x7 k4 W
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: C, G2 L4 Z/ B. d; K1 V0 vWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。$ y$ \  P2 o4 `5 a" x- |
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）; o8 n$ `$ ]: Q+ L
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。# d7 N$ j) n- {1 T6 H1 Y
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。& ^; V% [  I2 X# M$ V/ D9 V: @2 c
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# B% z. N5 S' p- `; n2 i! Z7 Y/ IIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。8 r% i/ }& N, e8 d; `
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）, K! C! W- @4 y0 L* a7 R5 J
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?% K7 ?) y% ?9 u# C8 Z% C
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）9 H) I) x8 o8 c6 }8 C4 S& x/ C
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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$ \- f6 Z) c: G. d( m0 [Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
; d7 C0 M+ J6 l! [# ?Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）* n; U* C5 X$ _* b. O) }
Watson: Get that out of my face.
! q/ F& u" r: w/ w6 f. T: h4 HHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand." I* y3 ]! Q4 o1 k% Y% ~6 b9 H
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.9 ?9 s- x& o' M- e' o9 x! m
路人警官Clarky上场。3 `: L& t# J4 C# u' m& c
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once./ l3 N( g' i% Y
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
' g/ O0 d) \! i% L% W/ ]得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
8 W; a4 t* ?7 L8 L4 pWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?7 i) |  `$ E0 I, V& Q. n
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.( Z1 K5 c7 n4 X! \
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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7 {, K) H' U. n  B! k& @9 }# L" EHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
! o8 X; D6 @2 S* [$ G0 N6 ?) oWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。( f  i8 C: y0 c
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
+ B' ]; b1 G+ d3 BBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…- {+ l0 |; D+ U0 e3 Z" D" @
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
$ L1 Q; U. X% Y3 s3 L% Z, R死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。. B/ [" A" L5 S% E$ K% y9 Y
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）% N" P# p8 A/ K3 X
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
/ A1 w4 L* P$ z; n) w, D$ a9 dHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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7 j, w/ T% E9 a/ {9 @" M+ B警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
0 N1 K# N$ k% }% d1 J' HLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.8 h+ \4 l5 y& y1 N) e- _( g$ F* |
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; U; S% d6 `7 B7 j3 O接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。5 @/ G8 _+ w- ^: @9 R8 D) d
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
. V& Y- Q. _/ s8 \; tHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
, U; _* }$ G0 ^# s: l9 \Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）9 K8 v. K3 f7 t% s* I) e0 z. h
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
3 e5 y$ S! I; I( d' B9 G$ jMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
4 w7 _' X0 Q9 _8 EWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）; N/ w: t( x# S3 r6 g4 [
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）! t3 `! f1 X8 M# \
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）$ P; h" @$ M  ]1 f" U9 ?, Q8 v
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）1 }7 Z# i- ]& C5 `
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
, i+ A- d, p8 gMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）4 k  e+ n' L) _. ^4 ~5 A6 z0 I
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）. y* H  j3 P% K5 B" R' l2 R4 B
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( t) a0 x, V  |4 C总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……