《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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$ i  w, M: g( Z4 ~  e影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
/ v9 Y7 ^, M5 L5 k: c: tWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）( \- O* X$ l9 @1 b( G
Holmes: I just picked it up.; e! i5 U$ R/ P; l& m7 s
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）& B, {' h* H" K7 ~7 g
Holmes: Knew I forgot something." \9 h( K" Y; V' ?7 q
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）" P+ D1 E1 d9 |$ R" ]5 p
Holmes: You did.3 m5 Y6 g8 f& E% |$ ~9 R
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）# T5 U4 Y6 @7 ]/ e( Q
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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8 {/ e. _4 ~- o6 b宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
. G; L5 I4 O, y" h! W1 f( oWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
1 _' B: y( z9 b6 L9 \Holmes: Granted.& C. B4 ?8 U6 S$ O) g' K4 g
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
& k, T: d+ q8 C6 s. g' j! P) FWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）6 S' O. r: Q/ ]% q9 l' ?
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" j. f2 D$ v* D) x1 @; r% ?  z拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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8 y( ~9 ?  i  sWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。/ [  P" T. f3 t9 d3 \
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）# q6 A, A8 B: E5 u
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。1 L; x0 ^, O3 B9 y7 p% k
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9 h2 M  X% |: B# p/ |Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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* |1 q6 E5 Q1 y! c3 W- uIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?9 ~/ A1 [( u- ~; V: i! q
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
0 x5 j- ~* l4 _Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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1 W* J9 d  I0 g( v" aIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
9 E2 X* F+ z" g4 p, m$ z. tHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
* }/ F8 E' I. G. K, [, k& {$ ?Watson: Get that out of my face.% T  D2 Y- b1 w8 H5 p4 o
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.7 @7 Z, {& b5 t  g3 q/ H/ [
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
! V' [4 {  j  T9 {路人警官Clarky上场。
% H$ H; b# x3 H& n, {1 FClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.* U, U% h; e6 Y) m7 v" x; S
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）; x. P1 A  v. z. V4 t0 h6 f
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。$ P4 |$ ^0 H, b2 ^
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
& m4 _/ e! F7 {/ h' NHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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, g' [. V. }2 _. P( B7 s7 ]$ e8 L墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。$ n) c# z% S# w* T) H6 `
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）, W4 O9 A8 u2 L! x# q9 _2 {2 w3 y
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.) l' }: W+ v. L6 }$ V
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
. o4 K5 {$ y/ |! i, _# m6 tHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
* B5 \- k6 }% TBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
# q6 \2 Y+ T' u# YWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
6 S% r7 b. t2 R7 [: z死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。2 J& P* q9 F2 D5 J6 S, F4 q  d
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
" x+ M/ I' N1 T; c6 [+ [后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
* G3 [0 g/ Z, d6 oHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）" h- X" F2 f" O* ]8 Z9 ^1 K
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% R. M# U) g$ C) b警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
1 x* z5 f6 T2 O7 h1 jLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.0 a0 R9 J9 A# z
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。' A/ X5 d* Z# ?4 t2 U
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。3 C1 r9 k# _/ r1 f4 o. ~4 q
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
# N' J4 q& A1 x4 p6 O7 |* O4 I. EWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）* Q! f+ ^, @) b( ], D8 l
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
9 N+ M) A! N9 [Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
& L) D: u2 m9 S1 K; VWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）( i. v( j5 o) T' ?1 Q
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
9 B( f4 e& I: g- z9 A% E% u7 F+ e) E& LWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）$ E! a4 V! Z+ \# z# s! u
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
4 X  s! J. ~5 Y+ {- _. YWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
8 D% K/ h; f0 rMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）& z& s: d  m& L! V" I3 M, r9 V
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）7 u) l' U* G! K# o
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! y8 i9 E$ Z. K! l总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……