《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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+ a" o! U4 l1 N0 e" ?7 [影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。! \( K% w$ V7 K7 X8 T+ c
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）8 a0 Z3 X1 q0 m% l
Holmes: I just picked it up.' l# ?  t5 f, U
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）7 o. G" M) L4 U4 f/ G/ d
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
" G- n' t- W8 T% @9 _8 ^7 x! rWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
0 o8 }9 a/ H7 w& K: x# L  ~, MHolmes: You did.' o! ~1 O0 {; R+ ?
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
5 K% L+ t/ @- {Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。; v! e/ M' f5 f6 C9 }
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.5 \& E( ]/ K: @. U4 B7 Y
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。" @' N7 S4 q2 Z  f* \* ]$ W7 e- k
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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: t+ g  m9 E& w# x$ D+ x3 M! x拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。" l8 K2 o& b& E8 ]
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- V: ]0 ]9 i( Y5 J: G& H; Z" rWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。; C- ?3 C0 h+ _& ~. V$ E3 x' Z5 t2 X1 |
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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! [6 G2 X5 P; L# m  {Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。6 H- b' v! I9 }5 K" c
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。- I, c. v8 @! H& j7 N1 N1 O
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
6 O! w3 t" W. a! cIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
' K% j8 q- ~3 _+ }1 ^Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）* d4 i6 V0 Q9 V7 D( ^; T
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.; J0 x4 T3 a: t. [
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。3 L4 z" [! j; O; K7 I( U9 W
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）+ R7 _2 R* B. |! G. p% E$ C" X
Watson: Get that out of my face.) O: @4 z' w1 B8 q3 |; R# h6 P
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.- w, \0 F9 M( o+ A; l/ T
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
/ P6 V# [0 z! j- i路人警官Clarky上场。/ q; |+ v& y; S: m9 w" k+ z
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
4 z# J% r8 J- b+ o4 ]* FHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）: r0 P& `# ?& U2 F. s
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
2 n- ~5 b! O0 [& `* KWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
# i/ s5 w8 f. J/ c4 m, }Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.3 Z. I# U$ _2 G2 w* I  h
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6 q1 }% q& Y  c5 c# \& h墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。+ O1 l& H1 l) ]# x! j9 r
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
0 D+ B$ R4 _, k/ LHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
, I# o2 h) b# J  b% Q& M; b  J0 C  cWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。/ R9 B. L2 t" r' l4 j' f
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
: [# Z5 u# I) N- L& d6 x, _Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…" @, ~  [* u8 h  l5 n( x* Q
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）) T4 d+ H! t6 c$ T
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
9 A8 e% I8 B8 v6 ?* Y2 g3 r" GHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
& y2 C6 D! x+ _7 f( ^后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。( a4 c( P( S& T/ Y# L& [4 e
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。" _& P% Q2 y  {$ i2 {
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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3 K$ B. n9 \" N. [6 W7 B$ K& I接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。0 ?. x2 i- C9 O- F& b' d
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
$ i# F* T) `7 i0 M5 K. |& m; lHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）( _( \$ Q, s& h! U" T4 X/ d) r
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
, O. ^# y: [  W% {5 z- Z1 ]4 zHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）$ a7 T; L4 m& X4 M$ V
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?0 d* J+ W% ~9 x/ u
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
. I, {1 R! u$ g, f0 sHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
/ u3 B2 q$ |# mWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
  _9 ?- a# O( RHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
- @! K% {5 l9 \4 h& Z0 U0 v1 X$ fWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）9 D  X/ b* K% ^
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
% v' Z+ F7 e. J  H3 U+ B% L3 e（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）% s" C. I  N, y4 u; ^0 o  R: V4 ?
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3 t" C4 v8 t+ x! r6 ]总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……