 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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) ^' O M7 D3 _0 p8 D: ?) p# x影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
" M" c& y3 n/ k, ?- PWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) ' `9 E1 J4 _! V3 m$ ?6 b; n6 ~5 V
Holmes: I just picked it up.+ | ?2 @0 I! b" C( m( L/ w
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) + e5 H! B0 z. B/ U7 @
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
2 z0 [4 R# B1 t4 ?5 m9 W) iWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) 0 {# Z" Y* w& e/ q- C8 J6 d
Holmes: You did.6 H8 [( p% I' A
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
4 e: F% P E+ M! PHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.9 _1 J+ V D1 R% o. w
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 % r' N- x& @! c/ W5 l& s
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
- f% F1 ^& i) y. l& B: kHolmes: Granted.( d, Z/ \& \6 J3 x' d8 ~. ~; O
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# t8 ^3 t) }9 o晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
8 W g+ ], X$ k" HWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) ' E/ h8 I* e/ o) m) H, T
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 4 l" ^) Z- }" v* v" ]
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
s4 {' `' S+ g6 e3 i" F$ p% f9 c8 NWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) , A9 P; h( `. O' E
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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. A& s; i) B. a( H4 U: w$ cBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 : F; T1 ~) v8 b. K0 x7 `* w
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* n3 e7 b7 C L2 O" ~9 }0 S. ~Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 ( A V; @" Z$ \% }/ S' `( x; {
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
3 y$ [, J: W0 xIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
3 n! A8 U8 \' D8 a3 |Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 4 s W3 u4 J! P$ v8 F
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
! L. X* x7 J, g: HHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
; q) y. L5 O1 T# u3 Y; NWatson: Get that out of my face.3 J A! ~ v$ e# O) M6 b
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.: L7 W. d4 j5 x/ n7 `
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.# W6 Y# D0 @# |
路人警官 Clarky上场。
" b' Q$ b) v' Y- j; jClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.- O, g* E* ^# w8 `% c
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) + n* I6 t3 C+ y- O2 h- I( e2 p
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
5 F! [. u4 P: o* ~5 G9 ZWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?+ s% q2 t( B+ H4 B- f. Z( X- `( b
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.# X& j2 O! O% O$ S' b" G" I5 ]3 K
10.
6 r" d/ y: d+ o; |$ d墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
( `. ? J) a) J0 I( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) & Y T& b6 L3 O; _# D( n
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
$ v+ `) |+ f5 {" ~; N0 p; [6 eWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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8 A: T* ~8 _! h" d- d( o4 L河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
3 L$ s7 M9 L7 C( nHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) " S Q' L& B2 ?4 \9 e
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…# l) J- o9 Y% L+ M! ]# \
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 9 x3 `+ g+ r. c" X; I% {
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
6 ~9 b' t* d& ~" I# s6 WHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
/ M; @8 f2 R% m后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 + h+ R7 w/ }- i
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) # U2 N w4 q+ ]
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
) A; {& Z! L T3 @ SLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.: n. s2 X6 j/ l1 k
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 & {. {) I9 g* R0 z+ t$ t6 H
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
9 F9 F8 e5 j4 A0 C4 w. j7 n0 ZHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
) ?: n; G4 G' Z! LWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
! Y, v% [, g" y1 YHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
" L" ]+ P1 l/ T8 Z( T& t( cMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?, ~# U1 ?: [% e- y; R) n5 p# V
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) % g. ]4 B( m1 O% R* t1 D2 Y
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 7 ?9 ^7 O1 f. \* x' G$ W: q7 Q, b
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
" m9 v2 l" }$ g$ W. ~$ }Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
7 c" i* D: L+ E9 TWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) ! X8 n# F# J/ y2 e
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
, @( a! }5 ]$ y8 q# o/ a( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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" H2 `/ I# {1 h$ o1 c% Y7 E总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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