《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。6 c% E# R; S$ B( e6 T" h5 c/ p0 M/ e
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8 D6 t8 z: w3 T& _1 r影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
7 V: n$ `& e8 C/ u; r/ ^% YWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
: g7 ]0 w$ d2 s; f6 n5 j1 B: p' G& KHolmes: I just picked it up.3 a8 ]# J5 M% ?4 m1 M
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）' {. e* M- l" v! c! g
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.9 ?( `& Q* v/ @# s2 }
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
7 Q/ D; t- I9 P! }- OHolmes: You did.
, C/ I) B! k! O5 _# c, S& E; ~* z（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
# c& t* A4 w3 Z1 |0 @) ^( o# d  ]' jHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.( n. p; h: A: w6 Y) y0 S
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。+ d. D3 e3 e, b) @; W
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.+ M; x+ |: `+ v8 |
Holmes: Granted.: ]: |: r: T2 b$ X9 p3 l
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
/ ?" o5 C7 R( x3 i; mWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）3 d' s: g5 \# |
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。! D! Y- k/ `3 d! g( f- o
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
4 Z9 r+ z/ K3 J0 YWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）3 J4 V, u, e9 q) H8 A" m
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; d8 M+ U6 b  c+ M& I8 ]! _# gHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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6 o% b8 K3 o' |. HIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
5 }" Q& b2 m- _0 D& o7 S! |（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）! w% L3 @7 Y; z- D: t
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?( O+ n8 [/ N6 X1 ?" X
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
# R+ ~% E8 |6 \1 o, zIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.3 y* Z( ^! k4 F5 ~) X! I% [1 D" w: ~
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。! v3 @2 x* g& R) B8 Y! F5 b
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）$ z8 h% l  U7 E7 z+ @- O& Z) v
Watson: Get that out of my face.
# D1 a" c3 N! \$ l# z1 C: B# uHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand./ c, ~, d$ k0 y* W: ^
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
' h2 R, D7 p9 A/ L5 K5 @0 n6 P" k: O路人警官Clarky上场。
+ I: ]; G) ]1 s. OClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
* y/ v( ]4 F2 BHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
! k7 m0 e2 j& B5 r* E3 {得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。5 I: |3 G+ h1 R
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
# s* ~9 C8 `  m9 LHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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( ~% j# v. X) g; @2 s& V2 e2 k墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
7 R3 V7 r. l3 ?5 ~（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）  E' K. t$ p# h+ J$ E+ s
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.5 v  Z. k5 O" p! d* y
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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' V9 Y; i9 _9 }9 K: E0 O, \河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。; w, ?. K- U% H8 F3 j
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
' p8 N/ k& r  i% `- L, ], UBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…: c# C% Z/ Q4 v, y- Q' R/ T. b
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）* |! c- S/ q, k$ M* @& I" i
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
) T( B8 D( B7 g# {  UHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）# F0 l8 k# @5 |1 S
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。% u% B' |7 x$ u3 S
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
" i, A. c$ @" p1 ]8 j3 r4 wLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.8 Q0 r+ H/ ]3 d8 {6 m) {; v, P
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* |7 |7 P8 X0 V5 b5 L接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。2 d( |7 P' t( j5 D4 R
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
* s# \: ^" [0 w$ lHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
9 P8 e4 p3 R* xWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）- ^' d8 t& s# o  h" ~6 I
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）  ~: v8 i" P- W) w
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?3 h4 {4 _- _; K. w4 |4 g3 ]
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）  l6 X+ q* i7 z
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）" ?! s# i8 b' C# `; b& f; w
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）2 H( T, q' M: B& t/ X
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
  o# g# N; n2 \' [2 f! y$ TWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）+ Y* I/ o+ s9 x4 @& u
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
0 x9 B$ N! n3 A0 F1 N$ y（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……