《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。4 R- S: i, l% l; |; h
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。' w9 x; w0 K9 S  z" N5 U
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
* B( [% l2 b+ M7 j$ pHolmes: I just picked it up.
* N7 X. Q: W5 @1 [Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
! M1 C2 S+ p: A, ]Holmes: Knew I forgot something.1 c1 C3 W; N2 _" Q
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）, n" o, u+ \! a0 D* J1 B
Holmes: You did.
7 J" F# k& p, w5 {+ Y; A（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）% W9 _3 _1 V( P, q8 C  t
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.2 s: d# u. f5 r5 f! f+ ]
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  e" C' W/ E3 u9 D2 S宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
. ~  r5 K& z/ [9 `Watson: Permission to enter the armory.0 P. U2 R0 Q+ d2 e& M5 Z
Holmes: Granted./ Y' k8 J: ~/ C& o' o( V4 a  n
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。0 _! `& ]/ D# Y! y& k$ \0 E
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）8 ^& U: r7 b; ^
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1 v" h+ J/ b4 Q% i! U1 _拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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( g. o5 W# T) s; w2 wWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
+ F: j- n. q6 `$ [9 E0 X6 O% AWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）# K! w% R! b1 M- |# r% b" B- w
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。" Y# h# {# |- q% v+ f8 y" A6 J
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$ H' j0 p- F0 x" I* i- HBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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0 Z9 Y5 j$ i# F' e! `Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
( D! y4 \' n- ^; t（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）/ \% N2 Q0 M$ J" T. }0 Q5 K
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
" x5 Q* n1 Y0 P, E% oHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）, o% \  D! X9 Q3 R
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.  }. P; O6 g  l- C2 p
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+ a  j1 u# ]" lIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。) T0 `. l6 ^. j
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
. \6 o/ D% c. PWatson: Get that out of my face.( c" n2 ]$ J1 x, G* q" V7 S* w% |
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
( Y. u8 T& l0 G( e9 P2 |4 MWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
( s* f" l' N" s/ G0 `3 G! E: ]8 }路人警官Clarky上场。
5 m% W% d, T2 f7 h6 b) \Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
& @' `6 Q4 s+ `, n; ~: }0 T. pHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）7 h7 p9 C1 i1 b1 g0 m6 s( E+ ]4 I0 Q* a
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
7 c9 q$ H* B3 o) U; vWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
$ ?& y6 r  q4 OHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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: h9 K  g, P: |4 x! V- H" j. ?( V墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
& W0 B) z4 `" ?8 i/ @- i; m（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
  p, F7 V" o: e; @5 }0 t; UHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.. G- X- S& G9 V0 D4 I
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。( A# P/ B( S" u$ ]7 @. J
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
5 C  b+ K2 V: B0 F/ z9 gBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…7 Q4 K- x/ U. I% b2 m
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
5 f. g! ~: @. X死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。  P9 N3 p) c' o& r- L  |" d( ]
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）/ B" J8 h3 Z& S" y! y" I
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。! v4 r  e+ ^1 b
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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! N6 Y" }# O' [& P* a警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。8 Q8 [5 ]( x' x+ D" z
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
  J$ d! p1 D) S/ W4 e话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。2 }7 L, ^9 j4 S' @6 T) W
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
) j1 F$ t9 p* K$ ^Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
) {' w- U9 M# \( C, u; [- gHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）, k4 G8 Y+ u) X6 S. v$ W
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?! k( C' u) }' P6 e% w  F, {
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
7 @  N0 V7 U" p' u7 uHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
8 X7 f3 Y& X+ N* DWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
, C9 @8 [% A& j- l7 D7 T% `Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
8 {$ |9 ^* G( X0 S  wWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
" M8 L' @1 w7 P- H, f7 HMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
1 T; B6 \5 c# n' R: |（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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- v. n, M) ~+ r" `* M总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……