《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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8 ?3 G- E9 f, S9 w8 k5 J影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
/ ~$ t0 b& r) O, |" q( VWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
3 h" M' ]- O! t( w% x  m5 {" K, M  hHolmes: I just picked it up.4 a8 c( k0 B5 p
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）7 W4 I9 X& H; \0 }. w/ V- |
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.7 c' M# l/ Q% B/ w! }: n
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）! p9 s0 |- u+ J- M; _6 F4 @4 Z
Holmes: You did.
6 z& a) v8 a# K2 x; R# ?5 @（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
  |5 |) G8 X/ [1 d# oHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。% w: }9 S8 h# u0 N& W
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
7 Y2 k' B4 R  O" |2 H# L' ^2 hHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。2 b7 ?8 y7 m5 C, j' Y
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）% T+ X; S+ k, n4 X
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8 C8 B! J6 i" G* ?: @% D拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
  I3 w) x7 f; F: j$ NWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）7 ^* ~5 `7 T  a* @( |( S: p
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。# v8 Z& J/ I4 {" j+ q6 }- p, x
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. w: a# [, Y% r, I- D5 D8 F- VBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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# r# D) E& b6 p2 U1 c$ g) TIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。  F! X0 N% o" K7 x! r2 _6 ?
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
: ]! g) H/ \) X0 [- kIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?! {% F) G0 X  _% o( q
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
, F1 N- [; C& Y& q% k7 X$ |Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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, i# _9 e; w* @Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。+ l8 w, \1 N7 e( j
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
, `* v+ b' Y! |) B$ |+ C. m. mWatson: Get that out of my face.
" }% B* ]3 ~' S4 Y- C! hHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
  ]# |" S  D- N( [Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.( \* b7 G4 \! M
路人警官Clarky上场。
# q2 m5 N; N1 o. AClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
: f9 ^5 M) p( \3 dHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
+ T  o3 F; b) A/ s% A得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
1 }# O  L% s' UWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?, f$ Y$ ~+ i, Y  {- j
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not." D5 B; o, g- {& s1 {
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' i* w6 V: H, \( H/ g) O  C墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。, {- }: e$ T$ G- d3 l3 @) A
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
6 Z0 D; |& ^- }+ Z! c) _Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.: w$ ^+ ?+ K; s( h+ D1 |+ ?. Z3 D) @
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）7 w1 `: `: e) g& K# d: c
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2 f" J& e, v1 q9 ^3 D: i河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
$ O/ {% B; q8 Y; u7 ^Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）- b' @9 @% b+ a8 H1 `0 |+ l3 e
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…% ]' L1 O6 k% X- B" j# j3 L
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
( C5 s% P$ T" D( t死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。$ b0 ^7 U; O, v( f) S
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）. m6 M7 @" a. H! ]0 s
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
0 E7 G/ Z7 }2 V$ N5 W' Z0 `2 hHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）% w' L  O. ~2 \3 F# e
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: S3 S4 v& Y' M5 \/ n' V警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。7 Q3 j* V  B* F) z6 k1 K. i) Y
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.; v- A1 ]4 X# {) O
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( t/ y2 _. i/ N  A0 d接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
8 Y4 L  b( J+ P, y' ?话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。2 f: _8 F- {# ~
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
* n* C4 p! j) Z3 t/ R) {) e+ rWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）" Z1 i/ M1 o7 F( [) J2 R
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）4 F, [1 Q1 l: e5 p9 L% N. Z# l! j
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
% S, \1 N+ [! bWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）% a: b, L5 Q2 J1 t' l# C* r
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
% \& l8 b2 W0 e' O; sWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
7 A- [& s5 m$ f: G, u4 s+ EHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）- z/ K0 p5 [8 p
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）* C5 h7 J8 l: M- Y
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）6 Y5 n. f; |, A2 q) g2 i
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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! C$ w& J- [) ?总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……