《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。6 M# j3 K! A) X0 Q- F7 Y
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
5 c! H3 g0 u( k# ~7 }Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）5 c+ @: I* f5 z8 ~8 j# J! d0 I4 S
Holmes: I just picked it up.4 e7 @6 Q% }9 B  J  L
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）6 T: D( e7 P$ w& f/ S
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.7 o2 Q# o8 B9 j6 ?' C! }& X. }
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）* H; E8 g4 I# R: v9 q# @
Holmes: You did.
  J- v# e7 z( B' `8 j（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
9 v, `* C4 w* I# g) h: NHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.5 q* T6 m& F( Q/ g3 ^& a
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。* r, P6 O) A7 F+ i
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.' A9 {" o1 n1 q) }$ j6 u+ y
Holmes: Granted.; X1 K) ]2 S0 O9 S5 n
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0 L# }- K# \$ o: z" H# J晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。: \' R9 I) k  Z
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）2 T+ G& t: V. C  u9 h& L9 k
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。$ }% Z+ g- H% z$ m( l1 N
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。6 t0 z8 L( D& e0 G8 I
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。0 g( U7 h* N. E
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。. F: ]" c: K* U2 [6 z/ ]+ c) Y# o
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。$ r6 g" E( S) u& l! W
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
0 w1 {7 y' `9 C5 s+ v5 CIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
" |/ K6 j! ~  k8 N7 JHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
0 n  L# ]% g6 i/ R3 \Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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# A; R' t1 U6 [! n9 M7 MIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。2 L+ t; E0 T6 x- ^, |+ s1 i
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
3 ~# x% t+ B; s( X6 NWatson: Get that out of my face.7 j; U- `( N( x; Q3 e
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.0 v5 g, `7 n5 g7 H
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.9 t3 |/ k- X6 O
路人警官Clarky上场。5 A* _0 ]$ ?  F: A3 p  L' e# p
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.+ r. Z4 O1 A- z/ S' N2 c5 _' A1 x
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
- o' _4 `- Z7 s9 g得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
1 C3 S2 g5 d. Q) X8 H) U) YWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?& ^* ~1 X- l. [3 a1 Z! q
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
# j5 o6 e( |- `9 X% a（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
" I1 L$ c* p2 K5 Q, {& q& ?1 `Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
8 _" T- a; V6 }7 c  G5 b& \Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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- ^/ W+ N* p/ N$ Z! M7 x: j. `河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
3 b4 c0 V- e* pHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）( v% g0 e! R6 N  q' `
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
; G1 l5 f; \2 N- E- TWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
! r1 F1 a1 G# j/ C4 f1 P6 O2 x死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。  I9 b1 v# C5 P
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
! ^6 L- z6 Q0 Y3 C9 ?4 r后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
+ O+ b& z0 `+ h% q6 CHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。/ Y- s& W% e6 _: x4 W9 w+ j
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing., g6 [1 K4 m& Y3 r" Y) R& G& H
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
) z3 }6 |' j5 Z1 j$ p, c话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
( ^) @* u: F- V% f" |Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）8 N0 G1 [- u2 v& a
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）( s& y' W/ s3 O9 \
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
; G$ S1 v1 `6 \( `$ D0 OMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?  J/ X# I1 D( v! i. M
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）2 K4 B7 k! L: r6 p
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）8 h! y8 O9 J' f
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）; z7 Z/ Z. c2 Q1 {2 }1 \- C
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
8 Z3 j) z) b0 s" x, @) }# AWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）7 F( ], F8 x4 i
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）& Z  o) {2 @3 [
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）" j: I, y3 k0 y
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0 N4 e( u+ r3 j2 ?0 e2 M总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……