《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
& k- K, w! x* [  L0 k, m***********/ _& `& `: {  e
1．
4 K, _3 ~. l1 ?+ O, M, V影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。9 e+ X' |1 K! A( m0 Q' q5 j7 C! B
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）: K  r4 f8 A4 Q& Y2 a% g( R6 f/ a
Holmes: I just picked it up.( z" W% a7 S6 v3 V
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
4 }8 [9 X, \6 Z* g. q4 x" bHolmes: Knew I forgot something.' P) V( V' a* l1 D+ O' ]
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）, [' }6 q; V, W8 c/ h1 C
Holmes: You did.2 O$ F3 S& {5 O- H6 r) f
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）1 f+ D1 I, k* i6 {% M" G
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
% t; U4 H  A# l% E) X2．" c) R9 x, \. C/ n
宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
) j) t* ^9 m, n1 ZWatson: Permission to enter the armory.. [8 N- H/ t( q5 _! n( U# C- d
Holmes: Granted.* H1 R( i6 i$ F& H) r8 k: `
3.
8 @' y& h) Y* M8 Q( c( a晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。) B. E) o& D, l
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）6 T0 V& g7 }$ W4 C: C' U: l7 Y
4．
5 ^& ~" c. {( M  f* D拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
5 [3 U+ S5 T$ m. p1 K2 E5．7 Q5 S" j& W. n! A$ u
Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
: X$ r* ?* P$ j2 A! ]. \) CWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）4 ]5 x5 |( h# s* P
6．+ s6 i) \, W/ [8 P% Y
Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。; ]4 P2 I3 C) Y, d, Z6 D5 M
7．4 @/ m; N2 N, P. t/ q/ c: D
Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
( t$ x# F# f) J1 u8．
- k0 \3 K) q' P# J7 jIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
5 Y! ~7 ]* k7 n$ A. Q（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）) D8 V$ ~! {$ ]6 J. j" y
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?+ Y0 _+ P7 r- z& d  U
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）; C( Q4 I5 L7 t$ w7 u- s4 H% m4 p
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.6 |, A* j3 v& h
9．
. N4 K$ {8 |7 _0 wIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。0 `' f% `' P2 k
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）1 L" C1 H/ P9 m% k- i& ^7 w) j% e
Watson: Get that out of my face.
5 M6 A! K& D. h3 f/ X: b6 C- z6 YHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.! a/ f. F: I5 Y( [/ M1 H0 h
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
/ t% I3 K" i) P% X" j1 z路人警官Clarky上场。, z4 y  Y* T3 t$ l
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.( A3 p* ~- k( W+ y1 G
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）8 q$ n2 O+ T! d& _' H# l5 d
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。2 z; S4 Q0 _+ p! n+ j
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
4 C; K5 q* q% e( B% UHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.' j) [( i# `& O7 Z% k. n5 A( G
10.) C, P3 M% G! b, [9 q
墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。9 D' X# L8 t5 h" l
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）$ t; W/ E9 E3 }9 t2 n' \: R
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
- t+ }* {- d- f) a( K/ {, s, BWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
! o1 U9 H$ ^; S6 j1 P/ G) A11．1 l$ [6 V/ x8 E: g8 B; A
河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。1 C( d/ i9 ^* o0 ]9 q1 L0 i* q
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
( j$ l& \0 y' l. A" U- R; NBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…( o8 r( E1 `) b, t8 U0 N
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
: f% z% j$ }: Y( h1 O死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
* W2 t& E$ T9 e# UHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
2 r5 Y/ e  E* m' p0 f5 A. ~, p后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
* z5 [  q  g# Y; n" S' |! c9 y9 |  \) @Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
$ {# d6 a. G! L7 P& t. }: `12．1 z5 N5 G+ H- n( u; y
警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
' U4 ?6 u% J( T, u2 T. KLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.$ f6 p4 q0 t0 |; [# S. w
13.% [! N) _9 U/ u6 B1 W
接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
0 d. w  `! g9 F% y话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
9 X$ ?/ x8 f; f$ c* hHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
4 F+ K0 s+ U, f' L% iWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）4 C) P3 y* h. l9 I1 I" ]" V# H
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）! G4 M3 g7 U. Q. C
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
4 _- c6 r$ Y* e* i' S; U8 SWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
7 `$ @& Q1 e% k" ]7 i# T6 {Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）. {) J$ u  `. k9 J+ J0 g; ~7 r
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）3 _' L+ l2 k4 p1 K  E5 [  E9 L7 n
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
3 ?0 V# k+ J, VWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
- ]; G5 i; G; l2 b+ D% hMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
1 v. ?: T, c8 U. b& Y（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）* T: r' m9 P, _2 w) y
***********
8 z- z0 f1 Z3 ^6 T6 o7 w/ k$ E总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……