《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。- H! q# v# W* A1 ^6 }: w* e
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/ k: e% g3 I9 d  I2 G影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
7 {7 q% F0 g9 U  Y7 r7 p/ ?! y8 \Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）" |, I  N& F" r! W7 r6 o/ z
Holmes: I just picked it up.& F! S% m9 H( B- @. [& t
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）8 \9 A' N8 {9 o) o
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.4 }" C$ ~! L4 M$ L0 s. e
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）! Q  v8 n! S% ]0 W; B5 V
Holmes: You did.8 V( e2 L! g' I( y
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
6 C. }1 d; V: n0 o5 b& O: Y' {4 F' `Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.( C0 P  ?/ h8 k, j0 [
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. ^. R/ u5 ?% @% ^5 ^" B宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
" W( `* _3 r* _5 [3 K" QWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
1 F8 c' h1 s! T/ ]. E  c5 }* x; j4 CHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。3 t. W8 `0 q) w$ [  v& r) u3 h( F" D, [
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）) V; z& N; \; I; S% _$ a, z
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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6 j  }! w( M: O8 x4 f: }0 ]# lWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。6 e+ k+ Q  F' @( I' \' I
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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% A5 d# u: o6 S2 BHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。2 D0 A* w! d2 i8 C
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。3 c0 Z6 W6 P# ]5 ?0 A! k4 d. G3 F8 P3 A
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2 A: N$ V* e- \' YIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
  O6 m6 k8 G1 A# g1 n/ L/ K（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）* c% r$ T( o7 u8 T
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
, b- U( c+ l$ E- D8 UHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
% I5 `  m2 a4 gIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
* ~) E$ ^2 t: K0 Z! `Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）, Q8 @+ d6 s2 b) t- f
Watson: Get that out of my face.1 f5 l  ]3 `- E/ q( e' w
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.1 D, x1 p; N& G' S6 B
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
$ B7 s  Y/ {4 P路人警官Clarky上场。4 q1 ]& T: |% h
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
) d; t" v( R0 e  pHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）7 ~, s* j/ w. C5 a1 {. M; X2 n4 \) D
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
# \0 E: ?4 E" ?4 Q) T0 TWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
9 [4 `3 c, b2 U9 n; {$ UHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not." s+ N, }' [) `* o' V* T3 o3 ?+ n+ }
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
- p8 E2 c" Y$ j# h( s$ S1 _（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）, Q4 N1 V# j- d! Z8 D( \2 p+ H5 e
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
+ Y+ y, [1 K3 `0 l. N$ NWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）; k' O! p/ `2 j: r) F
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* k; y6 g5 I' n( d. U* g# t+ U- ?3 J  ~河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
$ f% @' N+ X/ D" ~. r+ EHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）  x2 l/ O1 z  @
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
! r5 \7 O" X% F1 PWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
( e) _" t& \, i7 `死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。. k6 k0 h$ C0 i* K8 b$ l: _: Y# U
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
7 g/ l/ @; d: [后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
! y: G6 ~$ r! QHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。1 K" ~' Y! x% B3 @- \& `  w
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。3 E: Z/ g& H; P, P$ H
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。" B$ g2 P5 q# H# i8 l9 ^
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）  q% {/ I0 \1 T# ]4 m, E
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
) B, N& f# t- {4 f( jHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
' f7 M2 t0 c, z# [3 SMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
$ ]5 L7 L3 P( @2 C# i. xWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
; s- }7 P- q( G# y2 FHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）( n4 D! D5 L: Y+ n! L
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）, e& ]7 l3 b* r. f/ n; c5 @) S+ a
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）$ I- P( Z% y% ?$ A3 u' ^% g
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）, M* R+ X( Z$ G8 }2 l4 Q' A
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
5 f. Q0 H" I* ]4 U( i( B（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）; a/ J" C9 J& d+ [6 t
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! c5 o/ X& w" C总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……