《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。5 i* f/ y) y! ?
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% r% z* M. \5 ?7 C* p影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。  A$ N6 [6 k4 P5 A
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）. V" U/ l8 I, v9 M, ~# x  t* V
Holmes: I just picked it up.# `2 G! w1 M/ q: k
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）2 o$ C6 b- l* j- y
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
2 j1 z, d# u' L' D5 X+ s5 Q: Y7 n2 x) CWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）; o3 n, N/ {& q: J  f* w1 j  N9 [
Holmes: You did.' O8 H2 k$ v) I
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）2 S. u) `7 A1 J8 n# n
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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# S6 O# I5 X, ~6 ~/ c宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
+ C3 o6 c0 d) g/ _, L& jWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
4 U& I. M& o* \0 zHolmes: Granted.
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' W5 s9 l) l3 X5 j" W2 |% @: M晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
" w+ p) [2 Y' U+ X1 pWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）5 X' I  i5 h' C5 {) X
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; P9 [$ ?3 ~0 s& l拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。$ K8 ?& C+ r# i5 A& p4 g
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。8 J1 L4 o9 d) B& F
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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1 S( q- o6 ]; c5 F) mIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。0 u8 Q7 H  Z. f: m0 b. `. h
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
! S9 {, _  K0 ?1 @3 W  L, f, L  Y. QIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
4 G' _5 [* E7 l8 w5 C0 fHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）. M$ w* P- |" X6 p
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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2 ~9 f8 L; T. ]$ b4 F9 ^. B& MIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。+ B! ]& ?+ I4 M# i) s: n, B
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
. r9 S7 n+ c# H# |, YWatson: Get that out of my face.  O) ]; }! Y, `& E" X& v0 L" F
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.+ ]' m) L; H2 l; c* |6 h" j
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.; F( K: P! N) S* T3 b4 x
路人警官Clarky上场。5 H. d3 U' f2 i8 V
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.* c0 c. _2 K5 @  K. N
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）. j( j& v$ j3 c; A: N# Z8 U
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。9 M" A2 h! |& Y* N( u
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?& g5 W; k) r9 Q- F8 U4 _0 j- x* q
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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# u' b9 @8 i* U. N, X4 T墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
: S1 F7 V$ ~  U" f/ I（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）& H1 X$ Y9 l0 h) P: C& A
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely." m* z1 O$ @  D
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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8 z1 l9 f- \! t+ Y' h" ]$ [9 L河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。8 M/ ?/ s( `) K) N2 `2 ]
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
' E# T9 K/ s" `0 aBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…/ x$ i6 }7 k9 \% l3 L, }, z: f
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
+ Y, A& }+ v8 ], p' d# y) `" I! g死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
1 b' H  r' L) M5 d8 Y# Z& NHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
% W; m  ?; \1 O( W: a- `; h% d后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。& \" u! w  _$ q0 ^4 a, W* D* v; ?
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
+ J" E: E; q. [# O# M& q- \Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。5 T1 E0 B" U, e  M
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
$ ~4 }2 j# _- w% ?! b& e$ pHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
# _7 l5 T3 @( W: J; t. KWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）5 r, t1 Y0 E( z" ~5 \6 a" b+ u
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
/ Y6 T# C6 J* m1 C' t( o4 V4 p& ZMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?( f# L9 ^$ H, G$ ^
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
2 L3 R  ^1 S% w& UHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
  I5 ?5 {! c9 C* G3 FWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）' f: A8 O9 C* K; X. q8 _
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）! ]) o, @4 C; q8 Z0 m) J
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
% l& L& P8 z! TMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
* B( H, Y* y5 {5 _（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）6 g0 I7 X- n3 p- n
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( Q4 t6 t9 G) F) ^" X# I总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……