《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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& a6 u3 j9 t9 O0 g- j6 I影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。# B6 d6 q" N1 [$ i
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
( O8 s" `* }% M- tHolmes: I just picked it up.! n  z' h4 l/ w' Y" _
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）3 O3 s# U+ ~+ i( T, e1 @
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.5 a* M! s4 S' R6 [9 P
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）' I3 S+ s4 e+ z9 B  ]/ h" j4 O
Holmes: You did.9 A0 J* ?( v0 V) t! v# F
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）1 k) ]6 W1 f+ I5 r; i( m* I; t
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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" y: c, a9 o0 r$ w! x! O* v宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
# x3 \3 l1 J; t6 d; U) uWatson: Permission to enter the armory.. l' G8 V' y3 ]% i" b$ Y, _  E& D
Holmes: Granted.# m- k  j9 y9 t$ ?5 y  r9 [
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
+ R* c$ L' g! n- Y- B" [3 N' sWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
2 z( v4 N# b  {3 PWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）; d0 Q; p8 J  R
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。: T# d3 `, \$ I0 p/ O
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' {1 h0 _: O8 Y1 _5 r1 b  dBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。; F$ |# N! u; L' P
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。' B, e9 U( r- g$ _5 M
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）; S6 S. B( T4 \  }
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
8 T, d  R# g% P' P2 O$ z: VHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
  M* K/ W+ `4 }- C; l& K; g  g- ]) yIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope., \4 z! t( y; s3 D  R8 \
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
, ]9 ~: M5 s8 D6 P" ~8 w. J6 ?! rHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
# `: Y, i+ a6 A& C2 z4 Y9 T6 w3 kWatson: Get that out of my face.
$ d# q) E# X- l# ^# lHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.9 ?/ x/ T; m, U0 u* }1 e
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face." J  H' h& }9 K, j( b/ W) q1 y4 T
路人警官Clarky上场。- U; _' K8 M6 Z" }
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.2 k9 b$ t% w4 ^- e, U
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
, j+ s( e* l) e+ u# ?: ]' v得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
# f3 G6 \! u& AWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
  a2 Q( V1 T! z4 {Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not." x9 n  |8 h- D( l, H5 \
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。" {5 J, A$ f+ N  N6 [% h( r
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）& R+ U; y) M( R  s
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
' {; n( w) V  G6 X' E% aWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）4 e2 F6 i9 j9 L
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
7 r1 ]  P# y; k& CHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
' O, H! w! h" j1 a$ f4 F4 tBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
; D; j$ q2 p0 z* N, S' zWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）; @2 ~# A6 v2 k$ `" a
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
, a- |% B0 j' N% l7 n. D7 n( L/ Z2 RHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
* g  C; K. X- ]: t: a后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。- M- b/ M" K: K8 Z( a7 i/ O) L
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）6 ~5 ]7 O3 V, e/ f: j+ u+ l
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( l6 _5 r7 r$ a, w3 f. ~警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。; z1 N3 t7 A8 f7 ?% b
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.+ P8 L9 A- d1 v( Z& c1 ?
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
: k6 Q- s7 r3 S话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。# P, M( ?; }/ u& M- X* \
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）3 O( B( P% s+ I: x' p% ^
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）) j7 L- M. g& i; H! K8 [
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）3 }; j  W7 }; S+ o: x& Y9 S
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?" t- X( Z! s$ h/ j& U" b5 F; G
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）& |2 s) D$ T8 }* a6 `- f! W4 ]
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
6 ^: V' R" y. O. ~Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
1 q7 y$ S2 q8 k6 j  V+ q' EHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）/ P- w& S# b7 i5 u+ [
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
& H7 b% J# E& e% p9 gMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
% Y3 x$ h" ~( C0 y5 {（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）. T4 X( b) U5 X( R) ~
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" Y$ L3 I, }1 X! P9 E总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……