《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。1 Z. _, w4 Z  M& ?  m! u2 e7 f4 Z
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; A5 b+ U: ^9 k; F% p影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。, k! v, p+ G0 w- @
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）1 ?; y$ X: g( m$ b: L' h
Holmes: I just picked it up.
& j) R% W" ]  P* L! VWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）6 p  a7 G* [  ?
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.2 |0 {! k/ A8 e& ^+ A
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
8 D) q' R. g! }* NHolmes: You did.) a& K+ U5 n; f% k' x7 ]
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）9 W9 \, z4 {) N6 A) a9 w& j
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.( n: e5 P2 X; B
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. i- X: r3 {( h- q0 x宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。8 U) o4 K. A* W% N: W$ k* c
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.0 N2 j7 \1 K9 W8 E
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。0 L# d, w& O4 W' m
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）' Q. z* l+ W- O: h$ F# D
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。8 `" }9 g4 \# e5 R
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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. F  c; ?- b5 t0 l; S/ }8 PHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。$ h1 K6 O& s( b8 a( m" |
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2 s6 F$ i! n+ wBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。# ^6 W- B& X2 F" v6 A
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+ l6 a5 s" v/ _$ V; @. Q: ?Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
3 U8 v7 k. o: g7 m* F5 ?（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
0 ^( e/ v" F- n3 ~( ]; q; ^  YIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?8 n: A/ P' `! J
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
! S" P$ j# y' k* U$ ~! Z& ?Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。; K4 i$ U  V5 Y3 l: S" F# H
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
# K! Z# [! L4 lWatson: Get that out of my face.  E, N% Y. f5 k8 e  i3 S
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.! ?# d5 G# a5 A+ a* r2 `2 y
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.2 o3 D% {9 B% {  @" f9 e
路人警官Clarky上场。
* q# Q" ]% U6 G2 c0 b# e5 D$ gClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once." M% f! X7 z3 b* G" J9 H
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
; p9 t# W% c4 a得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
5 A; }, G, p" \6 N1 p! [' }Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
6 f3 O. w  W) e6 g: u8 ]5 |Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.# \; F( A; I+ r& }* x" l+ O) n
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( U" S" H0 m% X  k: v! K2 a" t墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。2 r3 b9 r: g2 e9 x9 C0 y  h
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
$ D/ j5 ^* P2 k; MHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.; h% f  f- n* x6 e3 i  J8 v; `/ f
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）3 O9 P9 h$ O0 O. x# s
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
* v: B2 w1 K" d9 n0 Y" o" RHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
! Z0 c% W# S- R* W0 X2 EBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…5 A. s" Z6 V+ p9 C: }, q
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）+ u0 r' [# f* |: B% }
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。0 `8 ~. I/ M- K( c2 Q, ~+ q
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）4 y, m1 [3 a, L. b  I
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
3 @5 c2 H* d: ?Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）7 N& t7 C- m# e" K( _* A
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
7 i, ^9 [6 ?' G/ ULestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.& m  \: A- L6 Q& |
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
  v' b  N1 R- x+ i: n话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。1 K8 F: X+ h" _+ d" H9 e! k
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）3 ?# ?. B3 z, N6 _
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
4 c# E5 `+ x4 d2 I* U8 W  VHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
* |7 T5 Z8 L2 e, u/ q- }Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?( f6 l) G/ d; c5 X$ R' o1 v6 R
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）( R2 J0 B1 g8 B3 h$ b
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）& V7 F3 c; ]0 Y% X; H5 q) L
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）2 D# K% K& Y! T2 f' C* s% N* l8 ~5 j
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）4 b* z; }6 T: k, z; k
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）* U) H# c# S4 K5 N' f' A7 |$ Q
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
: I7 H4 [- O8 r1 R  p# g0 q: L（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）& P9 i* T0 q0 g' A1 \- B
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……