《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
6 s8 Z  @/ ^' ~; G* k8 V0 yWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）3 |! K) |6 [0 |9 W
Holmes: I just picked it up.
1 U$ x) y  w! \* v: ]$ T# w# wWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
" [. d4 Z& l2 I' c* v! KHolmes: Knew I forgot something.8 c/ C7 d& K9 X4 |+ C& R' H* s* k
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）0 g# c9 U$ H% Q+ z0 h
Holmes: You did.
# x, q  Y& M& x（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）% ?8 ]' I; H& v, \$ {8 }
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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  A) Q0 h* J/ h5 w宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
8 f5 r5 e3 j6 x. q+ SWatson: Permission to enter the armory.& Z$ E- U' [  T9 a5 w3 u3 l& P
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
& E' m* J8 M: aWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）- s3 G- o% ?! E; T
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( L# R; }4 q: @+ F$ _- `4 h拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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6 s7 |7 z$ u# y4 b# m: w8 AWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
$ Q  |  Q( f1 ?& IWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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$ t9 D" }$ h# B7 }7 z" O/ k+ b/ bBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。7 X3 S( Y, R: b
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
+ [6 B- w$ e$ }" zIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
1 H/ W  ^6 D" X, kHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
: m, P% B, a# y$ U# {& J5 s& mIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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2 b. ~5 {2 L' l* q0 q9 \( N; yIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
# G% Q6 h% [- G. T1 d4 f1 ]: ^Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
; V3 g% w, D# l0 w$ C; ^. _4 R3 Z; {Watson: Get that out of my face.
1 @9 c3 O9 n* V' T" YHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.7 t$ D: E5 G" Y  R% `6 t  m
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.; ]7 q: u# v; H  J+ ?
路人警官Clarky上场。+ u+ D, g" b  q
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
- I- H  l1 U5 K' e+ O  H- L0 qHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
# R! y, W0 K1 P& M, H得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。+ A- n4 t7 {6 t9 Q) l
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?4 @' O! b. T' g/ Z2 k. M1 L
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.; ]- ]+ _$ }: A9 B/ t
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$ G0 T* w% h& O6 l2 @墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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; \0 Y8 Y: I# ~/ _8 b2 k& cHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
6 Y, z% b& P1 V9 b; Y! {Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
1 @" ?$ e0 j( xHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）# K0 f# q7 z  S: k! j( S
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…  e: Z6 R+ w' P4 D
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）& e- A& O) n1 X! z5 _  w
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
) I$ T' Z2 D2 \! U) {4 IHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）# G9 B) @4 k& U& _
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
9 @/ E4 }* q0 \- H2 FHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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# R: w/ H) O( E0 `警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
, }' ?+ y, f5 b0 f$ lLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。) P: Q/ Q- ]' k$ {( i
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
& N7 A3 D! \' J4 |Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
! L$ Z  p" V' xWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）7 U: n. M* x) `5 K- T) p
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）% I' _3 l& l% g* E: g% D
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?2 r' k" s* f* P' L
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
+ i" z# G8 R- q: DHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
; J: L# w: c! \3 MWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
- y7 e- z4 A8 c) G* zHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）( |0 O% z% B* `& H( r  @, q
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）7 C" l2 O& Y. l0 G6 z
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
) R( E: a3 F) H1 O, k8 }/ T（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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3 k" E( h- L6 Y% k( p( `/ e总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……