《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
5 I6 O/ O# x# D1 R$ ~" P***********
6 v0 L5 o( J+ y% a% R/ a  u1．; R2 f& I- k/ w3 [1 q9 ]0 Z2 [
影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。7 K! S8 D5 W: l: a
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
2 u) G* |& J2 q9 rHolmes: I just picked it up.1 M( P8 r) _7 m# K( Y2 ]) y
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）# Y& G: K3 A" L  o7 E( ]) }+ i
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
  C* L8 g$ _/ p+ Z* h, aWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
2 U6 s5 G2 a7 B0 I; D- m" FHolmes: You did.9 ^6 h! i5 t3 ^" f2 f: l! L
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）2 [# ^# Q) l: d; v
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
# c  C8 I: j( U. k% i6 v2 P2．8 y' q  [$ J5 [  w8 ~' f
宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。5 ?- w2 w0 O* i* O/ B6 Q
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
, B2 e/ {# w/ a/ _: u8 ^, s& S7 n  XHolmes: Granted.
- h; y! _0 j, M3.9 C8 G; U2 `! H' @& F" Y
晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
" S& M/ I9 Z3 N% W( o  P! @Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
) w; X3 t/ e5 w$ D! C: E4 k5 \4．
5 s% F% J1 ]- Y8 S拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。( s1 r; q7 E; V. p' n. N
5．' Z' h* R+ Z8 E: J7 u* n2 j
Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。, G: O6 o; i, U: j
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）, X' Q* [! L7 r" z7 L1 @7 O
6．2 |/ M+ p  C7 b" e
Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
8 n3 L4 u) S( t- N7．& ^) M- ]  T) s
Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
. O/ d& n, J* O/ T# N5 Y8．
7 L" x; Z4 E7 c+ h9 FIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。( K$ a' y( }9 t" M( M8 X: \
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
! j  f% _9 q/ x, t- W, DIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
9 b- N$ L+ s: k1 n; g- UHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
8 R, W- Q' h9 o" ^8 c1 d6 k4 zIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
  \1 H7 P7 r# t0 W  }  }) Y9．
+ L/ n3 p# \1 @8 v7 j0 }- yIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。- K+ _  h' W7 V' ~+ q
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
4 x. M' w+ ~" B5 ^/ s1 j7 l1 `Watson: Get that out of my face.
6 w0 |7 a9 R. c7 E* ]) HHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
' c3 a1 x* K' [) x' d! H9 D; WWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
: L: v2 l# {5 }4 {6 a5 v  ?9 V+ F路人警官Clarky上场。  ]5 @( P1 y' e! v. g; Q# ?% P
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
/ I6 v4 N' l% O7 j" Q4 p) P) x9 PHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
5 \7 l; O/ y2 u# N+ C得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
, }( t. I) b8 m* I0 RWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
$ X5 Q; h& C* jHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
. B9 A6 P0 ~$ C+ [10.
8 m" C  E, A/ j9 T墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。4 `- ^) ^- @+ l# z7 `8 T: y
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）$ A$ Y% [' Z, {) y
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.' g5 X! n8 {# p5 j
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）* o2 ]' m# M! z$ a
11．  w. b" n/ p! F" R* ]1 ^+ i
河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
' g: B; s( P: ~! j$ t4 THolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）$ J2 C3 n/ T1 K% _2 f7 B
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
- p6 h+ u. Z& q7 J8 jWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
1 P; q2 f6 ?3 s( }死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
% L9 v& X* R4 aHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
3 A1 y' Z2 n6 V后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。( k/ _% P$ C) q6 w
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
2 u! [3 r& z: Q" j* @4 ~( C12．
6 b' ?0 X  t. B1 F4 p$ v/ N! a警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
. D2 o' `5 r6 B2 E+ I! e2 DLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing., n0 w, u7 H9 B- H9 v! X4 x
13./ c+ ?4 C, `% o3 ]
接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
' W! \" C+ a3 ^* `# ]* Y; [( m话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
" @" n% J/ q8 e# l5 j: l5 oHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）/ l/ v5 r/ o+ Z
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）$ Z) j" w1 G0 V. k+ {3 M* k* j
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
& b% M9 h4 P7 gMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?3 V4 A" y' L! C1 L/ Q: t2 y
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）, g; }. D* n: v7 x9 }* M0 C& D* ~
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
* k- e5 k3 _4 ^. w6 CWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）2 i6 M+ V' I: ^3 v. h
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
" H* b: V/ `" h0 P# f8 w) qWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
+ Y1 l0 t: k! ~+ f0 GMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
- u& F1 [3 T. L1 A1 s5 S# n+ S（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
* r' x3 L& P! _. t) t- m" G. ~- n***********2 i1 m" h) o9 p% H# C+ g
总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……