《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。0 T: N2 s7 H0 B) z* P$ W
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/ i; A  |8 _# x影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。; [5 [/ y& f, L
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
  H9 {9 A) U9 Q1 ?  p( |Holmes: I just picked it up.+ P- W2 E; Y0 V2 b" }  g0 a
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）" {4 o) j5 g$ N% }9 T
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.( U. d" E% r) W0 ^9 T3 I
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）$ |2 t3 l  k5 c% B& F
Holmes: You did." q/ C; |, J% I" }) F0 a
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
- @4 Q$ `3 u2 F  f8 u, C" oHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.9 k% I$ e8 j, {# o, J6 ^
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) w' z4 D* U7 y6 O宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。  l" ~4 z: X6 Q5 @+ h
Watson: Permission to enter the armory., B  c! l( M7 ]0 {, t- Z  `4 F
Holmes: Granted.  \% D2 x1 i# h
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。+ g1 z1 D3 [- K) x" s6 O' H
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）2 D3 ^# k* a+ X. R4 ~5 a, F! T
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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! J& ]& g" B) Q5 h6 v$ J7 O7 ^; f$ T2 @* DWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
: W, Z9 V+ w, z2 S' }$ pWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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' k/ C# ?' n. N, |& t1 IHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。1 F* O6 a' e/ A: N4 g2 X( i% ^" [
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。6 c: {4 l/ q0 {  |! n( G3 a; D! R3 I; e
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）' S7 n1 {6 n' {2 l
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
9 L# H: a/ w( T; b# VHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）) }. ~2 o/ B; C( Z6 p2 x* P
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
7 Q2 \2 l3 g- dHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）1 ~6 F* a- @# @5 x
Watson: Get that out of my face." A6 Y' T. Y, v# z, A
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.0 o4 c; B1 j, b8 `% a6 ~
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
, r4 J1 @6 [8 d: C" F路人警官Clarky上场。" _. I6 e; C  I
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.# S6 n7 ~# F! p4 W0 u& d
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
( x9 O  B5 K% i0 v: |得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。: a/ |/ c  f4 A0 ]2 m) A
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
3 G/ T' G; s5 `, b% YHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not., [; T9 v. ^* y+ U
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+ ^7 B5 U( p+ k墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。. B  j. c! t6 S) x2 H* r
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
- H" A+ k, E/ M% e! fHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.9 |/ I( d  Z4 O" q: [0 l
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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  J$ b! {% \/ g# w( f3 G! [河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。, n  I: v. L1 g) d  G# A9 E
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
& e9 C0 h8 C: d. @Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
9 `- h1 y# r) a7 l" P* z. LWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）8 O/ k! u, t5 w+ ]/ u- W
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
2 \% g6 G! ~# P4 B8 YHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
$ @" ]) I7 Q7 d# z' N后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
& {. n+ |6 v/ u6 ~4 fHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）! y* X+ n9 f  v# s. s
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: G' U; u2 l  o& [7 @1 O7 ~1 [) w警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。  C. l; S1 P8 X2 o' ?) E! E0 i$ b
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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2 Q3 L5 @: J: }8 t. K. p4 ^接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
3 O* z. Y+ u( }8 b) |' \% w话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。1 B. b' n9 k& m' }
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）3 u6 F6 l$ u3 b0 z1 s
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）0 H: @0 y9 ~! @& Q9 A
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）" S0 e0 ~  F0 O1 D+ r5 j& N; @
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?* i6 Y) P0 y9 y
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
  Q  a8 A: F3 A0 GHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）  b( ?7 `/ N! c3 D; e0 V
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
0 Q0 y' c- [) ~4 H% Q2 [  }Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）! S0 b* h1 T3 ?" v
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）" ~7 H) z( c8 L
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
7 M; a$ ?% |/ D) L（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）9 Q3 T, T" [. y0 }3 g& _
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: ~9 G8 l. R' C) g2 p6 h/ a1 C总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……