 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 7 K! S8 D5 W: l: a
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
2 u) G* |& J2 q9 rHolmes: I just picked it up.1 M( P8 r) _7 m# K( Y2 ]) y
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) # Y& G: K3 A" L o7 E( ]) }+ i
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
C* L8 g$ _/ p+ Z* h, aWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
2 U6 s5 G2 a7 B0 I; D- m" FHolmes: You did.9 ^6 h! i5 t3 ^" f2 f: l! L
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) 2 [# ^# Q) l: d; v
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 5 ?- w2 w0 O* i* O/ B6 Q
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
, B2 e/ {# w/ a/ _: u8 ^, s& S7 n XHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
" S& M/ I9 Z3 N% W( o P! @Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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5 s% F% J1 ]- Y8 S拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 ( s1 r; q7 E; V. p' n. N
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 , G: O6 o; i, U: j
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) , X' Q* [! L7 r" z7 L1 @7 O
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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7 L" x; Z4 E7 c+ h9 FIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 ( K$ a' y( }9 t" M( M8 X: \
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
! j f% _9 q/ x, t- W, DIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
9 b- N$ L+ s: k1 n; g- UHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
8 R, W- Q' h9 o" ^8 c1 d6 k4 zIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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+ L/ n3 p# \1 @8 v7 j0 }- yIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 - K+ _ h' W7 V' ~+ q
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
4 x. M' w+ ~" B5 ^/ s1 j7 l1 `Watson: Get that out of my face.
6 w0 |7 a9 R. c7 E* ]) HHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
' c3 a1 x* K' [) x' d! H9 D; WWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
: L: v2 l# {5 }4 {6 a5 v ?9 V+ F路人警官 Clarky上场。 ]5 @( P1 y' e! v. g; Q# ?% P
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
/ I6 v4 N' l% O7 j" Q4 p) P) x9 PHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
5 \7 l; O/ y2 u# N+ C得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
, }( t. I) b8 m* I0 RWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
$ X5 Q; h& C* jHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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8 m" C E, A/ j9 T墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 4 `- ^) ^- @+ l# z7 `8 T: y
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) $ A$ Y% [' Z, {) y
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.' g5 X! n8 {# p5 j
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) * o2 ]' m# M! z$ a
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
' g: B; s( P: ~! j$ t4 THolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) $ J2 C3 n/ T1 K% _2 f7 B
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
- p6 h+ u. Z& q7 J8 jWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
1 P; q2 f6 ?3 s( }死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
% L9 v& X* R4 aHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
3 A1 y' Z2 n6 V后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 ( k/ _% P$ C) q6 w
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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6 b' ?0 X t. B1 F4 p$ v/ N! a警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
. D2 o' `5 r6 B2 E+ I! e2 DLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing., n0 w, u7 H9 B- H9 v! X4 x
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
' W! \" C+ a3 ^* `# ]* Y; [( m话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
" @" n% J/ q8 e# l5 j: l5 oHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) / l/ v5 r/ o+ Z
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) $ Z) j" w1 G0 V. k+ {3 M* k* j
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
& b% M9 h4 P7 gMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?3 V4 A" y' L! C1 L/ Q: t2 y
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) , g; }. D* n: v7 x9 }* M0 C& D* ~
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
* k- e5 k3 _4 ^. w6 CWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 2 i6 M+ V' I: ^3 v. h
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
" H* b: V/ `" h0 P# f8 w) qWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
+ Y1 l0 t: k! ~+ f0 GMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
- u& F1 [3 T. L1 A1 s5 S# n+ S( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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