《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。2 j4 u, [' A( K' E- a2 @
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; l& ?" }" S" U# p! Q$ o影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
1 |- [# T1 l* X* Y/ i8 @+ ]* vWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
; _  ?( M6 @  B1 `* k7 g0 v* YHolmes: I just picked it up.
; S; a1 g. _( C% vWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
+ D: E2 Q2 ]9 e( h# p; ~2 mHolmes: Knew I forgot something.) J1 J9 W9 M- d' T/ `3 V% `
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）, ]/ z" d9 K  e& H) _: h3 a
Holmes: You did.
/ k8 Y5 m' \( M  i（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
9 l, q; [- X4 s6 Y3 l' AHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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. S7 F2 Y* H7 h. q宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
5 \# p! r& z0 z1 [8 H9 xWatson: Permission to enter the armory.3 v4 T7 q2 |7 l9 k6 C2 X
Holmes: Granted.4 A* d2 ?. t0 V" ?* G
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
% g1 c# V: f- `  s8 E/ y: SWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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, p  A# h) g/ X! o2 s  {& T拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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( H" w7 [8 M- @1 rWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。; i, y6 G; _  N9 M  B8 S/ _) L
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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1 b( E" n, ~( v# ~1 f4 \* PHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。" X5 g8 p  l8 ~, N/ o
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. }& |0 j0 C7 A9 m: y7 KBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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2 U/ ~! _3 g1 b" f' u. x3 [Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
, P1 _( l; t& e! `& W（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）3 T4 W% K0 J5 K; G
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?2 I$ X; I( ^% u! e5 B# _
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）0 @! D+ C$ ?% P: a( L, W
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.+ ~: X( |' L& F8 v% h9 e
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
6 ~# z, l6 i3 l, N% B, V, ZHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）- I" q) O) ?! h3 K- Z
Watson: Get that out of my face.
' T$ o: r5 F) ?! UHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.+ j- k) A2 R% ~, a( H
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
4 P6 Z; J- l3 w路人警官Clarky上场。
, b1 s3 t- n) ^1 [  UClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
! d: ?2 y9 H* U7 P/ C( q/ DHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）# J2 Z( [* R3 q( \1 o8 _
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。- B% \1 g' E' i2 G% O9 w/ r
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
( s, F$ |1 `2 R% dHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
; L7 O  O2 H) `0 _9 X（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）. R+ i- S6 f7 L- t0 \
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.1 `& F3 a! }2 e$ Q# k; c1 E. M
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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! [) p5 u  B/ f( x2 u/ f( p4 J河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。$ R6 S- l" n2 m
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
/ v4 ~( v9 B2 o" [Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…8 F$ S& X4 P5 X$ s
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）' N5 T' u5 S; D5 M" M' z$ H3 F
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
3 b( f/ y, r/ s( }* vHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
6 @8 b) l; P4 d1 o+ |/ U7 v后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
- }2 \& P  d- aHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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- g2 F  {1 _$ m9 o$ }6 l- H! V8 W警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。7 V1 I9 N/ c% y
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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: y( N6 y- H& m7 n* z* P9 Z接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。' s2 w8 l" v6 @  v  @
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
$ G: l% X8 m( tHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
3 f5 U" i, M: T7 L& vWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
1 w. M2 `8 d. O5 F4 D8 OHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）$ x7 |- M4 T" p$ q
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?2 c+ A- d4 X5 H2 L
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
6 K2 B' T  I/ {! mHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
& ]& t% h$ x8 Y$ ^! \5 T6 ?# XWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）6 B! v! |* ]. G% H) A
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）9 ?* O8 F3 V0 H* n& v/ M+ b
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
: a' i* e" F8 s5 ]# RMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
1 f/ E6 c4 \% X/ q& P  C0 A（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）% y( G+ L3 d+ Q$ Y- j
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……