《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。. ]. z* Y2 K: d7 M  F+ r' s; \/ k1 C( F1 R
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
9 J8 K7 `; ^- p* v- }# X' N) QHolmes: I just picked it up.! {+ z" b0 e% i* G" u0 W  x' z) `
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）! ~- D7 d/ c7 m7 B
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.4 e" V/ U+ |0 a6 t; W: u/ k
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）9 H0 \; i, [+ p6 J
Holmes: You did.) M0 u4 K* Y* E: |) j
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
1 O5 z  H% K) Y+ s2 QHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.* u& I( ~, H4 h2 l" L
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6 ~# }" N9 T& D9 B0 Y宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。- A8 e3 v7 w8 q4 y2 p4 A, L
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
* ^  W7 Q$ k* ?  q2 IHolmes: Granted.5 F$ ?0 r, C! U
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
# S( A6 s; h( c7 W& o3 s2 j! M" KWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。* e) ^' e% U: L1 O' Q' l, O; h& F0 D
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
1 b- J3 Y( r; Q+ W7 k& LWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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8 s, h* x+ ]2 |* AHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。: V: _2 N( k5 p9 m" q
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
) i5 h1 `; s- E) J+ |/ J, GIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?2 H% A0 U7 e+ {/ _5 W
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）0 U# T# I) i  r8 n! I6 j
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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. E0 @3 I+ B0 PIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。0 V" W0 s: Y4 m3 a1 f9 y$ ~6 M
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
$ u; b" T1 n2 ~- bWatson: Get that out of my face.
1 Z- ^- m$ D5 ]' rHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
& Q, m9 ]4 {9 Y- ^$ gWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.0 m. o# @* k0 ^, W1 n- K) N
路人警官Clarky上场。8 x/ _; t% e( U% i
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.& Q9 H- o- ]( c: t
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）3 c2 J' u) k& ]' q6 E
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。; y- M* v/ p! b" C1 @
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
1 T2 q$ g: \6 b. E; QHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.4 m3 G! y. N' C: Z2 h
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。5 L( I1 j2 Z. _; i5 A* p
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）% a1 x$ j6 d! _  Y( F; }& T
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.& n8 u& u+ b0 H
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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  F+ M7 F8 s  ?4 d0 ]河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
& T; X, a& Y, Z/ P8 U6 qHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）( e3 q0 k" C% p
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…. b; h- g; M7 `5 O0 L
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
, S# x8 r5 E6 @7 O: S; X+ r4 ^死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
8 A' o9 }+ V9 y4 R3 h0 M' qHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
3 z' A* F" Y3 \& ?$ s& y# F5 ^后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。& k) [: B( D1 B$ f; _' Y
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）. q7 Q7 C2 {8 t
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
0 m- A+ c7 B0 ~8 e, R, jLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.0 g- N3 |) _( b& V+ d* \
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
8 V/ N# w7 {, ^, ], O. z' s  v& n话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
8 W5 o: |( _. I& qHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
1 h. h  v, G; fWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）/ M4 ~/ h% t  B7 A6 V, s( F  Z# `
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
! [, Z3 ]3 b) O- S# TMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
* p' t' y1 G3 zWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）9 f0 {1 I) t. H
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
/ A5 M6 b+ d/ }1 q; P& A6 e2 L3 AWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）- V; V$ w% C$ ^, O7 F3 E2 `+ |
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）& K/ }5 t2 M4 T0 s" }
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）# A. H8 w* N. E! u$ }
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）/ L4 l5 n; x) G% R7 g8 f
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……