《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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( c& u1 b, p+ h( H: a影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
9 q6 o2 M* A2 K+ S; c* g: cWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）; C+ s2 O6 K; |. f" G1 P. c, M8 o
Holmes: I just picked it up.
& o" Q: g  n6 M* J7 l7 R3 ?6 X6 GWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
" D1 `+ _6 H0 ~9 D7 i4 L& D5 iHolmes: Knew I forgot something.6 R: @& }" c3 g+ r. H6 \. B
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
6 Y( f' J( g0 e4 J) yHolmes: You did.
" H7 {0 z6 d) \/ ^' c5 d3 M（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
  S- [% L: _/ J0 [8 ]% Y1 yHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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6 ~3 R& R; u1 @$ n3 @宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
9 N; F+ K. W* e8 e" k# B& k; w' _Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
# ]2 L9 u3 @( N/ o1 uHolmes: Granted.
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. h  M7 G4 W1 P) f0 t晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。- X# n. \% M& Z3 W$ K
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。: _% k" r- L# ~' M5 X2 J% m; R# h
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。+ x8 t; g  a6 F4 |4 ]0 n, G
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3 \+ A4 b9 W6 VIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。$ D, k1 M: _3 V' d( N; t# U
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
# l* s" V5 g4 i+ C: rIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?) l4 u4 L; J$ U5 f+ k+ H" a
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
) b+ {9 o; e6 T! y1 B3 C* ?9 r  ]Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
! K- R5 K# [; n+ y9 YHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
- M/ Q0 y  p; RWatson: Get that out of my face.  C9 G' N: n  j
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
: G; J3 j' L  g9 d  HWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.6 a" ?& d6 U- P) C
路人警官Clarky上场。
. I! N$ K1 t! K, h) [Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.9 D" {% X- p; k2 v9 C- Q" R
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
8 L! k  W# a; \7 ^* ^" Q( O得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
2 m2 @6 d) _1 U" IWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
% _8 Q6 O5 V. Q2 ]6 [4 V( |Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。; j  V& H* w! ^0 \8 p0 ]5 L
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
( T* O5 q4 s. m- f3 V; J) x0 GHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.* P  T9 w( S$ E
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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/ f% m5 W* t/ x- Z' G: j, J1 @  r' t! g河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。" C' h7 H' `1 x3 b3 m) L9 w
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
) A. W  B8 K, T$ iBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…  ^3 |8 S  Q2 h8 L" U
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
1 k( m  `- a" x: B! c死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
$ T; O# X. e5 V5 F3 }Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
$ ]. b0 n1 S9 a# v后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
0 Z, B6 _) d% xHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）& w" x* q+ b0 t- n  \
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
* B8 ]9 T6 U7 @+ x: k; TLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.( U( E1 W5 y- _; G
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$ V) l% r+ ]' {/ C+ w接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。' j6 {8 z% ?# r4 M9 R
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
5 a2 e8 |# K# s) |; z9 J3 i! vHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）1 Z1 x. A. p2 j! u5 n
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
: ?; N! \. M9 Z: _/ K; [Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）/ M# K' i2 @: }" o) t" N" z
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?; j; P9 d- C% L$ N4 ?* \0 m
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）0 }1 x) ?7 J: U) J- L
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
) T! ~! p+ P2 p. V8 x' lWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）3 `, U! X; H  x4 f1 U: s& q
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）( |! q" ?2 k6 V5 J( D
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
( N$ F, p$ G" L$ a5 mMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
5 M2 M6 l  t" H* u0 O( [" d7 N（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）# B: J7 A2 s: W  {, B# i
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……