《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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1 Z% b9 f3 O+ E5 _影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
& w! T/ x2 e& u# U2 nWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
) W# a+ \( K# ^. P' T; t' o* L" sHolmes: I just picked it up.1 ?# _& O4 N& d
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
  A& X2 _3 s/ l+ ^3 ]/ \, V5 nHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
$ c9 ?' r. A& }0 ]! W' D+ F+ vWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）3 }' f0 x; m0 I9 f+ @! H! I
Holmes: You did.. x5 T, ^# N, T3 V5 u
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）- `( W& T; M% N
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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" c4 G& L, S) e宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。4 R% F# M2 X& `% H
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
1 A( m* H  o5 b5 C7 c- n. P; ~Holmes: Granted.
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4 ^, c8 k% K. E8 {4 |9 e; p5 V5 Y晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
: \: I3 _8 `5 D# t7 M$ zWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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' B3 Q% w" I# \$ T1 P* ]2 hWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
+ Q5 o9 \4 i% u9 O& `1 \" U. dWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）) P7 T+ F$ b9 c1 p- L' |* @
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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; L9 _6 \! @$ Q+ Z# SBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。* o3 R/ z# L8 y
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9 r& R5 h/ W: `+ c% j% eIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。. c- e4 @9 ^- f4 n; K
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
6 Y4 ^" E. h: q* IIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?" O( l; P* Z( _9 i* X* |
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
/ \. Z& y0 N3 l/ k8 o! Q6 CIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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8 b% N" A0 H$ U# }; o4 I* a' }Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。6 k/ {9 q, d; a' \0 _
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
9 W! u. b- L" T! l$ zWatson: Get that out of my face.3 U! E( \( h4 m+ o2 `$ D! }6 S
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
8 u/ e' B$ p8 fWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.5 O2 [, M4 x, x7 @* F0 [  N# X$ F% y# c
路人警官Clarky上场。
5 s8 }: ~6 F+ m/ ^9 p; C2 r: l3 F, aClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.# }6 w" G% P7 x+ n+ R
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）4 n, ]( j/ @' t8 f0 @
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
/ d" U+ o0 |/ WWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
# B/ R! W: f" E# w% e6 l: r0 d$ cHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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. \# T3 ~0 w2 S3 _墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。' J' [% |4 }3 R7 `9 ~
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
8 m! X2 q0 ]; S% k  o+ f, g2 AHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
& ^$ z$ @3 v3 B, p! Z- {Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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9 e7 q. g* v6 r河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。  X2 w" g  L; ?* f  G* I
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）5 j  c8 R4 e. s7 C! ]
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
' o2 U  G8 v5 D. L3 }. IWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
3 A2 g4 Q, f: S* B, i9 s3 f死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
% l- T8 u( Z4 xHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）8 D' b* Q3 a( P- I* p. W! R
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。0 o# b% d% C- [' O
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）) J: E9 T, |' f0 H. O* B3 f
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6 p! {+ _, u! o( Q警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。4 N% |4 H1 K3 K3 t1 o
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.3 F  Z, i3 D  T7 S  U
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。& ?( d+ K# p5 F+ L; ^
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
- e0 ~. t* Y$ v5 R' n* c1 S2 dHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
% i9 a) _; J. C" \: r$ k( b' Z$ zWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
" W4 k# X# ^$ ], G2 i2 A; B7 C, mHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）1 P% J) v$ q" ~" ]: N
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?7 W: C$ s4 l2 C! K* D& _+ c
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
# F7 |9 m  R; BHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）9 p$ i% \5 o1 P5 y
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）5 h( k0 _- z0 {) y& Y0 z' C( [- k
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）& b- G/ t' V2 T5 W7 Y4 A
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
, A0 W) [; m& I- [2 @. sMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
; Q% [6 I: O* c2 H# e( o（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）$ T- n! S/ D+ q0 e, _
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……