《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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! P) z$ F& E) ]: I影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。* R% X3 \+ g# V
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）2 @9 x# w8 a9 f! `$ u% s% b
Holmes: I just picked it up.
7 f2 g4 n4 r; O/ V; fWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
# ]1 g# S4 b/ u6 ]Holmes: Knew I forgot something.6 r0 ^' _5 V# b! Q& C
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
! C/ x$ u. M) c7 W1 VHolmes: You did.
: o( S* ^& d, s. z3 [（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
. `4 X3 i2 F6 [% g6 H  BHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.: s- d1 i' A& f9 t$ E' D
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。# S& a# I6 t/ L& r! C
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
3 p" O$ K& P9 ^2 u: n& G, c8 RHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。5 _( e- {' d& Z6 i& e" Q$ M8 J1 S) t
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）% k: A1 O3 L% B% @) J" m
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7 c% E2 {5 A8 e拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。8 q0 `, W, ?) _7 D& P' v  _
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! ^, _$ x1 d5 M" }( i# `. GWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
7 I& [; i% y' Y0 x* a* H3 a  JWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）. y; K2 I9 b2 \1 i9 W0 y
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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, A  g- F# i0 ]) fBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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1 x6 E3 {9 @1 i5 V' i" d9 A$ EIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
* N1 p( i# q) v2 `3 k（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
: u0 Y: K; w$ q0 o5 L8 x6 Y* S/ D4 aIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
: r9 o+ R# u* w$ [1 Q9 H3 f1 eHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
) t( z$ G) T9 c1 |% h! r; J. x  SIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。3 L* e9 v4 W( m: O. V
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
6 D9 n/ s, P' L/ g8 WWatson: Get that out of my face.7 [! @2 f$ j3 H+ Y2 }. k
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
( z1 g2 C4 p2 A7 V* e1 w0 nWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
4 N2 n5 |6 N$ t# Y8 t- R路人警官Clarky上场。. u' t- N# ]9 l- `2 J. h! V2 H$ g
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
$ r# d/ z6 V$ ~! r" f2 oHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）1 s! k2 @# C6 G' ?0 A
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。/ i9 y" l% Q  t3 |9 o% m
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?8 J. g" Q; N: e, }3 o% o7 H
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.6 U' g3 _/ m/ _$ }& _" ~
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+ K% s2 e( U0 `墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。- s# q" X, ^" B0 U7 z) Y& o9 @! [
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）8 \) D( `# |! X6 c  C5 B
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.3 _# v4 n- X/ {9 ]; |
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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% ?+ o( r6 G+ T# \河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。- d6 c3 G: g5 ?5 \0 i# B; ?4 q
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
( e8 t7 X, B! N1 ^) B& _+ SBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
: t' `- ^: y# F3 i, E8 mWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）# j) O- a% I9 t/ q7 ~
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
5 ~, t4 Y( R$ i9 D8 B% bHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
- [5 ~9 f, l: K2 e) |后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。5 r( p# |, C6 o( m' |7 G) Y. s) \
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）6 {! F( p; j0 h* B4 ^
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3 v7 P" y: B/ f* e5 r5 c, U警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
# T/ y& e5 J4 _: v- |Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
3 T) m- i) o8 D/ a/ t0 Z" _  s话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
$ N! E& R" i1 @- _Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）, L/ k. q4 X4 I( E) @6 `+ g
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
% @, W* v+ j9 [. UHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
! f) g! q  J, E0 n1 kMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?4 F. f+ ?+ o+ w* P! B1 I
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）9 j. _! @' X/ x# Q* E; z
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）. a! d5 B; j' R. j' u
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）) A' _  [9 I0 {1 K) K
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）3 M" A" O" y' i
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）4 A1 a) H7 A/ K' I6 y% M
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）3 S: H+ N6 L% M. c" `, e
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）; h$ T5 ], \/ n$ z) B0 {: \
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……