《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
" v/ ]% ?! n3 V1 N( c! J1 oWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
8 Q& p5 {3 A2 u6 G$ EHolmes: I just picked it up.. X, z9 V- e& q8 _: K. N
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）2 i' O; H9 B5 X# E
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
  E/ |2 @( ]' c9 b/ e$ F+ w1 {/ KWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
& X0 n# T0 z7 O0 DHolmes: You did.' n7 U# T! ~7 i) N5 j; {# P' W& K
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）) W, ^4 I# h- r, \0 `9 ^
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.( y8 z- i( q/ f( y) T9 i1 a% A
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
, v3 P) K+ C( Z. Y. V" kWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
% h0 M& f: U$ [* V4 ^Holmes: Granted.8 B( B5 T9 b* E* Z; a' b: N
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
: B2 E5 p) T+ m5 @Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）$ Y/ R. `5 \  p6 B4 F
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
7 U* c; Y% G& bWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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- }1 M' P- H5 \: d" S+ Z8 P8 ?Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。. {; a2 U  t& _! j
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3 n' K, y: x4 i9 Q1 @Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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- n" f, N7 k- PIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。) r! [2 B' o4 x' z+ A4 c* b' c
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）! O1 R/ h- t; C; Q9 X2 `, z- D) w
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
8 D/ t5 M/ q4 _Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
( c& B( s! e2 v9 w' T- J/ y, X8 v" fIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
5 h! I/ A7 s: A6 Z  f  }' fHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）+ m2 l0 s, \5 b3 T: y6 p. E4 c; y
Watson: Get that out of my face.
3 N9 r+ @8 p: G) Q) W7 J" [/ S, {Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
- |0 f9 @& ^% u5 ]7 U0 n1 \* s* I' ]Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
$ H, }1 Z- F) K2 t3 U6 X1 t0 ]5 [9 t路人警官Clarky上场。
0 Q2 ^9 |$ ]8 i5 |8 V, c& O3 OClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
7 |3 _  d, }+ `+ k0 @Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
6 [$ U3 J. ]& b得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
" G; A: q' s: K1 K- MWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?1 t* g8 j7 l) T* I" K
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.) r3 q; q; K+ J+ V
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。7 K! k- F" w0 s/ d4 k/ v8 u
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）1 I6 o8 B- b: n+ U9 k8 A
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.; {1 Z  u  N. j/ R/ F
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）$ J  q! U7 x( Q! l# p3 B
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。5 j: j1 n7 G+ q; X0 x4 g
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
( f+ q! M: q' f" U8 ]$ n* T  RBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…8 i9 L" \1 u3 u- r
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）1 A3 A) [# [4 Y- G0 {
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
2 p4 U5 ]" V$ [7 E8 THolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）1 d7 K: ~) x/ D$ O* I9 _7 Z
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。- ?1 D- `. `* A; ]6 k0 y+ n5 J4 K
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
! P# X6 @8 z( E3 W' x$ V1 }Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。7 p* Z) ~* [& Y! u+ \% f: J( r
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
: C$ d9 H) ?6 l2 P/ v1 AHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
7 `! p2 y  f, eWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）$ w, f: C; V: s7 Y5 q$ u6 L) N3 [
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）, y: u# D$ l7 i" ^8 \
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
4 V- I* R5 k- M  l# s& XWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）: y" Z2 ^! ^  n' w' x
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）1 X2 n) H6 Q1 o% O8 Q" Y" ^, K' \
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
# A7 ^, R0 }: x" K5 z) a, yHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
9 y! M/ c, t$ X$ ~2 l, w2 s  bWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）) I0 y# x3 c4 v. B' a* }" h/ X
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
* T8 E3 y. M( A. C( U  w（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）2 S% d0 j/ {. _- z# V4 d/ y
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2 s' j) ?  }* h4 f" g总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……