 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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: P) o. H% J& n- P4 O) R0 C影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
# I" u" c: G1 uWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
4 r+ b. b' R& I: t$ K. k& E$ zHolmes: I just picked it up.2 w# t* G; S1 c3 f& Z+ z
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) & I6 F! f) x4 @4 R
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.0 c* A; @# v7 @9 N8 X3 J/ v
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
- S# v. a, x3 R8 \; M% o. F: K; NHolmes: You did.7 Q+ t9 H7 d5 g+ ^! L, c
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
" C+ ~/ }1 C* q1 wHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
1 Q7 O7 e5 }* @' K( [5 yWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
+ l, f: t9 ] G0 y9 J0 |Holmes: Granted.
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4 D5 @0 S& v* d& z! d& b! Q3 r晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 2 }6 C* m0 j: l, j6 z; Z
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 9 z' Z4 w! Z4 M9 E/ g- \! c* N
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 ) C0 B* h A6 c" f/ p+ |
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g; v2 G5 b- x. q6 H9 dWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 $ l" o! P6 s/ O/ u0 }
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 6 G7 j( p: c& o7 R; d o6 @
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& J4 D& u5 B% T* T6 w, \Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 % {3 D; J$ p! `/ P
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1 T/ S" S1 m0 j) E; Y3 cIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 ( c$ U( G6 w/ {9 L& t/ M H4 N
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) ! r3 H! |& Z/ m
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?4 ~$ E1 a. x0 X# F/ h
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
" b! k, j; Y8 [( {$ q4 OIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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- I) k! h, ~: r3 s- e% }5 M: u0 CIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 ' H- H! U9 B1 j8 I+ g: y; c$ b
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
, n! s( H0 |; nWatson: Get that out of my face.: S3 g. H3 e( e3 y @
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.4 @3 i# U0 m" m2 m* h; D; s
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
+ E* }2 N3 D' ~- w4 F9 Z7 o路人警官 Clarky上场。
- S! Z/ E# M' f8 o' i0 h4 tClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once., r+ d5 D# P6 j. t+ ?
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
* m: H; ]; w/ o$ i得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
* P4 B# L& E; M4 {4 TWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?* b. h$ B* L0 g
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.9 U" l2 w: B/ }/ ]
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, Y% H/ i; l2 B% {. d W墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
3 w& ]0 f/ W3 q1 |; J( Y( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
& m% Y; a I* q4 r# j8 F' E2 ^Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
5 J' F8 M9 @2 O- WWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) ! a7 G; u5 E3 G3 D5 O
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3 L' y G0 m8 I3 [3 o6 \河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 , z9 ^% I$ i O2 B
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
$ \# N8 ?" M% YBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…# O* e* c! n" V; _
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
: `! n# C0 {( _, o+ c死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
' J# o) D' G" K. e# f6 _5 _0 |Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) 4 O3 c# w& n2 d7 L8 ^/ q/ [4 D! N' F
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 ! L8 x9 f: f+ n1 H8 B
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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8 N6 T" N1 f- B" J1 V3 i- W. ^警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
8 _ y9 m% G# {9 \+ |2 ~1 Z' c1 uLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.0 i) d' h2 U. B% P' `: Q, Q
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6 A, Q6 q+ W# P; V& F- u! M接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
: m4 l/ Z6 V; _. @/ ?4 A# ^1 T* X话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 U( ^: p P5 \! J
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
" E; h0 r: Z/ n7 W) K& J0 {Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 6 f7 ?: B; A9 n5 P+ I7 F
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) ' Y3 Z1 L% c9 y$ X# t; ^
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
2 y( T5 M0 c/ N0 vWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
# @$ S' i1 |4 W5 [! E: ^Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) # X+ P/ S* D; P' ~
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) . Y' b: r' `5 {- M& |
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
1 n" A1 {0 G; i9 V& u7 Q, IWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) . _4 x# w, U1 e) S1 B, {
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
" H1 }. ~0 H5 i& ~( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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