 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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0 y d: M1 P- n; U影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 1 a. Q$ F2 X( Q/ a. K0 V
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
# |) K0 _4 h" D: E# |! @" XHolmes: I just picked it up.
# X9 U+ l8 L! o% {Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) : j k0 n0 ^1 w. y% c
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.) s: {; m6 `/ q1 y. R
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
8 {6 z" F$ |' M# B* Q9 zHolmes: You did.: }4 j2 d" W/ f- Q, E6 m3 g7 n
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
% ?$ @ t& T2 K" H4 z& j% r1 \Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 $ q- r; C5 ~% q6 u% ~, O
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.' O4 A. I2 z/ Y$ ~% A
Holmes: Granted.
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8 A( G& {/ |6 P6 ~# N9 C; g/ m$ E晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
, U( o: M- L4 tWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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0 _" W. g+ Y/ ~拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 ) [" j8 @7 y4 `8 b
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) ~) |" W: x* S fWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
' H# ^& K& S7 i Y+ F" t7 \, zWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 2 v4 c U: M- I% E `* @
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 & x# k7 n1 @2 L l5 _
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0 ~0 F( b9 v _Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 ' ]* b4 Y/ O2 A% C" N
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 4 n2 w; L1 N8 }. ~
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?6 ^0 U) E9 N( m! ?; V' L
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
+ i! w/ [ A: r( x: R; m, X, J8 QIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 - x7 n3 l5 n$ m. H: F
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) . w% M8 p, v& N7 \/ J7 L
Watson: Get that out of my face.
; s8 |1 x F; m. ^9 o' K# qHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.- w; I2 y/ b& |0 Q1 c
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.) g2 T; p: q1 p6 @+ Q
路人警官 Clarky上场。
, A+ T" e0 g* B2 w+ L& RClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.7 k9 X7 i, s$ W6 x
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) + M) Y M. Y5 A& R2 e. }
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
: h; n: k) c3 G. S5 p' PWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
8 o! d# j, `) t% lHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 ; y: ]( B! _# F0 j8 h
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 5 n" W# z$ o: P' G1 J: V
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
8 {9 q. i( G8 v' x; |* s: v* GWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) & Z+ Q* F5 ~/ C0 I' s! ?
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 4 g, e. f& p; G0 J, u
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
+ q) z8 R0 ?( H! k5 r( ?3 R% UBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
- q; _2 I. U5 d0 m5 g5 g1 fWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
- t4 J$ }$ a. ~! e, M+ s死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 6 t7 `# h+ I+ k+ ~% o" P/ J, M8 o/ j
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) & L p: b5 R! Z6 R: x
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 . `' _& e, S: S/ X" ^
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) & Q+ q# w4 R# R% m" z: K0 ?9 \
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
, V, @1 |2 {, [/ ELestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.1 ~9 N# T$ ~! p; s. M* ~, Z6 C
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
- n- g. X. e+ `/ c- K话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
( u: L& L* X8 C% Y: DHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) }: O3 a* p4 v* y# _: w/ o8 j
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
/ {9 Y7 ]" U- {# D6 J4 f5 [4 [Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) & g( g2 a. `; s0 b# R
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?3 T# g1 p# {# s0 t( H. m
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
$ f9 G, s# s+ ?7 ]; R9 o, uHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
# a# p! L' i, `' QWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) % O: r: a! {: N/ G2 Y: e x; b
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) 6 z8 W" z1 a1 x5 o" T
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) ( I+ Z- Y0 B7 ]7 v# a( |
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
) K( {8 _+ U: g1 `9 h6 _( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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3 P: u' I1 h6 M% U2 `总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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