《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。* i( ^- w7 \9 K$ V( v  A
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
; N+ W6 l; E$ Q. @Holmes: I just picked it up." H' Y0 W  F* ?1 O' K3 V5 y
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
  [/ c( L8 A4 V8 h' h: U+ p* Y+ y4 p- [Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
6 s' v5 r3 W9 H# j7 }2 a# ?& jWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）! [  Y# z4 z% c- b2 z3 f
Holmes: You did.
; I, }( e% R. F1 Z( B. l# k（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）. ~% X, X: L# v  m; `
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。% P$ y& {. t+ k7 r1 d0 t
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.. x3 g" ^' b9 q7 U/ `3 ]0 r
Holmes: Granted.
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% u( J5 w4 s) n7 C) D7 H- P晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。( }$ b  O3 G1 u( M. L+ L% f2 h
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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5 y6 c6 u5 `/ P. p拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。5 l1 h" m. ]0 D' Y3 D9 C0 W
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）+ L  C9 j1 ~8 V# I) A
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。. G3 c6 ^  b; x" R% P
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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- d+ A  U) t7 s: s; R) gIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?3 g/ x6 T9 m8 E: n3 I0 r. |
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）( M$ H7 ?1 L* a) ~0 I$ D+ R
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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% @6 o1 K' B! z" E( _Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
: D8 B& [# ]  P  qHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）6 f: T8 z  V" ^7 u. D2 K2 j& `
Watson: Get that out of my face.. r" H- b% J' Y& ~  \! Y
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.- @2 |. w8 Z+ S: @8 I8 i5 _5 v
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.' o' s$ D  e. v2 ?6 \- ~
路人警官Clarky上场。6 E" |% L$ h& Z# z5 p
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
) E$ _5 z- J9 p. ~  ]Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）6 k7 E8 o0 [3 ?- B- m( J
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
+ y. g* Y' D4 }1 H8 aWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
% s6 r* d; i" z4 B# WHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.& V1 B7 i# m& g( X+ R/ H2 C# W. n
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1 _3 y5 A0 v' t墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。% l' x% \" o/ K  @4 h
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
8 U: f) e3 W! X! NHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.! A$ k- @4 O  U
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）! Q7 o& z- }) |7 X# O; p
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9 v6 y- i7 U, ]6 h( h河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
3 M. [: p0 u) p* `. jHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）) j# V% g+ u( }$ v, K
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…( Y; Y, T+ L- v0 T) L, g
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
6 \, b) b+ a5 U& k9 p' V& j& n% U死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。3 F8 |% m( z) n: R0 K
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
1 a- t: }4 B3 F0 v8 S后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。7 b- p) G$ f8 m0 I7 S9 j! |
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）# z8 Y- U& r" |3 q0 v6 Y7 l
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/ f2 L5 e. @9 ]8 W警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。6 J  G' ^& Q* |" c
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
# b' P/ T7 f# Q" u话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
+ v3 `/ f5 Y% g1 p( j% V8 ~Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）- [7 u- O& n+ M, e. r
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）" m+ a1 K% k" l8 J5 v2 S
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）9 a9 Y' s5 Z$ H, K+ T* h7 m
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?0 R! b* B# V4 ?+ u0 @
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）: c6 p) y6 q* M- ^
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
& l. u8 Q9 L4 w, g8 rWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）$ }2 U$ X' N4 X
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）6 ]4 |, W8 T7 ]1 T3 k! E1 D' s- _
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）+ u; N4 l* r  A# j  F
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
2 E. H# ?+ n7 K' w1 w. }（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）# J2 A) g! d8 W0 ^# `8 v
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8 H7 c) X3 y+ K# Z2 D  e, v/ y2 g总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……