《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。& b/ j; J3 B9 X2 X/ o7 J
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7 Q0 h: a0 l  t. G影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。# c' _, W1 `  W' k3 }* a
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）- n: R7 W0 i; q6 K* V, n2 f
Holmes: I just picked it up.4 N, K5 o; A- k4 N( V2 f
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）! L# n* x) f3 Y4 [; K2 ?$ ]+ ]: @0 n
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
4 ~( i, g$ R5 H- x" [Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）5 J$ y$ u# [: k- ]% Q4 P. [8 ^
Holmes: You did.
5 L5 y% w( Q3 c7 D2 n（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）2 a$ T  o* J) d; x. `
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.* m' O9 z# q( C% a7 \
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4 h! `! u' \) ~, U1 C+ y" n( V宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
7 E5 a/ R* C* GWatson: Permission to enter the armory.9 V: s% h) S3 @5 r
Holmes: Granted.7 e# C  C9 u; o
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。. P0 X6 g5 @. s- S2 c4 y1 L# @9 C
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。& i$ S2 v  P5 v/ y8 T+ e7 u( W
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。. I5 F& A+ P, Z  h6 F+ D* G
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
/ X5 Z7 Z' M; C0 Z（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
6 C9 I. k; T9 h- }4 q, @$ J: V2 D# gIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?$ L0 W8 \8 |/ n2 [. e/ q, X8 N8 V
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）( Q( l+ H; W! P" R" Z
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。+ t0 H2 `: X3 N( `5 b
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
7 V1 B. g1 ~# m# f# U2 q* V: vWatson: Get that out of my face." @& U5 ~. r$ [/ G! u
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand./ y3 M7 z+ v( a6 O
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.0 n6 b% ?1 E( K6 @! X  b
路人警官Clarky上场。: e' W( F/ |( V$ @" |- {$ {9 D7 s0 P
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
7 u/ U' P3 s6 BHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
% G  c5 }( a5 `  ^得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。5 w6 y/ X- R* Q6 T
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?! X0 T0 ~+ Y0 G0 A. W
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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9 I3 y$ \+ }$ u' J4 l, E1 L6 U& F墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。4 ^- I' n( Y, W1 |# u9 T: w9 D0 u3 `
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
+ i- I$ ?2 C9 Q( I, v* {2 sHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.: _2 a- m2 O1 h
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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! j* H& F) P5 Q8 F* h( k2 m2 r河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
& R9 {  c6 @* I! _' vHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）5 ?- d: x1 ?+ }1 Z  c; K
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
8 k* `3 }( ~6 e! B3 yWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）3 D: G2 z! j; M, \
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。5 l/ r7 a# s# E5 Q1 x( Y
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
. G& T0 F. g) }- }3 ~" s后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
) Y& Q9 L: Q% _# sHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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. k: W! u/ [$ C; W  C: v* B警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。7 q2 M+ L8 w" W, f1 G
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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3 x7 ^$ W# d3 V+ H. i9 S4 N( n0 P接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
: R/ @' ~+ q$ j" `* k话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。! K4 C  \0 g+ E7 z
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）- o- z( P: p% \3 y
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）1 W3 q) K2 e  F/ X9 B7 `: i
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
+ o. [. u8 L0 N9 ?& aMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?; N1 ^/ x/ M6 r* H1 I
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
, S4 v" L4 v# p" d8 b  HHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）/ s# N6 l- \0 k, M& Z, g1 s
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
- F9 W. I7 n! ~  N! k, A4 uHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）- z) _7 ?, o% I& R7 h9 R% b
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）$ i+ ?* M3 h' R3 S3 ?( l
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）, s2 g/ T0 T" {3 K  q
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）6 _6 ~3 n  i, c# t* S; p3 }; P9 n
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; P# e2 A2 Z! y总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……