《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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1 i) u9 K& `, r! P  u* L' Z8 I影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。% T' ?" `/ c! U# T
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
4 L2 H' Z) h, I+ k7 g) S, ?5 |# ?" jHolmes: I just picked it up.! Y" ^. o$ y/ m8 X* T0 X* N- T
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）) ?3 b, S' P; O+ R
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.8 o  t- R4 c: M5 e
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
, i5 y6 x+ L' {1 I: `Holmes: You did.
8 A; w# u  {0 v5 w9 I& O# {" W9 r4 h（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
" t( [2 ^" j1 g' uHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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( a* [) j7 e* T宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。9 y& u4 E  w8 s, l$ X1 r& Y
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.# I! ~& j8 ?0 i( D
Holmes: Granted./ L3 X  B5 M" v1 ~$ b( b; M
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
2 f; n7 h, C1 a. B; p2 W/ TWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）# L6 z1 c* N* ^( K( q4 j8 d
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。1 t' [; J: H* h2 f) l
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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' h8 b+ X5 \% j2 c3 Y" D  }9 ZIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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* e4 o3 O* U* x# {9 U" OIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?% u$ L' ~+ n) \- v6 r. n: k* k
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
; `5 N4 ?- T' Y( b, L4 \5 M  DIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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$ {5 {3 ~: w6 h) y5 P$ rIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。' \8 z; }6 d3 ?) c7 }: n
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）- z( ^5 {% o6 {- i7 X& w
Watson: Get that out of my face.
% ^$ [4 z4 _8 Q- [$ BHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
' M$ G4 a5 W. ?7 _; {Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
0 t) X/ M4 w7 J9 ^" B$ }路人警官Clarky上场。
: G% L3 I3 C1 W' bClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
. U0 u  f/ K. |4 o- U" jHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
) h. S# M1 P; g8 L: S得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。) F; v' I; l# h
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?8 o$ b$ W- s  }2 s9 o% S- `# Z8 S
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
( K; U/ [( @  ~（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）% L9 o3 [3 F2 G) r! j
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely." I. y- ^  W  I3 l3 ^, Y8 W
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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9 i4 S4 M, W- ?# ]$ ~/ N$ B河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。5 W) E/ i: i9 b7 n, J$ u, C
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）2 }3 N& |7 m; T' ^5 G* @& m/ O1 Q
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…; H4 ?# ~3 |+ C  B
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）1 V- C. ?* v" f! [: k0 U
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。9 _( \$ J' B& S. W0 s
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）* `+ D" x- j; [5 _
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。9 X/ P! R; s# s8 F- ?2 K. ?& ~+ \, ]
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）4 H* n# B6 P) n+ u8 W2 m
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。1 O# D6 p  u6 n) B
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.+ ?! }0 [, d) S0 O0 A$ b
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。' t$ V1 Y; G0 |) y: M" P5 u9 I5 T( e
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。5 w8 m. X0 r; x5 R% f% s1 S
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）) k0 j5 g& W8 F6 J8 P; Z) K
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）* i( Y& A5 U8 c7 [; B
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）( |1 H$ W* {2 A6 p% p6 m
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?) C. f3 A+ x" y$ U
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）" c/ X# D2 q: t5 ]9 d0 P4 p
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）- M) R, h) G( h1 [# d+ K2 _
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）% X& D: g% E* X4 r
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
8 p4 L/ X" w3 t/ E4 d) @Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
% @$ o1 ?" c: q6 \% |. H; AMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
3 E; G: j3 c# r% E（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）$ h3 Z& t/ e) ?  f6 _- j* X
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0 s: B/ V# H# t) R' x% u# X总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……