《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
# J7 K1 D/ L: i( e' T# hWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
8 _7 C, d  H) h' V! xHolmes: I just picked it up.  V# W7 K) }) v" y. g" o
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）% E- X" G8 U" u6 {4 g3 g+ v
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.% Z+ {$ Y# c+ [' f% T" `
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）' e3 ^4 v  h1 }6 E
Holmes: You did.  X# l' R( \7 K  R4 p
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）6 j2 y  R9 M$ L1 v% o
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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! t$ I# i& ^, N/ Y宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。% w. Y; K' s  [5 a) R% D6 y- m8 R
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
0 Q1 u# e/ \* X. ^7 |( vHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
6 E) Q; t$ j3 W- v$ B3 P  zWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）. A9 Q, e; C( W- s3 @' \
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. a, E* _7 Y7 T' c) l& r拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。) ~9 \% {5 d% u8 T
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
( D; ^+ m& s6 U+ C0 b5 _Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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' e  B3 ^/ B7 H  X" M) Y) O( XBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。# w( R) f4 q. `6 j4 H& u
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
2 ~& ?: X* r& {（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）- H) d6 x. r0 @7 V4 L( r
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
0 H9 ]. h+ s! Z% W/ I) t& pHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
# E1 w4 a' Q% e* @Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。- U" T  j! k4 a: ]" N
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
/ b0 t4 d$ d8 R: r5 TWatson: Get that out of my face.- `! l7 u; e! y/ u7 u/ e
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.8 p8 O4 P% C7 [7 x2 y* }9 q+ p
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.0 L1 ]" e( `3 N& r1 j* k( S" v
路人警官Clarky上场。2 T8 n) F7 e* h0 p% g
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
* x( @9 B( n5 ]1 P" z; _+ p; M' yHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
* h+ [: u; \5 h. ?得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。! u# ^/ R- N+ }7 C
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?/ U2 \9 m/ z6 X. Q* q. F
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。: U9 Z9 z! J$ X( w7 w9 Y
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）+ @2 n: }! l/ [# E5 Y0 \
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
  W  [5 c3 H' M. e4 YWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）' N5 B6 H& [" ?9 M- f; v3 K" R
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/ G4 k6 m5 p! {# `" l  L2 ^- f1 R- r河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
' k9 K% a* O7 d, F- X6 NHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
. Q& j" ?' P2 z' |- tBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…* j: y- L# v! x) i- ~& }, b
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
: d- P/ n6 q, I6 l4 {死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
7 i/ T: H1 u# L) @; d1 D  yHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）1 P, Y5 ~$ F. H5 i
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
0 J. b6 h& b( U) c; R1 w8 o3 eHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）1 d2 \, f+ |- q  C
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。. D! _& g2 i. a& o) x) B7 ~* ^
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.9 p: Y3 Y% i8 M" }' F2 ~( ?
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( u" L7 Y# a; k接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。  O( T* z9 n( S/ S0 N
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
7 L# B/ P5 o* [" x: j5 y* sHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
  a. J3 @. r' P2 W2 VWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）4 K+ J% _6 @7 ^/ d2 j5 I: u+ t+ o
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）7 G4 c' c2 u" m7 C  J3 z
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?* R8 S: O7 e' n. S7 Y% C9 `$ Y
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）% d' B; e$ @2 p8 O2 |+ y! [8 v
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）! A+ M6 ~% ]' _1 o/ y4 J
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）# `8 M2 A8 z* j: W  s3 Z" E8 ~6 ~
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
* W  E" l8 O( t' s( |: \: _Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）( E. u8 s( k" ^4 u: u. w
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）5 a8 q# B. Y) i( p; w) N
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）, q7 ]! B# S  u: s/ J
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2 a% p9 Z% M, I. ?9 L总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……