《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
. X; a( |# Q- j0 B( T& @Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
& k0 M3 m, ~4 w( U2 b. f* q% r, t& HHolmes: I just picked it up.
! k9 x# r$ l+ cWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）. n/ a; M  E* n, q0 ^! h
Holmes: Knew I forgot something./ B$ @/ S& h5 y* x0 v7 f9 F
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）' j( z5 @  Q- @; A3 K
Holmes: You did.
; r  `  c( q: W* F" E（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
0 m7 v* `: `, v' DHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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. L% v% G( ^7 W$ x% E( G6 t9 s宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。$ j( C7 D3 }4 D& d+ u* k9 {- @
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
. \  s! u, K0 `; U6 KHolmes: Granted.
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7 f7 p' ]7 h/ |' _晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。" c4 j/ {; O4 j8 n
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。" j8 N7 R. g; f. l
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）, W3 A! y; @: C, W
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3 l5 Y1 X/ I- ~# O( m2 r% |- e( uHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。. U1 r1 V. I, d( M
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  M; w% X* w% F' }7 ]% yBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
1 E+ _2 O# P* n" T7 j. aHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
- \. ^* G2 X  U9 zIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.' q* c/ ]2 h" j* Z, a  P
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
2 @6 L, m- j7 w0 GHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）% q# i$ q8 ?& p) I6 A* p6 F
Watson: Get that out of my face.
$ m1 {9 C3 P/ THolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.: \: N3 j6 v" _, |0 y) I, F
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
0 J4 x$ D, W* H路人警官Clarky上场。% `3 ~" N( l# l4 B! W
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once./ y* C, J$ H1 v$ E2 r8 {
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）+ |- g3 c% a& U2 A/ o3 d
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。/ ^' T3 K8 z! q* v6 p
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?; ]; X, n, e$ b( h9 [8 s5 |, |- w
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.* U: E" g, p; c5 U
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
3 i0 ?; X9 ]! _$ pWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
1 x' x' r0 B1 d5 s( J' IHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）8 Q* E& x' d* F
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…2 D- e4 p% P( O) s
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）8 A3 u8 }" e1 d: N
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
6 x/ ^6 d- ~& V0 ~( AHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
# I+ Q. `3 Q4 h: }2 [) E3 c: h$ R后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。  S0 g# V, r. e6 q' Y, }9 H
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）8 f: D, o3 m8 s* p" Q: z
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$ C  L0 X5 p$ u2 M8 H- B: s+ Y1 R警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。4 e. x5 K# Y6 J/ f
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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/ }/ Y7 D. G7 u# h& J* v4 V接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
; w% I3 l* |7 {& V8 L6 L7 C, p话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。  b5 x3 i1 j) @6 N  f8 h* L3 n$ I; X
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
3 y/ l9 Y7 J2 y$ ]6 _& K% A% {2 WWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
/ n' p& r5 _8 e/ |- tHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
3 l  p' _8 D. S2 n3 a& FMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?8 x# Z" @& `1 u  Z, c. D8 }: J
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
; s) ?, P+ D) G) V) hHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
0 i- Y% O! h3 [& i$ }Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
' T; U9 ~* ]4 t) W+ sHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
3 G7 a8 I2 J  w& S9 Q4 J3 i# uWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）8 K$ h5 |  @( H4 `2 @+ u8 n1 V
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
" ~  }7 c; \( H  i（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）1 E: z" i, b& z$ e+ x! _# D" j  g
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8 E" c% t% W; @' W! W) U: s总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……