 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 : @* z8 i# v$ @, G9 D9 ?5 x
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
/ a: e. P! j5 y% |1 l" o$ V* ?Holmes: I just picked it up.3 O# [* c/ O/ ^% i! z6 U0 ?& W
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
5 p& ^% F" {0 Y# Y: R$ zHolmes: Knew I forgot something., Z1 ^0 S/ g. E- l: U( m
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) 8 j6 x) P# l6 b: `+ U
Holmes: You did.! k0 |! r/ P3 u, v
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) 0 I, y* l& X* j2 |1 l
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.% a5 K ^5 j3 \7 g$ z& J- O
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 5 p3 q+ F# W7 {
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.6 }8 d- Z" m8 m& y5 A/ F4 y0 _
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
8 l* Y5 k+ m" {7 JWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 I( t" v' h( z- O: R" o5 |6 e
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$ E3 B9 |& i( z( A' C- g* `& D$ NWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
3 k1 A" W7 Q: I. |4 j0 p$ [Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) $ f& S! ?/ |' Y- ?) `8 T
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 & u5 `; M. h) N; m* G+ T D, w
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$ i, p, I- V: n1 k* x3 B( pIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
/ p' Z$ i/ K6 d0 Y' t( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) , S/ z* Q' Q5 C
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
/ P* ~: E; p Q- T: O1 [Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) C5 ?! u8 }9 l
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.8 X8 G; Q' W/ W r
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 / A( x1 A- z3 ]! e, _) D) |
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) ! L) J' R( i9 h. s8 `2 L( K
Watson: Get that out of my face.. Z2 t H" o& ?1 ]7 k2 Q ?
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
; W7 F; v! ]0 E( AWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
# `2 {& b @' _1 O% M路人警官 Clarky上场。 / H; g; x/ w8 I
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.4 |4 O* H9 s4 t& b( P4 l
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) 8 S [. N, i* O# Z- C4 }/ j
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 ' r/ f% H. Q# R9 b) x
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
+ g2 S/ T, i1 \ R+ K @Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.1 T! Q& j" e9 z$ D
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5 E: ]4 w7 ~: q. A) d; D墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
( \& G( f& D1 B- a3 m( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) ; s) P; k( O7 F
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.! p; D# a/ A9 w2 @2 z; p0 p
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
5 D$ O! s) i" HHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
7 F. Z. V2 v- C, SBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
7 A- Y8 C) b+ h4 i( J1 `% b2 E( a# U# RWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
7 T0 e/ @, N8 y% \& i死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
8 p! P# X! h- N! O1 Q% ~2 ?# sHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
( p. Z L- j3 j$ O* c$ Q2 ]' h- x后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 1 R3 w2 @0 d2 R5 ?6 I- d' ]
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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8 V% w$ @1 }5 q( ~" \$ ^/ }* C警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 5 w% r; e; R2 Q+ k2 l
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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7 B {4 s6 j6 I) N5 |接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 * l$ i1 p' r' u- h, M7 p& f y
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 4 b# z$ s7 O2 o
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
" {! x% S7 a- z6 xWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
3 t& \4 v1 ^& b; d: rHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
# p4 d4 X1 m. r* jMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?% s4 U! J+ S4 G$ P. D3 V5 D0 p
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) 1 ]7 }0 f; u( P9 I4 M1 H; P
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) E2 W% I' r* L
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) % s* T3 u# G/ M
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) 1 v3 y7 z0 O& k
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
; T) c" Q9 }1 g% GMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) * |4 ]. c6 b0 U, J& k
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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" V% u3 s* {0 l总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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