《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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; g$ ?1 N! ]' e7 e' t% O0 m2 v  u/ n影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。  U5 R( y* U% i7 I' O$ L9 g
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
4 z. R- X/ s6 M9 x) t+ F, }) vHolmes: I just picked it up.
+ Y* A- g' e# j" |5 xWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
) C7 S6 m7 K% b! T. s8 DHolmes: Knew I forgot something.% |) ]+ T  M! U4 n# b8 N
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）0 q6 ?4 t+ u" u- l; p
Holmes: You did.
; |5 k8 f8 C- H& Q. W& M（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）5 U  S: P. X6 t+ p
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.& Y$ k4 Q; y1 {, ^  l" \
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
0 q+ L& l5 t6 N* qWatson: Permission to enter the armory.* ]. K& T5 j. {2 G
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
4 _+ a: a$ L7 M* P/ _$ rWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）& U+ G  V& i, U! U
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。/ ^! U& O! }/ s. W! e" F* j
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5 D* g* {& M, v$ T1 x2 RWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。: v& g# m- [, s/ q$ U
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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$ c; M6 f) \7 g! D, WHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。; K4 z+ A% o/ D  a/ F' a, F# e
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0 k, Q9 E; u8 G& K" kBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?0 n  b" X' _# [
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
$ q' a5 _; c0 s$ ^% R. Q; \Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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& b% A9 {" a( G" y' _$ K# s4 PIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
- m7 H" v: D" v" N' V, y6 aHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
4 M( e( c! \/ ~$ OWatson: Get that out of my face.- D6 Y$ m5 z9 b" C, h1 g" a
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
$ X, e9 L- Q/ ?0 b- I" r2 yWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
, i) e- y4 e/ K% \3 H路人警官Clarky上场。2 x8 r9 A! Q' O2 t  Z
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.; E6 h4 E7 s1 f4 _! x, O' b9 Y
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
+ }5 _; j$ f0 Z2 c7 |; c5 K得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
- X' B+ f$ b( T$ r2 e) `Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?, q: y! e. t( m0 g
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.. j2 S, y$ P9 x( V0 q
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。7 g. L# N2 O( V
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
/ A7 i' \$ \! t8 v8 v( F5 @# KHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.+ q( G) U) H& P3 E) `/ h
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）; U* S2 a0 g8 b4 N2 b# k
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。! [+ }" \% K6 B! M; Q9 z( ]- U% g
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）* X7 k9 }) x8 `4 @
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…3 o' e+ ^, t# o6 O4 U
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）' Q9 @) p/ U8 W3 f% E) Z- K& |
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。' R) b) H1 k& b& L
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
: u2 J1 q- Y8 ?) R4 z后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。7 A) b# M" D" T5 }% K5 K1 X. N
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。) R) i. \; P# F8 y  v% x
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.& N& ]! z+ @9 L3 Z3 }' _
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+ {' Z7 k$ n+ E; m' k. N接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。* {4 h8 c3 Q0 h! y% f2 `
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。+ M* S3 E7 t, D, c' `* v6 k
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
; N3 n0 u# I7 rWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）/ w* Q- r& H$ K& t1 R" J5 R5 B$ ]5 {
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
- Q& b: C& P) l% P9 r. KMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?# _2 }# m. m& J3 m) }' C& V
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
1 x6 @) J6 l7 O2 n6 P: h9 @Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）) i/ M& {# i/ E% T0 L& p
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
: A0 p3 Q# ?; zHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）6 b' c, g' M* ^' h# Z4 j
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）+ q5 H- T0 j1 }. J
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
9 m( a3 W) \8 O9 o1 Y6 ?（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）. P1 Q6 G# Z+ d* i" o! j% x
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……