《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。3 N2 w/ }. g0 f' h( }) g4 x! T
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
% e2 n% G; m4 s# Z7 DHolmes: I just picked it up.: P# l, q& O0 [7 a+ p# ?+ Z
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）8 Y5 H2 @; W; \6 g, Y$ L) {
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.8 y8 c& P$ o! U. ?8 n1 s5 ^
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）8 w$ P6 k/ Q) F
Holmes: You did.* O4 E* ~* n2 M9 f1 X
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）+ r3 d5 V1 p2 O! Y# Y
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.: L- d& R" ?9 [) b2 I, Z
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。! H3 a1 a" {( `
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.  @; G' y" Q- {0 Q/ p
Holmes: Granted.
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" H3 k; b5 G& _晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
5 i" K! r) A& @, XWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。9 w" h: b6 n0 T9 ^% s2 \
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。! J/ l% H3 D* P5 {
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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4 |. p  G8 K2 W) |" MHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。/ |) B7 m& R- q" v9 @
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。/ x& Z2 Q3 Y3 V
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) f, [& n* _1 K# s6 ^5 I/ B% O! U' ^Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。/ o" X  S+ i$ D- D* c7 {# N
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
+ L; D: ^* W+ kIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
( R6 B% R3 P+ u; x6 OHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
/ g8 ?. x7 ^6 D* FIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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% m6 N. e- Z& v; }Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
) n; \5 i& D" R) w. b6 eHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
! M! s+ Q& H7 r& fWatson: Get that out of my face.# V* n0 A- k* L
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.* L8 x8 s, x( B6 {# a+ O+ o# e6 e3 B
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
3 j* E8 x4 H0 \4 g( z( d# @# g3 x路人警官Clarky上场。. m  j- U0 K1 p0 d
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
  o& {, i2 l  [6 v8 r) f% uHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
0 v% W! a- g8 k" m8 U, f! \得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
  x9 Y4 p# e& Z! cWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?, T! \3 G/ H  q- f7 k: l, @
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.. g9 d* [$ e0 y7 h9 W. n! W
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。5 G3 |' s6 f. u0 V
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
* {- j- g8 f8 i! s7 SHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely., t3 T/ d6 \/ f9 y+ k
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）9 E- {+ C) H7 p: ?0 X% x% ^
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
. D, ^, `' o; h% aHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）2 b9 _1 \! b6 V. e  p; L# q% [
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…4 c& L- S; M  h# ^: t- R3 o
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）! j8 A: S0 a" C3 [8 @
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
) p" k! d( O$ p; S4 c& ?+ nHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）6 H: t+ o1 i  `& X
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
2 [# h. L, J2 B9 \* G% tHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）$ ~2 L9 ~. M- U+ f+ M
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
: U  H5 \$ L+ @: B5 h1 PLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.) G* \4 q* s% n
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3 G! E7 y8 B8 E! \$ v接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
+ E9 s0 x0 F& B9 Z1 E! W: e9 E话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。. d1 }9 n1 \' a8 d' z) ^) H
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）* \7 u7 l5 ?0 F1 r* e  m7 L+ G* Q
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
+ S  K+ i& I& D7 r+ u& |9 p# IHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
4 v2 G; E$ i/ B2 iMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?2 j, u4 c8 b. @  T% g2 D
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）/ `) h3 J; M7 i  ]
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
6 M; m9 B. V1 n2 L) xWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
+ x) [. G) x! r" \1 ?0 aHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）% m- q1 }1 w* k, e5 k
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）0 `3 t/ }, i/ m- }
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）4 R5 H$ B% L6 U- f' `5 m. R/ A* }
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……