《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。* |" K+ h, h2 r& b. O5 Y
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
' v. s2 t( Q4 m+ G  JHolmes: I just picked it up.2 O7 a$ I7 M; T$ \0 A/ a+ F" G" g
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
( S' j/ B4 ^7 u: G/ L- R, m) l& `Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
* P0 D. q) _$ V$ i3 `Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）- f* T3 G, Q" T" X
Holmes: You did.
2 y' d3 ?2 V5 |3 @* j+ \（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）. ^- t$ @5 {5 s. k+ J, Y
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.' q, x9 }, h7 C
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
4 V$ F9 |( h9 P- B; d  DWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
. O% W; {/ x% l+ W2 W- S" t$ vHolmes: Granted.
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+ n' ?5 m2 G  e7 L" W晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。- w3 W- b/ g: P$ p8 P
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。& }- b) P& }% `6 ]1 U# g' l9 c
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。5 T; v- C/ r2 V+ \! F
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; D$ n/ @1 l6 e6 U8 s" d7 sBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
2 H6 J7 _4 B* k- F（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
  @1 W; C- \4 i7 ZIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
/ E9 u6 d5 p- C: pHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
% K5 Z  A9 p  W" |Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.! |- r7 Z, z  g3 C
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
( q( D- |3 u$ E( D3 H$ E% e% mHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）* o) |) U' }9 f% M5 Q+ m) N5 S2 l6 [
Watson: Get that out of my face.2 Y+ V4 l  c1 ^& k
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.$ a1 z2 x- j$ ^) x
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
' i5 Z! o" d5 A1 F" S3 Q5 x路人警官Clarky上场。
; N; u  L- O. h/ c9 |/ ]Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
; g/ X2 ~, u. L4 d& n# ~Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
+ o8 ^: j- h  x6 H$ H+ |得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
. q  b$ [+ D% ?! ^; bWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?! d, t: U: z% l3 x  b( Z  C3 I
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.  L7 X9 z  c3 F' W
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) {, I/ I5 m; J: s- F墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。" N2 e9 b, f1 c  Q; m
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
; p1 O. D0 D/ U, W5 r' THolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.5 l. r7 l: ]5 J5 u! a
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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6 y. Q; c' @9 P  j河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。  q3 Y. V7 x% w' e
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
- B7 Q/ [6 H8 O0 Y( E- G2 YBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
/ c: w- A7 U, T% DWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）" b. R) Y; ~# b* {6 }" g+ z
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。/ {( d; H+ ?- K* P
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）: k$ Q: @& n5 \7 I
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。3 d9 T& y, A% R) ]) S# [
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
! _' r" X. q6 X3 bLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.$ `; c* m7 v7 D* V' T
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) `4 O5 T; i8 c  o6 K* o6 g$ f接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。! \% J: g8 \( ?5 V
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
" {  ?  N) d3 r( ?  \Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
3 M3 h+ }( r# \: G% kWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
  J6 N9 N" _+ KHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）3 d8 W  _! I7 ?
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?  A" G+ x! f0 p/ V" t! j+ ^
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
% o3 f/ R1 x- Q6 E$ }" AHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
0 p# B$ i8 d" S# vWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
! Z" u% |& \; c. u- y+ c+ F0 D8 _Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
/ `( I+ K2 g4 T, R& c4 S3 PWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）" r4 ^1 _. S) |! V' l
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
2 g8 K/ ^% o8 U3 I（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）" }. m, L) z$ Q6 K% g3 d
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……