《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。5 F6 A; m$ N: I, k3 `1 p/ v
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
, t; e" s) T2 h8 LHolmes: I just picked it up.
- h2 I' @0 Z! k7 DWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）" v3 b! Z) e% ^/ e. e& \
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.& V9 l9 b& b! M% w/ M, C- c' Z1 h
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）! D, W  u& s, b( G: a. c
Holmes: You did.5 }! ^  P) j- A& O) p6 E
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
2 Y% G8 w3 e  p3 _8 QHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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7 T: i. k# P1 s6 V: Z% `宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
2 W4 ~# S( w' U2 G( bWatson: Permission to enter the armory.# v' G1 ~' h- R9 j2 `7 F
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。6 e: U' a; X4 g8 G- p
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。! o! R; B( k3 h
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）% H: }- W! Q0 T5 A9 J& j
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$ V4 Y! i4 k5 y( ]; Y1 `" }. L5 DHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。& A. \  q' Z/ X5 h, {! R, ?
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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0 S; h6 k% x. S+ b4 C5 K& e8 {0 iIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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# ^* R, Y  q, M$ \" R: f3 ]Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?4 U$ ?! I) j5 m
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）$ x0 j# p6 B  j* e
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
0 |) Z# @! F. C1 \& CHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）. A8 k, \4 I3 t: S- l
Watson: Get that out of my face.
5 T5 {6 E# [  j* m8 W" EHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
3 x# R6 `0 b' B  k% P" j! WWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
; m) |: r( K8 S/ J路人警官Clarky上场。
2 h8 O% f. T+ ]( p; P" i4 w5 S$ oClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once./ D0 {/ {2 x! Z$ \2 l% H/ E
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）: b7 T8 v! j- ^: k8 d
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。) T& j3 o8 _$ G$ h
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?$ A7 }+ T+ G. i! R  E" E
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.8 m; `; v" a2 I; q
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) Q( C: D! D; h# G) r4 E墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。1 D% s/ l  U2 m" {# j, `
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
4 y3 Z" K( H* |+ }3 F2 vHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
' E+ I  Z7 I9 E' @3 mWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）- s" F1 |: C0 J* n( u  [+ H( t: c
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! Y- i8 x$ g! K3 o7 d河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。) o. V  u/ x6 z3 ?7 x
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）1 g+ \8 _! H4 Y) L9 T
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
3 u+ ?5 O$ v  _Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）* L( P; k: c$ O
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。; l% V3 }6 ?; t5 z3 \
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）0 t. `7 m; t8 y
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。5 g7 q5 l( g2 W
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
' j3 I% p2 E7 E" t# @. r- yLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.  ]: c+ d* Q' W& u% |
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。0 r, |& z/ b+ R5 g
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
8 N; H8 z  a0 i9 YHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
- ^, t/ K) I! _! z8 R: ]Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
# y+ D5 b1 W1 w; sHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）  |$ f' ^# U  Y5 M' t
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?5 [6 L. c) g* ~. {  [& n5 ^
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
% J% d4 h5 |3 yHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
) K5 q, G& d* W' d( Q- EWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
1 r' y* v0 s  m0 _1 s  X, hHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）; r- f( S  x) A" w& D
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
; K  z8 t% Y2 {+ G: J/ ?3 hMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）8 s( d! S. `1 Q
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）$ P  Z* A0 ^8 J$ ?
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……