《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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7 R3 |$ |- n2 _% ?. p影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
$ O$ F2 X4 k0 E* Q$ H5 CWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
. t; w+ R7 o% p; x5 x8 [9 x  NHolmes: I just picked it up.- c8 N- B- P" C- w4 k
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
" ~$ O1 R+ \9 N/ l2 FHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
6 C  W! o% L1 M$ w0 m0 t- jWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
; q) I: f: r! j" Y, L" }6 gHolmes: You did./ z: U" R8 o$ d1 A0 A' _6 c
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）, P0 G: Y1 T9 W5 E( C# M  w7 N) d
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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( l1 Z" B- K( D5 S. M0 w. ?宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
% H0 d$ h3 e1 M) B) ]! \$ ?Watson: Permission to enter the armory.5 g, u$ m6 |/ W: D" B6 G) ?
Holmes: Granted.
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. x- n! X8 `  O! i晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。" i$ Q/ R  s3 S3 j. ?
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。$ `8 J- B0 E( G
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" _2 R/ X5 T; E7 _/ mWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。" n! z! X) i$ _0 ^4 ]+ G( x: B
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）$ z' _8 [5 U, D$ d7 [
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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2 A+ G+ Q) `& B( b# G- q) wBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。: Z: |/ {* @; H4 _% y0 J
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。/ L- ?- b  ?9 v: z
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）7 b/ z3 o, Z" W( A" O6 z1 O: D7 s- \
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?0 P- ^- s8 i5 W2 p
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）7 \; \! y0 X9 z, C0 N
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.# @! k+ }! h* `) |/ x8 }8 ~
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8 }- R" {5 h- k2 OIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
- |0 C( C* O0 |! r" nHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
5 v1 q; C, ^5 L  B5 f+ k+ kWatson: Get that out of my face.  ^' y6 b2 k' l% i1 B; V4 K
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.+ G7 R$ ^0 c; h' f" K
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.& x; @  P% h- z- o$ m* A- \
路人警官Clarky上场。
: e+ `/ d9 C* YClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
7 h* d# C" I! j" }: }Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）$ D1 c0 S/ ]; _# C, r" d+ s
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。/ ~* Q8 @7 ?5 i5 \/ b
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?# E/ \, i+ K: h
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.# s8 h7 u+ f+ M+ B6 N! C
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。' S% x0 k' q# j& i' o
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
' `7 H2 t" g6 Q. X8 mHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely." n* W2 c* _" @) t3 D/ ]# a; H
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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4 J# @0 `: h/ U7 U3 Q8 f$ C7 i河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。/ \% R6 B0 t* m5 J- I; _
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
- y; t+ p, ^* C- s6 ]Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…+ V2 I3 l1 r; c- M3 Z2 i- i
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）& R0 F6 q: }8 M( j
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。4 k( g$ f' Q' H8 S/ S" a, X" n
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
$ e9 T! z  j* U后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。3 S0 w, \' K# c1 S: t0 f
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）) o0 h# `" a% z( A5 U# I* |
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0 ~8 l' ?8 @- x- ~( V) Q警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
5 o7 o8 a6 _  T/ l7 A8 U" MLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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& g' c9 z) y6 j1 m$ }4 }: e4 N# B6 J接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
5 f9 h) V. p$ O8 V+ @话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
$ o% ~& |, Y4 W9 z8 IHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）5 N. r+ y6 v: M' F
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
# o) l9 [: v& H# R2 d/ O, fHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
  o4 k" {* J3 \" ?Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
. Z% K" s4 e# g7 L& @Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
. G# p* F' j% {Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）, b" }3 ^# O4 I5 P) W) I$ a* R
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）$ S4 L: M! {4 v0 M# X% o3 g2 _
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）* V' P$ D* w7 D8 y. g6 F( S
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）7 [6 b# `, \& R+ f$ X% h
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
2 x6 R' B$ A5 v! k/ n; p: s（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……