《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。; S& F3 T3 u2 Q: w7 o/ w
***********
3 I' I0 F: W$ R  t1．
- J! u4 J; }* p  z7 Z影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。# s) K7 ]! u* H) @/ y  c
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
$ ]" P3 b& N) b3 n7 {. V* e: YHolmes: I just picked it up.
0 U6 l* g6 a' C0 V; Z8 a0 VWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
7 U9 Z$ D9 p& i$ u1 oHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
5 l0 j7 _8 w; m" T. SWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）8 I/ Y* y5 v- F; r' p5 w' d9 m, M
Holmes: You did." N! Q" ^  G9 z" y5 g3 J
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）. n$ q, ?# F+ ]6 _
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.( z; c' H0 k- p* l# T. ~
2．  O# s& x' g' v# _
宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。( Y9 D" l& K2 Y; s( ^3 f
Watson: Permission to enter the armory./ T% U1 G! R* U
Holmes: Granted.
0 v" r  j* y! W* b6 I# \. E7 @# s" T3.
: ^; ]" Z# J3 X, V) Y9 n晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。6 k% W8 }4 d/ S
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
' H8 W- L) |# t; C' b+ [0 y4．2 S( h# D; {5 E4 X- S- @
拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。& Z. L+ u1 c* \+ d$ [( {: G8 H
5．2 M$ H/ K4 C0 @1 ?# `
Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。9 |3 [' ~$ I, |" i% Z% D
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）3 ]% {' l* K: Z* p% F' u
6．
% Y. L6 x* w* _Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。& e5 N: C6 B. H( I
7．
# @! t- g/ y* t0 }' J0 IBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
( J  [3 K) ~" M6 @8．
* d  r, I# Z) Z7 TIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。4 s) H8 ?4 H9 d6 u* x3 f9 C( k
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）$ E& Y0 ^. [* N8 a* t6 O1 Q
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?1 ^3 r. J/ D' G* ]( H9 t4 O6 `
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）6 G" X  L  x5 w4 s
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
# N( k+ L8 n" t! _9．
. a& F; `7 V/ z3 |! G" W2 r% gIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。5 m1 e- H" Z! l' G% @5 F2 u+ f
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）) ^9 |. K; b5 @; n
Watson: Get that out of my face.
) p, H) Y; I: a) v* tHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
4 ]2 `& B8 f; ]; x8 UWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.! h; A* q0 ?/ D
路人警官Clarky上场。
6 n5 W% g# T; h& q, B/ h, eClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once., ~9 n$ J+ v6 l( l% S* U5 E
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
" O7 P- n& u6 C' S7 k: c得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
' t% a5 N  `( @Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
  c) c, d  ^& g/ J$ hHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.* b* \% I; _8 K( L6 W
10.
3 G  q1 B- e$ B4 b/ w9 G( \& `  G3 ^* g墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
7 f7 M+ H+ d9 \$ u3 S（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
, W% O0 a+ W$ k6 k& [% GHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
; ~/ e# l5 `& e$ l3 M  t  R2 gWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）6 \% S/ v+ f( j7 ?+ B& T
11．
* x& C, {8 j8 K: n# k河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
; W8 r1 d2 O& b% q* f' wHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）, u3 s% i2 C# ?# o9 z8 Y- }9 n' F
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…9 }" J. g; e- ?7 K0 C
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
7 z% v9 v7 ?. x' v; ?死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
0 m- K' P( a( FHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
. J$ g8 D( h9 c' K' p+ d, q后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
" N8 R+ }7 a( q+ J' F' g# V4 AHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
0 A) c9 a. r3 B8 O! o12．
( `2 d9 a0 ?, u1 r# T* |; {$ Q# I警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
) R1 S# K# ~# L2 z! gLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.9 O0 K; L' n' I! q3 S- L
13.
( ]7 k  s5 c  ~7 r- t接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
5 g( l1 b& g; @话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
9 F1 a6 v: [  m3 O+ X6 WHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）/ ^: t8 ~: W  ~- ~/ S* o  J' J
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
# m  V8 J4 ?1 p" p/ @6 w8 FHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
5 [8 p5 \( |4 M- oMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
1 A) j- ~% A) w' M/ w2 qWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）! g4 N5 j1 `' E
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
& j4 e0 `( x' PWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）4 D2 q* U/ ^0 [" H9 D. N7 f
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）! |% [3 _1 I, j
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）" f8 Q; Z" Y9 b, `1 b3 T; Q8 a
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
5 _( v: X; R1 s（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
' r$ `, k9 B, A0 J***********& g7 p4 `, l$ q6 ^  M  |
总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……