《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
0 O1 ~8 F3 R- ?( Z3 E***********
( A+ Q+ s" N9 B, I0 R1．
$ S- i) `6 B) Q9 }影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。' G: u2 g5 |* Y, m7 [, ^1 N
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
! x4 T& [  [+ mHolmes: I just picked it up.& g% Y& m% j( p. N: U( m4 A0 b
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）- v: f- s7 r) J8 x, Y5 d  w
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.2 p$ n+ x( V" M3 }" k. W
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
6 y" u& L$ ^, \* {7 d: H4 FHolmes: You did.+ J5 {! O. ]: I* C+ [
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）/ M  f$ D) I9 E* ^4 q5 @* H
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
4 _' Q0 S. w. n; f& J# {7 p5 W& ~2．- g; p; [2 D' T7 s* E; \, q8 z% C1 B
宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
& w: d2 d  g8 U' U, sWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
8 X0 \! C' x/ P: R( F: K: {* b& ZHolmes: Granted.& N3 X/ j% L( x  G( \7 y: r
3.
9 V- q8 _' s* ^8 K晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。7 Z" k: o/ Z! E( [2 J3 z
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）0 s9 M( B; G; j' E* @& q3 g
4．6 K' S8 N4 z1 P8 t
拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。) Z+ F- [8 R& e
5．! M$ }' i# t3 g* w# R  O2 V8 I; ?
Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。6 z4 b. @$ k/ P2 s$ z1 f
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
) X+ L$ U3 u4 n+ u3 V; I+ R+ D6．
- Q+ ~. T7 \9 y7 V9 KHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
0 Q1 T0 }2 O, |( o7 Y1 U7．
8 v. \, S/ ~+ S6 ?$ P9 FBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。( Y6 D! ~/ ?6 s8 f- x
8．$ Z" F8 [" m; ~
Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。! W) w6 o/ {% w8 G0 K( h2 T7 v1 r
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）& t# c$ W' o! q: ?
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?& v6 D" ]) m3 i1 e9 O" x
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）! L' b5 A& c' X
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.. ?0 Z# g1 C2 l8 a( j  _0 B% j
9．! q% X0 P! {1 J
Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。' r4 f5 V, W6 \+ Z. x
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）! _, x; R* z! L6 Q6 |7 y0 G
Watson: Get that out of my face.; W0 ?5 {/ ]/ x: ?. H4 \/ ]
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand." f) Y5 {- F* P! u, e0 n( E: C1 D( z
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
2 e) Z3 l# C, W* n8 V1 l) J路人警官Clarky上场。
; Q' `& _% H# z3 K; s: `9 v3 L/ Z+ ^Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.) p3 E  q6 [4 q( l  Y
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）6 y. |1 @# L7 U" }3 Z. M) E
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
5 l; j0 ^& I+ W1 ]' d5 ?7 L4 kWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
; t, r& Y! ?0 Y, r, C0 `Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.3 @- L" k2 [/ M; R. D
10.
7 D5 d! o0 B- N6 J% _5 W墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
, B5 ^: Y3 a$ i5 y3 d  s' b（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）* Y: w6 Y- P8 _1 _' C9 k. j$ o
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.9 r. U0 e4 L* R' u1 w
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）$ H& y- }, v* n0 ?
11．
0 c- C+ j7 f* U" _: R$ e7 s5 |河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
! q- @) V% v" H7 I, L/ EHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
" [2 I! X9 G! l2 PBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…1 k* D& ]% _+ F9 M5 E
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）* i- d6 f9 o8 c; l  m( Y# N! W- b
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。* ^; D% n6 i2 f8 N) F. t
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
6 z1 t8 c3 \) |' S- I% O后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。& f# j% \; P# @; x& F
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）, x9 s" _6 A- A
12．
/ i) y4 v$ b% O2 z9 V警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
1 I% O6 U# a8 a4 pLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
0 h" X/ j; c3 n13.8 K0 I4 Q8 E4 C. w1 \
接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。% B. |! W9 B+ `) F7 N3 {6 Z! ]
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。5 D- D1 ^) n( G
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
: j4 O  v$ s5 \Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）% f' B6 |& f; N, T6 _5 H
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
$ h- t6 a8 g0 m) `) `) R) m" fMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?5 d4 @. @" b% C0 N& l7 A
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）/ T$ m0 K- }# \' }0 P, t9 E
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）% s: J" m, U1 S: H5 W# }, v$ C' ^; i4 J
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）3 B7 }' h  A( {# E
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
- c& b0 r* n9 x, W: \1 t7 {: ZWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）$ Y2 B0 ~) ]+ s& O, o# E* _3 Q
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
2 |8 {' J# O) v. e（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
4 ?5 o1 ]2 \, D***********
4 j8 R" I: L/ X5 e总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……