《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。; R4 M! a$ t* N8 Y% z2 Y
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。  t: A8 z4 j' K8 O" K3 m
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）3 o! N1 R$ Z  {4 J
Holmes: I just picked it up.
5 N9 e3 @: |% ~& k( q2 b  KWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）! T4 [' v9 e. E$ O
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.1 u, m1 m# T+ k) C1 e: Q
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
' x% ]. W7 E2 c  c6 ~$ v  [  KHolmes: You did.2 g! q; z- }3 V/ ?- D/ b
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）. ~0 u4 J) k6 D! ~  ~$ x5 F
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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" `/ D! D/ [. y( E; m+ D/ ?宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
. m+ n! w, |: E" tWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
! A& O: v  [: a* ?. GHolmes: Granted.
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* U2 Y% i; n1 K# }7 O( N1 w: [晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
) I5 B- R3 `0 O4 b6 o) l( |Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）4 S' H9 i. A- @8 V# h
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。& Y& o# J' D( o) s, T# V2 G: f
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: B2 u, {5 O' ]1 p& _Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
1 [+ z* h2 e: N8 i- S/ BWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）1 b) J( g/ Z4 g4 _" q
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/ J3 c+ `& b$ w7 c7 AHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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' X) K! v0 d) M) PIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。* n0 p% Y+ B* _5 n9 [5 ~( U
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）% D& n! ?6 }6 v( A! f/ E* q3 V
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
1 q% s9 x! h4 @6 p6 Q  w7 }6 MHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）! p( q) P/ B' u8 |8 ?  J7 g
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.8 ]- z' Y5 q7 O# V
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
2 y$ W* |3 z2 e/ {3 T. S0 eHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
' q6 E) i6 z7 w" tWatson: Get that out of my face.
) A4 x$ G2 B& {) }; A, XHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.9 {$ a7 m9 g8 U" |$ Q* x+ S
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
# ?% ?( f. ]- l$ ]% A- t路人警官Clarky上场。! T  t% M: ~- N4 ?7 T
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
2 }2 V5 n1 [+ A. f1 x) T8 pHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）9 X$ J2 ?$ c( J2 t5 z$ h% A. D
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。0 n5 }! g8 _7 u# S9 w( i! _
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
0 [3 E% z; X- _1 Y1 iHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
9 d6 g9 c- p& d- B（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
( k1 y9 l8 U6 q3 {% d( a) rHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
" x! [5 E7 P6 X6 NWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）; \. V' t+ f6 u( g& e
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" j5 g8 }' S3 \  ^0 ?河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。& q3 Y" W* P. _: {+ o7 t
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
$ p' L6 q, w1 a! D" DBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…, y7 F' u3 |5 D' G6 C5 ]% e
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
. m: d; G% N5 D1 i' F( P死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
/ @4 s6 T! v% j0 o) THolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）1 g5 I; B, W% U$ |8 {
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。2 r2 {) Q/ a, A4 f- Z9 Y9 u
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）( G* [- y0 G) ?7 o7 o  O  S
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. K8 A) t- h+ Y9 t警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。1 y; i; X. i1 I/ L$ X6 t$ J
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing./ ?7 H& W; l( R% G
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
: k; Q+ f" r* z' s* d0 x# L' `话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。8 D) X5 L  Q, ]. {. l
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
( c. {+ D: ~- c) {Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
0 Y' O6 L; n7 m$ u: c2 bHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）9 f9 k9 \. f$ k
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?! c1 l4 d4 V# s7 o' J3 Y
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
: {. O( S" _( i0 S+ y* E6 eHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
3 l, {$ H- S! x! EWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）" P3 S) M4 }+ O. Y; W- `# J
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）7 D; e* n* Z: L6 L
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）5 y4 v# a8 J/ O! y( v1 |+ I! I6 X
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
3 w1 E7 ~3 m; M$ F4 e$ d（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）' F: C. p! u2 d& ~7 @1 y5 r
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……