《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。! x- D7 R4 o+ z
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
: n/ _3 Z( P# d5 }2 K+ L$ \: V# DWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）- |/ v$ z" ~1 o# r. O& l- L
Holmes: I just picked it up.
8 z9 V  D8 [7 M9 Q; x! x4 ]; ~5 mWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
4 K' E2 M9 g# w9 _3 Y2 q4 {Holmes: Knew I forgot something.' ]6 O, a$ d( {) J2 I) M0 \
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）5 Y' Q& x7 t* j
Holmes: You did.* R" R) f1 X/ O0 n, [; ]
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
* i- ?- V) H  S9 |Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.+ Z5 |( l/ R. N  ?
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。# P1 ^6 B* N4 p/ X0 R- N5 k
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
& X$ j5 c% L! R7 U/ N. z+ FHolmes: Granted.' {- j' G. Z/ D+ E
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3 h1 o8 u2 J7 t, j, ^晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。% a8 U  T/ |/ ^% g# S, B
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）' W+ U6 z- A( D, g5 ?
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* P& M, G% L0 v& V) R9 @. n拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。6 r" u2 i7 I$ Z0 }. b4 T" L
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。% }% N5 x* `' q0 o
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0 _9 n: ]6 A  cBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。; F3 N7 m- b0 Y% X- v/ B# K5 Z
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
1 ]* v9 ?+ O# J( G& p5 X4 B2 i（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）! v( Y, R2 j# ?, e
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
" ^0 ]" z( d) Z; X3 J0 k6 tHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
% Z! a, w5 m. r" d  \Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.; b* {: o% T- n8 f
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" O/ v) n1 K7 |, g3 `' gIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。, Q7 E$ a/ R9 R9 d; `# z% f
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
3 i4 g/ Z5 Q" b9 _. P/ P  m+ ]! YWatson: Get that out of my face.( M% W0 C+ A' l; b4 }
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
. o- S$ F* g$ C0 yWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
4 }! F5 C: k) p: t路人警官Clarky上场。
; r" e" g4 Q, Q3 @Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
" o1 l, P/ p! z4 h3 lHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
& \" k# c! ]2 _, ?# a得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。" S* e" T: b1 B$ v8 r
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
0 T3 t8 V% w2 G  h7 G; [Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。1 f; D' b9 U/ [/ j1 u) F% Z; w
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）0 `# ~% ?% F8 I5 r
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
1 \+ J. u% h) y  X' y4 y5 f4 eWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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$ T5 v  N% }1 B, b" Y: o! F. X河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。7 I5 [! Z/ K# J+ Z9 }% n' @1 y
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
. t2 x, E1 G" l4 [. BBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
2 V# A- `6 g. XWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）& z' z' a5 g+ V% C
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
2 e; M7 o! j! DHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）( ~  |, c& Y1 \8 M# k
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
4 N/ _) i' q) Y0 a4 M4 dHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）  r" e) r9 _* n2 X. l" [4 I
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  F( f1 z# g( Q% ]) {$ N$ W警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
5 y) `) t1 a5 s: Z! _Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.! @- _, k- F9 N5 k3 |: y7 t$ I) ]
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5 M2 {6 R' U/ R. X$ J- B% d& U6 g接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。- k# u) I4 h& Q9 ?8 G3 b9 J% F* e
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。/ n7 r" `7 B7 p/ P( m/ h7 K
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
# t# q$ K3 s, R) f7 Y8 VWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）+ n: r2 l0 d, T  C% O
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）5 j! g/ |+ P) j, \" t# x
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?* o2 r# B0 X; O, R- }0 T9 m7 ?
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）1 f; ]) u3 f$ \1 o% `
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）; z: }1 O2 O5 X, n# E
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
$ b. C5 q8 F+ `4 t+ VHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）- m( {$ C# |3 Z
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）: {# t" k( h# M- s0 l
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
! p/ l" T. Q) @（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……