 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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1.
% o3 x' u% J4 R影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 , ~- e6 b' `, D/ d& R
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) - P" U) x' V& ?7 e
Holmes: I just picked it up.
, B' ?7 O; P3 t! Q$ [; Q- [Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
7 x& B2 h. r7 C: b |; [ i' q8 R8 \Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
0 [7 t( X9 N" D& K1 n2 W* jWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) ' E2 F/ U+ y3 @3 H5 S
Holmes: You did.) _) r! O o' s4 m, z/ q/ @# B
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
6 a+ h( `; w1 e9 z9 jHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.$ R8 G, R/ G2 B) @) E3 C
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 * C$ T3 S3 s) N
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
5 r9 J6 n% R8 K1 m9 I# o3 FHolmes: Granted.8 ^5 L' w+ L0 @" c9 J3 f' [
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
) }9 E' p) Y7 n& PWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 # G$ c2 U( k7 i
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
9 g X( y1 w9 s% aWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 0 N' b; w/ ^) u' y/ N+ K
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 . _5 U. l# t) ~: ^# \; P/ _5 I
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
2 `: p/ {4 |' }5 f* R) k4 MIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
{$ N& ~: q% z# i0 NHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 7 a( P9 w9 K+ G% T6 n
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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: }* Z5 O7 y' U j# X9 nIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
3 d' o% J0 D' Z1 |/ B" ?+ Q6 qHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) ! F: E$ ~) `, l! n) t* ~
Watson: Get that out of my face.1 C4 Z, ~8 m7 u1 g
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.! q9 R: i: ^! a: c+ ^$ p
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
- m. I3 Q, J) Q- U9 Y路人警官 Clarky上场。 . J2 P3 m5 p+ p+ D, O
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.3 f. E5 c M. H; v
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
; v+ ~, Q7 }# O+ o$ T得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
; ~, Q/ h7 f8 H- {8 PWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
- o) W5 k) H1 z! p7 OHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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. r& Y+ u I- }2 g墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 Z& c! Y# p* y9 M( C- Y
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
& n2 `( H6 p' M4 KHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
4 L& y! I7 W8 c( N! ]& \Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) 8 Z( J5 |* v9 O9 e
11.
: |# p# O: ]3 Z5 ?河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
1 T' C4 @7 S, m6 r- | U- BHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
) d L! Y, g* y6 m! a$ I# q" Y( uBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
1 G5 O: e8 k2 h* [Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) , o+ Y1 h- c) m7 Y
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 4 J9 b/ K* u% _
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
( D) A) `: f5 P* _后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
* e( ]) ], v6 H; n+ K) `Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 4 r, S' w' @: f* I
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 ~; k/ E. @ z1 U
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.# r1 ~% |2 i; K0 R' N& k
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
; H/ r0 x/ r/ O话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 ' G7 u/ d1 ^5 I* R. T% K- B( @
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) M% w, i% ?4 y/ q1 X- J+ b7 S1 I
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 5 S8 B; g' e, P6 n; S* v* [
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
: [6 l1 G2 o$ H% a* C% RMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?2 U8 a) J3 m! W6 Y; D$ o0 y" F) \
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
/ M/ o3 k# N) t3 Y6 g& D% H! |Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
8 C, f: M' B- Q/ _% B- fWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) ! r8 s8 x+ q& q$ H
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) % D& ^( a3 T) i7 ?" b) S+ ~
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) " q2 K; U, ^+ v+ f
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
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/ q2 _% K' v# ]# \总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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