《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。; z9 \7 i  f; m
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: V3 M1 |+ Z  o2 w影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
# I6 d% ?" D# {Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
; @# y3 [  d/ R8 [# z* ?& h3 E  {Holmes: I just picked it up.
/ g5 C: u4 _& @3 K/ L. RWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
$ Z, T1 ~9 X5 K) v" ]Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
, B7 U( _' x1 ?9 a4 v/ G1 eWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
& Z/ e; {/ N# j9 t; G& [Holmes: You did.
0 |( L) |, k3 f/ v, L" r（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）! J; v# @5 }9 u; w
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.! j4 ~2 r/ v; ]& {! A5 ~2 Q
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。- J! g6 L- U% f9 b3 x' }7 U  m( k% X
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
& ~4 O# s6 C. MHolmes: Granted.2 {: I5 w  `3 j3 h. d9 e& y
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
% Z! Q$ c7 S3 j" Q, f% QWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）* p: [6 p% V: A. Z
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$ Y, F  F) v; Z* y拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。3 Q+ K" _* y& W( J( x
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
" \; v6 j) u; b$ `5 n. ^Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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  \: l1 Y3 w. c' K' O2 D$ AHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。6 |) Y- o2 T8 S( @, M2 ]
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。5 B/ F2 y' b; Y" t
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。( w% C% F+ l1 M
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）5 U+ Z( y1 r! ~6 P7 P& D: t/ [' m. e
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
0 m# c" e4 Q. R( x0 e9 K/ Z6 LHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）  O3 M  [% G! {0 g. A* U- K
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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4 K, w0 [) q# Y# v( n' C( _Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
4 G: l+ V1 g$ W! h0 E* J5 eHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
) g* W; P, @  M$ r5 q  _5 I& G  A( CWatson: Get that out of my face.
+ R! a1 f3 ]  [: MHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.! _6 f9 y+ H( s5 x, l0 i* X0 i2 x& Y
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
" z+ h# t: R2 Z' X9 T3 T. U路人警官Clarky上场。
6 d! b( Z( z6 Z4 fClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.' _2 [$ C6 g: a
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
- @* Y2 i+ S7 k6 e得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。+ d3 Q4 y% d2 z* F
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?% t0 v& C! V! n! z! ^- g
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。, h: T5 p  @8 W: Q, [
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
- ^. @! m4 {$ {7 O; z8 L4 MHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.2 l) d, \* D% S: ^5 f/ l$ m" k# x. {
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。! x0 u* c& b: W8 G/ C! B. n
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）7 A* @- \  ~7 t  I1 m1 a
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…2 {2 O. M; B& A
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）; I- t+ @; A; e
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。* d8 V* P+ P7 H9 s
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）4 E- ]: M( F4 P/ K; g% q
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
: B  M/ _( ~& @3 OHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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8 b3 H7 |0 O  z# W警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。5 y0 F# [. E$ j: P& j
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing./ Z: ^% ^  u; x* N
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) r: v9 j) z0 X接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。0 b9 d- Y* u) Y% w7 c# |2 w6 _
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。" c  a2 h( @+ f2 R" [8 W0 E. ^! i
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）6 F/ C& f- p& `$ W
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）& V$ S, P8 s: J. j
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
# r- G0 v6 G5 f; N- _2 s8 ~Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?/ L0 T6 Z9 o7 o! ~
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）# @8 C9 N2 `1 r: E" j
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
+ b4 R9 U7 g9 q. w- eWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）# P. X# d1 r. ~3 M3 \
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）# f# U  s% T, t9 m4 z% S/ I1 |
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）9 H( T( Q! T$ J  R  d
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
7 L9 F' U* [4 {# m6 i  J5 L6 o2 ]& u（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）% A1 ]: k4 |4 Q8 c/ U
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……