《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。9 E& U1 t0 W( E) m6 ^
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。8 _6 K3 _- f8 x9 n% L
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）; p# M& y" X; [3 ^5 F6 Q
Holmes: I just picked it up.
: \3 M3 f* b- e2 p  Z% `Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
) z* C8 ~6 p: t! R( H1 YHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
5 Y1 V% o$ P( j+ L& U# N1 }Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
6 z8 |- A/ O7 O9 O  rHolmes: You did.- n- z' p6 F% [8 h( R7 ^  y$ F
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
7 b2 E; M- J+ tHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.' E0 x' W. y: x( h" h' K6 K4 I% t3 ], x
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- h" ~" o  x9 t宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
, _. j. K8 i- t2 x1 \* cWatson: Permission to enter the armory.5 \: a1 M) u% |7 l
Holmes: Granted.5 V3 i6 I6 Q) J# k; J/ K+ D$ X3 U
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
8 w" o! [9 u- w' u# q! ]* X5 X7 wWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。2 e' i& Z+ r9 |# _% ^# w, ]
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" E6 f" t$ Y1 ~0 e/ kWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。7 |: G% f0 R* ^+ c  ~3 {$ v
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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0 Y0 n5 o$ j3 L- O) GHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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9 [1 Q  P  ]9 ^8 ~. IBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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2 r. E9 u) j0 i+ l+ x6 X' yIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。$ \8 Q  ]# n: U# X! y1 h; }* u
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
# K/ _- ~# M) F  e+ ]Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?5 r) l, _- d, K0 D3 d8 [
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
1 |! I9 R: `' _( T& ~  A) |# b& s, FIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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2 p$ @% p! u0 J9 @1 ~Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
- h1 N; [8 V7 K0 d2 xHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）1 G, z# {. @( Q% t
Watson: Get that out of my face.
3 _7 k1 t0 z* K4 ?) }& OHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.) v) g' q/ u; t; m0 V2 X4 u/ l/ @! T$ O
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.- Q5 G1 ]2 |3 |7 S
路人警官Clarky上场。% \( O9 t5 g& c' J
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
3 U7 M: H" }' n8 g, A6 \* E5 iHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
$ z3 F3 w' N1 g6 w' ~' c1 O  \' T得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。: e# c" B% v  J0 Z  e
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?" w( t9 P8 `; U$ [; |4 k
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.9 `5 q$ r% ]8 h! N
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。$ h& j( r& W$ G6 l( w
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
8 g8 u& N) ~$ Y4 I5 }2 r' PHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
% j6 F# F1 y* {- Z' rWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）; i$ n7 U) h' o& m1 R3 ?/ ]
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) U7 q% B) M+ h! v河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。, m0 h" j8 V+ u' x+ E1 v
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
9 K8 G$ J& h7 r& [/ kBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
8 \" }7 H# S: j1 LWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
! {$ O8 I8 N; |7 m& k2 Z死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。+ J8 o9 F7 t- S' X9 y, N
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
+ ?% u7 J6 K  s2 o' v3 k后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
  r. I' P+ ~" i) XHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）: L* \9 w+ B6 P
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
5 ^! F/ M0 H: I6 q8 G/ h) j1 iLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.4 P7 l" I" m/ l- L( a
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  U0 A! J2 D" M8 T. \2 K) s接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。& Z4 H  D+ u% M5 M
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
$ G- @6 T  T% g. W0 mHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）7 D) G. E& c: _+ z3 R- L$ O7 a
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
- j4 s5 \( J) Z5 GHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
( D6 R5 n8 g* d4 Y! Q) fMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
+ I1 T+ J+ s" R* o, v5 ?Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）/ ^  t% O4 |# W- A  w7 G8 [# C
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
8 v/ t. B* g2 S0 s4 wWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
0 L) p0 V& H6 a; I; I' FHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
/ ~4 V! `  N0 r6 c3 ~Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）/ x* I1 b0 E) \3 J9 m  P! `+ `) _7 s
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）1 S) e( T% Y4 a
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）1 p2 F7 V% M: ~# S+ ]& f" z- l
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& [. l* S* x6 `总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……