《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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( Q( E$ C) Q+ Z2 s影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。( l4 V) z  F# x" Z. ?$ r: _3 V
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
& S: V: Z: k$ W) O; Y9 THolmes: I just picked it up.
4 K' t+ B0 l- S+ t. _2 CWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）/ M* i; l5 V0 V4 o3 t" p; z/ r, R/ {
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
6 j# S; \: C/ H6 R  D4 qWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
; Q8 E- D( e6 V) \Holmes: You did.! ]$ o( Y! S6 H/ h& S/ L: u, V
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
7 _  X3 u' f/ H0 M8 IHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.- m3 K7 ?) J  x! {$ g2 r
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  \9 h' Z" a' V5 h/ q; V2 `# `9 O宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。  U, T' V( [* w8 Z- c7 M$ l# E& E; `
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.% N  F- n# t! v2 |; W+ u. {
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。( m$ C7 _' ^; C& T5 T7 j& d4 I
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）* j' b0 R) k; b! e
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。8 @1 P: [( Z( z# H/ H0 S# Y
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3 T5 H7 O, h# r$ L+ gWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。" y: u3 Y  W- f% H* b
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）  Z7 `: R: i4 u; f! N' L) Z2 J( ^
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。0 u- i9 V  ]$ j$ Q; r
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( s' U+ a. J# x# jBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
. ]2 v6 W$ h! [（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
: O% v4 _6 i1 M$ Q( dIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?  O0 V- M6 O/ V6 c+ w$ B0 R7 @3 `/ m  J
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
: j$ {* ^+ ]3 z; t3 sIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.+ y* |: o, r" F  j' g3 d
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。  `! l" I/ s1 [6 T1 M% f
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
# i$ F" K2 l6 ?3 b5 ZWatson: Get that out of my face.
$ j2 ?; l3 f. {. k& J2 VHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.: t1 r* n% \) y/ ?, V, i
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
5 V+ m/ _6 F8 S- }8 u路人警官Clarky上场。9 Y  T" L$ e0 G, G4 Q
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.2 {4 j& G6 U! [3 g% _9 S( m
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
- H8 t8 y% B6 O/ o7 S) p( a" ]得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
/ r) p; F& b4 h1 k0 G( T; IWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
) t2 l/ x5 |& S/ s! m- oHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.% x' c, B  `% _) x3 V' ]
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" t) W: u5 c4 j7 g( H* L墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。3 s. _& T. S, ]% s! M: u
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）8 o" k, W: Q4 c
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.( D8 \  J4 k4 h# A# Y6 U
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）. }  j1 I# y) C$ \
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
, S0 y+ h0 T3 g" YHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）; {4 g) z5 ?# `! n
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
# \+ z; }* e8 K2 L* c( uWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
( x9 @# e$ n/ I) m2 I# r死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
4 S1 ?/ z- R; e4 j, T8 h" R- yHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）. T" ]+ J# d, f; j9 X
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。  H/ {. V/ h' p( D5 I
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
6 }  {& ?4 Q# I# I: A; E2 PLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.3 g0 n+ `# }3 I- Q0 l# l
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7 s/ C  u. k. \! ]" K: Y# Y! `% t接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。9 I* L) x  x% D9 {
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
" V4 H# H* A: L4 @5 zHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
# }5 \5 p! ]) T/ u  {/ EWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
; _" b1 P5 U, Y( H. F. L! nHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）6 U  q. {% z6 k! }1 P
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?" q6 e" N, g4 F, Z: t$ Q0 G/ S
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
- \1 G* f, @! n* eHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）8 A3 I% p. i9 T* J$ o
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）3 B2 N9 f$ s3 s# O& d+ @  J
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）8 S. q: x& V) O( M, b# c
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
  V+ X2 n* D8 d' i; u5 DMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）% @8 v5 z, U: L& I
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……