《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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9 i$ }6 J2 A$ r# t5 T0 l影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。$ Z: W. Z; C2 q2 d( R
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
- l# T- {& ?. O% ^) i+ D, E' j1 I. j- ?Holmes: I just picked it up.
$ X1 L2 s. U. ]1 A8 @Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
% Z% I' J( v  p4 o, {) H2 l2 qHolmes: Knew I forgot something.' N" a8 R* M" k6 k$ K( W* L
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
& G: t0 A6 n; Y& U9 HHolmes: You did.
# E$ k( C/ q/ B+ W- Q  h（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
+ T- P( X. `& p  u( n. BHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.' w& @8 y% ]/ f/ j
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7 _$ J1 [6 q6 C5 q" R' \) ^( c宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
3 `" i* y$ v/ `  \/ N7 n- b2 xWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
. q. o: f1 R) r$ h' m8 J3 J3 mHolmes: Granted.6 }$ Z% W- R* Q1 Q% L. n( O0 i# ^
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# X; z4 v, M' j1 u+ B2 U8 C' T晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
; d- v2 S5 D- E; E0 q. TWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）' I* o# D3 S: C" L# T  }' q
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3 S4 _0 `) B9 \3 ?+ X/ G拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。4 \; I/ l1 G9 C, j; o& B
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。$ ^, ]( D) P. R, j$ D, b5 G7 \
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4 j9 b( N+ v0 {9 G! M' U: kIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。7 w# k8 \0 Q( `- n& ]% o" D
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）1 R; ^  \  z$ }0 ]- v( F& s' Y! }8 T
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?5 n) L& L) R, L' Q7 ~
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
. B2 z) c8 z  k! n+ KIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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  O' Q2 m+ V* }" v' J. p$ dIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。1 l7 W9 g% B0 @
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）3 g: N/ K9 t& e  }  N
Watson: Get that out of my face.& x5 V# B& H7 Z" ]3 d
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
" W; E# m2 l6 ?) c2 H/ q: w% \# z$ fWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
- ^. t7 ]" j" a* I  L$ ^路人警官Clarky上场。1 P/ }- Y) Y0 k! L2 l1 d# [: }% Z
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
* e" A2 |0 h; D1 x4 x5 P! _3 }Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
9 Z+ Y% ~$ l) W' F& w' m# J得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
- T2 M  ?; Z4 \5 O% VWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
; t+ R" w' Z1 ?9 Z1 N2 @( C9 cHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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' ^; z& k7 N9 y% J$ D1 h3 P& c墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。) X4 ?% U7 c0 y$ n" g+ [  Y
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
' }" r$ A  d+ ~% H" G5 t. E9 `. xHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.; e% V- c! s# l3 Y- w3 t: ~$ x
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）. E& q9 \. r4 d
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
  K3 w. y: N3 \8 ?Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
: q* M6 O% q  ZBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
3 `; i- U+ b: Z+ kWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）1 _  Y  j$ ?6 Z0 h  n4 e9 R
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。" \4 f4 L0 B7 L* W5 d4 c
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
- q- Y9 o" K9 q2 \/ ^& c后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。+ U0 y- n! D* L2 `
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
+ Z; ?2 X; U/ u7 E' N, k7 `, ]( W$ Q8 xLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.0 P* ^5 X5 G! }; u- j  ]5 b
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1 X' M0 W& `- Q7 B5 v接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。4 \0 _1 M% K& c6 D; `' r$ B
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
7 ^8 z3 k3 J/ [# PHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）, h" l: z3 q  n  `+ u' R# e/ ^
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
; y( l* u" q% V' J" Q- qHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
( E" W( J8 {+ e9 K. q: DMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
1 o" K7 V; y1 Z9 T7 |2 jWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
" v" q' e1 T7 x9 `! WHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
3 G2 ?& a* U" W) x9 k# `5 mWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）2 ]/ b7 Q% Y2 c4 I8 {; Z
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）( m' L  j3 W" m& a
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）6 d+ a8 F) x: f/ |
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）# I7 q% z# l# r8 e
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）# o- V  u* Q+ r
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: s+ S4 k8 s$ U5 b6 f& p总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……