《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。7 v0 e8 M4 D9 B+ C: C
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, Y1 r3 f( e/ Y0 N影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。  l; r1 F/ @- N8 M. n
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）$ L8 ^+ X6 [* j" d' [& `
Holmes: I just picked it up.- u0 p2 Y! x) s) E4 P/ J* L
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
* p/ Q" y" ~. K# s1 n/ ]Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
+ F& E; s" d. @7 \# K! ^- U5 Z" PWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
/ O9 q9 t& E: }! f) ]0 P$ VHolmes: You did." H) J2 Z+ L0 t/ ?! v1 x/ {
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
0 E0 Y6 b1 _9 f" hHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.5 ~& q8 {2 [. ~2 E! L- e( m
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。6 f0 m2 I; l$ Z( ]" D3 s
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.5 F4 a0 Y3 l% h+ a% t
Holmes: Granted.$ G4 \- u, L3 x
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& Y' b) D# o" C1 h" G晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
3 a3 C! ^) w# NWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）, w  A( b- C- B# J$ h6 s3 {
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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, F  O7 x' A+ `# u: n  W6 nWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
, l. k/ N4 q9 HWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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) @, g" Q& c3 H- g6 z9 J5 R- O1 DHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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* j$ T3 z1 ^6 @+ }' A  @Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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& T6 ]; m9 m. [( x2 Q. Y: CIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?- ?# I1 ?' ^+ d0 ^7 |/ x* h
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
3 [0 l; U' ?* Q7 Y- r/ wIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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( U+ w+ c" ]1 g5 A- p0 p6 QIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
) h% r; h+ V( g' h0 E- K( z$ YHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
, Y- c+ u, Z& DWatson: Get that out of my face.
, h$ T+ x; x$ s! D# e' E: HHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
* p  j1 j0 T9 o* {Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
  H3 g4 K7 P8 j2 K路人警官Clarky上场。
6 p2 `4 g. M$ T7 @Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
# R( I$ r0 d8 @/ m* ^Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）# M9 n; N! S6 l
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。$ `, l' Z$ }3 W
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?8 u) n4 t3 [$ c9 {, ~2 ^# h, M1 h' ~
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.! ^* n: j/ v! i) n9 Z+ }5 |
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/ q( T) j0 g9 w- p- ?墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。9 _: B& p8 B, s/ s
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）3 g! }4 g2 G6 O# m# `
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
* Y4 R# N+ L+ {% _# M+ J  K- Y# M$ }Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。: q! F! D) M5 e, X/ c0 s9 {
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
: }3 b0 K+ {  _, }' T% TBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
  I5 i, f; O1 tWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）" Y5 U; T. E- r: v8 P+ p+ i1 x
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。+ C2 [4 e+ Q* }/ C
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）. }: r. c0 f0 b; B8 \! h
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。7 C) J# _$ f( [
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）5 r7 `2 p. A5 {7 u% k' O( d
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6 }5 v0 f& S" I  @0 J/ K0 F警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。3 Y  R6 I8 e( f& F% D; L; L
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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5 [) }9 y5 \4 ^! A: R" c0 p接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
5 [; F5 x7 b) {+ E7 J话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
& d4 j" ]9 b+ S3 b  M$ Q( f5 M% KHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
* Z2 X' s  o- BWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
' h0 Z; x4 O- {, v/ bHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
. @2 [2 _- V( O" i2 W5 e  lMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
9 p& d3 a* D) Y2 ~" O* HWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）  R3 b# e, C( W# Q' F( p: q
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
, Q7 a. \9 a3 W$ F, Y( ~7 DWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）* A( l! l. I2 t/ w3 b) B! v/ g
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）, K2 y2 F( l! L6 {; G5 q4 C& T
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）$ o" h7 L, q" S2 }; H7 @" i
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
( q; {" w# S4 _- j2 h1 O* x（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）5 Y! U0 u% j) K' c
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* \+ P. d5 h7 e总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……