《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。3 V, ^2 i& o; q; P) L
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
& L5 F6 k  K& o3 o& V) ZHolmes: I just picked it up.
" ~9 L% v; N1 DWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）8 W+ D: c. V! j- W! m1 A
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.2 \: `4 v" I, f  W5 i( a: ]: n
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）0 u! ~0 j6 Q0 M4 E- r& e* e
Holmes: You did.
& s9 g4 T* w9 u! u, T# S1 c( V（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）% [% @4 [1 X8 U1 T* F0 P: U
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.! Z6 e# P# d( e
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5 G( T/ @  J+ y* @% ^( G& v宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。" T. [  G3 R, I$ S  K
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
* o5 F. N- e& k$ B: `Holmes: Granted.5 a  I' Q5 y& n+ `, T
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。6 Z8 R" Z( u  M. e
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）# E2 _6 W) Q) k6 o1 V. E* R/ C
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。8 m. u* \. v+ F+ C% E0 T
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, u7 z9 u* u9 s8 YWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。( v3 M& }4 C' `
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）' b% J. R: Z8 t6 ^/ ]; n' x0 Y
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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& k, h- O" ~# FBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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( \( ?" u$ v: S% ^9 E$ {Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。/ i, f" e# N6 F: c4 s
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
2 S! I9 o0 w. h' L8 DIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
* ~8 s/ m4 v3 G! M: K4 `0 {8 ]Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
! d& }/ l  |; A6 lIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.1 s' v& [5 o; h+ o2 v
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
" z/ M: z2 P; t/ N( @% O0 [Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）5 |+ r2 b; f; \7 P8 }, T
Watson: Get that out of my face.- V8 j# s! a1 u( x6 g9 U8 o
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
+ i& |7 ^1 l5 ~+ |Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.- S5 q* o+ \2 S$ X
路人警官Clarky上场。3 P3 R3 [1 U( Z5 P% f+ h
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
& M* Q& ^# z8 f* E! R( W" dHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
! Z. M/ v% ~2 |) e# m得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
  _5 j, E/ r8 i  o& uWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
- f" `. r6 X1 B: k% \  P9 k! ZHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
9 A% n" [  i4 `Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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/ O% g# `" L- S" n- }( C河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
+ x* z* s& w$ lHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
# U. A, ]) U5 t$ a- V" C" MBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
5 F. D; N) v# o8 i& p; J. D" Y$ b8 qWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）  I  P& E+ U. }
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。* `' g0 ~1 ]. {, g, F! Y
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
$ T5 c4 F$ o% X4 _' L后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。" i1 g; ]- ?% z+ n+ Z% x
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）' l. Q7 P0 R0 y2 q  a4 }% u
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
7 j( f! ?7 m4 d. B# L' L! h  y( ZLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.7 Z5 x9 \$ G& y/ U, [
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+ ?0 M0 _$ x+ K接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。/ e  `: }, a$ M. J
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。2 R) r1 V) L! E+ s, q) l
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
  r9 ?1 E9 X0 j# M4 cWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）( M" n$ C$ `, m* g: R
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）1 N6 X* D3 w: L; S
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
9 X( `! Z% T* `5 w$ i/ eWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
% |3 V' i! B/ ?  }8 u0 lHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）) B/ C5 X" b  p2 U" n) u: I
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）1 k& W; s* p& T  i- H" q! q
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
5 V3 j" _  O0 l* UWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
1 W" Y- i2 c+ L2 r* hMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
; ^/ E, t, S2 Q: W( n# O/ e0 Q+ n（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）9 E3 V1 f- ]2 S8 F6 y6 l$ W4 m
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……