《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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+ t9 v. a6 t) z. y: z- T影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。1 |. n0 V. L, J. [; p
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）+ O1 k+ w1 k& T
Holmes: I just picked it up.8 ?3 g' t9 ?$ M9 M2 z
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）* T( A3 Z- K% s# a/ {/ F* w* d- z8 }
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.& ^6 N  Q2 t$ \% K! d2 }5 W& |
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
5 S0 `' s. v! ^& J9 h! mHolmes: You did.
6 o* d, V) z/ r- {（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）$ F- K/ U. Z! n, b! X6 ~# W2 E; ^
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.* }& {& W# v6 e7 f' K7 T6 W
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。3 w2 w) |" K! ]
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.2 G6 g! m' h& p0 G! s
Holmes: Granted.3 l& {! }& k! Q8 K& F+ T
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! A4 @  {1 s- T% V+ J% b% j* a晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。& ^  i0 ]6 _1 s& b& u
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）: C% E3 M$ k' Y% x2 O3 ~& b2 v
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  ?/ O% z4 b% ~0 R, @+ i5 x拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。' f* Y" Q3 l. b( z6 n
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$ {) t8 x) [4 x* y# R* aWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。0 a9 b  q* M- \: P$ X, E2 A
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）1 Z6 @/ E/ Y, c3 I2 \
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# s: j$ v# c2 Q$ _/ P1 PHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。6 F0 k2 R3 S5 A5 _- T
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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# k* w* C! R8 z9 n" K- XIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。( R8 V5 V; k, `' h2 b9 e- v' J, b
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
% |( c( ~4 I. i& t! YIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?# @- O3 H9 K1 o1 P; |
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）2 {% A; z% d  x6 K
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.& c; `! M: T, K7 ]& C6 s
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。" @5 y1 [  }; J3 s0 R- Q1 U
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
- l: t2 f7 b4 D, V/ L# mWatson: Get that out of my face.
: A3 H4 k& ^8 ?3 JHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.& w! ?7 H5 s& H, H, k6 r  i6 T
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
( |9 S$ X2 d1 q& \. R+ w+ D路人警官Clarky上场。, P3 J; T/ ?$ h4 \
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.7 L! l+ n7 A0 l+ j
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）7 e0 y3 p5 Y: {/ K9 ^
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
9 w4 z8 T- s6 P7 k8 V/ f. |Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?  _2 b2 h( _( k/ ]$ y
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.0 M, `. n) @4 |
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7 x3 f4 _1 v" Y墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
, ?- h1 t$ e1 E) v' D. J) I（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）5 b, {# c: C; p7 J' p/ H
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.$ r( ^( x% e# b0 e; C: A- @
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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1 T$ Y$ L2 o! o6 j. ?河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。8 {5 C" K5 C7 i+ L. o
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）- T  I4 A( q9 _( ^; h4 l8 ^8 G! t
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
$ f& W# `3 h1 @& l2 b7 ]0 c4 |Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
9 D$ ~7 ^4 T+ X0 I( w( T9 \死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
- O, m9 e2 N. s: Q6 c; `9 KHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）1 b* j: S# H2 E. T2 w3 x8 y( u
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
, T4 s- j2 t  N  \Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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6 @' w: E: M! h警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
& V/ |; U" M( E' C# `* _* `Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.3 n2 j9 [. e. j0 B& h! g
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。$ k' j9 I, }& c! O: d: o
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。; w1 A6 N- B( V4 P# t
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）& J$ w5 s2 M* f  I6 k8 ~
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）4 m; g1 w3 h& p' L. a% J( f: l6 W
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
& T& [# o: M5 q- EMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
0 s: U+ `' [- p" n% v" k* g6 R+ vWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）5 h9 w% h2 b; e5 T- W
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
5 c& ]/ c4 u# QWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
3 C3 `1 I4 C- r+ dHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
3 {+ p4 d2 h9 |+ t1 H9 I* f3 eWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
2 Q: T. k1 S. B7 j! OMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
# a, d- o- t) `* s2 A, J: o# i（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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6 i& \' E7 o+ M总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……