 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 % Y" ?& n8 l* i
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) 0 o V5 R1 q# S( E
Holmes: I just picked it up.
9 p" k( _6 S7 a' \" pWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
/ w# y2 N$ Q+ Y4 t9 E% r7 t) ]0 W& OHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
7 S% p4 l. p4 P2 d$ aWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) # H$ Y \% `4 M4 k- U. V* T
Holmes: You did.
3 w' ], U7 }# ^0 U6 o( x0 Q(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) - ]4 i$ r0 D* V! m8 h. w/ g: g- X
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
0 h* P7 k( I7 Y, R) k+ n, `Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
" u$ v' \/ X1 @3 G& g5 `Holmes: Granted.5 I+ x8 P- V8 d7 Z4 P
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 8 q5 n; W+ D% K% s* o
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) ) L' `* Y1 b I4 }: O
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
' R4 V# S9 Z2 DWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) + E6 p0 j9 G; ]% F) r' Q
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 * l) L& K: V( y' l" K8 V
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0 F: z, i. e1 r( g9 {) JBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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% R8 [% Y/ ?& S8 a8 f1 \" o4 sIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
/ u3 i1 x6 V! _2 V% u( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
% k5 v# T& v) Z. h) K: G# DIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?8 F* S% f" h: t( L' K
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
$ v* a0 I- W7 C3 K+ @, ^* s; PIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
$ H' J4 |6 C/ f4 e4 T" _Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 9 D; l4 H \& J8 S9 V
Watson: Get that out of my face.
" Q4 B! O h% e% bHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
7 `7 |) e# N8 E/ _" lWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
* g- `( A, ]* e. U8 G1 r# J% j路人警官 Clarky上场。
" `; {& G0 ?( W# H) P2 rClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.% I) n3 N. ^+ u ~# C9 l; ?# ^+ q/ J
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
( K% Z9 T7 a- q1 o- E得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
1 p9 m. E$ q2 Q9 z; W$ ~Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
# e2 `+ z. A8 N( o% A1 XHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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6 I8 R# l% ^* r: w+ X6 q墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
3 m5 S) [# O6 M5 S( b4 n3 Q1 k( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 7 Z& M' k( b1 L
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
* t" w L/ K) X3 _# g- TWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) 2 E7 j6 {: t* R [' m0 T# \: K
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
]% L5 V0 \% F7 ^1 p8 X/ p( ^5 r6 dHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
* g @7 L* z7 E+ @. ]2 BBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
2 a% c' u9 T1 X& wWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) % z, |4 r) G' j# w0 E5 `
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 - L _; M. W+ s) ^' r4 _
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) ( Y4 ` m; o) Y# a( r; C3 n( J# R
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 4 c+ x9 ]4 ~& ~% I
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) ! a* x/ `" O$ \3 v1 e- w
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' I0 Q5 W W( p7 \& F1 @( \! V# W警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
- ^% W7 ], v; G1 p3 O3 |- rLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.% u' ?; d; q) I% `) p' U1 h
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/ R3 \" v. _8 n8 z! _接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 8 T$ }2 I$ D. m+ ^/ ?, F
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 7 {) ~/ S3 P' d1 K, I |0 x# o
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) * i" V! i! w+ `$ C i( `# g
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) " f6 C/ t2 Q; d
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 9 g0 Y! T8 Q1 H* L
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
' {/ b( C9 ]. {0 k% }+ uWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) 8 O$ y8 V; H. K4 V( a
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 6 M. ^( q, o+ t3 \' O( D- Q
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) ) V* p( O7 g3 l* J
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
: s0 h4 i' s$ W" C5 R7 M& MWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
, c; K+ b9 v2 Y* d3 TMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) 4 {$ ^( N+ G1 T! \
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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" ]) E2 v X$ @! r2 |总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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