《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。5 p4 E5 `8 w* t0 C6 ]
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' T% ]2 V6 _1 a! w影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。& t& V" r. q) j( A- I5 A
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）5 @8 F: ?$ z7 }0 h, V* r
Holmes: I just picked it up.+ l1 B# [  r7 B) {
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）; P4 F1 n" N* i- `& q! i4 a
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.! }2 q1 ~2 _( k+ @/ \3 `
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）% b: m+ d8 e- R
Holmes: You did.1 J- K0 K: k8 U  @0 e# G
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
$ V  V7 F9 l2 B7 [2 W, }Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.5 Y- C" a! o% O$ t  {1 |
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- M0 m6 U: s4 H$ w8 x' }宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
+ N# S' ?; X) t. ~3 G* jWatson: Permission to enter the armory.& m8 X6 \* e" |; M! G  m
Holmes: Granted.7 L0 ~: H  u( @  b7 n" F
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/ a* v/ H* Y8 z. v晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。6 \! `. ~- W$ ~' [% F- ^4 R4 A: D
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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; K5 I  y5 N0 z0 p4 L3 f+ s# wWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。# J  Z5 ~# V, W# _) P" j
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）/ R7 F% T0 `: ]; e4 Y
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。+ K% u3 H+ E  m. L! |+ y0 \, G
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。; K- c1 m/ l" _6 R. P5 P
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
" o) i$ `3 E7 e, X0 D; Y$ S6 Z) M, I* MIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?, M8 [" y0 _( T* X" P2 z
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
% y" n1 Y4 [; ~/ O9 m. B' MIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.0 N) [, E' ]# i* u& L7 b6 e
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。- \+ a$ M. z. v; V, B& |$ C
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
8 C5 }3 n4 ?8 S5 j0 Y6 O4 DWatson: Get that out of my face.  \% d0 t$ A( `- t4 y6 C
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand./ e. f  l, N& D' c- O0 z
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.+ a$ S0 W! N: C
路人警官Clarky上场。
: }0 n. F  K4 PClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once./ K; ]* G5 d- H3 K
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
* X* U0 l* h: ]! n' s得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
/ d0 X5 d" S9 k% RWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
6 M) _. |2 Z0 i- v5 r7 W* \7 E1 MHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.% A9 _* y% n; u* {2 q# k
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2 `- [$ m" ?0 S- m+ I! d9 v墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。  }) k2 P0 D+ D; O# B- |7 N
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
5 P/ M7 K9 D/ I1 ?, hHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.+ \) O1 I, A4 s' Z' d9 b* ^/ P
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）; Q: Z8 _6 K$ V
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1 }* s. O+ p  M. ^/ L" e河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。! Q: O) I( {' k1 v0 ?5 j! }4 n
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
! I3 \% ^; k: Z9 r5 e" s' O8 C9 [Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…# }1 \- f+ T1 `
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
3 Y6 A( w; Z6 {& H: H8 p死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。$ U; `7 [3 i. f, j; m
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
# U; D- A$ w& X- z7 b' r" f后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。7 _5 K  X3 g/ h/ j  T
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）! Z/ T9 ~. F( Z. X6 E" J" i
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
# E1 I* N, H7 T% \Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.3 g3 _8 q; X  w9 B
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2 `2 T  X3 b8 ]- r4 R9 c$ I" K接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
7 Z, i8 r3 w& X0 t9 o2 A话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
1 z) m/ Y: a. C5 i$ ]5 k- WHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）6 I9 o7 B8 \1 W0 _% y/ h
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）+ i% ?' H4 a  L9 a% K
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
; _' }% ~) i# R% @! lMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?8 z! ?: ?; S# U7 s& W; P
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
- P6 _; \  }* THolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）, u( z$ h3 U2 D2 y; k
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）- `- z$ m! X: u$ }! V
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
" k. K% N& k8 N. Y% ~1 m+ eWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）( u$ q6 c- z/ R1 L( V5 Y; k5 F
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
7 J( L2 \3 R8 e（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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0 R2 r" n! D" O" Q9 v  b2 H总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……