 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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( I; h! R/ L3 d3 G- X# f影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
9 ~# R; j% k- q3 f4 Y" yWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) , ?/ l* l2 D3 G- w' Y: q
Holmes: I just picked it up., r4 d0 h+ h" o2 U, R
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) $ |+ l1 p. Z' p8 q4 U/ Y
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
1 w! R( W2 e2 T/ t; |Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) ! q2 I9 v8 _0 I( L
Holmes: You did.$ M2 s7 \; z3 W) W6 i: B9 f+ W
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
: z T3 \6 t4 @: bHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.: k/ s7 f% W( t* M8 Q7 J( E
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, {# y4 F7 u7 _$ \/ e2 l8 Y; j宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 " N! {# ~5 t1 i& `4 N* h
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.* s2 s) `5 C$ d; D/ K
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 & H) u- ]2 n8 x
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) ! u6 p& S1 I& g7 j9 x
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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- N& I5 @9 O( N! h) `Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
" P9 b# U4 `8 `) C2 vWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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?* D1 N+ h, L, r9 yBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 7 D% `( [7 ?& U. M, i5 U) X8 J8 X
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% R9 k, {* f8 `0 f- PIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 1 a) {& w3 L: g- W8 e
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 0 |6 v6 b5 Y( t
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
: G! r% g5 }' A8 \/ f: t5 c+ bHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 8 y* }! D* B0 j: g" U
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.; F7 V3 r( W6 T0 ^ w& U
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( `$ \% r$ T& k, ~$ |Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
& P* s/ a( e1 B( Z [0 {. P3 y4 p2 V/ dHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) . Y! a# G0 l9 Y/ n" F
Watson: Get that out of my face.
( W# Z$ m7 ]& ^1 [/ v$ uHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.# L+ R1 B v; |0 l( j2 [* C2 e" e
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
' _ f6 O) {- b1 S路人警官 Clarky上场。 5 Z& O$ v b8 h
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.9 q# N8 c; y8 s6 w7 H" V1 k" `2 q
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) * P" w6 J% i& g% V! ]* [' T3 c
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 ! j n& z/ B: @, M7 D
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?9 h' E6 O* R9 f5 m0 H% l
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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* D# V- q2 T0 K$ G墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
0 g3 o" }1 ]* k1 ^! p( s4 _( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
! \4 ^# C5 T' m9 O i8 s1 WHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely." q4 j1 Y$ \. a% a* B) L' c
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 % W$ s. l5 \7 j5 x+ [# y( ?
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 9 Q9 y" C8 Y% x: G# ]! ^- u# ^
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…3 Y( b; O- D) S) h2 X
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) $ w7 t5 b3 r' R K; A* z
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 4 q* N; @) Y* o3 f% [
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) ' }5 i& t/ j' g8 N
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 ) O- ]! V+ x; j* Z
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
% n; o% u# C3 }5 R! f+ Q* ~1 l MLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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6 n/ ` M) f9 Z. F, ~接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
3 ~9 `3 N) o' l3 V& y话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 6 E5 H% d9 z# U7 q( W$ C- q/ h
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) " f* i4 s; C# w* s
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) ) W0 ^" R% Q) L0 X
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
) i! s, M- D9 y) X/ Y4 l$ NMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?0 s8 h7 l! ?1 Y6 [' p
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) + s o; Y2 z' e
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
9 n3 e3 `6 g: V$ q* ~. B, l9 aWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
/ p5 x8 G& t" ?5 z9 ]Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
( p8 t6 h0 \! Q/ ?5 hWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
$ i5 y- L, c A2 g) oMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) ; @) U7 U; \2 z
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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+ ^6 Y( L3 n% e4 a5 b' C总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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