《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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# U1 }6 _: W& i* U8 B4 L3 z影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。0 R6 H. P( L$ r" e: x0 a2 z+ E
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
0 K% h# D& L, o4 u7 THolmes: I just picked it up.
4 b+ y' }: ^$ ]Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
& t& @6 v6 @3 O" z, M4 {* w; n& t+ tHolmes: Knew I forgot something.9 k) X6 M8 @! w( W
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）4 k6 O$ L, L" B0 b1 s
Holmes: You did.+ \2 J- L4 y! s( ]
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
8 S+ r7 |% c, \4 ^Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.2 \; N: t; Y$ V3 U) X
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7 |2 `% ~$ z5 _8 F. }2 p1 l* n  w宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。4 {3 o  L/ L2 T  k7 s
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
% a, X5 T& @+ x4 z/ R6 k2 H( LHolmes: Granted.( c. f/ k! C/ C0 d% Z; }: y
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
% i% b* e" g+ m" j; P. IWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）( f6 Q/ c+ ?& T. Q  H2 n8 s
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) F5 a6 d  U$ q6 O0 S  b  p) v1 K% j拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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7 N, j6 @+ t. B% L% |Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。- t% G7 s9 w3 V
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）; N  P9 Y7 m& a: n. t1 f/ T. ]* j2 E, R
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) w$ ^/ B" g: C- Z6 X( uHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。7 g, E  A1 m# v5 O# h$ s# K( E$ c5 ^
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。6 l; [' t! R2 `9 W
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
# R6 T" y- x4 h6 B6 A; f3 d- z（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）+ j0 j2 q; s; C: X
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
, n& \( l" \& wHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
# Z( `4 T! O" g% H$ ^* t; H4 Y* lIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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, B5 U0 G- y; {8 u8 Q. vIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。! f; j% o/ v, }; c% V+ F
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）* Q( J" S, m8 ~5 N
Watson: Get that out of my face.
$ ]2 h# z* K5 {2 xHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.% @, Q) M7 v/ }/ i# L
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.6 m2 q8 w- t- `* m. F
路人警官Clarky上场。
/ N/ ?6 G: Z: X0 MClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
5 c9 q2 I: M- D# eHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）" d/ T) j# H+ u
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
7 a6 T- E: g6 w# m& E( jWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?0 q0 H3 Y% r4 j! h" {
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.8 N" {$ ~8 n, b% s9 I4 n
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。2 v+ b% V* W# [
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）, h; N: W! N7 H8 L3 B
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.6 u9 |! ~6 B, A: {  ^) o3 Z3 `
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）+ V, I' P3 }% N7 D  z" n
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
0 _( Z8 [/ i+ l7 s7 t) NHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）& W. Q5 V! N; ]2 M5 O+ J& q
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
$ a$ d6 ^$ R( _% `& \1 L0 v3 }Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）; H, L% J0 {% K( R' {# |
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。9 H7 G) [1 E  I# _7 g6 F
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
7 r% G$ P& z8 Q2 ]" Q9 j+ S后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
# O  J' I$ \0 C9 r9 G9 B) D0 RHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）5 y+ }  G5 \- S- F* P' `
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3 |$ A% o. [0 j警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。$ y& n6 y* \" y! q! R
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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  M: Z  c" i6 _接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。. T5 y8 i5 T2 ]' o2 Z' y3 k
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
( L3 n% P4 w! h0 I! FHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
5 ?2 ^$ S3 |: C) |( lWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
$ c. H9 D- L4 R1 i( i8 h- jHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
; Q9 n" B. O+ Q/ M) j' @. OMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?! p6 Y8 V, n4 j: }' _
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
+ W: i6 L5 D# ~# KHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）3 z& M" K* I! Q
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）$ j# ]3 v- v. o( S/ C7 E7 W
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）) G4 g2 q5 R& O+ r* b, E1 ]
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）- _2 l3 x; ?+ ~' J6 ~7 E; K! v1 S
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）) s5 @: I0 \* _# t, {
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）3 r5 y) y; Q& S: {
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' r* J& M) t( B7 _, d, A总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……