《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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) N/ r) R# B% K, b9 v0 M影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
" L0 ~6 h& j" v. a- e0 ^1 WWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）% \  _' \+ g1 \5 x
Holmes: I just picked it up.
: R: \; d% d/ ~0 `+ DWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）& M; |. M5 U" E5 t0 R) `0 z  A
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
' ~7 f# B: Q. J! s% w9 _0 Z' O0 VWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）( o! g6 t' L; q8 ]0 A/ n! C$ [1 @
Holmes: You did.
& g" Q' Z) U5 t' Y' z# b（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）) v* H' L  D0 W% L, c% Q
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
! h: Q$ O+ L9 N0 r9 _) OWatson: Permission to enter the armory.( e( G. M/ y$ J( p
Holmes: Granted.% a9 _- m4 X0 N
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6 a5 y- f4 ~" [- h; Z% Q晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
4 a2 y5 G; t0 |" }8 i& YWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）8 w! U5 F4 i; z. q8 D
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) {& g1 \) n, f! v- t7 U( r/ T拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
; ]/ E; h9 F2 h! r8 ~' R4 P5 PWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）" U/ p. W! B# ]( S
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. z, @* ~, T0 z- b- n% NHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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- j; y6 Q/ v7 M7 C) }+ ^' b# U  qBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。4 Y2 @* Y) E" ^& x
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" J% y( F8 C/ u3 pIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。/ m" _( s* V# H3 v. Z- d
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）/ o& f; J! z4 ^+ s
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?1 Z3 U1 F7 d( P) I" V" I
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）6 d$ k5 V# w+ I3 W% z2 r
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.  H" t$ I7 a6 Z% {* `
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) f; W: _4 h& w* w) v2 H/ JIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
! V0 u8 p  D9 y% H0 jHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）5 l" |  f/ S; g$ O0 K7 j
Watson: Get that out of my face.0 T9 l7 X) v( y! M4 M1 D
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
" j* n3 i) ^* B  y/ Z% ]% HWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
' r& [% a3 O1 c6 O9 ^: t. s1 ]路人警官Clarky上场。
! c& C$ d! u* e: ^. `Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
8 b5 i$ r$ l2 e9 Y0 D( qHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）, |5 B! l, U; U: H
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。. V3 _1 A( ?0 [; z
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?2 Z( U$ c9 O7 `  \5 W
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.: D! B. x4 i, G9 l! q& q4 {- R
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' q1 W1 K2 d% r  U3 e( L墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
. O/ a7 o$ N+ }) n4 L" j' x8 M（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
% {; r( d' n' W: `+ @! [3 R; C) fHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.6 v5 Z. p- w- E* N" U* U4 r3 H
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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. k0 ^* Q$ z; l3 d) m河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
2 h! m5 {4 M% u9 c5 ?" u6 K8 j' I( qHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
; W8 g3 c+ U9 T' G3 g0 T: Z0 ?5 LBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
* v& e' T! E- D; e- FWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）4 E) g, i' {  y
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。% g1 B# g/ d1 d3 d- m* ?9 E8 Q
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）1 [; i) [! [0 G. n1 l8 Q
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。1 R8 L" d( }/ O5 {0 ?& z
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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- R# T) f3 V/ @# O* o2 L, J警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。- f4 Q+ k8 m) _: U) I+ C  S
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.& g) y6 B' D$ [) o$ J  \' l
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
( l: w# e2 i( x/ O; s5 U. R+ z. o) G& ^* Z话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
) E/ I$ F5 D( S+ MHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）/ c0 L1 D0 Y7 f! \% ^5 \
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）$ X& j  c% A6 M% w. I/ T0 J
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）+ i& m! k3 V4 a
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?1 q7 ~" q: ^+ G
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）# H- q, V4 M7 b& X
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）6 |0 i( I  g, ], d' X- S- L
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）. p. R! l/ o. S3 [, V, o5 X
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）, ^2 j  z/ g) s' J4 X
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）4 H/ z7 y3 d9 t
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）; c7 m0 N, T1 m( n$ A- {+ f8 ~9 `
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）. \1 }- I6 k! Q/ t9 e$ _
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: D. o" a! b  Z$ A0 a总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……