《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。& n4 g& m8 n0 `& Z3 @" C2 Y
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
2 X2 `, e6 A2 uWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）# B$ n  z# |* z; M; M: d
Holmes: I just picked it up.
9 ^% e. B- H" X, {) E" L2 W8 sWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）/ E0 ]3 c; G. ^6 f9 E* G
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
# Q) I4 L2 I$ G& P; ~. MWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
! B4 a9 |  P% t, DHolmes: You did./ u) I2 o$ }) b& D: R
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）& x7 o. d& ~% x4 I
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.$ }4 S# x  I" V6 @- t
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
( K6 i3 T1 \% t) J; h" g/ M* q' DWatson: Permission to enter the armory.# p8 d+ q& q: b3 G" n% e( }
Holmes: Granted.$ }& M: |- s5 e! J, g7 k
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。/ S9 h' _, n# C, Q0 f+ y4 a
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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' P- c4 N1 A. a9 E/ a拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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! S% t# S( C; k3 X! _Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。8 i; I8 y$ ^1 b
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）" K6 |, q3 {8 d9 D$ p: W
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。0 f5 L; S; b) q" Z: b
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2 L% n5 J& _1 B7 pBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。8 B% d, |8 Q2 a5 p
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/ n8 I$ A. S& R/ U7 j2 OIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。8 C" g1 ?; }) ~
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）+ b* C& B% b. O  L" X4 Z
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
- ]4 b# `. o2 s* W; ?* |6 A2 yHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
7 N- d% h" k1 }" Z5 N7 }2 jIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.: M. k, {) k  {
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$ p, \, n0 Q9 O1 FIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
: k- O1 s1 h! j) BHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）+ r0 B+ N% D' ~. W8 X7 g; ~& v6 b
Watson: Get that out of my face.1 H; X. i3 J# v# f7 n# C: b) G
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
/ L- [3 y4 E$ w' w* k6 {7 BWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
3 [5 W1 f- q% x7 h* j. ^路人警官Clarky上场。
6 H$ i& |) J/ ~3 Z) J  m! }Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.( z( W7 p; d" ~
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
. S) T0 m, P0 x: d4 g得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
9 _: D$ |. Y1 {& b2 o$ g0 VWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
% ?: j" R2 Y! M: @" v4 ?7 tHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
% ^2 X  v9 _. U9 o2 [$ e（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）* Q" I- d# a, K" [
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.! w- u, ]0 W$ w" Q" ?' `
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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, B/ j$ ]: y3 l4 S% o河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。8 u; h$ k/ c$ t/ x( ^5 y) M4 [/ A
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
- l! y! ^: s4 ~+ e% GBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…4 Q0 x8 X! _/ Q7 N
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）& Z5 u- b/ H! d, \: q/ l" `& f
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。  L( T) R7 ~" `$ G, |$ I
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）! d+ I( q4 Z/ L% y& N
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。7 u1 q( [. n6 d# x
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）& G2 R- z* E* E& M1 T+ ]
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2 e0 F3 J8 ^% Z8 s" n警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
/ }- U% K1 a- q& F5 n* ~6 BLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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# Z9 {$ Z3 s" ~! j接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
$ z7 ~3 s: n  }# o& b话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。* e9 h* ?- g0 o3 k: }
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）" G9 B# |. n# E, A3 e
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
' W. p3 i0 a, c0 R; I/ }: U% s9 s& t6 WHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
4 q" r* ^8 G, N+ ~  `8 oMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?# M5 Y. F6 C( l( ~# n9 H/ n9 a
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
. Q4 V7 Z+ T2 T% f' g7 OHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
& H# H  C+ u! i" k. r- l, w1 XWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
# U2 `- G# K3 y1 Y0 i. gHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
( @6 B2 a3 A' X8 x3 }2 ~  X* [, BWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）9 W, j1 e0 X- d4 c' p8 Z
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
( j* }5 y! W5 Y. }（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……