 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 # J5 u+ B# [( ?- M
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
2 R1 O) \% [; fWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) 6 k* ?) d& c- B$ O5 W* ^
Holmes: I just picked it up.! u3 B+ P7 ]- J
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) ) h# X( n+ M- e. X6 p9 k
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.3 g6 p8 ~+ D: U m1 @
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) 2 t8 N1 \. f& v; v3 q
Holmes: You did.( w5 M+ e% V+ a3 B+ {
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) 4 x6 u! w$ `* e1 S" P" O
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 ; K. \3 [1 Y2 J7 J
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
a# t2 {$ ]9 v) u4 t& f3 \Holmes: Granted.8 j% Z$ g5 C8 Q
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 * m& q) |3 O& y+ A( t
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) + K/ n9 {. X# a% q' N
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 ) r% N) \$ ~0 a% b/ ?
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" Q5 j$ B5 m4 _" v# I$ BWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
) j" ^+ b5 u% F) cWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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9 @/ e% ]3 ^0 {& MHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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4 Y& i8 o, Z, W6 ~* _Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 - R* X: R/ a: g, i4 r
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. }' E0 e/ Z, M, L. C" f0 i6 tIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
+ I# [$ x. p% }0 B: h k( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
@6 P2 d" g& F1 v' N G R) JIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
- V1 F, S' ?5 r2 Z( z1 hHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
* ]: v. n7 t3 L1 C+ o* ~+ }Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.4 I: ^! H9 s3 z1 k+ E
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: T' ^+ @ f+ \+ |Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
+ u" R6 k: \* vHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 8 y- j- [ M4 }0 c* {3 [5 s9 |! P
Watson: Get that out of my face.+ x, [# ~: Z: f, i- a
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
! M- n' ?, X2 `+ K4 c9 XWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
9 r# S% ~" s# s& l6 o6 F5 J3 @" j路人警官 Clarky上场。 % Q7 d/ \2 V" f/ E
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
k& o. N- m% Q8 @+ \% d" |Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) 6 r" R, H7 l9 a2 l7 A+ o
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
+ Q/ f# o$ t5 e+ _1 FWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
1 o ^3 I2 A+ n; [Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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- E0 j9 M# q4 G2 O墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
4 a+ u+ |% j5 o. a. |2 n( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) & o, z' \. W. W6 @
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.* a6 _. b5 H+ m
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) ! o$ E- `$ {4 Z
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
0 ]1 H* W9 p6 p8 y: j# w5 @, {( ~Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 1 B, p" B' z6 ]! i1 S' b
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…3 n) }( v0 i, T3 {0 S
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 6 w0 A9 ?1 [* X% m4 m( @
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
* ?, K, c& D8 F+ x$ vHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
. ~$ s) R/ Q+ w. ~( K后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
9 k, X1 x* f; W% d3 ?( @ p3 THolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
$ G2 Z5 A, R$ I. K, S2 T d2 `3 vLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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Q0 x6 n9 N" `* v+ P接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 5 q6 e: X3 U8 x2 u9 h4 H7 n
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 , q; P# S; a7 _7 r% n/ D4 P) F! E6 b
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
) Q) H( Q3 \7 T0 f$ q: p# b& mWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
) v9 c5 |9 m- Y' e. XHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) . g* z$ g& S/ J1 j6 M5 K
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
! p1 C& L$ h5 J# I% [) `Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
# o' n, u" Q* ~1 ^ eHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
$ S5 h/ o9 p0 |* e' o& r* E, JWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
" a. j* b3 ]8 y7 uHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) ! ~ b6 p* g/ r
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) 7 R6 C' u- i% s: k* z# w
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
1 h$ |# h* H+ y+ @/ @( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) 2 i, K$ }/ _0 D0 v5 B7 r& `- v
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. Q2 j, g! _# h总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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