《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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; s5 v5 ^' H# X# U$ c+ z影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
  @# D+ k3 K0 ]Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）4 J9 W0 P' P: E4 G' |) n( X
Holmes: I just picked it up.
0 {0 s9 r3 q: K" ~* H+ `Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）3 h, r' U% k, `6 ]$ e
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
. e* u6 f1 e9 q  OWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
  O& Q5 u4 _% }& dHolmes: You did.% h, a% `+ `0 ~' a  O, H
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）* M5 `" E$ r( M2 s' S3 O
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.% |) A' g2 @* X$ w# p& P2 G$ y1 k
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. ?' \- Q3 D. K宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
8 J9 A/ J( E5 A  \  o" A* V# ~Watson: Permission to enter the armory.$ J" V; o8 l( K
Holmes: Granted.8 \! ~& w! E3 y9 f
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。: b7 I& ~5 X7 H2 ?; D
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）, U4 d/ W& w/ |+ ^3 @
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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7 ~2 Y, j) d) E; K5 [& NWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
" g- C. D* G; K3 c# J0 ^* ?& e0 |) Q8 {Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。4 O% J# Z0 n& ]! A7 n
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。$ W1 U& {( X# W1 L6 x+ @
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。/ R# I1 }$ O' J+ j! B
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）- e' ]  X. ~; p: y7 W
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
- w# k4 H, B7 q0 U$ p$ c* ZHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）" ]" F# H+ s# r6 K' r
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。% c! l2 |( P& j. y5 f+ f, R5 E
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）; G6 k& W. y/ y+ S
Watson: Get that out of my face.4 ~. b! z# m) {
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
6 _; t3 U5 d+ p9 W1 i# c, MWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.8 F$ H% a+ _- g2 r6 C  s2 ]; u
路人警官Clarky上场。) F" n% p0 w. ~6 l
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
  H, U) G) ~2 k" L7 @+ dHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）9 E' ]5 R5 ~! `, ?- U- b
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
7 z: D8 H( q/ u; ?4 IWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
$ n- k: b2 R+ o5 CHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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6 Z& a. A1 I: u1 }墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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0 M3 h0 S* H8 A' }, _/ }7 iHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely., e# G, C- d% I
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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' D- |# O% q. X# A1 U; S; |1 ^' e河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
0 f4 Z' k1 [" _Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）" T0 ~, D- e6 i, e
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
0 A" B. M' T/ T3 E6 PWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
0 B9 Q" ^+ ?- ~- P& Z死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。, k. S: Q' B7 c) w" E
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
, v6 O5 `; q% R, T: U2 j后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。) @2 n( q* W' q8 I. n
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）1 C# a5 h5 O& c9 g( i- ?
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。6 C. A& P& S8 F* e
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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+ ]4 p* ~/ s4 m; u8 S) F- h接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
6 D0 I1 [4 f& Z0 N4 U话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
# Q  H% U0 g/ S4 z8 u( P. gHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）) E& ^% z) h% i5 Q7 L( S
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
8 V: j/ P9 m+ w/ j% @Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）  T  b/ i& r1 `8 X$ e, s0 q% c: K
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
% D1 H7 ^& C' X" f* r2 }! d6 PWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）: f5 f  J4 J8 E6 u' H* j" b
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
- d* ]4 ^, R! l2 U, x& v% [' u" P: A% tWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
! r7 K( J" w# R; Z4 _) B6 DHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
9 m! Q" J' ]5 @8 \Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）- t$ h* ]5 G6 n# L5 x& q/ x+ z1 E- E
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）2 b. [2 {3 F2 n/ [, o+ E; R
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）9 n  v0 c( K5 Z: `7 E2 v9 i) ~. D
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……