《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。. N- ^* P% z# _) O3 w$ b* i/ \
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
8 n/ w: C. Z' E" m% ^( xHolmes: I just picked it up.3 r/ O$ G. O! e' x4 J
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
- Q) Z* n1 u4 _; B, @% t& i7 G. H; WHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
+ A1 e( f1 M- s3 uWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
% E- @8 C# t; w% w  \7 f0 zHolmes: You did.6 k3 \: w1 x* x# M6 b
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）9 b; D% A* s1 _
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。: F" c5 [. w. T% E0 E+ {. Z0 }
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
. y' F9 I. ]( i9 E/ Q: y* D6 x9 hHolmes: Granted.: ~) X  a7 i! Z3 m7 a, P
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5 Z. Z" Q) t& H! ~7 w晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
( ~: G! \6 x5 S# UWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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. Y: G5 O2 u1 v$ J' H拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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3 C% }9 |2 ^  z6 r7 A4 QWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
! C2 Z0 i% J  _) y* T$ c. V, BWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。" p, x1 _* i( k8 ?, L
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。* o) }7 U" }. s$ F! T
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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; \$ ]1 K( v) p7 B, Y+ p8 `Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
: Z$ i3 f9 R; lHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
. h8 H$ P2 S) A' D. j! H  PIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.6 s& W/ }& a* q2 C$ E
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。5 y! d$ m5 R* I9 Y
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
7 _- A7 L& t( vWatson: Get that out of my face.
2 O: w% v# I4 o: yHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.  l# d7 O9 v  f1 \
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
4 F# d6 L( H. \, F  _路人警官Clarky上场。, S& R: c3 U0 ]3 n) j" s0 L
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.$ @7 Q% o6 \# G) Q& l- h' q) L3 b
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）1 @$ z! V# |% @  r4 }4 w& c
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。/ Y" ^9 z0 b" i' a7 s1 t; L
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?- l0 `0 V% z3 }0 }: [5 U; W4 r* X
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
, P3 i* W7 t& ?$ k（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）4 W: ^( M! L  n. J. j  K  Z
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.8 T* C9 f1 |. i4 j+ q
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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  x1 ?( I, K- A9 m* p' _( u河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。  P* ?& Y' U: |: u9 P7 B1 }
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
4 k7 O; K  q2 [8 O& {Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…$ ]* f6 m& u' |" o4 O! h4 j1 Z# b1 \
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
: W2 a( x0 X( G3 h5 x9 P死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。2 Z0 b6 ~8 m- \# f  k5 C; O
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）! L9 \& W7 n5 c* L2 h
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。- B8 K$ I; m2 R- i
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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' e: r+ b$ E6 C; W  t* z  g警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
& v! v/ U  H+ ?0 p- M  PLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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+ h$ |6 b. ~, J! c# W* o- G& I接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。& n* r9 q; m* S+ ]" ~; E
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
7 b& k. x( N( ?: ~' C* t3 SHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
" x2 r" ^9 i* I2 j  K5 @Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）0 [2 X8 ^! n+ h8 ^" \
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）& X0 N2 H. n2 @0 c1 \
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?; w; u8 G' h- t5 I% T, o
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
8 U9 |2 p6 a3 Y$ I- G9 HHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）& h/ Y- d4 W+ a# o9 G& y: ^4 p
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）" I5 a" a) T( x
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）5 z* Y2 u% L9 c8 f$ c% t+ H
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
& @# w6 O# N' {8 e  u- {Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
$ a$ _& I& ?  n; T7 g（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）  b4 \# G: A9 g" ~0 E
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' z/ z" k3 r+ P5 s/ B/ ^总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……