《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。: u) `* _4 `5 _5 j- a
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
8 |# e, f1 H: h7 k# y( x5 u  B8 ]Holmes: I just picked it up.
% _8 j+ y4 ^1 y1 }, Y8 t* XWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）2 x: i0 m* t) @. \
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
6 G) _3 R  t0 [+ x& c5 _+ RWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
! M1 I: {) {9 J6 r. fHolmes: You did.* h) @* u% ]" [; \+ D+ t: Z8 i7 S+ t7 v
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
* g& v( k! d* s4 U: P/ @6 pHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.9 L, a& g8 K5 p
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# f/ Y, n, Y/ b- e5 m宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。+ U. r9 Q# d1 |4 E* v) X
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.3 K' T* ]& F% h3 C
Holmes: Granted.2 E/ e/ M) F) x" r
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+ [. S+ C# s3 F2 I: I晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。5 J9 T5 O* D* w9 W
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）  c7 `  J% S  B( P( I& K+ i' h
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' i9 i6 N& x1 \" f& e" X拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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! S1 A  v. s9 mWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。# Z/ a5 U8 O$ `. C5 G" r9 q
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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5 h, @5 c0 }- g+ B' H2 IHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。4 v0 `  f4 s; s3 E* b+ A( }
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
  J5 v5 E0 }' u! c7 p2 ?Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）0 O* O$ I! x/ g+ g- q2 c% x( W
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。9 N, Z' ~( c5 m6 D6 e
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
% Q# u! y% I: WWatson: Get that out of my face.
9 M) s; o# l! z; d# a" R. ~( S  B8 M, K/ MHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.2 Y* I  ?& {; s  h# ~! L0 B: r
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
8 F8 J. D$ W: P5 |1 O路人警官Clarky上场。
4 e4 o) Z" w  @3 D  }Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
6 z. g& a: s' B" p. D1 w* @' k  HHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）" \. x4 Y; ~# ?+ K1 L6 U8 t3 c. M
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
& \# |3 x- ^+ j% s$ ?  `+ AWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
" u: c" ]3 m* L" yHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not., x/ c8 f6 ?9 b  k9 F7 i: e
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。# L& A9 O7 J6 G3 _+ @  d8 f) Z+ C' a
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
! w2 W) Y9 V( R, jHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
5 Q+ B0 c  U; {9 \' F2 u$ ^( aWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）4 J3 k0 F- c; e& i, Q+ i2 U5 V
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
7 R; f1 b+ d" O' {5 [Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
, g% `, h$ ]8 y6 J' V# e8 V0 `Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
  r0 r, P! ~8 ^3 M7 vWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）4 f+ ~, D. ]$ i. w" D- o8 ~) n
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。  a$ Q) @" Z3 T# @5 @/ l8 y5 E
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）1 o$ u6 Q1 V, n. w$ R$ p1 Z
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。' Y2 n8 X% x- X" N- L
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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/ M7 ?) L6 R8 E- U警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
" J7 W& X1 e: Z  U5 [Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.% G4 V( ~1 ?. M; C9 L/ c6 d- |
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9 |8 P$ x; @" h, y; f* c- `/ O接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。, U3 ^  s8 q( X6 ~: V* R
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
- r$ o# h. p3 e, P& f# `$ eHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
' f- f5 d+ O! |5 U: hWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
9 y! D: @* ?9 Z5 fHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）+ }" ], G6 m/ v, a" C$ \
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
4 [  Z" Z* T! x+ q' xWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）0 C& r6 X  R& F0 l" o
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）7 Z. W& w6 p3 s5 I2 k
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
$ R; |, u8 {- I- ~6 JHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）5 c4 O. y7 p* _. t
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
7 |& N* [3 l; J$ u# iMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）/ U5 B8 c# k9 ?* ]+ X0 g8 v
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……