《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
( i' b& d- @$ u/ ~( ]; p, AWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
! i$ D8 H  `" UHolmes: I just picked it up.* a1 h" X4 q2 `( i9 `
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）9 Y( h/ `( {/ o2 I7 h
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.% G' U, e9 `. I1 c! S; M
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
) f+ ^0 G. O4 P6 [9 x* KHolmes: You did.! L- x- e! }5 ]3 w$ S4 C# I
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
$ D- m7 o9 |5 RHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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. n& i2 `5 M. M& l3 S2 v宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。+ P' R* z9 o$ c* l/ |3 _* s: z
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
( ?* C1 t; z9 K+ hHolmes: Granted.
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: O, D- \2 k, l5 X7 j! ?. G4 }- l/ |晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
3 A) o, O! F% z' I0 VWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）1 o7 l1 s$ s5 A3 ]3 y3 ]
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3 V- n! U6 r# M5 n* A拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。# y' ^, w) i+ A2 z* \
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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+ J; O9 P' v* s* ^3 @4 U* J) Y- qHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。* G. p* w( t8 D8 {6 O! V5 \" R
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
' }; A1 ?. l8 p: aIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?- S5 Z- B4 B* x* w3 Q$ n# x
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）. ~* c$ `# Q& I$ T; m+ Y- U
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
$ A5 l" Z' _8 cHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
3 y4 q+ U4 X; A6 w/ h6 ^7 C" ^; H/ AWatson: Get that out of my face.8 T/ n+ \' a8 v: f: s8 U. Q( m
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.3 m. N$ b) y: c; W8 [, b% {5 s* |
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
+ U( l# M! f  w" }! c5 T" u路人警官Clarky上场。
7 I( _% d8 z( V$ h8 y: x4 dClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
9 j3 P( {" S  [9 v& y7 s, n8 pHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
, t! d1 r$ w- c0 g. E4 ^4 v$ z- `得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。! _* _# v8 p5 x( B9 `/ A
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
3 n. i$ w* h! K+ `. H8 ?Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.6 j! |! {" C. m1 N0 q9 T) J( q% E
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9 y: n( `% u) L9 i墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。& p. d, g2 Q; `+ \
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
* w3 I1 G5 K* n  \2 f+ SHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
( p" i3 u7 H2 }- F9 F4 ^, ?Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）# L1 g$ |7 S0 a* k6 F0 c8 L, C
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5 S* \2 v6 h6 M4 N河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
# h! d/ O& Y8 s( [8 m  HHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）2 t: D# N3 z. g  P- F) d3 E* C% [
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
7 N% n) m3 r3 CWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）" J" U* }) X; ~2 Y( ~) X; q
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
" F# {8 X3 J6 }/ {Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
0 P" O! q! f+ D6 F# S* G- }- ?$ x1 I后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。9 f' d  r/ ^; C! U; d3 I! P  x
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
% l0 Z2 a5 C0 e* a9 X2 gLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.$ j5 ~! p6 G6 Y- ~+ W% P+ s
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. N: ^4 W+ P( N, ?7 q接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
9 q; A. m+ Q5 P8 v& p* U话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。0 a; t% E1 g7 O' @+ `
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）( V0 ~& }* z7 D0 \# |
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）6 c; M) P. w- R" h
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）' o8 W  I- d& e9 f1 x
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
. c2 x: ~0 {5 u6 RWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
& m5 x/ {9 N/ ]" w$ Q8 }Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）4 W9 \$ @0 c6 C* S
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）' {7 h" T, J! d/ F% h
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）+ w+ A4 d- [/ _
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
& f( B% i- l1 T8 eMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）; I% z! t5 s0 W% i, j
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）/ X1 Y* R$ _& ]" d8 T4 m
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……