《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。" ~, e' k: q9 Z% F, N( Y; C
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1 E3 p0 m! }) P& K影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
: N" y2 c+ Q! Y; S! CWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
! V" `% N: g# gHolmes: I just picked it up.. Z9 j; x! [6 c0 G9 p
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
: a6 V3 ~3 B7 ]2 Y0 rHolmes: Knew I forgot something.9 c4 D0 W0 X5 l5 P. T' |* C8 W, u9 |
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
% m; S- e$ M* p. d  kHolmes: You did.
. [9 g2 Z3 Y; w# ]: }（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
- u. V# x9 e& m: ]' y) yHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.! j, _4 c! V/ c- u$ K
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& U0 D% ~! d+ z( \* \宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
4 H, X7 k9 h8 W, g( D# [Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
( a4 H7 k9 e9 e6 ~Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。' B6 ~8 P; v3 c* _
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）8 |: M- w1 _: z9 y
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3 Y( w$ U1 I' D+ t2 `拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
5 b, G# j5 i, a. q; O$ ?Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）1 R( x. }1 ]* L7 J3 E
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。4 k2 j% j0 H) t
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( d. Z9 Z# Y- w9 d! \+ N& SBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。; S/ [' E4 J9 w
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( A+ x6 \' F# L6 g9 l1 rIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。) U4 d7 d& A8 U, C$ c
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
. V6 C) V/ U1 w% w% i; IIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?6 H* E# z8 R; z! ^5 x; S
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）: t% }( k/ _% j5 I  C
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope./ P. C; ~4 a: m8 O) \  r1 I/ E; N
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+ t% E% Q6 z1 o/ S( f5 I3 PIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
' r9 [( B) v- qHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）4 _; _5 o, T4 E8 x, E
Watson: Get that out of my face.
+ k: v- ~& R% }" E9 i5 FHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
* o$ n) r9 A$ o; g, gWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.+ i+ ~7 q! J) A" ^. e( F0 C
路人警官Clarky上场。, V7 U4 F! h, l! ~8 t
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.6 f% E! f' X) v7 o
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）4 n. X( [  w: f# H& \! \* k
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
: M# ]7 W, `* y# j; U2 U( qWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?3 I; ]) ~6 I  x) D  q7 Q! ~
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.7 \, E1 I, |3 D/ r' R
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。, m3 U: F. l( s' Y% C4 J: G
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）+ z; I4 I! u  K* P
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.! s! R# E; k* W* `
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）7 W$ ~1 ?; _# I
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$ O1 t6 f1 V! C' C2 y, Q# b/ L. t6 K2 J河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
' S: R0 ^! C3 @3 h# G- YHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）- q* F; q" S( W; z0 x! r. k* S
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…$ p+ M; }8 R$ U& b  K4 q! y$ F
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）% b0 }5 H& c! V3 Z$ r- y
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。2 B; J8 c4 t  S8 ^. D+ J2 x
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
. |' W1 K8 B+ e4 h5 S% J后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
$ B! c) s; m- _1 r" G; e. N' LHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）5 _* O2 _; H5 V" n  ~
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。8 O$ m3 g/ @. A9 O" j
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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- q3 S5 e/ M1 A! {; i0 Q5 x% {接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。( L1 f  A! J1 m; Q: W# F
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。4 |/ H7 d$ N+ _2 ]
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）; x7 B/ h4 I. N( u
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
' j5 i/ N, O" MHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
5 n- v+ }& r5 m8 z) zMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
: _" J7 B1 q+ R. P- i7 d" `+ X- N" F: dWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）- l% l, y! R. f5 e1 ?
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）, U& O, \4 z' n, \
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）/ Q( L$ M. \7 L8 W
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）; n- m$ n, ~: r" ~1 z# i/ e" q3 v
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）* S  [# A0 f0 x$ G& j/ m. b% Y) m
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
6 L9 _' |- b+ {5 Q7 J（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……