《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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% A  |3 i3 i# u$ A5 S1 R) @" [; N影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。! h; l0 s- @9 e# E! U1 s, g
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
- _  h; F$ E& J) z7 {Holmes: I just picked it up.
* D1 s) ]/ g. n" [$ N* HWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
( a4 C$ Y1 f$ f  nHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
. _' i, Z1 E: K  ?9 {) L$ aWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）! V) x" M; `2 x; F5 E" ^
Holmes: You did.
% M7 f; j: K/ Y# c9 h/ Y' i" A5 z（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
& Q2 r: R! i$ o5 Y/ ^! eHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.) o  e9 V7 c9 ~8 P. U4 Z
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7 ?1 t, _4 u7 J2 h宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
; C5 }0 A, Z) z: s% ?0 [4 C/ kWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
- w* _5 d) O  FHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。( [3 K! J$ k$ F1 E
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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6 k2 r. u  j1 Q4 C拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
  z6 q' l( R6 v  TWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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/ ?& N0 C) M5 ~! [Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。0 _! s% h/ f+ B5 g( i
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, `* T! e3 ^  yBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
( i1 v1 ^/ O2 ~" }9 i+ u（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
4 j* _6 J/ U$ Y4 [/ i/ |7 `4 @2 y- LIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
  q! G& {' w& |5 Z: c, @Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
( C% h' @. P, W: u8 z, x6 kIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.' N  J0 f% s0 k3 }' R$ q" f* ^# {
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4 F% o2 w6 e6 b2 N9 jIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
  {# W0 ?! l, u" LHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）+ R5 k" d& E# ~  v4 g  n+ a; n
Watson: Get that out of my face.: R* T. ^  Z# k. {
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.1 G7 N7 f; ^( P& n
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
, c# T9 [2 c, x4 N; V$ z; E路人警官Clarky上场。  {: \7 ~( d/ x( I1 O3 Y4 g4 T( J
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
- e* m  u$ f5 A1 LHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）( T5 u% e; o3 P& r$ v
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
" r7 p2 F4 N) i# p/ JWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?6 f1 g$ O, F' h) f
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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8 |1 H; ~- V, H$ w墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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, F) h! a9 g1 X; r" @' SHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely." d3 c5 h& p& }. m. H) I
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。: ]& ]! X0 }) h! I
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
+ I3 n$ x% R1 C8 j2 GBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…# A1 d9 e4 B. L  x5 o
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
0 d5 h( G3 k8 ?! b" J% e8 ]死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。. A5 M2 ^+ x/ d, R7 C4 j9 e4 r; m
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）* \: w. S9 O/ b; b+ H
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
, i- _" I  _* D& u  N/ w0 K5 bHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）0 U: u& g: G8 p$ k2 h; E; E2 O7 P( r
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8 _: R9 _5 Z$ \/ [8 j& `( s. }警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
' }% r- J: M7 f) bLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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. \3 N/ \# h! i0 ^接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。: f; ^+ p8 I1 g3 H: |: s" \
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
0 O, a7 ]4 [7 XHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
& w! e. A, q* M6 T3 C& u# KWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）7 c& m7 h1 K! y# Y! X# K
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）4 Q, [9 r- O' H: @& |& Z- i
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
) l$ M! a1 M/ ZWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
- j& Q5 X2 o! b- N8 [- QHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
" O0 ?) Y( K# {2 JWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）0 n5 F) d1 U& m7 e
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
  D: T3 u2 M$ _) P- f2 {2 l: pWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）- ?; x# _5 `' ~! A+ }8 }
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
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, u7 t/ M2 W/ b* g. a总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……