《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
9 W. J; k7 ^: y6 M- B( u. PWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）" G3 Q$ [% b9 ?0 u
Holmes: I just picked it up." P8 r7 w8 ^- J- Y2 }: i8 O9 l
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）8 i0 A( }  ?' k; _! |. ~
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
* ~* |; e+ r+ Q' e# Z8 IWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
) Y# A- I+ ?$ o# ~$ BHolmes: You did.
; g+ h" b/ A7 Y3 E# j8 }9 \（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）7 s9 A, ?9 i0 I/ f+ G* |% X# R
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。4 P: d. T# ?* D$ j1 J
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
+ v' ]7 g: h1 i! p2 `1 J. k$ MHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
3 n4 O6 n/ B2 _2 ^. U" p' QWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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( F+ q6 B* V# J- G5 J$ Z拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。9 V0 V% v  K" U# t
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( ^$ q5 m7 |) A# K: mWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。. t2 y5 n: h; K7 A$ i5 C9 K
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）6 k, U* ^; I3 Q
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+ @( k" B: P' j! J( @$ uHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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' ~4 |  ^7 D2 g2 b$ g- q  g2 e* ~Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。5 x% T$ o2 X. l! l; M  b8 f
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0 F3 N- B4 {" I: u+ q# EIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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! J: h8 b: I3 q& O) G% b5 iIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?$ I: l$ R# t- m  V8 D. b( z# E) f& T
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）: |3 z% E7 d" T/ d1 V9 ?
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope." R4 S6 d: J9 y" W
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; m1 n3 f3 _5 h, IIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
; b* R' t  ?1 T$ [9 a6 WHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）3 s# N. D) g; N! N9 \. @
Watson: Get that out of my face.
* x3 [- C2 _/ o5 `/ U# @. RHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.$ E/ I$ J$ N2 t* g- X) @
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
' J& Y' w$ Z- c- q" X路人警官Clarky上场。! a% d4 o% G# T- {) T* y7 W% S& I
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once./ a) O/ s8 P3 W" \5 n
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
, k! P/ c0 a$ ?& Z3 @# P得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
+ }' C! a) x3 V, G3 j5 H7 jWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
" c' b, H% D, \. ]% O. FHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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! O) l4 K7 n  O( E8 F+ Y/ |, b) Z墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。5 A1 b1 r; K* ~1 f& o' }, ^  R
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
1 E3 \0 v. y2 p# c7 a# i( |6 [6 bHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.7 D+ C: D; r8 W- V$ S
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）3 G& ]+ s/ D  `9 M/ v4 z
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
0 {$ a4 M- _$ k# SHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）$ [, K2 ~5 X' _1 b% x8 e' L
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…. m; C1 v( v5 n" Y, q
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
. ?. V1 @+ X% ]. x3 X! {, a死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。3 h9 C# o0 `* G' r' W' p! ^* U
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）+ ~& E0 Q' g! w2 a
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
& C# D$ i6 y9 ?  rHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）1 t- r6 C9 S2 y% M" c
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+ i. \) O0 [0 W: }" d6 J. f8 ~警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。- x/ p; e$ }6 K9 _' w8 J
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。, a) B7 i/ ?) {5 U
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。) M' i5 I# I  b
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
2 [/ ^( r! r8 M) y+ Z( y' G# ?) v$ hWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）3 e/ n" x; G( c' I, p, a( O* @2 _
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
3 j. F4 C6 i& \# zMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
4 D; d3 H' R. z  rWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）8 N+ Y& [. E. L
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
% M3 P1 p/ [3 B- @6 h9 O. FWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
* R  e7 j+ ~6 g4 ]% sHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）5 h/ D! i7 k1 r) E! d
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）  \9 O; y. w1 F# Q4 ?
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
& F+ E% U& j& E（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）. h- T) b% b" ~8 W9 s
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……