《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。+ v) R# ^4 Q; z) r0 [* G3 q
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
' E; E4 B! Q5 i8 F8 a1 H" hWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）' G/ c9 Q$ a) _  ~& `/ {& y% O9 S/ D/ e
Holmes: I just picked it up.4 B! K3 Y1 K/ J2 W# m3 H
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）. }$ Z* G/ G! G4 {6 B7 }- r
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
/ S, @' J8 k4 A; o, x" v5 QWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）' }! ?9 P+ V; ~
Holmes: You did.) p+ S( J* g3 M* T' P8 B0 a
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
4 o) ~" N% [* P! a; D9 JHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
3 b& T  U+ K' ?- R3 yWatson: Permission to enter the armory.# K  ~! c6 O, W* @# r% U
Holmes: Granted.2 {6 {) c6 T0 n, S" T, k' `  N+ N
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. {& I' P' ]' [/ @/ a5 T晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。' n) l+ T' b/ g: \2 S+ e, k0 B. r! v
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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4 [. U4 h) w: \6 k& n) u# sWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
3 o. X9 @. Z: y8 P4 R$ Z( }Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。8 @+ K1 s' z1 ]3 m- n& C
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。. A6 q; _3 _9 G2 T. E# S/ ?
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）, s( t( \4 h8 ~: y- u
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?$ V3 k: c2 L% O7 g/ G/ N
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
6 v2 E) v+ y+ |  H1 U- TIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。, ~! |2 y$ `: U# J  z  q! i
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）) a+ s. T3 Q( K( {* }" W* I
Watson: Get that out of my face.
% p" M- X: }. Y: S) aHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
, Q& e+ g( U( ~3 Y' N' E3 cWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
+ o, x* q" ]3 K& K' }# T0 [! h路人警官Clarky上场。+ G2 D" A( _' d8 C
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.8 N4 G) U" G" K1 \. D. p
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）+ V& Q: ~- [# v# a* ^
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
# K# s+ m! u' rWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
2 x4 _2 G5 {7 V1 H, u& B& [Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。  {5 c) D# S! [" L2 h1 \0 b+ B
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）" c5 g1 P$ z1 |+ g
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.4 W$ c2 a7 i; Q; p+ W
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）; H' ?7 j( y. }4 M7 B: g6 {
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。  k3 U- \0 s3 G" O* d5 f% b% T
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）- x3 V- a" m  F* _
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
% E+ [' ?* {, ~1 rWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
, G) `4 N: Q3 ~( D/ C: @1 j死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。6 w0 A3 ?/ T4 r
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）" P) ]7 C1 P8 F
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。$ F: W( N! x& S+ F& L
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）: Z9 l) w# Z" o; N! c* Z
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  J3 b, p! E+ v! b, K8 y* M& l警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。5 _' m, w" `! S  @' X5 p
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
2 x3 A' O% {  y+ I' ?. r8 {0 E话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
' L+ F$ `% ~* ]Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）) e' N; i2 \9 k1 q6 L
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
/ p- b. Y* I. `$ _3 sHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
& P- z4 \) P; Y' G/ vMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
" R  |% W7 d8 iWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
" t  R$ O% O& }; a# `* P( RHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
5 J" l3 g/ k4 H' {& JWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
/ B! C; f5 x1 Z+ PHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
' e( P" V( P" W- F; tWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
9 R4 E1 J" ^# f! b  o( WMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）2 _7 x3 O* N9 Q
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）% A" F( b, A6 x# d) X
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) v* v' X& v5 {, K$ f总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……