《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。; }' Y2 B& Z% t5 N. @5 f3 q
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。: v% }6 T+ v4 G/ o0 J+ j  ?
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
5 a* u5 x: Q* C2 n0 e! }: UHolmes: I just picked it up.
2 P8 p' ?: C3 w* [$ Q9 E' dWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）0 Z7 u+ x- U# z! w
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.% [( E7 K8 r6 _9 V; P# [0 B  ^
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）) `) q3 y' {/ U1 R) F3 k% A
Holmes: You did., X0 \' @! x4 G% n3 `" N, ?
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）! p8 N# T/ i, t0 z& ^
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
6 o3 W+ H5 a# cWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
2 x& I; @; |. |Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。) ?( K2 W& d" ~
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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% X# w5 ]+ \. w! r+ P8 @拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。5 e! n2 O+ e& a# Y
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。, O/ l  V  M+ B+ X
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）. S6 m2 u5 O4 A. v4 V4 j
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$ e/ _+ \& a3 B* UHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。+ W/ w( X8 h6 }+ Q9 [1 \
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( ]8 |7 C& s2 [4 \6 |1 IBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。% }1 |$ \' g& Q5 m4 O* ?6 ^4 g' r
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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5 n8 d0 F4 y7 U1 C( s1 B0 NIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?4 P7 }% K8 u* M% r$ }
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）& T! W  E: Q( U% E" h6 B0 ~% W
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.9 }) @" A5 r- J7 }; ?$ u
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。1 u# |8 {8 m8 E5 w' Y
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
% ~3 [% j6 ~8 P9 E, x' mWatson: Get that out of my face.
6 s% D% C7 g$ p9 @Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.  G3 t  p  O+ T0 z, E3 i0 h8 v% h
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
( J% z1 _( h' p0 b( }路人警官Clarky上场。
& ]. Z- W% u8 y* F' AClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.3 R) ^) \2 n. n) m2 w  X
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）: ?1 ?- M, Y" @4 C  g2 k; O+ p4 R- @
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
$ a) b! t/ w7 r% SWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
  k) E: B) M7 U2 `Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.4 y9 k4 q* D+ B$ B# U
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）7 l. Q' ?% q) Q3 Q' h
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
8 p; l& l  M# ?8 W& U: a. T) QHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）* t9 |( z7 q- ^/ K& f9 O6 O
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
! N+ a) N! G- pWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）  N4 G$ g$ _4 k2 ~! D' m
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
9 u2 x+ h: @, c3 ~) CHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）2 V! y1 C5 Q8 l: M4 z
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
4 r; L! u9 s* X9 x0 W7 CHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）1 c/ t) o6 b3 w6 R* K) Y
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
% [- l2 u0 }9 r* Q* ALestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。; Z, U' R, I7 T: R
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
, E. w0 N9 a: W! g9 e: P' h6 k' THolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
9 l; }$ a7 [8 v! ]! C. r/ gWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）" t! @( W/ _/ t5 w2 E& [3 t
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
& {* F5 `2 d# N1 G+ f/ T# AMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
! [- v2 A; `* i9 I" ~6 ?Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
8 Y  M. ]% p; \Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
, w' Q5 o7 N' I% S, n( Z. i9 yWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
: ~3 M& M& J- y; A2 L; KHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
% p7 q" j4 \# ~( D4 e+ HWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）6 T9 C8 v8 \& b/ j& \5 I) Q
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
. V; f8 p) \2 c8 ~! h- b（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）4 e' L- y; q* _: |" T# r* l
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  b+ a% y, z7 K2 q9 O% _总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……