《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。; t9 s8 {9 _6 e( r+ Y1 n
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。' g* E; f$ k5 v. \$ l- y  F
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）9 A) g) [: J* E! O7 x, q" D5 W5 w1 V
Holmes: I just picked it up.
8 C9 l" _$ u5 iWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
1 `0 c: u1 x8 R0 eHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
0 P4 e) Q* S* bWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
; J# p) t$ q* l5 u) O' hHolmes: You did.7 h6 P  M2 l( w$ ^5 k7 b+ [4 F* t
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
' y# F( ]6 D  g* Y. \( KHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.& j9 o: r8 k# F! \/ B+ \
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: g2 A: N/ Q9 a' ~  X9 h宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。6 x5 t0 J( Y5 D6 T% l9 E1 N
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
. @( ]- v6 ]0 x9 e7 q' ]Holmes: Granted.
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1 k' C/ y% G- b5 e( D, R7 ^晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。+ E  B$ d" F9 Z- B# k+ D5 m/ j- u( M/ e
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。) E4 X. {- k! q$ F& z. B; [8 a7 E8 D
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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! X$ T0 i- V4 k: b3 ^6 kHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。2 p2 x4 ^0 m( E/ ?7 w$ ]' p, t
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( f: `" Y) C7 c/ g" c  @! I0 ~: d7 Z1 PBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。, [' j1 s* Y" a5 f: Q# I* ~
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& N8 g, ~- i1 l) t, \Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。1 t( g6 {) C" W0 Q$ d# g
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）# o# ]$ `. W' D
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
: v2 x' Q% v/ R9 P) J; ?/ {Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
5 [* y: g) s8 A7 v) W4 i+ Z5 MIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。5 t7 E1 `+ H. K
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
& c7 L0 t5 G/ u$ `Watson: Get that out of my face.& K0 n9 y9 G' W1 l; Z& l
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.9 p; e" [" I/ R+ |8 V
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.3 k; P0 z& H7 s; P- @; B3 r
路人警官Clarky上场。7 N, @8 b+ T4 J4 ?" g  |) [4 G
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.) c& W% T' m0 n' Y* T. i
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
0 g) M1 ^- A% R& E) {得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
1 o) z1 ]* Q5 m. H' F6 lWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?7 k) k4 a, F! r- ~# ~" s
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。6 R( w- V) e; Z
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）& R& ^+ G) O5 W: S" A
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
+ ~& l/ E# O0 A3 D0 F) H) bWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）& w0 _$ o7 H* A: @8 `5 C6 g9 p
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。- R, B% M( c) u% B
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）- b1 B; U# w: ?
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
3 S1 C2 J8 q* s2 E' j4 KWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）& P- }/ u  ~7 D/ V: A
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。4 n  b  ]# u2 J7 Q$ L- ]- T
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
% E- S+ Y. B; e- d$ b/ u后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。5 }6 q( A( S* d. ^" {; P
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）+ Q+ s2 d9 R* p. m5 Y2 n4 t) t
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
. Y: c* t; I. l( D5 ]- RLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.* F8 O6 `/ Y! U
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& g- K5 `) {. C8 E5 O) ^接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。9 F9 k3 a, C. v0 v4 c% t
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。* Z' ~6 H" L; v' j, B
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
  y9 P; F5 v- v1 n4 w6 `Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
  O5 ^& D/ b* }. G& [+ C# JHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
4 P: j' ^2 w" Y+ V7 t" ~Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?; J" R- j  S  E9 a% T
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）" ]+ G* g* n- }3 W- `
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
5 H! k5 u; d7 V: D0 LWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）! N2 s9 s  `5 z, k& W5 G9 ^) p
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）! T" {+ Z; c4 z5 a! P: W* u' d$ e) ], m3 D
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
* Y  q1 j- s4 pMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）" l/ [) Z; P8 e! X7 P9 \
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）) _- C& W9 Z3 g& y; S# M- Q
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……