《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。% E8 Y1 @( J) b
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。1 u, F! X- P: g* t
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
1 Y0 R7 N! R  _Holmes: I just picked it up.  P4 s) z3 A- X# K9 y
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
* f* y7 r6 Q' SHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
, P8 J  I1 k: ^5 PWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）+ q8 v% Z$ p% @/ I! I+ w
Holmes: You did.- d2 g6 |; p4 c+ O
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）* X6 P7 L& `+ `+ U
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。, X3 P# y! j* B2 w( b9 B
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.8 L  \$ u5 F: z% m
Holmes: Granted.2 f, k7 V$ b+ |8 n$ e$ A
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
5 Z2 v- s1 n, N1 j! F, E: x8 yWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。+ P0 d- H. d, U% O) W& _# m
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
- U; o6 R0 u* U! w" A! p3 GWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。0 O! R4 M! n5 ~
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  `$ @- i1 b6 {" u2 @( JBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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3 L, [, }/ k2 zIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。+ f" v6 g5 p' A7 k& \" D3 |
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）, ]" t- `5 q! i3 ]  @
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?& S0 O4 T' V6 m* C$ @9 z% x4 K6 y
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）! k4 l& F4 A/ |8 M$ M. q/ u
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope., {% Z. v, J& I' _9 h* z- z
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。: m. A$ `, K2 Z( x! {6 f8 N1 U' Q
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）; f- m% t1 K+ @# i. e6 B! t9 |% m4 p
Watson: Get that out of my face.
$ G+ [; y3 S8 m) k0 x' kHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
( W9 g2 B; _8 f/ VWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
9 g/ A- f4 N. ~. k2 s路人警官Clarky上场。$ y4 f2 x# Q* i- J0 J% Q
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once., i# b; p7 `. R( ]1 X% v, k
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
# d7 A6 D- M. `- w9 r% q! Q  S得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。( y/ i0 v3 c: ~7 e7 l5 b2 |3 d
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?4 P8 \( V- L0 S$ ~& P: }% L6 r
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.( K7 L- u- }$ \' `( L9 k
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。4 I- O, g! M; [- w1 p& D+ f( p/ W
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
6 P/ p1 I% n6 d8 V6 G( NHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely." l6 u& I3 W. }* \( P/ B% U
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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7 O7 E* i. q, X6 E9 w, B2 T河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
0 x) ?: L9 e2 u* r$ m2 xHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）5 b7 K" g7 Y; m/ e
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
" ^8 w9 A, b, H4 h8 a. |Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
2 e8 Q" Y4 Q* P- [& J' R死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
; H! F5 W! m; S9 O' MHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）: o2 j  ]5 `4 w" r+ c. w# d  c& d0 H
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
3 I3 f- U9 Y% o, }8 m$ Q, ~* ~# wHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
& i  ~+ h" p8 I' e  w4 YLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.( ^6 {2 T' E  s5 \
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# z* q, f" g9 V* Z$ F! M3 ~接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
" O7 C9 p1 ?2 M( x话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。: `' J( h. Q3 U8 T6 G/ Z) h
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
. D5 p) [8 C$ M2 `1 `7 g2 \( {) [/ {Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
9 ~- M5 [  |' a$ {* OHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
: O5 M# q3 v/ u0 l) i; M1 hMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
7 L* \; E4 w. Z, A# q. MWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
  Y. P* [2 U, u& \3 R: _3 q" ^/ z2 AHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）. A  [9 G8 Q* R7 T7 V% m
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
9 V+ o7 _- @3 |: D( c- MHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
( P- d* o* U% h9 u0 ]% y6 tWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
2 p& m+ c) N' b  c# y& M; p3 p% NMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
$ D/ f8 M) `* e2 k( [2 T& |- B（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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) D  l9 {, {5 H) Z5 y总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……