《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
0 h' N7 m  [4 B  n' SWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
2 O, ^# b; W9 w; e, D9 E! o7 yHolmes: I just picked it up.  i8 ~/ z: T$ H
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）8 l' {% y8 c1 {) q; P' v' M' f
Holmes: Knew I forgot something." G  x" R/ @- v) {
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）6 k5 F3 M$ x& t2 l
Holmes: You did.4 H$ C: q$ W9 s6 W. L& v
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
& M- b9 h+ e, ?' p! j4 I/ `( DHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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+ n8 }3 _1 V& B宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
( v+ D* p9 ]) J+ B' Q6 G% ?Watson: Permission to enter the armory.0 B" Q, P/ @& k; ^  P
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
" ?' W8 `, t1 |8 p7 n2 I: oWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。5 h0 D; Y6 Z' j) @8 d- S' o
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。2 T- I1 E; T5 P
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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  `4 k  ~; X4 F0 D# B: T% H6 sIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
8 z2 S1 \, h5 Q5 \- e+ d（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
6 g0 t+ |6 L4 S( _4 |0 `Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
+ g3 B$ }3 ?. K& p' G# @, fHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
- @7 w/ A5 v" u  z+ m  u. A8 D, gIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.4 a4 l* G! F6 e0 u# l& i  A
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。8 M% i: e8 _- C2 z
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）  \& O9 o+ N0 p# s: j8 V
Watson: Get that out of my face.7 a6 n% K4 t/ _/ b1 w
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.% t3 A. i4 }* D6 q
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
6 X$ s* }8 L% d5 J1 f路人警官Clarky上场。
# z/ W' {8 L8 l" B% ], WClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.: T8 E+ A  i# f! c/ H/ ]
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
% j1 r) U7 K. h* f; M$ ^得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
- p8 t1 F8 \( \( pWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?; ^0 k$ a& L8 }5 Y& e5 o
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.1 h) a% _( U2 {( h! v8 u# K
10.
- t0 @% u& Q5 J墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。; _5 J" T9 ]& {8 ?9 }" X
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
$ P( d  D2 M4 x& |Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.: X' i/ R; [! V6 a( s) U" W+ ~2 K
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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+ K; U( T# d  }' v; x& j河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
, M$ i& `) T2 G) o3 T9 w# i1 aHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）! A& U2 p# T# W: z5 ~0 B' e7 H; }
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
- c% k' ?& h0 k, HWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）0 R( W$ e; d& f. \6 V2 q- X
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
: u) F8 z: s1 [! @Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）! I2 H$ k0 B) b6 }
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。+ B# H- J& `. J, @) `/ C  v- w9 Z
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）. V0 j" c5 H: N
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。& V, j6 h! ?$ C  C- H- `
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。% ]/ P0 N) C( h' H
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。9 D( ?" C1 O3 m  W$ p5 |
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）- {! |* w8 r. h( f
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）' W6 a+ b! ^- |! W4 b1 Y& a+ u! S
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）! c, ?5 u; V5 _7 ~
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?' j  I$ w. a7 \8 J8 S% a8 `' H
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
1 g! Y' ~7 d8 x2 r: v+ X. BHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
  Y( l: [: _3 J2 k8 P3 QWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）/ W$ Q& H! @, x  Q  l# `! l( n9 U
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）3 Y* |+ w8 r* G5 R" y
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）# f! {4 }& e  m
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
! K/ n$ F9 C! y5 }2 S9 m# Z4 l（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……