《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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% o3 x' u% J4 R影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。, ~- e6 b' `, D/ d& R
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）- P" U) x' V& ?7 e
Holmes: I just picked it up.
, B' ?7 O; P3 t! Q$ [; Q- [Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
7 x& B2 h. r7 C: b  |; [  i' q8 R8 \Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
0 [7 t( X9 N" D& K1 n2 W* jWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）' E2 F/ U+ y3 @3 H5 S
Holmes: You did.) _) r! O  o' s4 m, z/ q/ @# B
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
6 a+ h( `; w1 e9 z9 jHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.$ R8 G, R/ G2 B) @) E3 C
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。* C$ T3 S3 s) N
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
5 r9 J6 n% R8 K1 m9 I# o3 FHolmes: Granted.8 ^5 L' w+ L0 @" c9 J3 f' [
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
) }9 E' p) Y7 n& PWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。# G$ c2 U( k7 i
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
9 g  X( y1 w9 s% aWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。0 N' b; w/ ^) u' y/ N+ K
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。. _5 U. l# t) ~: ^# \; P/ _5 I
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
2 `: p/ {4 |' }5 f* R) k4 MIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
  {$ N& ~: q% z# i0 NHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）7 a( P9 w9 K+ G% T6 n
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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: }* Z5 O7 y' U  j# X9 nIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
3 d' o% J0 D' Z1 |/ B" ?+ Q6 qHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）! F: E$ ~) `, l! n) t* ~
Watson: Get that out of my face.1 C4 Z, ~8 m7 u1 g
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.! q9 R: i: ^! a: c+ ^$ p
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
- m. I3 Q, J) Q- U9 Y路人警官Clarky上场。. J2 P3 m5 p+ p+ D, O
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.3 f. E5 c  M. H; v
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
; v+ ~, Q7 }# O+ o$ T得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
; ~, Q/ h7 f8 H- {8 PWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
- o) W5 k) H1 z! p7 OHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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. r& Y+ u  I- }2 g墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。  Z& c! Y# p* y9 M( C- Y
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
& n2 `( H6 p' M4 KHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
4 L& y! I7 W8 c( N! ]& \Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）8 Z( J5 |* v9 O9 e
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: |# p# O: ]3 Z5 ?河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
1 T' C4 @7 S, m6 r- |  U- BHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
) d  L! Y, g* y6 m! a$ I# q" Y( uBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
1 G5 O: e8 k2 h* [Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）, o+ Y1 h- c) m7 Y
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。4 J9 b/ K* u% _
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
( D) A) `: f5 P* _后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
* e( ]) ], v6 H; n+ K) `Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）4 r, S' w' @: f* I
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。  ~; k/ E. @  z1 U
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.# r1 ~% |2 i; K0 R' N& k
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
; H/ r0 x/ r/ O话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。' G7 u/ d1 ^5 I* R. T% K- B( @
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）  M% w, i% ?4 y/ q1 X- J+ b7 S1 I
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）5 S8 B; g' e, P6 n; S* v* [
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
: [6 l1 G2 o$ H% a* C% RMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?2 U8 a) J3 m! W6 Y; D$ o0 y" F) \
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
/ M/ o3 k# N) t3 Y6 g& D% H! |Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
8 C, f: M' B- Q/ _% B- fWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）! r8 s8 x+ q& q$ H
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）% D& ^( a3 T) i7 ?" b) S+ ~
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）" q2 K; U, ^+ v+ f
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
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/ q2 _% K' v# ]# \总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……