《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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# v- [: g# ]2 o" }9 B8 Q" f, F& t& Y影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
4 p9 d. B3 w5 a3 tWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）+ E0 f' w( ~; ], T5 e3 Y
Holmes: I just picked it up.- L. o  T- [" F8 \4 j& o# E
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
; R% n3 o2 I5 @6 jHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
& [$ @) z% p: rWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
, J. R* i# e1 y% R' N" _( Q  |Holmes: You did.+ F$ ?4 X% q$ n2 W- K7 K
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）7 U5 Q3 B5 U  y
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.& E$ v6 D5 h9 T: D: O
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9 o8 ?0 g1 u6 y7 v  _0 O9 i7 M宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
% L6 {& N; k, }. A" n. P& hWatson: Permission to enter the armory.) v! a3 P( N' @" }' p1 b( e
Holmes: Granted.
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+ d1 U8 |3 p0 t9 l& p. A晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。7 f+ h8 h$ @1 f
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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. ^, g+ t0 _# t/ N4 v1 M/ M拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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9 ~7 `. J4 l& \Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。3 N" A! S% R2 a0 @( P3 @# e& m. s& C
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）( q! a$ I; W  S2 ]' a% V8 Y
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( H2 n: b8 U+ P. ?8 A2 T/ KHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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) Y  C+ J5 C' P, I" w" ?. aBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。+ N2 }9 L( Z/ p1 a
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& x" C- M+ A& h% A* g; s: f) a! H" dIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。# Q( _: W" y4 D5 v& [# ^5 V
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
& p% t8 Q. l/ k' pIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?" L2 J) @+ I  Z% \
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
0 S. Y! E1 S  ]. s# ]- {Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
. N0 j$ u! Y' G! u3 I/ a$ j5 mHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）  I" H- ~4 x. j. ?& w2 k5 k# \4 n  o
Watson: Get that out of my face.
7 Z$ H  N2 J! b, S6 A# L7 }" N% V& @Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.9 e( Q/ F% g4 X- }, u
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.6 v$ E: ]/ a9 M
路人警官Clarky上场。
7 g3 Z% `- A6 O1 M  l& ZClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
  X. ?6 M. P5 X$ Z* ]- THolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）; H: o& `0 k- M
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。0 ^- M5 E5 k+ Q9 d" G; P* q
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
/ W  P/ W+ v6 d- _- n4 A3 O, v5 F7 GHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。3 B& v4 x! n8 r
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
* ~, {3 V. w$ B% BHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.6 S, m0 ~* h5 ?4 x( W/ f, [5 P* H% T' D
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）* r+ A  O1 P- D1 m) v6 t1 R
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. T) n! B% ~- u, q河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。- S" F& w6 \0 ?- f+ {" i
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）2 W; V& B" o' d; }" `
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…0 S" S% i) x- c& S1 [
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）8 K+ t: b! f' [
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。  N; J* T8 c1 S7 q
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）% ~. _( E8 w' o2 c5 v0 p3 I
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
( X8 e9 v/ V) E$ o5 [Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。5 g. K* x: G  D  `
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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/ D* n! j  _7 b& e1 ~+ F: C接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
. X; C1 c# r, i/ v3 ~$ W话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
5 f+ A  O- c4 F- L) Q9 o4 G) {5 YHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）9 W, h9 p9 M/ J" a0 e! l
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）! r+ M/ K# O0 Y" ~
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）" v, b+ G- c$ P4 p
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?1 J0 _' _: d. W5 S6 L' y# [" s
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）8 {* S* G  u6 S# c5 |9 i
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）/ e) u# c* [( B( M2 L
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）: P, W0 R/ d6 d
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）$ `) x2 f, d+ ?( \6 N
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）% y. S) o; J; h$ @1 Z  ^5 k
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）) `1 ?* m: l9 ~& _' Q/ ~# b
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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& Z. S! ], Y, {7 ^  d总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……