《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。0 I# [3 ~+ }; F1 r% m8 a
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
1 p9 f" u* f5 D$ y  d* a( w4 hWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）5 o3 ]0 n& ~! s) X4 i' R9 Q
Holmes: I just picked it up.
7 S; U9 p& }' sWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）, B+ w) k8 W/ H
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.! N# I- `: Y/ u6 B( z
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）- I; e. z- G9 m9 ]* J& j: W
Holmes: You did.% y* ?; U- K0 U+ G
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）# S4 n" `& ~/ n
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
9 _3 ]$ B/ g/ GWatson: Permission to enter the armory.2 L4 n, I( v" N' }1 A4 h- l; s1 V5 _4 {
Holmes: Granted.1 v3 t/ b0 Z$ [% E# [$ K
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1 R  p) u' v% @. k5 t晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。. n, q+ `) K0 }9 M1 z
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。( v. z* O0 C; y9 d, J
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。5 q( A% b3 c3 D1 I
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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: o% i& u4 x; {$ j1 Z) D6 oIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。% K: A! s. ?! h4 i# u' z9 M
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
$ Z7 n  w9 J; n7 ]" DIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?' A* `4 h2 {& D+ b& r/ e
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
6 H' A$ ^# N# d: z4 G8 x9 h% v# lIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。7 X4 l" }- w, f) t& H( F
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）5 D, ], q( B$ M& d7 v- \3 O" P
Watson: Get that out of my face.
1 N. S4 F3 e  N, z2 `, wHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
: d+ B& Z5 M$ M' UWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
, T5 r/ W7 d2 T  b. z4 s路人警官Clarky上场。
: W4 h5 e& b3 o; ~2 [1 R/ YClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
3 C9 t/ {6 ^9 A* r  PHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
; h8 U4 [) l- P+ W' _9 t得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。* `5 k& w+ j3 w) p* x' ~
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
7 d% U4 i8 U0 YHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.. w5 a8 |- r; u! q
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9 {5 C" y: {: ^3 P墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。) [5 b& D8 E8 f
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）+ s- `0 Y+ Z2 [% ~
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
, q- D: w% `% g) X, Z! s& MWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。& K8 J; n- N: e' ]4 C
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
' y- o! c8 }% G: R# `+ n! x9 W: @Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
7 g& ~1 |% t! z/ y+ N$ dWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
8 `5 D# @1 P3 c% h$ H* h死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
6 ^+ I. p! ^( b8 q2 CHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
7 m+ t( ?8 U$ h后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
! G; F) H  D- \" e. z. M% M3 P5 r7 OHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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- f  x0 x+ V2 |0 i6 b. P* [警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
! C# @, ^3 p# p& }2 K: l% r' ]Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.: C3 b& m1 g+ E8 e7 ^
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
/ ^1 H/ @  L* ]/ g" W' G话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
- \: T% f! A& ?( X* ^0 eHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
7 W- J  H2 m& F* K+ C& [/ fWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）$ x: |4 r: I8 u2 R  m
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
! G3 ?  n8 q  N1 c: H% ~/ [Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?5 c9 C0 ?7 d6 Q2 i# b/ b6 u
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
" ?( b6 r* {( o7 v. o. sHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
. a9 V  x) O, `/ Q+ P& P# ?4 aWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
6 U! d, n3 I* b% vHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）& \! c6 H! j! \( L" e4 @
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）( ?7 u3 T( b3 w. W2 k) {  M! p/ U
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
# i! A/ [- d; W, m) G* A2 s（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）  ~) H2 E, _3 o1 T- Y4 y
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6 n2 K3 v! F# B3 m0 B& j' n0 d总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……