《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。9 n: V& ?% k5 g! H
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4 B9 f+ G1 Y/ q6 _6 K1 O, ^影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。" b' o! r) w% e
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）3 P& O' d+ u& z8 e/ W
Holmes: I just picked it up.9 r- B; q3 F( u8 p% L
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
  i& ^( L7 X. e3 CHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
; y3 N9 h, a9 k8 w$ ZWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）. l- |; o' d# @; k6 g
Holmes: You did.0 m, G0 J4 V! v& o) N' w+ v, N
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
, R1 g0 t3 ^2 P8 ~Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.9 l; K) y- L; [
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$ s4 }8 ]9 ~. D3 o. k1 R宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
2 o6 ]( u4 V( j2 G& PWatson: Permission to enter the armory.3 b: {  N% V) C- D, ^+ C
Holmes: Granted.; |3 R1 t  s: C3 r0 |/ F7 o  s' l
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& n: J3 G3 I+ ]4 ?晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
$ A5 Y  X4 E6 n7 v$ eWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。* A( j- u: [1 N1 m3 d" C  g
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" F/ D5 I. u2 p# P& e' A' `* hWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
. A$ \9 S( q; x* l2 l# ~# e. TWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。1 l- T; z4 z# ^0 H4 s6 D0 }3 E9 T* F
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: r3 Z/ ~$ \# J! K6 J+ m. KIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
; O$ b: y& R/ j1 ?0 J1 J; h5 I（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）9 k/ U1 h' z8 J- a  ?
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
6 h! b6 c) l9 `2 P# |3 XHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）4 f* Q, A5 S% ]) ^
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。% P9 h5 v1 A, [
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
6 M& |* h- d4 c+ ]0 ?5 zWatson: Get that out of my face.+ y5 _6 S+ u: Y( V3 T' K
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.6 ?" M. o. d, }; x1 M. f8 l) e
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
+ r/ F8 k9 g0 ]路人警官Clarky上场。
" Z. Y# I. |6 XClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
; b. u7 ~3 c$ ^1 DHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）' M+ ~$ S  Z5 h1 h4 `
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
# A" J( f3 |; O- IWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?6 N8 A& b! ~! ], O  w
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.3 s" Y! ^  I7 R5 ~% A
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! i0 D1 G! K' A" k墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。, X8 [: F* e+ J# a' Y* p+ {
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
+ g8 k7 q3 D: G" xHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
& C$ T# ]) b6 K' I  G9 {Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）7 E8 K% k: q. T; t& N
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9 h+ `7 V' J9 z5 Q河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。$ H1 A' E+ a: i7 z! r
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）! `: a7 a0 s2 k: @! p5 R
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
$ C) O" b( Z& aWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
% h( F$ W. ~. o- \死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
! y' K; x3 j# {Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
8 J5 g1 V! J7 H# \  p; ]后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
4 ~- X$ h* G( _& ~& T& }% e' RHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
9 A7 d, U7 }9 o: C5 q" pLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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7 H  `+ U( a1 }接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。# w6 e- K+ ?$ p  S6 i, k- v  c* q" _
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
, H. M# W2 P0 r. B$ s( r" oHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）8 \2 O  G/ |5 J4 W, F% {' B5 |
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
: U" a" h3 F# R  ?9 W) Y" ]2 q5 UHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
- E0 S( L8 Y/ GMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?( d- o) D+ T0 ^# a- ]
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
9 M& h* O( k3 {& E+ C2 X5 t1 dHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）3 a- r% T4 L( ?& z. b. d
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）# w; z5 W/ Z1 H
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
4 z- |" k8 J+ K1 l( v8 f1 l; NWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）2 A) S- i- q0 w" a5 z" M3 a
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
# J: A; y$ C5 S# K' w( S( c（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）# b" h( |3 x) Z/ g- M' z( n
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……