《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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6 u2 h7 @$ p$ X# \& W3 |影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。" N9 h+ V+ i% M$ i& [
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
- F( F+ c: }. ~- H6 q# n) pHolmes: I just picked it up.
2 ^3 W. m# `% w% \( L- f( EWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）' C! f. E. v  T
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
( m6 n9 `1 j: ]0 v1 YWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
* t' @& J* j" W2 c& MHolmes: You did.
+ [* A4 A! F: k3 P/ v! ~（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
2 o9 z4 H5 F/ D, \: dHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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4 O4 d5 q- H& ?( q宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。* }. B3 \2 {6 f) a$ x* @0 A+ \) H8 c
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.+ Y0 z2 Z" _+ t5 X
Holmes: Granted.
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, P1 _: `2 C4 ^: l; I% U: j9 R# w4 P晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
! }( E& u& N7 E( RWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
5 y  C4 j3 c0 wWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）' _3 M) B* N' o+ t5 H4 \
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$ t( [' s8 _: u: W8 N' u3 u6 lHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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! N. g" @% b  wBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?  x* j, Y: E6 b; Q1 E# Y
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）% M" `  A3 d$ z& u) u8 w* ]7 q
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.! D. t4 P7 H4 h
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! K( C. e. @) D) @) _& f8 DIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
( k* v( s9 k& LHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）+ r8 G6 \5 H2 k
Watson: Get that out of my face.0 {( d3 \& s6 X3 n
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.4 P, s0 Q9 a) Y0 y
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.# S# \9 o+ x8 r  d. e2 U
路人警官Clarky上场。
+ ]+ @* \: v, r9 }" ZClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.% s' x6 e$ O4 B% s! H5 }- u
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）4 _9 K& d# k3 b0 ]1 L% \
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
  r0 f% H* M2 q- qWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
8 {* K9 Q, O' Z, h( vHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。" q* n& S( b/ Y, z
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）  `' Y! m0 M( e; G) Z
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.0 x/ ^; C% {; l6 g9 Q
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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/ C6 ?6 y$ \( ]# F- |$ R' l0 ~( P河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。. E& u' n' d& p9 j: @9 i8 v
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）4 ~7 a. q3 C6 f3 z7 P2 H+ d
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…0 {% R5 K( B, Z
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）% d1 n  d  I3 T3 u- @6 }! [) q( q' Z
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
/ I9 R1 }7 I' F, B: W! B% bHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）( d* S, H$ h* b; ~
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。6 w4 S( Z, P! S  B
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）" q( p8 x! F8 {( r
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
6 }& W! g2 P1 @* VLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。# J0 R: x7 K  N/ }3 w
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。+ V$ A& d% q/ a) c+ S4 I, e: S
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
/ B) K) B& `; x( x1 |Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）9 M* f% b* p6 B5 }
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
- |& x# A/ {! C+ SMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?4 N3 L: `5 v6 E, `( ?) n2 H2 t1 c
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
- \4 |% c# c& G4 S' dHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
6 X. U3 p! n7 |& MWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
* X$ U9 v$ I+ n* y- S1 ^0 w6 ]* kHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）6 G* @( A/ g) ^; M- }4 {
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）. Q) K& m5 P1 T8 O$ ~0 l: H
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
5 v+ b! K1 t- Y2 N8 \8 N（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）7 H- g1 I" {8 ]- C
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* u" m: k3 y1 s0 ^总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……