《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。4 A( L$ F0 z. m$ r
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
! S$ y7 G5 ~) n' I0 @! BHolmes: I just picked it up.3 s0 V$ i. {9 u
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
% O$ @3 n0 j8 r$ V/ ?$ o# THolmes: Knew I forgot something./ g; A' T  w8 R( L; L1 B( E
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）- Z7 C4 f/ K! D! U
Holmes: You did.
6 G, a! {8 q, e9 i3 V  O（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
% x. J0 j7 n9 V' @" LHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.1 R8 R; K/ I" T7 L
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。9 R3 }* D" ^" M
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.# T: P% m) p7 U# ^5 Y0 v' F) G0 S
Holmes: Granted.- l$ t. ?$ e" Q, N+ l
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
5 g: a& @" q- xWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。1 ?; [$ ?- ?( d3 B( f5 O
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。, p- p; T7 o  p
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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/ i& f9 Y2 y5 x5 O* zHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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$ v5 G! L- k( @( G0 W) L; F; ?  zBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。7 t, J$ c* L3 o( B% F
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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8 J, d% @$ W% I3 U' ?- u, o0 zIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
; I4 r2 {* X; c- H+ V% @1 L. ?Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
* `0 P. ?- t; g/ n6 _& xIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.1 R0 n: @, T$ p  D" b
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0 G7 _. ~& s9 UIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
  U4 ]8 {& g1 X+ zHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）4 o5 |8 A! I  q$ c" C
Watson: Get that out of my face.
1 @. }( D, r; O% C1 k. E4 ]Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.2 Q+ y4 c# k' K7 M* \
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.$ b6 `' n$ k, ]6 ?
路人警官Clarky上场。
+ g6 A1 H3 G. l& l; M: X8 QClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.1 p1 a6 I6 G  O- V5 E, x
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）+ R7 X6 U' L. n, m8 x$ z% l1 \
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
; m* \% B/ s+ s8 K% `Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
! H! s% i4 ~% [6 jHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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/ J# d# k9 ^1 e. Y* N* s& e墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。9 t( I5 L/ B+ X" F% @
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
' Z5 P2 Y5 B" B/ xHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
5 x7 ?% |+ d  G: D, ]+ pWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
( L! C; n, P" ^$ y. F. k6 }Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
6 i8 |. J* g; n  X/ ABlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
* w5 @' U: Z/ M9 zWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
8 Q* ?8 @  J3 n死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。3 P: V' T6 }" `3 t5 p
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）. z; Z+ A  Z' b7 T' Y
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
3 I" F& L: _" w, g0 n6 \/ M# Z- S/ yHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）. N; {' u+ l0 x0 }& v- w! i7 I, c8 \
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。, j3 i' p! c5 `1 h
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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$ H& G* j* c: ?3 W接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
0 V: k/ k6 ^' x# H& @话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。! X, Z# U7 f/ l
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
( |; r/ g1 q% }* m4 U- J# GWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）/ {( J0 r9 R' @) Q; e6 f
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
6 G. h- F  C8 x0 U6 RMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?) u. s2 ?* s' ~8 @
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
" ?" L2 Y! V6 L+ x! ]$ ZHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
% t0 d* Q$ L, G  T7 |# G4 ZWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）. I7 f$ b9 d9 e/ Q! f" s
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
" F7 H8 ?  s6 `& i  J* vWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）' \# l% }9 B( b$ Y/ A. e/ M- C) K
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
$ R8 j4 O  m# C) q（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……