《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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, ~' }* x- O* J& Y影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
6 l! d! U, `4 S7 L3 \" @Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）4 j9 L8 `  n# x, U+ a+ Z1 n
Holmes: I just picked it up.
0 l/ ?$ @& _- p% uWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
7 N2 |1 g7 V0 S1 lHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
, f' n/ E0 w. |6 a0 gWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
% T9 ]1 M' I, [7 H: Z$ ]7 _Holmes: You did.
5 d* o! j1 l! ?  Y3 F/ K: d（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
+ [* G2 x$ w0 J+ {$ J; [. AHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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* j$ r; s9 m0 [) u宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。4 S5 {) P3 m0 p+ @0 @; y- M
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.5 G5 Y: i* q2 ~; Y
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。/ y- J+ F2 T+ ]% N# Q' q! z
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。& R% a: m- n/ s% D+ b8 \: n
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7 @6 b! c. G0 ^! g. q* P2 O+ V+ C2 JWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
( i* I4 B& f2 LWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）$ H; i; _# ?) V: N% k" Y$ f
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" D# n8 _6 h1 pHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。4 g5 H, s( U' }( g1 m& e! _
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" a. `0 Y. F) V9 G, ABlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。0 D/ v7 {3 j0 t: V) F$ `- g
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/ Z, ~. b# a# O; {' h  _% o9 }1 hIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。) n5 R' ^6 I. r% B4 R- i9 Y
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）1 Y) J/ _4 C8 ~$ J+ ^0 q9 S) W& I
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
9 t: {/ G! p* c$ |Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）6 m: m- T5 b1 Q5 e  E, i* _: z+ b
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.* K: H; X& P& E( Z
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) x* t5 V9 K  S1 r1 J# l. DIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。& R5 K' L0 {0 H
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）5 y* e$ j: k% r. t5 {
Watson: Get that out of my face.
3 ^. k% S: `- d$ j3 jHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
2 L% D3 V) L5 ]3 rWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face., `" e  J" `- |8 o& O4 y. k+ ~$ g
路人警官Clarky上场。
# Y. y9 j7 a* @# Z3 DClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
5 e) o' {: Y7 o$ C" zHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）) I6 N9 u( K6 e8 H5 g: r$ F
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。( P# s1 I/ H8 ~+ Q
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?' P  J' t/ ]% V5 m6 H5 A
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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- b% }' i; D# r墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。. O. C* ?! c7 J0 T) L
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
0 Y9 O. U9 x; h- nHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
( T( S4 U$ J+ {; J# t, }Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。# Z2 J$ U( j2 x! c2 |1 c
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）' s7 m& g4 J' l2 ~- ~7 B/ S, n; M# b
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…9 z  e/ _( K" h; J
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
+ J8 ^& D0 i( Z% V8 g  W3 j! U死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
! B" Q7 c. Q: w5 T7 lHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
) ]/ p5 N; S7 a) X) J8 l/ c( [5 ?" ~后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。  p# x6 Y7 k, i1 z& _2 k) `& `( Q# o
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）  p4 i( S/ v& Z1 c- L1 Z6 X8 Y
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
! f) {5 d6 _: z7 V$ sLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
. `- L8 ^6 v9 Z0 i, @话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
) f4 c! M: q' ]$ n: Z( {. jHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）1 K: w* ^1 u5 k0 l& P" B! I* i; ^+ z
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
1 i) n2 E/ H* U1 q# B1 N, nHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）! ^5 Z/ v7 p# Y
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
" M; |2 T4 S, G) y6 DWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）" q8 d  P1 K4 [! h: I7 w. g1 E7 t
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）# L' V: }3 f% T: Y) G/ p$ [+ P
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）$ H0 ?. e( q% H# i( K
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
% H2 h! o% ^5 ^. \1 Y& LWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）) g# [6 ]/ Q( |  k. u
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
! U. L# H% _8 Z0 l" A8 w4 n（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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& c# L0 B* @4 c+ E总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……