 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 2 p5 Y' M9 }$ X1 v. B6 O
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
) ^ |' M" _/ qHolmes: I just picked it up.
: q4 k+ \4 O8 H& I% tWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) 5 f0 H9 D% G5 w7 O! G# @
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.# s4 C3 u5 q5 V0 l$ t
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
' \' `3 F# S; W6 vHolmes: You did.7 S& d/ s7 ?0 X
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) 0 J! E; a7 ?4 A2 j' ^# r' O
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.! \8 [( f& }9 I" Y1 @0 w3 L
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
4 y% M. V( g8 dWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
. ?, Q& b+ M6 C4 v3 V2 PHolmes: Granted." B9 m y1 S/ _- [
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
4 `. L' w+ ~2 y$ I) M3 [. hWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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0 C6 N: s/ h( T* l, l拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 2 W2 S! ]' q7 B# J
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" b! G/ d. s% jWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
" H! C/ ?- } n, _Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) . q8 ?' i0 D1 M( Q- F2 t$ }
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7 ~: W$ N, e4 Q! r# oHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
0 e7 n4 B4 z" E( M% y$ A( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
7 V2 |, i7 A% E$ V" A3 Z/ pIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
3 W* w0 w1 r9 e8 s2 P; [8 Z3 w. CHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
) Y& D Z% r4 ZIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 1 f! K3 d/ J0 l, v. C2 `
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
+ N. {6 `" I# @0 Q2 X9 S& U# qWatson: Get that out of my face.
6 I8 j5 B) s+ ?9 T- e, w0 G- d7 UHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.( W# e1 U" _- l( p
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
s3 h8 l3 v: `路人警官 Clarky上场。
" E1 f4 Q9 s* |& hClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
: l0 ]3 o7 [7 s/ Y" c" c! aHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) - w" R$ \. J) I7 _
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
% \$ T5 p3 G3 }! [3 A9 j1 nWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
L* F1 t9 k4 R$ cHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
& O" B9 V, M, N7 o+ k6 t- q( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
5 S, C" j/ R9 l, q# B) v, L" \7 VHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
8 G2 d Z6 x6 K9 V- }' n A: a' hWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) $ b7 q. b M; ^# }( t) v9 X
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2 v" p' o" P6 h河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
/ ~; L2 W3 M7 E% ^1 iHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
3 D3 G/ R0 V J' y# l0 u' T! xBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
) T( g) H) `" w9 {- MWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 0 V2 Q) Q* s X( [
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
1 J$ T1 a/ ~8 hHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
( U) F. X$ y4 Y2 f* Y后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 2 Y- J7 T) }. G9 U: n. T" H$ K
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
/ q; A2 w- Z9 g7 c/ ~- m- wLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing./ S$ Z" c8 }; g5 d: u
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
: F+ G; a# s+ z+ x) {( l. L话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 4 K$ K. a5 B! X1 i" W9 I7 u
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) ) C! }# b; h) ?: c! K: n3 o- o% {! A
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) ; @; c+ X. f8 P% |* t
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 9 S+ E/ X k8 g0 B$ ?- a9 ` T' C7 V
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
, A# i) L0 I a0 ~: a$ r) pWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
/ f! J+ E6 B& yHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
4 H3 h$ @9 D- L0 h3 _Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
8 g' v& k3 I8 |* X7 i" eHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
2 s9 ~, Z9 A2 ~2 E& l8 V& d# M) s2 `Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
- b5 X) @/ l! X8 J* S3 DMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) 9 b |+ {* e2 B
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) - R, P! M! ~& v3 i1 a
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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