《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。; J# L# k8 K2 o: [3 ^
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
  `: [* P/ ~0 c; i) {Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
7 P2 K& H8 i' oHolmes: I just picked it up.1 y/ L% A4 y# ^5 _3 q% ^
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）4 {5 t. N( q' g9 z9 M, C9 }
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.8 M" C, y- g" V' L! {
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
) k6 A( z4 @$ N, Z- ?. W% nHolmes: You did.) L$ y6 v3 x) c: A  A1 p$ @
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
2 a! F5 E) R* }Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
; v" s4 L) G5 B" b" YWatson: Permission to enter the armory.# Q8 {, a% `. o( V0 C- w
Holmes: Granted.& d& G+ V1 q! ]! M
3.
0 y3 Z0 @& C+ H: D4 [晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。: w4 s+ ]8 A* z4 j/ K; P" i5 v
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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+ e1 t$ r% z% d4 m7 N5 LWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
' q# {2 \: z+ RWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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" k6 w" \1 e4 k' [Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
0 f+ ~$ n! F$ Q1 z- Y, z+ i（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）0 k, z8 I, k/ M
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
2 c* q2 m$ e- p; [& C7 ]Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）% L$ U0 y2 @4 K* r. @7 R
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.# |: ?+ W) w% e+ }& _* v
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
7 ^3 K6 q$ Q* V% `  FHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）: w' F/ `, q0 I& C  f+ N1 i3 q
Watson: Get that out of my face.4 b& B; J+ O3 L7 O+ d) |5 P
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
. L8 `9 P2 U* e9 A5 B8 XWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face." ^2 W/ s3 d* E- u# F; ?. _4 f. p
路人警官Clarky上场。& @2 X8 M$ g, O& |
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.- o; U% Y- `$ E
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
/ }2 X: i9 Q7 l" k3 h8 X得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。7 e6 C9 a1 ^( b4 I7 l
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
' E& Z+ U+ O7 O  j! r  M$ e' oHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。$ b! r6 c% b' P: \2 U& }( j7 a* w
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）- e4 P# |. D) P* l) N5 V
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.. H7 W) }- A; t  ~- t- I% @- T6 y5 [
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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! j% n  ~0 x% Y- P  Y5 b: z河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
3 M/ F% ]5 K. B5 {0 n" }- e, A/ YHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
  w. K/ _4 i. F" z0 Z; xBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
8 K) T) H# a- N4 P7 @Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
. d3 u' P# e. t. ]  o( ^1 x1 h死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。! Y  G" E7 W: {4 X1 j& C& {; I
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
: m4 d4 l% w% [7 k  k8 U5 ~后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。6 L! W7 Q3 T4 ?: M: F
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）8 `! e4 k! y% i/ ~) H7 `7 r. x
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% D" m/ y1 @& A# ~警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。# d* D* P& Q. m
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.: v  A* ]5 _0 C0 ^
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。0 U: U# C: O) b" J. e( t! e& w
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。; Y# W$ U1 x. q+ K
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
7 ]8 b" r  Z* m, F) v% MWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）( }6 {7 I' M1 @. Y) J* A
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
! e4 l- H7 z$ @) ~* oMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?4 |/ W' Y6 O5 n9 ?
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）: }: ~0 K7 E0 R7 C$ B5 H
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）6 {1 e+ k) n5 b# p4 S
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）; p1 {& }( g5 |% B
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）0 o" w" g' j: n* p( w9 t/ M( A
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
+ Z' b# \3 g7 ?1 ^1 ]- o& QMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
3 l5 \7 g0 m2 j3 G8 K（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……