 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 ! r; P+ `3 @+ K% d5 _
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
! N' r9 z& I; [6 i( M3 [Holmes: I just picked it up.
2 i7 @' O L" f1 s) ?$ zWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) 2 h& s' ]. g2 x2 ~2 ]2 l
Holmes: Knew I forgot something., \: F1 ?8 n" f, F) O; N- A X
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) 0 c' W; v& I+ j s, d" y: w
Holmes: You did.
5 D" h, C+ E* T. T2 C(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) 4 r2 k5 K; d$ i6 E" O% h+ c3 l8 F
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.% P% S6 V' B% P- L
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) c# E+ C, H3 C宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 9 q1 ~3 Z5 K# t: I8 a
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.( o( S0 M% [+ u- H' n. F
Holmes: Granted.
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0 g; O& G8 Z7 Y, a( f晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
& k5 y5 ^7 s; W, f4 iWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 6 Z7 j# T' J5 q/ `2 J
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: A C; ~& X# l/ u! V: I拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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$ B8 A" I, w. {# Q: g ]- bWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 , t8 r* R% u! n3 r) Q( C! i
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) - Q: R4 }! w; f( u* P9 g
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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' L& D' p- i \Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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1 E7 E$ q! _ L+ T1 w" K0 H; KIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 1 d! z, l" Q9 ^' {
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
$ L( V+ e1 q, Q5 s0 D# H4 g. }Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
. o, F: V( W1 ^( q# o X; h3 t Q+ G2 WHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
# E! G# u8 o- ?% CIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 4 W% ^- M' N- g, c1 D3 k
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
% r- z2 A9 h- N; x) P" ~. \Watson: Get that out of my face.+ D$ Z4 z7 `: n# T
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
" G! c+ Z. l0 t" P* `0 T* IWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
3 e: J+ P3 M+ G1 D路人警官 Clarky上场。
) f5 |& v9 [' ^; J* vClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
. t# Z5 w, x# m4 Z: u. bHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) ' ?$ {2 W- Z* }
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
- J' f8 J3 O6 V2 N& u5 w+ \Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?, p! W* {- O1 e$ v4 v
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
6 S" j* O& m4 x4 y( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) $ c s; s: J3 H
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.7 H8 p! R( x# {6 L9 P2 X' V/ G/ S6 d1 Q4 x
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) 7 _( P+ t5 f* R( f, z7 S
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4 T8 w$ R. |* [河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
& |3 v9 |; y1 N$ M: O' M% ` NHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
( y1 k% } f, V, ~4 d1 s. e/ t+ j4 _& _# IBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…2 k7 l6 b6 F, k9 \( N
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
3 n5 c2 M9 `' K! J- d& C3 X/ w8 R死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
7 f- v- z% P. _8 M* B0 _# ?Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
( g% s/ x& u! x" ]: I后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 4 {9 D% E5 S" N
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
+ R$ J c9 H6 y% xLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 " Q- {. S6 [0 J$ v [
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
8 E0 t6 a) G1 r8 m" LHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) `9 A0 N$ R3 u d# J& c% l
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
! c* p c, U2 QHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) " U, l. ~& c! R9 J9 K$ P, ~
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
. \. z. t4 W# e6 rWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) * B* Q8 i+ g: u) w" Z
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 1 L A+ X4 h6 F& c
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 4 v3 }$ g& \# c$ v- W
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) ; R6 N V1 Y& h) I; z
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
. }' `' ?2 S; N Q2 j9 c4 CMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) $ B: p' \" X# N4 f: `, ]
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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) i# |/ s; N3 ^总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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