 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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( c& u1 b, p+ h( H: a影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
9 q6 o2 M* A2 K+ S; c* g: cWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) ; C+ s2 O6 K; |. f" G1 P. c, M8 o
Holmes: I just picked it up.
& o" Q: g n6 M* J7 l7 R3 ?6 X6 GWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
" D1 `+ _6 H0 ~9 D7 i4 L& D5 iHolmes: Knew I forgot something.6 R: @& }" c3 g+ r. H6 \. B
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
6 Y( f' J( g0 e4 J) yHolmes: You did.
" H7 {0 z6 d) \/ ^' c5 d3 M(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
S- [% L: _/ J0 [8 ]% Y1 yHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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6 ~3 R& R; u1 @$ n3 @宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
9 N; F+ K. W* e8 e" k# B& k; w' _Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
# ]2 L9 u3 @( N/ o1 uHolmes: Granted.
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. h M7 G4 W1 P) f0 t晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 - X# n. \% M& Z3 W$ K
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 : _% k" r- L# ~' M5 X2 J% m; R# h
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 + x8 t; g a6 F4 |4 ]0 n, G
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3 \+ A4 b9 W6 VIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 $ D, k1 M: _3 V' d( N; t# U
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
# l* s" V5 g4 i+ C: rIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?) l4 u4 L; J$ U5 f+ k+ H" a
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
) b+ {9 o; e6 T! y1 B3 C* ?9 r ]Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
! K- R5 K# [; n+ y9 YHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
- M/ Q0 y p; RWatson: Get that out of my face. C9 G' N: n j
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
: G; J3 j' L g9 d HWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.6 a" ?& d6 U- P) C
路人警官 Clarky上场。
. I! N$ K1 t! K, h) [Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.9 D" {% X- p; k2 v9 C- Q" R
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
8 L! k W# a; \7 ^* ^" Q( O得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
2 m2 @6 d) _1 U" IWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
% _8 Q6 O5 V. Q2 ]6 [4 V( |Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 ; j V& H* w! ^0 \8 p0 ]5 L
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
( T* O5 q4 s. m- f3 V; J) x0 GHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.* P T9 w( S$ E
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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/ f% m5 W* t/ x- Z' G: j, J1 @ r' t! g河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 " C' h7 H' `1 x3 b3 m) L9 w
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
) A. W B8 K, T$ iBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… ^3 |8 S Q2 h8 L" U
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
1 k( m `- a" x: B! c死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
$ T; O# X. e5 V5 F3 }Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
$ ]. b0 n1 S9 a# v后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
0 Z, B6 _) d% xHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) & w" x* q+ b0 t- n \
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
* B8 ]9 T6 U7 @+ x: k; TLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.( U( E1 W5 y- _; G
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$ V) l% r+ ]' {/ C+ w接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 ' j6 {8 z% ?# r4 M9 R
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
5 a2 e8 |# K# s) |; z9 J3 i! vHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 1 Z1 x. A. p2 j! u5 n
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
: ?; N! \. M9 Z: _/ K; [Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) / M# K' i2 @: }" o) t" N" z
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?; j; P9 d- C% L$ N4 ?* \0 m
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) 0 }1 x) ?7 J: U) J- L
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
) T! ~! p+ P2 p. V8 x' lWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 3 `, U! X; H x4 f1 U: s& q
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) ( |! q" ?2 k6 V5 J( D
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
( N$ F, p$ G" L$ a5 mMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
5 M2 M6 l t" H* u0 O( [" d7 N( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) # B: J7 A2 s: W {, B# i
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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