《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。. ?" U0 @3 W4 [% I# W0 N) U/ I& D
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8 Q" P; r4 n; U$ ]1 w- x影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
5 u3 ~  M& L3 N: r, j7 `Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）# m3 M: Z& S0 F- V* y
Holmes: I just picked it up.6 S, h. W! o" {' X* M4 a
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
  q9 H6 h0 v& IHolmes: Knew I forgot something.1 D8 s+ z; y0 G, G
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
& m2 U+ z' i5 h" y6 r$ F1 SHolmes: You did.2 [' s' Q5 F% B( b3 h: U
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
" S4 y: d6 M+ L' S3 THolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.. P2 m* u; U& \( o; g  i
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# @$ ?0 e% ]5 L& h- H& l宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。# V/ D, V& T$ C# k/ r
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
3 A: b, `4 d* @! W- ~Holmes: Granted.$ M* O! |# p/ B
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
5 {. C8 u  _9 M$ I& @& L! [/ n" `Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）* ~) I5 `9 }: X+ |8 ]
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2 I. [5 q3 o- ]3 ]7 w) F' r拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
7 S* ~$ w7 B3 q" h) DWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。; E1 V" c5 p- a# V
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。8 m2 |# F2 F1 k# w
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( W- L: Y6 Z8 j$ UIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。' j9 K) c9 I7 U/ y, j7 W
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）' y0 o! [& L4 `: K8 c8 I
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?3 E, N/ h1 }: C% w
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
" d$ M; S+ H2 M# Y! y! A! {Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope./ s0 e- u- f2 }" l
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. ]/ r$ R6 s. {; [" U" t: fIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
. U, |1 L' u+ b- q  ^Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）2 g" t3 d3 B2 Z. t1 e& w
Watson: Get that out of my face.. ^7 p% n4 E- ~" ~! z0 ^2 X
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.4 c5 q$ Q8 v8 D6 L1 S0 U* y0 l
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
" v. ?9 l  I7 J/ J! j路人警官Clarky上场。9 i5 Y- a5 z/ v) Y: p; a$ O8 a8 N
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.9 e4 u) D& o0 ?* h7 Z
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）$ H* D+ S2 b! f2 X0 T- K& }' w
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
2 A% j/ X  [; r, bWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?  l7 I: o% _) b1 j4 h
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not., v1 f; f& }! s9 f! A
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( M3 K# ?# _2 r4 M墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
8 a1 M1 E5 r0 t% q, r  {（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）  B3 A4 M: v7 \; V- p
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.3 l& L6 j4 r" h1 q+ N4 m0 ?
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
* N' l+ _' F4 T, EHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）. h3 U$ Z" u- j" Q1 A
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…/ `, W2 \/ I) f, E
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）0 g* ]7 W* ?. N: {
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
; N2 ^: w* r; D" W# L0 U4 v# tHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）6 b& b0 U  W7 V
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
7 @, h6 g) _3 [5 E7 A) [6 \Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）3 _5 I5 L3 O# G3 ]) O+ g8 ?  I$ V9 D
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5 s# ]( J6 F2 ~  M8 P警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。. H" g( X: o. n" {; o
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.' K4 \/ U2 \5 q5 Q8 ^# Y/ {
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。* B: c3 U" c& M7 T8 \3 t0 E
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
) F) C  G# P9 J+ E$ Z& E4 ]Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）! o/ E2 d/ z9 g0 v) p2 k
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
9 S! S1 L4 }' c- X; C* l: }Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
/ y) V* G/ ^9 m; ^# ^Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
' t; s6 E3 N2 R0 I0 s  JWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）: z! u- p. Z) m* o5 u2 N
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）8 O) L9 K3 a0 f. f, |& b- z
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
& ^4 A# O/ z7 Q% LHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）9 j8 B( V. |7 b$ K0 ]4 s
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
. m; C$ T0 V$ n0 F6 K8 \2 SMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
9 L: E; o9 x1 N# x; t; q0 P（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）/ e5 K4 v$ u+ @5 I( R8 |+ C$ X# q
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2 `& \0 I* @: S" v" I+ F总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……