 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 + X3 b! H- S. `; w2 `
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2 a- l% j9 p) v5 f H4 V4 F影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
) ]* Z) ]/ |* XWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
$ E ^9 }$ b6 A/ E+ DHolmes: I just picked it up.
4 I) |- R" Q) a, G1 A8 {Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) & I7 M' u1 L' Y4 z' v9 d, N
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.7 l6 @/ a+ Q0 x$ ^- o J
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) 5 m$ i! B) Q2 b0 O( K& T+ h" N
Holmes: You did.9 N2 \* r$ M/ o( n7 N
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) - [0 h4 `( j1 @) j, j9 ^
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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! g/ [* p6 @9 X8 V R' `宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 ( k1 \! V! C5 w g( z
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.! b% w$ [ x- F1 j* B, G/ T
Holmes: Granted.
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7 X) P- u4 n8 g晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 6 @( M9 F% C- M
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 1 W4 b* a* o) c% ?# p" R4 X4 y; D
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 3 P9 M6 t+ e W* H }
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
/ e* N9 Z% D- O# @Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) # s$ Q' A9 @( H0 A0 {/ A
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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' X- h0 {% h( q- W' {5 c! M4 KBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 6 ~6 z9 A; q, S: x/ R, r
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) C) i* z5 ?7 F+ I0 IIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 % T3 S& i y% [) t% L# O; u* e, B
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) Y/ r& N8 y; T0 H3 A! a/ Z. T
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
+ O) z4 y6 [1 e5 w4 K8 ?Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 0 n4 Q" S6 X: ]* ^2 r- w& ]
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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* T$ T& L! @ o1 t% B( HIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 & e3 ~1 x' }, c7 ~/ ]; u* ^. G+ n0 q
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
; A9 a& X4 }) |: D( H a. I6 LWatson: Get that out of my face.
7 `7 X Q1 t- |, d2 kHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
3 ^8 Q# L: q( vWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
- W- x8 p1 u5 {& M f& m3 S路人警官 Clarky上场。 + S6 L* K# y: r; T4 e$ {
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.! `9 D/ J+ e9 d z, x
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) $ Q2 k) R7 p- [' l& @0 x" M
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 % z+ {. J" q1 b8 L/ E
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?+ I6 w. _, o$ e+ a! a
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.8 v3 E% V4 Z" N4 ^* g" G+ ?: ^
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E: X' L) i, ?5 G/ m墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
, ]" O x9 w! h6 ]' g( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) # `: h2 W; b7 h! o8 r2 j
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.9 ^ A% {! v# g: X& u: u
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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; z. x6 u$ O8 k) b, g6 T河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
0 Y6 |/ j E5 w' \Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
* R$ Q8 m# R# m$ `; x8 Q/ z4 bBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…# g5 i' @7 K5 v _3 x: g+ d' W8 h
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
2 e0 b9 `, \3 o7 N* p# H死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 1 {1 }+ ^$ n) ^; N) \. \2 ?6 g
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
. x3 Z- U* r7 l7 K$ p; o* a后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
% P8 C \- F/ H* {/ SHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) ) _8 E3 g- i+ r7 S4 ?1 h7 I; C) c) b$ D
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$ E4 U) y# v1 B, n% c0 D警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 8 K; `5 C9 M: T6 p) x% w
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.3 d8 V% m k1 O, a( Y( p
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
% e3 {4 m* c" F f话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
9 z5 j ?3 x' `Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
9 X% s5 i- ~- ?: }" D& U. EWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) # m1 c7 b' Y5 r# m
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
* ]3 p0 q$ |4 G# x! ^, eMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?: k0 A2 q' }' b5 f
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) 6 H' Z8 w4 w3 j. ?9 K. y
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
7 o" ?. v% v$ hWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
7 E% y# u% ^0 YHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
5 J- m8 z$ E7 ?4 d2 ^+ }$ yWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) - |! q" D G* j
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) & b! e$ e; t6 V3 J
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) 0 A% k0 F' t3 I1 Y
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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