《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。6 N  V: L( }, n
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( Z' n0 P+ l& U9 S; |影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
8 W8 H* N8 X9 {& jWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
6 S2 k1 F  a4 M# ^& IHolmes: I just picked it up.% \6 u, U8 Z+ _4 R$ }. J0 ^
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
% y9 _- S2 s$ C" CHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
2 @/ _" V) W1 w. L$ q/ v' E6 gWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
0 a; M! F; W3 m- d/ |Holmes: You did." g4 d# t/ e& l4 h1 A, q) {
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）3 b. P) [: a" s& |
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.2 k( C: p" d9 E1 i) F  C3 [/ K
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/ w  k: j+ O. |5 o2 d宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。  p3 q$ U  ~, g5 V' U' Y( a( I
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
5 ^+ u% X: a/ `; W2 T! a( [3 @6 O4 HHolmes: Granted.7 F, Q+ J# i" ~2 Q% T& D, I
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
$ Q, P% Q7 @2 w% f" j; N0 ~Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。* H" N+ v$ e6 S6 \, u3 [- s0 g
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。9 H0 Q8 @! B8 w: B) ?+ ^7 S
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
4 B5 W; r% Y8 h（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）2 ^* j. N  m; c: ?0 u8 l: D
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?9 F3 P* y' T8 h* w/ R7 @! N+ Q0 O
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
, E* \0 l  B! [9 G4 K$ v0 qIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。" z; y0 p2 V) p, T
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
8 l0 ?' ^# C2 P; p  ^Watson: Get that out of my face.
2 D: W9 Y6 r* a) K# K& PHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.) I' j+ [1 P. O6 c; |' }, S& v6 T
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.. |0 M; \/ l" r! R) d
路人警官Clarky上场。! |7 v! Z. z5 X1 T3 P
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
; B! I6 @5 n' y4 CHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）* e9 t2 B( o# Y- F
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。# c- W  b& Y! y0 k! Y6 z
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?( t5 w) ~+ N/ R: z0 w
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。7 a/ _; B' D5 @0 R  ]
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）' M* c: V+ H! M' J7 O$ f9 K* h
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
+ s( f9 o- T; H4 \Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。+ |+ h  X' E1 K
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
3 R' ^9 E* m8 ?Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
2 H) u! z+ }- R% Q: `Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
# y: `7 t: @! N9 A* r/ E死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
! h2 H+ X& X4 iHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
6 w" w6 y# l% F/ [后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
9 B# Q6 ]) W' Y, p  f- WHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）: X) f$ C, O# w. _" h% ~, ?
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
1 b. T' R: m% Q; v& J% k3 TLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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( g, G% V6 L  `' I. \7 U0 ]" v2 }接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
( n. o: p5 C( J. q7 h4 X( S话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
! [" g2 i3 V5 j; [Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）5 ]: `: G  m) u
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
4 f6 g* m2 y! D" u$ W/ iHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）* B$ C# K, G3 R2 G2 X# y
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?# P  n8 L6 y% u- b) ^2 W
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
, _. W2 u; u) C( EHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
* W% n" J( G. V, @7 WWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
2 F1 k/ f1 Q+ M1 M" p! o  hHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）2 c6 k3 c2 n5 `1 _
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
  X8 x5 W3 @, A- U7 R  B( G$ HMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）; W2 F7 `1 [" {& v
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）6 e# q) `) B5 o
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……