《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。4 ~- w. B4 \8 Z( Z* B
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. P4 X* T& j7 x$ e1 ~+ E. W# P0 }影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。( ?5 \1 E4 q! V) ]$ N  f' x
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）9 ?# l% x) }" X! @8 ]) g' ]
Holmes: I just picked it up.
3 l* u  l& [+ k: BWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）9 \' _  k- C% ]: z: V
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
1 Q. w7 K+ `! L8 _' G3 `Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
3 o/ M) W7 Q+ N" c2 `, a5 Q( VHolmes: You did.
" T+ F3 `! X3 J% O8 H$ v) j5 X6 G（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）# t) ]$ F  w# z
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.4 M2 `* C3 l( \
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. j: ^7 W( X+ B5 X5 h/ R  j1 g宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。8 e( g- w$ K2 O4 H
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.  o7 _3 h4 c+ U) C
Holmes: Granted., A& I2 x% R- E6 L/ h( p; `
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。6 L  x2 e% C5 d# B- }5 [: S2 N# V# e
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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+ \  o# W9 o% d2 u' O8 [# Q拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。1 X1 }8 E& f7 X3 s6 D- n* S+ Y
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。$ ~5 `* u2 [! y. Z; V
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）+ {. K% w: b' S
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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: ], Q9 @0 A' p+ rBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。, A8 E) a, i1 z* h
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。( A6 a7 Y* \: w+ A) r/ ?* A
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
7 L8 R) K* s% O0 JIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?' w3 b6 d& ]5 W9 d. E1 W1 S: i  z  {
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
2 H$ d* J7 R- I- n# NIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.8 @3 D, u4 v+ K  O" B4 N  p. N
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
7 f2 y7 W, G6 R. IHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
& z: {/ W, p. o7 j! NWatson: Get that out of my face.
0 |5 F9 ]9 p  B0 S- B0 {! }Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
7 v3 d4 z4 J/ SWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
; E4 v( w4 }/ Y; z3 |路人警官Clarky上场。  o" g1 x( |! v! Z" P* `) y
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.5 u' \! s6 e+ Z3 [) x5 I$ {
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）5 s: [0 V3 M9 {, i) L/ @# J% k$ E, I
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。9 [5 d% G5 m+ ?3 {
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
# k; D  _0 ^8 O4 Y3 i* RHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.$ A& H6 Z; t% M" V
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。9 d0 W# S# {+ |: a5 g$ J
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）% T- |+ u0 E% x5 L5 L: w
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely., J% w& z  q8 B
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）* g/ y( W. V; U& E, r  V
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
9 V5 J( y( b1 w: O3 c* PHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
  J5 {, \9 h' A' O, wBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…( }( c! r& j9 F4 j& L4 h
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
. f; A6 o4 {0 {& L: R, n6 d死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。" `7 @( t  l' I  f6 |
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）; T9 m' e* ^" B1 \" c8 J
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。7 c* D( [) Z4 T5 `
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）( }, |# y7 o3 O2 \
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& s6 N) f0 W# s; M" y警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。7 d; j2 r$ D0 K; V' U" J3 t2 T
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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: s( X" C6 k2 v% a& d接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。0 l! v4 r1 O* Z1 p1 I% r, I
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
9 \. S/ ^) L) z  p6 y$ ~9 AHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）$ H1 y& c5 i" ~. P
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
3 H$ u1 X  c: ^Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
1 a3 x/ d( U; z+ O( ]Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
; e, d; y+ r9 \Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）/ z% a4 R/ X5 m
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）& o/ i+ D4 L* s
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）. X9 \" O8 C! l* D
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
/ ~6 C5 f* ~  l) NWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
9 C4 i- f0 J+ I. ?$ ?1 T4 j0 r" QMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
' Q- v4 [  g9 e4 o（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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/ h  g( }' {, w+ g* m! s3 x! X总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……