 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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0 g; d6 k( \. \6 Y7 `" G" g影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 ( _- i+ F+ z- \$ w
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
4 Q8 Y" X" X$ C% S1 p7 N7 s" q7 GHolmes: I just picked it up.
" }# T5 p' q( o9 ?+ R+ KWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) ( \5 p# L! V6 r( H: u* k) i# }
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.# U J1 X" V3 Z& J4 A! h7 u
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) 4 @1 b3 ]# N1 {! D* j3 N/ {
Holmes: You did.& X5 C; i% c/ K6 Q
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
" h1 Q2 q2 q. _9 a; g o! c" yHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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" X, ~4 j2 G {1 N) g) Z宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 ! `" l. K, _6 X% k6 k% N5 v
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
1 b3 S1 H) X1 `" z, c. M; bHolmes: Granted.; r7 v$ e% `7 b# }9 O
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9 [' l/ C$ h4 H% ^晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 5 u) m4 m3 }0 I
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 0 ~) j1 ?. R+ Z7 {1 N
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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; o# d4 {2 j% E9 j5 [5 \* b. L, CHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 + P7 l: o; W4 k) i3 c# ^6 v
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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% }# `2 a4 e% U! v- F" CIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
+ {, u& _( u* E9 R( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
5 h( \( [2 T+ l) xIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?$ D$ R- Y( C! \
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
1 y* I7 J3 z. P8 {/ K. {$ |Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
5 p* T3 W% X I; T3 DHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 7 ^; z# {+ a: C# Y' p
Watson: Get that out of my face.1 r) A5 v/ P0 e. s" K$ z$ W3 d
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.' f2 N( y0 ]" u8 p
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.# z/ I: T1 O8 M) @: U& G- I( V
路人警官 Clarky上场。
; K P0 N" q( vClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.* @8 }/ d0 h$ b6 ~) Q0 B
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
, @( {- x/ K- \* ?4 t得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 ' j- ]9 N b. n/ k% l3 `# `4 ^
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
2 K* j: P _! h' G) VHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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! _3 W" ] W0 s0 Z0 g( Y# d墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 6 n+ A( W8 A u$ \+ Q3 k
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 5 q" o; g. D& o& Y2 m" r
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.4 ^/ b6 o: i- t
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 + D! S6 n1 w7 b: }* o
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
1 \" y& ?- G0 f: mBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…* P' Q" ?! H2 N4 g% c/ l
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) ) U& D( ]( k; v: V2 e
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
+ \8 M7 p/ T# a# f- aHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
% x4 b0 J3 P! Z9 e4 E0 e! n) X后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 6 _, }5 U, p4 G' X5 m! w) J' q
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) % S! s1 F, r6 n7 B8 Z% I
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 ! K/ A' K; k& Z$ H% ~! s8 ~
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. U* D1 L# ]8 T' h3 X
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) u% {% e5 U1 m" c接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 " Z' \8 ^" I: o" x3 G* x, f4 I
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
) \! L. _/ X3 n2 AHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) * M' d6 ]+ l! r" t2 I4 N
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) : i" k# B6 e" [* n/ g5 K
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) , G" R9 h F+ P2 V; U- t
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
! j: W4 Q s1 H z' G, w: dWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
# [$ K) t Q1 |+ W0 dHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 7 n9 c# w; K5 H
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
E% U( L) U, j1 Q, lHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
h5 c4 U5 t5 s$ pWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
9 I2 V1 }& b3 _, r! x% @Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) ! {" A1 Q% Q @. K9 A
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) 7 p# t3 [: B( X7 D; u
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: v* r' O* i: Z- \) r总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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