《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。; ^! g3 G* x& X2 w
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）4 x6 i1 s8 r1 e, O8 \9 c% m8 q- l6 [
Holmes: I just picked it up.: V" A: l/ n4 k; g2 m* L
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
6 b% z7 r0 M( z8 n+ |Holmes: Knew I forgot something.7 S3 V% N' Y- B3 L
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）' ]9 z( ^" b1 o  ?, N& i6 Z
Holmes: You did.
1 g3 d" V' w# W% L（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
2 p# \9 w1 a. ^* ?; u' B' f. F; AHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。" C$ E! m; D$ `; z  {. c
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.' g( M2 b+ p) u* {: ^4 P1 _
Holmes: Granted.
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5 @0 l1 @* w( Q6 S晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。; Q. G6 _, B2 ?* x9 i1 F
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。( Q6 \0 G9 l% ^* _* Q
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7 K9 N) _8 A% VWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
: M1 P) G0 x2 i* |0 P" y2 mWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）3 [# h! K4 c- B/ w( X
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。; F7 _) f" a. Q& E
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。; s$ m, b% b8 w: q
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7 N8 c5 Q) z' M) RIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
3 B8 s0 R% {1 j& J（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）! w8 [2 ]# r( ^7 y
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
# O; _% C2 [+ Z; t, [# O& z1 RHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）) N" F: v, s& w& K0 g2 T4 O
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。; W3 s  L  d0 ]7 T
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）" x8 B* ]% H/ S/ `
Watson: Get that out of my face.# H+ p1 m  T* g
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
) t8 L$ d' n0 W2 O- ]Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
% L9 j+ E9 G" L( b, _6 S路人警官Clarky上场。8 ?8 l1 a; Z, K9 J4 A/ ~
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
" Z% T: c( K- C# n0 d: C7 D) ?% v5 AHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
, V# C+ o3 s, O" r2 @得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。, ~! W4 `: }6 g0 k
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
5 G2 q) n/ j: Y/ bHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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: [! S% ]" R+ Y1 uHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
$ D. x+ g; u0 @: i. ^Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。2 X+ l7 V, F* D. k
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）0 R0 u5 m& R. k2 c, z& O
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…6 k4 {" B. I0 N) C
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
7 l7 l, F" W6 s5 e死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
. P- V# b; q7 g; ^/ p' }Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）9 K6 A+ I# V+ r: P' y- u
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
/ D' u% q  z0 K& z5 @! a; vHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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* k0 v9 I. Z' p警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
: d5 g: c2 f) r8 \" V/ V  `, {Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
; m& X4 e( |9 n, \+ U' t话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。6 h/ U4 g8 M/ `0 O9 l+ Z" t3 U9 \
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
2 h% M6 Q# {: D$ vWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
: X$ Y9 h* s& ?9 r+ m' F1 A) q! J" XHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
2 T! I' }% {# C" s; ^Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?9 e4 i/ G% A. S8 @7 ^! M8 P1 Z
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
2 ?2 s2 }& v% O) R4 @5 m* ^Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）9 h+ @1 w4 h  v: v
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）6 @0 q3 G3 w1 ]9 J4 W
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）$ r1 b2 r* O. M. s
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
+ L- ~/ Y; l0 ]2 j- n$ H) zMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
7 Y9 y: X4 D" X（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）  \! P6 l; _8 L; g; l: Y( r/ N4 R
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……