《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。$ i/ v* Q* Z8 f7 t! E8 W/ z6 N
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
. l' ^2 X9 F$ l$ aHolmes: I just picked it up.
: B) x- M2 i- ]9 Z* L7 tWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
" e) H1 {1 X& l% l5 dHolmes: Knew I forgot something.5 p, ]6 ^0 W0 k" m+ r
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
8 t7 j8 ~. c- nHolmes: You did.6 J3 G+ s% i. L9 R
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
8 `& \  t; \/ b( S0 d' t( oHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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* k9 e; S& G: S+ r$ u7 L- c$ p( G宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
& n1 X0 E  L7 z3 fWatson: Permission to enter the armory.* e9 {8 S6 c; R$ [; @7 F
Holmes: Granted.$ v( E) j5 _1 K" B9 b" F- x
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- B! I  H. K  E' i+ E5 Z! H) @晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。' g: m% `2 s5 X: R' v3 y
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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& O# m4 E, D7 p/ Z拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
2 K7 k, m5 u. E) aWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）% v) R( E. u! q" O. I
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9 Z# A6 f8 E7 a0 V' N2 C8 JHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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  O, D: N' a+ v3 z$ G7 pBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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7 P1 j  U& v; R1 O: XIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
, N' H0 {8 l' Y+ c9 D1 \- k（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）1 ^$ p  {/ [( G+ n7 G8 e1 v/ O  p
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?8 Q# s3 ], L$ W( {9 ~
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）3 a. W% V4 m& X& D
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。5 g6 G- j* o5 b) [+ u& @: Y
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
+ [& s6 Z- k8 g0 i' ~8 GWatson: Get that out of my face.3 ]7 \4 q6 Q7 n6 n9 o6 ~
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.. H0 {1 C7 [4 a1 x
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
& K& i7 ]+ C/ b1 f1 [路人警官Clarky上场。; `0 a' x  M* Y  `' Z( T4 }6 O8 v
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.) n  p( O& Y0 j1 J+ b
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
3 ]( Z; ^; m2 g得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。$ b3 J7 Z# M5 v% n1 V
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?1 G: N( l; D, H' e- d3 p% H
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.) m# R6 C) o1 Y
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。+ e8 V( g# g) b& r: h3 z
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）" G5 B# Y( _# G& P% k4 d/ t( L% r
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
. ^! u% @5 N. \: J# Z& M* T* [Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）& v' n( B4 Z# g0 Y4 b% ]
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。& S. \. H5 C+ W
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
# `- S; g" H( }Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
# G; h' ^1 I! p8 L7 HWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
) B1 }/ Z( n. F4 T2 h' _  Q死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。9 p+ p7 N# v7 D
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）* r; S0 h6 [) b% S: y! d! m
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
- Q3 |0 F; n/ d0 mHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）/ g* E7 Y4 p# B8 ^$ S
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
& Q# {# @6 A. y1 Z8 _Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。! _" Y4 Y! e0 o: I2 C! W
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
1 l- P( F2 Z: oHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
3 U! ]% E- w) HWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）- S& k+ T% \. L+ s" ~  w
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
/ W; z5 o, l& o6 b6 {2 b( D( OMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?' y1 o8 M& v: P/ R$ e; p9 X! `* {
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
; k' Z( W. \/ s1 }+ l& fHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）$ j4 T# i6 z' _0 H, s
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）8 q& ^6 \2 h7 K* P" ?
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
5 c3 c# B! N) N" E' f4 HWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）9 [  G( v2 d+ r% U' g
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）: W9 ?8 v0 s* A( \
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……