《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。* n2 H( _- n2 N$ D  }
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。( n/ c) y& W  u" {- @; h
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）5 ^9 {) |6 C2 o- f
Holmes: I just picked it up.
3 f* |" I7 y7 \Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
1 A+ ]! v$ B! ?1 z1 U7 U+ [3 ?: SHolmes: Knew I forgot something.5 K' V7 h7 e" N: F; `
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
3 j; U' T/ f+ J. cHolmes: You did.
. t- `6 h) d! K: v2 S! }+ \! _6 a（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）# ^" m8 S8 S0 V$ X6 n7 G
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.7 w( [. F, m" X, r) c
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2 e+ r3 C$ f8 B/ Z宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。/ ~; B& h2 v' D1 m! G) w1 F# q
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
( [9 }, X  k& dHolmes: Granted.: ?" {; F/ d' k; l0 \4 V
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1 B/ F" J% i7 K晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。# C. @( n8 B$ u4 W
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）" Z" C$ P1 I+ A# a% b3 p/ ^
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* ?3 U" b8 k! \拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。4 t. K; H6 S3 O; {  S/ D6 D6 }
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  i6 w) ~/ U5 P1 aWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。5 Q6 P& D  O4 q) W" V
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。( f, |9 @" @' w" h
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。9 z" x8 M# t" A8 R. W5 w; v4 i
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）$ Y: `; v4 j# R# j3 n
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
5 o4 E  u) z' c7 u& [6 k3 O: NHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
& z7 j) _* N( N6 V& C; nIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.3 V' r4 N# I  L. p4 K" s5 h7 r
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。* a8 k5 j2 E* [5 s- I2 ^  X/ S* z
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）2 v7 q) z0 t* l3 @- L; K
Watson: Get that out of my face.
: j; v& Q7 e# }* t8 CHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
1 C9 k: S$ j$ O* x  @% O3 fWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.( g: e% t+ a+ b* R9 q* F0 j+ V- H
路人警官Clarky上场。& Z3 L- d0 C5 T# s
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
* w% i( E1 r3 u  @Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）6 m7 O3 m/ f! m3 n6 `1 ?
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。: ]1 [8 @7 l$ z' {1 F( ^( c2 j
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
$ @6 e! e5 k. E/ Q& w) z/ @Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.8 R2 X" H) G& C: I; L* B; ]
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。, p6 r7 i& \2 W. L
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
- J! S$ {+ a- |9 p$ b- d6 ~+ g# F; qHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.( P. A, G, _* e- r$ w5 `1 A
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）4 |  I! i; d1 j
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
2 I2 H  Z$ J6 Q# I6 @0 yHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）) z; O5 h* r( Z6 g
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…' G3 {4 Q/ h3 e9 R
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）7 g: q2 O8 Q, y8 C
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。" b& c& E& o  Q* J9 |/ x
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）# C' }3 f) s  p2 g; F
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。' Z) N& K( Y7 x2 z# d6 J1 C
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
; n/ j. C+ ?8 D4 hLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.7 v, P6 K1 c% l6 q0 F
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
3 h$ ~& z  p! \; ]: ~0 r6 l话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。+ J7 E" [1 e$ A4 ]$ T0 x
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
' G& u4 I" @9 I0 b- }2 q3 I# s) jWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）  e% Y/ w' ^* E4 ~6 p4 ^" Y  ]5 V
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）: S' M4 J& R! `* k0 ?! Y
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
  G# b5 W# O5 i# r* P/ w  OWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
! P% ]# p* @# `1 A6 S0 u* |Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
2 a! k  j( ?  c# C$ eWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）3 A  L$ u6 I, z" W8 U
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
7 r1 |$ d/ b- a. k" [$ W) ?Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）, D  j& b3 P* p& l
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
! V( Z1 b" A- d% E# w  q& J（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……