 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 5 C: n3 T( m- p8 S* } U0 B
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 * | H! B% j1 p3 Z
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) & }6 _# ^- V5 B
Holmes: I just picked it up.# p1 u0 M: s- _% p' D0 r; C9 z
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
# l* _' R& e, Z7 @Holmes: Knew I forgot something.7 d, I4 v* R9 s3 k6 U
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) + x6 o c( T* y4 L. V
Holmes: You did.# r& F, E. v, C7 l% |: ?% Y
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) ! ^/ K' L r* X5 P# h; a5 ]+ t# M( f& I b
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 7 o r2 j) }3 @
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.3 Q( {% n; Z9 x: K0 }! j
Holmes: Granted." s `! w O7 W- W1 R! I
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
/ u0 i Y2 z# O1 TWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 3 Z5 f4 ?3 W9 i; s" c
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) ?7 s# K( A6 G- [ M% N拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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$ K* a+ m2 L. Z- w8 @( GWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 3 N$ d8 F5 B E& R, m+ g
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) : L: Y# m6 m% r1 G
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' p F+ U, Y$ {" o( K$ ~2 MHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 " {6 c+ `, B8 ^6 C, P. s0 w; @
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4 E3 b0 k3 F5 T0 @: g+ M) sBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
6 z g) ]- W/ }8 a. j7 ]( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
/ L6 X! J5 |- H- n& I3 k; a( AIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
* N1 q: g! N5 N \Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 8 |0 @% t6 z! U# S' e; v) w
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.$ i# i+ g# a4 U5 S E
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 6 ~+ g+ h" b, \ j* T; K
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) $ w: T5 G8 a( P3 L7 x' J4 ?
Watson: Get that out of my face.
, d3 {; N" e2 C; ^/ I' i9 OHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
5 S* A& m' I% G3 aWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.( p. s' I* m2 c! \
路人警官 Clarky上场。
3 d( i1 @6 l0 G* k" C* z5 g+ z* aClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.# N# M# k; e- m/ l# n, Q/ f
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) ) T) E# {. M* S: C% D s
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 % P8 Z( {7 M4 J$ D$ Q4 n
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
$ p3 m1 x; w% Z7 A8 NHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.3 T- ^2 a1 C; j
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 # U1 _* U/ o$ i2 d
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 6 N0 H6 B) E. u; n4 f' d
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
' ^ h% e9 S8 uWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
: `% B: C; ]6 I( i" mHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) / p7 U; G8 p4 n
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…, H' F" X& E$ w" y2 U
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
2 S9 A% I4 b9 H9 f, q死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
! X9 x1 P+ J1 L$ _7 i; \3 ?Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
8 L( E8 X4 _5 c' Z+ L后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 & b% l" r; U$ C/ N5 V- @& P' u( s" o
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
/ N1 Q- i+ |5 e( x+ H LLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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( H0 Z5 h3 a r4 N; _3 r接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
# _* `9 m: h9 p2 C话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 ( T7 ?6 B( n6 V$ D" Y$ c
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
% ? K( C6 a9 S) TWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) * o: E6 p9 |! ~3 S
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) - j5 ^; S) `! l) [1 ~3 ?
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
( \. Z1 K( b" S! UWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) # r9 ]' S7 B5 F/ n$ }
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 2 d0 y O8 J! b) H. T& e
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
. x$ _( m, y* |8 _4 K6 CHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
" I# z5 B9 s. i5 S+ j V& Y+ [( TWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
+ P4 J7 y7 H9 a: F) K7 ]+ BMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) p$ `4 k6 J2 X' k1 X; X) ?
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) , ~% B- T- j1 o9 T( B. ^+ |. D
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& d# ~. }6 N5 [4 U' n总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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