《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。: }& m, G4 V3 j! i2 E
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
0 H( u' \- S% Y' a+ b$ UWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）+ Q( x9 @5 E; q8 x0 x6 P
Holmes: I just picked it up.
/ u% p7 _' n+ j6 bWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）$ z) d/ S7 ?6 S% l: q- S
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.1 w& Q- z4 {6 j+ j  O# a
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
* k; K4 ]' ?; u3 b' F) BHolmes: You did." k4 Q2 V3 k3 h% K/ {# [
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）; C6 O* A4 I7 }, @5 m" A: A/ e
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.5 x/ [& x$ n9 {( w& p8 Q- e+ @$ o
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# c  G& V8 l2 ~+ T# p, F1 _宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。5 x& M) U9 D% U3 B
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
4 ]7 X) n1 u  o1 |3 a! j: HHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
% ^3 Q" S8 [3 u) I) WWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）: I# ~# N8 s5 u% |6 ]% n% ^2 r
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  |1 A8 D! ^& o( L( ^拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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* Y9 {7 \( W* U( FWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。- g( T2 _2 i4 l
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）6 {3 B0 N& ?1 _5 t# j
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6 x. G/ h5 `& gHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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* s" s2 H2 D$ J9 OBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。2 q2 h6 o2 U8 N4 G' x2 d
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
+ E9 N% ~- K$ b（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
- a1 f& b! q/ {, A7 \% ^% Y1 yIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?* V3 z4 \; S5 X/ n* _9 O! ^
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）* {5 I9 O1 D6 z' c. w
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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; G- T" c% J" X$ y# `( GIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。6 S* Q8 E( m! z2 N2 u6 t" [, q
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）! W' g" z9 @2 ~2 V% w# g7 E
Watson: Get that out of my face.7 Q& O0 f3 l3 R. ^, |
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
# s$ r! ?$ k+ @- eWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
- h9 ?( C; H3 s路人警官Clarky上场。8 g2 M/ j5 J+ w& ]8 h
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
1 d' r3 ^: i- G! B1 uHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
9 B' ^* n/ }1 |  `5 r9 i- A得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。7 k6 m  t$ {( f' e
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
2 Y# I4 v9 R. f) g/ p( Q8 ^& @/ AHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.: v9 k% E4 [  X+ Y1 L. \
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。" I  k! c4 h4 j5 a
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
) {3 |) s1 q+ Y& E2 r+ ^& {Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.- N0 p4 s' k" W) p
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。" D- ~& t3 D0 H/ f) \% K
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
7 g8 s4 P7 ?( I3 ^' HBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…' B. B6 L/ Y" ?, r- f* b
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）0 }3 `+ o; z  W- y
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。0 S! E& p& a  I; f0 G5 n
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
) y& U6 F3 i2 A8 ]# a) x6 U后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。- I; v, X! ?4 z
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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8 r9 B5 t& x3 M4 U+ o5 }6 [) E8 ~警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
1 a6 ~( |% B6 [  l! \! r) dLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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' z2 H, J: s& U5 x5 l9 y  L, }接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
; @& @, Y9 H. Y/ f话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
# w- @' j+ P! h  j* R5 @0 F1 K4 xHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）. o: D$ w- I+ F& O9 E% n/ T
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）& h$ b1 S- _+ f0 b6 t
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）$ I: O& s* ^9 n/ T  M
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
. g$ A% w* ]5 O7 NWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）7 L3 h- k; b5 {8 X- l5 L( v  t
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
3 Z( @0 c# Q/ wWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
+ s1 n1 c4 q9 ?6 G! fHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
9 Q4 w- h# Z# a( b% M* KWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
3 I  U) W) F0 D5 w; @5 OMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）/ n  ^& Y6 Q& s. I
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……