 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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8 ]# J M. z9 w6 W: `影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 & l _3 q% k: q B* j6 z) d3 k
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) , N7 Q& Y f- O3 [" E6 p/ _
Holmes: I just picked it up.* J, d- d$ H$ k: Q& R5 Z. [
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) 6 |) @2 i2 w5 Y6 k7 w8 s
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.( o" `; Q* Y( a- f
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) D. j/ ]1 `" y
Holmes: You did.
( l3 c" G6 c% C% W3 K, C(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
( W/ I9 q, F" R6 p7 ZHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.' O C }. L! L6 J/ L
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' c( g9 o4 g( h6 N4 F! R) w宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 ! P* H! G* _ f4 n; ?) y" o4 q
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.0 @( w4 q3 t8 R+ @, L' d
Holmes: Granted.9 v4 {+ d( @. ^4 ?3 E
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' L9 X, A- Y$ C: E4 A2 g) U% p) i晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 6 E/ t, j# n1 U$ x4 ?
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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2 t, V# b" |8 Y8 b9 a) B拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 & d9 \, M0 a# I! [+ }; E) U" U
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& [1 z' Q4 j, q( p k2 X3 O% PWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
) n- c: z2 s- V1 f2 I0 k5 aWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 & `) Z/ ~! N# a( L) k
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5 Z, v# c& h/ b% J0 m0 F8 l2 {3 u8 o# ?Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
/ z8 A' q/ p) G3 d( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
2 o% ?6 w- X# A3 B2 vIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?$ w9 z' _) t) V/ G$ ?+ | V( b
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) $ [/ V% W* A/ X4 J# z+ T4 {$ M4 H
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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: f' Z7 S [+ e+ [2 gIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 & ]$ C2 [" H! Z0 e/ e3 Z5 T% t, ?
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) % t: P8 e% b( V# q9 M2 l; K
Watson: Get that out of my face.
' i+ }7 w. J6 o" SHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
( W/ ^* E- Q, p% d* Z; O( @- o- }Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.: | G W+ \2 M$ e$ \
路人警官 Clarky上场。 : T) @% G) @, B7 d8 o" C+ z5 J
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
* C2 o8 V$ x! t( x) O" ?Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) ! |% p* A+ p7 N, Q/ e& T
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
4 g1 V5 m# j3 L9 i% `6 K XWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?- _% T+ _0 e+ S
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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/ [' P! y# ~ c8 T墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
# n7 M. q& q% E% m7 ?& j( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
; }# Z5 n f. t1 ?Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
& u( s6 [2 l# e& _$ uWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 % P1 M. O0 T3 T3 o5 x
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
. U# k0 W+ ]: C0 lBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… r6 m ]. r8 {$ F1 \( e% I" j
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
! D6 O( U7 j, F. h& ?; C0 \死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 . M; ^! ~! k& L) i) L, E/ F
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
2 _1 o1 Z& K3 }0 _% ]* f后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 , t2 j6 v# D7 I- A. Q; Q' J5 v! `
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 3 p0 g6 u6 B+ D" l) f9 j. B
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0 U) r# \. ]$ j警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 7 H) w8 @) k0 u) F& Z
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.4 H0 ?7 e0 y, h4 K$ K, ?- N/ I
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 - R% k) |0 n( w u1 I$ G! ]0 l
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
: E7 y4 k" T. ]: v: R! Z3 Y1 ]! @+ [! nHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) ) i. B- ^" _6 }3 _9 q6 D# b
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
3 ^* y C; L5 z9 j$ G3 OHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) * u' @9 |* ^' V8 A% ]% G8 `6 q: y. |
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?0 r" Q8 N: L; n4 ~0 g
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) ' J* i% |% }% X3 r. B
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
' E$ k5 ^; I9 z: {( |* ?7 BWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) & ?/ x6 m6 F, }- X
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
# M" ? ~$ Z- [& k3 N- ]( JWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) 7 S: V: b0 @% c- t6 ?3 ]
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
, y# ]( @; R; q; Z! @/ K+ i) O( j% t( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) 2 ]0 D- z9 y8 {: O5 U- c( V! o X
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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