《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。1 S! |" I2 Q7 I4 O/ D2 l% D
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
' N! W1 Y$ a* l! i0 n7 EWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
1 Q- H9 W5 O; P# s+ OHolmes: I just picked it up.4 g5 B, D7 p! o( l2 W. E
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）; ?: E/ c5 x: P& |: Q
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.; q3 e6 p& n+ T4 c" H5 @2 L# d, a4 n
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
. C- H/ v( {) ^/ q3 uHolmes: You did.9 o6 ?6 N4 O+ b+ I9 @
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）  ^& _5 I4 B1 R! a
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
0 W2 L9 B; S! F' jWatson: Permission to enter the armory.# A( _% E" T- V2 ?9 j; h& u3 S
Holmes: Granted.
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5 q  }" s, u: A: s6 l; R晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。4 x  c1 `0 ?% |
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）; t, I6 k' b* b. F- V1 o; u
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2 }7 |1 }% b$ J2 G* y拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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' I. K4 t" c  |3 L6 L8 eWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。' O! h. T4 B" H$ F* Y6 c/ y& S. B
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）) U6 Q$ f; z1 _9 _1 M: Q  k% \: C) v, U
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。  A+ m. ]3 s2 G0 e* E
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( o3 O( |5 L. f: C; HBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。1 a  w$ i/ z2 I2 }2 A6 B
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。# A! [- m: `3 S: n0 v
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
. U# N. f" B6 @# W# BIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?3 v9 W! `( f7 G2 X8 e
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
, }" p0 P$ a, E0 Y# lIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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% j9 p! ~( B! X% @Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。( L+ B, @2 }: m: Y6 c
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）  a5 n+ ?' Z3 v, Z8 `
Watson: Get that out of my face.
6 b3 w) n; X4 Z: ^Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
. M$ d5 V5 g5 z, N7 @% XWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
/ s0 p3 m: n, ^( _8 u3 t) q路人警官Clarky上场。9 [+ T' C( P# h! Y. Z
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.' H+ `) w+ A3 s6 w" K7 y
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
+ d2 D- \+ y) ]# e+ T* s1 j- k得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
8 m! ?9 |. E& j* lWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?6 T) @5 z) J. @( d, |. x
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
' g! ^  F8 a% K' ]" ?（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）1 A5 f+ q) k/ H5 v
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.# y, V! ]; l. w* ^5 o) s6 u( g
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）* }! Z" A) ]: W* f  D1 Z
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# p3 J# L! k8 l$ w河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。2 V* O: I9 x* }2 ?% E  Q
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
6 v* g* @- M% v3 G" [$ k; NBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…5 a' R1 u; F" f) Y. p$ @3 V+ p4 x
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）  [2 x6 V; Y" j! A- M9 @
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。8 B- O0 D7 Z" k' j1 W# l# X
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）  V; J/ N% h5 p
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。: K/ e9 y3 h4 k' \7 _
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
% w" L& k: O( r; b& ~0 _; l  GLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.2 D1 G% x9 n8 `+ u
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) O5 @9 O( a/ D1 b2 z+ q& Y接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。/ ?: K' f( ?7 {, y* x( ^2 d
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
- Z- l, \7 ~4 e( E) M* i+ B! @9 eHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）  d+ s# U# ]) F, n9 d; ~
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
2 g8 \3 M  a9 \  ~5 jHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）/ s! J8 l- \8 k  ]% n
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?% T; _$ a$ j$ G9 D' D
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
5 j4 D. f0 W# `0 Z0 f" b/ [Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
  d: x- {, R# I$ G' S& L% ]4 JWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）) J$ q/ h  y3 D+ w1 t
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）/ p( E, V5 T+ [) f4 s
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）' H5 q8 o( M) T/ X
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
7 n4 V# _/ y. v（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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4 F' l/ L& e7 n: E+ o总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……