《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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; Y8 l' `8 I1 E/ ~# [" e" [影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。, h6 k* R( Z- v. p" p9 d. M' U
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）5 M, j3 ?9 n8 N( |2 T% w6 O8 {
Holmes: I just picked it up.
5 A- t4 u$ l0 U  hWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
( g1 L8 ?/ n5 l8 Z, ~Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
' Q0 b8 ~% x- J' r! ]2 aWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）3 U3 w1 N6 |* K) c, P3 Y
Holmes: You did.
: a4 e! v( U8 S6 i（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）+ y5 _. I; t) d% @2 [: C# H
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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# D$ V$ E: q* h8 ^7 K宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
- u4 U. A& j9 Y# b8 s7 u8 SWatson: Permission to enter the armory.- M3 Z$ ~' P" K# h0 M! u
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。/ ~0 D) k# N: z( @+ I9 c, S
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）  b. v3 Q' P1 J. n
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0 c, m3 [2 W1 r3 |, {拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。% m1 j1 m& B# @# ]
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$ d4 Y8 U' K) g* Y7 x4 aWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。1 }- |  b* Q  Z8 V7 `6 \' R
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。! j, ?$ x( ^, K& K: E5 ?7 I6 B% b
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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% i! g: `/ a. MIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。/ c* A  L/ c4 B4 t9 ]
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
8 n' Z- d' W7 a/ y$ gIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?0 S; g1 W) W$ U3 s' V2 J
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
5 f, y+ [6 u3 Z" _: lIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
! U8 Z/ {+ P+ v6 O  v9 LHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）' b% h/ y1 o) G3 w
Watson: Get that out of my face.
8 E/ i( v# ^/ [# F+ ~Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.1 R$ c& e& y* ?% j6 n
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
9 M! q( T) w2 _( j路人警官Clarky上场。
" [/ T$ i( t: X8 y- YClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.. Q5 a+ L; F0 q5 @$ h" P, b
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
" @& s  g' J+ A  m. o  C得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。& n- N; a/ g/ B# S5 b. a
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?' v- U2 P" |7 ?% P1 R
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.6 q7 }4 r" o+ J( @8 N1 f
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/ n+ {/ o$ Z% f( p  x墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
! R) ?8 t1 U- R/ F3 I+ T（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）/ f  l" U+ r1 i' G
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.. W/ P5 A- V' n) f
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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3 e- E$ b  V1 K; g6 z河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。1 d+ [. Q5 \: y- [% _
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）. }6 U: M( R9 u, Q6 p) T! Q
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…* T  d  t7 [* N! L& a$ f' j
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）% u1 Y) o/ W4 T
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。( i8 b( c# q5 T6 t, Y& @( y  E- j. J8 L8 V
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）5 R* C" |; {' R& }6 s1 j6 Q
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
) O; i$ n# |$ O" k0 HHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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; Z# z% c; \& z; v' J警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
* m) P8 L$ I# r# {$ ELestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。% g# W* X5 ?+ L5 g; V' H. H4 q
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
! b" B  c- v5 |+ a3 r4 CHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
' w; Q) y/ b9 n# N6 OWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
8 i' [6 J3 F7 _) T! ^) \+ m# `$ OHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
* ], M* u! [: s- t- x! s9 z8 rMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
# C" \" |9 E1 r! ~/ @" m0 b2 q2 HWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
* @! \: v/ J& e* h7 rHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）% q- v- x% k' A. i, f. e2 C$ n# N
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
# m6 _2 O6 x# n( v# ZHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
6 f7 Z1 A5 r0 T4 A+ A3 SWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）' b# x/ x, R1 x& F. Z
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）& P( Q6 Z+ H* a; G# Q3 t
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）4 ^! k7 s! |3 r+ B! c
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6 @2 F' E4 E( ]6 |$ ?( X0 a总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……