 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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' W2 v4 e) h( ]影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 * |+ _- v, n" i( E/ r f& O7 w
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
( N( e3 R8 l8 F5 G. ]# MHolmes: I just picked it up.
$ u" b$ p: l7 M* E2 ]Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
8 S1 S- j4 | _Holmes: Knew I forgot something.3 @1 o1 A& I% b2 B# _6 D0 G
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
2 {& d' u' f- |- ]! l+ ^Holmes: You did.
, v4 [, O U$ J(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) ; O C1 F, ], d1 ?1 t
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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# N4 q( {; z, I- |/ @ ]6 ^宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
4 Q) F. Z2 l! {# W, |+ EWatson: Permission to enter the armory.6 n* ]; a/ u% h' |
Holmes: Granted.% ?8 k* h+ r; n; O+ [( h
3.
; b. p% r! w* M6 k0 K晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
2 |8 d0 f+ u& U/ qWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 6 O- q- f! [( Y# C- k% G
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! L/ x- Y0 \# k% D }Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 ! d# s% H( H; _2 O6 u
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 6 E6 x" g# \( r
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3 n7 |9 m" I: `Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 7 A+ k* Z, P4 f" ^
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/ w/ e! w- [& D2 Z, w MBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 * Z0 |2 W K6 h( o1 T. N
8.
* p* W9 D; `7 B% Y6 R/ p/ Z" S# cIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
/ A7 q. z; P8 h& S' C# r. C1 q; s3 ]( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
4 u6 s3 U, K1 W, s' p LIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
D% `. B7 d& \' n+ EHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) * N, b1 s, r* l5 k
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.; O/ A, g2 |; Q
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
0 b; V+ ~ g+ ]8 V/ Q" | YHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
% a4 s, R$ s1 d! p" DWatson: Get that out of my face.
4 U4 E1 O, L2 n: g3 ^7 c) h( p FHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
1 P" k, a$ _6 F- |Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
# e5 S1 @' T6 z6 S3 X. Q% w路人警官 Clarky上场。
! P4 Y7 r D1 L Z \Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
, I, Y6 x. E/ H3 W( AHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
: w1 m' [3 p j& y9 ?1 ~/ S) r得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
7 `( y7 I" i2 \( C5 D. XWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
5 E$ F5 F& G9 F! f+ r0 t1 s& CHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.9 z k: \, ]5 k3 F) m; l. R
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
$ z& _( w# o( B) q1 n( ?/ g( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
4 Q X5 N+ ]% W2 WHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.0 q" e' a |8 R2 ?! \
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 9 [. y/ \9 J6 u- D. D
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
3 X8 R; s4 d) H2 yBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
, G3 G6 b& y7 XWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
?, O& D" C# _! h! }: z5 X7 e$ @死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
4 |9 z" f1 o1 e8 v6 j/ iHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
" a+ {4 k9 {+ Y$ A后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
; {0 c# J5 B# C4 p$ y; C* bHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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- C1 Q7 t+ u$ _# V警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
P0 E3 u, b3 Z: h4 J/ hLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.4 G: [- j% }: S' |6 p+ v
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 ! F- W+ L3 o8 z* i! e/ O
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
; E% }( [3 j0 T' p+ ~) {Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
$ u3 x9 X- d% ?$ h9 n0 s$ j! _Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
3 W0 J: Y- t: _8 B8 @Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 7 U; R3 a1 e- W
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
8 j! m* [' N. C: D+ aWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
7 I! n* j, F" P9 \0 q; eHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 5 A' w1 H+ L* T$ j+ i+ D/ ~
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 0 w5 C1 u8 x6 S8 z" N
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) 4 J B; p7 \% h0 O% c9 \* D& j Y
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
! `& ~& K2 _' d) @& V& c/ BMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
) o" k6 G) l+ }% `* j+ O* x( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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& Y, w4 h4 |" d/ F6 p1 G总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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