《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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% _, W2 V2 c2 _3 g/ u% q影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。! _5 h7 B- O4 u- |1 A1 s
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）2 E4 x3 g3 ], N5 J3 ~) Z& r
Holmes: I just picked it up.
: Z5 Q; [" z5 i: T5 Q& h% J2 S5 y+ JWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
  [) b! T! r8 UHolmes: Knew I forgot something.4 G- i% K) R# |( I7 t9 q
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
: }; n/ v. @9 o# @" }Holmes: You did.
6 ^( Y* v9 A3 U- F$ Z& d7 I8 ~9 ~（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
. h2 K& X  y0 t3 Q/ z1 hHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。2 x- {6 g. W: o7 b* D. |9 E
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
8 r& ^0 M' n7 T# Z  o7 aHolmes: Granted.
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- q0 K, [2 N) u0 G! m$ T- z晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。0 ~) A8 a: \. x2 G" E
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
' p, b$ v4 H* B' U4 `% |Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）, C2 x7 S1 c6 P. |9 C8 c! V
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。* {! c& F* ~2 e4 i
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1 F4 E2 R, d1 _$ PBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。; Z* Y( y8 r& x
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: p; ~7 x: @/ D! i: k% xIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。) F) p# f- B4 a5 {) T3 c
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
+ F" I; j7 P# b0 |" k- Q8 MIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?. r( a1 M% O+ T4 p
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
' L! q1 [: m/ |. Z, Q7 j8 dIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。; I  L5 g0 I/ ~) H' \
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
' K3 L% @4 C6 ^9 a' p9 MWatson: Get that out of my face.
4 ^/ u; ?7 U" k1 X0 sHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
5 {3 B: C+ h% I7 L" q. q5 pWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
! T& F4 J( o" z9 u8 F( L路人警官Clarky上场。8 }' [9 j9 V% I8 U$ u% W
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
& a2 Q+ W; ]  _6 J0 wHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）3 f, l' E( ?3 N0 X) _
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。) J: x& ]2 d/ M4 A' s
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?, r6 v0 ^% v, M5 ^- N; z8 Y" m
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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2 E0 L, j2 t7 D" B  j( T  o1 C墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
3 I! f% E. V- b7 Y+ v（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
, t" w3 N" U2 K2 B$ B6 _1 o/ [Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
* e/ i& O( A: I# y+ vWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）; c: G# q& a8 t
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' ^# }, Q  X: p$ V河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
: K7 P/ b: n& R  n$ }" M& `# fHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）2 {- V, V4 H, f5 U4 z
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
9 A/ I" Y- T5 @9 Y( P) C& s6 v% m  RWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
$ S+ ]3 d$ r& p) k. E; V$ W) C死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
- S4 m" k2 Z9 h9 e" kHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
8 D2 g$ r  u' T4 _0 M后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。# S4 ~7 t: I, M) f
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。6 Q' K- H$ U; b( R
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.1 d9 ~& n9 M+ f  P5 D! E, @
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。/ K1 z9 X4 |( v  ]8 E8 k& i& M
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。# z# g$ j  I4 O. v* I
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
0 s, |; _& t- ]' \Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）  Y) Z& o1 p$ U6 z4 {9 G
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）7 q* H! O; Y2 {) Z- {- R" w/ A* z/ {3 e
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
+ C9 G1 _' B0 g* {. ]Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
0 p: n5 G; N6 x) i1 J5 a  jHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）) v9 R5 h& G# M$ g% L& y
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）" t. j: A* S3 ?* ^' W
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
6 Z' Q  E" R) A! m; g- r2 x# Z1 iWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
6 H6 s& m; p6 ?, ^$ XMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）* T8 `) T# h- e
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）$ ~, {" |. d* ^; W1 ]
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2 W( @* L6 z  B, }总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……