《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。, Z/ j/ n% r* ?& Q3 @
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
% Q) {8 k+ M. V* P: I7 bWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
) n4 w& R2 s& w: H' [, E# R: p2 _Holmes: I just picked it up.
3 M, Q  c4 K: d/ \Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
7 t8 @; P: @$ Z' {8 O* `. G  {4 {3 uHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
7 @) N+ W" n/ d$ ^' U1 eWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
# X) j  J/ ]6 [' Y5 K8 _  @Holmes: You did.+ Q+ Q$ H2 J/ r( T
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）! y0 x- ]8 I# q/ E4 p" f* ~& G
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
. x4 w0 W7 j/ [4 L( d. _; eWatson: Permission to enter the armory.  V* l. \' |, _1 U/ z
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
$ p# D6 k, X% e, _1 C3 i9 nWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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; v* E* u+ A; H$ n2 g( `拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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) ^% v$ J# J- |7 r) e/ o) qWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
: a; P) F6 r  a& QWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）; N9 c, e; T& Q$ k
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; v6 _# D% t9 l- A) d' |+ RHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。2 ~0 I6 t- v* j' \3 c
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( x7 x" }" [3 L/ |! K! J) wIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
7 A* ]; r$ C. n2 \$ ~3 Z（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）4 O* B# f  d& I
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
- m  V" U+ a  b' w9 l- s4 N  I3 ~Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）" I$ ]8 E2 E$ W# B
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.5 ~$ u9 W- w4 K) s% ?  z
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2 s+ U2 I6 B; c2 k1 IIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。2 o0 f$ K8 m) i  n
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）+ H9 e# ^# ?* s0 s. E
Watson: Get that out of my face.
2 {  \& u0 Z9 R+ d- HHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.) F  H- x8 K; Z/ m: P
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
5 G0 t: d; ~  X& ^# m, g路人警官Clarky上场。
& C# |) B; A3 e. J( w% E4 yClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.5 {' V7 _; Q2 O4 E
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）) R. w( _8 I" N7 O  q4 j( S
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。2 }  A  k2 T' c. O3 q
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
. v. c. w! N/ `Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。4 I: h# n0 I6 o- M+ e0 N, y
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）- L7 [: D4 Q7 G: o! l- s
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely." F2 I5 w2 N, Q$ g/ N+ R
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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( F6 J! p! F* |8 K+ U河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
. ]& \* Z/ i% xHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）- V& r3 k( ?- l7 k
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
2 u  {; A: s4 ~Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
/ R$ W+ h1 I6 w2 ~死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
' g) n" ~* Y, Y9 lHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
; `/ ^* M  g& `$ U后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
/ ]7 w; p$ M1 ]Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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) a* S3 ]; s  i7 H- X警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
- {* j( p0 O+ L% i, r" c' ULestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.8 z# n  U/ B' }+ H) {8 t9 ^
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4 W9 F; a) g% ^7 Y5 |5 `接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
1 P9 C0 S% }( G5 c话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。: Q9 @# Y  c! k
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）1 Q2 ~" p2 X/ p( M0 C7 X* K0 `
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）$ t  ]4 K( v7 i- N4 [7 _9 x
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）2 Z$ N; b0 Q4 n% u5 Q6 |
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
' a' }8 \# y  R1 @: fWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
) S1 j: _* d; C4 THolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
6 r$ h9 a# ?/ y. J1 dWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）8 q  Y; @# `7 d. Q# q; V
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
' e' [# t. f& T" zWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）3 G2 o7 K+ c& W" y( ?
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
+ A- j* p0 M  L（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）9 J( I5 B" v/ b# {# Z& E: J6 w1 V
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……