《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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2 j( W# b0 J8 f! X影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。5 p2 X8 P6 `6 m0 m  o6 q
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
( W; M2 I5 `" J. v/ j+ z) {Holmes: I just picked it up.3 \1 q; _* \6 R$ `& D1 @! I2 {, O
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）  ]$ A; f& ]) w0 w$ R0 M8 u
Holmes: Knew I forgot something./ ~2 r: h. p, ]
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
6 R4 I( C$ R0 S- C- jHolmes: You did.
1 R! ~# d  T+ ?/ w" R8 x8 Y: w（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）0 O, m& U3 z& ?; _6 w/ _
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
8 E; ?4 i( O2 r" l  IWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
7 ]. @+ S) o1 U2 t0 e) bHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。3 T7 X0 F) |* M/ F) [
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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8 U1 V" w6 z/ p5 F* F. O- Z6 }拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。( K- q6 j. o9 w* S9 P9 r
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
. M6 ^4 f7 G( s) T# q# Y* yWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）5 T" O9 S6 Q1 _4 K' [6 E4 E/ h* @* V
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& N* f- p9 M! ]0 j7 UHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。7 ]! }8 P' M, g# l$ t
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# j1 C* I' @8 _+ o. J" H" v! ~Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。- K, ~) f$ G( g9 g# q" p9 e
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?0 J7 n$ z9 C/ ?% f  \6 M2 f
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）* g1 V' _4 A/ N3 E! U. H
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。! J6 H  i1 P& N) g/ s5 H
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
3 v# E( c& L  B  ?  v' `3 ]Watson: Get that out of my face./ h8 c/ N2 \! Y' [
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.- I5 m- Z7 M- Y3 j, n! z. o2 k* I
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.8 _9 I) N  H/ X: x: Z, t9 t% L. b
路人警官Clarky上场。" S7 L: _7 q2 @  |
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
2 y; L# [$ Q% e5 _4 jHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）, r* t; b2 j* B7 _; r% k
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。6 r) U# n% ]! @
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
8 N3 @# R% N# T$ VHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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/ E: |: `8 O, jHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
. f# R* u& s7 W1 [% W% s8 C' gWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）  t+ j1 i. V8 o/ P" E
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
% v9 v' P, i/ z+ o" _+ cHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
5 D" o8 @' k. E1 m& ]) |! K  kBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…' p, L+ `: X$ s/ k
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）  F; L! E7 o& t7 U9 y& u# d
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。0 @9 |- W& U; s; b
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）& c9 J% n; b$ V  H2 m  c+ I, S
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
6 a) y6 x, l1 u( l+ v+ g; s: OHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。1 |6 I1 [$ I0 d. H) Q1 b7 |
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.' d% y( h( f' f  s
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% r  |! {( B) ]接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
5 ~: a2 a! z4 t2 B话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。, L, ^0 H* q" c# n( q. e; ?8 D2 z
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
6 c$ K& v4 O7 E; |Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）& D& n4 o1 {5 ~2 J
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）4 ^- |' f. [2 Z) O% R
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?0 n/ v* s; y' C# X( `% H+ }
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）" Q+ ?; ?; R8 e" p2 z, s( K; J
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）8 }7 p5 b* \; ^0 Q$ @  d' ^$ Y8 Z0 z
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
" g! o- x  w- |. V9 P) vHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
* O/ @! j6 \& y2 P1 v' y' Y# eWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
; p5 x$ U7 B; J) L: pMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
- \* ?, {. d3 _4 H7 k9 U（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）  H- @5 S; T: o
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……