《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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! A) ]2 f' r$ {4 ^! f9 D2 A# ^1 E影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。; l4 `# G" `8 w8 N3 ]
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）  H" O* Y, R( D0 o# M9 L9 G$ `: R
Holmes: I just picked it up.. N2 G! n& ~( u& C
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）# P0 u7 c, b9 Q2 ^
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
2 e0 a3 L" t/ U# P6 g7 b% Q; ZWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
2 B" W( {* k' C- N! h; hHolmes: You did.8 H1 P) ^* Y6 {/ c0 ^
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）# R/ D: W6 H) J; T6 v: E
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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2 `  w& G# \4 h3 \  U宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
7 F+ D% a5 |7 L9 @0 L. k& \; wWatson: Permission to enter the armory.) o; A/ N) s+ ?- }. }& L2 Z
Holmes: Granted.
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' O: ?: D! ]% @, z/ U晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
% E$ k8 a1 H$ P' ^5 ^- e% d7 YWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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. F5 K- ~; A- ~; q. d. X拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。/ v0 l- R, C7 ^. ~- }
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9 V: B, [& _0 F; C8 ^" zWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
4 d4 [+ K; Q( d& X! ^Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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9 L) ~$ _6 j7 o9 ~Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。& ^  B8 B' ~9 a/ o$ \2 [, I2 |
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
; f' Q3 P" M+ h6 f% {& D0 [4 MIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?' D" L' y4 w8 V
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
7 U* |$ _2 Y- q6 P3 {* E6 M+ C5 ZIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.8 j4 i* l9 m8 t9 P
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  W+ I7 t( D# e1 r: z6 r% B  ]) e9 nIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
  G- P0 Z/ g& a3 z5 l+ @Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
" V" ~( R5 T* N, N, I7 a& fWatson: Get that out of my face.  Q% n7 i' ?# X9 u) s& x
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
4 ], d8 B. c$ y, V5 X: \9 _Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
( s% p" [3 m# l. c$ N9 X2 D路人警官Clarky上场。
  |; U, [7 B2 A) dClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
* @9 S% m$ B  j5 \: y7 LHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）& F* @& B" p' M: t# N) A- F' z4 h) m
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
+ @; j4 R. q& ?' p; I& l/ o% HWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
& O. ]" @. @; D. sHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.- c2 w8 Q/ v+ ]
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$ c* m2 O+ t" e9 R8 J: L- m: v# ?0 c9 r" I墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
! H  j" n9 Y6 |' m（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
% T9 u  y" V% y, iHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.( i% w% l5 ?! z" x7 ^8 J8 K) ?6 i- D/ h
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
; q, {" h4 ^/ P! R/ ]5 aHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）' _! `3 N# f7 u8 v, k. B
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…1 s* ]3 Q% ~4 f, F3 i* X
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
2 E! k; W* R0 |+ U- ^' t死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
4 j$ ~# m5 W" t+ o' |  I0 jHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）7 u) ~* U7 x) Z$ J- u1 j* ?; G% f
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。' n  w8 K. p0 J
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）! F  G  c& F) P+ B  m
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  Y( s) c& M4 {$ I5 s警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
4 W6 k8 S3 Z; H/ `* Q+ V8 oLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.6 N( q6 C) z2 z; T# T
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  Y6 ^. ~' L2 o0 D  F5 X接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
( N. A9 ^& d4 ^4 f& c话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。0 V% O4 d4 _! H& P8 H
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
5 [/ p: g$ Z% Q* B: H& j/ Z( |. iWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
/ H  [# H. n& \$ n8 ^& mHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
* L, }  v6 M% }3 w  L: E2 ^Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?& F0 s7 W( z: q& z% I! W5 c
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
8 x" A" T5 N! j  L0 lHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）& W' n0 r- c' l% ^  ~
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
; f0 f% Q; {) nHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
8 f" n  H: f4 y, |Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）7 r( q- _" t) i* @+ @
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
' D+ H8 {5 M8 _（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）. i. Q$ M! s9 t
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# j3 `4 x% I* u8 f% _总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……