《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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( I; h! R/ L3 d3 G- X# f影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
9 ~# R; j% k- q3 f4 Y" yWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）, ?/ l* l2 D3 G- w' Y: q
Holmes: I just picked it up., r4 d0 h+ h" o2 U, R
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）$ |+ l1 p. Z' p8 q4 U/ Y
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
1 w! R( W2 e2 T/ t; |Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）! q2 I9 v8 _0 I( L
Holmes: You did.$ M2 s7 \; z3 W) W6 i: B9 f+ W
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
: z  T3 \6 t4 @: bHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.: k/ s7 f% W( t* M8 Q7 J( E
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, {# y4 F7 u7 _$ \/ e2 l8 Y; j宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。" N! {# ~5 t1 i& `4 N* h
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.* s2 s) `5 C$ d; D/ K
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。& H) u- ]2 n8 x
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）! u6 p& S1 I& g7 j9 x
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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- N& I5 @9 O( N! h) `Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
" P9 b# U4 `8 `) C2 vWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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  ?* D1 N+ h, L, r9 yBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。7 D% `( [7 ?& U. M, i5 U) X8 J8 X
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% R9 k, {* f8 `0 f- PIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。1 a) {& w3 L: g- W8 e
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）0 |6 v6 b5 Y( t
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
: G! r% g5 }' A8 \/ f: t5 c+ bHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）8 y* }! D* B0 j: g" U
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.; F7 V3 r( W6 T0 ^  w& U
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( `$ \% r$ T& k, ~$ |Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
& P* s/ a( e1 B( Z  [0 {. P3 y4 p2 V/ dHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）. Y! a# G0 l9 Y/ n" F
Watson: Get that out of my face.
( W# Z$ m7 ]& ^1 [/ v$ uHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.# L+ R1 B  v; |0 l( j2 [* C2 e" e
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
' _  f6 O) {- b1 S路人警官Clarky上场。5 Z& O$ v  b8 h
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.9 q# N8 c; y8 s6 w7 H" V1 k" `2 q
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）* P" w6 J% i& g% V! ]* [' T3 c
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。! j  n& z/ B: @, M7 D
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?9 h' E6 O* R9 f5 m0 H% l
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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* D# V- q2 T0 K$ G墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
0 g3 o" }1 ]* k1 ^! p( s4 _（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
! \4 ^# C5 T' m9 O  i8 s1 WHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely." q4 j1 Y$ \. a% a* B) L' c
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。% W$ s. l5 \7 j5 x+ [# y( ?
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）9 Q9 y" C8 Y% x: G# ]! ^- u# ^
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…3 Y( b; O- D) S) h2 X
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）$ w7 t5 b3 r' R  K; A* z
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。4 q* N; @) Y* o3 f% [
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）' }5 i& t/ j' g8 N
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。) O- ]! V+ x; j* Z
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
% n; o% u# C3 }5 R! f+ Q* ~1 l  MLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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6 n/ `  M) f9 Z. F, ~接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
3 ~9 `3 N) o' l3 V& y话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。6 E5 H% d9 z# U7 q( W$ C- q/ h
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）" f* i4 s; C# w* s
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）) W0 ^" R% Q) L0 X
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
) i! s, M- D9 y) X/ Y4 l$ NMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?0 s8 h7 l! ?1 Y6 [' p
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）+ s  o; Y2 z' e
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
9 n3 e3 `6 g: V$ q* ~. B, l9 aWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
/ p5 x8 G& t" ?5 z9 ]Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
( p8 t6 h0 \! Q/ ?5 hWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
$ i5 y- L, c  A2 g) oMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）; @) U7 U; \2 z
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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+ ^6 Y( L3 n% e4 a5 b' C总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……