《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。7 p# T! C" r2 v2 C" @+ H
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
; {0 w! t  Q' n( f  \7 d9 {9 y0 c/ YWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
7 D  m! e! n" P+ l/ i* k3 oHolmes: I just picked it up.9 c+ `8 s0 m( p- k" \2 C, O. k# D
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）5 L' v, _1 d) I5 i* z
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.$ @. X: P* l* e& n. p3 _: Q1 }
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）9 {! @5 a- s, ]0 \) }  L" U$ w
Holmes: You did.0 U; `8 m* A' \9 F% z
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）) W. B" n% C* f4 P! S
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all./ L5 Y# d( f- a' h9 k
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。8 [3 ~' R* v' [* P1 }- {
Watson: Permission to enter the armory." l5 O2 O; G- M, b- m4 F' a  n
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
9 w7 o8 j/ H4 _: d9 \/ xWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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4 k0 I; m: |& _( w% Q拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。: r- @0 Y  n- T
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。7 w! E. q9 l) z' }# f8 o
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。3 ?, u$ E0 ?# F, E9 |7 n& I9 o
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）6 b& T6 q, w* K8 B+ x& q
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
1 y* V6 d) c6 y. k* Z) Z7 mHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）# K: U& q) b( ~3 {
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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4 v' l' l* u! F5 t5 Q! g. oIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。, ]1 l3 F- @" n1 p& _
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）8 n3 V& n2 p4 L1 P3 W
Watson: Get that out of my face.
1 \3 i9 j) R, w- F; X# nHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
2 k) i+ n3 ^9 t& |9 [Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
: s$ j/ ~0 t5 N' N2 Q6 k  k) y路人警官Clarky上场。& v: l( G" s: x* p9 F
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
! @: m: w1 L& i7 G8 _2 L' dHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
% e$ o' T" x: ~得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
% X9 b2 e# ~" W. W, X: }Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?) M% h0 F$ b- x3 R$ ^+ P
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.5 O$ b6 O: Z( V, e
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% g  s9 S6 l+ x9 M5 C8 v6 H3 H  v1 C) F墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
# G! P/ V  @. S% H（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
2 A- P# ^0 Q/ J& A5 c* ?: ~Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.7 W; [- w" o6 Y0 G8 x- P7 {
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）/ o3 @# l8 A! K) S
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。6 g/ c$ V7 V; J/ |9 k& Y7 t# u
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）5 c. h0 P& A, p2 u( S
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
% b# J2 H# J3 a+ X! I# N! kWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）' b/ B1 y9 d/ W, A( }
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。+ f$ `8 N% g# a& g) k5 I% I
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
$ R% g" T; @& Q7 I+ c! ~5 ]后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
: C; ]5 y2 F( S/ Z9 PHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）$ p  s8 `$ ]) a/ G1 N" [4 X
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7 C$ n+ R! y$ p- i警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
8 O  f& R, ]+ a2 W8 B5 GLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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$ {& q) @" \$ |  g( @接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
; L8 D7 Q& U0 X' }话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
/ c5 w8 g$ J* c6 Z; t- uHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）( N+ U. t4 m" @& R! T9 p6 d
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
2 j) j0 q* a' l# C  Q# T: gHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）+ }$ W4 ^! f; D$ J/ l* X
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
  W9 g' q5 x. v2 m3 r, d) zWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）- d1 l4 M$ o8 W* U& n  ~% L  O
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
7 {- r2 S& c* bWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
1 Y2 |4 n1 u0 j( P/ |3 b: K7 E1 IHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）: u% R3 B2 c/ \2 k, l
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）# Q, F- F4 X# ?! Q
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）  T9 q' M+ t# V
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）* S# B1 Q+ V. O+ v; i2 G) f& t
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$ ^0 N" K/ a0 S总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……