《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。# j9 ?  w  z! `+ Z
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
) `9 N- O& S3 E+ W9 C& rWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）# F; W3 x# ^2 d: m) ]% F4 F
Holmes: I just picked it up.: G0 y! R2 _. C8 l4 H4 i
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）( j. Y; A9 e+ V
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.) F6 u+ M3 @/ L! K, ~6 n
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）1 [3 n5 K4 F6 H- j& B9 J( `1 |
Holmes: You did.
) t& Q8 C$ Y# U; o（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
( P( [/ [& j" O. PHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.) s0 V% n3 G/ e1 }/ w
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" q' H; U1 i/ ^2 G8 {, \宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
! }( x5 i; i3 d  I: H7 a6 kWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
1 K( C* {5 P( B/ v, \8 Z% p9 gHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
# t8 \, ]: Z7 P2 e/ AWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）$ h$ Q/ j# r8 V# i7 z% R% h
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3 N3 |  U5 @$ F8 G  E" K拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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0 B* g* x2 S6 s8 g  w8 oWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
1 y0 M1 }0 R( N. k* O( }Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。6 q0 k4 u- y# |) f3 o# k% W
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
" \: T& w( K- S2 k" a& O3 a7 j  PIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?( V0 f# L" I! Z. a% t6 i
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）# |, i+ _( A9 n$ u
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.9 t8 B6 g- D$ u! R  w+ _/ N
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
$ |4 O* m2 ]7 I0 H% V' y% ZHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
' v' Z! ^' M/ r+ v5 C( c$ pWatson: Get that out of my face.
7 D# p- u+ D) j2 @% E1 UHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.+ X1 o. m% B: C; e/ Q3 K# i
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face., Q+ }9 A: C+ e) W* [
路人警官Clarky上场。
* q: c! |: z2 D3 K% p- }" F  i) N. DClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
: X: Y/ q9 K: h, L( fHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
+ s/ N9 J  [5 `" g( O  s9 v得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
& q# X; ~& j, wWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?$ s0 ], x' S' H5 t% o. G9 s* E& G
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。9 |  y2 r' Y* ^. f
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）/ o: R- D" _2 m/ N+ @: Y- `
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.1 y- Q1 L/ c8 p' ~
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）: \7 r- J' i! z4 F+ y* ?2 o
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
" l2 |+ ]2 D4 p5 E1 u# Y- BHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
' ?! q! s; l: y2 }Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…3 i5 S8 ~( o6 V8 A
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）: H0 ]7 r0 g. L# n$ G+ K6 l
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。7 e2 |- U7 F4 z% l1 G6 d
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
' `; F* K6 U8 X- P后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
% `3 M) H( ^! @7 g7 Y0 o6 J* lHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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  o0 }  N$ L2 _" O$ `3 A警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
0 J' g9 q$ F+ t# R! RLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.2 z% y: |& ~. h! N9 M( _
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
7 @! q! b# }8 @. A) T* v话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。" w2 m, c$ Z- N
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）& o) ~" h, ~2 a4 S8 v
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）) a8 S6 O5 H2 ~
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
$ C/ q/ z9 Y2 N/ B/ a( fMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?! O) }7 V: K# O' a4 G
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）6 u1 Z: W% X9 G9 @5 i, l: ]1 s7 k
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）4 J8 s0 c* W* Q) f$ k/ v
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）& K2 k8 Y& a+ y) F" I6 e
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）5 {7 V, E, L8 x- [7 L
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）- z6 A5 D2 g0 P0 k9 `+ D
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）! K, ^0 M0 O# @* i# G
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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5 B2 M! x6 a, e+ G' m总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……