《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
. }$ \' ^: D& ]  H***********9 |4 i6 r* ~  t) t
1．0 l3 g$ v: ~& I7 ~( z% d! g$ m
影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。) E0 x: g# Z! A; g- i
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）* v6 `: ^! Y' @" z$ _0 G5 }
Holmes: I just picked it up.6 N7 \3 _9 x; G# B! D) Y( f
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）' W1 V+ v4 [; u: j& e& K# a# X
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
' s7 o3 @1 J$ r) B% Q2 ?Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）9 f+ ^7 E5 y. @8 P6 V
Holmes: You did.
3 i' S( h6 I  j2 n! w（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
* U. o  w, p6 u8 }  `, ?Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.8 B1 J# U, n/ B9 J: x. F
2．
8 W. M, j5 @' `) a宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。0 s- ~7 I) w1 w, M7 L7 [0 A
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.- Q" s" Y1 ^4 C; @+ `# y
Holmes: Granted.6 k9 [: T; Q% |7 H& U) e
3.
3 V+ k& [9 }/ H; Q- Y6 A晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
& ~) [. V+ D! C/ g' y$ T. LWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
: H" p# e9 ^7 R& G/ N+ ]2 ^) ~4．4 |  _3 z3 f/ j+ ~. x$ |$ G
拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。# w9 F* |  n1 g* n
5．
. D- D2 ^( \  ]4 E* y5 YWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
( Q% u" p" _' F) E3 j% g$ ^# H! BWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
" |8 k% \& C9 D8 B8 T9 W5 D9 O6．5 j( e) ~1 n# L8 m7 W5 i
Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。5 t1 m& L0 {$ Z0 `; X  r
7．7 Q( |( [* r2 V9 n
Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
+ X4 y4 Q+ }9 r2 W8．
# \8 M0 S3 |& @/ OIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
% p( g1 T9 o2 E1 q) \（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
4 N$ w9 d0 X# p+ Y' x$ g3 B! `Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?. X% t. k9 M3 {
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）( N! Z6 W8 e1 j( I0 b
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
& i. B- X- h) U' {# V# Z9．( b/ G, _: u2 G0 B7 x
Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。% d4 r0 q/ h' Y. i2 L
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
9 B( Y) L/ p! x/ nWatson: Get that out of my face.
7 M% y# x# ?2 w3 S# ~Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
, }- R: }2 Y3 nWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.! L1 |' I( Q3 e4 n6 s
路人警官Clarky上场。
/ D. |+ E; h9 G3 xClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
; l, k( Y7 ]; Q; H( ~  L( fHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）+ i( s) @* R/ _) T- G: A
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
2 L. A  ~+ k  p2 z! n  Y9 F, wWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
9 o, q6 T6 E' j* |, I+ CHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
. X, A! |; e5 |8 r! ]1 _10.* v  R6 x, z; O0 Z7 i/ B3 e# n/ ^/ w. A
墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。, w/ H. {/ w/ Z( Z
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
# C! L, @* }  u- p4 d! PHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.; `3 U% k1 \# D- V/ l
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
& I6 A) b# T7 ~11．
# K/ W% ~4 s4 z河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。% e5 L9 f' R& u; W
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）6 ]1 Q" M, j: w" m
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…& L0 w9 L3 Y" n0 I) k, g! P
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）$ Q% j2 t# u3 C
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
. c+ h4 v. }7 [. ^/ X+ J: DHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
8 P' X4 J( Q3 W& m后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。  P. x4 {' p8 H) A/ f
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
9 v* g' _- d/ U% m1 q0 z- T12．* u( T: H& X, A
警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
) c/ Y* e9 i8 j- v" T6 uLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.$ X; D3 @# L& P9 m6 f
13.6 [5 M4 Q4 F# r# W! _# h- |; B' S! Y
接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
+ Y8 _/ Q" r1 y6 f  e& {话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
3 @" \9 |1 s& p8 EHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）0 D9 x1 N9 C1 ?, O
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）8 G% i7 _( o. Z% y
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
" _# ?# F3 R$ ^  o& v- H/ l) z* PMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
: R: F% m/ J; U0 AWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
& O" @* Q: H1 N7 \0 HHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
7 v% `8 s% V, I+ Z! P' ?. rWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）; }$ k& ^. R, D% f8 `  b( }
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
4 y9 \, n8 Q# w( G* tWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）, Z  X2 W. Y: c, f3 F
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）- g  T0 `1 m7 f% A
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
; W' G' u0 N+ l0 ]***********+ o* b1 T- [  I4 C& ~
总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……