《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
( a& c. }0 h  N: l+ jWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
- K$ b6 [5 Y4 E5 u6 Q  QHolmes: I just picked it up.# Q: P. D) K$ ?( @* i, e
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
! @: X' |/ ?0 M* ?8 CHolmes: Knew I forgot something.6 z. Y# Y. A: F9 _% U" q; C4 n
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）  h; g1 x$ ?6 v! u" s
Holmes: You did.
8 B" q& H- r* R5 E' E+ z* O（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
, t0 g1 E; ~' \( L$ ~+ zHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
5 O9 H8 }; l/ B& m! z$ a! qWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
# n6 Q5 W1 q" T5 _Holmes: Granted.3 p8 q2 N+ o/ Y- v- ]
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& O6 \1 f7 O  q晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。, I1 H* P$ K* U
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）: `5 K0 M# I  b7 h2 I$ T
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。, A; R$ w8 k8 m9 y% ^3 \
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。+ b; f- n; m5 b. ~* p7 t1 @$ Y5 I2 N
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）$ R5 \5 C& z) b! h7 {2 g# i/ ?
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9 L) H( `9 r( ^9 {. QHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。0 y7 C$ A9 j) C* k' C  u
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。$ Y+ S( E( M9 J" p8 @/ f
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）1 {4 s; A6 W: R0 T, F7 E. U$ |
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
, {5 [0 M% e1 X# {0 O/ R8 pHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
+ ~. `6 Q! o* |6 O) Z! nIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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: E% `8 i2 _8 j9 JIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。/ F' k3 M% s0 U
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）9 `, V9 d. O- _4 |" E
Watson: Get that out of my face.
/ ~! N* A! R5 \. QHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.& d+ X9 O. i4 i# z$ U; p* h
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.. U$ K- L' K- z3 e- a  {9 r0 ?- m
路人警官Clarky上场。
5 Z. W8 M. ?; v! WClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
0 W% z8 R2 ^& C* jHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）6 M/ b. v! P) f6 v6 d, P7 n
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。  G4 F0 X! |* Q+ B: ~1 Z6 o8 d1 _
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
6 q0 k6 C, g2 EHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。& N  k1 w- ~0 ?! s
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）( f0 T, a* l0 p7 R" }
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.5 @0 S! D# ?6 E7 b% p+ b1 ?4 I9 R7 M& V
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。2 |6 i! o" ~4 w4 x2 ^; n, d
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
- A; s2 N: d) |- p( x" S: wBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…/ [# k! ^  q2 O- a# d
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）0 p' E) s/ T) }6 Y* C
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
) J, n6 ^1 D4 EHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）% a9 o0 q6 d3 x, p+ I
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
1 a! G/ E7 @. \( n3 @8 IHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）- [5 p* v" I: P, D6 D5 o, `  d
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。+ I4 ~$ f6 e9 E- {
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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2 G7 }; y" O. ^' i5 a2 e- w( w/ |接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。5 u4 k! z4 g8 Y% O% W" c: H, P) U" Y
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。$ y' m& u- y( f5 j) b# q+ X
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）3 N# e5 p. n$ t% w$ f# i
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）$ J- m5 ^, q  d4 H! l7 a/ ~& D
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
( C# u' n) }# t% l" }. ]5 |6 TMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?, u% {. ?$ m. ?; |
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
1 R9 |% \1 `) m5 N# OHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
1 z& _" s  K+ NWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
' E1 k  I1 j, f' EHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
1 [; ]' B& P  i' ^Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）7 c! {% y0 D2 z+ ]; S1 G; P* o
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）2 H  Z2 k3 b+ H* k! Q3 X% n
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）- O% t9 I% K" s6 r) }- P! Q5 p! C
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……