《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
' n1 s+ z- b! m1 e# _2 XWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
7 I- Y& O1 Q& d- gHolmes: I just picked it up.
- l2 t- N( I) a/ L, n6 Q+ o% FWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）7 @8 J' o( f% k3 ^
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.6 V1 Q4 Z! M+ N" d4 n& ?3 D
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
8 ~+ q9 ?& Q( oHolmes: You did.* m  A% n+ A9 l% I7 F
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
) c+ |9 f0 c" A. R8 v& E7 dHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。. M4 f4 F. c3 S/ X2 J  l
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
. V# m1 S& N2 d- R: b% A; xHolmes: Granted.
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7 k% M6 Y  q+ q  n晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
. W9 p5 J0 `) K$ z: `Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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: x: s3 p. y" d6 h6 J2 P拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。# {, y9 J3 t7 q4 M
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
7 o, P$ ~/ R# \' z% f% v- u/ `* y* |Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。$ w) z6 ?& @1 _% d. R- M, P& a
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7 \% m; L$ O  V' p0 E* }Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
4 Q/ F% h  c8 D6 P$ d$ P! pHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）3 a  H8 n8 n! j' y' C
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。; I, o6 D' F- K& X- [
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
9 O5 l8 ^6 @5 V/ eWatson: Get that out of my face.
. C: \, c3 V+ S. GHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.# F# [% \4 V! j* c. b9 I
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.! ~6 w- \, J# i  {
路人警官Clarky上场。
$ Z, g% E3 X; h; [5 @, n/ T; j8 nClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.4 q7 [2 O  ?3 z0 c) u2 |
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
  \: c- C* b/ e. r$ G得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
8 p- e1 @' L1 K- Q+ V8 _, pWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?; j2 a- c8 ?' I' c9 u) a
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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0 J. P3 k- }  E墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。3 {7 w3 ~, B. ]1 {* c; t- U6 y
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
1 q- M" ]$ b7 P; JHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.; |! ]1 A) x* h& ~) b7 U
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）0 H# s+ u  ?6 @: r  T$ k3 j& t
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
: C; Y9 i( \8 yHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）+ n5 E3 W$ ~7 d1 q
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…9 l! [  z- s! h
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）2 H7 k0 l. J) O
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
9 W6 s5 l; g/ D2 X- w4 A3 Q  qHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）1 @1 \7 E% L! z4 s1 i* N8 I) P
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
5 h( b- L4 D, a4 C, JHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）- y5 Q* E0 {: g6 E) c$ N
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。  r4 j& H% v& I
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
/ s9 a6 [- D. Q5 A- {% V话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
, P3 g* F: c/ U) \+ l1 `: tHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
! k' U7 k) W% ^& k* C. N! qWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
3 I, h3 T( {, r" X/ H/ K5 F0 IHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
  [( h7 u$ y7 v9 V' N* g4 x! fMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
1 X1 n; h1 ?: c( u# CWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）- ?$ C5 V- |/ t9 A' t' @
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
3 L2 L1 S* S: Q, |$ s/ \Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）6 L0 [& n8 W! l. J5 ]
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）% S: A" D  i; X+ L, N& k) a( I
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
3 p! N2 J4 s  D& `' ]* xMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）* k* J# f; f0 V
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）1 l6 A: _3 L# P7 R1 _, p  n2 E& m
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# x( s4 P1 ]4 |  m总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……