《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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: T; p$ Y' o7 N- w影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。& `- ^+ P7 W/ n" @
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）) m5 Y/ ?' o( {1 Z( d$ w% v- i
Holmes: I just picked it up.
7 _% `9 P$ G% s0 s; C, a4 |! q* hWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
5 C0 ]7 c" z4 Y2 E  J. ~Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
2 c; K1 `  D& [1 @6 bWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
# K1 H, s# J& n- m0 u3 P. vHolmes: You did.
8 s6 m( i( W, ?% t% A' M. E# E（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
( R  h) \$ X+ e% s7 d. lHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.5 N, p; {; O! Q8 H' I
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
  _8 [: Y% K" IWatson: Permission to enter the armory.- B" T: i0 L1 A3 _
Holmes: Granted.3 _  A8 H6 Q) {7 f8 ?& d& v
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2 _  R, \7 _2 o" b晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
5 H6 E0 e/ I2 B# s2 Z( PWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）7 @/ b+ @" p6 p8 L; A/ S
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! k+ P( D' G1 w- U  n! i; f; |0 u拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。& C8 e6 C9 E" i
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。$ d' s, L/ r% `5 U0 O5 r9 L5 ~
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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' P0 E' P& X( o- F3 m5 `% v: `Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。/ A( M* I) j; P9 l
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。, e1 z2 S; P; {
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+ F" t; }1 S+ _% i: oIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
$ J5 n5 l% f% z% ?) j9 C& s（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
! i7 E. _8 {+ \1 {Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
; J* ?! Y4 i7 I0 q: q7 Y4 q. rHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
0 K; x0 `' E2 y! kIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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! G- d# N' {6 a, m( ~+ L8 SIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
9 N+ W% x4 q4 h6 d/ v6 IHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）, l! d& S9 H/ b* _" u
Watson: Get that out of my face.
; k1 S- T  V" w0 }7 m( ^Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
/ N, O& p) {- _9 b/ X- fWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
6 V+ {; q9 `) h, X路人警官Clarky上场。3 t8 D5 C1 p% w$ v) r1 K5 X: t$ z
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
& d  u% `2 ]! v; F8 G: O, K4 SHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）, K5 H; p: J' `7 M- z7 p
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
; Y$ F1 y3 m  o  j# l0 RWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?  O9 R$ Z# Y7 O
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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' I: i$ ]- ?! R6 |墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。. q$ O; H5 O1 C$ }
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
/ q. j* ~+ ?# }0 n8 t( u0 ~# UHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
) d# z7 c- c$ P: `) G' O+ [, E8 XWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）7 q3 x) J: f+ t& Z2 O& J
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。* _+ k! D* V8 b! i1 _3 F$ G
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
  B. O+ t( R4 t! C  C/ D) GBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
6 N$ B! I- g! ~" r& |0 F. y% }. tWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）! x# v- O5 {/ ~6 \% ?
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
8 A! V- l3 q" R* N" eHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）) K: R4 A% C# b$ y3 X7 c9 X
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。. E" Q2 I, \2 k, @
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）1 I; z% c5 p/ {6 K( B) h
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。* X2 T$ H+ K8 P3 L
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。6 f. y' Q& {3 [: u. f
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
7 e& k8 ~# M- l1 VHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）( L4 ^2 A  i, ]5 j; D% c
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
5 ~% O' b' E+ JHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）8 h# v- ]4 z0 I, F, b+ i- v
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?2 a% n5 y) {7 M! ]/ S; c/ a- z
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
9 V; m( Z! b5 j8 QHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）/ @, V0 G  ?! _2 x, Q% G& z% d
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）+ a* S" {" s. O7 t' b
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
; r* P4 N- a% s6 L  I! e! R6 {Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
, D- z4 o" {  J, M2 xMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
0 c6 {# w+ ^. H! G8 p0 Y（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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# q6 F9 Q& z! A总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……