《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。8 X  ~/ W" B% ]3 j; T; K
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- x  D% S3 l+ |/ M9 u6 R' w0 ]: b. X影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
( S  a* i- u2 ?0 a! lWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
4 n( g' M! L- ~: c+ T( D% y, h; HHolmes: I just picked it up.
1 V4 F4 V" j/ M/ {- nWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
5 D3 Q' T4 ]4 }2 rHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
  H- }8 v8 V' W5 r3 z  h% W$ h5 D! GWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）! w7 C, {1 W  y
Holmes: You did.
+ k9 W0 h# f4 f, W' s3 o# T（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）6 N+ U& |, A+ J; S, [
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。( N3 l- m9 E. {. U- I# E
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
- G7 H+ B5 ~3 O+ L0 G9 [Holmes: Granted.. _& y0 g: L5 l  u6 m; p. }% N. U+ b
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。. e# |( L" L4 C# u9 F! n& Z
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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: ~4 U0 ]/ w6 e6 d拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。! J5 I/ g2 u9 |* c/ [, X. e
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。& a% w4 O, d" C- j* d) h8 {1 H; j
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" a0 I- K) [" c. J5 P/ YBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
8 S9 T8 z4 B" X7 \7 F（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
5 c8 J3 J! y& [/ c3 d1 CIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?/ _7 |8 v" w" X* U% t3 r/ U
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
) Y  m: y8 Q) L  h3 M4 a* cIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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5 i% H. }! j7 A( X6 ^6 [Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
- E" y# N+ l3 N! N- i+ i3 J+ yHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
$ C0 [& H! s6 A4 i3 ?4 JWatson: Get that out of my face.
8 k' E, ~( r1 F9 `6 G8 n2 f2 F* j& M" @Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
. C% V' |) I5 i4 T! ^Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
" g) d  M0 G7 B# S% J* }路人警官Clarky上场。7 }( S$ {5 ^4 ?0 a: l
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
# i1 T1 V  D& T7 Y7 h' }Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
9 e, S+ T9 `% v得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
" D& y( P5 }# f7 D2 E2 TWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?1 W+ O$ Y% W6 q
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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6 W- U  v. O/ {. I- E% n墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
4 [9 x; [+ F, T  V（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）$ f" r5 F. I* ]
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
' ?+ M% J) w( HWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。9 m) O3 M0 A5 o' ^: Q3 H
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
" G; _9 H% \6 Y( k. L$ bBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
- \' V% c. @7 ?  rWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
, c& i1 g6 w8 k( W7 n1 U. \死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
! q6 \, U! i% l' yHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）. l; x  ~" i; y: q; M/ c! V( m
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。+ R: T% S8 Z6 W; ~: T
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
4 E# K4 `+ ~( l+ R; HLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.6 i' J. K" h3 M& b
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3 }1 A* l1 Z% d6 i! ~接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
* V  E# C! {$ y! z& f话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。$ f. T( |: ?5 T$ Z" E
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
" E, A: J8 U* C1 A7 ]* fWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）9 i% f' M$ V8 m/ u" Z
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）) z5 D- y( h' c/ ?- N% q
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?" ~, H, v2 m9 A: V/ Y7 h2 R3 T
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）. G) ?% b2 Z9 O8 i" I' L' \0 z
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）( r& v. Y/ [# u( f% m
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）9 Q5 v8 [/ Z/ B! h1 }+ h2 C
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
' N3 ~4 ^$ @3 s1 s# NWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
( h0 R7 N9 j0 q, C4 Z8 ?# K! oMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）3 P- {+ x  p# d  \9 O# M
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……