《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。* i8 t' w/ x* C  ]' z
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
" s8 C: Z7 U" U5 L* JWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
& E# h  @' Y  o& mHolmes: I just picked it up.
- J% `; [  q5 B) v2 {! d! a) rWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
8 d4 `0 ?1 ?, o7 CHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
0 @9 o1 r1 ^  r, D* ]0 xWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
7 i) X% W0 N& ~4 hHolmes: You did.
! F1 j* @1 p  U% g* X- o: p（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）* ~8 K. k  v% P0 A/ H  I  ^
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.  p' u9 V9 N: l# y5 {1 `( k
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& i6 V9 Y8 D5 i7 u5 P宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
7 g: K, Z* A/ K: _; u2 `Watson: Permission to enter the armory.: s& k/ g9 _: Y0 b
Holmes: Granted.: r3 H" ]2 r1 z0 ?7 Y
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7 u5 p8 @# |0 ^* J晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
4 `7 h4 {9 L& r. F% A3 H3 }3 ZWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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$ j$ E/ A9 ~+ e( Z拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。  V, h3 ^$ g0 g+ p6 J. W
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. }% D: C6 g, ?8 g( ]: L6 ^, jWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。4 c0 F3 l  ~0 ^& ~
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）0 N6 j9 _2 Z% {' \( |8 A0 `
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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7 ^9 A8 C7 W/ `* R- T6 i- NBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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( n  p  d$ y) w! [* r2 S9 IIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。/ Z. I" R& @% C
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
4 G. ^" C5 p; f' t/ z3 k, YIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
( ]' k" B' a  ~& t. BHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）5 J5 r( Z. O  m7 V1 b
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.+ f" y* h- X7 w! k7 [( u8 O
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
5 l, ?- {# [; w+ VHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
, ?6 @4 b1 P, PWatson: Get that out of my face.2 ?$ c% A" O* {6 m9 k( c: ~
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.' [6 X4 @# |) Z
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
& H# t/ }' ~+ p) s路人警官Clarky上场。" d1 \- a) B4 r- z: w" O9 n# m
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.% @# p+ G; t7 _! @  L; `
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）& v, N, Y: Z! |
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
! s. P6 F" {1 X6 G' ]+ ?; k8 s% ~Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
/ j: q- o* A3 p8 I/ sHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.$ B3 [: {. l5 C( }6 j7 W
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
4 E! @+ M  q% u  J* D! x（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）- _. f7 b  ]; a' D2 @
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
$ d- q% G' \# C7 |% C) x. ?Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）7 ^/ J3 v- L2 V  E, X. B( u. f% P
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2 d( b% I, G8 M! R8 Q河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
8 @" |" i* p) Z- ~- F* JHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）  C* x6 K1 l& C4 v& t
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
% i) `% W, }/ J/ T+ O$ mWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）' x8 C8 A5 }) I( W
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。+ b$ x, y7 @* b9 v# p% m% i
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
% g5 y* q. W. R, ?' n0 C1 o; g% Q' U后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。  _" J$ [) L# S, E5 X
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）# g3 V% d( C5 K2 v8 L
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
  D5 ~7 c. O; O1 U+ T8 ELestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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0 o0 d  s# p7 `1 t% O2 T接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。0 s9 x. h/ v3 H  V0 D% U8 E/ h
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
) C: k" u8 v1 W' f1 {+ BHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
9 d3 }: i* K: u; `# V/ @1 [1 AWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）9 Z) q7 r8 W2 m& z6 \' M
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
. w( r: E; O' M3 ^6 M6 \" i6 xMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?- I8 t1 B4 z- U
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
, i# D+ O: T4 h2 r* W1 QHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）  i3 W4 g  _8 g3 Y
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）1 A/ w; Y3 l7 J2 ^9 F4 q! V: i
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
; b) c3 Q- |0 n( d" SWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）! ?1 c+ a/ q. ?4 ]8 ], W: E
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）3 U. C  Z# N: x1 ], M8 i: A
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）/ G2 Z0 Z& P2 u" ]
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3 j( ]6 a' X# d: t总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……