《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
) R2 O; B' z2 B* w7 _) h8 cWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）( t4 A+ n, v( c% i! L, k
Holmes: I just picked it up.
1 k2 w3 O- p- o3 F; O: Y0 d$ gWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）' r* u* n/ I0 u7 K( m9 Q2 J
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
% J3 a# T- _- v1 i/ y4 \( PWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
$ s4 Q  x7 R, y4 @4 ^Holmes: You did.
# Z( X+ ]$ N% n3 A  ~$ }（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
9 o: i6 i5 W% T" o. ~Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。% R# V- c7 |& u% u2 n
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.0 X% W. p2 O8 i$ t. w0 x! H
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。+ i+ j9 z# ^/ h) t* p
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。8 Q" p" J# P; h2 c
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! w5 m' P) q+ N3 Y' d, BWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。$ }8 K$ p0 ^" _7 T! ]- N$ D
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。0 o( Q4 q, U8 q6 Q) c' s5 K+ n( G
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1 ^, ]2 T1 I- G- I" b- sIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。& |- R. R+ p4 o: H, e
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）* r( u5 N. s$ N1 z, G
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?  ~5 X0 B2 [) }; I$ J" x$ P
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）" G" K8 T! U' `5 J( P
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope./ m! Y. b+ U( O
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6 J$ s, ]! c8 ~0 fIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。2 ~: b; Y0 N$ j# t+ ~. d- e
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）& B. A4 `, W  U7 H& K
Watson: Get that out of my face.; i& X7 [: c: v; w: z5 q6 R7 z
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
% t. O7 |, |" N' z+ D- q- gWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
$ N8 m4 Z+ ~3 K路人警官Clarky上场。6 }" b" j, w6 B# e; s
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
9 ?9 D# @4 b5 d3 S' g" f! Z, BHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
2 H( @) ?4 X' l9 S5 k2 Z得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
) S! M' X3 |  f4 i4 k' ~  C3 wWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?" {. I6 O7 ~! ?, [6 r
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.& \1 A" k4 J+ D2 l
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
/ K1 i2 Q: ~/ X. ^, x6 v1 P（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）, `1 {: J3 V+ h0 r( W
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
+ o/ v2 v2 t5 a9 a0 n+ _) [Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）$ s/ D3 M  C0 _: S4 f2 L8 H2 e- w
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
: c4 J3 G3 n0 x  k2 V- qHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
7 P+ e1 c6 c( TBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…( [! f4 L2 }- ?3 I
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）/ ~  d  Y/ a+ Z$ s' l
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。7 e$ q1 T: g8 f' D' Q; a
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
7 Y* A: c- ]1 Q2 t后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。: F- B3 Y- P7 n4 U$ X+ Y
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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6 C" f' f  C/ ]) N4 ^警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。2 s4 l, y4 D3 d  `8 ?
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.+ n+ D6 W3 }/ A- A  S9 F
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. R: ^6 O& J$ f接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
1 Y; [; J- U; r) C. q4 y话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
8 m+ V6 X# E; ^& {8 C4 LHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）! I5 l9 ^$ L. N
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）7 N) o: E" Y( P8 s. R( v
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
1 C+ M# y4 |3 h1 B; fMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
9 U4 i  |3 Z0 k, F6 \$ sWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）, c9 i' x. [5 n+ Q5 {! X' d
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
; y  ]* E4 i- p9 ?Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
4 V( V3 A5 u) v$ Y, KHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）0 s! ?" m- U3 W) F: k
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）9 ]8 T& c# Y" V6 h; S
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）& v- ]) i, Q* ^0 Q/ R9 H8 `3 e
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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; ^) L( }" i3 {  a总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……