《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。5 ]) V8 H! V2 e- D
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" F+ }/ i' C+ D" a影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
$ z5 z9 p! v9 d, u0 GWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
1 u: P& \8 [3 ?% hHolmes: I just picked it up.
: g$ {) \& m- r- Q6 J& H& I$ `  zWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
4 ^% a' ]# K* D3 H2 N3 y  z4 [Holmes: Knew I forgot something.3 c9 D3 m# P& U" J- d7 ^$ l
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）  y0 b) a: N4 \8 d: w# b( B- K( j
Holmes: You did.0 m; K% f0 y/ ~$ C$ W* t3 M
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）. G8 |% \% D) K8 `! V
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
# l3 [' d/ E4 \+ S2 s- O% sWatson: Permission to enter the armory.! b9 X: U5 L' ^/ h4 {
Holmes: Granted.7 N, @! M. q9 S) T1 b
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+ K; ]( w3 b& G晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
0 h& j  d! d* U* rWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）, i+ v7 e9 {) W
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。3 t# N9 l$ {9 l0 G. l. y: E  T- E
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）/ y6 b( L5 b1 y3 ~+ y; N  e
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' E& `' ]5 B: u' U) N# qHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。! k! ]* k6 S& b- ~7 f6 a* D
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。/ z; B3 C% Q4 E1 Y3 P
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）3 u% g2 T8 s8 R7 u  N5 N
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?+ y% @) I* v# K  m- e+ Z! X
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
* {2 i& [, }6 w: uIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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& n$ d! J  |* N5 E- ?% |) t% J8 HIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
9 }" ~/ z; c' v  Z, D5 L( BHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
" z& j; w! |& k0 P3 `Watson: Get that out of my face.
6 j8 V/ W" R. W# pHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
; M, F+ R1 H& |' ]/ }Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
# q4 i1 l4 C/ o' u. K9 k$ y路人警官Clarky上场。
/ V4 y$ u& N% d3 c+ z, @5 FClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
0 O/ ]* }6 i- G2 Y. cHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
3 V  x5 A6 G+ U5 q. H得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
6 U7 O; B3 U" W3 G+ kWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
! R# ?) K2 R) f, i: ]" RHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。* m+ ~9 A. Z5 }0 o( L) C
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）: c6 `4 [$ C& A4 F$ L
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
# \6 @: N0 ^4 \* }+ j9 U3 HWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）3 E9 A2 q$ l; O; P9 `  `" }
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。6 A1 n5 y- D& B, c
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）7 y  v: F* ?1 ]" L
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
, k* \3 K1 V* K' [  d$ n' F! B. ^Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）: V* t4 g5 x0 ]- {4 F% H  m
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
& P+ W  }+ Q& i2 yHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
% Z" A6 o& p( e3 e- b1 A+ ~后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。, ?  |5 T  p) `8 j  ~! D/ }
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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* @& E! f9 ]5 M0 ~! M1 P3 x警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。% P% g8 U5 S4 Z% @3 G( g
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.) W4 J- G8 o+ r5 \, O
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0 ^9 l. m8 a5 E# @5 k9 c7 x+ ]接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。; F& A, v( x5 }& |
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。8 `: |2 U4 B& i: t: m. ?, B
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）/ y$ N! _$ K$ X; Q. ~, R/ c' M  g, T
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）8 t& M7 f0 ]* g1 m  ~& D
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）6 e* g* Q% j6 |7 W: K; {8 t  {  }* M# G$ ?
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?0 @. ?( E0 w* l5 N
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
+ Q$ J4 ^9 E' q% E) p  THolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）0 R1 t& u7 h) {' o8 {; L; A3 C( J! ]
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）, v  {" L" S2 e1 z& c+ F7 X' ]5 h0 v+ M
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
0 D5 F; s7 E6 F2 Z. I6 F* FWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
9 q6 Z8 T. O: }& }0 u+ n' rMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
' L' f4 m" k% L+ A. K（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）5 a; z  {& s& w
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……