《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
9 `+ N2 B# k+ f- [8 BWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
+ k& H. ^5 r9 ^3 J8 }/ AHolmes: I just picked it up.
3 ]; D& r# ^; h( X3 A1 G2 E" N& nWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）' f) g, Q0 v, K0 f( H& u: h
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.% v* p9 J1 x: G* @
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）% @( u2 D, R, ?- }& u
Holmes: You did.+ k+ O: e: ~, K& @5 ]; ?
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
& e2 V: v& H! I( o4 ZHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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$ f/ S: h. H4 Q- i( `宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
" W' ?$ h; M, v# R) YWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
8 L, F1 y: F6 y+ @4 s: z7 s! ?Holmes: Granted.8 ]" s, z% L: B. h! d- _' u2 t/ I' _
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
& d! L! _4 ~& m4 K* g; P* ZWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）% _* f# g: @# `0 l: g
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6 n: Y7 f& q# {5 h8 _$ Z& e; v拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。7 s  X7 G( Y9 G8 J% i! q
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* \4 O8 O) `: |Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。6 ]  y$ A% n: g: I' z, p
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）% M3 [  r$ ?. e5 J- d
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* m5 C0 V7 E1 _" z( J/ n" d* qHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。* r# c0 o- v3 }" i/ F
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# E+ S; t1 m# ^+ p% Z0 g7 R+ yBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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" A2 @( l0 V3 L- O& |( n/ g% Y( kIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。5 k, T5 U5 w; T' l' a
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）! c1 l: _' z  @
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
( q; E& _7 Y% a4 S! LHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
# K* ^4 ?+ r+ Y3 `Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
8 W2 t( k* @8 _5 g9 ?, k. f; k+ p( @8 IHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）& u* r( w' f4 d
Watson: Get that out of my face.
+ l8 f! r& P0 m( B2 k4 N# QHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
" \! r3 u2 H6 n- l/ m1 l1 GWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.; z: b  F' e  M; h- ?" w" O
路人警官Clarky上场。
( q' z# H& @% {# N% UClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
. X: R* d7 b' r2 ]$ Y# I! wHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
7 |* L  |5 d/ m# Y% j+ J得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
  M: z7 G4 m" E$ N0 b7 f( }Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
) h! C' n. S# ]' `Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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1 C  e7 {0 ^  H" F0 H3 F墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。3 }# r( l; t, m
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
/ B, E, S- ]! _Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.! X. \4 d$ ]( Q4 q, D
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）$ W, ~! Q9 l/ S6 x: A
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。. _( _6 }& v$ i: O! a: r& V
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）6 N, O- c" R" c8 u4 T! E9 w1 m# g" y
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
2 m0 j: ~" ^" c7 v, `: E' iWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）3 h5 ?# k  g  ^
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。$ a. W6 y7 e' W: B$ p( y; O% L
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
( o4 N- e+ R1 B4 C3 Y0 a3 L# F后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
  }! v! \+ W6 B9 g; T* YHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）9 q$ J, `+ |% \2 H5 m
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
- o- y# X; H: zLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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) y2 X& ~& ?: G接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
% M+ A% {( |- u9 e, m话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
( ]0 `( Z4 v- K% Y, LHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）" g8 q# ]6 e' e/ c. Y# H( \$ i: R
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
. X! P, M. c& wHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
! z  d# p0 }# Q1 s" d. ]Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
4 Q$ E8 f9 P6 `/ A. i; p; f4 B2 ZWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
4 F. x- y% o! ~& T/ [$ RHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）' ?5 J# q/ D; t8 e9 [6 B) A# h
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
- V  N' {4 l- N, l, ]5 F6 eHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）  U0 ^. ^" X- w9 L2 y1 U( M8 k
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）) S+ y+ S" d2 K* A: ^. D
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
9 [, V6 c- T; X- }* ?' @; {+ Q" H" K; ^（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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9 Y! D: L" `' m% N. J) [( r) V总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……