《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。+ U5 |$ |# f& q5 B7 V
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
) G/ P4 S% \( }- Z+ O1 g( G; HWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）5 d# V. G. v2 m  N3 T% O
Holmes: I just picked it up.
: q+ G+ f/ t1 Z+ i: k$ M* Q8 dWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
4 u9 X. [$ X6 W" ]7 v1 U8 wHolmes: Knew I forgot something.3 Z8 s. x/ q1 a: H4 D/ b
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
4 A0 t: H1 m$ A  Z! n: DHolmes: You did.
3 G7 x# \* G( e+ ]（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）- w1 n% ^& ^: R4 |: x* I
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.& T$ t5 u% O. v3 C
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。/ T# A% Z: M9 ~* P
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.( X& n. q4 e" Z' _! X# U
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。0 W7 I& ^6 @4 @. d# r
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
3 {7 S  H$ U  v4 a3 yWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）, L# i: N1 ~# _: N- g
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) X( s+ F4 R" J0 E1 B" ZHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。; `: t# `. E! d5 S# D/ }! ^
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。0 ]% |% U" f  i5 Y+ u/ b  l
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
2 R: x' _3 k& {$ R4 WIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?! b7 }- ]! D: p: w: p
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
( P/ N9 L/ ~* w. L* R+ ~/ C- sIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。& c' l5 w) a3 v/ _- S
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）+ g. H# ~% X/ P, u
Watson: Get that out of my face.
0 V6 X2 s; a# E6 CHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.3 u2 K7 d) Y+ u- R8 w6 G
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
& V* R, Y) D. M路人警官Clarky上场。2 B; a6 z7 B6 v: T3 [6 [3 ^; p! q: g
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
, Y0 ?8 ]/ W- g5 DHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
, a' M; ^/ F" y得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。% y7 M3 I1 y9 d* v
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?" v' B7 o8 r7 a2 u0 C: F& g- j$ E- v
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.% Q5 u! _/ z* a% ^6 ?1 t/ q1 m* J
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  H$ b# k! W5 X$ \6 _/ D墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。/ @' H1 r% R  B/ r, l0 i
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）( ?7 p  l7 z3 N0 @
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.8 Z4 a& }3 w9 h2 k( M
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。: `# w$ W& E5 H/ d
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
/ |0 O' L# m& [0 n! J/ Z3 `Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…2 ?4 R& f  C2 i3 D& j, q) G
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）2 D% E0 b$ x( Y. P9 c/ U0 `0 c' H7 _
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
  N' h! z1 S4 Q6 n0 v" |Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）& d; `! Q& W! i  s
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。$ t6 h5 I  ^9 _: l4 U
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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; F5 h0 W8 Q& N6 |, @4 d8 W警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。. f1 E0 ~$ M/ M3 P; m
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.9 N" ^5 J4 i; c# n# ~/ g
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。+ U, [* _: C) H2 a9 D; J
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。% d" U) N. J- ^& X
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）. }, x9 H& a+ r- h# X
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
' |; X# e: ~4 o0 T7 o1 _Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）" E& S2 f2 \* |
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?) i- W" n9 [7 B: q' p
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
  l" F9 h& Y/ l# [) P% q+ e! KHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
% _: _( R: @: T$ Q  GWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）! Q. g7 C, W! d2 \
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
0 R- Z; \2 ^  H; {& T8 ?4 eWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
! B' U# Z6 M% u6 h. z3 YMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
, Q$ \/ G0 X4 d0 E; L  [5 g. R（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）; g6 b' c( K' T; C6 A  U
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……