《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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7 |+ L. D8 s2 b9 X影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。) }/ W- J$ f0 w: h5 a
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
& Q- `, }# c! K8 }, PHolmes: I just picked it up.5 y& }0 b- C6 F  n  H' o/ Y. Z
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）- F; d9 i* W4 g1 \5 C3 t9 b- N
Holmes: Knew I forgot something." K/ C8 `$ r, s  }- O0 M& a0 A/ j
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
1 O- i0 H( q( l  }: G# kHolmes: You did.
  S. C' w' q/ E. |) V（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）. n, D7 h2 b' S/ L& o* p5 Q+ \7 E
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.2 `2 L, X* D4 u9 L, c7 [! ]# I- _
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! v4 J4 r, d8 y( h6 P宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
; G+ M2 T& n. Z* \# N, kWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
7 c  g. V' d; l# ~Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。3 R5 [6 Z% ^. s) t+ A6 L
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
* j" j7 u/ o3 m6 h# uWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）4 f% Z; M& z* i8 ?  q
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, g/ s( \* H0 |Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。" \8 F! c1 ]8 l  c' a* d+ ?
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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% o7 N4 |  l/ U. x0 SIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。: V4 M& z( I; w7 ?$ H3 G
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
4 l* p# Q; ~9 i' FIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
& i8 @) X% u8 i6 f) O2 s& NHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）4 K6 M! W  O' y& [$ q
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.6 y! M3 I( O0 J6 ?' H- d) K7 \
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。" t2 |# G+ M' m* `
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）2 O2 ]0 K. W8 F7 x2 X- T
Watson: Get that out of my face.2 c; z3 X2 [5 k# K" B* S% f
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand./ Y! `% f# Z( q5 j
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
) D7 X: H5 v$ O$ a" \$ L, g路人警官Clarky上场。
8 L# [6 {0 m! }8 ^; Q) T/ i; f# zClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.+ m' r+ p: j9 {4 M
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）0 `* x& _5 B2 @2 i- t
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。8 q5 r& M6 a! t4 T  C$ x% ^; K/ a: P
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?7 b% G% f  S( z! i
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.8 w* Q% F: m) e) a5 F
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
) u! @* ]/ w  `( ?7 _, Q（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）% H( e9 L7 O* M. O; n
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
; d' \# d/ y+ a. W; S$ n; kWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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' B1 j+ q6 d6 |2 J河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。: K3 y' j0 ]% ]
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）/ r/ l2 t  K+ C1 P# K
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…" K" R1 C" v0 y1 L3 L2 W+ v% ^7 o
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
# \5 G% d# b; w+ b! w6 R7 k死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。( `; ?  F) v4 A3 h
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
1 |0 v, G! V' ?2 U4 m后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。% s& X; P5 X+ @& |3 P* b) S1 b/ f
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）8 F9 F) N( C; N; M, Z/ E
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。0 T. R8 ?$ q5 F9 h* E) K0 X4 B
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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: ~) ~3 s2 ^: t$ r. b/ j接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。2 v/ e3 S9 P3 E; I# c* g
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
4 [& d. ^" s% ^, U% Y1 PHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
" L6 L1 |7 y" d% ?+ VWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
% q- b/ t3 q+ u6 }  i% yHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
+ ^/ a# M7 J8 t, V: T) }Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?/ w7 ?9 t) B, J
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）9 w9 j6 J' B+ S2 S, {; d
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）: m$ d% T9 X/ b! Y& l- I# x
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
( v8 u6 t" c) P0 OHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
6 ^3 V+ s) _. L: }6 k# r. YWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
- X6 z# c8 a8 {  gMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
% b9 f( h0 s) n. `（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）1 j' @) E' l4 E3 L5 ?
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……