 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
# J7 K1 D/ L: i( e' T# hWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
8 _7 C, d H) h' V! xHolmes: I just picked it up. V# W7 K) }) v" y. g" o
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) % E- X" G8 U" u6 {4 g3 g+ v
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.% Z+ {$ Y# c+ [' f% T" `
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) ' e3 ^4 v h1 }6 E
Holmes: You did. X# l' R( \7 K R4 p
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) 6 j2 y R9 M$ L1 v% o
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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! t$ I# i& ^, N/ Y宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 % w. Y; K' s [5 a) R% D6 y- m8 R
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
0 Q1 u# e/ \* X. ^7 |( vHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
6 E) Q; t$ j3 W- v$ B3 P zWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) . A9 Q, e; C( W- s3 @' \
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. a, E* _7 Y7 T' c) l& r拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 ) ~9 \% {5 d% u8 T
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
( D; ^+ m& s6 U+ C0 b5 _Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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' e B3 ^/ B7 H X" M) Y) O( XBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 # w( R) f4 q. `6 j4 H& u
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
2 ~& ?: X* r& {( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) - H) d6 x. r0 @7 V4 L( r
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
0 H9 ]. h+ s! Z% W/ I) t& pHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
# E1 w4 a' Q% e* @Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 - U" T j! k4 a: ]" N
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
/ b0 t4 d$ d8 R: r5 TWatson: Get that out of my face.- `! l7 u; e! y/ u7 u/ e
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.8 p8 O4 P% C7 [7 x2 y* }9 q+ p
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.0 L1 ]" e( `3 N& r1 j* k( S" v
路人警官 Clarky上场。 2 T8 n) F7 e* h0 p% g
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
* x( @9 B( n5 ]1 P" z; _+ p; M' yHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
* h+ [: u; \5 h. ?得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 ! u# ^/ R- N+ }7 C
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?/ U2 \9 m/ z6 X. Q* q. F
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 : U9 Z9 z! J$ X( w7 w9 Y
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) + @2 n: }! l/ [# E5 Y0 \
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
W [5 c3 H' M. e4 YWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) ' N5 B6 H& [" ?9 M- f; v3 K" R
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/ G4 k6 m5 p! {# `" l L2 ^- f1 R- r河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
' k9 K% a* O7 d, F- X6 NHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
. Q& j" ?' P2 z' |- tBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…* j: y- L# v! x) i- ~& }, b
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
: d- P/ n6 q, I6 l4 {死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
7 i/ T: H1 u# L) @; d1 D yHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) 1 P, Y5 ~$ F. H5 i
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
0 J. b6 h& b( U) c; R1 w8 o3 eHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 1 d2 \, f+ |- q C
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 . D! _& g2 i. a& o) x) B7 ~* ^
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.9 p: Y3 Y% i8 M" }' F2 ~( ?
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( u" L7 Y# a; k接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 O( T* z9 n( S/ S0 N
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
7 L# B/ P5 o* [" x: j5 y* sHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
a. J3 @. r' P2 W2 VWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 4 K+ J% _6 @7 ^/ d2 j5 I: u+ t+ o
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 7 G4 c' c2 u" m7 C J3 z
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?* R8 S: O7 e' n. S7 Y% C9 `$ Y
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) % d' B; e$ @2 p8 O2 |+ y! [8 v
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) ! A+ M6 ~% ]' _1 o/ y4 J
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) # `8 M2 A8 z* j: W s3 Z" E8 ~6 ~
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
* W E" l8 O( t' s( |: \: _Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) ( E. u8 s( k" ^4 u: u. w
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) 5 a8 q# B. Y) i( p; w) N
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) , q7 ]! B# S u: s/ J
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2 a% p9 Z% M, I. ?9 L总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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