《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。+ E0 ]. c$ A/ f4 N2 R6 J
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
: R0 ^3 p* h9 [8 oHolmes: I just picked it up.
* m4 N9 f+ Y' G' v  aWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）3 r& g0 U- }- H
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.) m! B2 w8 c& J2 \* u% ?8 i  c
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
6 \7 p" G/ ~% ?3 x/ h. UHolmes: You did.
; p! A" M6 l8 r9 n（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）# \2 X( G/ D5 ]% x1 V
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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# c& u, D4 b0 d4 O, K宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。$ e  N  C& N# R
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.& S0 [$ g3 V! O- b- N1 h
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。3 W! ?0 V' Q* C% c# Y! A  i
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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: w) U8 q5 V0 d2 c7 g" c拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。2 P7 r5 b, O9 v4 p- V
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）, E, d9 ~5 W2 j
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7 J. N" k2 S9 UHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。6 ]. v8 j- g, ~4 ?1 D
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
; m7 l9 s# G, F' e$ m1 ~* OHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）+ f$ `- Q+ r( y. J0 I, f( _
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.* }: O, }5 f! h& j5 X* r1 d
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
; w/ @3 B! C+ gHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
! V$ Q# m1 d9 Y- ^: H4 _! ~( oWatson: Get that out of my face.3 P) U, O6 h; A1 q5 s0 U+ F& [
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
* H; z( h* A: V  _1 s6 DWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
8 a3 t2 o( P" \" y9 j& V) z路人警官Clarky上场。# k# x! c& T+ u
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.' s- b) B4 E* y2 P8 K5 A, ^
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
0 Q% a3 J8 G, K得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
4 w7 {1 ]' L/ B5 X, }- l- L( Q7 dWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?( p8 ?" C2 v7 D: [1 L, e. N' X
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.. G# P2 i+ s8 A) l0 k
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+ j) c5 h! [1 Q: _/ f墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。1 X5 F1 x0 a" m: ]% a
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Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.$ h9 m4 P  v8 H* V; [
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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* r! A! `5 Q/ U' {( l, y" O河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。) T& l8 m# z8 O
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）' U3 A2 ?8 h- @* `6 I4 L
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…' x- p' J; ^% N: v2 o- T" c, S
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）2 ]2 y) n6 F! U6 o
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。! B! f' u" d( Z, E% C
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）5 h6 D1 g* f4 c
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。3 Y) P1 W# X% f9 l
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）% J% X+ M% f5 _) q2 C; g: X
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7 z+ m/ I; J9 ^2 A1 h警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
# s$ }3 ?% z4 bLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.. b+ d9 e2 X* Q, w
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。: r1 f# E" q! u9 g; }3 c  D) t
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。+ C7 t3 }1 H' w: p9 Z
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
: R. a8 u! y/ x6 O0 uWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
% i) p* k; |+ u: \% NHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）6 K$ d5 Z( V) |+ O: j% H
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
5 A9 T0 s4 e) K% h  ~) D. V# EWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
# D4 S( Y2 }  {. G0 B- C* Z3 U9 hHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）8 J0 p$ b* H+ B  s8 o( h( n
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
- r& A1 C. X. W3 k# ~; s1 `Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
* f. H5 ?4 |0 ], X- [, R4 G) T( pWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）8 o  G& S1 v( K1 Q; M7 `( P2 B
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）" V: |8 h0 A* o4 w* L+ M, s
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……