《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。+ w. s' i1 {4 X4 Y5 Y
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
' t) o4 ?; x3 a) C6 B' J+ _8 J$ ^) rWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）9 P" _$ Q" S; e, o  f
Holmes: I just picked it up.
, [" O- A$ d7 m8 A1 x) j  bWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）. b: S0 z) e( C
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.$ C  b: N) H7 z
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
: N; R! E( S2 A+ t4 FHolmes: You did.
9 E& l: t+ u/ F  @* f（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）) E: M# m: j) s- Y5 n5 N
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.7 P2 ]' }+ T9 O) u( C+ v
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3 x: @# K- g2 _( T0 m! N宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
4 r2 H; a! ~. S9 b8 J) y  [: fWatson: Permission to enter the armory." V, d4 ?1 K% h4 p/ q
Holmes: Granted.* p( Z6 K8 U, l. i$ L8 y* P
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, b3 u# n. N) j( V0 g晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。  i3 J4 |- x1 g2 o6 V4 e5 H. E) R
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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! g2 z$ X8 ~2 {, J/ ?4 e3 J拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。; H5 W0 f1 f9 Q
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）: T; K; {0 }  O7 c# k- T; k* e
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$ M0 y1 P& R4 w+ }& v; u; Q+ NHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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6 _$ M# k+ f6 ~( I  bBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?8 r4 I2 o# |/ e9 g, b# d+ Z" ?
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）  V# |! ^' l% @8 ~' w, r' d
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.* L# {/ h) Q% Y3 t+ Y; H, m( z
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1 e# j; Y7 D3 t" sIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。. v3 j+ e, U/ Z
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
8 s) q$ n) e, c9 U0 ^  L- XWatson: Get that out of my face.
% b2 T! b- r3 H9 [8 E+ B( K: t+ wHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.. g+ u" t, Q' g1 @5 g, u7 z' E* ?/ W
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
" \2 h. b3 a# x4 g0 t$ }  T0 @& ~路人警官Clarky上场。
# X; c+ m  e/ R3 _: g# X) |( JClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
) G2 X9 C+ l$ O- R8 wHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
1 G& b+ N/ H7 X4 @7 e得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。3 D6 }- W. f8 p
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?+ H9 ]8 e5 {  ]+ q3 Y& e
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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5 t) V: f5 _/ a% O墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。( `; S4 c) w# ]8 C7 K6 M
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
5 x6 U9 s2 D; ~. zHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.+ I8 ?/ J$ {9 k
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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8 m6 h3 K5 o/ U5 |河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
1 i; M5 {! x4 ^0 Z9 s: ?1 ]Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
" |0 C2 v1 _' t8 T0 P( X; tBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
! P& l9 _9 w1 q( l; `! A6 CWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）" @/ H% P+ j7 H2 t0 R9 o
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。0 Z: B8 D# h/ ?* V
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）* K6 @# q9 t9 t( D. W
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
  l7 Q& k3 {" O4 j( c/ _! RHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）4 Y0 s, A7 j9 Q* I' ^4 [7 \" H
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% ]. T3 S. x$ _7 P  ]$ i警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
% @/ V: D% f. fLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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8 s6 T7 Y  f& G6 Z. j- w' m接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。1 s2 u6 x3 o& q' G7 a
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
0 ^6 |2 r5 ^) z& Q5 S! aHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）  O+ q0 ?' s0 O
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）+ k& k- \9 W) u6 n; R7 b
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）8 P! k, D3 E. _6 a& u; f, a& C( c# F
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
5 ?' k/ S% Q; ?- oWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
! d' E9 ?5 G, p0 O+ R- HHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
6 N" m7 a+ d5 ]- M+ j0 b+ \Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）3 |9 [6 ]. {. h7 b' u" y
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
/ x7 w4 _9 }7 I6 b, WWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
, D  u/ g( C% _  vMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）# n4 V2 U* q9 s1 D% I) n6 t  G) P
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……