《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
2 W2 A( R+ x3 `8 ^Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
  ?6 Y# n+ Y) M9 z6 S1 I& n& w0 HHolmes: I just picked it up.. `- C9 Y0 ?2 |+ X/ C
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
4 u5 g4 A, [- t3 R) S  y5 IHolmes: Knew I forgot something.' E. ~" {1 Y7 u# d2 M/ K7 D
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）7 @8 |+ R5 D' G) C8 c# ~, ~
Holmes: You did.
8 V) E  k" N9 n8 L, v  @1 j" _（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
) T1 b1 |$ [$ S9 [# GHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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7 c; H* O" h6 [/ ?" }, ^宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
% i, i/ g$ E+ n! w1 q) t9 JWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
$ @0 H$ M1 _) r$ m6 L$ g2 h# |- @Holmes: Granted.: `& A* m# j2 }- w# g6 a4 P
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。+ D0 r) H# W+ v: Z5 s
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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& y( k* Y& p( {4 }2 S  R# ^9 A# r拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。$ t4 e; v. e" A8 D) I
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
5 R" Q0 q4 |8 A9 Q7 hWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）( r3 ?/ @8 j6 {: n
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。' r& [- S' n4 |6 t% c
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。/ q1 }' O. [/ ?: ]
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
7 p* p4 O- y3 A3 u2 H0 U/ ]4 f2 X7 `Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
( c$ L0 z& N( U, a6 D; ^; _Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.2 s5 I4 R2 R8 B! P# D& j& E  \
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
& g6 H% @+ s0 m1 |/ r/ KHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
6 n1 F% A3 d. k) R  K) rWatson: Get that out of my face.7 Q- v; H, J! B8 j
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.6 V2 ?" t4 _$ x+ B% L
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.7 }3 V3 A) L6 J) O4 W- Q" E  ~
路人警官Clarky上场。& ?5 r. l; k2 u) D! w& p* W" E( e
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
  ^2 E; ?5 n8 w# D8 b9 P, GHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）/ f, z. M3 _& Z; m! b5 _9 F) S; d! H
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。  W6 W, o- P3 i
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
; s+ l: C+ q4 Y1 I# }/ [" CHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.. q! \7 m" u$ [; Z" d5 b
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& r+ T, m! w+ e0 W0 ^8 w% S墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
% T2 V5 C# S. ~! l; k- ]+ wWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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5 I( q/ u  g# z% c& X- P河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。, Q9 h  K" w. N' O4 J& D8 @
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）1 ]" Y1 J7 [0 z& ?2 Z) L
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
$ S& m2 N( o. OWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）* x* {. T0 a3 z" |+ q
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。0 I/ K& i4 P+ Q( q  u1 ]& @% q
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
2 P! U$ ^# |+ u' s% g) \, d后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。6 J/ _+ a% V% W: e: A7 u6 w* @
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
4 N6 m2 X" e9 WLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.% s/ G- B$ p3 ~
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。# K- M/ D( Q6 I0 l' `
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
& S% j' }" a" M. H; ~( D1 E- bHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）4 ?; R$ b% c: s( h5 E9 f" i
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）9 ^+ S6 y3 u9 K, E0 Q0 X8 R6 j
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）8 p2 I& S: d) {/ f2 C5 b6 N2 s
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
6 @8 A, Y! n# g: y6 A" ?; iWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）+ m/ [7 Y- c9 Y/ p
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）. x. \7 P8 ?; P4 W8 p. R
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）3 a8 R6 I6 K% C
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）8 ], t9 O) ?+ c( o" Y1 `
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）  n: k) U! C5 M# g' b0 z( W
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）+ w% z, i+ |" B6 O8 o9 O# ^
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……