《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
) I, Z! ^$ z2 r, f; F  t- Q$ F+ J8 @Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）. S# L, F0 X' I2 f
Holmes: I just picked it up.
- C8 m3 T$ m  \4 J  B# QWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
, [7 @, Z1 e. L+ n$ E8 VHolmes: Knew I forgot something.3 R- |5 F9 [1 q+ H+ t
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
8 C6 v5 O5 ~2 I; z6 j" `Holmes: You did.
# l/ ^, Y5 u3 N8 ^) ~( u  Q( b（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）& Q+ _* l2 ~' `7 S
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.5 a1 k/ R, c9 s
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; p) s9 n& _9 K, F" |: m! L宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
  E+ G* r2 _/ `& s% ^- _Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
$ b4 L2 z/ x7 [! cHolmes: Granted.- j) t& M6 u1 S4 d1 ^/ h/ X0 `
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
+ b) K! t$ [, Z9 ]4 S* IWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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  C# k3 X0 s3 k$ z" G* y拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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7 N$ x6 k' G" K1 I' HWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。9 y2 H6 ^' o( x' N4 o! N, o
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。. \. o9 e( j# O, x  j$ M# Z
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。$ o: H7 j! ~& [# @8 ~: Y
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2 S! n- X0 Z8 y% _: o, t/ H1 hIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。3 q4 A' j% h* f/ u  E
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
& c& m2 \' L# ~( y- |# v* I5 kIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
2 G" ?- S  ?/ o" P+ h: P$ W. H* f% qHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）9 l8 m+ y' W# D/ c: p4 \
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope., S+ Q; q6 b' H2 W$ Q# J
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
: r* f8 c7 w6 ]' }Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）7 ~8 v0 @( K, A* n
Watson: Get that out of my face.0 }" Z) _/ V) I8 s4 e. M# A
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
1 f2 f$ \2 E+ Q! Y5 f( @  Q5 ?( `Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.! R/ p# E! X# P
路人警官Clarky上场。, \9 n" j- j: Z5 S, y
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
% I: w9 @, l+ W+ h) YHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）4 `+ }+ u8 d4 Z: x
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。) J; d0 u) G' V) D% {! p
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
  I6 W& R" s1 l( |! RHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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4 N. Z4 `5 T7 i- g" j: x% o$ v0 O墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。( S, W( K# |+ o0 Q
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
" }& h4 d. p; J# \Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.* V  t9 D9 Q, F  C2 Y5 O: s1 n
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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3 T7 u0 _. a/ t) P5 K; P河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。, _( k/ i4 D+ l/ a6 H
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）/ M/ k+ `) o2 \+ _9 c- @
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…  S+ i8 ~' J+ U& z& m
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）3 `' R' g% e' t3 \4 l
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
' F7 B  W5 ^( O. M2 ~8 G! E/ q1 UHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）) {; B5 A8 z) M3 U+ v$ g6 o
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
( [: O4 I3 M3 N4 o& DHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
' M' ~' B4 f- v" WLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing., {9 M1 T( o0 j' f
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
2 [- W0 H- z3 T1 s2 V; c( w话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。0 r  W! F& O5 ~) D
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）+ a8 T3 k: [3 {) X
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
6 q6 u; E7 g, n  U; aHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）" `0 k0 s8 T# F  K. T+ [
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
* O+ n" D1 y1 ]* V9 PWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
: s8 |) v; J" b) UHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）) ?* A' k+ K# v% S
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）6 O$ k8 w; g: e2 P
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）6 e' d" T' i( P# @1 L
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
% V! w; ]* `9 f" ZMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
4 p# G: K7 R" O1 e1 e+ G! f（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……