《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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1 Q7 w( O5 H, s4 K. a: I影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
! j, `4 l1 L8 K) D7 }3 n% q) IWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）7 j; S5 e% T9 d! h" \- Q- D7 z
Holmes: I just picked it up.
' A% W$ Y9 K) W* L* v' w' gWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）/ k& ]3 H( W9 \# c# ]
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
' h0 e. Q7 C; d% ?& R9 `Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）$ Y) C' W( |2 U" H( M6 D$ H
Holmes: You did.
. A) W2 Q6 o  C# U6 E- C（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
3 r4 b, y. D7 RHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.) K' j+ k6 t+ ]; J" O
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。0 p9 q  m/ @+ W3 B
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.* r4 X* ~3 Q+ o9 b/ T% U
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
$ n; H  V- ]" |6 kWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）9 y& v0 V( i5 l/ i7 @
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$ W2 b. D6 e4 c拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。6 `3 [! D/ J6 y  ~, d& }
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& f$ N, z5 J! |# aWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
: f6 o* Q1 W9 D8 ~: P4 nWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。- X  w# I  J0 O- [7 {
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- `* `3 H) n- h' c! c4 pBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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6 v  s3 P5 X0 k; ~" w% g, fIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。( W2 Q# N) A8 W1 Y. X* l: l
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
! V  r9 @2 h% E9 Z, k2 e) CIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?. E+ G  ~2 u: o
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
. f' r/ d% u/ Y* lIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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' F! U: y9 n! H+ @' `Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
: t; l1 v$ K, g2 E/ w  ~# o( ~6 qHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）9 F( x% S5 C# X5 e& |  x
Watson: Get that out of my face.
) F1 _5 M, {+ d3 t6 q& l7 NHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
) K1 k2 u9 w2 x/ CWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
" t3 J( v, q; k% @! P路人警官Clarky上场。1 \$ J4 N# S3 Z! H
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
/ F' s( T  t( {9 ?( _( z1 ]Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
' e& C# ?3 W/ v6 a; a得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
  h5 d9 F1 s7 {3 J6 [; F) E9 SWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?$ S6 \. ?9 {) q* ^3 L
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。" n' E; M: n  M0 j. Z- l* _
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）; C$ l$ V  C, f5 _4 T; r- i
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.3 }' V6 S# A' T/ l7 M% ~. L
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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& ?0 y: {" }6 t& w+ G河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
; m5 g; f" V! v# j! E' j, b, V' Y" BHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）/ F6 t6 h# {6 v' n% J8 H3 G3 W
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
5 t; ?) y1 a, {6 A/ n) iWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）' n* [- o; U& v! D6 i4 h
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
6 V2 Y5 a0 t) T2 S4 [) a" O* |/ o, NHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
9 `: }# z2 e6 Z! ^+ @: W后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
* {- Z  V! B. u; b. |Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）& o7 d& @/ a( T4 E) u- @4 b1 I2 N
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。. j( S9 [# |. X5 W
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.; ?7 d* J5 d0 I: K4 i6 M
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
/ c( x9 v% A$ o话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
2 Y7 s. @9 Q" K6 _* |3 V$ @Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
) o9 w) B+ }/ t6 y5 qWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
: W7 ~$ |/ d1 X0 u3 [Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）0 [' Q8 ~1 a8 h$ ~
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?  \% z, j: o6 }3 U+ l9 C+ d
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
/ }0 O+ @" o6 m5 xHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）1 ]6 E2 _# d# ]
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
- B  V4 U  Z( ]8 Q5 G0 Z% {8 U8 H) aHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）+ N8 g& I8 }* d/ d2 h/ w. g$ _
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
% r9 N3 ~9 z4 m. s) }Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
0 q  f) H6 L% H6 k（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）& z9 B; p0 l: [- f# r  c: c) N, L% l
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3 |5 d$ D( u) `* \总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……