《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。! O, ?* r& i- P/ X9 T/ k; P; |
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- Y! \& D, O2 [$ k8 ]4 s, w影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。+ X; J/ C3 p  j! I
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）# J% E/ c- \  n
Holmes: I just picked it up.
, l( r3 b0 b# EWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）/ j8 H( Q$ a' F8 p9 I  ?+ ^* I8 N. s
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.% L& {5 p! z5 a- n# _0 b6 n! P% F
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）5 a8 F9 I. _8 f0 G
Holmes: You did.
0 ]2 n. o3 C- G/ N0 d  O（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）. L3 _9 i& L  g  p3 @; f
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.! }- e0 c" h8 n, I* t7 E3 Q( v1 K) O
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
$ f1 {& _& Y# u9 j5 ]5 LWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
* x& p8 Y- ?, o/ h1 ZHolmes: Granted.- e7 }4 t  h2 G" c
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* Y" Y, ?* c( c% z. c晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。# Q- x& g! O+ e# \& n5 N5 n. r8 i
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）* Z6 ^6 c/ B5 c" N) p- C
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' X. @. ?/ X5 s拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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$ I# s* ^) j! oWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
5 u( ^( r2 C( G5 ]; X9 KWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）/ T, Q& O) ?9 s; M6 s+ g
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8 d- U& R  t! [$ ?+ K' s* w" w7 }Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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/ Y- @0 |! \$ G- z6 d  a/ NBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。7 }. O2 j3 o: z* _& p% n  B- \8 i
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。( J4 f5 D& }( S  C2 a$ Z
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）% E, v- B7 N- c, A, r/ c3 P$ B
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?6 r" L4 R0 ~# X8 s
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
( l2 ^4 o+ s2 _/ o3 eIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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: E& Q+ z0 [; FIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
0 w% d- O/ i5 {, n6 P7 vHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）' z. g7 p9 l! b/ |
Watson: Get that out of my face.5 @& E4 N/ |8 X3 {
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.8 i) i( G5 _' }* w
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
. c! n, M! ?+ p& R3 j" |' f路人警官Clarky上场。2 Q8 K$ \- i  Q2 o" i3 u: _9 I
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once." _/ l/ W1 e7 D& r
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
+ q  Y+ S" e3 T* W得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。% Z. x6 c5 X& a1 t1 I
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
. n! B0 b' X  ~Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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2 g7 O" ^! [/ P7 c- e- B$ |/ q墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。* P  P/ v: ]/ A0 d
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）+ `3 {% q! c% v9 [4 b7 N' R6 a
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.6 M, K! n3 }, g8 o" e
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）; x6 ^( x2 H; I
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。7 p% d' X5 a( Z( m( ^
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）/ ^6 m/ _0 o' e/ b4 N
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
( |3 y) [3 e1 sWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）, A. G4 j4 |; o; Q5 b+ F) L- s  o
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
4 ^) o* ]6 V& `, n8 nHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
9 W* R' @* W" [( K* |后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。. f9 q3 d! p/ o0 ^7 b! O
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）6 |7 h9 D9 a' A  A+ o0 E
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
% {" ?5 z# M- ?Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.2 G3 o3 V/ E- e2 B; F# F! P; k8 l
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。$ w! E3 c8 [! G( @* j3 l* ?+ ]
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
  g$ A" a* B' w8 X  AHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
+ D% [; ?& O) n6 L! q( E! c: LWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
0 }1 t$ X. K# h3 A2 I7 OHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
* L0 y4 [% q. @& m8 \Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?, i# D7 j# z; i& `* G+ |6 h! M
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）( e/ x& t- f, B# I0 U% }
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
& o. U( X# [( w0 B/ QWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
# o! j) A. r0 b& ~1 pHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）* y4 j/ c5 }7 F) a+ B. G% t( ]: U
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
( p- P7 S" c. e* m$ H. W6 @Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）$ n% s7 L, n/ y. }$ R
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）, ]& h: Y/ {. C+ [9 }1 G
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……