 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 * [3 R$ [$ \' e3 _7 H2 f- b& f3 R1 P
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
: M5 H0 V+ m4 O/ v6 x# l5 q BWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
- Z( t& {: r' c( k$ b1 J+ Z) aHolmes: I just picked it up.
7 F" E# ?+ E0 Q e7 MWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) 5 i* z$ y N8 L, G7 f) H
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.6 g/ b6 _: r0 A+ K$ T! C! O) o
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
6 j* J4 { D" b# \9 AHolmes: You did.: o+ a% f2 \& `" N! g3 n9 D" ]- s
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
! l- K3 R `* m' G" sHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.% `0 ~1 h( I9 Z6 A9 V) b8 o# A
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# r- x9 `" {0 P9 W" W% Q' U宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
4 j4 L# ^; ^( kWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
4 B, y: k6 _/ _. @$ r+ mHolmes: Granted.; K3 u9 O, }$ m: H$ u0 z
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
& f3 b" A: n* v/ m; NWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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4 m$ C( W' ]' h5 L7 t拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 # J4 U6 `4 s7 V/ ]' g
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N1 M2 V8 |! [0 v+ @) |Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
: ]) ~0 ]& S- O! v3 t# g, `Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 3 a1 V2 R4 V- h! G3 `, h
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9 I2 R6 }: `5 I2 n! k& fBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 + n) ^: `* d; J9 i! @& [
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
6 B. B; q5 S# H. i" Q) U( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
5 @5 m$ n0 F# ~7 lIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?& d$ S4 K2 Z- Q/ d
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
( X% n3 E4 _3 ]+ AIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.; W8 r3 a& e9 h2 ]3 i# N8 o; u" Z
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 9 @" ]* e0 @% l* |8 c$ @
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
( [0 L) q4 @& X5 {# YWatson: Get that out of my face.
: S$ I9 i! Z/ i* E8 b: lHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.& ?8 @' n5 |! I, B! Q" U2 n
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.& k: o( l$ T* L) o) }3 A# z2 q
路人警官 Clarky上场。
t8 P5 Q( p, d' Y/ WClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
- A) o) y0 s/ Z; @+ j3 r# Q+ w: ]4 fHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) ) }( @4 X% k1 m: U5 t! }7 ?
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
0 r; i& p4 v* I) Z- {Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
% M3 z8 S0 v) f+ G! iHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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% M! v. G4 O8 w- v墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
. ~6 g& A# {. H* {( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
[5 q3 k, t3 h. C1 C# `Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.# O# a8 h/ r; ^" A
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 ' o3 B+ i0 h* R3 k8 |: r9 [0 D
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
8 T. G o8 \, {2 pBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
: Y5 _% p! r. Y' WWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 7 i" m; v' \3 K: y
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 " V, s- Y1 H0 \* w5 I) C
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) ! O! n0 F% ?, w: ?7 ^
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 3 v- o& }% G6 o3 w
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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' D. @! E' M- Y) h/ y# X警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 7 v5 K4 g1 X2 A0 R( z1 f
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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" ]2 F- h6 R; y: S/ e/ Z接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 ! z( ^% P0 k! ]$ l3 ]+ F; r
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
, ~% t( b2 `6 C# {& d: eHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) & S% H. R. a8 `/ Y( {, L" J4 C
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) . M3 M+ t7 b/ _1 G' D
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) ; e/ ]* [" m$ \( }. [9 }; [& J
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
0 a" r$ J8 M- U) lWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
) J9 l' e1 E6 S2 i2 kHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
$ u7 x6 V1 z3 V; b7 GWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) ) w% W. C0 j* u1 {& \; E. A( t: { H
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
8 H- K, O2 i% o7 w7 ~Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
% X& ~1 Y+ S5 }* V' ?Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) ! E' w; V8 v2 B) a& j
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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; D! `" }8 S* ?6 e* q- x/ m5 M4 d总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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