 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
0 h' N7 m [4 B n' SWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
2 O, ^# b; W9 w; e, D9 E! o7 yHolmes: I just picked it up. i8 ~/ z: T$ H
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) 8 l' {% y8 c1 {) q; P' v' M' f
Holmes: Knew I forgot something." G x" R/ @- v) {
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) 6 k5 F3 M$ x& t2 l
Holmes: You did.4 H$ C: q$ W9 s6 W. L& v
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
& M- b9 h+ e, ?' p! j4 I/ `( DHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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+ n8 }3 _1 V& B宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
( v+ D* p9 ]) J+ B' Q6 G% ?Watson: Permission to enter the armory.0 B" Q, P/ @& k; ^ P
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
" ?' W8 `, t1 |8 p7 n2 I: oWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 5 h0 D; Y6 Z' j) @8 d- S' o
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 2 T- I1 E; T5 P
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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`4 k ~; X4 F0 D# B: T% H6 sIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
8 z2 S1 \, h5 Q5 \- e+ d( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
6 g0 t+ |6 L4 S( _4 |0 `Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
+ g3 B$ }3 ?. K& p' G# @, fHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
- @7 w/ A5 v" u z+ m u. A8 D, gIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.4 a4 l* G! F6 e0 u# l& i A
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 8 M% i: e8 _- C2 z
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) \& O9 o+ N0 p# s: j8 V
Watson: Get that out of my face.7 a6 n% K4 t/ _/ b1 w
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.% t3 A. i4 }* D6 q
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
6 X$ s* }8 L% d5 J1 f路人警官 Clarky上场。
# z/ W' {8 L8 l" B% ], WClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.: T8 E+ A i# f! c/ H/ ]
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
% j1 r) U7 K. h* f; M$ ^得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
- p8 t1 F8 \( \( pWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?; ^0 k$ a& L8 }5 Y& e5 o
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.1 h) a% _( U2 {( h! v8 u# K
10.
- t0 @% u& Q5 J墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 ; _5 J" T9 ]& {8 ?9 }" X
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
$ P( d D2 M4 x& |Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.: X' i/ R; [! V6 a( s) U" W+ ~2 K
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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+ K; U( T# d }' v; x& j河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
, M$ i& `) T2 G) o3 T9 w# i1 aHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) ! A& U2 p# T# W: z5 ~0 B' e7 H; }
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
- c% k' ?& h0 k, HWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 0 R( W$ e; d& f. \6 V2 q- X
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
: u) F8 z: s1 [! @Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) ! I2 H$ k0 B) b6 }
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 + B# H- J& `. J, @) `/ C v- w9 Z
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) . V0 j" c5 H: N
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 & V, j6 h! ?$ C C- H- `
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 % ]/ P0 N) C( h' H
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 9 D( ?" C1 O3 m W$ p5 |
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) - {! |* w8 r. h( f
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) ' W6 a+ b! ^- |! W4 b1 Y& a+ u! S
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) ! c, ?5 u; V5 _7 ~
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?' j I$ w. a7 \8 J8 S% a8 `' H
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
1 g! Y' ~7 d8 x2 r: v+ X. BHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
Y( l: [: _3 J2 k8 P3 QWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) / W$ Q& H! @, x Q l# `! l( n9 U
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) 3 Y* |+ w8 r* G5 R" y
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) # f! {4 }& e m
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
! K/ n$ F9 C! y5 }2 S9 m# Z4 l( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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