《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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4 v7 Z1 }; v  L1 G* p" }7 Y影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。/ d: j8 J8 O' F, |- w5 I, Q
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
" c8 P  P3 @+ [2 \9 I5 WHolmes: I just picked it up.
. w/ `# H" V# |  e4 C* @! t/ UWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）7 z8 v- F) j3 B& D% J3 h
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
# ~6 P, x; A6 o2 k' {" N$ w) V+ |1 u- PWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）3 T4 C0 L  K8 F. L2 Q% f" v
Holmes: You did.
2 E5 Z4 v2 q5 d; L( I, B（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）8 b) b7 v& v' Q" |
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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+ Q5 P. V* h  q! F1 x: n. @+ [宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。9 {5 S: U3 f1 c- Q8 @' a9 r
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
* Z- h2 Y2 E: Z& Q3 f3 D: c0 c! V! ^# zHolmes: Granted.
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8 K- {2 d+ J# _晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。4 _; Z5 {, Q1 @* x. `4 g
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）& @, J6 ?+ H: v6 k, H
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* [# q! z1 N5 y0 z拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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% h5 p0 Q. w* g3 C/ @9 EWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
+ [5 E$ O# }* `. W; a6 Y- c! [: iWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）8 L( w# y+ \+ b# \& ~
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。% ^2 N' L* Y" T- n
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0 e3 ^8 q+ a! D% w0 o1 wIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。" H% w9 ?7 N& d+ L) `% @- o4 s
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）# q0 R, C2 G' N
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
) i4 I- z: ~$ wHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
# `0 E7 f/ ]7 h- [% V. V" E& PIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.% r1 n/ [( P; t2 \& F+ k* ?! H6 p
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% m% u/ k4 [9 z. ?* \8 _. F# ?8 nIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。4 F* ?, g$ w0 A2 B! p( e$ _$ g
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
( z3 ~+ k/ R/ g  D9 eWatson: Get that out of my face.8 I; z1 b% T/ L! Q% d$ Z, z% f& o
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.8 ^5 t4 w6 X3 ~: c) a
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.7 H1 y( u+ G6 X8 Q9 A) u4 \
路人警官Clarky上场。3 F+ L1 F# T1 r1 D6 a1 ?: F' Q
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.9 f+ h1 k, o' g  U
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
3 S% w2 I: V* S$ J* u4 X得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。; m2 r, z4 e0 z1 n
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
9 V" W3 z( G( t& zHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.4 _4 }' f3 w# v% r
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。, I7 K' b" J, k$ B% l  W
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
/ S) k: s5 E  q1 o" N# ^% }Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.% F: p& Z! L( |' T7 o
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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+ v) C! n& w& `/ Z河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。3 b+ Q; u$ e* u$ C6 V0 _) s5 x
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
: u0 S2 G  u# g6 aBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…4 P) @( m  J) j4 [6 M* j0 ~
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）' k0 d, t( j8 G/ h' h
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。8 N, C* Z1 O4 j" Y% L  B* V
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）9 V* o& g$ j' H! t3 A
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。7 l: D* m0 k: X, K' L. @, J  _
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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% i" o6 ^  A7 U: U7 N警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
' C  F# @+ g& W7 [# dLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。0 r: b% l$ y$ a) ^9 a! H* \( [
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。, H) Z2 v5 P; u5 G& ?4 x
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
' d6 k* N. L; jWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
" i" b; R2 A3 `- u! t" gHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
4 y- p/ c- U- {0 j* V2 E' S& S. ~- ]Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
( U4 R1 E5 ~- ~Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）7 z% w. }; a- \( f# U/ G" V7 `
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）( W3 T2 R; w% I$ ]
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）) C9 b% ]( r. k9 j
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）: @* v+ `, ~! m; B) @" K
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）3 M3 a( n: g  Z, |/ ^  q" M
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）2 [% _; N3 y& }! Y4 H0 \- u# n3 N& u
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）" z; b. G! |) I
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……