《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。: c: B6 b4 j5 z& A. g
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
% Q6 I/ Q9 w( ~# ]! P- U: D7 bWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）6 I. z) J5 l9 T5 }
Holmes: I just picked it up.
) G- Q( _; `9 ^% R- ~Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
6 y9 R! a8 T4 O0 S; F9 a2 }Holmes: Knew I forgot something.' l, I4 [/ ~% A- N8 k+ Z9 {
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
1 v$ g+ W3 {5 ?& k9 |& h: ]( JHolmes: You did.
0 F1 ?: S. |. P$ ~（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
4 ~0 n+ g9 m+ ~. M! O' r- f1 l3 }Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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9 a0 R, l, l7 t, l% x; q宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。$ a8 g* Y/ \0 T; B
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
6 ?; N" F6 _5 [/ L- ?Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。7 _  c. o  p7 {; A. c3 J
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）# H9 b4 D- b* d4 K8 ]6 y9 F! F7 [2 P
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0 a' e. @5 b; F拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。6 a9 A3 l/ o! [. g* x  N5 _
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/ V. }5 |/ G& HWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。* P: \7 s% \9 e! _
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。0 x# e5 c& O2 \. h
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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4 `( h$ F% ^# d; nIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。" |* k) Y# z; M$ y
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）  Y& a9 c, C% F( m. E  l+ ?
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?) B1 O. C, w( z0 q0 Z2 g8 F" o
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）. q5 B4 [" l& _0 N: k% H1 P: f
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.. b% `+ I4 {* V' P+ ]
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; s9 ]  _0 I3 R: y! i0 w% JIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
2 n# c: j$ A1 n; `Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
7 ~2 Z& T$ k/ f; r+ z' D) |. IWatson: Get that out of my face.
! O3 y2 z: [6 I2 x" N) S( \Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.) z# M. G( ~9 @- d
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.0 p1 _' K' |: i5 @
路人警官Clarky上场。
. p: d* H* a% m8 g. r$ Y" v- [Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.7 Y$ b% |! V6 Q2 J( O
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）8 ]  y( Y! E- p4 X: a' ^
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
+ k3 j) w, U" F* F, e3 w3 Z9 LWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?+ E6 R: O8 c7 x- V, v' v8 w) @
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.* L- u5 G9 F! y- S7 s. [9 N
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
5 ]. a- @% x( ?/ o（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）  A& _2 v/ W8 O5 H; R
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely., n% f7 e/ h+ i  o3 X
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）1 J1 e& X$ u1 |) |, J3 v
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& T+ k8 s7 U4 n, T) J2 S$ r河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。8 ?4 Z1 g( S7 G& r' H
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
0 E1 e: w8 n) R! `% A9 GBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…; N) Z$ j$ S4 }3 f. b3 o
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
# S4 W) ~+ s' j9 G' k死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。% N4 M7 F0 y0 A) m7 a" t# C( ~  _
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）4 s! v) w- v1 m
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
* e) M- W$ X  h5 g' |- DHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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- T+ W* w; h6 S% M1 J0 t警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
! ]8 F) m0 J0 O! G( ~, ^& a, \Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.( e9 v1 {- N$ K! `. N3 y. T
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8 _/ z9 E& g. a6 K6 v! W接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
! l& K' {% _5 y  P9 {- Z- p话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
+ L) q) U* z. \6 ?, g( `, GHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
% B" Z8 h, t1 H  k: TWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
9 f, Q! Z, k5 {1 [( r/ eHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）- o& ]; b& p7 h5 R* P+ f
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
, u6 g4 d' m& I% R. S, d' ?! [Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
' l0 X/ P. m; q; c1 {+ zHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）! I9 |- e' l  b/ T! Z
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）+ h! \: x& j- N/ E" M
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）* A# V( |2 f; f- K- U3 }. y
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
3 f1 C- d! z$ n7 H6 r. a- k$ P/ MMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
0 Q5 _9 k* X2 O; V7 Y（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……