《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。1 }& ]6 b) U8 \
***********8 u( I% W( v3 ?* R
1．7 ?' _$ ]( f7 c
影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。: M7 ?& [' S0 I
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）* ~9 G" K3 T5 A; e
Holmes: I just picked it up./ R) s) j- a# @
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）4 j, z1 o8 B0 i
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.! M( {' R9 Z* r1 F+ Z
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）% ^: _2 f4 M9 a3 n& o3 G
Holmes: You did.
: l7 W( z2 |1 S0 H* H（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）; @! h  v, \% K" V
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
* z2 x% f% S4 N' m8 j2．- |# Y0 t9 x8 V2 m6 N8 ^
宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
) d1 Z# g' p( u, W3 p$ I! |0 |Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
* V: E; J" n, H/ }Holmes: Granted.
& E: d0 I" s* T6 a! L) @  X: X" }3.9 Y4 L: ^; h$ ]: ^1 I
晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。$ i% |" R% X9 r# E+ B' p
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
! M  u% p5 F; |7 K4．; L, k' v1 ^3 D* E8 Q/ Y
拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
: \/ b$ J2 {) z+ p$ v7 {5．4 l/ R+ s! K% S
Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。+ e' w5 ^. G' e2 _1 ^. w8 O8 y- G& r
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
/ l0 Q% k7 `2 `8 L0 K6 D  [: M$ E& {6．3 e: _# R' [5 f8 g5 g4 F
Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。# J+ v; M4 q8 U
7．# n- Z2 ~% m6 |
Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。, ~, G3 C, S/ y0 g( f8 Q" W9 a3 d
8．$ D5 |& \! I8 E* ]
Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
) `2 a2 h: K" u) r（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
0 T2 {5 L$ J- b' k( Y# [. O- LIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
. y+ s# p4 o. J0 `  v0 A" vHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）, d4 l3 f, W& S$ y4 M- c3 _2 M
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.  v, E+ r3 K+ e6 p4 o1 `. X% h+ c
9．+ c: F! s) S( w$ _
Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。( r" J" U  b- K* b
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
/ I% Q7 S- Q7 C( D& D7 Z7 lWatson: Get that out of my face.; _. }- z' n  P; J4 X
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
: N/ t# g+ V& }& J3 T* S5 \  j( W9 ]Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.7 B! s3 ~& Y, g! a1 Q0 O' W! D
路人警官Clarky上场。9 f$ g" R8 B$ g% p: |" F7 ]! r
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.; B6 {9 z) P* i" C
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
* {% R3 [% O$ X得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
- [' T$ x0 H, N$ pWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?" B4 D/ W( S8 O& l; @
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.; G  w/ N- B. G; y6 ^( Z
10.
+ N6 [* p  n" J( P5 c墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
* z% A" ^& c$ I) p+ F+ w（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
, \7 o4 d/ T8 D2 |  M* A+ oHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.) H5 k2 [4 I5 |
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）: {6 Z) L9 l1 }3 {; {8 q
11．' Y) e- J5 N* X7 b% \$ L
河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
) @* y' @4 b) `5 C; k% D! V- l5 ZHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）5 \' k2 ?' R+ D( e
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
, j, M' e/ l3 p, P9 \Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
) X5 G- Z. R, l6 @$ u死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
5 Y. v4 A" Z( p/ ~4 Z; RHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
3 ~% P: l% p" L% U  Z后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
; v0 S+ P6 n7 L! oHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
! Y, ?! [) W$ j5 N, A12．! @" A6 ?6 v1 |6 t( H4 r
警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。9 p" a3 ^2 A" i) G
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.& M$ d. g6 H# Y, @$ h
13.
' S. P/ I/ x9 S" i$ z接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。# t0 X( W/ o9 n$ i8 D" G
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
  C5 T* |/ U- g- Y8 O2 N1 [Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）( M1 o# X8 e3 k
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）, @, W0 D% A2 a7 {$ |, o$ y
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
, K2 P/ z% l2 ]1 B" m' Q7 v' ]Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?% H$ S/ w. K% t$ |* U  S. {( M
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）" c! R/ e+ Q6 r7 c
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）( v$ l/ X$ ]6 y, g7 q$ n8 G0 F% s
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）$ I& R: v. A+ ?/ a
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）* i2 z. z0 B2 `" E9 `
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
% z5 A  S5 O* n  t! W1 X$ JMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）- F3 K$ B: P( W3 k# }
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）( u7 j! E# O9 _4 O: q& C
***********: {  u* J5 X  f
总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……