《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。6 \: m+ [* l; h  W9 g# d) H
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2 i: M* s8 K$ {, u影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
& l" M& {2 w- w; ~9 b+ ]: RWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
) }- L, y4 g' \. o- W1 L7 n5 PHolmes: I just picked it up.4 L' \5 V! Q0 J8 a% E1 t
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
$ W" J, P; E; }4 V) I; X7 _Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
+ `, x4 \7 O' M" }9 M* d* ^Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
) ^+ b' c8 p& N; Y7 Y1 K2 hHolmes: You did.
! m: x. i. [" p- Y5 v0 c% H: M- I（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
% R' b$ O0 ?; L' S' kHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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4 ~. L# k, w* A1 N宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
$ x$ U" r/ N4 _( `% A2 P! q- VWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
- k6 G0 x2 D  n& _# m5 t+ ZHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
9 g4 `5 v- @) b: Z; `% q" n1 AWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）5 i0 k: j) n6 f/ R0 o8 o
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。. [8 T: o) K8 W3 S" _  P- f
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。, i* T) V( S# E% n
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）6 U; m) o6 \: ~; f9 H. ?
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。9 G. Y) c) m- ~8 h3 M
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9 G2 v( [! F9 ^Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。! x8 e2 d( s, D6 x
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
9 d- i6 N8 E0 V! a- W（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）2 i2 B/ [/ h3 w: ~& b
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
( o0 Y$ U" N- K. c& Q! D( ~+ b+ }Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）2 D" Z& \, Q7 P4 P3 q
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。$ A0 P' R% W; E, u; c( y* a' ^
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）% [0 p3 J( N6 E; O/ E* \' a
Watson: Get that out of my face.
  t/ F, e+ a9 r+ v  B* P1 C( d8 ]Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
1 j; D3 N0 j, n; E( uWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.7 @# m3 F+ H# E  t$ J0 I" R8 C, _
路人警官Clarky上场。
$ u4 ~# v& t( ~* q: `% cClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.' o+ w$ `% ~  K/ E! S
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）6 D6 W  U2 p" P) Y6 s* T* \* X" G5 O  l# b% F
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
4 k% K# d/ l1 [1 Q" ^& x& ~8 K* wWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?. x* f% m& V4 m
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.+ w" V% {  ?) V; v  k3 Z) Y
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3 P$ b+ E  T) ]5 [  o, M墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
5 w# t* P; s/ n（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
: z4 U# e  q( r! ]+ a) U0 E6 eHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.$ ~9 \7 W. d( }( k
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）! |3 g5 z0 O0 s* f
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) O  E- G' ?$ y0 A+ H) ?3 o河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。6 }2 C  @/ L" ?# M7 o
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）) s& x/ D$ N4 O& r  g6 D
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…! @* S( ]) k0 k7 `0 W  V
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
6 Y, R2 T$ G+ W+ A/ J* z2 B/ D. l$ V死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。: @4 d/ l( t, S( `
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）+ N+ u# j% H3 Q) n* k
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。$ J& X+ U0 `' }- K  X
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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% j' C9 S$ h7 `警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
0 s; x4 v& T7 y% V4 z7 @' \! z+ lLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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# B1 `. k) j4 X( p接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。( t, I" w! `, F* j1 z0 l  X+ E
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。, F! Z4 ?6 e! f! d0 ?
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
; k  r- L/ N9 T! t6 c% n- v- ^* y( ]Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）( `5 d& M' r- S* @$ b! I( i- [
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
6 E( u( ~" _' K, d& T* {Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
& u- ?2 B5 @$ e) M2 g1 XWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）/ J! U7 o  S) j7 C3 ?! |
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）& V9 W6 J' M- }# Y4 y/ t; b! \
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）" J9 `. E% O: y% a
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
; g$ X* \; [5 q+ [" Z5 [% ~7 JWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
2 z. U8 I, A" C) F% t3 E: q& c* zMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）0 H6 h8 Y. m! _8 h9 a
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……