《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。! d- O" Y9 ^' k) W3 E( o( y6 u
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）* k3 ]" ~4 }1 I$ s
Holmes: I just picked it up./ R6 M0 l' j. E# q
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
0 J) U# e9 c- ?( l. CHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
8 Y4 t1 T6 G: e7 j! @0 M" g% eWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
' [% D/ |. U. bHolmes: You did.4 F# w! o# _" b
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
# d4 t3 v% s& u0 P/ AHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all./ A1 N3 K' J. X' m
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
! o' Y# p1 d& k( gWatson: Permission to enter the armory.9 h# _" A2 Y( S2 A' @- k
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
% o6 `1 F4 T' h4 {( WWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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/ {9 E& x  j5 q: U' ~. x+ y' u拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。0 z+ d3 u- }, u/ L
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。+ r. U; W$ H; f
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1 _2 u6 p4 B9 z9 ?  [6 oBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。2 b& W4 S; p3 L6 Y5 O& e
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
: R8 {, E4 R4 ]0 k6 t7 c" gHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）7 ~1 E7 h' L/ b8 G4 l  q
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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' E8 X# e& L" W, ]% d8 z0 t* ^Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
0 G/ ]+ ]# d8 \$ P3 p( L" K* qHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）, F  S  D6 [6 l" ^
Watson: Get that out of my face.$ Q& b. K4 ]+ j% j
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
( V7 ^4 O/ O( R  IWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
- J3 [# K1 z7 q& o0 ~9 h, L路人警官Clarky上场。
" H" @% [8 C# R. ?% gClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.7 x" D$ t$ I* M- l  y1 q6 A
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）9 z7 P; U: a# j1 b
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。# [* ?" G, U' Q# q" z
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?4 e% y9 I& W+ J6 V6 I2 U) N
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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" i# i8 v- G8 N墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。! l, ?" {+ t3 E  W) r8 h* y
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
) ~9 k* x6 G% p: T' {% R0 g# QHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.3 {$ g' w6 R9 b& k7 ~
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
! M( L3 f# T5 K+ pHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）8 W0 u! w- Y( X. m+ C
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…* N3 p% p/ b0 ]2 M
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
8 c, k. v$ I& N  F2 l% w/ X死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。3 M( l: O9 m" G0 Q4 s( {5 {3 r
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
# q$ N2 W' @, R9 `& J后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
5 I* T; p6 P! |" yHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）* K' n0 D; B4 [' }/ O5 B
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
$ X* H8 h) M/ ~: T9 CLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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5 h# L! ^, S8 m接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
  l1 M) ]" \4 M& H( b7 K2 ^9 y+ U* H话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。  r: U- N1 D; i, k
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
. E9 G. {. w: [. D9 _& D+ xWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
, b. P5 @+ z+ w  j$ H( _5 mHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）* q4 O4 H/ e' \1 v& _
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
* w/ r- ?- a; m4 @Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
0 i/ U  v3 C( J1 n' o, ZHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）1 d& ^" e$ f; c% q; C
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
, I! |6 S% A5 Z2 H" s- h: N% p: C- E  hHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）/ \  t& a5 f, P/ g+ G
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）$ v- J8 i/ v1 t+ P7 \* [
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
& \# C! Q' e9 P1 z: a. R; Z（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……