《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。0 _' e( |! A; i: o) X% M
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
4 x% W" K2 @8 e( O' P& bHolmes: I just picked it up.
) D8 d# N* [6 w4 `$ vWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
6 m" k5 g8 X, n' wHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
7 k  U" o3 W/ y# X% f4 @3 ^+ a- FWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
6 a5 b: V: p, w" {2 s% EHolmes: You did.' }; S3 ~- Z0 Z- f, v! i) u
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）5 @& c4 a; N! t% C
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.1 t% B2 J; _) k
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- y8 p1 {) p- v9 {, M: F4 a宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
- B1 ?" i+ q( lWatson: Permission to enter the armory.+ K. h, A# i  @( j% @( ^8 k
Holmes: Granted.
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/ D, |0 a; M4 P3 P7 v" ?0 @晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。5 W8 k8 h5 K9 Z7 ]  {' ~  x% w1 O! H
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。0 u' e  U" [6 Q7 N" b& N
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5 v# X2 J" e4 U3 q6 QWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
4 h" E) M9 S+ S6 ?Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。9 s8 |& M- W6 ^
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' A2 Z( ]4 E' c! @5 \Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。8 t0 |8 f" i, ~9 z0 L3 u3 Z
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。5 o5 O) @- r1 D1 G% S  U
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）' t9 J# w- }+ o* i' j( w6 k
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
2 p* X* B1 C. H8 r3 F! {; o) b; x( FHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
. w2 o- \) r& z* }& \Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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/ ~- q8 o. m6 {Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
6 v4 {" r+ y9 {0 t! K2 UHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）- A7 e; {: R0 l: b% k2 {) U" m
Watson: Get that out of my face.
2 [, Z  ^, Y) Z/ B2 D, uHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
3 g; q' v. u# _0 C: c. S, y( \Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
- f5 g/ y0 Y. G! R' g' ^路人警官Clarky上场。/ |8 l6 d8 ^% ^# T7 {/ ?  G$ ?
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.( `: }, a) q, t. ?
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）. v- ~" j; C5 ?$ G" D+ G* a
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
* r+ F) v: a  K3 ?( A2 }Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?/ v/ X0 x' ]1 X1 [: ~* @5 r
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.3 }0 O6 F3 V  J
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' M" R$ c% \- v9 S3 p' W4 h墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
0 }2 h  E* T3 q- S9 u) i（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
/ g7 i, Y8 ~2 y+ y, g' ^# {8 K0 UHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
6 c3 O3 @6 x# c# w7 J# O& N* vWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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" i# l3 Y4 A$ k/ t河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
8 h) @; n8 h3 K8 RHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
& Z4 `% I5 z3 v% U2 S  i6 s5 FBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
& K1 }& i: g% s9 ~/ rWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）' [1 k6 [) [9 ]4 e* ^" J
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
' \0 z; i, G. o; {# ZHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）1 _' n8 D* u+ t% R+ }9 g0 p+ R
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
! z- ^2 m* G7 R3 [$ z8 THolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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& r8 }  J; [- r8 c7 ^5 X警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。( R% m0 p& F* S8 U
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.+ B- O+ @8 @6 j
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。+ ?) R+ p( \  T1 c6 o6 Q
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。, ~3 Z! J9 ?7 K3 e; R4 n9 a3 t+ O9 A
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
' b9 y% c& f. }/ R! b! t- u* O& hWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）+ Q0 A9 K" M) ^! n
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
- O0 A3 w. s* F5 r7 I( \Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?9 {/ J+ e3 o, P) H1 x: n# i% j
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）2 m( J- V! G) _& O
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）3 D& v9 o4 a) ]6 B
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）% H/ z( o# P6 |9 }/ p
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
9 P# [4 P8 }7 ^, m6 IWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）1 d* k" X2 w. \
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
, ~+ q9 P5 O7 K3 @- a4 z（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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" `2 Y  b- m+ {4 A1 T( a0 J总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……