《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
8 R& \4 m  [, i  L3 nWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）& I5 I" C+ q7 c9 z9 J! h
Holmes: I just picked it up.
, Q5 s1 h  W! S) F' p6 PWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
3 {5 Q; U0 @' I' c4 BHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
2 L7 c0 _+ f# |7 t( Q# p- DWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
, N! Q1 N8 {7 N0 @: D9 `# h. S5 XHolmes: You did./ {/ j2 ~8 a, ~7 `
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
" S( j+ h" @* t1 X/ KHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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% H" r4 Q% Z. N宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
- i9 `" F2 @6 l2 m. U" DWatson: Permission to enter the armory.7 A1 g3 K' q$ t+ m9 w; _( f; ?: ]- Q
Holmes: Granted.6 y4 p9 F; f9 b4 x. N( V
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5 B0 t5 R) v0 I% r7 M6 ~% a- T8 p晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
0 i9 ]% }) `# T% WWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）8 A  r) D) N8 |8 _, a
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+ E: }: ~3 i7 c, q拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。' T4 l, U3 `7 k. {6 x
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9 C4 }% L! J; W8 I8 y% s  oWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
3 F. P8 x' `6 F% G& RWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。- |$ Q7 Y  G" g  s. ?% C
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( u" ]+ I; o3 t+ N; |Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。# \) h* P5 p; F+ M5 B* u: w
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, x* R( h% c& C' qIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
& @+ a' j/ g5 @4 i/ V0 m* \& z（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
  z. X/ Q- u2 b7 }, h& y% DIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
7 X4 B% @$ `4 O6 A2 t/ _Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
! O7 y9 x4 ~7 V/ `% U+ hIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.- N$ \3 N* v( _7 s$ z8 I
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
4 V/ I; S9 Q, R5 z" vHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）% Y3 t7 P4 X* m# `7 a
Watson: Get that out of my face., ?6 q4 K& N! h+ w5 J$ T
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
+ L+ P6 p. S9 m/ oWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
' j% ?0 Z0 B+ m5 o路人警官Clarky上场。; Y* D* I6 D& I7 `5 [* C
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.- @4 ~& K) Z& |2 ~; `! @
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
( r9 e  b; O+ B+ Q9 M& J得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
- g0 X3 m$ f0 h6 }! o% qWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?7 I( O. x0 K% f2 a5 }% F- X
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.. }1 j( T3 K& G  f6 k. S7 T) w  P
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
/ T; C& k% x" i6 V# }（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）, K9 H7 u4 w  z9 |1 n
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.; _" V7 M& W1 p0 m
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）! y) z5 Y- @* H3 `6 F
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# K% C2 m$ H/ R6 U  w! q河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
! z% ~  ?" f3 Z7 v3 Z2 l9 LHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）( ]! C5 Z, J& l# S: x7 m' N% g4 g
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
* ]+ U! Z& G5 s# P" UWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
4 `3 l3 `+ J+ h! @死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
" I' y1 p  L4 {  m* U2 zHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）- c4 R) j- N* ~$ p5 S7 n$ K+ u
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
6 Q6 o& x: T/ Q, T/ FHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）6 e, Z+ h7 t. n! M4 _
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
! X0 M: G0 S1 kLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing., n9 o9 P3 @2 s$ |: Q2 b5 h
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4 j" ^# @" f( t6 e7 R# z3 L接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。( n: Q7 ?9 h2 Q$ y1 u
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
( O6 P! V6 I4 k( h/ J8 B! ~Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）0 Q+ a9 p* e0 u2 D& `* k
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）: H. L4 [  R; N' d0 w
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
3 [9 r8 }4 _, s% l* ?Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?8 J7 _  n7 `" L% m8 x" a! p
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）* f& @8 l& y% L9 I( v( ?
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）0 o' \0 @9 E1 @+ B
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
; f1 T1 K5 J$ r0 r: E+ H( F7 w" JHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
) c. S) G% Y4 w& \( ^5 `* fWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）' K6 M/ ]" \( e' x: G
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）9 C. R# w8 @4 ?/ H) v
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……