《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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: l+ U5 j4 V. S8 E影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
6 h+ z( ]. ^3 j/ B, zWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
* @0 Q9 S) r9 N2 A# w7 qHolmes: I just picked it up./ c+ a: M% G2 B/ c. g1 y/ j
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
1 u% H+ h( f8 u, M; H$ F7 UHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
* t  H. S% s$ v- e2 E9 TWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
9 f+ W( J: R* Q- B0 ?Holmes: You did.+ e* h4 |, j9 N6 D5 D
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）5 V9 n' x. Y' [' Y; _
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.- i" P; F" @& q- B9 o, c
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) h. @5 F. d. y; l宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。$ g; _# C- Q- n7 {' j7 J
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.8 H0 H6 q; v* ~; b0 I. R- a
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
3 [7 Y% W4 H% ?+ s5 V7 C9 r7 wWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。) W& b3 ~4 ~1 z* C$ r5 ]% X2 o
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。' p* a: ^& n% c4 g; J. ^  p0 ~' `
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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/ \+ G, V  `* T9 S1 a) C+ vHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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0 Y. K3 H! l3 h: T, @Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
( z$ i, D( X1 A! r' @Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）0 Z5 M+ M' ~3 K6 N) T" C0 J! @+ q) W
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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! ^% ]1 y7 {% q5 x- aIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
. W- f% [, U3 O) d  MHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）% [! P5 C! x0 o; n! @/ f6 N
Watson: Get that out of my face.  ^( S# G7 v/ t$ s+ o8 k) q5 V
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.' R, ^, X7 |# @
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.9 l2 l* w( R( v8 P( t) H
路人警官Clarky上场。; X( I: ^" i0 O! d- {
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.  P/ {# j- \5 x$ F" `1 _3 |; R7 [
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
7 P2 T; l6 [& \/ X+ S# i得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
3 S7 }# @0 I6 K9 j- |. eWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
- ~. j6 Z% S/ Z2 pHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.3 N3 N$ K0 u( t2 M; x6 }: `2 Z
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& x0 l/ @6 G; w- e4 z墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。6 s, n0 e& V7 j% p, x8 c
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
" W% {, ?4 S# ]; Y9 W/ i- WHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
" Y, ^9 Y* P* VWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）9 N+ P& _0 j5 K) ~8 j: T  K" d
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1 N+ Y6 M* V7 S+ J. k' U河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
7 ~. s5 |; C6 NHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）, R* M( P! u/ O" ^* w
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
0 r2 M# x+ j6 W. JWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
5 c( x9 ~$ N& _! D2 a; j死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。2 J3 o# r# P6 D. F; r7 D- P
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
& y0 T, L3 r; V3 y' U' }" G后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
" K$ I; `7 n6 N3 @' T1 MHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）0 J) U$ |) h) J% D# ~
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
, x: e3 J8 V7 mLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。! z; _: S1 p# P+ p6 |
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。" Z# \" s) e& X+ J
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）+ P$ v& G, R% m& v" c
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
9 K' c( j8 A: j3 o! D# tHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
. c3 ?+ w1 l2 q- u9 n3 Z( \Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?5 X1 z6 q8 T6 ~/ Q3 Z0 T
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）. R; P. B! B* V& T# Q) A) z
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）% Z- L4 I  y* G, P* Q6 {1 Q' k
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）- w# F% b  [  {2 t/ B2 a8 E
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）2 y& z3 K# s5 o& V! M* B
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
/ H! }" h& s- \) i9 w/ ?Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
) E# [+ o* d3 C) |（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）6 U& \  h, r. w: J
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3 i4 P8 X+ i' C+ [4 S总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……