《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。3 l$ E' b! H$ t: F( O* j/ M
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
7 `! ^/ Q" S' p7 |& ?8 p5 @, kWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）$ c' o6 ^  e8 a- z. {6 u
Holmes: I just picked it up." j( ~+ y; x9 P) C
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
3 s5 K6 C9 x$ I9 n7 p. j6 u6 zHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
" i& N1 c7 i+ T6 L, ?! fWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）. p6 b  h) _" O) ?( e9 G: _" f; b
Holmes: You did.6 t; d' a0 X0 p5 [
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）5 W9 s" D' ?4 C7 _& q: |
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.: D. X% N0 P8 r, [, Y- |" _
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% s; {1 R7 H2 B0 \宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
( W6 u. X& m# K( V( ]+ ?. lWatson: Permission to enter the armory.  q: R; }" S# [6 O6 O$ Y* ?1 }) V
Holmes: Granted., `$ v& j0 B9 p" H
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。7 Q& `& u0 u2 R8 ]6 o1 y( Q
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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/ R" C/ l( H( a0 p7 SWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。0 a# {" w; j$ i5 b. n3 D  X
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）; r6 W$ x- a- C' J4 c
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8 Y' a8 s1 H3 lHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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: P. M; a! X) d9 lBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。) ]7 ]' Q; ?0 O  b
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）: D  ^1 S4 _7 V& e7 @3 Q
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?! g; V1 U) T3 M: Z  [& c- A( M3 C- Y$ u
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
% I  U" D0 {6 c' H5 UIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.8 e. R2 D) E  q- {6 j
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。1 q2 ]; q0 l! l3 v/ f9 @
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）  _1 W: K( l2 [, o
Watson: Get that out of my face.# {6 a% z/ L  C% N3 r
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
  c" g  V8 T# n' H8 E. u, }0 C  BWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.4 ]+ n' a7 l; \+ U2 M
路人警官Clarky上场。
# d3 U1 K$ i( ?* Y/ cClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.7 T: N  o5 B) A4 K3 n
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）8 U9 l" C. z6 o1 B( F3 K
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。' x0 V9 [' K& c0 X0 }( N
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
$ O) w" n6 I" e5 c( x1 ZHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.$ I2 z% e2 t4 R0 g
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6 v  v; m6 ~8 K2 z  G% T, L8 b墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
2 V9 O/ Q( a4 Y  x8 b' B（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
" I  \0 I' |" |( n; U9 nHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.8 T* O; ~, U& ~& h& _$ j# S
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）; d% m6 D4 t$ o+ ^
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。' y4 t+ r! V6 e  H
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）* i% H/ L+ Q( V8 R$ ~6 ?
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…) y9 J  O' y' D& l8 `
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）3 S5 ^  r- j( S$ }' h2 m
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。3 S% Y5 Q% v( A9 ~( d- z
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
) b+ ^: T( A/ S! E, x后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
  c: b' ~1 w$ c# v2 [Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。# H! ?2 {1 Y3 [, R" {
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.2 q) S+ z$ E' O$ M/ }
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。, Q- Z$ Q- b( e
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
% _% W8 k( h& r% }, f, Y4 DHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）! i( s* s0 r, ]3 N7 ^4 i" V% s* ^
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
$ y4 s$ o' \: M/ |Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
1 r. `- R# b3 i+ i6 O/ D; p# ~* YMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?7 B# I  v5 G. l+ E: H
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
8 m0 Q2 s! m! Y* nHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）2 ~: n) t2 [1 Q+ J3 L
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）. C  N, n$ O- d& `. m" y7 A! x
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
  @! W' J6 m$ {Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
/ X% s# J9 X; i; X$ `' eMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
% `: D6 s+ k% n* _! R（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）4 F) r  L$ n7 W% p& `
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……