《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。# e; L6 P& [# L& @4 i  n* p
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# \2 h6 V# t- z- O* m影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
9 ~0 m) H7 z" Z2 Z& oWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
' p- ~! j$ A; [5 @1 xHolmes: I just picked it up.
# ^: Y+ }) b/ c: l! I1 {* c+ ?Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）/ [- V" k" \) K0 b7 f
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
/ n& P" P2 N* j9 s( F9 S' T- KWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
+ L2 N% x! y) ?$ V9 Y! s8 }Holmes: You did.
, x1 I5 q3 l$ `3 x（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
2 o+ [8 D+ W( B; t1 |5 qHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.7 ?/ y; h! f% M% Q. n
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1 Z% c% ^4 q' Y% E, g3 u- A* T- u* w宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。% D5 _  [% m  V5 G
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
! p: L: i2 y' I2 E4 z, }0 O( Q: o4 KHolmes: Granted.1 j+ c2 [" Y& }6 K& r1 p5 _
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
7 Z4 \! `' Q. n$ d. S, x* l# mWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）# V2 S0 C' x) {/ Z! n) Z" h
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。2 v& [% w, O8 R7 A* m9 e, b' J, a
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0 n7 \7 S" N4 t& Z( sWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。8 a  M2 a2 {. f+ Z
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）- ]. P+ ~: h3 }( z1 P. t
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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0 w. [" y  Z# Y5 F3 XIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?9 z; \$ N1 E. z6 X: S4 q2 I& E# t
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）2 x6 Y& [+ O- R  j; {) n
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.+ w8 Q. L. {7 v/ Z9 X( y
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2 Z8 L5 n0 F) C, N# NIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。" y, K. k/ L- Q
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
+ J* X7 X5 Z% aWatson: Get that out of my face.+ D4 f+ C* }* S$ A6 H
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
8 c6 l! G1 p9 ]2 HWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
! k  o: P  Y/ W! ~; e6 a路人警官Clarky上场。
6 Q, {5 R0 R7 V7 ?Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.) A# O$ x/ x% k3 {& |9 G/ \
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）4 B1 [6 Y' J) d8 T
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。: O( o9 [2 z9 A! s% |0 s
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?; X; q7 q' R+ C) w! v+ g/ p
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.% n1 D8 M. u0 D. {- Y
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.! |/ z# j% e; M5 r& F8 ?' N) [
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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$ _7 }% d% B* [8 m河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。' P" {' @- U7 c& q
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
0 L" G6 M* n8 FBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…, N, x6 Q! O" ]( V6 h  }
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）# a, \7 Q) F' {; j$ w$ r  i
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
7 ?* Y! v5 j1 D+ K3 Q" yHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
) W; U3 R8 X; {- [: b2 y7 G9 }+ q! O后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
( {. m" U; t0 s) V" QHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）$ _8 N, @8 O* _& G& M) w* L, g
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
3 L  V- d# _3 `5 P' n2 }Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。, M  e! b6 r; W* G4 E3 ~' a
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
5 o) n  i/ A9 Q  ~/ Q6 u8 h& zHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
0 p! u0 g1 ~1 I6 L' i( R* K- hWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）+ _4 n( X5 D/ H/ A  ]4 ]& }* i
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）' x, j) p2 e# Q$ b- r0 E3 o
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
8 X2 ?# h6 G% O- r* H& Y% {3 m* M% MWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
+ f0 x" t3 l9 jHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）; b$ E& u6 n6 v3 e
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
2 B' M, C' u6 |Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
9 \5 N8 A: S1 ~: G) W% wWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）! F" ]- ?- D( T+ b
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）5 |8 q* U# @0 A% Y) [  Z2 s
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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  O, q1 W6 ]+ T9 s5 I; P总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……