《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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  W; f1 ]5 c- W+ u9 R) Z影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
- x( w9 c( M# n( ?! X, z4 |- j) ZWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）/ n1 ]- q" ^2 ^2 J
Holmes: I just picked it up.
+ B1 I: |/ J+ h% s( wWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
3 U4 b8 W& o9 A* o: ?! O7 QHolmes: Knew I forgot something.8 L5 P- Q2 m. D7 o
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）1 F; I- E( p' A0 D3 o) w
Holmes: You did.0 I8 q& D, r$ G- ?1 j, U, x
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）; e4 S- B# `5 u! L, z6 J
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.; H: d/ W: c6 ^9 e: E
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
, A" X5 _0 `. O8 U$ ]2 W+ RWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
+ I5 V* |: H8 N% C/ ]. bHolmes: Granted.
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0 p5 A6 Z4 `: }  z" F晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。6 Q# l: p0 c) k. E; z% d
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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6 e4 T6 I. a7 \; [" U3 `* }& j& ^Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
3 O9 K+ b) A# i0 \+ x% W) NWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）7 D/ n3 Y5 Z5 t) i9 @5 N5 K- R& ~" W
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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( D, K9 s$ i  S- o1 H  _8 c, OIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。6 ?) K2 `  @" c7 v7 ^# [; h5 m
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
& \9 f) G* D4 z% C; g( u. R2 K' iIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
; ?* D( k; ~" g0 t" T. S) ^, FHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）7 w. V, z5 n; v8 o% M% Y
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。& z4 B$ ?, ^9 @: B$ M! m% v
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）$ [) {/ T! n8 {% G
Watson: Get that out of my face.' `! @* t  z, p, ~! n' ?7 T# h
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
1 l% i  S2 h' Z- W0 w) T  GWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
6 l: Q6 _8 e1 G, t" F5 W( U! B路人警官Clarky上场。
" H  Q2 R& F( IClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.' V! J- x. q9 P. [  J& A0 M
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
) K2 H$ h+ F  ]8 o+ X# g3 m得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
- c7 q& w7 r6 a# m4 pWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?# W( h+ O' z0 H9 {) J9 v9 D
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not./ G6 w; e1 k, k1 s: U
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4 ^/ _: P! P) [) R# M% |8 A墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。5 E3 q1 }% r% y2 V. [
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）4 [. r4 T# ?; j6 ~  m7 d
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
6 G1 h, N2 i5 q/ l  ]Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
/ V& F/ L7 a! @. r& P3 GHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）& R# G; }! v8 |! ~6 p1 ]5 Y1 G% O  ]
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
( h$ ?2 V( k6 J! ^- ?) [Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）) w! f& Q% K3 k# F" {) R
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
5 o" H" o: e) m2 `Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）( X8 R; g9 c5 ~" K4 I
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。2 d7 L: t% W3 n' u
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）6 E: v. x+ I8 s. V
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
8 o4 I' |. f( c3 r3 s; Z9 |( RLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.: O" }, c1 q0 A9 C
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
* O2 a% \. r& ^5 J3 ?- M话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。2 w# k) M* S4 J; n9 C
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
- J1 y7 N& V/ n& T) L1 uWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）  k" ?- X; V4 ^! c, A
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
- L' f& q; b+ G1 SMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?! |) g" |( j- ^! n0 l, F
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）$ w' U# Y7 [, \+ q" o1 T: F
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）: o1 c! q. u$ C8 w" }8 c1 n- }
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
6 Y9 _- g5 E4 lHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）9 a& j! y" J; h) \$ e% A
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
) F8 a' ?  X" M  @1 E$ e, hMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）5 h0 `# @: P: n, l6 B. x3 L! B
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）- s6 S0 F' r+ ]* ?# |7 {4 s& V
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……