《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。$ t3 F  ]6 V" x8 W0 I* ^' v
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。; F; c0 p, \4 t2 N* s
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
# j7 W! X" r* C! r8 A! j6 c; ZHolmes: I just picked it up.
: w- x' i2 R; T: g; i" g; v2 UWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）# B3 u; a7 q8 J+ ~2 S
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.9 P- v- Y- `! v% L
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）, a4 Q2 w2 E6 f4 a: [4 x' g
Holmes: You did.) U* R* t" d0 p* f) }
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）8 q: E0 [% E+ T& ~6 o& J
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all." b2 Z# f8 K+ f$ V* `, F
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。/ |# y5 s- J2 S0 f3 k6 @/ q
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.3 @, Y3 q2 v3 O5 r+ S
Holmes: Granted.) D) T# I. X$ J- D6 g% m
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
: \+ X3 T5 {8 V4 LWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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' `2 P% ?2 c' K. V2 R( S拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。# y1 S" l' b5 G. O. n9 P; M
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。  e) j( `2 d) R0 Z& K6 y9 e" R
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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" L1 x% D0 _& n6 A& K9 C8 fHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。" |7 `4 [# o6 x+ m+ a9 e0 j6 G/ b
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2 p3 M' Y) N$ P: n3 r' U" CBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。- M3 Q+ \% d+ M9 q  W2 z
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
0 n$ C3 l5 r9 @( \( e2 r（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
2 n; }6 ?  F. G% b. xIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?9 B% @* H6 g+ g% B. W5 A) O
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）! t# ~, r7 m0 i' U% `
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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5 K. n! U8 J* n0 `Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
% p# ^: Z% F7 g* E, h( UHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
' w0 j: j1 r$ A( Q+ l& t/ X: aWatson: Get that out of my face.: Z# y, H1 X$ h# M! f$ v# Z
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
8 b& n5 V3 M& HWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
8 g7 b, S9 v3 J% ]: S# V' R7 w路人警官Clarky上场。6 J/ L( [$ |% Z, Y  `- O
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
. c. o" \% T1 t) T: B, W! |( EHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
% [5 M3 O% I- \8 j得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
% \3 d, C" h' g# p* d& k. ~Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
& f# a9 o. K# V! s: C) W' Y& ZHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.& S! Z. X9 H/ i5 R% D
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1 p/ v8 F' _: s2 H! q墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
; d$ H3 C8 @7 E4 A1 l* b- Z（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
9 m) i! m" T- t7 b# I# N4 CHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
9 G' P' `) E5 z# VWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）8 _+ j! V% w. N- O+ [" M
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
8 |6 @5 R5 i: L2 d/ y& ~* xHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
2 b; j; h- a/ bBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
: y) _2 }# V. j7 ~Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）% k( y  K( Q; {
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
, n$ K% p, K2 X) V  SHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
  b% ^' }8 H$ L* P) E0 j后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
% [# t6 Y% h7 c8 C1 g6 Y+ MHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）1 w2 L- m& q3 D5 b3 Q7 @
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
+ V; D6 \1 ?2 `" Y- JLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.% n9 `$ |+ W* Y# ^: V& k+ n
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6 g' D' \' U- R" N接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。! ^! Y/ B( K' {
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
: ~/ y+ C! b4 q- k0 S6 t7 eHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
. j# Z! N: r$ I. n9 J2 L: }/ h, V& iWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）% P6 Z- T% N. l1 s( S
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
# D0 n6 l2 \8 Q4 N7 V9 P( S2 aMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?- D2 E. s( ]/ C0 S8 h4 e' [& I
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）" J! @2 P- M$ i8 ]
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
6 P# x3 G- _% t7 L: VWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）7 n7 p; ?: E5 C8 V% M3 r8 `1 G
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
' c3 F' E1 y4 `9 Y+ ?Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
& q5 r4 F0 |+ s* }Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）, g) T  J! n2 H9 |; b! l
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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, e0 M. _- J' L总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……