《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。3 B7 i8 x% s  p. I/ f
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。. }5 q5 t9 g& l. z4 r
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
; d. `! @) i* v+ _Holmes: I just picked it up." N( F% U) f8 H6 y2 `5 ^( C" q
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
: ^# @- n; k/ q" \) Y0 V: \Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
6 G$ ?; e$ \6 R4 h! m5 ~; uWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
7 }1 X. `6 \: W) n  m0 z; R9 L; ]Holmes: You did.
& W. J- X$ r* c4 U" \（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
/ C* H! m: H: }" KHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
7 n+ b2 O: S: S6 i; O4 c  GWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
& q& i( h! Y( ?( VHolmes: Granted.% D5 B$ {* F6 A
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
2 S# M5 s; Z' {- MWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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; V( N: p9 D/ s6 l2 x+ hWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
: ^& H$ E5 @# H5 B. o7 l6 HWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）' A& B$ ^+ I7 B# A$ N
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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& ]' L5 X: N  U6 w, Z! p; w3 yBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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  R# \6 }# `- \& ~Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。' ]8 t$ M( y2 ~9 u3 [3 U
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）% v2 c! i9 |3 x" s; l3 B* E& F2 J8 H
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
3 q5 E  W, F' wHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
# G& r0 i2 |" i4 a: @8 QIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope." d0 L& i5 T# i) [8 i
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6 r1 y; J2 B' e- {' tIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
( I3 s" o0 t- ?" F. y7 u# z+ }; YHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）( U& }8 e# d* J! v6 O5 x
Watson: Get that out of my face.% ]- N* P5 ?& m! o# V3 S
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.0 W  ?9 o0 B$ v- O7 f5 z
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.6 V4 D5 E1 g  N1 G
路人警官Clarky上场。& b; y- O0 y4 U) g! U! K5 V
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
4 {. k  j( I0 O6 N9 ], Y3 fHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）  L  d1 P* C1 f7 {$ F3 w
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
8 w6 i# d" S, Z' r3 IWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
. ~* f, `  C- c( s  q/ E8 rHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.. w1 H, p( X* b# M" }( y# r
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
! c' R6 @% T4 x1 ]（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）; R% U0 _, A# x  {% Z
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.% L" S5 I8 _6 ?8 Q
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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2 G, @* s/ @; O2 |% J! b河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
# w3 ^) U$ E8 N) F) R  ?8 RHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
( t3 M3 |4 c  F7 J  X& a) ?Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…, D& |8 b/ Y1 R2 W- m8 {8 K
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）, i; x5 x& ^; |, s- d3 w
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
) K& n% p0 K8 l) R. |! ?3 j5 MHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
( s0 C' R% H; G( u. C5 R后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
4 l. l' b4 q! Y' B) g3 uHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。8 _) e6 |' X" z# k$ U/ A& k$ b2 K
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.- b3 ]# v* N! i6 n, }+ ^6 }0 M8 S
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+ ]+ ]0 U+ s" V5 B$ y$ t) t+ Y$ V接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
- D5 s+ w3 X4 w- e话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。6 B* j, }5 h7 ~% h
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）) K3 B; {  X3 k; D
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）8 W8 |* X0 P- |8 m- E1 ?/ X+ C
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
# j; ]5 m3 U- b, d7 TMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?( L: u  N7 K" V
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）- U6 z& u, U. \' Q
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）9 u; u# I$ ?8 }4 V
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
$ ]& W& Y3 R$ r7 j$ xHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）7 h# i2 x( N0 E- l* B( q. J
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）+ M* q( x/ @3 t7 h7 I
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
! k& q3 j( \$ s% X5 e6 C（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）0 k& ?5 [+ C  o% [
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……