《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。( z7 g' ]  p2 i  a9 O$ f9 ?
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）' l; s! {. _6 O# P) l2 M0 h( z
Holmes: I just picked it up.
* T5 L" d& Q/ O1 j% N* vWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）/ D3 q, U6 V! j& n( z
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
" g- R$ t9 u5 YWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
( g7 _1 t3 Y' Z0 z9 r' O5 BHolmes: You did.  c0 i) a7 Y4 [- W$ ~3 r  y3 g
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
% w5 x0 D& b) S$ F( {* B& R0 G" K% j! ?& \Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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: Z8 n& I3 N; [$ ]  l1 Y宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
1 D7 p, L: H  O( wWatson: Permission to enter the armory.+ t5 V) t+ Z# Y
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
1 O9 e, o8 y( D# W  S0 cWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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( ^* f: i& b# J* K" R. xWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。: m# W$ a  h  P
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）3 c+ y, z+ N* {- A4 l
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; i$ w- Y7 O+ S1 ]- ~% y% \Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。! V6 d+ G: f, z. k; h* d+ ]2 l
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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4 C2 C1 g' W( D, n8 pIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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4 Z7 }5 _5 C5 G2 Q5 a" NIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?! C( r0 R/ U7 t. M2 F
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
1 ~0 S. [0 z$ ?6 @+ {% K* U, F6 MIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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( ]9 K; S' ?& }; zIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
: v) D: C, U: B- b$ E7 a0 G1 dHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）0 I) n+ ~: q8 F
Watson: Get that out of my face.0 i7 i3 N, ~7 ?% T3 q
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
: R6 q) ~2 T9 q- `! g( V; dWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face./ Y) }+ o4 Z$ n) b4 e
路人警官Clarky上场。
/ Y0 B6 }( z- U" h6 V' A: DClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.: y" N* d8 N) Y  F
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
7 t7 G/ y( a# {4 j# B9 C/ q# m! ^" \得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。$ w8 E& \4 A6 ?
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?& a* I1 I; R( ~6 G, _; s  g
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.2 ]  }. @/ O' l  r
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
1 H4 w: j. x2 b) F. @% WWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）2 m& N2 M- r" G7 U- s! D$ L
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) o1 i; j  J4 C+ o6 E& I# @' E河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。$ t! c/ B2 `, a" N  \3 @1 I1 {
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）/ \' M  F7 U. ~/ z
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…% U- {. C( n1 [: \4 v
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
; c  b% K, Q4 z5 X死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。" p; Z& ^& e  a
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
5 K2 }" `6 K- x! c( `6 ^1 D* F后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。8 s8 S( V  Z* ^% S- |# E) [
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
0 H  u; ^7 z2 C6 s' lLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.9 E; s( q: v; h4 `$ X
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9 B) [4 X! O7 L/ v# j( `; |* k接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。2 S- o! `% l- s, p% k) \# [7 E5 }% v
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
, G9 M  S8 c7 E; [; j0 V/ UHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
& `) v' C/ w9 A- D5 i6 {Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
% V# [0 p5 Z6 y  C5 dHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）; m: E- ]& L9 K
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
% i8 r8 F( o6 H% I- [( i. t7 @Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）' ?/ N0 y' N  D; C2 l5 T
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）: A# N) }9 j- W
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）4 }3 a4 @. O) @" @  A
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）& C  G: l  r4 \9 r& W  H+ k
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
" C& B2 \; ^) h: K& ^2 {Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）$ ^% z3 U. E7 E. p: r; ?
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）1 ^# m) P+ L- C- @1 G
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……