《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
8 K: `) E+ u! R; c3 H- n1 |Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）) k8 S9 ~/ [7 n+ N! A6 g; d: r
Holmes: I just picked it up.) Z' J& s$ d- n/ N8 r' {0 N
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
2 h3 \0 P7 @. A. [6 \! w8 ZHolmes: Knew I forgot something.. f: E- n* W) K, O$ Q/ ]
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
5 |% K0 @3 w5 d8 L3 ^% D  \Holmes: You did.3 v6 E% s5 C* @- U2 F
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
9 F" S5 v, {' P9 f7 U7 D" Q# `0 qHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.. b1 c; b$ P4 v" C. i
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! B5 |5 {$ P1 l7 _宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
4 X% r# `& n0 o6 X$ IWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
$ |5 T7 `% d7 I9 q; D+ r, E- L) mHolmes: Granted.
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2 L5 t9 T8 |3 X/ s' j9 w7 [晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
# z2 ]1 g; r7 l5 V0 |Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）: R: I1 x1 Q& I- n/ `
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& z. W9 L! p  \: F2 [  @5 {* e拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。: @! H5 l  G7 v6 p
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, n6 g4 m2 M7 V* @9 |9 fWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
8 n- D, e! k0 B: o/ a8 w; zWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）# k# a- D5 e6 r/ t. D) D/ D) r+ f
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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3 r* _$ m' l  \- KIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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9 A. L0 ]3 N& d2 M2 CIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?6 ~' X1 ?5 H3 V, v9 |: T
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）  }9 p+ \- U; C: q6 Q' F4 E) k
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。& }9 f" E9 e3 }$ J3 B
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
8 ~( m# @) i0 ^; BWatson: Get that out of my face.; _7 Q- F7 x6 V" `5 n7 u' {
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.$ D) Z: s$ l' U; H
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
% t& Y8 |* ~! p0 A8 k0 A路人警官Clarky上场。
) Y7 O- D7 d6 _6 f/ x2 \6 ^( tClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
! n" w  w( D/ `) ]8 lHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
; |. w0 \2 w+ p( K得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
0 ]+ ^( ^  U' _Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?+ k, \) j) O) q/ u. t8 p3 a  D
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。' [: a# Q0 `- Z! g0 J
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）5 B" ^  v( }* W3 H
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
: h. @+ x' d" z9 j( A: f$ uWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）0 V5 b5 Y2 c" f; q
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
( h0 m/ T( W3 F; LHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）# f( @: w+ |7 v
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
& K- J* `3 R  W2 [/ ?/ f; AWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）" o* ]" |+ s& @' g$ J% k
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。. \9 z  D5 T* J* q  f+ Z3 O) n; a
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）" [" `( Z8 ^$ i% _
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
) Q6 L; ^) }1 LHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
! k, ^0 P3 w# C. ?Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。6 K; Q7 @/ E/ s
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
! w5 N  z0 V; q- BHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）$ V$ b7 Y0 n! X
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）! D8 c* p- ?+ m
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）1 ~6 V. {3 Y1 S  n8 \$ \
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?# j3 p+ @* W7 N& e
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）# B/ n8 R7 i- \$ A; X4 a2 _' C0 t
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）1 |. x! ~0 X: C7 P8 S; Z! L
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
, \. ~" _& m0 n- I6 MHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）5 \$ ]# t, m+ j4 z
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）) r8 X9 i! O+ X9 X5 H
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）. A1 Z( D, ]% ~, h; Q2 z( z
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……