《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
5 t8 c! b, {' W8 c7 S! xWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）% ?, X# p. ~* d: ~" r
Holmes: I just picked it up.
+ e  m% M; _: w, z) D" }( U3 VWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）. f; w7 E/ j3 @
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
& t& Q. Q4 L9 t* @! \Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）/ b& c& R6 N, X+ Y. e; B
Holmes: You did.
: R- l( f) I/ k2 d' R  x! }. Q（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
& S& `% _4 Q) d5 U  QHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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9 h# m# c! Q! v3 W& }宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。0 J+ |# N' r. ^
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
) V+ L& A: ~7 M7 S$ j8 V& q7 G  fHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
" d5 W6 z0 S6 n5 X& N! t# M& L4 OWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。/ o: C0 a2 `/ t& P8 u, u  C
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。' o4 a% h( g7 S* o
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）; v* N: @, |5 y1 M
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  O, b$ D. \+ s% o6 {7 IHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。8 c! G' W! Z. Z  k. Q$ G) u- B! a
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: J, `4 O4 s1 S5 f9 J+ h: ^Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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# v7 V+ S# b# ~; F6 _& J5 k. |Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
5 L1 Z4 ~9 |# T2 XHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
$ h% H" t8 Z* n; F; u+ N4 \Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.3 s( R5 s  F( K% T2 {9 M
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0 O+ n8 b- t# x* H8 N9 B  z2 EIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。0 Y- j& a1 _4 ?2 n6 x0 B
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）! }8 @; @6 B9 I+ m
Watson: Get that out of my face.
: Q1 O/ K5 d& T4 j$ lHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
  J/ l; C# C$ Q$ kWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
% q4 b$ z- k6 p% g路人警官Clarky上场。
/ k0 n9 C0 l' O0 ?; OClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
) l& f, V4 U" s  p3 ?( Y2 b7 ~Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
- {/ Q& W$ i( @2 G6 [  v4 W得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。2 V8 j1 d; K, [6 X) ~+ u
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
' e& ~: d) ?7 N) p4 N8 wHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.7 i# `6 c0 T2 R6 Y9 S
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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+ V, N6 _& R. P9 J( |  Z# B( z" N+ N9 e3 pHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.2 p; L# M" l+ K3 j7 Y
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。, N& t" K8 e: G3 z
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）% I: k/ y) h4 k2 y% V
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
" X/ f* I* R6 r  z0 y; b0 ~  CWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
4 x1 v5 f, e* g7 X1 o% |6 {死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。9 i& \$ K: I$ \& G& V3 C
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
/ S2 ]5 y7 C( w4 @7 ?+ T7 b* p8 Q后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。# e# f" q# J  e
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）2 F( d9 f9 x7 Z  O; b* H
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( n1 D9 m0 @4 M. N警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
+ K. M2 r" `8 N3 A3 `% WLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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9 J. E( Z; E3 c接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。8 `3 O  a4 s* o/ d2 b$ m7 _2 {  h
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。, [5 e. M/ x2 Q+ {
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）/ B- T! [8 Q0 ?: E8 Y
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）$ h3 Q  R/ u: D7 |4 [
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）, y8 d" @- J0 r! L5 c2 N
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?+ `4 r  g' x0 _
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）4 f5 R! U1 t  U* u5 W* `
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
0 Z5 S( z6 J4 y/ l. MWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
# \7 p, e$ X3 l! }$ s, s) @) wHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）7 S7 K6 T: M% i! v
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
2 e; P. d" u  f2 \# R8 R' FMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）( Y" @6 m, L# U; E* J
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）/ |% t& U4 U6 B; q8 d
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) B! s7 [  O/ q. e$ j3 q9 A+ S总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……