《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
# ~4 a% L6 p1 [+ a1 e- i* MWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）: ?9 B- Y3 x; m& \
Holmes: I just picked it up.0 W7 t3 C2 A' K! g
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
8 b/ [: b$ C' ^' C1 x- s; UHolmes: Knew I forgot something., y+ H1 c& A( A
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）3 `8 c- b9 _( e- X) y; ^+ }3 h
Holmes: You did.# E' _! O# z$ M7 q/ G: _1 M
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）0 W# d% w* T! h& a% A5 T
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.6 ?/ N9 Y' g8 W
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+ |7 E2 @) g1 B! w( B宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。( q. ^7 Y4 t# m% @" K2 K/ N) F1 R* }; `
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
. [$ r: [" @8 Y, fHolmes: Granted.
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/ Y8 o+ k8 p' l1 ]晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。& q/ O; [# m; L9 j, j& j
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）5 L2 C8 Z: E# o& w* g
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2 l. M7 a& [) F9 U' V0 ~拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。0 @0 ], \' U8 l* u
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8 z. P* d8 Y2 ^+ V1 P+ p; mWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。7 D$ J( d3 e) K) q- ]& K3 o. U) \
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）" {& t( W$ ]# n; p; P: Y
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' E  E9 P$ Z) |" p$ zHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。# p6 i# `% N: ?. P  J7 l  t
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。& C) u7 z. w5 J" A
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。, E, O; @+ k7 b
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）. g2 B( I/ _, n3 }& K. p
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
' ~* M3 n) {+ `6 b# e) E$ g) pHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）( D6 M' u) h% c2 p' [, H
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.  f' X* X& ^  e  [& e% o
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
4 Z3 e" n" P! {* s8 y) q  lHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
% v: ?) |' A1 V, ?+ f9 ]& wWatson: Get that out of my face.
8 k% @1 x, C7 A% r% mHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
) r' _6 ?/ U% Q! V$ A3 l3 LWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
7 @3 A4 M& o7 @! ~路人警官Clarky上场。
+ Z- i0 ~) Y) @! t; p4 a) S( _Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.4 |# K( D9 R6 P) B$ }$ E
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）# C# `9 m1 D) K6 d8 n! i" J
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。% v9 d' T% g" f5 e" {( j' K- ]
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
8 z/ `; g' ?6 B0 G: `* oHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.. H; c/ p$ f2 i8 Z  @6 S$ L9 C' t0 x
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
0 M5 P  W% ?, F! l& {9 E（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）& s, A8 F9 i/ y! {; G  f1 g
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.* k! W1 [0 b( m5 c0 q2 ~, T; v
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）- y9 M* _: d7 l
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
3 J' n) B( S1 `+ M% ?Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
0 g, M7 ?) V8 n0 d& f5 mBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
! b* ]; E6 q3 X, Q4 @" QWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）5 Q% c* o8 Y! F3 \1 h" Q7 L
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。- [- m9 `- x4 o6 G. ~
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
  G6 K: f3 H6 }3 n, H& ]后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。. ?$ F& I: g: y+ \( B8 W1 W
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。( ?# y6 Z# u& c9 V
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.1 j% S/ n0 q/ |( G" j. Q  @0 y
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
0 q# `, _3 s+ _  w  W* u2 Y8 S话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。  v$ r3 I. [7 t8 c' `, x$ b) C. e
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
/ q* |; z6 Z0 a5 GWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）6 G7 G( ^3 @) G- F" ^0 A3 N
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）6 X% K4 L6 h8 L# I: o
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?, o8 j" o$ r& a9 [% ?# v* p/ u
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
2 W0 v# w$ w# ]) m2 C3 J4 OHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）2 I, f+ ?1 }7 N. Y, U4 |( T
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
4 R7 }0 N' V- v$ [& l! Q: T' pHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）1 B$ r) g6 E) j% _
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
2 P7 ]9 m; h1 Y7 o5 R1 P. MMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
. p; h/ h* E' R  e8 V- y（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……