《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。: ~8 ?7 J* A8 C7 d
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; y0 f( t( o7 P" U. x% h影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
+ m; H9 o3 K/ S3 Q4 U5 x( vWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）% F/ o8 w1 G8 D/ F
Holmes: I just picked it up.
% G$ a* M' Q% q0 J# TWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
* `$ P7 |! g  h( \5 AHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
' P" g3 `1 }5 @% f( eWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
- l5 }1 K% x; T, RHolmes: You did.
! \: r2 L2 `" m& ?, z; H. t1 }（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）: a3 N, P' \6 h) N$ h/ h6 Y7 Q& d
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.2 N& O# v$ {' }3 i' h# |5 l# z! a" w
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。9 V" }' m5 ^. B
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.5 u' K* O4 n. Z- O; X1 q
Holmes: Granted.) }) V9 a7 M. r, K4 U, q2 U
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。5 k' v7 Q! x- {3 a+ D0 f
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。! r7 O2 j# L: \0 @8 f- T4 b9 C$ x
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
  H- @0 _0 Z8 W0 B/ ~; c* i$ x. {: QWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）0 ~9 ~/ x, }. N/ c5 t
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。! ?$ ^* w9 t3 \0 B$ H3 B3 P7 _
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8 z: A* k- P' i1 a" RBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。( @) l1 q+ X' R; P: \/ K
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
5 _( ~# n' V8 g) [+ P3 `1 ?+ |, sIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
, x8 d0 k! y. W, r1 DHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
/ s5 E# \; a7 H5 Q7 ~/ p& bIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.( e+ |3 M) _- `, b2 w$ e
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7 a2 L% I, ^/ j7 e; z" M( `Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。. D7 e; ]1 k- b8 R9 M& K' U6 x- s
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
+ }1 M) z4 l4 u: S1 uWatson: Get that out of my face.
$ T1 A! C( Z- k% B; R. h( ?Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
6 `3 ?1 ]( S7 ]* c5 E6 W0 Z2 a+ dWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
5 x% y% I) ^6 B" m路人警官Clarky上场。& ^( w2 [6 o; T! B- `% F
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
- }8 }  h) h7 c% GHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）9 X' O" M* a/ ^3 j0 v
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。, S& o& S4 a- m
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
; Y. P9 S/ l" yHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。; {+ N! o' z7 [0 j+ \8 v) @
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）) o+ ~8 r" V! n! {
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.. E$ P/ E) c6 n- O
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）) N0 p- X5 O0 u/ C' g7 t
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。. S$ \) j; _/ Z: d6 y, j
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）7 d7 @2 `9 Y# }
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…3 q) V9 v" z0 C2 n, C& q# Y) e, B
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
5 w# N) {: N- k, B2 w死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
8 r1 P" m) w: r4 N5 b+ o3 M4 g# DHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
' b; ?0 e8 {; o. F4 ]7 _2 l后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
* Q$ u8 X- P/ K1 B9 q. |, JHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）; l! m, S  H/ L4 W
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, A' V2 R! w" I, B; j警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。* ?& B; ^$ F3 Y+ E
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing./ f( U. ]. `( m) r- J$ o
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6 K" K+ F# S  a! ~8 L接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。9 _; W) _% i( M2 Q
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。" [7 O% d& S+ b6 o. T9 }' B5 D
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）3 ^8 h/ \  x# N! L# {2 \
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
7 |4 n2 j# z7 `4 D: p0 PHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
& G+ `+ C$ d" u* F7 RMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?, S0 G2 x3 }# b6 Q; I
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）3 I; \" G- |  |9 d
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
% K7 h) z, \5 [6 e; aWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
( N) [; x. [, L0 V0 E- _Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
& w% b- q/ c' u2 r/ QWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）. x# y9 Y8 G+ E* @5 q2 I9 B  B( u
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
  }& u% ?$ V; d# ]- l' r（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……