《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。  @6 p" v  A2 u, @
***********
5 H6 R: i) d7 F1．
# x" N* P4 B: y' z. y% r( e影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
* {0 q& V+ C- H: o6 ?8 F( C, R  LWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
; p3 i1 J: y2 t! h. AHolmes: I just picked it up.4 E, G0 u# |6 n) Y
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
7 e+ @% C6 A! a2 J, n/ AHolmes: Knew I forgot something.4 G# j( s  A0 u! T+ p  h
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）6 ^$ J" n# R" M
Holmes: You did.+ J: o$ r. ^' L
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）, _% {* |3 e) l8 D
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
$ M6 _* S1 v  {) g2．$ w2 R! }8 b9 P1 Q
宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。& Q" A; O6 x. p' P: U" O
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
( A- b- M- y0 v( [, K: RHolmes: Granted.9 E: k3 ]9 `; Z8 k: M  g0 `
3.
- @+ @) J9 D0 Z/ f' ^晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
. |. Y& ~1 t6 L$ Z$ b3 c% J$ TWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）" i0 e$ M+ h6 }, n2 C
4．! w3 l% _0 B3 O' v0 O5 D( \% v
拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。3 E2 P/ z, J8 O+ P
5．
% S& [+ r/ S9 k4 h' lWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。) o. |) i' o, `% E+ q/ S9 D
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
3 I6 O/ `# K5 h6．8 b# U! T: j5 L4 H
Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
7 C9 s  z8 B- o5 n& O7．# Z, Q7 d. \. h  s, t0 |
Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
( R, A1 u; u0 A  ?2 |8．
8 t2 L& R) ~- ~Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
8 B. p; V0 ?8 K6 B" c（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
1 A# a; Y4 p! d, Z' ^Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
8 q  u1 ]7 P4 n$ q0 sHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）% ~( ]5 f7 J. e
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.( V: d7 y; Z" a. ~7 I3 e, }* {  a, g8 @0 J
9．9 t3 M4 e, Q8 ]3 ?# |
Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
) i- i2 P' J" ]3 |Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）: B% [5 L- J/ `0 ^3 }3 ~5 S
Watson: Get that out of my face.) ~! a/ f, X& w  S' |
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
) ^+ h0 L# O4 N' c- R0 GWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
  G, j# V* H/ [6 y& E" P路人警官Clarky上场。2 u* P, R6 Q2 u; W3 X
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.2 s: C$ _3 y/ T- Y
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）/ Q2 c! S+ p  I* y% n: D. q' t
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
* x$ U, Q# p! L; m6 y; S/ v  U" IWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
! h- x5 O) Q2 O1 i; S& qHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.) Z* T2 `4 F6 j! U$ G0 W6 s9 p
10.6 H- a  B3 V8 w
墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。9 r4 c! o2 B: `+ i" |! e
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
$ l$ o  k# T6 t$ qHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.; t, G3 x, `' s1 }/ s5 c# A5 H
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）8 C: Z8 m; Z" A3 x, Y3 r: X6 e
11．
  k( s9 Q1 u$ y4 Y* E  \河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
. I! `" O% O8 f! v9 y8 DHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）( I3 r" q/ o$ Y
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
. i* L- R7 |" o+ HWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
+ i2 \2 h3 p# k) u死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。5 t" S: E; g3 C6 v# L0 J% V3 B
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
& A& C" H# }8 ^. s' j后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。2 b+ q; ^# \8 B6 ?! C' \, u
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
6 J8 }, S3 B( D12．
- E* ^' m8 ~; I4 ?5 c警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。% ^" z% K+ \6 l/ `$ V9 L( U
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.9 B6 O+ `+ |. U' ]: R
13.
0 d. c% i) Q% [接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
2 |' a  f2 F3 c8 U6 X( s% j话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
& ~( n* ]% q( p! A' @; ?; jHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
* a, T6 P$ _' C( V+ Y0 B! ]1 SWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
9 B' i9 N! o9 W, e& q2 d8 K; rHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
* A  y4 S$ E3 P% Q0 @5 m0 d! qMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?7 g& F0 e1 r# P' X* @; j8 A
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）( q6 s% B- V5 p+ F: A( u* W! j
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）' L6 V7 E; ^7 g
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）4 A# a6 i( i, S1 h& x) H2 s
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
2 g* _* d; l, p7 q# |/ M7 q' R- r. OWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
+ _4 @) g2 B, S0 t% SMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
, X% u- f; m- m* M! J# E7 y（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
+ k9 B* f4 r: g***********% x$ K% r4 V1 r6 J+ o/ I
总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……