《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
3 T: s" t, O6 ~Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）- b* P# o' T5 K/ g; g' B
Holmes: I just picked it up.5 D/ J2 D- V6 a- `% v
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）, k5 m) @  V2 @9 l% N' Y
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
& P! V4 V5 l& U5 X& e0 ~Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
6 [; i: I8 u# R6 mHolmes: You did.8 ^( v, ]9 s) T! y- M
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）7 Z# M2 |- L; O! S- Y' [7 Q; U
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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# ?* `* w2 e& ^9 k宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
  V/ m8 _  s% O( RWatson: Permission to enter the armory.3 v; H; k( H$ A. ^5 Z$ l
Holmes: Granted.3 o4 l* Y( {2 `; o+ M! k
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。! J0 U, C3 X! I) ]& S
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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. q" N, ~! L) }% ^5 AWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。/ O- @8 C7 f8 L6 r- I- n8 Z- C
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）3 ~& L' K1 P- I! T
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. m2 f) Y& B5 g" pHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。3 P) w( M3 ], i5 y- S2 Q
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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* u, |; ~; I0 gIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
& M8 ]# U! X; |8 X# s& c4 t" i  l& MHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
6 D  Y# G! a2 m0 f; aIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.% C, D3 ~& M& e5 T3 P1 G9 k
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/ A; U1 C: D0 a: [" GIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。) A, g- ?( f8 f% G# f5 c
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
2 j; x1 x8 S+ m  ?' a0 h8 W5 JWatson: Get that out of my face.
8 Q* @# Q7 }! X! VHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
$ S8 ~- t" X$ ^9 U8 e4 aWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.1 ^: }2 m! p2 R' x0 J/ e
路人警官Clarky上场。( `, g4 K. U! `5 ]' n
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
- H& g' |0 G4 d2 U" U& A) MHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
0 x6 O- a/ x0 v  ^得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。& E/ H8 M! U8 y& c4 r( S; V7 c! W: i
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
  J0 Z) m2 M! n( L$ W$ BHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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- J" w$ ^( v" k' ]墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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% G" D, O- A2 Z3 zHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
9 ?" V6 ~7 S1 F+ `: X# V, z* v  iWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。0 a2 U  H' \- j, t
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）! f/ B- a. H: \: a  g2 K; y. p
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
# I" i. G- d. L, u. jWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
4 w5 B' ]9 B% M8 o6 @( a3 d8 m$ b死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。3 I% U& Z5 X+ a( W4 T8 ~
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）4 t; \+ ?  ]. c" Q0 X1 O' g
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。; ^9 M/ T! n! o- {
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）8 Y9 W4 M+ `# T7 _
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
) E9 e* V( b0 V: p/ |Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.3 M5 o0 c0 M0 u) T3 f4 O
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2 J& g) u6 R  e6 |接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
& e' Z. L8 s8 S4 r1 c3 R话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
$ m. M% p' m$ CHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
: w0 A7 s/ y/ N# Y* x: B6 V( G; mWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
5 f! s/ L' x* W0 b2 w8 Y" mHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
  W2 b6 J% R* A" c0 h) mMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
! Q0 D- w/ Z! cWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）! O% ]2 e, \; l& k$ F/ V
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）- Q& L0 e# A6 ^' _! i. J
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
2 `1 n8 ~  I$ `! R, S% Z9 sHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
/ V" Z% f. r# S' l* L6 ]; GWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
" w* Z- ^- b& oMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
: w0 Y" r, C3 v/ m（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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0 Y' Y% c  {7 I% P: U$ F总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……