 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 & H8 ]3 B/ Z5 ?6 J
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 % b$ _5 I) ?* R
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) , m' m N" E! Y* Z0 I6 G
Holmes: I just picked it up.
* p0 U3 V# B+ Q! c4 W/ z) nWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) ; s, D% U7 n' Q! Z
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
; i7 x. C& {4 D- E7 t( yWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
; w. @0 l9 S& G' J6 A0 d% L' `Holmes: You did.
4 n" |& W y L2 ?# }. @' E(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) 0 t% U) h; X* j4 J* n8 c
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.! C2 E5 V' V+ |3 c1 _9 ~
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1 x, x# J' o3 R3 [: b/ u宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 ) t5 k5 p, u$ p
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
, Y+ C h6 F1 \: wHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 . i* ^; I6 P9 X+ M
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) + T# L- X& ]$ |
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J$ s. P- u w% Q6 K( c8 Y) H$ `$ z4 p拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 % }. Z, i# l- c* A; q
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% p: K( D' N2 T$ x# U) oWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 4 k! g5 I- p1 }1 ^- |7 r& T
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 4 O$ ^" R% I9 q) H. G7 |. ^
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3 h# t1 _# t4 ^$ S! N- V& A5 {Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 , g4 }7 i0 L$ f9 P2 Q% C: d9 V" V0 s4 |
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! p, K' C1 J4 i- ZBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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4 S& P7 q) r5 j2 k" Z; y* x7 V! j! H! _Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 9 I4 X+ F, r& @* z, k
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 4 C+ D% A; T% h; H
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?+ O+ }, C5 z: @# X
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
0 e4 e) O# G. {* T. m" H6 w% rIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
/ e2 v, m# ^( Q5 X3 LHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) ; H- }% X4 L8 V& \" J- }( S1 w8 e5 ]
Watson: Get that out of my face.
& V0 [: Z& E x! [& a+ H5 f* UHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand." Z' ]# \# m, [
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
* U# N) M7 x" F路人警官 Clarky上场。
( B+ n) p( }/ n; VClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.! ~2 }( z3 e+ A0 X; i
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
% g2 V1 _) H. k* |, |8 \/ v G得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 ^6 S% h- _5 t$ z* ]9 m1 q1 g n. M
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? }2 }: d& D2 {- z: d) @. Q# }, n
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.' b# ]7 ]% X0 \; e+ E+ k0 f7 W
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 4 O, K# G0 m; }4 n: v
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
5 J/ i6 |: N+ E. R4 @) BHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
6 U: q. _# N; h: h0 W& e4 SWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 3 M* Y I" Z1 h! S) l
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) % H& S& e8 N1 N4 o
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…( a0 y: N3 s( ^3 c/ E
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
2 B4 @5 b1 S) ~! s# @死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
( Z& D$ b9 \1 p& R: c y$ wHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) # s/ n# E0 `& T8 {/ d
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
* \ Y/ V) b$ E. }- Z' AHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) + G1 I5 Q) b& }( V3 b# q
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. A* i" F# L6 S1 T警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 & a5 s* s+ |* g, N4 u
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.5 h& Q$ v7 j. q
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 , A5 x! K, B C1 {/ x' z
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 T2 P7 C3 {2 a" y% Z% z
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) ' f% E+ L$ T( i; _
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) & O& K6 V' I: Q% o2 S a: t8 Y
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) & n+ k; F3 A" v- a1 s
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?# ?% f3 I; d/ J
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) 6 m; j: `- K. ]- |: C1 d2 {; ^4 H+ g
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 7 o V: m( E2 Y$ c- A% p% o
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
$ g: B7 L+ S V/ C& fHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) " u. W% b: J& x1 O, b# \4 r3 I/ V/ X
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) ) I Y8 |# t, P- ?% m
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) * W1 l" `) }: i0 r
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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# F+ g/ J q4 i; b总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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