《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。1 B$ I1 @' B" g, S' m/ j
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
. G7 @- u" Z+ C, R1 q5 i) UHolmes: I just picked it up.1 `9 }/ u, V3 M* V9 p
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）3 h( F, M; Y1 e9 ?% e; g2 n
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
; @$ D8 ^! A, i$ ]4 R% j' QWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
8 h0 g. c$ {$ W3 }1 |6 j9 Z2 lHolmes: You did.
( h4 A( g% }+ v（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
: x( x; z0 x5 f) d, hHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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( }0 d$ {- S' j$ [  D5 D宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。$ e+ a; a: l1 b" |4 m7 P* W
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.( @6 k' n6 d; C7 r
Holmes: Granted.9 e$ N# T" y2 z7 h! \. n
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! v) Q: s+ D  G. I  m7 |晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
' K! O3 i6 l' I  M+ `! G/ @9 UWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）8 k2 z" A2 P( k+ E
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。3 u) D. m4 B! ~8 C1 q
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。" Y8 |) @! e! W* L* L$ q! t
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）, N! |/ I0 g5 V+ z) U+ Z: t; z( E
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。' E! j# a% ^9 H* |6 i
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; u  K; v8 d1 O2 `$ k3 h# rIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
5 V* [( Y. m$ a! i% V, v3 l# ~（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
& i) ]+ ~+ G) e+ @, q7 M* \Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?3 v2 {$ H- q* [$ H9 T. s! A
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）$ K" l& U; x6 P2 P; }
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.2 R0 s% d* s# C8 ^2 n) \
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
3 a* W: Z2 ?" ]Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）5 f$ S0 n4 M( {/ e% ~1 B2 |
Watson: Get that out of my face.' D( ?; o) l2 t: Q. g
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.9 z# a# x+ z- R
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
6 l& _4 m% y' W- ]6 p( }路人警官Clarky上场。
# a* x! P2 a9 H1 LClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
6 i) g0 {5 f6 `$ nHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
' l" b' s+ y: h. g  m% _4 O得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
! H, }. U7 ]0 l# F) d# z( [Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
/ i- f! I: P0 H& tHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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& x8 j9 t5 A9 D: D4 d墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。5 h: c& ?+ y1 l7 Y  [8 j
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
* |& C" _6 N, X8 u& x1 DHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
5 ^- R4 o7 @# [6 c; s" Q/ bWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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0 n# f/ i/ H* {4 v+ I" l, D! I3 @# I河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。9 I3 b. [, \  E; v6 q# h& T
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
" ^9 |" A( O0 |8 z) UBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
# V% P1 f  t0 v* hWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
4 C6 c  X# r7 ~  B死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
: J" p6 s% J& C7 O, }Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
: z& j# @3 E9 ?* t' l/ o后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。' D& D7 n4 h0 t7 D- R
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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) e) \9 W0 w( _( K! t% B& p  h警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
: J# o/ _$ Z3 T4 P! u2 nLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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: O6 g5 s( s( j6 C3 k% S接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
3 j! L" K8 H" v. ^0 E) {. _" H话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
$ P. V" R8 J( ^2 pHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
  V* Q6 }  V6 K! m' U# {; ]5 fWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
; z7 N4 ]2 C/ ~! z. z" B$ z4 v/ EHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）0 b! h& M' ~4 w
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?; W$ T( O- y/ K9 S0 L
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）! B# y) [- ?- O: J5 V/ X
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
7 ~' X9 Z8 X- B3 g- e6 ^  ~Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）! n4 s7 M. Q( Y9 C  C  \! l5 o% I
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
. C$ r1 ~* Z/ D* u6 h8 TWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
6 t5 G: n9 {' Z- E: N; U+ J, E; sMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）2 P' i6 S& j+ A! r( ?3 w( q; d
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）) L. V/ u7 E, k; Q! G& W. E5 u
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% Y, j; e% X0 t" X总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……