《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。* Q& M6 L9 a" F
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。/ n. z8 M1 b, S* z+ j, ?
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）5 R' Y5 f! C* F+ ?# B
Holmes: I just picked it up.# t) D6 X1 F; E* \" D9 W
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
/ ^3 F9 v% O2 m: W, _Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
( |! T. X0 L2 E7 [$ WWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）, g! _- B( E" h: x0 `+ {1 i+ r) e
Holmes: You did.
- x3 q0 V- Y7 F9 Q3 t; x4 B（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
) C5 {' ]3 u7 THolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。) b3 b5 X$ `8 D- m& w1 @  Z
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
, t5 d" w7 t7 C0 p# aHolmes: Granted.4 X2 x3 ?5 f9 H1 I3 o# F0 n$ g
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; P9 b) c  ?8 F1 B晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
6 g, X7 `7 C  c# UWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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. I1 x3 e. h) Q  |$ C6 g拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。2 _8 Z, R: P4 L7 B" G* A6 o$ P" b
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。1 [) z  L& ^, B0 e, }) E. e
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。  Q6 K: G' X  |! b/ N; t" Q
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8 r) [% ?1 w; W: QBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。6 z$ x8 ~$ v- s( F' N0 f
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。8 E; x- ^& k* c$ Z
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
6 H& `( O" \+ m/ [5 D& D7 YIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?5 d  ?9 O( t: y! w6 Y' m
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
( x! |( S- w/ J; G- _Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.3 y! b* [1 D* L6 ~* i8 X8 K/ L
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。7 O6 g2 b1 S& W( F; ^
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
  L2 M4 E" K% ]& h  q* o$ }& IWatson: Get that out of my face.) L- A& b8 g7 {2 G
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.( \5 a8 c% i, {" E( P
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
4 G! A* p+ J9 n/ D% A1 l5 }路人警官Clarky上场。
; i: @% t) ?0 N, A& I2 R+ I2 H: tClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.* D4 a: B4 j' j6 Y/ ?9 @  o' ?
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
( q3 i0 j' B4 c2 O得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。: F8 u8 ~' |) ~% |
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
4 }- J& A# ]- B. E/ u5 GHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not./ S; ]) D9 ^/ Y  w  ?8 j
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。! Z; ?# R, d6 k% j* V8 v
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
+ ~: h8 Y0 A6 KHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
6 n& A' @" U' t* q6 _- u3 M& {& hWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。; ^# c3 o' @, s7 r1 o( t( M
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）8 m6 J4 e2 c$ ^
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…! K( F1 F' h8 d; l, r% V( d
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）3 x5 n! o3 ^. [& A9 ?3 _2 ~- M
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。( W1 I4 {6 e; I* q5 T% E* U
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）* `1 Y9 F" q. U- q( p5 w) \
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。& a4 b! ]0 g1 Z0 a; {) X
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。, g  z! y/ g/ }! M2 l6 a
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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- d9 s( g. w) x& o接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。3 i. [2 T" w" d$ Y" r
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。  h. P" S8 I2 s. Z# n1 P
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
' Y: T. y4 x" w( mWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）5 m2 o+ e0 s& C
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
6 |) G0 l( A6 N2 X" T  _0 \Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
% T' u& e- \9 S4 o, `4 Z" hWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
/ |: Q+ O  v2 t5 J# HHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
0 n' g( K6 `% h1 e% w; F3 HWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
9 S" z" B# Y" {% g5 `2 nHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
- }0 _# L6 ~- Q& M7 C# NWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
4 Y5 f" x" U) i' j5 O3 eMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
  t2 M6 z2 S- Y. k（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……