 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 ' @& U9 `& u3 b0 r0 M8 D3 t
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
- F( [6 g: Q% sWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
9 Q+ X+ Q! h6 [! V, b7 C: ?Holmes: I just picked it up.
/ P$ P( {' e& \9 E, NWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
8 c2 e# V( d7 W0 T' E* a4 p* XHolmes: Knew I forgot something.9 o$ H4 Z* G0 u, z7 S
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) & P; [+ S6 }& x! B
Holmes: You did.; H( @- L- b/ n0 e h9 z3 M% j
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) 1 Q7 C. Y9 J3 d+ Z5 D( T
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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+ c7 s3 X+ D( p# L( P7 ~宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 & g, d7 m5 _9 O7 ~
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
, y+ |9 `/ o: b9 YHolmes: Granted.1 Q# i; X, {5 W9 B& T5 ~
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
, x; _: Q1 @5 G$ u! gWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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# k8 T8 K6 v1 E5 b5 v' p拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 & C. E4 ?1 s. s! n) r+ e# F3 O* [
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5 U- ?; O7 p, \! y" wWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 2 d+ [ T! E1 W: i( x
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 0 S8 v) i# M6 I9 H% E) x c* s) M
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: I- U. F9 \ JBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 " m% r5 q6 k8 L8 h' [2 \) u6 h; e
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: |; M$ h1 m* C! `Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
: y8 N, X8 L" D/ B( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
/ ^2 n0 R6 N- B) WIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?; E U. e) ?% H- y# o
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
3 Z: U- }( Z& kIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.# f% O3 [1 z1 @4 @4 O) i3 h
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 7 Q5 ?3 R" ?/ D* F( B+ z4 ^- E% `; f6 J2 C
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) * Z* K- L5 J+ E+ z4 z
Watson: Get that out of my face.) q! |! A! t0 Y
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.$ S- b1 s7 U: u9 W; Q, V
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
% ~8 S3 d- `" g; r" j. K. A路人警官 Clarky上场。 - e i9 d- f0 u5 E
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once." I" H% H5 Z. Z
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) , p0 ]9 J% g6 a" E: t
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 " C9 e, f) m3 U7 p4 C
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
( o. S) r) k# f4 y$ _2 q) MHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
+ q, d- b9 h, j/ H+ H# u( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
: N7 ?7 ]- Y- L9 t8 i5 HHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
: P- \' L0 L3 B* w8 _4 iWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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! z8 i0 t. {3 t( A: y* I河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
" z; }- `; [1 C {8 ]. vHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) # L2 j& ^3 M& m1 @3 D1 P
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
2 Y4 C C) d6 Z2 w' c+ a& j3 DWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
/ S% U" d! g: p" f# D/ ]死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 2 H" V0 q8 ], l$ `
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) $ g; S5 ^$ z& C/ C5 L
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 3 G8 K ~' a; J8 I% k( I ]% ~+ R
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 ' Y: P& `& @' Q$ T- ^+ a
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.! r W1 x* r: @) f! j' e
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 7 Y' x- Y2 z8 M1 }: j8 j6 x( {: [
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
# a7 x, n$ D3 Y4 |Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
4 X/ \5 k3 a# {/ J& {3 G6 P# SWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) $ O7 ]0 J6 z0 L! ~! m* K
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
' N6 P5 L8 p3 LMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
m' U0 x* H- S: O- s& lWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
8 |2 S0 m) c8 }/ v+ t ]Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
- q+ g2 Q+ l! cWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
7 Q, N1 [/ a3 o2 ^( C" ?Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
4 @8 t* X+ I. [6 ?' lWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
+ d8 [" i# F! sMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
4 n- }' K& Y8 a5 d( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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m* o% o' w' o总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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