《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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7 D6 T, h4 P$ p2 L5 \3 V- j. e$ y2 `影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。& K' u' C7 k# C
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）4 M" u. k5 M6 |
Holmes: I just picked it up.( g4 p- B+ ?, C9 X. \
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
; Y9 o+ W% U2 OHolmes: Knew I forgot something.! L/ i# A) ]7 o* Z: _, M
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）1 G% f, l4 l8 `. Y" U+ Q
Holmes: You did." c- Z* n5 ~" Y  a( g9 l
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）; B. k0 f8 t9 y( L! {# J& \8 P
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all., B, B- r, |( v) }$ v
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。! b6 W: Y6 B; K
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.5 T: R# l# q2 E! a6 t
Holmes: Granted.
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5 N1 C7 V" I, L晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
! u4 t! r/ }& V. {) T# }/ @Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）4 c7 t" U) `- m4 ^0 Z
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+ c6 H4 Z/ g- f" `. w- D; ]拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。' [6 u! T3 v6 l  z' C8 A
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& Q3 J: D- P- uWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。+ @2 s  |5 z+ f1 B% a# J
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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5 t( H% \& z$ ]. T9 a5 G' U3 A* ZHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
, H6 d+ ?. a* u: w2 b（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）9 o+ m0 w2 ?( F- @. s4 z- u
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
& Z/ ?8 d, F0 d) j/ v$ \2 kHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）7 K& H3 b( @3 X: K& |6 M. h5 F; U
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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; I* F) `7 _0 V! F. sIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。2 b) `  ?  c6 s- _  y0 i/ S; }
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）3 _* ?4 V6 u1 z
Watson: Get that out of my face.
5 k9 A9 E# Z7 o5 ?( M. RHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.$ G) B! C0 e  W* G* C
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.. j) k0 e' r, r5 `; g
路人警官Clarky上场。
) o# q/ R" u0 b3 X  n( i' YClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
% B* @1 ~2 r. A, j/ IHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
9 g, S, r) o1 x9 o得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
, Z' A' ^5 ~% P0 a$ @7 NWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?( U0 y# P! a6 l; O  \6 |" @5 Q
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not." x* y+ E* z8 N
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% r2 `3 \7 c- N% P; U  l墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
6 {/ o8 U, U! \: [1 s4 q* ?) T+ b7 x（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
7 E0 Z0 K9 n1 h0 DHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.; |3 p0 _( I: z$ V1 Z. B4 Y- _
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）8 H+ B$ J2 W5 |) M. _: J
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。5 `6 [) Z  q4 S4 k+ k+ f
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）* \1 n: P: U  n& j
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
& W) ~$ }. F, t* K; |Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）$ d+ T5 m2 c; O- R% B1 I, E* v
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。5 R0 F* @0 k2 G& D% B
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）/ k1 q  E9 V) l+ l( {
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。3 N3 y1 }* t  g9 K9 f8 }
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）  ^/ S9 w% h; {1 T; `6 ^3 s: u
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, g7 Q0 {7 b& F警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。( Z/ M: \: O8 n+ L6 _+ N
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.' V8 a' x; _4 w$ x/ h' |1 P
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
4 X9 \4 t- f/ D话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
$ _9 N. Y8 H& PHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）9 B& x$ \% B0 m+ ]* |7 J! ?
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
; Q! ?( ]5 m% m, p8 ~- G) VHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
" T, w4 m  d# H5 C9 N' g, ]. B6 QMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?' e& |% {% P9 j& A2 q3 G
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
- B) ]( _0 L' x: v8 J2 J  i% z3 yHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
& J) c, w" {  T# n" NWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）3 N' X# K- m; V8 Q6 r1 C# T( d
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）. m$ ]) P+ h( H9 T
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
3 D& x6 g) I2 zMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
$ U( w  X2 z, |& z7 Z（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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  x" F. e6 [0 p0 q1 Q/ W总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……