《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。/ [6 M9 |7 i1 F3 }- E
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。7 X& ~, o' |- o2 X. Y( N8 }1 N
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
+ [6 y2 N3 R( W0 }Holmes: I just picked it up.
6 Z2 Z2 x1 |% W4 d% \% S2 }Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）: U1 e, Q  N7 A$ @
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
6 \! S2 l5 D2 s5 z8 I" p* yWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
0 f( B  i% H0 d; n0 ^- u9 c" GHolmes: You did.( @4 H* h7 m: e
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
1 C, A* \- z% B# x/ k$ qHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.* t" Q% G: U4 K
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。# j) K# \) a$ H8 k
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.% R0 ~% ]5 [- `3 l* N' h* S
Holmes: Granted.) q, U$ r8 l' [! Z6 F/ s5 W% F9 c
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  ^+ ~6 z: I4 M& m& h晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。6 S4 ?* \5 O8 _3 N( ~
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）+ d0 B* i6 M: e% b
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- U$ J  O& E) ~* ^拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。  |$ u7 t" r7 J! r
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. V+ W9 C# n- v3 |5 L+ qWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。5 Y( `0 M/ z8 l& J/ @
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）  ~5 h/ Y& }; K1 A8 c
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- ]4 ]; V2 y/ a" eHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。9 p# T' e+ Z/ {5 u* g
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。8 t' B! u. @- f- C2 n" j# `' L
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) \2 E& W/ K7 ]Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。' G% O# i  E. ^8 P) w
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）8 `8 i5 j: k: X
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?# N4 w9 s4 C4 a& M3 w1 T% e; M
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）" Y# o$ m  |) H$ x
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.1 `: D+ u1 p$ G6 x4 Q% h& y4 s/ H
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
* _, K6 O+ N- u- I+ FHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
0 R0 f/ X0 ~' b# pWatson: Get that out of my face.
/ i6 }' |8 S1 K% \' x9 |2 xHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
5 P& q! g- H& h5 t7 o: eWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.1 K* Y# b* y) B$ R, ^6 e% J
路人警官Clarky上场。. x, J9 V+ ?" o/ s2 L! n0 O- W
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.- \9 \+ D& F/ Z. L$ c7 z
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
. k9 D/ N. v" A! {得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
5 N9 w4 p" M' F; c6 I6 s6 P2 MWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?0 v9 X' l8 W) U5 a4 ?
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
+ e: A" v8 `3 V/ e2 n" V, X（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
* T# c' @( I8 M$ O. d% XHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
. E$ v1 ^4 }  d# S6 XWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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) x- U- c- M' Y0 k! s河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。1 U7 l% T- I' ~1 w$ l) u
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
4 U, K, r7 P6 h, ?) f" zBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
  I1 e( v1 A$ G* Y( K) S, wWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）/ I0 A' d2 Q! ]0 k* @7 ?
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。+ V( H1 w- M' N$ [: S
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）) S/ u, s! ]" a/ f
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
2 ^- Q# n( X5 Z, c# MHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）& ^) \& W4 i* Z* w% k7 C; @3 u
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
. Q4 _, P5 n4 Y; ]) I8 H% kLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.# n% [$ c0 t3 p1 K% w
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。# b3 F4 y+ y% j* b# i- i0 v; B
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。9 h" G% j4 A. f' _$ @
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）2 y+ X4 z5 Y: E- I* P
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）8 u  y4 f8 g) z: }  ]# @. i
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）+ J  x* n! {, a' _7 Y: T  ^
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
6 i: q3 F/ z% `2 RWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）* G0 ~& i3 b# B; k( G# c% b& @- G
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
1 [1 \5 O) {$ o+ x) s, QWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
( W# c5 w6 B; `' ]Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
: g/ x6 B4 D- W0 hWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）8 P! U% i! q/ I/ V
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）+ l5 `. u. @/ @8 x8 U6 v0 P
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）" d5 Z! ?: U5 Y9 _; t
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7 e& K$ }( k1 ~& E2 z总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……