 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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1.
0 n7 N- o' a$ K4 @$ B q影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 & t% }: ]/ l1 c
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) 3 d9 M1 t- N2 U Y
Holmes: I just picked it up.8 s# b0 ~4 i" n2 L4 Y8 |; f) ]* A
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
. ?9 }+ O) t1 [6 \+ `! H, KHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
D) n5 ]& \8 W& N- hWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
$ Z3 S: K! A' I: OHolmes: You did.. [; }( x% O `0 ~2 H' r
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) $ G" K# ~4 Y5 @3 b* ], [; @0 r
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
4 w g5 H' B& M3 C8 NWatson: Permission to enter the armory.. U0 k- Z" @% t7 y2 j0 O
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
' |" q4 t; \+ j* a- |/ I) mWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) - J8 M* r( D1 u2 K* B4 ]- }
4.
) x$ T: Q! i A, j) j拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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9 u, E* u0 L" A1 ZWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 8 V7 J% w4 t" \. _
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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E. ]1 L& B. a% o! [$ I1 xBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 5 X# e( x6 D) o1 _% q$ S
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 0 C5 D( U" o1 |4 y. r2 o
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) ( ~% D' F/ ?/ g" S1 ^
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
' X4 x7 p2 m% G5 b. e# k3 M* k/ e( ZHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
; k; m0 W9 ~( [- pIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 $ Q" a1 b* Y, K2 t
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
8 r: r+ T, a( P+ k6 {2 oWatson: Get that out of my face.
5 N1 [# e. {6 P0 LHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
) j) q/ R" d; |& H# b$ |0 sWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
( I( @8 T' {; o; W路人警官 Clarky上场。
; R# s' U8 a3 t' z8 y) VClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
* L" S0 V- g |" _' lHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
4 p$ _; L4 g; V4 p0 k- M4 \- L得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
3 c0 _' g- ~) [1 G, r3 _4 Q* U3 E$ cWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
" X" w" u5 s0 _1 J9 JHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 / m6 l" v* c" _6 r) s9 ~! \
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
: w t) v) m1 D5 k6 M' k) O0 ], {) eHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
6 x: T: J; p7 {* I, J5 [$ u$ {Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
3 X1 r$ U8 o7 c2 m! ^( t* zHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 6 l9 {0 G0 @9 l* }& P
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
" [: X. ^; B! h8 g! Z% {Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
. l0 i; H, h2 z3 B3 A& H: o. s7 t死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
9 B0 G: ~0 A; M+ T" MHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
" v( P( N; B% ~- g6 q% |! i后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
! j5 ^# \" y+ E7 a7 f" Y0 JHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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0 A- d* d4 r' l" ^: r. o警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
% a0 H% s! c; M; iLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
9 U0 I d% O6 X( n% ]8 E话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 2 [" s B2 v z; C# N" [
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) I0 A* b3 s6 y$ C( l$ ]
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
$ d/ j( ?; W4 dHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
. Q. X* y1 ^1 o' C" P2 e8 [Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?( }1 h9 b5 d1 o5 a& L/ v+ {
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
/ J! M/ T$ s, d% WHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) - [! Y6 O K& M2 r) X% Q
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 5 k7 g2 W8 G+ q) e0 h* I
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) - M1 X! N4 V0 k: u# e! b% ?
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
1 K! H) ]' G6 V3 x& s2 xMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) 6 l' S) E z) T( T6 S& y; m# N2 N7 A
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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