《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。+ n) f5 q: B, g) {3 b; l+ o
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4 K$ _% W0 j3 P影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
1 ]1 j' U6 \7 C3 YWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）0 |1 D% ~  C1 m. [; t
Holmes: I just picked it up.
0 ^/ K" @; F6 x; d1 u; xWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
# i( z8 B4 E" Y0 E  DHolmes: Knew I forgot something.7 m- A* e" }% n* J6 D( H
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
6 O1 Q% @5 @9 p* F+ L6 Q% aHolmes: You did.
& r; @% O, w% {" R% Y（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）% }3 X7 t1 X6 T! c
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all." e/ ^4 C8 G2 P& t
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- V9 P- R6 V2 g/ e: c宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
' Z2 H* p! H2 |' EWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
; g; O" i8 }; W. L* ?% x0 v. O4 wHolmes: Granted.
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) \- A* W- R$ s, R7 X晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
5 S# E$ s; ], r7 o; qWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。* `' A, Y& B2 Y$ Z6 n# A( c4 q
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. L( @1 q8 b! gWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
6 h: ~7 m8 Q( U& `. c; ]Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）; O# M/ |$ l6 ^' J% R+ S
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。) Y1 ~4 k" S, K2 G; m" l1 s
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7 w* y; @/ |5 x2 M8 G0 Y& d5 pBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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0 ^' f' h9 [. dIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。7 f, C  j- }1 G" ~3 E( Q" q1 {  A
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
7 p; t* c7 Y0 j* l. e4 y/ V% T$ [Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
! x, g3 J5 G- {1 C1 Z, uHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）# V8 u8 w+ G  j/ R& i  f6 H  @
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
' o$ q. {2 m6 I  s* K7 vHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
" K* F" w# {7 w2 Z& T- ^7 i5 }Watson: Get that out of my face.$ b8 Q( L  y9 p( x
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
" t; L( M6 ?5 b4 a/ ?- G6 {  yWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
3 b$ b5 l8 j& q1 S& j7 i+ A6 p" U路人警官Clarky上场。# H/ L+ `6 w. ^( Z
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
5 e# O9 K" ^! P! k: R  s- vHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）. L* u5 w1 z( d6 ?" @! S1 _' ~& s
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
! s) P% u" \- I; G4 m( @% aWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?3 ~5 u$ D$ }3 `2 N" p' X
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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% Y2 `2 m+ ]; o; R- o7 h& o墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
# A' D9 \* X1 p2 @# h' S: L（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
# \7 O! q  w2 \# d' dHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.' x4 M' X5 F' w* c
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）3 f7 A& R& [3 `) I$ K
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5 m" q! i) ^; h% j) B; D河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
& k3 \! z: _5 }4 u* t8 \5 v3 WHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）, g2 k  x$ O' n0 Y  f
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
4 V1 \. r; T, ZWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
6 W4 q9 n; F* O0 _1 m' A( U  `* Q% W死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。  `3 m9 }+ `1 z/ B  U/ h- i% i
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）$ k' \( S9 @1 ]2 D. P5 J4 X
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。5 d8 d1 J) h, D
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
9 m' F7 X7 `  q. q( J6 t7 Z5 ILestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。- T' s9 l" E6 w( T8 y
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。6 R3 g: C  M4 J! y' A$ L
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
  ]4 z: ?! g' |5 b) CWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
" ^: ~5 _4 t8 |6 Y* SHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）9 F9 J: v( e9 v$ n* {) x6 c
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?( g3 ]0 t# @. X# y
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）) {, p3 p" o+ e/ C% ~3 E
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
4 @( S3 ~  A* J2 QWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
: }  F" {0 o- sHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）5 E1 }, j; q, {4 B. c8 q
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
' V3 ^- W4 H, N; s7 k, W( bMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
; |" r3 j8 R  [（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）5 ^* M0 M) r" n) Q
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……