《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
2 D: t- @# L: tWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
" q& W& c. R( W6 A! h: W- I# qHolmes: I just picked it up., G% ^0 ^' j1 ]  ~' C
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）' j/ U3 D9 Q& O
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.8 g/ m  Y" q# r5 E* a, l8 `8 z2 j5 `
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
3 _' r9 E1 R& G" AHolmes: You did.# J, b0 a/ @6 [/ x& t
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
+ q- m4 f1 }/ m  g; X9 ?( c# q/ rHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。$ H! ^+ K( s/ Y% J5 k
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
. z9 j3 h) B& e0 ~0 Q1 L0 l" pHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。- E0 x1 {  h8 a
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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6 Q! @7 J% Z( G+ u4 C+ v9 }" n8 z. n拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
' O- J% P' \* J4 K! MWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）+ K, W0 B& D4 f# G
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* C; t% w# e: dHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。1 M1 I. g# P# H, V. E1 |$ m
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7 H, N2 g4 e" ?; F# Q8 K# LBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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6 G9 O3 J+ |5 d0 G& @Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。' G* v3 @  S% x8 O
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）3 L" [1 ]) \6 E3 C2 u( Z
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
( o" h6 ^3 p& {* h9 KHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）$ E2 x% U$ q6 j9 Y& o: n) A; |
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
0 h8 z/ q; |: o9 PHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）# V, g4 E" _/ P' O
Watson: Get that out of my face.
; o, |) r" Q( |9 HHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
& s! c0 u; {0 c5 y% C3 ^Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.. w7 t9 W% ~/ l# o
路人警官Clarky上场。  h  J; E  Z9 |% U0 O
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
3 L$ L! H7 _5 V( l7 ^Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
0 b& O9 d" s+ R% |: d( q得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。8 v* n# N/ z. x6 J2 P
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?  T  q8 q3 z7 ?+ G# x
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.+ Q' Y  A" U7 p! W$ O
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3 N+ c+ P$ E5 ]. ~9 _7 B墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
8 j& U5 [% Q- y$ P9 v$ g（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
1 i, k# O' J$ [: d$ v8 B/ Y7 o$ j8 y: hHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
& F, r1 T9 n% L7 UWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）, c, v! {) ?) s; }9 S& ?" W
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# ]/ }/ \" x2 W河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。  @' K( q, j2 o- b" [
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）4 E* m! F: L" D* V( j! D4 x
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
& L+ l) @! a8 o7 Z1 {. U  YWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
; _; B# u, v9 l8 _1 z1 K死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。$ \; c. {. ~/ y  f- o
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
! E3 X- g1 o/ l+ _4 E; t* [# e4 g% k后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
1 ^# D2 U, j5 f# p1 hHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）+ B5 ^! y' s% G) D* @& [8 C
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
: p. x% F' L  V: uLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.- x/ c/ X: S" j; \- j* `
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4 V& \* \$ u/ J  ]4 r4 ~接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。0 K9 e: A/ u8 n" y% L3 J  ~' v( D& n, [
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
* J6 q! U9 n# ZHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
' i, b9 r& D2 Z2 m' FWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）2 T5 ~/ ~) `4 \
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
9 x% s( v, C. W  {& \: FMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?% x* y. @! m8 z2 f7 Q9 f
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
& j( i& c& v; p" Q3 hHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
9 M1 y: Y6 I' I* K2 l; i5 `Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
! O2 B/ e! n; x: D+ g: @) ]2 t4 cHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
9 C5 y% W/ B8 Y* g% HWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）9 _# p+ I: e) e5 \) Z) X; H
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
- E6 P1 g  Q" w4 {8 t（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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4 H2 J1 q, ?& s8 D$ \: Q0 p6 G总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……