《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。: Q" y& h$ [$ [" U- P; G
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# C2 P) p2 i9 w5 S2 x  i影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。* Q) v+ T3 R$ |. E) c; Z
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）8 H8 T/ W1 R6 M' Z) u
Holmes: I just picked it up.3 N" H$ V0 y& g5 F& P% J8 z. y
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
* ^+ e! l) Z+ Q% J5 }* {Holmes: Knew I forgot something.1 a/ g  i, O; R# j% Z* X
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
$ }# R  n$ ^5 d8 d9 n3 b  I- BHolmes: You did.( @+ p: g! m2 G, d  N9 K
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）" x. E8 H, C3 D+ A, [
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。% ]! v8 ~: S: H. b
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
, w2 t9 s/ n3 XHolmes: Granted.
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5 V" H* R! u! B; H/ y6 k- `8 i晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
8 J$ ~) s8 }- OWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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. V$ u; n) p4 K" |拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
3 M# m# H# E4 p9 I& B' xWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）3 g; X! \" x) L3 e% p/ |7 P) h
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/ H- }4 I1 v% r, Z$ _* B* kHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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, \3 h4 S: r5 l7 g+ z9 b# }( DIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
6 L& J; _% E; d4 K+ r（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
2 v+ K- @6 s% C$ |) N5 h  x% GIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?$ f: \) j1 ~2 w! n' O% b
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
6 ]8 O2 t5 ^5 FIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.- h( E1 M* B: z
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  V" c% V+ c" ~- ~  h& J4 fIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。7 {7 Z5 W- k) J5 y: z7 _, S0 f4 r
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）0 w* G' [3 w3 j" l; U: A1 a7 w
Watson: Get that out of my face.
  \: E  I$ H7 J/ _Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
( ^- n, |, @; \$ x4 T! h/ D, K; ~Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
6 u1 t, L. [0 M路人警官Clarky上场。9 N' F+ G( j9 G# w) j. R' x! U
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.4 ?) \3 B' c8 w  A. v
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）( j) {. q- L% w) Z1 u
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
* ~$ Y6 C% e5 xWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?0 O' \: V, }7 F' V5 X/ J
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not., w  z5 g: h. R6 ^9 Z, i
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。. x* k7 D0 @3 d8 h
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
9 Z6 ~. x! O% U" q& P* WHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.2 v9 W. z% b7 g6 N( x
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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- W, O- i; V& e) `; ^) H河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
; Q9 k' U, S8 r0 k- q8 KHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）& z1 U% g. r! @# g6 l# A8 u
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
7 b' a' T6 \, k+ u* x9 }Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）. C& U- w: S; z
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
  @. s6 e; g/ d5 D" u7 D+ uHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）: U; |2 _: H/ w5 A$ O9 A9 y
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
) `0 l" w; U+ U( [3 P0 ~8 gHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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! k2 R  K5 i/ [# q% @警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。) p& v5 A  \4 [
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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! _) V8 R. N# {: `! K& r+ c接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
# [, t$ W4 m$ E1 U0 n* f: m9 D% A话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。' ~- r, A# C! u
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）+ D1 r& B% g% D; i3 Z
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
5 @6 E1 U3 R3 i6 u5 s: t- ]Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
6 p0 e0 z% I$ x2 w9 kMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?8 H# o% w( O% a  M: q& r; n9 u
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）- B1 H+ R1 c" m/ G5 d
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）& a/ j9 o2 e+ ]( E
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
; D- Y1 L" _6 p2 d( O( ^/ n5 PHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）7 f  {+ c8 f0 j4 E/ h8 k7 B* g/ Z
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）8 n3 f" \/ b3 L  u% E- @3 u/ P
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）0 @! p7 n. |) w% F+ p5 o7 j5 H6 T
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）; O; S2 p0 `+ u0 y7 o- |
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……