《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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$ j2 u2 q  X) e; O( W; [  ?影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。8 s7 t7 k1 p2 r3 O
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）7 P9 y- k" G' A3 B! I
Holmes: I just picked it up.
2 Q8 m1 @% g( d& ~/ K# d3 l4 NWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
) Z! t0 s, L3 G7 k; W9 R3 ZHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
6 X) ?- F! A$ X) x/ g  xWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
5 ], V. P4 T: a, i" _Holmes: You did.
5 E4 k- `6 }9 L1 c4 w（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）8 r# f$ `& X( z8 u' ]' }! i, l/ k
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.8 j: p" I9 p" r" X) |
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- H: H* x2 q: _- u( }- O宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
8 E0 B' u& r4 O$ \Watson: Permission to enter the armory.7 ]  Z: W' K  M0 _9 U6 w& C; m
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。3 ~% b% ~6 M. `% @2 b; [
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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8 |4 I0 F/ S. {2 Z3 \* @Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。3 A. E) Q, U+ x0 T( H$ ^- x, a2 [
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）) ]) [+ r% Y2 Q
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7 t: f6 {/ R8 g4 x" M* hHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。5 B0 p- C+ g& h: s! `( T
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。3 i7 x" o& v  z6 \
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( q& X$ @' J* l0 n8 Y( \Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
" \8 ?  Q7 r! j! Q. t* i（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）" ~- |- f7 H, x& t! m4 L- h
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?% T+ c* `0 z/ T/ a
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
: q, Y+ \5 s' \. S. [* ^, ^# sIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。) o+ X% u% S  _4 ~
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
  p6 X3 O# z" L* ?7 n) d3 NWatson: Get that out of my face.6 e& `4 N" S) U% k2 S- p
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
8 [8 [5 L$ f$ N& j' eWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.) i" ~2 N" q) t+ B* L- l
路人警官Clarky上场。+ b' v7 [7 a: X- B
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
5 ?0 j/ s7 `5 Z! ~Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）- u% L! u7 T. |6 r( n7 a
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
# P7 H5 h( x9 x' kWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
6 B8 v0 N) b' h3 Q& D: ?7 ~3 @Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
/ y, M# B: q0 H9 U$ Z（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）) D2 D8 \6 q3 i8 {5 V9 m# ]
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
: O8 j! H* N( l) N% f" SWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）& v  ^& x. [8 N, N8 p# {8 U
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
0 u8 [$ q& d  D' }Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）3 E2 L( e& f% B/ y; H
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…4 k% w5 z8 l7 q, G4 p+ K8 K
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）. n& e$ _1 Q% F- p8 |
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
1 A) N. ?$ ^2 v% x; cHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
% B( V! V% \3 `3 `$ h后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。. a5 a/ i" v) s9 I. |4 T
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。3 Y4 S* Z3 p7 P' J" G7 W
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.- m) R+ y% g7 f9 L0 ^4 C( @
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: z3 a6 B2 Z1 U7 s) [' G$ e接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
  M3 ^  u* x1 X话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
: U9 n/ }4 u! n. W# {Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）! {# P1 K2 C, J+ J8 c( J* k
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
* ~5 c5 }1 P' }6 n2 c$ k: iHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）( r, i; ~2 [+ F% U( y7 Z
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
5 U2 |3 x" U- L8 C! KWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
/ ~% S5 a2 h3 g# d5 U3 a! rHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）5 h, O: v, ~# J; I& c8 _9 ?1 U
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）: N- Z6 p) s1 l0 _
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）+ h9 v8 N6 l  w% j' I. A% l$ S( t. H; a
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
  _7 ~) j$ ~8 G" l5 M1 KMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）2 n. }7 f3 V; G( U8 t& a: ^) |
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）* C- L9 l0 T  D. u8 ~( q. c8 T
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……