《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。0 A3 B3 a- _6 n$ B
***********
3 a. r, a0 q2 n: ]( ^- j1．* r6 u3 m; Z0 `
影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
0 d7 A2 h1 s3 v  P* ?; TWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）/ g4 U/ ?/ y! M- g- l
Holmes: I just picked it up., m. |+ f+ j0 H4 B
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）' j+ k+ ?  j/ p( C+ u8 z
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
+ b0 F! m' i  ^; {Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）4 b' ~. @" z/ z& ^- ?
Holmes: You did.
' P4 b2 f* Y$ B7 B7 I; {（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
$ ]6 C8 c3 m7 ^5 Q2 C$ u7 ^Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all." ?* C# d+ C* [1 o4 ]; W
2．: g) p, m" Z" ~! ^' R
宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。' ]4 \8 y. T% {7 F
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
) Y! e- W' \% _$ \4 sHolmes: Granted.9 q- E1 Z6 T8 Z1 z8 l
3.
+ m$ f0 W# \# B8 w, s  S晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。; X4 W1 J$ d2 c, U2 B3 V
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）( y6 q/ s. A; Y; X$ L% ~
4．
! M8 c: {( @( ^" H5 `拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。1 t! i  u5 _% \& [5 C0 f) j
5．) F& g0 ?3 C- T% m/ K
Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。3 V' d& m$ m: [' ~( y
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）) {' ]& f6 }2 J* O
6．
) }, t* S2 N1 V7 K2 _Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。0 S2 h: s. C* t8 ?
7．% b7 T  i/ f  M" O& Z& y8 X& d
Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。8 |: Q9 K% [/ g! c# H) Z% s  d
8．
0 S, J0 ^- c" J) L& |8 C2 SIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。- A# S! u  Q4 o/ Y* f
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
& `6 A8 m! L$ t+ bIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?9 d! S2 N; x, d
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）4 J6 L% k5 T9 |" P7 ?1 e
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
9 p" T1 v/ x; D6 J- a9．% m7 X6 i. {3 ~, d9 u' `
Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。) o; J: Z7 k7 P# Y! Y0 @
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
4 _- q, X0 k, k# Q6 }Watson: Get that out of my face.% x6 O! k6 n  v9 p* o
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand., L3 G5 `! [! U$ u. N. J2 ]
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.2 G3 L8 E* C% a9 P# ]
路人警官Clarky上场。
! r  R2 D+ Z: v! t. ?1 AClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
) O0 N) x8 ~% w% E- l4 k5 IHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
( z" n( d5 n( \# C2 u0 ?8 ~* t' ?$ ~得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。" Z( ]( k0 _  t3 Z+ s5 |! s8 t& |
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
# ?/ i7 i% y  N2 m, n# F# FHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.3 ]! @; M, |- X( n5 T
10.
8 H- q' b: D0 w& ?6 R0 a墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。! V6 O4 E, g9 Z. z/ Y! n, e1 k
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
. v2 |! G& P4 v3 d* P# KHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
/ r! ?* i/ s+ ~' ]$ e' |2 FWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）2 f1 W/ I6 s5 G8 z3 `3 Q: a
11．
# W+ w/ f9 a& z/ `3 c* }: z河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。  I+ N7 o5 Y( M6 }' U
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）7 x3 K* ^  i& x* Z4 A4 F. G  [
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
, k/ U) b1 _, A! j! A7 O# s0 g3 \- CWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
0 \0 @  _7 r( \% D' q% _) j死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。. ~& i1 J* g, A. T* N6 c
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）$ h& o/ ?) h* |& a3 Y* N' O
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
7 G% g3 v/ Z6 N. ^/ S4 `5 P$ rHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）0 }% o: ]* ]0 ?% e
12．
1 h# }$ K0 N- u) s警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。  S2 m" ~/ c* e% g/ v8 J
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
+ d, e/ x: _( u' |9 |: `  A" ^13.6 u. }8 f3 f8 R' k3 i$ }( q- F+ P
接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。" j8 j* ]- n) ^% ?& `
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。! m4 Z6 I' h3 @
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）3 c5 N. h; X! o, X
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
4 D3 d3 s3 j: ~, [Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
6 x- Z* ?2 @6 {. BMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?7 s$ q0 R3 j8 P: H( F+ T, g
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
9 a& b; K  t5 N, ?& OHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）- |# o# T) b' \9 G
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
9 e- Z) L6 ~6 ]- \: {% }$ o) T% h. PHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
2 Z- _# r0 m# X" u& ^( A5 [Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
; u+ Q( h- r2 I; X& HMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）& J; Z: {  K  o6 g
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
' c# i* M" ^$ F9 z***********
' b; T. m5 K; i3 ]% }" {' D0 [总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……