《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。; K" h) y/ q7 M
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4 @" Z! K( j0 v: L影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
8 V9 a' f3 K5 l2 t3 a( cWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）% ]# o# z; C/ B, a
Holmes: I just picked it up.
" D# J$ }: H& N( Z* kWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）- U, T6 A; y8 ~; a4 {* c
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
' y# W% A6 E/ j1 l9 HWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）* u6 p/ `. P2 E2 s  ]4 j
Holmes: You did.
( ?, [) M4 J' T( a3 Z& f（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
9 h: V3 L$ Q) T# y+ c& X: j& HHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。  d3 C( C! e' v% i5 M: \& z; v: g- k
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.! a4 l  p5 B, D5 p9 j9 S
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。, i; C7 Z: b; e) Z# g8 W) ^
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）( K9 M) Z, Q4 ?6 Z5 W1 I% y9 j3 d4 g
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。2 Y1 t* \6 Q3 [" ~' f. t( u
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。3 f* c1 W3 k' {; n5 Q1 z: e
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）, I- a7 ~8 }; v$ T0 D) u' e0 D
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。/ @& K+ |& E& X5 r* h+ k0 j% Q
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。, e4 |0 @1 q- e; M5 [& N
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* @* k4 s! R# A. A- o9 `. q* P# pIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。, ^- M/ T2 H, r
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）& I. t$ W% n7 D5 M2 k% w& T
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?6 z! `5 j  D  s! L/ J- L
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
: h/ W0 f' ]  l! WIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.- o5 T: s$ p  ]* Y* T4 @* a- G9 H
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
+ }; v9 P$ K" g/ n& m  v( _1 Y0 XHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
0 w0 ~( v; ^& [+ G. Z& S" iWatson: Get that out of my face.
7 b! e# E* v/ p7 Z$ G' w$ G1 VHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand., p" c% S& H6 v4 l) ^# [& F/ ~
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
1 n4 R/ B- D7 \* f& h/ [) [1 o3 \路人警官Clarky上场。  K0 d* s+ M6 k) G) l# G2 E! o
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
5 Q' Y* C6 j0 `9 f0 p- ]Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
: l4 `8 T, n: b8 c# C/ c+ S得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
3 \# i% P! a9 ], A. qWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
! ~+ o! {1 `" ~, Q, q/ g: u. bHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.1 m: O7 L, y( p2 c" n
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
0 a2 ~& `$ G; ^0 N' I2 {（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）6 f: V4 n, T  D4 A6 U& Y9 |' j
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.# i& ?# ]. |; b4 S% i/ @
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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! U4 N; [+ Z: v: l7 a/ C2 m4 i河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。* P2 m: w4 R* ~2 a
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
% T+ Q4 ~* h) b) ], r9 lBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
& Y) q3 k1 M0 T6 e' r! O: }Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
, _; `7 [. ~$ x, J' i死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
1 t1 M# Q- a. M1 u! K4 xHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
! t5 @$ ?8 k, H, v后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
/ N0 G3 {; D% B3 o0 l  X( OHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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% U/ E' S1 F, a( ~警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。7 h/ ?0 K, [' I& q7 ~% A2 a
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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4 ]2 N  m! B9 b# m7 @接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
: `, l0 i% V9 N1 e话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。) g  {; v( d2 u( h% u7 r
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）' x! r2 X" X8 v! z
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
4 z. z" f, i7 L/ n; z5 THolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）0 P. i* w% K  R; W/ K' h8 k/ o; e
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?- R0 B& a* @( L: d* k# l+ o
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）' n# p7 P2 v' q, \0 q3 R
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
* @) p- X( @/ O/ KWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）  w# L- @  N8 |' O( v4 c
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
! E& n- U: ~" J: q9 [3 HWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）+ ?7 z5 K7 F/ k5 Z9 c
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）" E. j( x4 ]9 w% b8 l5 @
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）( [3 a# u6 U) K; N+ p* c5 z- @+ z- ~0 Q
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……