《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。* P: F2 c2 T& b( ^/ G
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9 y! Y( Q9 R2 R# n/ g) z0 X影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。* M- a" s- m  [5 o
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）$ `/ T! n2 k. z: R! N/ ^
Holmes: I just picked it up.+ }, D5 R- Z# m- k, d8 G
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）  a9 w6 M. @5 n
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.2 ]/ g/ p+ p) B/ d5 C8 O
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
7 a  U* {# P# R% D! B/ t' tHolmes: You did.
- c8 M5 W/ c, \5 }  }0 S（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
6 p* E" c! o) R9 [6 b& ~) Q; c. [* |Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
; V5 C( B! b* A" e0 g/ e: HWatson: Permission to enter the armory.1 B8 v2 y; W' }  x2 \
Holmes: Granted.. A5 K: k# l: K5 A
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* c# f8 J: y& k4 c0 n晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。/ Q" i  I: d/ ?+ t9 c
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。% j' V3 K$ h- Z9 h
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' q/ L1 E  I0 L0 YWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
$ l! f4 ?/ J% A7 p; N: GWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）1 k1 i; D$ i+ ^7 |3 E
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9 I( V( `3 {) [; o) lHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。: L! f# p) `" ?- A9 I  t
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
4 t1 i$ a* O7 n' [) u5 k3 q（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
3 x( B9 f8 S2 w% d0 b; N$ V7 ~Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
6 }; @# F6 x0 t# k3 O2 {Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
+ ?! G- m  J9 {' pIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。8 c" ~6 W6 U. U2 J. V
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
3 P  v6 c* k, k7 _6 A1 K( CWatson: Get that out of my face.
1 f; x+ E8 }5 T! @8 _! s1 e( v* xHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
! q2 e: _9 q3 g$ s6 l7 r" y6 lWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face., l: n& T9 ?! q# p8 R
路人警官Clarky上场。
; c& i8 X0 D1 c2 y1 b. G4 u1 RClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.0 g; ]9 r& S( P. R. n
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）- o+ `8 J# V5 B8 F# E
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
/ `* e; f% Z; d3 `+ J% \Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
( ]8 v: Q, d7 A  OHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.; d8 j/ j' Y' G2 E; m
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
# G+ N/ Q9 e; D6 A（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
0 e' h; X$ F0 ^6 vHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.* Y  M5 C) g. a$ b6 p
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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! q+ `+ O$ \& @- \1 O河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。8 ^: r& e- A# z" n
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）* }$ B/ P/ @% P' E1 X6 {4 N+ J
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
+ H2 F0 U' q; U9 w$ n4 y1 b. |Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
# c, V; B% Z$ k1 |5 v; O死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
0 j0 P' f) X# A8 X1 Q. \/ HHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
+ B, [! \# D, ?4 W- ~' ~后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
8 Z2 T  i" G- ZHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
! {* x& E( Y! E/ oLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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* D( j8 _. }: O' K% \9 N接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。" n4 j, Z" j( m) L  t
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
3 d) H( C7 W6 H) J5 V% VHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）( F! i6 K  G1 K1 C5 n- \
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
; _& p% k3 K) O, Y% \Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
- s5 B4 N4 B' P" tMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?' |/ S" N: F- s! b% s: }! K7 E; K
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）: w( D6 r' w7 S7 V( U" `
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
. d1 }7 s+ y! a2 cWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
" `! B" B- M, B3 `1 t2 }2 BHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
1 L% Z, s, Z! w" E# A+ a' uWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
+ A! Q1 v6 N' P3 RMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）; Z8 A6 b1 O  {
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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" T4 l: q* q7 Q6 N) f4 P- d总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……