《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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* Q1 X! D4 S1 U4 a9 r影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。4 o& w7 }' F) X. O
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）' E7 C: s+ m4 q% c- \1 ^' i
Holmes: I just picked it up.: B- ]# B0 j( B1 }# o) h
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）+ R4 m: U7 u7 P( b/ G3 o# z
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
  o9 K3 t  U; f; m1 G, `; EWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
9 p2 Y  V3 x5 s/ p9 SHolmes: You did.
  K- U) G$ f, P& `3 ^（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
: x4 i$ o/ F  Z1 R, n' zHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.) I" r# H% j7 B) s2 R8 u- e2 k
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。; w; O& A8 U) M9 b
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.# z7 z! K. {- q' C' u/ ~% q7 B) Q6 ^
Holmes: Granted.
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( ~2 b  o& G2 Z5 N晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
  Z+ r% z0 s9 n6 l. ]  Q7 a" h+ D1 iWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。# _) V! }$ A6 a9 s- j" d
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6 e$ y! N, z9 m5 b- ZWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
/ F; |% ^/ O% z1 k+ \: |0 fWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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  ^0 O" J  ?7 C2 ~- gBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
  @* @* @) n! Y+ Q! L, }（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
  J$ f7 ~# f4 {9 nIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?; ?! H; l+ M/ R- f
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
. L+ e; k* }  }4 r. EIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.0 S2 p: J; L/ a$ W+ o$ {6 Z
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
+ U8 g# K. `1 `* `& |  hHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）5 S3 J6 c# n* ~$ V0 T
Watson: Get that out of my face.* u/ [3 A' ^8 H
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand./ T; \7 Q" s0 F7 b
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
& ]9 o9 ]# ~) u( }( B6 q9 @路人警官Clarky上场。
5 v. N* O5 a5 \# G5 _7 KClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.: D. A. D% N/ n2 E0 E
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）3 |( r  B! x9 S3 X; V0 p$ K
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。1 a0 V2 r6 j) Z3 X' R; h
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
8 B) [5 O* h; @Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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3 @0 `* @. n- I) T1 H$ h. K+ _1 I2 r墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
4 I( y9 K! J! K* p（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）0 s) z/ U  X+ R1 H
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
0 i! W3 g' r' Q' z$ B1 XWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。4 b4 s( F  C9 X/ S5 u0 w
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）5 H* }5 B6 H% s  M. ^3 [6 Z7 ~
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
* ?* o- R) p$ d( A% nWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
' x$ Z2 B8 F8 C  C死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。% j$ L. x0 V  ]! x
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
1 @/ L8 E6 e5 L3 v% Y后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
7 K0 `0 p- C' U5 JHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
/ X  k5 E& x1 A) u. ]0 z& ?$ U3 FLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.' D, R# u5 S2 v3 w+ D8 l% N2 t
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
8 o, M7 ]: m/ |' E话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。' |( C. r( Y2 i6 F3 [: C6 Z# E6 V+ W. R7 D
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
: [' F! O/ g" v% N! rWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）- [4 c1 U9 L% ?$ T) B' [/ k
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）+ {# |. Y& W# C# K
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
4 S8 W- V1 {" P! \0 @7 zWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
& P8 _0 S: o- U1 U: E: s+ DHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
; o8 t3 c) r0 [4 a% w. i1 BWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）. z, Q$ x- D7 `& T
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）( _- i( I, d- O& L0 i$ h7 |2 l' a
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）) y4 r( ~( S9 i1 ^" V0 m: N
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……