《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。2 K- m3 N9 u- W/ C$ _( j' Z8 ?
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/ t  w2 m# e: Y影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。; h; M+ y* w/ f& h4 H3 R
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）* P# j/ L: s6 ?: i4 {
Holmes: I just picked it up.! K: S# b! A$ p+ m
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
1 E5 D. m. W: N- ~# gHolmes: Knew I forgot something.) M" e2 X: w7 m( ^) y
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
0 {9 B" Z3 O6 G. x/ T. XHolmes: You did.; J& E/ B3 E- D% _8 x3 C
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）7 }: W, _6 Q: Y; t5 P0 K2 Q
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.. m; b/ u6 I& J. Z
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9 O: A7 V4 N5 j9 y宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
) i+ u/ I9 O" ]; l, w5 jWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
+ ]" V$ _9 N8 ]7 JHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
$ f# S  W' R5 oWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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0 l/ y! g( i. f3 M# S5 P+ G9 }拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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/ ?' s/ m5 }# C  f) y$ _Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。( R: [4 m: x2 _  ~0 E* g# n
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。" u8 F% s$ i+ H1 @" R( j" P% F4 Z
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
0 p: w" ~  {4 g& B（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
" p3 i5 t2 F2 {% s) D6 e/ g3 bIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
6 Q% [$ ]8 p% p  {  V/ a. `Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）: d5 C' t8 Y0 @! S- b% o
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.1 h6 |/ `) |7 Q; D
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5 V+ [  y* D, _8 ^+ f+ QIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。0 g6 n4 f) F- r  n* Q
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
; c9 i" M! V0 D: T/ F: ]: p: Q4 Q% MWatson: Get that out of my face.
0 Y8 [+ }6 K+ p6 [$ i! b9 n: V9 mHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.9 R/ e9 B2 n9 [8 r
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
2 ^, o& G' R: Y1 b( [, D路人警官Clarky上场。. h5 U  L6 O6 V' |  G5 f# \
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
3 I' V$ r- K2 ]Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
+ v/ G& ^! o3 J% X/ @/ H" V得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。. ?: N! p8 p) u4 n( }5 T& V, l
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
/ V0 K4 S$ m" R  AHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
" M% E* o& e+ _7 j5 M（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）1 ]6 S( E* c3 ~6 o7 t2 g
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
7 e0 j& ?$ S+ O! s) rWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。: x, X/ G2 k0 C" I. W
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）" `' O/ ^! Y7 C/ c! F! X
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
0 G$ x7 U3 Q: G1 N" S# u* [Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
+ D( C: C" U0 y* w/ N% z* A死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
% }8 d5 |& h  B9 uHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
+ _1 ^, \2 I9 j& b7 e9 ]6 G0 R( U后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。$ Z2 F& P) Y1 Y! ~2 s6 P
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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$ m" J& g# w# ^7 [警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
/ [" A" U) i. ^+ ZLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
: E2 x- x' H! I: V% K- d话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
- b5 b4 Q, d) WHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）3 u& `+ ]6 q' _" ~4 u
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
& W9 Z* d+ w! _; J1 A6 R/ nHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）( m% R$ d; j- s5 a5 _
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?" F# T9 |$ W& K8 F% a- ?+ ~. P
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
- t/ K# f% C3 N8 m; y4 b9 THolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
0 c1 H% F$ O% B& [" ^# d. ^( |Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
) S" {7 @; m  l6 J; j5 qHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
. n6 o$ X+ N3 Z/ z* _9 A% RWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）; _, z; C8 c7 F* T1 Q
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）. c5 U4 g& a) D/ N
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）8 x& }1 {- ~/ Z" ?
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" ]/ `8 W6 G" B( ^, m- i总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……