《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
" Q' P( i2 a3 l3 V% T8 d& lWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）* W( E9 x% O5 D( v" R& R+ j
Holmes: I just picked it up.4 ]0 n7 e9 Q" A  X) W
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）9 X% I* r: r) c! v
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.9 {# g/ F  D5 ]* v. F, B( K
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
3 v; O% E( z  p& HHolmes: You did.
/ N0 ~# |( y; z- D（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
* W2 T3 ^( i2 vHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
, `: {4 q+ @0 i4 s- D* ]2 nWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
5 `* \* D# g) x7 A) tHolmes: Granted.
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+ Y* l  r. }- s晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
; x9 S) ]0 J9 AWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）* Q) X( x5 y% c  F1 C# Z; J
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) k2 s3 U% G: u& c0 D8 A拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。: {8 w0 x* L- C% i4 T
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。' p9 V' |- r5 a
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）! j$ j/ w% p& {! Z
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。8 L5 |9 x; B0 ^. \3 o3 Q8 @& ?8 e
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7 K9 z) ^3 ]% L8 X( t! zBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。! D& I* O$ {9 F2 A( @" w
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）" r, ~5 f4 ?' v
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?4 p, K4 j. @* b+ h; ]  c4 _
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
$ N# S1 x" Y6 F9 v3 xIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。1 a& Z0 B! g/ l
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
" ?# c7 S- V2 CWatson: Get that out of my face.
$ _1 D  Z6 i  z( a* wHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand., ?& A' [* }  D
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
: {; N2 p1 W" T  H路人警官Clarky上场。: W* ]5 ]8 ?. }* S, Z+ P% {4 z
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.- a6 c0 Z2 }2 G1 @
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
( _9 b, }3 F6 Q& `& e  U得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。' X) b) @6 L$ i4 U5 o' ^- h5 c% V1 l
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?! @5 x8 n% h* N7 h1 s5 V( e
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.) {6 S: g3 N2 M
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* @! ^: V: r. }- e8 y墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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: h/ x( E, ?+ zHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
* h- Y: o! l, X0 O6 R+ [Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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8 w5 \1 A0 \& y2 F河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
, p7 z, O* r7 L- QHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
- Y7 M! F# s; t9 ?% N# Z9 U% OBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…5 M5 e/ ]2 w( z' y
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）; w& N, x9 E) K! l. M' c
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
; j. e+ ]* W0 g: {" uHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）7 o& L5 i& ]% ?# N+ t
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。, Y7 O0 H! o2 Z* Y% t& l
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）7 u+ y% ?& L" D: ]1 n
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1 A: R6 r/ I, I( k  p9 a警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
, B/ e7 A' M$ \4 A+ _8 g1 ~' OLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.5 S0 B9 S% u! H9 Y
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。9 h, f+ ?, ~6 R* O$ |8 [: s
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
' C4 T! P2 O% e) WHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
# \. j6 P9 S, |% _- z2 v. WWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
: ^' L% t$ U* C- Y, q# SHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）+ S( O5 `" H0 Z, L8 Y1 ]
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
0 t0 l- v% d! u' n* o: s* P+ VWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
; V+ }- R) m; B# F* N* rHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）/ x+ k2 ^* S2 ?6 b9 w0 g
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）1 z, e5 r3 _" m$ X1 L. d1 `& `
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
0 P" v5 l+ w" Z! C) R( w8 S' zWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
  R+ n5 Q) x. x- mMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
- O5 G, M" n. L7 w' e（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）4 K' }: h4 G. |: A3 ~
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/ `; y( {  k! H* ]( ]7 ^$ ^' n! D( E' Y总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……