《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
4 u  \! K9 a0 s3 M***********# @* `& v2 I/ M3 U7 {5 ?1 q. X" l
1．
4 L3 B" E- a, N0 k* ], s9 ~影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
# c( b$ f5 F" z5 W' pWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
3 D, M: I3 H% _* T/ XHolmes: I just picked it up.
$ e8 D8 ~; |4 z$ H( ~( @4 @Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）( R, b1 U* ]8 y3 t$ k
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.5 G& ^3 L% u+ M4 E7 q
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）8 u% [- D  w7 U2 `% H
Holmes: You did.
2 ]  h% I7 r' ]+ ~0 c7 Q* h（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
0 _+ o: @% T3 i4 Z5 J9 g, K3 kHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
/ z- X5 [' ?" H3 c. h4 \) N+ w2．
3 Y8 K6 c  X9 i7 W" t& v宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
6 C% w/ o. M) O, yWatson: Permission to enter the armory." I2 n0 h3 _0 ^7 q3 I( p/ Q2 @
Holmes: Granted.
7 K; R, x$ o" H1 O# B5 [3.
/ p/ e+ o/ U$ o9 Z* e3 ~6 Q' M2 s晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。: \# s9 i2 w. |( H
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）: g9 [) v$ F; F# k! x$ a. ~# u
4．6 f7 p( W" }" z, h2 x/ ?* X
拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
1 S) E7 y. e6 K  G5．0 |/ Q& A4 U2 N7 ~1 G* `
Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。' h! J6 N9 |4 \% @, V+ g
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
+ J) R' D# A+ `' }' F6．. z% Y6 n0 Q  g; \
Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
$ t8 c, X" G9 l7．
  |% `" i& r* i" NBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
7 C2 F8 l0 v. l0 F5 n4 S3 T& u8．
3 C5 e4 h! D- ]$ t3 zIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。2 \0 p8 S8 T2 p! A4 Q1 w+ |
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
/ q4 x- F! G4 G3 G; l: A1 H* @Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
+ a9 ]5 a% Z1 _7 _. ~Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
6 f; v& Y5 O+ ~Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
9 M1 V% z, i* u# o9．9 p  ~3 s7 d0 [2 \1 ]; f' b& o
Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。* b5 g* Z% t) g6 o: X
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
0 ]* I8 A1 r. G' @! ~( QWatson: Get that out of my face.
$ P  p2 m5 o) K3 HHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.* f% m& I  ^4 x$ r! V
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
6 C8 B# f+ {3 {* m$ J9 n2 C# W路人警官Clarky上场。3 A2 v' F# d" r. i3 C7 ?: p; t5 A
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.; u- C- K- K4 [0 Y( i. J0 @
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）4 a2 ]; x. m. b8 L: u7 \  J  G  q. }
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
6 X$ V* D. H6 i" yWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?2 i9 D0 Y5 K/ {, c6 g7 H
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
" z+ T1 |. W: m' O2 T$ f10.
0 u  ]+ |3 s0 j3 x+ ?+ N% ~墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。, k* T1 V* S( I  L+ r
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）7 D7 L# S( e, \9 u) X$ F1 X
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.9 x- j( U* n2 N2 R& V4 m# E2 ^0 W
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
8 d( E' F6 C" P' }9 s- @+ ?11．
5 C! G2 v5 E2 M河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。; l+ q. f, E* U  h: W$ ^& d
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
$ l8 Y& v2 h7 V2 EBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
0 O0 {; c% d0 u& vWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
7 D/ T; Q* e5 P' S& X死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。  A+ R" H8 ]5 [6 P
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）0 S# ~% c) U& m4 c
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。$ Q& a5 q# v- t0 F
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）1 @! n1 w2 h' m6 C. S. ?: q) O
12．
- O' z3 U  b7 h! k  j  c* L警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。0 S+ T  L% I3 Y( R
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
3 f/ J8 G. r6 _) q4 V- B13.! ?9 R5 R( O1 A- l! |( _* {
接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
: D+ M1 N3 z) t话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。9 N/ ]9 }1 g* H( P
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
  T2 f; w4 Y6 G+ W+ c1 nWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
7 N6 R$ i$ J6 S$ a" U" XHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）! x. J- W1 `3 K; p/ R6 u1 n
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?, Q& [+ s* k0 ~# N; z- J- h
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）2 h! u4 w0 F, w6 a' g4 ~
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）2 b7 c- |5 j( l( V4 x' W$ }
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）; q% ~8 {0 ]1 e( @; @8 z( p
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）6 ]& q- {9 q6 f7 l& n
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）2 m, q; }9 E; s5 r& c
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
0 s) @) b7 g6 x7 \- E' L（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）3 w+ ?. b: N/ i
***********: `2 Q/ k& I- Q) c
总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……