 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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2 r: E1 f# F* _ \$ a影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 - S& L) o- j$ H0 T# J. H4 Y* \
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) , y1 y; b- ]% L- U9 \5 P$ g; f
Holmes: I just picked it up.
2 l/ S6 }) d! b2 ]- gWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
% Y( V/ b/ \4 xHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
; n& h& e, B2 r- [' K5 xWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
( f9 F( \' t d* U) z! P* n- z( N/ p: iHolmes: You did.# W0 C* X3 t; Z% O, x) S1 c; I
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) : ]. V7 L7 Q4 [; K* L4 H; S; h
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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3 I* n4 o ^( l宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
( R2 ^: o" C1 V% h g) ~" @Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
6 L3 X/ f0 f) |8 o5 |Holmes: Granted.
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0 M* w) r0 I! z; J" }晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
: c# W# |( c$ b# v3 X4 x% lWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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* K+ y0 G3 d3 b- } j7 {8 d% v拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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' g+ R0 K* [1 D0 m" k& |Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 5 u5 R: L$ J- c; W+ Q/ u
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 8 a. a4 K: y, V+ B
7.
! k# o$ |3 U; |Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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) p& E. x ~' b/ ]+ }/ M. IIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 9 T$ q7 k4 }4 e
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
' x e K9 `, F: T6 l5 ], @Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
, L U9 ]. o- `Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) + T. H) a0 `+ h) U
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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2 e0 E5 J _8 {9 |" Q; bIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
8 Z% k: o, T! h3 }/ p& M+ ~Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
5 l/ F# q% {3 N5 vWatson: Get that out of my face., r( H6 n9 n' |3 w: B
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.- Y' @: @& L& Z7 c) F& W/ K
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.) i, j) O. Y7 Q, P) }* {
路人警官 Clarky上场。
7 [, k- v s, `% \* X: d' EClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
2 F/ g- l, k# c2 E, eHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
5 ]% |- q- C# p" V7 f* T+ w得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
! s$ `' i7 v7 H+ F5 @& JWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?/ F7 E% k' L' P
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.0 X# e* b ~, D1 t1 k i, E# h
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
6 P1 h+ I- _- j% Q, T5 U/ D( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
! z& r+ `" s) w4 o7 ]2 Z- E# uHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
7 p0 Q1 e. \* ? h7 s1 e% J: r1 CWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) : b3 C3 R* b& w2 f. @8 |
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. h5 @8 f7 t9 z( D河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
4 U! X1 ?$ c9 s! GHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
+ l4 D& m Q. j+ dBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…: K' d% U8 u8 a1 ~! d9 U2 e
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 4 f# f+ X& }8 I4 X1 m
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 4 e) `( Y/ J! a ?
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) 6 v1 v2 a' H+ ?7 }, l
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
7 L3 v* Q& q+ D4 @% }Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 7 [8 V l& Y+ W7 ]" W
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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1 _4 G) Y1 ~/ P+ S0 [' [3 a* `接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
& R$ H% n2 |6 n/ h9 l5 k6 [7 I8 `话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
0 W0 ?' c9 O2 E3 L, F5 R$ f; wHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
% e) i4 ^4 D6 i) bWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) & L$ z9 h" c) P- y
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
7 \8 G: N* F/ z* C8 z# G' JMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?6 m, h6 ~9 x {* c- F" ~
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
7 t* P* t% R3 m9 c, j7 O( nHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
4 n" `/ d% J3 @% _9 U: ~ dWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) ; K6 C, R5 p) j5 W% ^. V4 l' o
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
! K+ \9 j% F( B4 {4 eWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
7 }7 s- |) c+ b" x6 TMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) / h E+ C' r: P: k. s
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) / [" W X% V2 A
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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