 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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% _, W2 V2 c2 _3 g/ u% q影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 ! _5 h7 B- O4 u- |1 A1 s
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) 2 E4 x3 g3 ], N5 J3 ~) Z& r
Holmes: I just picked it up.
: Z5 Q; [" z5 i: T5 Q& h% J2 S5 y+ JWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
[) b! T! r8 UHolmes: Knew I forgot something.4 G- i% K) R# |( I7 t9 q
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
: }; n/ v. @9 o# @" }Holmes: You did.
6 ^( Y* v9 A3 U- F$ Z& d7 I8 ~9 ~(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
. h2 K& X y0 t3 Q/ z1 hHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 2 x- {6 g. W: o7 b* D. |9 E
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
8 r& ^0 M' n7 T# Z o7 aHolmes: Granted.
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- q0 K, [2 N) u0 G! m$ T- z晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 0 ~) A8 a: \. x2 G" E
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
' p, b$ v4 H* B' U4 `% |Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) , C2 x7 S1 c6 P. |9 C8 c! V
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 * {! c& F* ~2 e4 i
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1 F4 E2 R, d1 _$ PBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 ; Z* Y( y8 r& x
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: p; ~7 x: @/ D! i: k% xIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 ) F) p# f- B4 a5 {) T3 c
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
+ F" I; j7 P# b0 |" k- Q8 MIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?. r( a1 M% O+ T4 p
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
' L! q1 [: m/ |. Z, Q7 j8 dIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 ; I L5 g0 I/ ~) H' \
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
' K3 L% @4 C6 ^9 a' p9 MWatson: Get that out of my face.
4 ^/ u; ?7 U" k1 X0 sHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
5 {3 B: C+ h% I7 L" q. q5 pWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
! T& F4 J( o" z9 u8 F( L路人警官 Clarky上场。 8 }' [9 j9 V% I8 U$ u% W
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
& a2 Q+ W; ] _6 J0 wHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) 3 f, l' E( ?3 N0 X) _
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 ) J: x& ]2 d/ M4 A' s
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?, r6 v0 ^% v, M5 ^- N; z8 Y" m
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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2 E0 L, j2 t7 D" B j( T o1 C墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
3 I! f% E. V- b7 Y+ v( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
, t" w3 N" U2 K2 B$ B6 _1 o/ [Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
* e/ i& O( A: I# y+ vWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) ; c: G# q& a8 t
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' ^# }, Q X: p$ V河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
: K7 P/ b: n& R n$ }" M& `# fHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 2 {- V, V4 H, f5 U4 z
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
9 A/ I" Y- T5 @9 Y( P) C& s6 v% m RWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
$ S+ ]3 d$ r& p) k. E; V$ W) C死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
- S4 m" k2 Z9 h9 e" kHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
8 D2 g$ r u' T4 _0 M后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 # S4 ~7 t: I, M) f
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 6 Q' K- H$ U; b( R
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.1 d9 ~& n9 M+ f P5 D! E, @
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 / K1 z9 X4 |( v ]8 E8 k& i& M
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 # z# g$ j I4 O. v* I
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
0 s, |; _& t- ]' \Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) Y) Z& o1 p$ U6 z4 {9 G
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 7 q* H! O; Y2 {) Z- {- R" w/ A* z/ {3 e
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
+ C9 G1 _' B0 g* {. ]Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
0 p: n5 G; N6 x) i1 J5 a jHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) ) v9 R5 h& G# M$ g% L& y
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) " t. j: A* S3 ?* ^' W
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
6 Z' Q E" R) A! m; g- r2 x# Z1 iWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
6 H6 s& m; p6 ?, ^$ XMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) * T8 `) T# h- e
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) $ ~, {" |. d* ^; W1 ]
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2 W( @* L6 z B, }总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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