《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。3 I" S1 _0 k$ z* x2 t- {
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。/ w) u, V0 e! O0 H5 S
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
% L3 r; h$ J! j5 s/ rHolmes: I just picked it up.
. a0 Q. a/ c1 s. gWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）2 E  M- y& V! L% a. x
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
* g! I+ O$ D; T! w3 DWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）3 p0 Q, Z1 S9 H& K- a
Holmes: You did.
: _) N" K2 j$ x, \% t4 u* L（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
( [8 h1 T. X6 B4 F! W/ YHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.. T( r5 ^/ B/ F! ~1 u# L
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/ }( W/ U$ R) ~: {* B' ?- \. D4 ]宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
- |. M8 ^) C8 u3 [. W! d& E. w& GWatson: Permission to enter the armory./ X1 e- v9 z+ ], H( }. K
Holmes: Granted.3 `1 A' g1 R7 {3 N8 [5 I8 c, ]: R/ x
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
/ f+ L  }( B( P% Z# v8 }4 uWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。) n/ e) n4 j' d, x8 U: D6 f! Q+ ]
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3 Q3 x2 k# ]' b& A' qWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。6 F8 C" d6 ]+ F2 y
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）9 o) r) ?* O# i
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2 }! P$ K* M3 \! R" @, h6 lHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。) c+ }8 H% O+ a8 g2 u$ L3 Z, S& F" f
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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" }, _+ |; p- L4 }! [% rIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?4 t( U/ S' L$ |. S' Y
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
6 |1 I& J2 c. s! f: B' GIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
  E& e+ Z) z* LHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
6 T' x, Y, S% v" `Watson: Get that out of my face.: v: Y8 a& O3 T- w9 k
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
# e9 M! s7 A% I3 {Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
- [5 q9 `0 S6 r3 V路人警官Clarky上场。+ l" i2 R5 \& L$ I( z( r2 o: M
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
+ Z' ]7 `' q% F/ e+ WHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
) a0 F) D- |/ f1 }' \! C- o得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
' l/ I: S) G7 e  rWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?5 V- V% h  d* G4 ?+ q( F. M
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.& q+ q. b, ^& {: e6 u) Y
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。1 n, _% k: O6 s0 R! Y4 H/ w
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
7 l: E# Y- V; \7 ~  K3 `, MHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.+ V5 ~) ^/ i% Y8 ?' G! F6 H9 s0 S
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）5 X% X& S. y: x& J
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
* N( K- C5 ?5 d" M: H6 Z& [0 EHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
! Y" A3 T8 r8 uBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…3 \% @2 B& `" N" m' t
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
3 U: d9 L( S; p死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。$ L9 \% d/ h3 ?% ]0 D; N5 `
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
! ^2 z$ a3 Z) x* d) M2 p) i后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。$ R+ P. ~) M2 C
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。$ q/ U5 _' D7 [  |: z3 A
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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0 l- u+ N" [0 ?0 D! C7 L接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
5 @" \) X% ^3 C6 |% I话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。+ b$ G! O! m+ [
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
( @% ]4 E8 }' H/ m/ ?3 vWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
! Z! N- n7 U) [- V: tHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）2 q8 H5 k7 M& f; d3 [4 r
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
' a& Q' ]/ M0 K# V0 F) u+ xWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
( T- U0 P! A+ I. ]+ f; n- sHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）* b" w) J4 t; O$ J% \* Y$ _
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）# X5 E" L6 `" K
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
$ M  K8 ?) x/ `6 AWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）) r# A5 X$ P( f- P/ f% M7 `% w" j
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）" \4 G# z) @0 M  C8 r; p
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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% c) @- O+ O* j; `' ~$ |. O. ]总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……