 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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6 C* |$ K& T/ k6 s4 W: M' H5 n影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
) u- ^3 z2 Z; c9 d* W% [2 f* PWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) ! C- u7 O) @% A+ H; O. k; P, M' F
Holmes: I just picked it up.% @- B, e* Y/ h+ u$ {) [ U
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) 9 |6 g; y6 ~/ t/ n S3 R
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
9 _. j' y5 h6 SWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
4 U6 s) ~% }- i; HHolmes: You did.5 O1 W% ]( q3 k- M$ D
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
9 P" U' ~: v; k3 }Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 ' t% [/ {+ d- N! h# ^) d! Q
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.# N( K3 B5 P& v* K# e7 r; X
Holmes: Granted./ Z8 a% }/ a" k5 j
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9 W4 E! O/ ?- Q晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 9 g' S6 J3 p( B& _2 t! X/ S2 q& |2 Q
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) : k- ~7 b w. a0 j4 U
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8 E2 \2 }$ {7 P6 |+ B, C拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 6 [ p7 g/ \" M8 v- x1 k
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 6 ]$ S3 o3 z5 R
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4 U K: P2 P; U! ~Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 $ c8 s# l5 t& f" B( F7 v
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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G* z& C! ~$ w M3 U2 v+ I2 rIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
{! Z% |. k# z; e4 E0 A' @7 q( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
2 j0 Y% U% n" b. w, u8 yIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
5 ]& ]& l2 J+ y" FHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
8 f$ F9 K( D0 p9 c$ B+ lIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
$ x$ n5 X1 W' J/ OHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) - |5 ~/ _! A- q, l
Watson: Get that out of my face.
& |: Y7 K+ U0 G0 K- d4 r" DHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.; b d( Q. f% v* n
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.3 w* A3 V4 L. h5 j0 T
路人警官 Clarky上场。
6 t6 x$ T+ J/ N# ?# |4 @Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. v0 B' f6 F, Q! X: X: m$ U8 s8 z
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
9 A( N3 z: i! o" X8 q得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
$ v# H3 q: \2 i$ A5 lWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
6 l8 \6 [1 Z9 x6 F/ x; P2 ?Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.% J0 A& o0 p& f6 l) O. s, w
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2 Y" K: Z+ H# T+ i1 t ^墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 1 J( c& F- z7 Z; \6 Y- i& ^
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
* h0 J- v; G0 uHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.+ W9 E# C b# o: X
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) ' E; J+ K9 R2 ?( m
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 2 [; _/ ?& s) n( C# X0 w' T
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) - ]7 z0 f. }4 \3 F4 B9 K
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… v& \2 m; {/ \5 a/ t
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
! H3 G* S' g( u8 ]* V" f+ Q6 Y2 q m死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 ' P" D! i3 K+ t% j s8 j
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
/ Q8 B2 x- o* R# ?2 I- N& W+ \ m后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 9 s' L% u6 w9 A; E0 R! E
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 6 l6 i8 h- l6 T9 I1 G
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* v' g/ q4 B3 e, S* K# |警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 ! N9 X% C2 _& [( t
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing./ A" u) m& R$ w( H. ^# Z( m( L' |
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: y+ i4 f/ O; U9 f* l: V$ v# @接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 2 b3 l0 J. ]2 B6 ~* X
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 ; ] b) j# I5 R$ h
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
+ Y9 ]" ^5 U; bWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) * Y/ |5 w* Z; H v3 [2 S1 i
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) ' w4 i2 G }! [% }3 }2 w6 N
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
, t& `6 y$ _, P' Q k KWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) ' Q/ {( J" k% Y" u) Q+ @
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) ' R: V6 u8 C- y# L2 L2 O$ T
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) , Y8 j- Z! U! L0 O
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) 2 E, ~! y+ M* F, h# ^
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
' l) f+ [- @0 g$ j \Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
" \8 }) n$ ~7 c7 Z2 C+ W( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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