《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。! [8 X9 [! A6 a' ?/ p
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5 _! F- l* N$ ^& ~3 s: f影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
" }* @5 ^: H6 i+ x; rWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
' V( t1 R% A3 @' CHolmes: I just picked it up.
6 \: }+ _. y8 R# R9 P: ]1 B! iWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
, {( a  P5 L/ B1 ?) i6 X& O: x$ gHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
4 [4 R* m5 I0 W3 Z' w2 GWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
5 a5 \3 C9 L' q. K) I4 |Holmes: You did.
; [6 ]! a, J8 M& i, F8 G（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）0 c9 m' g, O3 W5 y; k5 E) v7 G, S
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.4 k1 V0 L- L* h; a- J  }9 }! u
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$ `9 c. t4 Z  R8 |宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
  O$ U- O- [* c! n9 i+ O0 c6 I! y) OWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
+ n/ h8 B' c  n0 eHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
9 r4 p9 @- l# hWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）) s9 U& y8 W! ~/ _, a  N. p4 j
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
! W, R0 K3 ?- x. \8 O# VWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）6 `3 u( R& k/ L; h: P! u  K
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) l- i  _2 h2 d) MHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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5 V: ]3 v+ m  q2 p0 p1 zIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?5 Z0 _. a5 s7 a3 z; [; B  H. y, C3 Z  Q
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）6 N: o8 L3 `) |* w
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.0 R0 E: m1 x" k7 p" D
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6 Q3 F8 X4 Q7 EIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
0 j+ X3 [- _: ?8 l- aHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）3 V" W0 K- E! f8 P
Watson: Get that out of my face.2 `$ C9 @) a# h; W  p
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
" ?% H4 }( q: i% oWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
1 v. p/ o4 e+ H路人警官Clarky上场。, j, E4 X$ v; O3 v2 K- J$ j
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
8 ~$ }! U3 a1 D1 ]7 R( Y4 F' |8 ?) A4 sHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）9 k5 \8 o# q! K
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
  i) O( X0 z2 g5 x4 `Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?$ s" i+ J" x. Y6 l
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。% U" h5 u2 s$ `- G1 d0 ?
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
, K9 A7 i7 \/ Y* m3 m6 GHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.- ]. l. {8 _" ~$ T- m( y3 |( \: k& I9 p
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）% j& p$ k; Q/ z0 w* ?# F: x+ H
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: B: N- e8 P! g0 [' M- B- y& c河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。1 F$ h+ L7 A4 {5 I
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）+ \( O2 _: z1 h1 e. V  {
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…, E0 p4 K. s- P% i& K- ~3 _) V# m
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）5 V" U2 [& C! X* g( t3 z
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
+ l/ T$ S7 H: Q- I! g+ _8 h$ [- zHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
9 ?( E. w0 D: z9 a9 p8 Q6 G5 ~4 O0 S. o后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
( F8 m$ v$ D( b4 {6 C' I& m5 kHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。2 }& O0 \  |3 ]0 L  N- V5 B, a
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.) l; B4 S0 ]0 X: z
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
2 _, F% R: r- T% f话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。1 h+ f$ K" ]8 d  X" v( }
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）. z6 r" }4 X6 T* L8 v
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
. f! R2 A6 I2 }Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
* z1 Z" j% m# T! q5 |Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
  T2 X5 c7 M2 u; m6 T& ?Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）( E; k. j8 g) W: J& K7 H
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
& K5 E, [3 K# O0 f% \+ ~- gWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
, y! e3 y$ Y( pHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）" G) H5 c' E* R7 u
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）  ]0 O  z. n/ {' F0 v
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
7 G2 z8 G$ `; q2 p; F. h（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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6 F5 Z6 ]0 m6 p总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……