《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。1 N9 j$ [. o/ S4 _4 U, v
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）. y0 k- w' r/ X( J
Holmes: I just picked it up.: Y4 R3 Y5 k& E0 j0 K
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）& j# _: \0 y& m/ r! B' K1 Y
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.8 G* j5 b& H% [& z# A& W
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）% C. C# ?' h# R8 r% L1 z
Holmes: You did.. c: o1 P8 P7 J3 c7 `9 c4 }5 r
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
1 N' ~, h0 `" k9 kHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all." G) n1 W7 b+ |
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) v: r- s" B9 d; f* k宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
. j- M$ Q1 w* DWatson: Permission to enter the armory.7 d! `7 N7 K* z2 o9 G' y
Holmes: Granted.- {5 k) v- D) E% S
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
' F5 N( m9 T2 M4 B: f9 m. IWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）1 K& |3 z$ o* ^; A( T1 I2 o; j& u
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。) h  ]' Y& U3 G: w' `+ V
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% g/ v0 g  D* FWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。2 \/ b0 `/ e* c+ o8 |6 @8 H# }2 Z
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）9 K6 m5 W  j- ~5 A% |
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' K9 f' K6 l- d& JHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。: ~, @+ ~5 e# O+ k
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" v, w0 a( M) X& C* y' gBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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& f5 V6 X' E' t. ?: wIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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, M3 s; ~7 |8 l: @Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
4 X1 b' V0 E; p7 bHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）* P5 B1 `  u8 L+ L) I; ^* ~
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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% H9 ]  V( N9 T3 y. w9 s/ q, NIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
# `& w2 W+ E/ V4 [* u! ?. v3 g- EHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
7 z/ f- i" k2 v+ E# s& w, cWatson: Get that out of my face.
* f7 Y5 [7 C+ n, n4 n! dHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.# C+ |, Y3 w  e* }! z1 h8 x7 p& J
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
/ L7 N3 E5 |9 j) z+ z; |路人警官Clarky上场。7 F  H( J* I. d- b
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
- _$ t3 |8 C( x# H. NHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
' m  S1 ^5 Q* `4 s# |6 C  A* S得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。7 c6 G4 ^7 |% O/ Y9 R
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
. M  ]" ~' ^* h2 H# V, ?Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.% t( u" p: c. Q# ]3 [# J
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。* n. B" c/ z' L7 @5 V% ~0 l
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
% G1 U- k4 ^( t% P) UHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.; e$ ?7 r! p7 p
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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9 l; k) \! @1 r: @: o& \河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。/ o& t- J+ d8 t0 L
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）/ X' h& |. f8 }
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
% ?# M& @% X  ?, Z* _/ z+ OWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
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Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）+ ?2 \" m) y3 V1 \
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。, l! M5 [+ ?" A3 _7 V
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）5 C7 i( i% y9 S0 u
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) D( h8 @; n* D* K* X/ k警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。0 l# s7 g6 v7 X1 s$ t4 Q* z6 A& Z
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
; U4 L+ e! L9 F8 Z话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。+ q" }( I# ]- Q/ U& z2 L
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）6 f8 W9 b: G5 O
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）3 l& p, p1 d8 {. X; w* N3 I* X
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）8 |; G) G* F/ L; M$ P- Y- u
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
  Z* V+ H$ f3 xWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
7 X+ Q4 @0 @! ~' dHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）- F/ {- T, I0 S
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
5 P4 a1 F2 f7 z' X" Z/ P4 _Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）6 ]: k8 o- w5 i/ R
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
& ]  r, F# _7 w2 Q! F5 l6 F& qMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）; D4 h/ |. M0 `; Q7 C* A1 B
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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6 w5 f' J% u" m; x* Y% Y$ y8 H# M8 K总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……