 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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( Q( E$ C) Q+ Z2 s影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 ( l4 V) z F# x" Z. ?$ r: _3 V
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
& S: V: Z: k$ W) O; Y9 THolmes: I just picked it up.
4 K' t+ B0 l- S+ t. _2 CWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) / M* i; l5 V0 V4 o3 t" p; z/ r, R/ {
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
6 j# S; \: C/ H6 R D4 qWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
; Q8 E- D( e6 V) \Holmes: You did.! ]$ o( Y! S6 H/ h& S/ L: u, V
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
7 _ X3 u' f/ H0 M8 IHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.- m3 K7 ?) J x! {$ g2 r
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\9 h' Z" a' V5 h/ q; V2 `# `9 O宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 U, T' V( [* w8 Z- c7 M$ l# E& E; `
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.% N F- n# t! v2 |; W+ u. {
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 ( m$ C7 _' ^; C& T5 T7 j& d4 I
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) * j' b0 R) k; b! e
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 8 @1 P: [( Z( z# H/ H0 S# Y
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3 T5 H7 O, h# r$ L+ gWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 " y: u3 Y W- f% H* b
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) Z7 `: R: i4 u; f! N' L) Z2 J( ^
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 0 u- i9 V ]$ j$ Q; r
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( s' U+ a. J# x# jBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
. ]2 v6 W$ h! [( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
: O% v4 _6 i1 M$ Q( dIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? O0 V- M6 O/ V6 c+ w$ B0 R7 @3 `/ m J
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
: j$ {* ^+ ]3 z; t3 sIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.+ y* |: o, r" F j' g3 d
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 `! l" I/ s1 [6 T1 M% f
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
# i$ F" K2 l6 ?3 b5 ZWatson: Get that out of my face.
$ j2 ?; l3 f. {. k& J2 VHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.: t1 r* n% \) y/ ?, V, i
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
5 V+ m/ _6 F8 S- }8 u路人警官 Clarky上场。 9 Y T" L$ e0 G, G4 Q
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.2 {4 j& G6 U! [3 g% _9 S( m
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
- H8 t8 y% B6 O/ o7 S) p( a" ]得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
/ r) p; F& b4 h1 k0 G( T; IWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
) t2 l/ x5 |& S/ s! m- oHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.% x' c, B `% _) x3 V' ]
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" t) W: u5 c4 j7 g( H* L墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 3 s. _& T. S, ]% s! M: u
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 8 o" k, W: Q4 c
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.( D8 \ J4 k4 h# A# Y6 U
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) . } j1 I# y) C$ \
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
, S0 y+ h0 T3 g" YHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) ; {4 g) z5 ?# `! n
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
# \+ z; }* e8 K2 L* c( uWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
( x9 @# e$ n/ I) m2 I# r死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
4 S1 ?/ z- R; e4 j, T8 h" R- yHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) . T" ]+ J# d, f; j9 X
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 H/ {. V/ h' p( D5 I
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
6 } {& ?4 Q# I# I: A; E2 PLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.3 g0 n+ `# }3 I- Q0 l# l
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7 s/ C u. k. \! ]" K: Y# Y! `% t接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 9 I* L) x x% D9 {
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
" V4 H# H* A: L4 @5 zHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
# }5 \5 p! ]) T/ u {/ EWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
; _" b1 P5 U, Y( H. F. L! nHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 6 U q. {% z6 k! }1 P
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?" q6 e" N, g4 F, Z: t$ Q0 G/ S
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
- \1 G* f, @! n* eHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 8 A3 I% p. i9 T* J$ o
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 3 B2 N9 f$ s3 s# O& d+ @ J
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) 8 S. q: x& V) O( M, b# c
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
V+ X2 n* D8 d' i; u5 DMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) % @8 v5 z, U: L& I
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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