 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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: r/ P2 d! v* T+ c影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 / F$ W: B6 y5 E9 m- [0 ^
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) & W8 v3 C' N# e8 A" S
Holmes: I just picked it up.
# T+ L9 J! Y9 x VWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
: x8 I( Q: } LHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
6 I! a d; M* n4 z% W% YWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
! @; i# P! Z3 K$ W. |8 M/ GHolmes: You did.
9 F- B0 V5 m' _- S }. |4 I! ^3 ^(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
* C. H* P9 p Y/ NHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
% p" j! ]4 f8 v' u: IWatson: Permission to enter the armory.0 k8 J7 w1 B. g, S
Holmes: Granted.* K {" ^3 B/ c5 [, |2 s, h
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2 q( l2 Q# P9 ~ l6 h: w" v! d晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
! }8 P6 |2 ]% A, E4 I9 T4 ^Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 8 ~ ~* E/ O( M% F8 n9 i, g# T
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 ' x" w3 U5 G8 m2 o' N( R j
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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/ v! U( Z7 Z5 O+ ]$ q, X* f8 w) OHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 $ j% y3 u! y- R% ]+ a- t& W2 O; q+ V1 H$ E
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" v2 C; N% {) P6 G y: A, cIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
, D4 G3 y4 M; m0 j) I( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
+ E' \& R. `8 L3 C' t( XIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
' D# V1 h$ U4 g4 L! QHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
3 `, P7 I6 z6 ?; }+ u7 wIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 1 h1 i2 k- n7 V5 O
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
: g G$ V( ]1 E( t1 ] m$ \0 [Watson: Get that out of my face.9 B. A- f& R0 w |- c9 O
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
- e5 V1 t/ G- xWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
) d- m2 z% s) T5 q9 j路人警官 Clarky上场。 8 ], l5 `6 i; c: ^7 d5 F- Z* @4 E/ t
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
7 E, e, E, U; Z" E. \: k2 lHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) - i ?% P3 N8 `) r `$ n& b- `9 }
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 0 l& s5 Z, a5 `; c3 Z
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
( J) M8 r8 r; OHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
/ h. z; G1 i ~, k) @5 Q# D; w$ V( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
) _: { t1 |# V6 Q" d( }9 j o( `Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.7 S$ V* l8 ? g# M
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 3 ~& I) R" X" b. G+ S. _
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
! Q E. o7 `; N% H+ [$ P# aBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…2 b" _7 L2 t W2 l1 U
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) . T$ N K* s% e* }( h1 n2 x/ N
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 6 C: }: B- A& U" A8 u* s- k
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
5 L+ m4 e8 x! Q) [, ]' {后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
' e* k+ N1 |4 o! u- S5 Q9 H1 j( W$ s; lHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) y7 C I h1 i8 U q
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. z- j) G! I1 W4 ]2 W警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
, x D2 [ Z; f3 DLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.; t* J% |; ~! W. F# w
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
2 b, D' j, N8 I' ?" k9 D话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
m9 p2 Q3 } D/ A2 p. nHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
; i4 q7 d' _% pWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
7 u. _$ E+ J- C7 VHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) + c$ k/ S L" C) O
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?0 C) T. ]) Z, U
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
/ s+ u7 R+ s8 |' ?( aHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
8 g9 r; ?) Z* C3 WWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
, H5 B0 ]% P/ W# |0 s( MHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
3 W& _# Q: m3 o9 }, K2 W; |( ` FWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) % m3 \% Y- e, N9 D1 ?( Q& O
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) + }' s7 \* l( T
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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