《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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* J& S' \1 x) o影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。2 h2 L& B5 Q' }; I! k# H0 n
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
- b! i* p" k) f- h6 D* l  d* aHolmes: I just picked it up.
! r7 {$ B$ c: ?$ {Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
" ^7 [' c! ?+ g; R4 ]; RHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
7 [1 {$ O/ W' a: WWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）2 v8 |& D) r/ C5 U
Holmes: You did.$ n" f$ r3 V5 D' V1 [! v7 O
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
3 ~$ b. C/ T8 |" }0 yHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.3 E2 R6 e! D- w9 v! r. E" y% c
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) h4 A/ [# I8 S' Z# H+ S% E8 J宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。: y0 n; n4 x: ]. e4 }$ ^3 w( f
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
1 _+ l* @8 B; C4 t: f4 Q" b; `Holmes: Granted.0 {; Q8 s7 ?# p, ^9 y8 T  R3 A* H' g
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
% R; \. k$ ]3 h7 x0 v* {5 \  f8 jWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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* k# c  E& L: K/ D6 g, J' kWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
6 |/ {, k- o: [  P3 S; P' r0 f0 pWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）. q0 R3 Z! X" p
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。0 _  P7 L3 R: q0 ]: c# N8 j
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" k# X" S" ^, UBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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2 z9 x) j2 L1 s* S/ IIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
+ t! L6 q1 B/ U& b（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）5 M/ s5 d3 A$ {
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?! @+ F- s* I9 X" `
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
" E* R- A: Y( O- ~/ kIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
% G$ C% ?; A6 r8 A1 `Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
* [* C: P( m- U4 DWatson: Get that out of my face.5 F! D/ y! U) {. M9 a# w
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.# V4 D7 F& ?* ?) h1 \+ J  D- t+ Y/ {7 R
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
, j. W# X( Q' z3 ]% O8 W" u2 @路人警官Clarky上场。
9 V5 e' e; J* o5 c: n2 o, Q5 {Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
+ S% `7 B# E: G' z% U" i& T0 @- lHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
% N/ d, j9 s+ V; G8 s得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。1 c8 Z) r8 h5 E$ B$ [
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?3 }8 s: M) W! C# t. b6 J
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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* W. ?* `% e/ S墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
, u+ A( c7 z( |: F- h: q（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
0 f* s( ^4 ^7 s# h* s% ]% T" WHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.5 c- ^4 K# f& f: z
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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( g, ]- n* \5 ^, W河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。4 `( Q' l- P5 P( K& R
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）8 z; `; F, i: g; q  b( E% s; a
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…4 c9 J# I0 D5 W8 G4 _+ w1 h) A3 U6 M6 j
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）- W4 O" t% r' C1 J6 J3 o. ]
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。0 C1 S' M9 d' _( ~/ o3 ~" m$ T
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）3 R0 e) t: C$ L2 o
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
$ ?" O3 I- ~) T9 C' ^: uHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）/ w, q5 K8 _- L. k; K( v
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
8 y$ t% T, e( J0 D, {Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.: g+ L0 }- K8 @" N' [: I9 r
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
* l% d. O/ t3 i, v; k& }6 t1 _, ?话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
2 u4 h" B8 ?: c& wHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）5 y( I5 z3 _4 S+ g* X% v( G
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）  X( p+ }$ B, S( z
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）( ]( @8 U1 x* s3 j
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
) @& _: J2 |6 H% i+ MWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）2 u( W8 A+ {  f: D2 E/ s% O- L
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）4 T) W+ g9 C, d0 m- f$ H
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
( p3 \7 ?6 d5 B$ iHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）# Y- U$ }+ u% k3 H
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
: w9 i& }. X& ]3 Y+ GMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）! E3 P8 q0 ]: H# {& _( }
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）& F  a9 d9 }- T2 ~% i
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9 i- K6 J  f0 s4 ]总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……