《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。$ h( Y4 Q, a% T1 G
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4 S9 A3 o+ }' a+ |影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
4 v* r; N; p5 I6 O& i, sWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）: d3 u5 N/ d  o# ^: f2 r- V  y7 b, s
Holmes: I just picked it up.3 ]* V( g6 a4 z* Y, n" ]
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）. Q. J; t: F* }3 _" j
Holmes: Knew I forgot something./ J) D, W6 K, N" w$ U; e" Q" x
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）$ j: f# K4 q" y* U1 A1 w( x4 r
Holmes: You did.
) j, E0 n5 x8 q' L7 m& f( Y（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）  ^0 |3 R& k0 }" s9 c& t) d
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.! d+ x' }, k% F% ?0 f
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
; y% I! d* }# G$ x- U2 h' g2 fWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
0 Q7 \+ t9 z& D8 t$ |Holmes: Granted.
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9 S3 `1 ]& S: v- N6 h4 [4 O9 A晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。" L8 d& h$ |' c6 }3 P
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）0 j3 v0 s5 f1 X2 B* G7 S. R, E
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
3 R) V5 F/ ?$ {9 @Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）6 a' q% e& g1 o7 l0 k
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; U  V  p% F8 X. Y" Z) u3 nHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。9 O" o4 `9 x( j' w* G3 c) j
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
' _% A3 z3 t  L( C- z（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）* t9 f* a+ ~7 Z2 o
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
8 A+ {4 j+ j6 B% [" r3 d( I% THolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
4 W, g) Q4 R$ B2 w; {$ iIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope./ q2 p9 f. ~$ I# c/ }, A( {
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7 M5 Y9 k% V- tIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。2 |$ m$ B- `! \; v9 I! u
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
. h* t4 q5 l3 A' x& EWatson: Get that out of my face.
3 d/ I2 }9 k: e9 a  e& p0 CHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.5 |7 f+ ?7 e) r" K$ f7 y$ ^) O
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.2 }- j& H9 u1 S; w% {5 [
路人警官Clarky上场。
6 E3 G6 @& R2 LClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.$ g- X7 V5 p- V8 n# \
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
" ?1 I$ w% F' U! o  q1 ~得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。0 {+ ?- V' j1 Y: o% p; Y
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
3 H5 D& ?4 u- T, L9 A/ tHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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! K. q. R1 H. m墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
( {% c' o* B- a- Z（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
. f! s, o0 c" t; P+ N  CHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.( U; J0 Z! C9 [7 c& n5 ~
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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0 [6 P9 u5 v5 d' h. u* ]/ n0 {' s河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
) h, I% x7 i$ ]/ v8 r7 O- J; x2 cHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）% q9 L2 O: q5 Y* f: V3 u
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
  E; ~. S3 S% l/ vWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）/ L% E: d* S( m; F, I% f* ~# d
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
. _8 k' k, t( h) u) q8 FHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
  Z# p/ ?" \" }2 k% \7 H后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
' o3 {4 o, W. x$ }) IHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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. n9 t# u% q# [7 K# s警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。4 b; D; U/ M! q9 T: `
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.+ {- a7 `6 V' M. H+ E$ J& f) S" D; U
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
6 G, J; \$ n* I& }0 g' K话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
2 X- Y# d6 ^6 \6 b, v/ MHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）* d% L' P: H+ y* s2 Y
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）: w7 n5 o' M  A7 M( s) P9 Y( C
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）& v& t* O" J1 d) u. p6 m9 X0 Y
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?# {9 V/ g  p* `- }! X
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
/ Y. h* L9 {/ d! H' yHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
' ~- R% i% T  |- r8 B$ SWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
/ P) D; Y7 h" kHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）; q+ N" g. l; I% x4 d& C- i
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
: {2 ?* [: |& v( [& H0 X# {Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
. k* B6 z. l( I$ l（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）5 p+ |4 \) H9 s1 t' j
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7 b2 L' K3 W* B: Z5 P2 C8 n- N总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……