《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。, P" X& i* K1 E& m. {
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* x9 K4 o$ m5 k7 k& d影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
. s% k+ M5 ]7 T7 pWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
- ^8 s% C5 m3 z7 o" O2 ~  aHolmes: I just picked it up.
/ b' d" Z2 s! D+ B: ~Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
1 B8 w. j5 b; r* G0 n! z+ P8 xHolmes: Knew I forgot something.' E, N: z7 N7 {3 V, d
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
5 u2 S4 L4 q% j) I/ NHolmes: You did.
8 d: }4 t# t' c（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）  Q6 ], n  t! g8 Y7 ^& O3 f
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.% E! H. ]1 p; z* K; {
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( Q6 h" V4 y  }宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
+ s; c7 O4 K3 x9 W4 A9 K) CWatson: Permission to enter the armory.* ~* z  o( |2 l' v+ z, e
Holmes: Granted.
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$ @: T5 N) e$ i: J) k% i晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。; }3 ~6 f" T/ @/ @+ ?
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）% o0 l& _! l- B  a. }
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。2 p( Y# @$ n2 Q% n8 U
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。) s' ?$ h' U& d
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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* Z# L" L+ h8 X7 {Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。& S9 S4 F, M8 U# ^( N
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, `. V& N8 g) E8 W8 ABlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。5 F: n( s; {9 Y5 p
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
8 ]# w. K2 y: w& F- _, I- \( @（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）9 A( Z, l& S1 R$ ]; Q- {
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?; o' r$ e/ `. |5 ]
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）; P9 C9 W/ F2 Y, Z( r
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
9 }6 E& E3 }3 ~7 U: RHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）% {, @, o) O3 R2 n9 [
Watson: Get that out of my face.
( R8 ?' j) v# v1 w0 ?9 CHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
$ Z) j3 k, W& {0 U5 u* eWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.$ q8 w& T0 E6 {3 y) P; p$ I; D7 G* ]
路人警官Clarky上场。/ F; ]) @$ G+ g, G
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.# d3 i/ ~# U' O' }9 l
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
8 n2 `% m8 }) i+ @. Z得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
6 p5 v4 c  e" T5 mWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?/ O$ q0 e6 Z' i% P% k
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.# n5 M$ A" e0 t: K3 q1 _
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8 o: X+ B5 s( o4 E) c5 e% F" l5 D/ X墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。: g/ i% `( v/ i( q6 Y+ `! z$ y
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
5 S! S) g% M! g: s5 M7 |5 NHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
7 |2 T  A0 ?6 \5 u, B$ V" TWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。, m. n% y" Z" p! h4 z" K
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）3 t% f+ w9 ]2 k3 j
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…) r& W) F6 S+ }+ n( F
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
0 ?0 x; P6 t0 X/ ]6 j4 o* |死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。  e. {( w' B- c/ q$ k/ Z- z
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）# S$ x' l$ \' ?. h! L
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。* _; ]* n' i. X
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）1 l4 t- r& N+ v( U/ _' B, M0 w
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$ Q% w8 Q3 Y, s3 ~警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
2 Y2 \7 Q. _% z2 E# I- j! eLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
6 p& ~( ~8 p: D8 ~0 V: M9 e9 D( k话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
5 @9 @: |, V3 e6 U$ j0 V/ `Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
9 [7 e' m3 i2 e" E' uWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）+ _2 z( E+ h1 Z; K7 i& h
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）, u0 s' \6 O, d; X2 D: h
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
7 W6 e0 U  \+ A+ o0 g; g' VWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）; W  i3 p, o( H$ U8 E3 e
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）8 P6 P8 Q  L0 F5 N# B& t# h1 p
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）8 C; [/ a. e# l/ d
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
4 L4 z8 }( K* E; ~. E3 }Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）8 ]. @( d2 U$ K8 Y. U3 m$ o) [" @
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）8 C( T- Y3 n+ T- n7 f' H$ s/ y
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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1 J' [3 l6 `8 n) h* I总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……