 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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: j2 N- ^( t& h9 e1 f0 N: ~影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
% [+ O2 s' j+ g) t3 `4 e( HWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
% W7 \! B4 V0 |) wHolmes: I just picked it up.
9 x' }+ d7 V$ ^) Y5 c, v5 QWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) 5 d& a3 t- K4 C; c
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
" I' t5 Y0 E1 z% dWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) 1 J) [7 s1 f v6 [6 h% h7 h; b
Holmes: You did.
: e7 j& g3 E& J(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
9 R+ Z" W0 Q' A& N& j- q/ Q3 sHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.% |2 [, z" Z- n7 f2 |7 @9 j/ J/ x
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( f5 l) `' t) L) n; d7 f$ L; h宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 0 G- ^; F! K- C5 b' y: i1 a- E
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.4 A2 ]. a3 U" C" j+ a9 z
Holmes: Granted." w8 Z4 H; w/ g5 q" ~9 t
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. ~0 p2 [" A9 ]# n1 A# ?晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
; t! _- Y$ ~, Z0 h! t0 FWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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( v8 F) y8 A1 P拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 2 h2 { S% l; Z& `$ w5 a( C
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
; J, u; Y a# y; r/ u1 t6 ~& g( `Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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, a& `3 d3 m& Y+ S2 zHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 5 Q+ F# C7 {9 e% b
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: G3 V" a, e4 I2 Q" }+ p; SBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
! Q. D' i% R% N$ I( K: }! a% V( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 2 |" C1 M+ z& r( f& ^; `# s
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?# t; F- q% ?+ C% j6 L8 E
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 0 e! @* p. e6 i" v& j: Z5 R) C! O
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope./ p7 j+ l1 \9 s5 r+ M4 _
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 3 k7 i+ K# ]5 E' j0 U" }, {! s
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
, e$ p2 ^8 F2 ^6 _3 }( YWatson: Get that out of my face.3 G! T1 N& E% X. C
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.: j1 q- b/ A. b
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
' }! o+ Z7 N- S( } E0 x路人警官 Clarky上场。 : z0 `0 @" K8 E% G; F9 e
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.$ A3 M4 f$ s2 K8 U
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
Y. S7 N! W& T! u! c/ X) a得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
# L }' P: h3 }8 wWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
" [6 B) @% J r& N8 BHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.- B" S; y5 v9 Y6 @- x" A2 K/ ?. e7 d' `
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
9 L1 z. X4 d! q% |5 F( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
/ @# A3 e& U+ `6 A( P7 Z; OHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
$ Z! @0 O' T+ w2 N& lWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) 6 Z0 f6 ]' y$ ^/ u6 s
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 f' B- s" c" x
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) & M1 h, C: s J3 A8 K
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…% i7 N0 {1 h# X3 t
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) ) U) X8 x4 b& ]4 f* j, l& v* w
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 + z! m" f- t9 ~ e
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
) _2 ^! W" A% a. c后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 8 H7 L$ @/ d. S6 u# v; B
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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, _! ?% b0 q$ r8 R) ] D7 t警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
( P( d, D {% `# W+ D pLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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, K2 v+ q2 o& I& q5 h8 e7 c接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 ! t8 L1 e& R% G( c
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 % S* p U8 K& X0 n7 X3 ?
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
; }2 ~. s; ?3 P. N7 l' SWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
& x7 f: E& J# T9 K# `# ^9 vHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) * [8 A* I6 u- o) e F' ^% u+ L% t
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?, y3 w+ _- N/ U: t3 p* @
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
\8 J; x3 h$ }. h8 }Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) ( C7 y. C d. o. ]* l
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) ; y( I/ }/ I6 D1 w! T$ X
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) ! v3 x+ l) t$ N7 T" B
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) $ F6 R6 C. b8 k+ W T" P K
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) $ h5 l$ V% _% o7 B/ Z; `, s
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) + p* \) h& `# [; j+ N2 B% f4 T
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* ?, X# ~7 F' T B' F, e& u总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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