《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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3 b* O3 Z+ W1 W影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
# |' \& d  m0 Q9 l+ J( _; \) D7 ^Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
5 m4 q) v* S" R* p. Z6 ^0 w* GHolmes: I just picked it up.
5 o; z' \, u* _0 F& ^" J/ z- XWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
7 H: b0 O4 ^0 v8 s4 b& \" Y" t7 NHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
1 ~+ S* C5 m/ }. [- M7 ~Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
- j6 W- |3 `, h. vHolmes: You did.! Z1 j2 B/ H! U, u  q7 B
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）( P& i/ k8 u2 G& R- K) W' M3 K
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.# i3 w( T( c' b+ |# x, O2 D- N8 F/ g) W
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
! H2 n$ c" i6 c& m* z/ hWatson: Permission to enter the armory., Z8 B: _- N8 F! ^* O7 {" \
Holmes: Granted.  S4 @# }2 ]# N
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, A& M; z7 N% N& }! {晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
! z4 H! E+ T- T# \Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）" M0 r( D" |" E9 z
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* U& _8 y) F% P3 h拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。* Y& h) m5 i3 s8 a/ E
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8 z6 X/ M. ^6 j2 Z5 UWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
& J( G/ Q) Q5 f9 TWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）) N" p* q6 b" F& n, F) {
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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! K& j& p2 K7 D2 q4 ]Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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) G: C) `/ C! `' t' a+ PIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
8 m6 j; ^* {/ q6 w& ?（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
& @/ p/ H6 V$ E. h" T/ s2 }Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
! p9 T7 t1 e! O3 IHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
. P  c( S; k5 k4 D) k! H! O) c- jIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。. f8 v, [! {; d3 J9 V. N/ Y
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
9 S, y" L; K# w1 w* g3 M0 A2 PWatson: Get that out of my face.( ^7 h" Z( G# |! M
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand." N3 ^( m- S4 p* W' p
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
+ i- \8 s; w$ k6 s' R( u  o3 F路人警官Clarky上场。1 k0 a9 _9 J/ i- a' E( F: k
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.+ m$ D7 U6 K  b3 ^, z
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
; ]) Y0 H  @# u4 \" K& u得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。, i* l1 I0 J7 t1 R4 o
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?) {4 ]0 G( x# I! t4 g2 M. h
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.( n' O0 _, _) X, s$ N4 E
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8 {% r' N/ b% \) L  q墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。9 z& ^% Q( R' R: m7 H- W
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
, g' a( y  n# a. F3 y' QHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
' c. @7 Z  Y( O6 }" M( p& R& ?0 C; k- FWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）- r7 a% B' I8 i9 r' ^
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
5 t: s3 d5 S7 r7 C+ G& B8 LHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）- K/ @% D. T+ g* W0 {  ?# w
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…. X4 ~  \3 k5 j, K+ N
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
1 R: D% E. u* w; q& ?& `( p0 y9 }% s死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
/ r+ `% }- B/ a# `  ?Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
: i. v3 {6 L( B6 {" ^0 G, T后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。3 h$ f4 h& u5 S5 k5 G* u
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。- @- D; y% L0 t
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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  |1 \: V6 U( @5 O接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
& W$ G& D' G' w) ~2 G* U' q话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。- e3 {/ Q. x9 s4 o
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）8 R' K! T( [" t3 U( v, q) M0 B, l
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）# E7 w; P' A* U6 ~
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
# {: T% P" C2 t) u/ F$ tMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
9 G" n1 |; g  C# ?8 NWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）' @7 d# v2 q$ s( S5 ~* j, Q: K! e
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
+ R7 \2 U! V2 N( S0 k1 jWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）5 h6 e* H. J; a  m9 i9 ?6 L
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）' L2 `* s4 W* [
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
+ |. [: c' h' J! P; JMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
2 g" q3 c* f& T( n（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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3 |* M; v, I* V! ]+ ^) @$ }: X总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……