《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。' ]4 T" a+ N# l8 A  P
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
! o7 J# b; F# q) f7 BWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
( }5 [' x& [' FHolmes: I just picked it up.
# ~5 e3 `9 S9 S, f' i% N! yWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
$ v/ v) I/ M4 o7 ^Holmes: Knew I forgot something.  u, s" H9 C3 g' m
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
! w" C1 F! D: IHolmes: You did.
" U1 k) g' Z! x) l' Z（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
5 k7 T1 B3 X$ J( S6 o$ c9 hHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.2 K. r; U# z$ A9 j7 R
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5 d) k+ p3 k' H2 q% p6 w" H宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
$ \5 R- }) |/ N5 vWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
& _5 z$ F. p3 t4 hHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。/ }( q5 ]$ i. a, J, o! i( a' c
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）& U. l0 t5 R) p
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, g; P2 }, b2 F/ w% ]- E2 ?拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。4 W  {$ [# A% c0 a' `* g
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+ [& Z* [6 r' p. UWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。& T: i2 X  e; b3 u6 r/ _( E# J, u. M
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）1 d4 b- Z. M# p( E
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6 L0 V0 N8 F. M! vHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。( q+ ^; l( i, N- Z
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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* [; y& j! w& N9 z& H& P2 l: t! AIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
3 ]; X" ]' Q" t( `- D" J, x（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）' y, s0 u% i4 Z$ F; W" m) N
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
3 m; `+ w& D8 t/ v; m3 WHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）3 T; Y; B8 C8 C) G  y
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope., J' E( X8 n5 u$ i' z. o
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. I1 b- W; v( o  e* x4 i" r/ k* jIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。/ K  e, o" }2 ^4 H# n' S
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
5 a8 K1 \; [& xWatson: Get that out of my face.' u$ p8 i/ z$ a. u+ ~) p& i
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.8 ?  _7 I: R/ O# ?
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
  C3 P! J% E0 ^( w7 T. d: j; _路人警官Clarky上场。1 U6 R  a( H0 y' P; Q+ ^
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
( @3 ?+ W; ?! S% ]Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
; T2 f  F$ H2 G& y7 u+ s得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。$ Z& ]8 V+ Q3 \& p
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?% E$ C; b  x4 C& p
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not./ r" H2 b5 W% O; C5 k- }+ g0 j2 r
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; K1 A/ y* w# H% m墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。6 Y4 g! x# w5 z' x' _) [
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）, o8 x. m6 M8 G% n
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.* f/ |1 M. k4 q$ Z+ s2 t
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）4 V! o, z, S7 S
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。2 ]4 I" O  e9 l1 H  }: |
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
4 c1 ^  g+ I& p5 m3 t  D" q! rBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…- [0 \9 V; y; T7 v; `, U* R
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）2 k) C; w0 f( N- w( v
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
* m% b$ |) ?$ @; a/ pHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
% ?& |$ l, ?) h0 D0 @: T后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
  K. Z* U7 V, U! |3 V4 nHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。6 t& N" i" e& U1 \) L
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.7 b+ V' X7 X: w( P" m) z$ ~
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# i! F* a$ \* J% R接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。" {2 P& x: B9 U, W9 x6 o
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
6 x0 v8 g6 e2 t& f  f! o+ E: vHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
& P/ C& A: l  N% RWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
! h* I  d# c5 K; t; @& yHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）; c  ]2 f+ b: I" F7 k5 T8 d
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?( f0 r7 S! \) U6 q  U7 _
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
8 o1 c; [  ]: V* yHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
5 y+ d8 m0 N  MWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
& P0 s6 n0 k8 b' d  S4 T2 tHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
4 _$ B) G* g# Z! `Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）4 }  |+ S' P3 q* R5 O' |% \! j
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
3 i/ P2 X6 p% N+ x3 B2 Z1 @; Y( ~（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）  @2 ?9 `' z2 ~( h. |: ?& C$ T
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……