《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。- Z; q( _7 ]8 w( C: y
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
. i/ g0 q* F9 v- U9 HHolmes: I just picked it up.9 e. Q2 k/ U- F: R! Y+ o4 G6 z
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
) [# C: u" {! @Holmes: Knew I forgot something.0 w# A8 ^0 v% k( c
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）/ X& k' w, D& I6 u+ A  `; P2 W
Holmes: You did.
: d. A; I3 @; _& T; m  d! W（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
) t4 ^0 T) \3 C9 KHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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+ A: y2 P. Q7 h- D4 }  F: S& p宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
9 Z0 u( I5 w  |7 N6 c+ _Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
7 J5 n- q; Y* t5 OHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。0 w9 _% Z9 r& _* ~2 t% U
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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) L6 T; j8 P$ z" S拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。0 Z4 w# @# x; i& F8 W
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
; p2 \0 i4 y& V% iWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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' h+ U2 w# B* U; I% eBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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$ C: ~( A- h* Y* }8 [2 lIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
& H6 i% Z5 F4 Y) I  c（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
! k! \- f( q; A3 p- KIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?9 T+ y; j+ E; g4 d
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
% O- h  X3 w! x% P. ~Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.- p0 x! e) Z* j- ^0 n0 {" t
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
, y" ^+ z, f# |6 z8 o% rHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）" E4 d* e  d. B3 W0 T
Watson: Get that out of my face.
4 O' b+ L! _5 K( x- AHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
# ^9 n1 s  n/ |. S1 \4 BWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
9 A, q$ d7 \9 @  O& |4 K路人警官Clarky上场。* `  r! Z' }% v8 J  J! v
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
7 H/ O* K4 q4 J( J+ BHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
" ^3 u. o! z, y得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。' Y5 A( B+ Z0 w6 G# H
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?4 }/ y% e5 I0 L2 d1 W7 \+ A
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.$ m+ C* N  g  |/ R' r( @$ I4 K
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+ d+ y/ x% }; W墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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9 B( T- K; q! n0 S7 s/ T8 N8 \0 sHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
# R6 W6 L# C7 u$ F1 W0 {5 ^Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）  k+ y; Y/ z2 z3 }
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5 A3 K1 A7 p5 z河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。: _7 p; j6 V7 g% g1 j8 J
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）' E0 k' e2 j/ q* Z9 _% k* @4 m  k
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…4 D  n* |6 D( @; N, i$ b/ G
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
/ H. P. C9 o* c死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
6 U& j, E; O6 [" J" qHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）1 r0 Z* T$ h& H! J
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
) w- `* a( ?" s& x9 @" ~6 {8 k" D8 ZHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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/ C( }5 \3 O" A警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。9 G$ A1 p9 x( Q! n/ Z
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.$ h) S2 ]+ r3 t. g8 D
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
* h0 i/ J6 s' ]& }% U* J话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
, }1 @, t0 H9 B3 ~Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
0 ]0 N: o: X0 t  ?3 }$ `  u2 _Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）) B0 ~: [3 G% N% E9 N, u0 S
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
- n# L! c4 l. `9 EMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?9 A/ ]! M* h  ~; |# f1 v0 z$ c! Y
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
2 e7 R7 M* y, k4 PHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）1 k! k' Y7 s+ S1 L9 T% @: f, J
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）0 n/ O. J) o" I$ c+ B1 I; E
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
4 l0 x5 G0 y  e7 w) OWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
# u: ~$ B& {$ @- _% U5 TMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）8 W2 J+ R9 C  ^# e1 u
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）6 I* ]5 d; l3 z5 c, j! X
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1 ~7 ], J3 l2 O. p% T总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……