《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。0 w$ y$ m. u0 X+ R, V, U
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) D3 I5 G: G( w* g8 H: }+ a& k4 p影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。" W. N+ Y  k- ^" n7 V7 \; _
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）; Q- W0 W' S: o! i4 [) y5 y' A  ]
Holmes: I just picked it up.
  }: p* V2 i; l# l1 _Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）, ~! p- G& _! i- X7 W
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
$ |$ ^! |0 e! o# K) EWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）+ D: Y& a* o' B) |- W
Holmes: You did., i7 d* A/ j: l( [
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）9 `2 F. h' y7 v& z1 F! @% g
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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2 h/ ?6 Q8 V) ~, `宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。+ a" b& I. B5 S5 I
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
# M! r1 A1 N' FHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
. n% G& _; j) A0 N& GWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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4 }, C, Q; ^# f; {0 T拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。5 }; B3 @: F5 E1 @7 u
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
8 @0 Q7 q, Z: F- s- WWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
$ ?- k6 s& _+ R8 M1 l5 u; N( |（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
! x8 N# N. l% |Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?6 o7 r4 N1 N( i' y9 r! i
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）/ n4 q$ L* }7 V' \
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.+ i: b7 M1 |8 q; {; b/ b! |
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
% z" u; m( X1 C" Q6 l0 eHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）: v' D  p, ^4 X
Watson: Get that out of my face.. R" y% N( {4 e* q; v+ c+ P8 T
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
+ {' s8 x! U+ k3 A+ ~. a. B' jWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.# N7 H6 P, N. z1 f9 {3 ~
路人警官Clarky上场。
( N. g6 r' C4 T1 N9 ~Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.$ m% P) t5 V0 j4 h- W
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）+ a. P( ?+ G4 ^% V: U3 N3 M4 `
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
4 x* a: t. m! f3 u4 r4 Z$ [* l9 UWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?) L$ e* m" d- Y* f3 o! l4 S
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。. D% X# s/ f1 A# _
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
+ b& o3 n5 x5 l$ Q+ Z! Q( Q6 l3 }2 C! PHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
6 N! w& `4 T4 f+ Y' E0 |Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）5 q2 V8 d) o9 ^1 i. {$ ~
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$ y' K+ I7 S/ U河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。$ T; U; L8 R2 {: `3 x$ Y
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
$ p, T* ]$ T+ Q4 u" d+ pBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
. G1 p3 a1 v2 N$ v4 @8 m5 @Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
. j5 }+ _3 W& i9 l) H死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
# D& u  G: e) p; }: f+ u# OHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）  |" f: y! f! B% v. i4 A1 L
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。5 S8 K) R0 s$ b
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）! s2 Q, Q" F& B; y" [
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。( u) T6 V! X% l" N2 }% q
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.4 v" P. z) m' f! K6 B% B, E7 S
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
" q, d' K3 [8 N+ p话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。6 {, l7 {* _4 I) k/ Q
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）% O8 Q! m8 q: m0 b. f
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）( J+ @# R) x6 ]* w) Z
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
  T) q9 ^' M3 u4 Y/ \# OMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?5 ?6 Z8 v- Z2 A
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）: c0 ?+ e* T  y" J
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
+ b4 W0 u3 \0 ^% P* eWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
) I8 M( ?% Z' |Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）. Y2 B) y3 W' {. m
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
- ~( S7 z1 i0 GMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）8 C$ Y" }' G$ d
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）4 r! ^6 X6 Y# I$ }. D1 f5 K  ?
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……