《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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  W0 E" Y  z4 n影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
1 y% K2 @9 v2 }/ s2 |" IWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）0 X* G0 H  B. f$ d% Q$ Y
Holmes: I just picked it up.( j! p5 W6 e1 }# }1 w8 T6 z, P. R
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
! s- l; s+ i  T7 S' c% C) P; sHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
4 M* ~/ H5 `9 [Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）# s- v6 j; t* K5 r" D' [
Holmes: You did.
* p( A6 m( o& A$ ?$ G' A（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
. L' G9 Z+ c( E; xHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.& v' ?. X7 q& J; Y+ X7 n
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
4 L2 Z# {$ {) @Watson: Permission to enter the armory.2 A) q9 z6 z$ R1 ?) s  u" S
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
# @2 A* ]8 j$ @( P, ~6 M8 eWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）, h# j8 U$ @# p8 S( m' ~0 W3 `
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。9 M+ }9 M0 s  E6 X  e& S
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3 q: D1 {1 X1 W; HWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
. Z0 r* s- g/ B& e4 ^- m- t; QWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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& g9 z7 Q* p3 I: A& ~Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。$ i. H. v+ Z" V& z3 ]3 R
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; I& q$ ]5 V' b( R+ E/ V/ HBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。1 H% b; Z( C  Q
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。* J; d' T- Y3 Z+ y
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）5 t7 R9 ^6 O- E( ~$ u- b8 J
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?% R/ F: M2 B. y+ `+ E
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
& i) l) M$ ?6 _) R( S& y% V8 JIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。" U9 T  B  y0 e
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
/ a" M' E$ [; G8 W7 N  bWatson: Get that out of my face.# p  ~( ^; b* j1 O) |$ c5 q
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
; g& Z0 G5 Z# lWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
$ ^; W, E# n3 E- u; R; L路人警官Clarky上场。4 H8 l1 S+ F8 S9 F9 M6 l
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.6 O9 @* C& z9 t4 _- o7 J/ T1 a
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
# J3 a, L: D! d$ E) {& U得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。1 S+ L1 m2 j% q" d( A
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?3 m" {. p3 @& X& |" t$ d8 S
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.7 P8 R9 K; B) u2 i8 H) d& r) v
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( K- Y6 `- \7 z- t4 L* k  C墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。- q$ |& ~/ {" Q1 C- I! E+ n
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
6 J+ j% ?1 _" R! WHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
) a) G7 b( z% y* MWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
0 @+ r1 y: P0 w1 _: j4 r! VHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）: T" v9 a) d$ i7 z# |0 Q! @; w
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
0 s. y% }0 k* L. h. oWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
; t8 c" {' }& E( w死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
' L8 d% o( [# f! J* ]- ?' }Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
2 q( A. D7 d: L& g后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。+ N. j2 y# |; e9 @) M4 D8 `) B
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
( I) e- M# P; Y) i$ k: ZLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
+ I3 x9 c- w. o1 c7 F  Z话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。5 |+ b! {3 x: R, k2 s- y
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）7 K2 q8 k5 i1 C/ ?4 h' |  t4 ?+ h4 n
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）' E4 n2 e' h8 E7 ?* Q
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）: s2 _- |, z* @3 _0 v) ^7 I) f
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
' E& t3 ^# ?1 V& _) KWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）& p8 C- i' c6 ~! {. w1 V
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
- v7 y+ u4 N: i; k  D1 t" g9 i* u, P: qWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）' h# V% P8 E4 ~  [
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）) l* q. X* [+ k5 V( N% i
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）& j% f) G8 D& {( N5 r& v
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
  X" _9 L% {  h' [（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）4 L! C1 H4 y/ `2 N4 P$ \9 {
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……