《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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% Y- R; }) m4 r9 V+ k( Z; w; A影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。) E2 `$ i5 e8 n/ i+ I/ V8 c# T; P
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）1 g- y  t' U/ n: W4 J9 V
Holmes: I just picked it up.
1 M0 c$ V- b. e8 CWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）) V+ V  M# P' v
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.# F5 O! m0 `3 @, C9 O. ^8 ?0 r
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
1 z& F0 i# a2 G  c$ @Holmes: You did.* \( x2 k2 B3 I5 A4 l+ g
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）& B, N! W# ?1 v$ o' b0 Z
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all., d& H; ~. j, ]8 y3 B) f
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. H3 @2 ?: p, s7 I宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
1 T" H0 u8 k, J& iWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
6 O; U: ]; G1 D4 YHolmes: Granted.7 O; {0 U) i& ?
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! ^: F& T% }( A: c晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。& T; k" i/ X4 J, j5 k$ H
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
' u% y+ E, a, g7 EWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）! U3 F3 v) h3 W9 O& Q$ E! k
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3 h9 ~0 l0 a0 j( Q7 V9 ZHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。5 T# h: H5 e) x# S
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% @/ _0 @% ^2 ]( q, {# ]/ @" ?Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。! O7 A& h! Q6 p$ e
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。& f& ]; S. B* u3 ^9 Q0 J5 S- ^
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
& m* e7 C+ f4 h+ K* y* pIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?6 i3 P9 Y' c4 s, }
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）. S3 q6 b; l5 M  e4 J
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.! x& {6 v9 b: v% x4 u5 N
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! c; t: {, L% S# dIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
& I6 r8 u! z/ ^: N+ ~# D( UHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）( B- J. Q+ q6 |* Y% W0 `5 o) U1 n
Watson: Get that out of my face.
9 ~8 M- c( s7 ~5 ^7 J( w: PHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
8 a: V  h0 D) ?9 L. c' l+ a) {Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.- v, D! h6 z: H( X+ e- w
路人警官Clarky上场。3 Z& S/ I2 [3 T6 x: k* m
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
; X# Y$ w2 m7 h% S" rHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
+ W' B5 T9 K- Z; {7 K1 O# L4 V得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
- o! q4 r% G6 J+ c: \$ x* pWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
, p3 o  R, k) o1 n( C& }Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.2 u$ u; N) `3 a8 c+ V% y
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
1 [( D1 N% l5 {/ c/ G, k$ ~* O; g6 }（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
% c0 `( d4 J) B* S: G& AHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
: m7 B* z0 Z# ~3 r  cWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）6 }1 ~6 c; j( Q3 ~( y4 O( ?& ^; z
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9 w. S' L* G  I) u河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
$ f; f0 F0 P0 T9 U  |1 v4 hHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）5 S6 E8 U, i4 @2 w2 p; l6 k5 Z: t
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…; U. y9 T5 w2 G" `
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）. \+ l% C) b# L& S* i. M1 x
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
7 g9 A( i4 J$ T" k& x" VHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）4 s9 }. z  m7 f: y5 t: ~: s& k- n3 a
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。- A$ n( W- ^0 H. C: {+ c
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）$ Y  w9 A7 h6 ~8 H# M3 V$ |
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。# h4 C4 [% X, X  t  I
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.: W* d- J9 b1 H4 ?7 @1 C
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
* T# J/ }* l! ?3 p5 H话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。% _3 ^$ g) W  G' n7 G
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
/ ~- U. a0 g/ }- iWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
) W$ i  P2 w6 i$ ]" O) C& @Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
& C6 r0 K0 D" H/ s* IMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?5 Z( b0 w% j% j/ w
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
  T% M* a- Y8 g6 p8 T, b( H8 vHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）: r- M- ^% Z5 u0 e( ^/ M
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
0 z" @0 J4 b( W/ H; oHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
; e4 V0 V5 {1 ?8 {9 GWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）. E: K2 T$ @5 l2 H+ J3 t
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
+ J3 @. }  R& G( K* J# F（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）* r5 i/ z* x9 E3 W- ?% P" }; E* \- K
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. [) V; e  X" k总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……