《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
, X0 ~+ V" l% I) v# O- nWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）: Y  e3 Y  U9 S7 ?5 \
Holmes: I just picked it up.
0 O6 Y' q, W! W- s9 I% o$ Z  b- L) WWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
0 u6 d1 ?% k% L$ y' e, U5 d  aHolmes: Knew I forgot something.. C3 j; o4 n* o/ s" t& O1 C" G
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）' {4 e& H3 B: C7 i* W7 V
Holmes: You did.
4 E+ ~1 O5 _6 y2 w（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）; v- t& y2 B1 w6 _5 Z
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.( U% |' k5 ?* a$ J
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2 [7 V$ A! {' E: m! [" [宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
% H4 S4 f0 o/ I3 FWatson: Permission to enter the armory.6 Z9 g. D1 m$ \
Holmes: Granted.( P4 z0 ^9 P9 m/ [
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  E" i1 `9 J% {3 t2 k晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。$ C' ]) ^& N9 U* r5 H: b; r; n: `6 d
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）/ o  l$ C+ g3 k/ X5 x+ p
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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" j& z) r0 }& v& PWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
+ E1 J+ S2 l9 y0 I( QWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）/ n3 y- U6 @* w& }
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。+ F5 m  n/ V- A
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。# s# f5 A% F& P. m, @
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' J8 k) C1 A, x0 [/ \Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
1 ^* ]( d- m& c' v* x（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
5 F3 X0 }! w; U0 [" A- j5 KIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
/ S0 u- r$ A8 {& n/ t" RHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
% {0 h, u' ~% o; Q5 U8 b5 \, C% WIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。5 L, d6 F; c0 I+ Y) n" `
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
9 q  r, D* A5 K' gWatson: Get that out of my face.0 S6 H3 B" [- F
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
& c* M2 g' F! V  P. i, jWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.6 F" m; X( }% ~# J
路人警官Clarky上场。2 ]- l* b- L( Q) I  m
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.; G' ^2 ~3 Q2 f5 L( ]
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
9 [3 K: p( I' d: R6 n, o得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
7 J1 p# s" V% v  c) IWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
0 P$ A$ c% O5 C! v; g4 S0 ^7 QHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.! @7 W( ^" u, j
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( u4 o; D+ n0 B9 J& k) Q" ~墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
/ s; h# j/ R6 T4 h1 i  H  Y& w（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
8 ~7 s6 }4 N+ \! A* M8 wHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
% W! a  ]: x: L& t" p1 v1 }3 [6 Y: o, C, `Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）6 \) W; }& n" y/ e' K
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。( p" {% W& ^3 o7 Q; Y" L
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）9 P0 X; k, R5 ]. c5 C
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
' d$ ~8 [1 P: R; ~" ]. R  q; J; ^: @Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
4 h5 y, y, Y/ I7 P3 n) _死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。2 i& j- E, v, V1 _5 o- C
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）1 K" T2 p! s8 W, `, B, e0 b) F
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。4 A( f$ X& J# c" n4 y" F0 k8 x
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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6 |4 x& [7 [, s1 l% {" U警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。! i. g5 j# @% ]
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
0 s5 j4 v) \" F0 g$ ?( {+ }话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
7 M9 Z' ?2 x! P8 D3 iHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
- S0 a% ^* W+ L4 @1 tWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）" ^( j& l& O8 b
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
6 d+ w) |$ Z# G, {! @Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?" [$ A$ T/ ?! z7 }0 k; Y4 V% S, Z
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
; r; p* t" z+ oHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）5 h& r( U2 u  a# K5 b
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）6 U1 u/ B- P4 a( O# r
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）4 ^. Q* [. L2 h5 \3 [/ G
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）4 T6 ]+ K4 i5 S; r; J
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
+ a# k2 v: G) {6 A& }（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）- }6 r8 ?: p8 H" g  b  h* `* W
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0 w4 ~$ H  \. t  R总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……