《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。2 g( H* W- \' E2 Y. I) j8 ]
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
4 w/ D* E' @, G3 a& C0 GWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
4 |8 `9 F) m7 H  ?% q/ lHolmes: I just picked it up.) N6 P; k; g- p# o$ [
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
5 ^# m, D2 z& K+ o  @Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
, n6 _7 r- v" {, d0 pWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
/ o. d3 V6 q/ s; W( f& R/ W* A8 WHolmes: You did.$ S! x6 R- q: L& m
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
/ y% d! e% g" C# R& [0 ^. wHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。$ N) b8 T5 D5 A$ D" S" d5 x  w  ?+ O: J
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.0 A( g7 b1 H8 F, F8 t
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
) P7 k/ o8 x4 J8 o" V" P4 w8 ZWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）1 i/ R: F& a+ H. G0 w: U6 {8 V
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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2 _9 T2 c. a! {! O0 b9 ]Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
( p: G9 j6 f# _# h6 T; lWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）* D% |- m( w( g2 h4 z
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- s& ]3 _$ L* i3 R! s1 D  oHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
! a5 g: ~1 T3 m+ s/ p- T, ^1 {（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）* R  h5 n9 S4 X! A
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?( X' b6 y8 Q! ~: y
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）  Z9 R5 T  i% c
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
2 U5 C) `9 |, {9 R: }2 PHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
7 [, f+ b6 V. J% c9 ]. pWatson: Get that out of my face.
( r9 }7 d# f- g4 L3 |" Z- x' IHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.; W& y: R$ u0 T7 b
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.1 J7 W, L" N1 F- D3 j4 [
路人警官Clarky上场。
% x7 c1 ~* v0 l9 dClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.  }2 t! f5 [8 V$ H
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）, Y6 \: S  L. @; n& X: E
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。7 }- S  ?. V$ S3 T; [; _
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
. B8 M# G( |- p6 Q4 K' JHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。3 L5 E' R7 y, A# V9 b4 I- a
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）8 c: a& W- w/ e: E1 y, T. F& p
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.3 }& N9 M* k- \! D& i5 Z/ R
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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% W' f' c, e9 U, C河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。! H& k) C, n% v: d/ c
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
; b8 T( L/ M6 ~4 |5 p" a7 Z3 NBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
: N2 C% {. Q: g+ @* D+ pWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
3 N& G1 H3 R) ?死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。1 J! o* [- P% r0 T
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
: o& i6 e8 R, i7 ~4 `" T. l+ C后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。- i& q) k3 J) y- c0 `
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）2 e" C0 W/ \0 C- r9 V, p  T. Z; t
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
, [- v3 K' B* V+ SLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.4 o% K' x/ E9 I( h$ L
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" [+ Y/ v: L: {+ b/ [- J* b% o接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
0 @1 P4 g" y1 V! q4 O话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
* P9 W+ G) ~! J# V9 }- [Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
2 U7 @# _. |" b& k- l$ NWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
- s; ~; P" J) I3 ?& Z3 xHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）  L& s; J% _: w+ r; Q
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?7 Q4 v' ?( T( m- D/ |
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
: j2 N; p+ w* Q4 nHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）, Z! d6 e# a& l. `
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
# X+ `- R. r3 z9 ^1 x- l  R  K$ P+ MHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）% r% y3 }+ C  z* Y( g
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）& X: m5 C5 }8 e+ h8 p
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
9 t! l: r/ \3 k! \1 `% a（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）1 d- b6 y+ s6 U3 ?/ u
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……