《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。3 g0 o: R  o  G6 Z8 \
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
* \/ h9 K3 `: ZWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
. a: Q- o$ I5 IHolmes: I just picked it up.
" u/ Q, n: U/ _! L1 }, L5 Y+ ?Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
; C* ?# S5 N" q7 L: Y3 Z5 @Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
6 B/ z+ i8 T, l3 ^Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）$ z' H0 X) G4 K0 }% B- X- J
Holmes: You did.  J5 K0 R9 W/ x. I
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
: y! Q1 f* e3 W3 Z# m6 pHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.% _' S# Z) F& w1 L
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" E$ W: |# h* K0 ^宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
* C4 [7 k4 H6 m2 `Watson: Permission to enter the armory.5 Z1 `: u+ Y6 G6 I" S& Y( d
Holmes: Granted.( |* I% ^5 v1 Z, Q' C3 p( @4 f
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。' U9 J  g* `6 j/ F" x: P% \$ f( P
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）2 G, k5 G5 e' V' n4 w
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3 b0 ^1 Y; {: e# k- D. a; L/ d拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。, o  g4 _" h0 J2 g
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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) H1 w( P' O' r/ ^5 nHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。* w; p1 Z0 I9 a" D+ `
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" e/ f( [3 S5 MBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。4 m. _1 y6 D& d- l2 Q
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
6 ?8 `& n2 ?& J* J( z  E- f" ^（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）. w; b* [$ V3 o$ Q2 q
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?3 D/ [2 T( L$ e
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）2 V& N5 Q% |0 ^) P/ P
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.0 E" J( A+ n5 b% x- j3 o
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。+ o0 x  t/ e+ R5 t; ^7 }( G3 s0 q  ?
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
# n1 _0 g3 |9 G) \Watson: Get that out of my face.
7 p" l2 }8 u* r, q7 q, qHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
/ s2 ]6 }/ g2 KWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.. ^* j' h* h6 q4 }4 T& c9 t2 m/ z
路人警官Clarky上场。5 R- t1 R0 N/ ]! q& T" l
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
1 M- u& I- Y& `+ g9 X8 qHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）; ]8 Y4 X1 K+ K4 w
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。1 d) E2 d, w; b/ W4 P: N+ O
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
  ^3 J+ L: o4 x  G  s/ jHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
) G$ E9 a! o  `$ k% Z! ^（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）4 D; S7 Q5 O, b" I9 @
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.! `6 }# k+ q) G
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。1 p/ `/ K$ U' b7 f: O
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）8 \; O* ~7 D9 D$ T
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
( P6 n4 t# s1 qWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）) X$ w6 I0 f  d+ O2 v4 U2 _4 V( C
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
; C8 A2 T2 E- g+ |6 s% OHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）9 H( D; P! M  U6 e- D1 @4 X0 o2 T
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
. X( y/ E) {1 y% {) s  aHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）, o2 K* W# [* t- o  @
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
  h/ A0 b6 U+ v3 x! A# w  mLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.. ?4 l1 l, ^; |
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。. Q. B* Y9 r. n4 a0 F
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
: K& x' x) p! R) b) B" r3 @Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
; v/ ^) Z2 D; d+ ]1 l( YWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）/ P+ Q$ Z& h2 l5 J" z4 I! g1 r
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
- B3 X) {" K5 r* m. Z. y: F  JMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
: q1 C0 Z) \  n7 ?; e3 YWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）+ _) E5 T2 m" j% g
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）# j- j: j2 ~# _6 T* w% P7 e! p
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
3 ^  ~7 o5 F+ J6 c3 m$ {2 J9 ZHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
  k9 q. R- g7 s* CWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）9 P; |# O+ I6 W7 S" f( x! ~7 f5 \! f# I
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
4 L$ O5 s% D. A1 K5 y+ N$ d/ d; u（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）: E9 c, o7 |4 g6 G3 s
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……