《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。: |$ M! v) q) Z. c6 W
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7 F! S# d4 {" ^' T) a- C7 T影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
* Y( n3 D4 V# ~0 l3 YWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
- U. [; {+ V( H7 J6 B! QHolmes: I just picked it up.
6 v$ n' e$ ]. n8 Y& QWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
; w9 T" J& |0 aHolmes: Knew I forgot something.3 _5 L# _. K# U! z/ q- T0 v! N
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
5 P& H* u$ n7 L* H$ T2 ?/ i8 THolmes: You did.; C- Z8 n+ }% H+ T
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
) _/ _+ ^/ a# bHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
# |1 `$ x5 c& N5 P  h4 A+ r3 eWatson: Permission to enter the armory.3 `% N( j4 Q7 h9 v6 e' y( L& r
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。3 b2 W% H: n9 I) ]" c* F
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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; ~+ e5 i2 {' l2 [拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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% ^- s6 k7 p$ @! ~2 {+ @/ [Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
- |, U7 y, _% ]9 y3 w/ pWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）9 Q. s$ N7 r8 p, R; g9 m: e; F# z3 {# c
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7 _' \7 ^1 G& j! i! BHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。' c; O  h- d8 E5 G
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。, B" \, K! J; ?8 t! c) L
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0 B9 ]; W3 g) t5 n0 [0 v% ZIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
0 L4 {4 v3 B+ T（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）6 ^5 o( S. D$ p; w9 G' a
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?! ?9 r0 `" p: P4 R
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
9 D! P% M# p* K* y1 B2 f: tIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。2 [4 a) ~+ x8 K, K4 _" D2 t
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
" |+ k6 O! z4 E: [5 FWatson: Get that out of my face.
+ K' x+ r! Y% IHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand./ x3 K. k* V% Z% E, x; w
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
  k# d) |4 _( ?7 b% b9 m路人警官Clarky上场。
1 b, a3 A" c0 w9 N4 lClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
, a, X& @1 o9 L- W( I$ D+ f0 THolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
' L# K7 n6 k1 m; L- G/ C得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。  r2 n9 z- I" u) ]" B: p4 V3 Q5 ^. f
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?: `  q9 D8 s6 \, r2 |% l1 }1 ?
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。5 w0 Z2 b% F4 M4 C7 S
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）7 l& l1 D1 R( P; N; Y. e+ G4 w
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
. w7 u3 K. O5 r- X. gWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）7 q! U4 {; ^) G: u) s- v
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$ f8 ~( D9 G- o) a( Z- ^9 E河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。# y' G! p5 K, j0 k/ d- u% |
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）$ j# `5 F6 K8 j- x+ u% y
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
. p$ Y) b" V/ K! u4 h2 xWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）6 X3 `& c- }. U0 u9 X
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
4 s' W( {0 {8 y0 K$ qHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
$ I3 b( }2 q6 P后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。8 k( F8 w8 u% J: y
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）' {# F; r, C  K* `
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
" F8 m7 J5 L/ pLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.  @; e$ q' g2 }9 {8 q& `* `
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9 Y# R$ x" @- R, k. O9 L接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
3 O% F( z# V1 ?7 z) M话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
) O( u& I: V& I" B# {Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）! e$ D4 A& Z8 {7 g, |3 N0 K, h
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）$ D, w! O: P, ?( g% s  |# i
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）( e/ a* U' x( d* B5 Y
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
( Y  U' I  e" b9 ?, ^: AWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
8 V# t* L7 l$ m. jHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）, y5 m- }0 c/ _7 T. ^- J
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）$ S% H4 y0 h$ y2 C* m' x9 L9 m
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）+ S! M: H3 y2 [4 n1 U& k8 z! k
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
2 e; g/ T7 e, Q6 a3 z- sMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
3 p: t; i1 O4 Q9 f- x( ]( c（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）# L& v" J  }* A; e
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……