 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
5 [/ M3 F$ ?# n* TWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
" O( R+ J2 {" i6 c0 l, MHolmes: I just picked it up.; F; ^5 \& |. ^+ i$ P
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
3 v b4 ~8 l9 L0 P& }3 dHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
! P8 F* {( \7 [) CWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
+ p* L' v$ y# PHolmes: You did./ Y |+ W6 x' y2 Q
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) ( t* T: u- `9 B3 l- _
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.! u" }+ K9 P+ ?' ~
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
$ y: K, C/ c) G3 h4 z. kWatson: Permission to enter the armory.8 W P0 j8 S! P
Holmes: Granted.$ @4 g: Y# H9 |; }7 U* w
3.
$ P5 p& z1 Q6 s: v. ?* p! J6 l晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 8 `$ i' a/ s- A2 A8 w9 W9 a
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) # @; m! ~/ v; Y. m1 e0 Y/ T
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/ r. ^. J e& u% I( w" z: N拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 0 Y$ l: S' C) y% x% |7 S
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4 L& C1 v. P. I1 C ? h$ PWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 ( f" i$ P0 _, \
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) / i, l8 F* a4 P) `
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: t' r+ R" P2 u! u$ B9 {; P- THolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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/ u G# P! u. d& a- n0 B2 dIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
& t- U- b d" e. Q8 G* \( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
" k1 F% `* i0 a5 ]& ?& a7 @Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
. X/ n5 `: o$ `; d% P( BHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
! M9 B" d) t( A! GIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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- ]# R! b0 h" W' ?& e4 iIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 . o M0 C) O3 f4 o/ K; T1 |9 J
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) $ O& L2 X: K; H1 g* C
Watson: Get that out of my face.
( @8 |- E+ J; h/ Y: c9 XHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.+ f7 L" z1 `4 E/ Q% w
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.! y& B' A# C& O1 N% `" s/ H
路人警官 Clarky上场。
1 ` a4 ?+ q) o# S3 A5 j0 s, iClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
0 p% u5 F" y$ B/ `Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
8 |- d- f' a! `$ P8 G# U0 a+ v得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 ) \+ _" y4 d, M* [ ~! V
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?) I+ _# c9 }0 Y: {4 O+ u& x
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.0 h" {- W a+ ]3 Z# Q# P y- b ?; R
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% C( O9 X0 H) f& M7 q6 f( l$ z墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
4 D7 f7 D6 |) `+ q( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) " V+ w- o) E8 Z, A; ?4 d
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
5 c- X6 A( _' g5 I( K; m) l+ `Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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5 f. g9 d- K1 c: z河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
! A% b0 q$ E/ j4 bHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) * z" U6 ?- S. I* ]
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
! Q0 A% m% v8 ]$ XWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) ' b( ~8 Z' R9 R1 u2 u* K
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
1 p" ~$ R/ Z Z# U+ JHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) & K* m. z- A/ q7 h* r! [
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
# G3 d" T) C- g0 _& q" WHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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c/ {# R6 h: u9 Q$ j r警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
' O8 \3 G) f; ^( F! d; b2 cLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.1 `$ j# k0 f8 o; _' q2 Q8 I
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' L* y" a6 N/ a% u) a接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
8 ]" q4 @2 W, {) Z0 X话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
( Y8 U+ z( t7 ^: RHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
3 Q' [. }% C+ Y u- B4 eWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
2 M" S! V/ f7 b" L$ G( T( M* Q& \, tHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
2 c! Y- L+ h+ X1 `( ^Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
8 d* k- b7 |$ Q+ J. B A: H m3 kWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
& |! h ] J3 F4 Y3 jHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
. g; ^; `* ]( v: lWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 9 X6 K- y% G) g* ]3 [
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) 6 z# ~* e4 m# W0 \! l" g
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
" Y# R) u1 w" f1 i$ J! _: ~Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) 4 B7 ]; g6 T8 D( r
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) / v. A' x8 g6 c
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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