《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。& \( m) T) x2 S; y0 d3 z( r
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
) |$ s# z  q+ ?  V$ g; f2 IWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）0 Z* Q2 O8 C  z( I
Holmes: I just picked it up.
- t* p7 K/ s4 b% r7 C$ L6 J) H9 N! BWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
; V/ b9 S0 V- {Holmes: Knew I forgot something.( p# A, u6 u7 C( a* E3 j( _' }
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）6 _0 |+ n9 D7 K5 e5 _; T
Holmes: You did.
# ?/ q) D1 y3 y, M( z7 l9 c（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）' e5 a, l& b: P9 L, n  ~
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。. R4 ~/ m0 z* V9 J
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.; G( I, j2 Q& Y3 x( T
Holmes: Granted.% D, D9 A& ~# o: b" f# D
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; J4 I# Z5 i. V7 J) B9 q晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
5 k  G. ~, ?5 k# j" `4 t' sWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）, _* g8 g! e5 N8 _/ e" V; c( z
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。, X) l7 |& I. f  d: M: h! Y, h( T
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）' V2 @' N) z, n. N9 |2 F) _( \
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7 @: H, b3 B# T; U6 fHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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. Y. Q3 i' U6 x$ g4 B' EBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。0 A' L( w3 n# ?0 a4 Y0 L4 ^
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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/ o% O! ]' n1 c2 W( y0 G+ ]Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
* b* X5 ~& O: KHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
3 |' f& W4 e; U4 p+ n) oIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.0 p; J5 H  ^8 z
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; f0 `" _2 o$ D6 X9 [Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
) O$ r) t( J2 m% {Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）2 \% V: p# }1 w" B; B2 L0 q
Watson: Get that out of my face.; Y0 f6 M& `" S- v0 n$ D4 p
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
+ E' a- F. f# l! v$ zWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
' n! |8 v$ A, d: R8 v2 X路人警官Clarky上场。. ?% V1 |/ `4 }4 ~$ B  z" h
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
, ^- `& `6 `8 l! n2 ^- ?4 ~2 m3 THolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
2 f% L# ~8 N% g) N得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。+ F1 V# s1 X8 y1 C6 r6 O
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
6 }/ ~% d# N5 @9 ~Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not., T; r; k. G& ~
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+ [' A, L) X$ [4 y. A* i+ }墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。' v$ ^) O( v# o  d: S/ z5 j0 U
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）+ N2 `4 @" i) C- K: F( ~& T. w
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
1 V7 C8 r2 E6 e. i6 E! }2 Q9 ~# bWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。  k7 D2 G$ O- }
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
) N% n- w. C7 H8 `. _, HBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…4 b- S% F, a' R7 v
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
5 K7 G% I4 N2 [3 T# K死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
8 g' _7 C4 ?1 f) rHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）7 d: [9 S% I9 O0 r. z2 F
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。2 D6 Z; ^$ p9 ?- o
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）% r4 U3 [: }! r, y
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" n! f1 z0 P* I+ S, \警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
8 ?( v: C% G, J# o$ u% |) u6 QLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
: N8 _; k3 w, ~4 Y话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。; S3 |" t7 F. b. S, J
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
( t6 ^% [6 G: Q2 |3 A# W; _Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）: a+ \$ N# O- c# [) R
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）- Y+ ~2 h" u* w& ~
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
: n& p7 F! i+ u* o  KWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）7 v8 `8 \! p0 Y1 i( `
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
/ S2 ^  C2 ]3 h0 p% K- |& wWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）. _" g, z% Q. W3 n
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）! V9 I2 _, X- Z" v2 f
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）3 d& d% j# u7 S% m0 y$ L
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）0 O4 B8 p, U7 r7 I1 j
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）/ x5 A" m8 E  B4 I" `
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2 K: X: h  W4 ~$ D  l& m/ _总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……