《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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% V! |1 Z: g4 C0 y! V3 @影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
$ {3 n0 ^+ B0 b2 b  v' X# }Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
5 X- n* C) t$ \' i. p: T/ U# y" YHolmes: I just picked it up.
7 t' |9 B7 p/ L9 T$ m8 V! [6 s# {Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
+ m. \) N, N! U" ?! l% _+ VHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
2 Y' ~6 _& Z+ z; |Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）. l* W3 v; J; h6 B: J
Holmes: You did.5 m* I, {" N% q1 }1 F6 M
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）0 a- u: I  e; S( F! h: A* H
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。. @0 G* O1 z  x  i
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.$ }7 M+ a9 O, M/ i/ t
Holmes: Granted.
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3 }8 e3 z7 {2 U晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
( w, }- K# @* N/ ?Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）6 t% S* Y& W% ]8 H5 l5 d( C3 e" M; e
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% s2 }( ?1 G7 s! O! \7 I* \拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。5 N) N* j: X" D1 K! }
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。2 Q# r6 w& N0 ?8 O' H
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）+ Y8 U8 N% I) R% T: O
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& Q: [& @. r( |$ {Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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2 G, f% y: r, O  j" uBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。5 b3 w# s, D# N, G0 J+ w! @
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# q/ L/ n5 \* e% x2 @8 V; U+ HIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。: ~$ o2 y3 i2 a3 d$ |
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）+ s) R" _3 b4 H
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?1 S! q9 J0 u( y7 g6 u" h) T! {
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）$ n# R- {, z' V5 d1 e8 z
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.. U* s: N# D1 h$ M. Q) a  ~& t
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9 G% m) t; J# H- W9 @  t, gIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
3 S* v, }9 ~7 P% ~) m  M0 QHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）, E  u8 \1 s9 _  i+ k0 V
Watson: Get that out of my face.& I7 X+ j& e$ Y9 K- B' y) n
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.% t# z1 B+ s5 j* n
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
9 A  J% }: z1 d& y/ H/ E4 H路人警官Clarky上场。
) j+ o5 @1 E  `# k( R3 VClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.: Z" o4 d* x0 b, G( A) V/ a/ }
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
' ?7 i4 |9 I* r8 p得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
  q! B5 r+ s; n/ RWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?# t/ q( R1 n, l" |$ U$ ~, V( y' j
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.5 u) \  q" r$ c0 ]
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。1 J! r& e& a; L. C6 p; ~
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
0 A" F* G2 M' U7 {8 lHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
1 G/ k0 S/ o+ LWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）) S/ M# f7 G8 x7 \. H" N/ r+ e2 C- ?
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" `1 H3 o( o1 m6 Z河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
. S1 }2 r8 }# t8 T! YHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
) E3 l* A% K+ ^: s; ZBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…% L4 l/ w. z% G% v# \) c
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）5 n/ ]8 e9 I  {' B( o
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
# K# g# O) o  _) s+ v/ GHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）* m8 `- P  L/ ]. C
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
6 F: `$ e: N* r/ W8 W5 ZHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）2 F: I5 S! b) w
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3 d" t& S" `9 W警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
, W" ]! \  R$ R9 I  Q/ S1 D% _1 u6 dLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing., K) Z* D" k" j/ Z( i
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$ L) e) k9 d1 V: u! a. e接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。& f: Q4 b5 z4 M& x' k1 v
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
" {' a( j+ A9 t& w; W2 lHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
# P- I. d$ @2 H9 ~- V4 N. ^3 {Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）* b$ G! d+ R  l% o. O
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
; }4 {6 ]$ }( E6 rMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?5 k: o% K2 r/ C3 a
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
2 b. C, z, r* u" k9 ~$ z' s; C7 K- uHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
' B2 r$ T4 n8 v/ e% sWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）( \' Z: A' O7 K! w* j  V1 n$ w6 u' H
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）7 c, ~% c  `" E- {& D
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）/ u; v. J2 d8 Y5 |! a
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
& |) g5 a; ]  [, N& K  J: K3 E（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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9 A+ {, @0 |7 |2 j总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……