《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
7 O' ~! s% R  M# ^! j***********
% k: O. y# O/ m& f. k1．
0 H/ @$ d" n9 p: R( |7 h影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。0 U/ `- e1 p2 Y: J  c
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）6 @6 W  v) N- C. H$ N
Holmes: I just picked it up.# @, f" A% ?) ?3 B/ @- |
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
5 d; X' v- T2 H* g1 [Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
: `/ h5 Q) V8 U& \6 i& [Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
/ s- J/ `; i1 ]8 F( N$ q! k1 J% zHolmes: You did.2 P; ?/ ^6 D$ r# v8 m
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）  E, E( F) F, }5 F- n. U+ y: \
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.1 Q/ a& h8 K0 H% e4 q
2．
& i* C; \# G) b( T/ Y宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。% y9 i% K! o; Y+ p9 R9 K0 E6 {
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
# C5 ^  x$ ?' j- UHolmes: Granted.
) ^/ ^6 t' V0 o2 ]8 c3.- H% H2 H& c2 Z+ _( F: B, ], H! @
晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
0 t5 B, v; a5 n! m* @Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）6 a0 u/ d6 E: w* L) J
4．
: O9 N$ I; A9 {/ c拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。6 k) X: a2 v( Y' |5 d5 @8 {, c
5．( d( W! P( U, ~; C1 n
Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。" X( v) o9 i. e$ ^/ t! \' @: M' ]
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
  H. \* J; e7 M# _, J  |6．
4 G  g( H) ]0 _" Z' \, |Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
5 Z. B8 _( ?9 T8 u' H5 {7．
4 Q" v' d* k2 h8 E7 w/ iBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。2 ~: w+ t4 }( m" h9 z5 [7 n  a
8．
8 b' f- x1 `2 G% {" ?Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
' Z7 `8 {' ]/ ?( }& G（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
' V- q& @0 I% h! q% TIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?( }( r6 @3 s3 k+ |
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
7 w& @9 I( |0 ]. \! e7 gIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
8 q6 a+ V# s  t6 Z! Q9．! _' o' M' k9 w+ W# y9 D
Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。$ ]: A. ?( _7 X& {
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
' S. w" h. w6 P0 PWatson: Get that out of my face.* S/ d4 l: A' E3 A2 U
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand." T2 A, u' f( ~' q4 M: A3 {
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.. N+ n9 D7 g, ~0 s! i! v. a1 P
路人警官Clarky上场。7 L/ ^1 G) `3 R  ?! Q% q
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
, P4 {" m6 D( H1 Z5 ^Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）# m' ~* V6 w; c. ]! [9 ]
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
3 K' J( T" k8 n0 [8 VWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
" s2 z# B) G6 n+ JHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
' V3 ~/ O* }  ^; U/ T10.) x: W, B/ J6 X1 d. T5 [$ E, \" R
墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。% g8 a/ A" J2 x2 Q. _2 l" T: M
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）( j# @" `6 A% u; m- p
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
* D, \- W( b5 \5 A- t. L8 yWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）5 U8 i- _, `7 e# s+ n
11．
. _0 S: Y6 I) h, A. o8 M河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。8 b: D0 n9 [+ L) n& Y6 |
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
4 g" n& \8 N# A9 ^2 `1 pBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
# h: S  F2 J2 `* b: ~* U/ }7 S# g7 k8 |Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）% w% ^6 g/ ~# }5 N
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。, A% n2 E! ?" g. ~3 ~9 F
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）& {2 M4 T. U/ w& Y; ^* ?6 Y
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。+ N8 P0 Y% s0 `$ a8 `2 [( R
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
* |4 A' T" W$ N! I12．
! u; l( q& _; l$ ?! o. h) e7 h* @警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。4 W0 m. F2 ?% [8 x
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
- Y8 S) y- x6 r5 ]+ a+ u* N- e) N7 K13.
9 U! G$ k' B- i, e) E, i接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
" s) L+ B, ^" b) N话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
9 S/ |' _$ n& ?- RHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
/ k3 x( `1 |3 CWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
! F8 y2 d' s  U/ J, }  V* R+ |- bHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
1 k: v# @" x# rMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?) z9 M7 e) @9 v  h3 |6 x( O
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
. I0 W  t- j2 ^! |+ E% IHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
7 |+ B# p: C* `Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）2 o: z$ u' j$ O$ S7 S  L) a5 f
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）  d" ]5 X. V" G' Z
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）& A. R+ [1 Y( |
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）$ ]: }2 R9 f+ l1 p" I% e
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）$ T5 ?$ N3 c. I) S) z6 X( m# Q
***********2 l8 @- Q: u3 t; g: Z7 G* X% @
总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……