 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 ) }% p! ? z& Q8 n2 f f J! w
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
$ }3 p2 E* |4 ^8 s' f$ yHolmes: I just picked it up.3 y5 ~% y: s. H
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
+ _8 n' h C" n8 w& T) m/ A; hHolmes: Knew I forgot something.1 e! m2 ~$ d, R8 H j
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
0 J: |' i" Z; v! v# j! \, V; tHolmes: You did.) F/ b) `7 [1 `0 d0 n( b$ ~
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) ! _4 @5 M* _' v" V4 i/ I* k1 C
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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( I4 N: L( \' F$ t7 f; r6 H6 n宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
) n3 t* S! W b% r; dWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
! |* J: n* |# F T, G8 i! S$ U/ JHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 & U$ v3 U% J* _& R' `3 G6 X
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 4 q; S. u5 y7 T" ^# W+ J
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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/ \5 e& h3 ^# s) v( C& X0 j rBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 0 x" V, U f2 W/ R8 `7 H G4 Y; s5 f
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
6 x% u' F" z6 h, k& g( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
. P" j& V& O# ?3 t/ VIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
% n/ E7 L( F) _7 ?6 THolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
- ?# Y7 Y: q8 G1 ?' F/ L) SIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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' O- @7 _" V/ J) eIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
0 ?; N3 d1 ^( { BHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) ( z0 j" }' X/ m8 l* j5 L) Y
Watson: Get that out of my face.
$ z: }- X9 J, Q1 k7 W Z2 o9 KHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
: E- ^$ j5 w7 Y7 k) c) YWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.0 [9 w: g- f: x2 v
路人警官 Clarky上场。 2 x D- g6 e' f+ S
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
* W4 O3 _1 a- b7 K3 A% yHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) ) D- s( t3 g, R: Z: h% r
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
% U- X' D( ]# k. W M; A# g& A8 [Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?: H# X3 D& ~, w" n5 V( ^
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not." x2 \& G% b" l1 j; |8 x
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
8 X$ ]0 U: H9 M1 F* B) N6 O( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 0 A/ H v* X" G- X5 z
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely., a: f" S* F% [( e( [1 d4 J
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) , b% I4 d6 k( E. S: X4 F1 J
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- u1 n2 G+ t+ H7 ?: O4 d: F河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 0 T/ o4 F8 N, \% q* ^+ q/ b( {
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
7 e" V) R' W8 HBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…& y0 V/ b L! y$ ~" L$ I
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
_9 g) O' o) }* u死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
8 I: R/ E( M6 UHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) & A. r/ `% N- V/ t( \% N" }3 P0 Y% G
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 / f6 p! F' L2 n$ H
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 6 T/ X$ G6 I- E" x$ L8 E, C
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
; N% j4 e% }8 y; Q) uLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.0 O8 C" b2 a: X
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
: V3 D. m# }* y话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
2 r4 X# K h+ tHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
2 x! G; C3 _/ G- I) UWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 4 L/ z1 J8 ?$ t F9 j4 w, z* `
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
; N: t$ M$ o! vMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?& A* E3 ~9 i& V% U Z& o+ J
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) " l/ @* p2 [' d2 g
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
+ E9 Y6 @& D" Z' GWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
- \3 V8 {2 u0 r6 _6 e2 THolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) 5 a5 l7 v& k3 m& T: ]
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
% F, t5 _; [7 V: |Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) 9 B4 p' @8 i/ F2 g- k. a' r( c/ c
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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% R `5 ?- S9 N# U( b总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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