 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 / [6 M9 |7 i1 F3 }- E
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 7 X& ~, o' |- o2 X. Y( N8 }1 N
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
+ [6 y2 N3 R( W0 }Holmes: I just picked it up.
6 Z2 Z2 x1 |% W4 d% \% S2 }Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) : U1 e, Q N7 A$ @
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
6 \! S2 l5 D2 s5 z8 I" p* yWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
0 f( B i% H0 d; n0 ^- u9 c" GHolmes: You did.( @4 H* h7 m: e
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
1 C, A* \- z% B# x/ k$ qHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.* t" Q% G: U4 K
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 # j) K# \) a$ H8 k
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.% R0 ~% ]5 [- `3 l* N' h* S
Holmes: Granted.) q, U$ r8 l' [! Z6 F/ s5 W% F9 c
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^+ ~6 z: I4 M& m& h晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 6 S4 ?* \5 O8 _3 N( ~
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) + d0 B* i6 M: e% b
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- U$ J O& E) ~* ^拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 |$ u7 t" r7 J! r
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. V+ W9 C# n- v3 |5 L+ qWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 5 Y( `0 M/ z8 l& J/ @
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) ~5 h/ Y& }; K1 A8 c
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- ]4 ]; V2 y/ a" eHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 9 p# T' e+ Z/ {5 u* g
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8 t' B! u. @- f- C2 n" j# `' L
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) \2 E& W/ K7 ]Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 ' G% O# i E. ^8 P) w
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 8 `8 i5 j: k: X
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?# N4 w9 s4 C4 a& M3 w1 T% e; M
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) " Y# o$ m |) H$ x
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.1 `: D+ u1 p$ G6 x4 Q% h& y4 s/ H
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
* _, K6 O+ N- u- I+ FHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
0 R0 f/ X0 ~' b# pWatson: Get that out of my face.
/ i6 }' |8 S1 K% \' x9 |2 xHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
5 P& q! g- H& h5 t7 o: eWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.1 K* Y# b* y) B$ R, ^6 e% J
路人警官 Clarky上场。 . x, J9 V+ ?" o/ s2 L! n0 O- W
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.- \9 \+ D& F/ Z. L$ c7 z
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
. k9 D/ N. v" A! {得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
5 N9 w4 p" M' F; c6 I6 s6 P2 MWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?0 v9 X' l8 W) U5 a4 ?
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
+ e: A" v8 `3 V/ e2 n" V, X( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
* T# c' @( I8 M$ O. d% XHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
. E$ v1 ^4 } d# S6 XWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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) x- U- c- M' Y0 k! s河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 1 U7 l% T- I' ~1 w$ l) u
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
4 U, K, r7 P6 h, ?) f" zBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
I1 e( v1 A$ G* Y( K) S, wWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) / I0 A' d2 Q! ]0 k* @7 ?
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 + V( H1 w- M' N$ [: S
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) ) S/ u, s! ]" a/ f
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
2 ^- Q# n( X5 Z, c# MHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) & ^) \& W4 i* Z* w% k7 C; @3 u
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
. Q4 _, P5 n4 Y; ]) I8 H% kLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.# n% [$ c0 t3 p1 K% w
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 # b3 F4 y+ y% j* b# i- i0 v; B
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 9 h" G% j4 A. f' _$ @
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 2 y+ X4 z5 Y: E- I* P
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 8 u y4 f8 g) z: } ]# @. i
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) + J x* n! {, a' _7 Y: T ^
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
6 i: q3 F/ z% `2 RWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) * G0 ~& i3 b# B; k( G# c% b& @- G
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
1 [1 \5 O) {$ o+ x) s, QWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
( W# c5 w6 B; `' ]Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
: g/ x6 B4 D- W0 hWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) 8 P! U% i! q/ I/ V
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) + l5 `. u. @/ @8 x8 U6 v0 P
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) " d5 Z! ?: U5 Y9 _; t
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7 e& K$ }( k1 ~& E2 z总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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