 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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: T* Z, \, ~; Z. t+ e" K w影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
8 [: s/ Y. o3 e1 f& @Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) 0 T, G! C. D O) W
Holmes: I just picked it up.# D, C5 ~8 o) W
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
" P+ m% `5 N/ b2 w9 oHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
' B I ~. |0 t o# G) _Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
4 Y9 p: }" h/ C2 S% SHolmes: You did.6 ~' t, \4 a) S# p
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
6 T4 r* T! M: s- }& {Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 $ ~7 A# j4 P7 M4 \# E4 c
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
( t( |% \1 Y' u X2 A wHolmes: Granted.. j/ d" U2 V. V, Y9 Y, |8 ^9 j
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& d, @/ K2 Y/ n, t晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
) E# T5 u& I s) V- x! sWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 2 ~! @& \( G( {4 a6 U: G! l: }# p
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 4 R" ~# @; O+ U- U4 o7 a
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 3 G( R3 o) B. [0 x: [) b& a$ d
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7 i0 A7 r& u: c! ?6 YHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 : x) A* [+ [9 {3 q+ f! [
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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8 @6 g0 M- Z6 @/ s% ]Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 / T/ M4 r5 r5 z" @
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
! l7 F- u* a8 K" h: J" fIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?% Q1 H5 m. d5 \9 d
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 0 T2 V, ^) r" z0 S; G& f- H
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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8 u6 y! W5 S; N4 }5 dIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 . h, l+ t4 }7 c
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
! q* o. ]; F% Q( l' L) K! J5 }Watson: Get that out of my face.
! u9 G$ H7 F* dHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
& s2 m& M. Q& L0 S4 Z. J; ]% _8 \Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
( ]0 e, |5 |; q* g* }路人警官 Clarky上场。 / {8 Q4 ?7 J! T G$ L
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
" D' d7 E! c+ F2 N2 J: eHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
* `. F' e, F* @6 F9 B" }得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 ! m& |" U, c) E/ d7 x5 z
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?8 R% U# a: U: z3 d8 z
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.' u. f; K% j6 M, U M, b
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
7 |/ f" w/ U3 z9 N. q( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) , r) E5 h3 r7 o/ L1 m2 s. A
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.2 U: n6 ~& X6 m: J% Z% U3 x
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
! @. x/ r7 [9 E" i a# Y. CHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
6 x% Z9 F% a5 ` Y% ~! wBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
+ J) q& {: G9 [4 B' q; p# wWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
: S& ]% n9 S2 H: x/ Y3 {死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
! M5 n6 I1 \, h: LHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
; u: t1 d. M N$ B! f/ h后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
- ]& i* Z T" y; Q+ Z& ?Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 + I$ U: j, U1 b. u/ w( N. P1 c
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.' B2 b# v; h: N% M9 U; b$ e
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4 f# Q1 L" q6 }' d接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 3 Q4 v& Y! M' j' S* k; u) e6 \
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 6 l+ X; |9 r m- ?/ h& x2 c
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 1 G7 I4 ]: q$ K
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
( R2 b8 Y7 I, `9 w3 e8 h! wHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
' U* g$ A# j0 `# V& ^3 xMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
' a8 g9 l* x/ O- J8 I! w* Q) kWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
5 {1 Q( a B% v5 RHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) . S' j7 w3 l4 ?9 l
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
9 E2 c1 a1 l, e2 f8 o" [; p( RHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) 8 m4 z* Q' r$ q) B! M
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) g% ]' a2 C1 a, L0 E; K" V1 P
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) $ p; P4 t2 m: M( P4 _, {6 G
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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