《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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0 s$ L( ~' Q' F) Q6 H影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
% C* _1 @) i; m1 r6 xWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
+ X4 T' H( d' {$ b+ M. Q' QHolmes: I just picked it up.% j; e8 M* }, N$ |- ]$ s5 @
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）3 w3 e# D3 f2 H9 X2 J
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.$ J- ^/ K2 W# D5 D2 ^( `
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
3 n, C/ G6 N5 W( rHolmes: You did.! M5 K; J% J2 D. `
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）7 @: m; Q: z( a% ^- t; }
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.' O  w6 J6 u3 N
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
; }$ [; n  T! w; ZWatson: Permission to enter the armory.& \3 R1 j. @& f. H) f: E
Holmes: Granted.
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* Q1 v) k; m1 }: z+ w晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
1 K9 q  W" O; X' mWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）, Y1 C6 X4 a8 L: ]
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0 ~( N1 R8 P5 \  m# N1 w  {拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。0 I3 }9 H- i$ M7 A, W
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）# o) c" U, y; e7 o: m& M
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  R; p0 j, C- r6 y. H- I* ~Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。0 a; z, ~; [6 {: s9 ?
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2 i6 s& `/ q# T, }8 j4 x* @Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。. E8 \6 L; \; l5 r* _" f  z6 \
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）4 S9 k5 T$ R* K' X" O( g# r
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?8 @5 j3 Q! b2 \1 U, t2 l" z; t
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）. p7 v& B4 z* L
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。$ v3 D( Y+ C. r" h* s: R6 G" H6 i
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）( Q. r5 m6 r  f, V4 v6 N) \% d
Watson: Get that out of my face.: }5 c, v4 g$ l+ k& c
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
8 y* n8 g3 v- f4 ~  w2 LWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
) A/ o3 Q% {' S; w: \路人警官Clarky上场。2 J% c8 Y+ ~5 }/ I' _9 ?* x- w9 t8 \
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
! d) P% K! H) bHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
4 e3 G1 R5 S- b4 W# ~得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
0 U6 n+ @8 h" B) z! _& wWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?( k7 U. P6 g2 Y. F& \) B
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.9 t4 O* l' n1 @) g% w* Q
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# d" _5 g% \$ ~& g墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
( h" @- m! ~- ?# D（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）6 @3 j2 }3 r; o" @% M
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.5 ^% V1 L5 P5 ~5 K
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）3 j' W$ @3 Z2 h& x0 F  M7 I
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( Z5 x7 h6 k/ z河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
% L" h( R% Z5 M# @" pHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）, C5 m, ~$ u7 t9 I- s
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…9 t% Z7 S# ?8 s+ Q: U
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
: h) ]: d# U. m8 u$ B  a死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。! e  W- R  K" F9 g
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
, U# @) I6 l6 y( C# f后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
8 t2 o$ x3 _! [, u  {; u2 {Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）6 o3 d0 @2 u! r- W
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( G, M" X6 }. C警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
2 G7 v+ e* o2 v5 Y  gLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。: ^9 R' V3 d9 \' C# I2 f- J
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。  V# h$ U3 N' {+ _4 U! Z. ~3 C3 m* n
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
; ?* i2 ]% ~5 [" c) tWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
! e2 H/ X  V4 D4 g% e# e2 cHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）# y+ s0 ]0 }& y
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?# t. a, ]2 U/ E6 X
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）1 _$ i6 v8 _, q6 z0 |
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
8 e/ h7 L0 U- W' u, e' S% \, XWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
- g) O% |% n, p7 [Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）, @9 x2 j7 [1 S% @
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）# k3 C+ c! t: @( s" v9 N6 o
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
# ]' Y4 Q/ k, v$ H) O5 l3 w（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）& B7 Q; r& z  p0 j. m
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……