 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 % _# X5 e+ ?5 T$ t2 I" n$ D
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
" b5 B5 ?7 o' d1 D2 LWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
7 C. [- ~) v9 SHolmes: I just picked it up.
" Y1 j) {( h$ D5 A" j* R+ v) F/ \Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
4 { A2 W8 T0 A" S' Z7 ]! T. aHolmes: Knew I forgot something.7 d, }, ^/ e, D% Q C) S
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
$ K) ^& E$ S2 U8 i3 ~* \: ?. DHolmes: You did." P+ t3 t& {, p* Y- ?- t, n
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
) k9 I& {1 o( P) o% i( gHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 0 D! m h/ p: P! q0 G' Q
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.. k0 I. i$ S* ]- u) l! l
Holmes: Granted.. m6 P1 b; O2 `+ Q! J
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/ W I3 e" L0 p; c7 e. t: \, O晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
: F$ n7 x. Y( g1 AWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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" r; r3 _+ o) g/ A$ r( v8 Q. S" N @8 C拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 ( _ m( F) b& Y% x e1 U
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 ( O) x- W( _7 E9 E( H" N5 [
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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P8 Z9 Y8 ?! V% K mHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 ( I3 w2 f, W4 t6 f" I9 y! D
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 4 P/ j9 c6 y/ Q! t# `
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0 l; A4 L. v! f$ K, JIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
0 U b. E5 G2 K- n9 U! `( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) " W" N" t, `( C% V# u! W/ J
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
. u) t/ Q1 J* n- `$ l; gHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 6 m5 Y" K0 a8 y; U0 z* |! ]
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.* s% m' W* K0 r( t9 ^/ p
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3 v3 {' C' q/ M) I% HIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
3 s( J+ u/ H/ E$ X; mHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
" u3 `3 n, C! G+ [/ i" KWatson: Get that out of my face.
' Q/ ?6 l% V4 ]& H6 u/ WHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
# a6 \; p# l6 Q' v" W6 s. FWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face./ C: `4 r K/ F& ~7 Q' F$ N! z
路人警官 Clarky上场。 + g" Z3 V. E/ y' [* z" @+ O
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
5 F1 z3 |' o0 |; R& o tHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
4 P# Q0 I0 T1 S- A* @9 G得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 * o6 }/ a- t, N4 U e1 h
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
' K6 S) [; q. ]9 k' \Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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/ I' l- A) u1 M9 j) i7 R墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
7 ]5 l* h. w) j! M# X0 K3 a( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 6 }( z( q& l; {* w( A: s5 K0 [/ D
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
3 s7 b8 e6 D6 K' i- \Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) 5 q1 f4 T J' S) }8 @
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/ m) u7 E G# |4 c3 S河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 - E5 c7 l: S0 r. O$ r
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
) ]! J5 ?# j* b" A8 DBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
5 X% e+ p, S& S: ^9 A2 y( U/ dWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
( p$ l- _7 P) U) G死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 . S; g5 S5 k$ K6 v* K
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) e1 U# p8 E) j
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
i; S7 V& |5 |& UHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) - w9 I; c$ }' w0 D) K1 o" D
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$ t3 D( B s5 _8 j; |, T9 }7 u警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
& n U% b0 R5 S3 y. BLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.2 i5 @! M) F2 U* t$ S* v5 ?4 W
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 2 s5 a5 M- ?8 t$ ^# U5 O$ P; M) v
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
9 {3 Y8 R, B" L% Z+ P, l- Y1 \Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) - Q! N3 o8 n, U+ F
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
6 \3 @/ A( J6 L. G) Z: VHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 5 l! A0 t, K0 ^& V" R; ?3 w
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
& r2 t( B* R6 A' MWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
; P/ M8 Z. r4 E. l9 q2 B: K. ], oHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) - t9 l+ O2 o5 F7 H3 U) }% v
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
% C' r5 D* e# X+ Q* uHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) 6 Z( j9 i% P. W8 v: i
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) , F) Z, k! p4 l
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
' B A6 \2 ]" H3 f( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) 9 a: V% j& {2 p2 C. Q0 T7 g" \0 ~$ `
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7 J( y+ j9 J8 w# b0 N/ C" M! e# q总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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