《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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3 L$ B4 d4 W, D# Z影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。1 R3 x& X/ c# q/ ^
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
* }7 D3 f  U' l; j; Q& B; aHolmes: I just picked it up.
. J; V. k: `( z0 P1 SWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
! J  I' e$ }  o) z3 J. L) R! y; S+ KHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
' O) K# H5 s! G: U5 r" l4 ZWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
( h* N0 B  v6 \. U2 ^+ k$ c( zHolmes: You did.: m$ d/ W3 H1 p8 H9 o9 S2 B
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
1 H/ X* |+ T, e& a. O/ NHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。( |# M2 _: x- g+ w2 F
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
+ \- P6 |' `9 d  N) P* cHolmes: Granted.
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9 Q  j; S9 e; g5 T7 A) O晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
" m6 C5 X- n1 O8 W& n" G0 ~Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）9 T' ?' ~& b/ F  h
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。+ h# {5 T- x2 t# \% O$ g9 i& R
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）5 G) Y$ ]- P7 J1 D/ M$ Z5 M
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。8 u9 t0 ]: I3 w, \+ S1 S  {, O
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/ B9 R/ }7 a! u( T9 cBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。% I- H1 J& @1 R) s) K7 H
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。' D+ W7 n- u' d# ?
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
- U5 J: R, O  w9 V1 hIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
- V- v6 p$ a) N1 S& c7 ZHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）) k* s6 H% B2 D  L
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.* E/ b% \. E9 W0 N2 f
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。8 h# c8 {# Y/ n: Y: U% j" u* [4 c4 Q
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
. `, W% K7 D+ n* h5 l- d7 r0 [Watson: Get that out of my face.! W$ z7 }, F5 M$ {0 \
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.: B  ^) M$ p( N
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.: h) E/ u% Q  X. L, D% r  ?
路人警官Clarky上场。
9 _# g: L) I2 oClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.+ E/ i8 ?4 g: ^' {( m. ~
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）9 P& K0 [% J. L: x
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。* l' {9 M4 H! }
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
& ?. @% u5 G6 c, T% y/ e: W& H( uHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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0 P" G4 ^- ^& Z1 R5 j0 I# {墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
; L: {; }% Y, J* O& R（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
1 w: S* ?6 Y" B; M2 GHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.# {) m$ x% x7 h: y( m+ Y
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）% i# s6 {' f, q" K  ]' {$ z( O
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。/ s9 @8 J6 k8 I. @4 A
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
5 Q% J% E/ Z' ]Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
1 c# l$ W- v- d' g$ B6 e5 M- FWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
7 f- }% {6 x3 H; [3 |死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。1 p+ U/ H# o/ K4 ]! K: @0 D
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
8 p& p2 w) A; j1 o6 Y+ ]+ w; A后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
1 H9 d2 b% i0 HHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）; A- D3 u  o. [5 Q3 z5 l- d  N
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
6 @2 Y: m% f( \% ?1 j, V5 F! MLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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  D" N$ {% i  Z; I) ^" y* K0 ^接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。+ {$ s$ W0 p3 b% x* k5 G
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
3 C: C/ u2 E# G2 E. I2 e  {! `Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）: C1 W4 J7 K. e" m/ f- N2 O
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）- v8 T  k$ G9 Y3 o4 b, A) M. N, q
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）7 O; |7 R6 r# |  V7 p& P
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?+ n8 c( C1 X5 E& X. }/ g
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）' p" _) K. Q* h
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
6 E/ V9 D  {) t0 T5 GWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）9 d8 }' W  P( p
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）+ R7 O, `( C3 r4 [
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
) l  C' P7 g4 C! @% k8 y3 rMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）* w4 \, \( _  P0 g
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……