 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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. A7 `& w3 C+ N! a1 o影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
( x9 o# Z/ P4 h: e8 h% ~1 F4 e3 gWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
# [5 k& g# R% o7 l; X- ^Holmes: I just picked it up./ I% i2 K6 W8 W7 M( A
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
! k! N m4 `, j- L: ?8 x! s" u4 aHolmes: Knew I forgot something.; ~6 g% l0 N/ E" M4 w' ~( \
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) + B0 ~; z# T8 ~2 I
Holmes: You did.% \ T/ U5 E& v
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) ( }3 W0 J( \8 C8 Z
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all." u9 q. W+ ~ H G
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4 z$ ?# W3 z' ^. w2 ?/ X5 u* V/ ~宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
# F- i8 J7 _+ ?* x1 N$ p" K0 t& `Watson: Permission to enter the armory.% x# m Z, m5 X3 D1 u/ z
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 % z3 z5 l# N" ~$ E+ E3 G
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 ; \- j3 q m6 T; }
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 ( R w4 @% }6 H) |- Q/ F3 X2 ^
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
" S" A5 M$ r4 y# Y6 `$ Z1 o! I( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
. |6 t- h2 z/ n) KIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?$ [) |, t. c8 H9 [7 p6 i
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) : K6 e- n: d; J; a7 y3 g1 n5 {3 \
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.0 P* H: d9 u$ L% Z% U7 v
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
% a' u Q: w- m9 C; m, fHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) " q' v# z! o6 }/ f8 S/ {
Watson: Get that out of my face.# X, g+ T a" ]& N$ T
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
( H6 W6 S; n* q' vWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
- R3 b8 T7 J9 S+ b+ d8 ?1 B路人警官 Clarky上场。 ; k& p6 `" o, `3 k/ B* p3 U( o
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
& e$ I4 j. @+ u" NHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) ! ` q. T$ ]7 E" v$ u- y% h4 O/ ^
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 7 ?8 ?# T' q+ z) a! e$ w
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
- {; ?2 X& y6 p3 X/ VHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.7 L& k6 I& |& ~) M' V+ o
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0 x- x) p+ I+ }2 s8 _" g5 E- D墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 , Q9 n' h- h7 y. i& i- o9 i4 w; E F
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
8 O% J9 T4 ~3 u- ~; x& m5 D- bHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
8 _; j, E6 `% f }Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 / m8 p6 }" L+ |5 W2 \
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
7 h! w$ p: u9 {7 `; \Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…7 h! D+ {- g* r
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) : Q! u# {" h, {3 l/ _' b
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
% T8 y: K3 g: r3 v$ D9 dHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
2 M8 \# @$ p6 [; Q/ l) A后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 ! u1 \" g: z: l# B% H" q, t
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 1 i& ^" m% d0 B" N
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+ B( H5 I" }& A4 A8 n& J4 v警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
4 \2 W' E4 n# U& iLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.6 ?# f1 D$ D7 }7 C: A N$ v
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
/ a; c; p0 v# u+ V话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 * ~, w& b# R1 J& y* r `
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
* {$ Q% E% E& @Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) ' [8 T- m" Z' L# W8 w& H- {
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) ! | r9 J0 }4 _- C+ t
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?5 ]: {& k& c8 _' n
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) 7 i! b% }: e+ b* ^" c
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
! z8 J0 D8 Z8 |1 R% ?) qWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 1 ~# C( i# e5 I
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
0 a' s- v. O! D$ [. jWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
4 E1 |/ h$ Q1 S1 Y' m: c: PMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) ' q t/ b/ B: c8 j
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) . d8 [) v( W- Z) E# i+ F/ X; V+ C
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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