《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。$ P9 h* d' y" p  S; @6 \
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）: d! V9 [; U# s; U$ c; b$ F# |
Holmes: I just picked it up.
: E* z+ k& E# g& {" Y4 QWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）' p2 \, q5 D( V
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.+ w/ J% g+ ?/ m. y* n
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
% d/ o" A6 d+ G& W2 Q8 yHolmes: You did.' t- {# w  E3 _% Y' }6 r4 P7 w
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）: L$ ^& S6 Q( Y7 C; y; n
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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. n$ C; T1 G& ^! ?7 W) ~宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
% B1 c- {. P3 e8 C; s6 _9 _% cWatson: Permission to enter the armory.0 D: g% t9 Q7 B% E; B
Holmes: Granted.
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3 O( w9 Z' k( l) S) z* I& k+ K晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。. B5 s  E/ d* k/ |
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）' p* V( \. o+ ]$ ~/ V" N
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。/ w" y9 I. ^  ~2 O
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
: P( o1 l) p7 n# RWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）) J& [. D3 @1 x6 E2 U& Y
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。7 F: G2 |* O: p& n) u0 Q+ g/ x
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' u1 Z+ p( o1 Q/ y$ H1 K2 L1 wBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。# M8 d4 ?* o, {& ^/ n
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。1 R& u" C6 B$ E9 N( ?" ?$ [+ Q
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）, F: a/ F; t( o3 G( F  c9 h
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?2 t3 X& L- h: \0 N8 p
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
7 h4 K( {" l/ v! s7 a0 Q. jIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。$ f8 Y$ T. R0 c3 J9 F
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
; m, f; F. R' o8 M* H& k  o. GWatson: Get that out of my face.
/ e" Y$ l2 k" U% KHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
% e( x( q# h% ~5 ~0 M( fWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.( Q% f! \* t4 ^9 l! m4 G
路人警官Clarky上场。
1 b* H9 q+ ]3 u. q% z( [7 ]Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
; a- q! X( |/ c& R: hHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）1 ^$ ~7 u; F( q0 F: s. x& A& I) Z
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。  ~9 j9 m% f) L# z4 _: b- c4 u" `
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?+ W) R. i2 ]' O% O$ s4 L
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.- J1 M, `1 b# x) m  ?1 |( y, J
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% K9 o6 ?4 `2 C墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
: x& Z4 I# l" v% |9 U( n6 L* }2 N（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）: I5 `5 ?/ ^( b
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.) I( ?- f) M! J8 K
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
; ?+ l0 i7 C. [! SHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
0 |6 i$ N: U- E! P/ e0 g0 w# mBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
! j! ^# u! O0 c# _$ BWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）  ?. W+ V. c8 }# `4 t: a# J/ [7 E
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
) Z, }% D$ l: H; U! Z, tHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）+ I) h0 I$ e( R- S
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。8 w' \5 J7 G; E( K' g, ]% l: T
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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& C5 c0 H" P: I& Q5 o1 |警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。: p) b+ j5 [% O- U$ l  F1 D; H! x
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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! f# K( a/ ?* O+ ?接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。9 w! V; W* j7 U( a
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。$ t9 T* m# `' T5 t+ M
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
; b/ K+ E1 [2 n* k6 rWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）, V  {5 l3 K: B& J9 Q1 U
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
' z2 z5 b5 N2 e  B! l3 {- @Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
! I/ l& |6 e9 N- {0 @/ pWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）) H; W3 |9 c! |" o* U
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
9 z& c0 F! s2 m" o( uWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）% \3 i% O/ v$ a: p2 l2 G; o& c" I4 w
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）' E4 m" ?* V6 X2 k
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
4 R  J' U  I0 wMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）$ k$ J3 X8 c/ T2 ]
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）# B$ Z  U. j  P# f( I% y7 B1 A7 W
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+ B; G5 Q2 v8 Y3 ~总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……