《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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1 d1 i1 j5 _7 `+ R  G影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。0 M$ P- N6 M, y3 L: S, U- Y2 w
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
/ u9 l6 h5 W- XHolmes: I just picked it up.
) z4 ^, h" j  K1 BWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）7 {, S- y3 Y$ Q) T0 `* T
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
- s: a" h0 Q6 L- HWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）5 V8 Y7 v4 W- z3 y* ?- n
Holmes: You did.2 H( V/ _! b4 y% b
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
6 Z) R8 R  Q; }# Q. RHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。. s; {# O5 v5 m
Watson: Permission to enter the armory." x& E+ [  N, L: m
Holmes: Granted.- C' W! k+ z4 Y+ @& j1 g$ ^
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。) O" ~- {% g2 B
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）1 [  v1 m  X& J: [& @% {
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: G/ c5 }+ B8 }- r# M拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。, q3 S9 y) ^  J, v
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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# {. D- P# z, w+ V' @( u3 i7 RHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。' \4 k' W' w8 ]2 n$ v
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。3 p$ x: J6 M! W7 b' ^6 D2 e
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, U+ a/ b7 c% u" f6 LIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。* {: C) I3 u! x% `" h* R
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
9 @9 a: f  C% j$ r6 E" S! ?" S# qIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?: B! V& p( N$ U
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
2 t+ d& u8 M- vIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.; h9 n8 ?* W, N( C5 i$ q
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: y2 Z9 |# ]! D% ~( u4 S6 S5 c) ZIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。* P1 [8 |/ s/ x7 c
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
! q% w4 g5 d; ]. t8 tWatson: Get that out of my face.+ A& W, |0 ^: d3 S' V& ?0 E2 g6 \  S
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.5 v% N2 F5 s% j; E/ }! x
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.( r/ x' H6 ?# e* d. b$ k$ L
路人警官Clarky上场。
/ i, q2 c1 ]$ q: U1 S5 T: YClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
0 i* n2 n3 K" z! y( `# V) h) pHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
( Y& I) e, F8 L( z/ a( ?2 ?得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。1 B1 O( Z. [5 J, X+ X  h
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
; {. e1 d) h. z6 Q3 L& @Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.9 j; V1 K0 v- I7 z& `( P
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。0 p8 H3 |7 P9 J6 z9 `( t3 T
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
8 u) M+ W3 K# J7 k) C- o" N4 tHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
- b* f0 \% ^5 ZWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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) k9 l6 p1 U8 q# u. h河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。# _) s$ _" {( o
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
; H* H% [' t  `$ V  w+ aBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…, k$ K4 R5 c+ N' N7 Q9 r/ ?
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）5 a6 J5 T; C! }7 K0 n: e3 _6 i
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。. {- ^% {/ C: s& o: A( H1 k" a
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
) E! o, }7 P* g' t9 r2 h2 p/ ^9 p后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。8 [4 i. W, e; c1 l; G' U/ p
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）9 z$ z9 M7 ?! B/ W) |8 g
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。/ l% l) F- q) z* w) w' ?
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.+ E! L7 y8 u( \4 Q3 t5 E5 P* S
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
! s1 M$ b; n( M- U) b; j话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
% ^+ p1 W; z# ?1 }0 d6 C% p( B  Z& NHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）+ Z0 z* K9 r' b7 v( p/ A& D( R8 ]
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）% S9 Q3 n" {: m
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
1 s! b3 K' h* {) N# E1 C8 y9 XMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
2 j3 a5 e8 y9 I  Y9 @/ XWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）) ^4 F+ p% y3 t. a' @: a  z
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
: \7 ~! v$ V2 G6 X9 f" @Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
. P+ a/ a1 q4 _' sHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
, O1 v. @% {) m9 y2 I0 gWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
' ~, `; H9 }, E1 @. K' nMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
% c% {! f4 W2 B& L- s（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）# M% Q3 t. z) q8 b
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2 C/ w  v/ N2 C* y/ a总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……