《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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$ j6 E# u6 t/ o1 L3 S影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。, p- J" O* g  w+ k, C
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）6 z: a! }5 B) Q, L
Holmes: I just picked it up.
0 e6 B$ w* f0 k2 wWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）0 z4 ?4 x" g1 U3 R: @8 ]- @9 l5 a
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.' B8 s& W  a' y, r1 E9 @
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）9 F0 ~! C8 f) a7 h) n2 [: D
Holmes: You did.
8 ~# s% d6 ?* e2 x6 [（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）$ S9 }5 O1 A9 Y: r3 |
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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/ X4 C4 Y& K4 {6 ^4 t9 S0 G; o宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
7 R* g) z- K0 l$ v3 G  \/ t1 tWatson: Permission to enter the armory." ]* ?+ U1 o2 U# r' ~8 I9 o" r
Holmes: Granted.3 P. O8 g; k5 g  k* f, T* s
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6 ^9 x8 a( V+ D- {% T晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。) S  R5 R, H  _* m1 ^0 Y
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）) t* ^' g+ x1 V0 ~
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) T  I, _9 w5 m) X拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。& k7 ~- Y4 o0 E% g- U
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2 c7 v' p( \6 ^3 i+ qWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。6 z: ~0 f  m" t1 d+ s2 h. p$ Y* l
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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2 \- \2 _4 h# r. u; N, \- GBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。. \2 o$ B# m* ?- C# ^/ s* r$ y
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
. j" h2 V1 `8 x; ^Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
( y/ ^0 f7 s; g2 c" KHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
/ o- A0 |" K+ P6 n) H" p; D# S  nIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.% k+ [2 L  i1 M" m) q
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9 A+ _, E8 V" v2 ^Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
6 ]0 j# N# h( zHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
+ N. s/ P+ Z# ]# wWatson: Get that out of my face.
3 I, c- L& p% o7 t. p# h& DHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
! J$ }- j1 b/ [0 Y. r4 h' n% j3 JWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.. d" Q: e! C3 A8 M; r7 p( G
路人警官Clarky上场。
- z% M2 |: p0 x) qClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
5 _. t. D! i7 n$ eHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）+ t1 L, y; ^0 A  Q# n; ]4 s
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。$ y& s9 H. F) d( O# Y7 L7 v$ [  l
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
  X  |( z9 i5 n5 F6 x* U/ GHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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9 \, @2 u; t4 C  `, o- H! N墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。( S2 D8 F3 B9 ^+ m/ K
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
  ?' s9 H* _. }6 m) y& e  W/ BHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.: O7 f. M( B: i: O7 z9 w$ N; j
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
+ @0 k7 x1 K( x0 _( _  a  |% xHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
9 U" ?5 h: a) E* zBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…) M+ y) S, u; H. ?8 n! Y. i
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）0 N! a: V6 m2 c) c5 d1 p
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
( I5 E. Q) [$ I" h+ }7 o7 LHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）8 R& I& x" V* n6 |5 N/ u+ M2 A+ Y
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。" I# _5 t# H# `* v
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）+ `+ v$ F/ j$ o4 R. S5 Q4 y7 M
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. x; `" R: G+ V警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。4 V' ~7 y% T: \; N
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
/ P1 p: O: m2 T- h3 J# M/ D* w话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
* p" U. @6 d2 i# t8 X! d" aHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）; P0 Q2 V/ t- w) v9 c# q
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）* w/ s& ]' m& d5 g* z+ j: R
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）4 j9 u: M# v' \- U- \4 L: R
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
6 v: b) o, @# \Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）; W3 x  ~) @9 `* z* {& O
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
, B, d! T) `  I: U' i- SWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）1 W. v. b. H0 m! b' B
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）/ G3 i" f5 Z: R/ P
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）/ ^  K, d2 H1 ~8 D
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
9 v1 f3 U& E0 }& z. G9 y（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）8 \5 Z, g1 \* N' u' U( y
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……