《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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7 l5 A8 G, T+ d0 U* ?影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。) {# g' t5 Q$ y) h2 Q
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
, f& `6 g8 s) ^$ h7 q) h' R; [* _  m& yHolmes: I just picked it up.0 ~% C  A% s, j' r' J7 y( {2 _, u
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）! ]' v4 k- Z$ z3 o
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.# J" X+ V+ ^( g1 z' i: _
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
- R2 n( q/ a- K$ V7 y& GHolmes: You did.! E6 T/ e# g' m1 l; d$ k
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）7 H+ Z% J) w4 X
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.% F8 i% \/ P$ @, z$ e
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; t& y% P3 I" O# k# ^2 Q( B0 K宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。0 {$ Z/ \( U9 p( s$ O: b8 z
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.. m( J1 `6 F6 I5 [9 a5 J3 A, @% F
Holmes: Granted.* O: [; E% \' W- l
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! S4 h6 h3 _6 i) N$ K5 Z+ K8 k晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。$ Z; [: ?% s* H4 u  L8 X
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）" P6 f. A) j, I& G' x
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* t  J. h1 u4 E: g8 v6 M' n7 m4 Q拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。" t% p' W8 s! [5 s1 M& d, P1 v
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）0 i4 {( X" J4 X+ [& M
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/ A9 [3 |7 L6 U3 c' SHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。, B$ D* z- `3 z- {! G
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。+ q! ]  Z+ B$ S$ G
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8 D, r: z( S" j# _/ \6 |Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
# |) [& U# Z" j/ f. A1 \' [  x（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）- i' U$ x- G! F0 y* d8 w
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?. |( c( i- F/ `4 P6 |
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）% T2 J. S/ q5 A* {3 D
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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" w% I, X7 X, ?Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
3 E9 P8 [( `1 I" \0 O; Y, T0 D, \Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）+ o' X. [# z; o0 L6 i9 c$ q# @
Watson: Get that out of my face.
& |9 }. ^5 D' ZHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
: ?% O9 O+ }" o# L3 h8 u1 {: t- PWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face., c( R, K( g4 J5 i$ r/ Y' W; r
路人警官Clarky上场。6 |7 g* a( J3 A/ |9 i7 E
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
" S$ u8 _" i6 j2 a3 `) PHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）/ a7 X6 }$ f+ H) a* a4 d$ M
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。; _' H( S) A% J6 p2 f
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?$ F. H4 o2 C3 o, ?
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.. A: {1 F7 _, U. d0 e
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。: P! J( r* ~8 q0 H9 W
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）1 Y" `# Q' W+ g& e, |
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.7 {0 C; W5 |# B6 s. A4 f
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
  X2 E6 A! e) i7 H2 PHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）- g2 P! g* Y+ p: m9 f" u
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…! [7 I$ K# F- I% G4 ?) ~
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）  \- E  Q# w0 }3 m; c. H9 K1 P' u; Z
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。, l7 z- R/ X  t
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
2 N) |% p  z( G; k# L后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。/ d( F3 ?: S4 ^( `
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）9 B; U: j% w# h9 d8 }3 ]
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3 v  @& ]2 y6 i2 ~警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
" B* p7 ~: A: s; _Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.6 a7 ?1 L5 x! _
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
, c+ b0 `( C4 {5 {! O. F话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
4 I2 U/ Y+ Z7 E( d3 k' X! K1 uHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）1 d. |! c+ N: R* o/ u4 Z
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
: z$ f3 F3 {% a5 n- s" I% l( MHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
8 X0 f/ G' Q" f! a! B. X6 ~6 L7 Q1 YMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?8 W5 s, J1 e0 Z" G
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
  O8 T5 `- w% n8 u* d" nHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
, ^# K  A/ g$ |' F+ qWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
: X' m  s" r2 h& ]. V1 h4 VHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
% v2 T; A$ Q" r; j' f' S0 c- G; JWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）2 z& L2 y/ r6 p: `+ O- X; x
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）7 j" J4 k% m5 R% A7 o9 e
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）( f. [) i' w( G+ u/ G8 ?4 D
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4 ?1 y1 t3 S- @4 q! f0 u# o, k总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……