《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
9 K5 l# P; W4 c  N4 q  H+ g) GWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）: e7 f3 [1 v; x+ @+ t0 z+ E) B& r
Holmes: I just picked it up.; r& q8 e& j( X+ K7 K, {9 q8 _
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
7 A# C2 U' z* y/ C! j- dHolmes: Knew I forgot something.  o$ C1 i1 V8 m2 c
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
4 h* h! @8 E  j$ I: wHolmes: You did.+ ^) C; m* L( ?, h
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
0 i0 I4 a0 I9 g7 N+ \2 [  i  XHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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' f) |" s% Y4 @0 r$ |% v) Y宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
* c7 r. {1 ?* z# f8 S$ mWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
2 _# l5 l  P$ Y$ {6 W2 C7 K) PHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。# h: i8 }" H0 x/ I, @2 ?
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）* s% R: c! y6 P; C4 T3 u0 H. X
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# w& o- [( H' J7 F1 i拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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9 A$ H8 M/ N# Q& m+ Y1 o4 IWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
7 h6 K# V1 g; U+ }! LWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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0 E4 {  C- D# ^# f* G  h* F2 DHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。: r, D# |/ V3 Y' k' n
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! ]3 X4 ~$ L  V1 ~Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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- v: v+ L9 L4 N. @+ ^, NIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。- s" L$ j8 e# h6 A+ f: J1 s3 E' _
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
# }% p* I+ U, o4 e1 n- nIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?0 R1 K; E, u9 ^. F! c5 I3 v8 i7 p$ V
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
" E" h+ y0 _, n6 kIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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% |( O* n' q5 c$ r+ WIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
) ]0 {( r4 J- q3 ~2 H$ N4 V6 k- ~Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）' w# s# l9 ]8 ?" {) O1 d
Watson: Get that out of my face.1 t- k5 w) i& n, o
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
1 c: X- G% v- F3 u, TWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
) G/ t) L, z- u5 A- e: y路人警官Clarky上场。( i' N. ]/ K) W: t6 b
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
, Q- d' }5 D, GHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）5 c/ ^  z6 r, @; `, v
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。# S# D' b* A/ [/ t- A# J
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?% F9 L7 [; |+ |" }# _% a7 K" c# A
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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5 f5 D% Z  s( i2 G3 `墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
9 c; r! o8 }( A（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）3 o. k+ z4 k/ J1 p
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
# A6 f& n- Z7 r5 d# S# T" cWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）1 m# j6 g8 _, v# i1 p( F: d# ]5 P
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
! v  F* M9 y% Z( Z% x% MHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）' x- ~7 d& Y, |3 O: [
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…, y2 X" x1 h  ^5 B9 ]6 m
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
6 y7 ]; h8 U# N5 v1 S6 Q' P' ~, Q9 O/ {死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
- ], |  ^) R4 o. nHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
1 {6 C1 L/ I; A8 t! X2 Y/ X1 o+ C后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。% M) r1 {& s) K
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。6 t3 X# `0 Y7 O# H0 ^
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.5 `( y' O2 U2 K! ^. m( Q
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。( L& K, W4 f9 i; P
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
& I6 x0 w( f% O2 q- \6 }, ?; cHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
0 T& r9 H  q) ~/ W) SWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）$ V; f3 k4 p: \% n: T2 k
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）1 x3 T- n4 P$ p7 [7 b
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
. k5 V* `6 ^, x' Z% X" j& R+ `; NWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）! M" ~8 b" x/ t6 s9 q: O
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）- L1 J0 T1 H- Q2 P. n7 |
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）  I! H/ k$ A4 \- O9 u) u
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）  t+ b3 L% P: z0 }
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
# I; U0 o1 {5 J7 E0 i- B+ UMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
" v- X( w0 w3 M  U$ n# j/ ]（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……