《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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9 _7 n* \( v) e, x影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
) e: l1 N7 s5 E1 r8 }* j& hWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
* |5 X" w0 P' G* K5 o% L, N) n' h0 HHolmes: I just picked it up.+ ~4 H; q1 y# c! R6 n+ t2 U! f! S
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）  m$ I1 s- R  W. f6 D, [5 J2 O
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.# N& S' Y+ p) {: K0 r* V
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
  c: S; Z+ s6 s0 z5 a( CHolmes: You did.
& o2 b* L% Z2 O2 ^; S5 I  d: P. s（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
! [+ ~& e* \- v: k' V+ RHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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( I4 J/ W& q- S- d( [: e宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。/ S1 l9 Z2 h" d& ]3 F# P
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.9 G9 O3 t9 p$ y/ E% k) z
Holmes: Granted.8 n' K- n& d& G# r1 `" A
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3 K3 U2 \$ W8 h+ j晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
' J' h- b( M& `* `Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）% x- Z6 b8 M7 u: F4 C# H
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  v6 f! E$ y7 d0 n. C拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
5 R$ ]/ l' D- e  jWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）" A  U; i; B9 \+ P% R2 N! k3 @
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4 s6 b0 W# |) P3 |* KHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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, v& k! v6 @3 z" yIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。, u- w, R; @( x' r$ v3 L: d3 [
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）5 L5 j: O0 l" _. l5 H1 V4 E' L
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?; F  @, C+ Y" Q; t7 O
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
- w9 k( \4 L- L0 W4 }6 p7 k3 pIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.1 s( T& [& P  Y0 Y; a- S( h! t
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
% }. G* Q2 ?4 o8 cHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
" g2 I& `; C, R8 WWatson: Get that out of my face./ d. e2 i& A- S3 @4 s; K1 t8 F
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.6 D0 n: {1 X* p. s
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.8 b* E6 O: _% H4 y9 M  j5 F
路人警官Clarky上场。" ]# ]9 b- i9 d. r* j5 ~
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
$ F4 `* i# i! n/ X& xHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
% @* V- w; `2 n得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。; P: L# n9 ~8 d1 q3 I0 L
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?9 @5 @) @$ X" O
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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; L# j, j, l. ]$ \2 f墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。/ Z  l3 ?, F2 Q) Z3 l, |3 z# K  }
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）, O' e, a. j# e; ?
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely., |3 U$ D. K* a+ i/ W6 q' Z
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）6 L0 m6 Q' k2 ~, s+ T& }) x" V
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。6 q  K5 @4 N( |9 x, I* |' {
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）% D, y, r( p# ]5 k
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…* y6 @: |6 o: a
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
  p) w: m1 M# U/ t4 J9 H4 ~死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。# d7 o; u& @% p0 P, J) [
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
- `% L% b% {! _6 E) Y& F& |后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。% ^  {+ Z" y) Y4 ?: o
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。& a! y' g3 p, ~) q; S+ h
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
% M3 @! ?# G; r& F! G话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。& e) e, F- L7 \
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
" T: T0 \2 T; w' |& \Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
+ [" O$ l  J* ]) g" R* sHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
! L5 W9 F) z0 ?7 a8 o2 ^' fMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
- g8 j' y) ~6 v" w( i; ~+ iWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）+ q0 V" b$ w. z- q2 z7 O0 b7 ^
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
' Q7 ?9 ]  X6 Y/ j! E6 j2 y1 t! {Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
+ p  t8 e1 {3 i) G3 DHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
4 l# w% k# k8 A6 x/ `/ pWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
: z, L) J3 b& _4 w8 C" |# u, x' zMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
( U! Z+ }* U- S7 I; m, E（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……