《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。3 }7 p5 {& O0 g% T* L: }
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, I# q4 C1 y2 J0 o7 C: Y影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
6 m% s+ k4 @0 @/ j- ~& H6 TWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）5 C0 T  ?# s& M7 B
Holmes: I just picked it up.
2 X1 s5 f% e+ \1 }" JWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）/ z7 Z7 A9 Q: \; {) t
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.6 i/ k* d+ X' E# j, U
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
- l, E2 v" I5 KHolmes: You did.
8 t+ `6 h: f7 m( Q/ O$ P; R（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）- }9 O3 _1 u# ~8 x7 f- Q7 t
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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8 k/ s/ D, q9 q# I5 I宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
! d5 l5 k" h# ]. i$ B7 G3 K$ M9 YWatson: Permission to enter the armory.) L+ v7 \7 f( y4 [, \
Holmes: Granted.. A; e8 D3 _: N, @2 N
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, o; x0 @$ Y7 q8 @晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
$ ?, H% G  P+ C& g/ K( ^Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。3 g6 p& x9 k$ L7 U" }
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。) c, d& a. y1 F  [+ x$ R5 D/ O8 P9 H
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）$ K' C2 v0 Y& a  {1 {; t
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
) s" Q: Q% N4 i  YHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）2 R; `- {( I- d" u  t/ L
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.9 _* Y4 D, s! ?$ @/ A8 e: h
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+ A1 B) u5 H$ \Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
6 @  \9 E& D" r/ m& w3 g" AHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
, q" g4 q2 `! S9 F5 l2 L* w$ P2 wWatson: Get that out of my face.: _$ W" D) k' q1 h5 m
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.& J; e5 p  c8 V- Y, m' ~1 J3 f
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
& u% M" _0 T) ]6 H" i: I: H路人警官Clarky上场。
& V: z$ z' D! T. z' p% bClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
" B, a9 J3 X! _# |, A! zHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
4 u/ h$ U; Y5 T: O6 i5 g得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。4 W5 N( R6 V$ m( k8 p
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
1 B2 M% B9 a& Q: x, [Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.7 T% T( O3 u& Z: ~* Y9 T& _- [9 A; U
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
2 A' c" E! N/ e( e（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）, p) N% t4 M1 R0 r
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
+ G& ], B) b, a6 r3 ^9 \Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）+ b' A! j9 P) B1 p
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( O4 b1 U1 h- [河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。9 s. h% e6 t: l' O) w
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
2 D7 O, Q) A- b8 k. bBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…/ S* b' [- P! w2 j
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）) H7 j' t2 x' F9 [8 S# G4 V8 v
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
8 \+ ?$ h( q# y$ Y6 D# KHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）/ g& K* x- G) I& ?9 {4 O
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
, Q3 S9 s- ~* o" u! uHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）' |8 ^  r+ \) y; u
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7 o8 V* C( b1 Y4 H, ]警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。9 _( B7 M1 |5 D3 g0 U, V! {7 l! o+ X
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.% z& B" n. K+ m5 j3 V% x
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
+ g, c5 \0 P# i8 E话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。2 t5 H1 n2 f8 r$ f# C
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
- n4 _$ t, q, L( m& t: q9 r: ]) |. gWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）, R' K$ M% N/ i2 R
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）& A( h; K4 ?! t& R
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?4 Z4 F2 \$ |# ~
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
8 W; k2 i0 G! x' {Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
+ [/ H& m; ?! C& J& oWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）3 ]7 E# m, i/ G% V) N3 U. O
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）( x2 z4 U5 ]% u" J- V
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
# a  R# B/ Z9 C  r' r, bMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）: H; F- `/ g/ G% @: j
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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" n7 Q, ]) F1 X7 u0 c8 y; F总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……