 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 5 F6 A; m$ N: I, k3 `1 p/ v
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
, t; e" s) T2 h8 LHolmes: I just picked it up.
- h2 I' @0 Z! k7 DWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) " v3 b! Z) e% ^/ e. e& \
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.& V9 l9 b& b! M% w/ M, C- c' Z1 h
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) ! D, W u& s, b( G: a. c
Holmes: You did.5 }! ^ P) j- A& O) p6 E
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
2 Y% G8 w3 e p3 _8 QHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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7 T: i. k# P1 s6 V: Z% `宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
2 W4 ~# S( w' U2 G( bWatson: Permission to enter the armory.# v' G1 ~' h- R9 j2 `7 F
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 6 e: U' a; X4 g8 G- p
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 ! o! R; B( k3 h
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) % H: }- W! Q0 T5 A9 J& j
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$ V4 Y! i4 k5 y( ]; Y1 `" }. L5 DHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 & A. \ q' Z/ X5 h, {! R, ?
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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0 S; h6 k% x. S+ b4 C5 K& e8 {0 iIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
, s. K1 o7 e. H! T3 F: ?( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
# ^* R, Y q, M$ \" R: f3 ]Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?4 U$ ?! I) j5 m
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) $ x0 j# p6 B j* e
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
0 |) Z# @! F. C1 \& CHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) . A8 k, \4 I3 t: S- l
Watson: Get that out of my face.
5 T5 {6 E# [ j* m8 W" EHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
3 x# R6 `0 b' B k% P" j! WWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
; m) |: r( K8 S/ J路人警官 Clarky上场。
2 h8 O% f. T+ ]( p; P" i4 w5 S$ oClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once./ D0 {/ {2 x! Z$ \2 l% H/ E
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) : b7 T8 v! j- ^: k8 d
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 ) T& j3 o8 _$ G$ h
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?$ A7 }+ T+ G. i! R E" E
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.8 m; `; v" a2 I; q
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) Q( C: D! D; h# G) r4 E墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 1 D% s/ l U2 m" {# j, `
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
4 y3 Z" K( H* |+ }3 F2 vHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
' E+ I Z7 I9 E' @3 mWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) - s" F1 |: C0 J* n( u [+ H( t: c
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! Y- i8 x$ g! K3 o7 d河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 ) o. V u/ x6 z3 ?7 x
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 1 g+ \8 _! H4 Y) L9 T
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
3 u+ ?5 O$ v _Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) * L( P; k: c$ O
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 ; l% V3 }6 ?; t5 z3 \
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) 0 t. `7 m; t8 y
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 5 g7 q5 l( g2 W
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
' j3 I% p2 E7 E" t# @. r- yLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. ]: c+ d* Q' W& u% |
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 0 r, |& z/ b+ R5 g
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
8 N; H8 z a0 i9 YHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
- ^, t/ K) I! _! z8 R: ]Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
# y+ D5 b1 W1 w; sHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) |$ f' ^# U Y5 M' t
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?5 [6 L. c) g* ~. { [& n5 ^
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
% J% d4 h5 |3 yHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
) K5 q, G& d* W' d( Q- EWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
1 r' y* v0 s m0 _1 s X, hHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) ; r- f( S x) A" w& D
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
; K z8 t% Y2 {+ G: J/ ?3 hMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) 8 s( d! S. `1 Q
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) $ P Z* A0 ^8 J$ ?
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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