《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。1 G1 ^& v' v9 c
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" r& ]8 E  t4 _( P' z影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。3 N. [9 Y. N8 B% R) ?
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
! k4 O3 U3 q! g2 Q% J$ BHolmes: I just picked it up.5 c; G4 O: m% O5 s, o1 F
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）2 V% N2 y. r  G# R9 h0 M
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
) U, g7 p5 t7 FWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）8 F! @! y( c+ [9 M! q
Holmes: You did.% X1 N: ^$ o* O# t/ w- K+ X
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）2 _! \& s/ a+ c7 W) x& h& M
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
. j" \# L6 K2 |2 M, @Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
. S( g# Q3 l1 a2 H9 P' FHolmes: Granted.& s4 e+ U8 C7 u
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" k5 Y0 ], J9 T) l7 \晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。. }& a! a- y$ q& Z* t, M9 g' u
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）  F4 o& ~  P! C. y0 O, N
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。' T5 w. h2 q$ }3 S& R
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/ a- ]$ {3 y! b5 |Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。8 `- U8 O; h, N& C$ W. n4 D3 l
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）& Z. @3 y3 H  I' ~! C5 Q% u
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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. x" k( _( Z8 @9 B0 B. bBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。1 B& w& z+ m5 u: I1 N
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。) J& t) U4 b2 x# {( O
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）( U$ F# C3 W. c( W" R/ P2 P
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
5 h/ Q, W: V2 W: i5 d% j8 iHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）# Z( B0 x: l# p5 T1 e" p
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.$ u) G. U" a+ h8 n6 u) k
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* [5 o+ `( I! `- Y, JIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。/ ~  E# n, k7 f8 j6 D
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
8 i1 x3 F9 e. d7 ~Watson: Get that out of my face.
# c# o; s  G8 NHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.9 C9 q3 o4 m$ U5 p. z* Q) t2 {  b
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.9 H$ A6 C' U+ x$ n  d: l7 p7 J! ]
路人警官Clarky上场。( v4 J' y+ H% x* s3 y5 g0 I
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.( U- E. R) Q1 [8 B, `
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
2 l  e+ h! S% d( i" z1 o" z得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。- P3 N7 v) ^1 t) R
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?0 s/ G3 u& o3 h) V7 K6 J7 n
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.1 M5 {) ?" K+ J) n8 P9 S$ x
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。2 B; d" j  W4 i+ i
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）. a/ U9 H& U8 S/ O! `: V
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
2 J/ x; s8 I  l, c' y  `& k5 w; E& FWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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8 o" ]2 O( p* ]" y6 B河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
9 i2 Y/ ?) r: _. [; E( hHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）9 x1 u4 k9 H  C* }! f" |
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…6 O- z4 k- B* n- l7 w: M
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
# @0 ]' P5 t( h; a5 A# n/ k死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
! v* H5 W8 E* p# \Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
: o* b: |& z$ G6 ?后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。0 @1 ^* i; R/ q7 V! L$ v
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）2 ~9 y* y8 e" R6 z7 ~% i  |# A
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
8 k: @) W  K$ [Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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! B1 p# e0 k0 ]% ?接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
. Z" c: P( {( h8 u: i8 T2 ^话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
2 l( I' H# P: dHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
- Z( F) U+ S5 Z! O. G8 iWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）- e0 i; M3 ^. Y3 K
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
. u4 m" j( v- F# Z$ P: I9 Z2 ^- ?Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
( n+ l' I$ ?2 }$ nWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）  d1 W! M5 \+ _; w
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）7 w+ i6 n" s; o2 ]' B( n) u4 h1 \
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
+ Y! A% J% q3 h7 c8 L% u; lHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）: K& j* K% y/ b, `+ O1 V$ _6 F
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
! R/ k4 h$ \" _  @7 aMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）9 h4 ?" {4 j% d3 @- K, G
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……