 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 . @8 l3 \/ Q. O/ d$ U/ I+ B
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
! _( l) j E: w' I! EWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
" {3 c8 D3 H: G( l" xHolmes: I just picked it up.# K# w/ ]& {4 F" H6 ^) Q T6 W7 x) U
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
3 H7 h) w6 j3 IHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
& l+ r. }0 V$ J, R( AWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
! I5 O# O- g2 n; B, U7 pHolmes: You did.6 L" d; E# c! Y2 O5 t& j1 M4 e
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) 4 J' d, m3 G, e% \, M
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.# A4 |# I3 Q1 W. g- p
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
( a9 }; g: ~. M/ T' cWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
5 m- e6 ]/ v) {- g/ m4 F* w2 bHolmes: Granted.& ^# h8 n3 J& w* J) C
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 / Z C$ J6 T) t. C$ ^
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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) v; |$ e3 R4 p+ r8 ?拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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! w: T) o/ f0 {& @( U# t6 bWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
0 n+ u: Z# p" H: k9 KWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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. `5 j$ I& b, Q* tHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 ' Q P2 N& w! k4 ?) Z0 g2 B
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1 D9 C( F/ E6 s( T, p& |: B) A ]5 NBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 % H) c- ^" _" U2 Y
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) p1 s* Z8 g' q9 e$ e# |
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?6 T, \4 O, U! s1 Q, S- a
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
* Y' { I! \( F) CIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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) m; s. I; t- Z! oIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 " w. |4 j8 l }% R8 C
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
' k- c2 e }* o$ N; u- ]Watson: Get that out of my face.7 s6 @ {7 G8 T+ X" W0 o
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.$ C$ r% X$ ~ x5 u6 Q
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.8 r+ ?1 d. F$ y) O3 J0 K/ u6 Z
路人警官 Clarky上场。 + E+ [# k6 ]& u: @. p1 h; \# w; Y9 q
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
3 w* F0 {" v+ Y1 F$ Z; K8 x8 ~Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
" W% k* v1 o2 r. d: q得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 X! o z" G3 E* g
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?, r$ b4 z" f2 N0 \3 {: q1 Y
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.9 h1 `4 p" Q3 u' W5 F8 F7 J
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
) ^! G- }$ c) o5 @( ]( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
$ c" J1 |3 E0 V0 a9 J7 `4 }5 aHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
1 s9 }* C# y+ A+ D6 ?4 eWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
5 g" A7 d5 o+ a2 |, nHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
* k! s7 v4 z- v8 Y/ EBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…: _& M1 v7 [/ L" {5 w: V- s/ P. A
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 2 R$ v/ X! H) b5 E) A
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 * A5 }% H* _9 t7 a4 P8 P3 ]
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
. {+ Q* c$ l/ p/ T' J6 k后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 / a, I/ N l5 L4 Y5 h8 j; q! D: g
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 5 f+ E: H; Z, r5 P
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
+ \) p E! G/ o0 ^8 E" eLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.' t3 Y+ x$ a* D) ?9 C. |2 N% g
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
! Y# M1 |6 |8 o5 Z话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
) ~' Q5 E; r* H% c* b" U5 ^8 ^6 v2 dHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) + B; u- v) _# _3 H
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
+ U$ x% v g( z' VHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
; c8 \) `% V2 pMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
5 a" t2 P% W8 X; [5 s3 L! }- h6 fWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
0 \& n" H. X& ^' z$ {, V7 CHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 4 s3 e3 D- \/ ]- |/ N$ r* l
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 3 @$ }. ` f, t: J4 C+ s: t+ Y
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
" I8 X2 P$ |$ [9 XWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) 8 a& M9 ]! [& p' |0 h& C. f
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
4 }7 N3 c1 K4 p( \+ O0 j, `( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) % h9 v/ B, q0 G! B4 E6 i& m8 D4 i
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9 q9 o( ~1 H; D" w( o4 D) C总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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