《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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5 I5 X' G3 B- m) @* K* z影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。% \+ q9 \: f/ h# [& e4 ?) C4 e  V
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
# ^# x6 G) U9 e, o2 r, g0 o. H$ WHolmes: I just picked it up.
' R. E# |; ?' ]+ ?' u# x8 ]- _Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）9 @2 S9 S) E3 i# u2 W1 r0 ]
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.; M! ^; C& ]! E. Z$ r" _
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）& |; g8 J/ j8 d
Holmes: You did.
# j! K3 Q. |0 h% L2 t* }（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
; D! o, S/ C" c- G3 \4 Y) ^: CHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.5 p$ b( @+ s7 B$ u
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
# a# M2 p1 M1 b8 w+ m$ LWatson: Permission to enter the armory.6 ~2 k0 f# T* |1 |
Holmes: Granted.( h, [* |$ i( B# ^- T0 t) v
3.
0 U9 O( X! D: a7 q1 e2 `2 U晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
( X9 f1 O( ^: [4 }Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）4 K. f9 w& O9 u5 C# A# [
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
' m& d2 ^+ J4 S3 }2 fWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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. C* e9 C5 m' @3 K9 `& rBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。% I: `1 N. P5 \: p
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。2 e! X0 B/ i* a+ C2 `0 V0 E7 f+ d
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
$ _) h8 E' f- O  Y* I# o8 t1 @Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?+ T6 P$ y8 a  |0 n, O. H3 B2 W
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）2 u5 k3 _& k' \" |7 J) Q" g
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.! O  d/ L. a4 o7 K, s
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
% q0 F5 T# z& `1 v( o3 |Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
3 ~; Y  M& {, N/ w, Q  c1 EWatson: Get that out of my face./ J( Y7 w+ }; n+ M0 M* m
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
8 h5 Z2 p4 F: o) {Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
! b. G( B: O% c0 c( l2 y% u' |; p4 j路人警官Clarky上场。
% |" G  ^" e8 \+ Y6 [* O5 KClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
+ w: r8 P0 Z% ], ZHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）5 \. J1 u; X' w2 u; b1 m
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
4 K( V4 u( @) k+ D+ Q# G. y7 f8 kWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?; D  ]3 U! X  Q. n1 R
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.# Q1 s+ [5 o! [5 ~
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
1 Y# E1 O/ ]% {（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
7 i, c2 ~# j9 ZHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
; `( t" P4 X! SWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）1 D0 f, ~1 [+ ]# V& u
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。- y* u* ]0 r9 b+ H4 J" r4 C
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
* ]( n; D9 K5 H1 l& p% ]Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
7 v) e' f6 |9 I7 J4 B1 qWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
$ A4 S. \# i2 E2 b  n. i死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。+ f5 p* K, _( @3 J- _2 i
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
' v0 ]6 I& g9 ?* K0 s! l后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。3 B! \+ X5 l2 M7 I, n& J/ Q3 p
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）) r% L3 V! c- B8 Y. |
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。. v7 X* s2 \* g2 b) a0 E% t2 ~
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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! X8 j5 h  W1 }8 Z) N  C" ~接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
  v, i( B8 g4 z) w- T0 e+ B- o话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
" x3 O* b% n5 n4 V" ]' G# }& nHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）( N) V, L: H: w$ {+ ], I8 q( g
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
( l9 b+ I; j2 h* U6 jHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）9 u8 N  t4 U  C4 o
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?% z  e0 O" T( L
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）  b( F6 E% B8 _6 m  O4 i8 W, T" F
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）9 o( V4 n, Q, y: |- I* d
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）, Y, W0 B9 ~/ e) M/ @1 J+ J2 }
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）. H% j& D# g. P
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）# V' @0 |+ ~4 B5 Q7 Z6 m% ^
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
- i0 z" m% U8 F8 ~  u$ U（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）, ^! U3 f7 W0 A5 }  g
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……