 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 ! M9 d2 u2 }+ @5 X3 |; a" Q9 ]
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
) R% e3 C/ G; \$ h w# ], C( wWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) l: b5 M7 m3 r* i% T
Holmes: I just picked it up.
! Z; ]9 b! ^: b! Y- ?9 B5 QWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) ( q1 A: P2 b. Y) ]
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
w* d6 H, b- @, M: _' I2 a' _Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) : v; e% \9 d* Q/ h$ C
Holmes: You did." Z2 ~8 q$ J3 H
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
. A- f. i, t) f% Y/ w- O8 i+ mHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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' T$ E" v1 ~$ {# ?3 r) A; e宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 ! ]- b% V9 H. d# }% }
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.0 A; k' e0 x5 @) {/ w5 u+ z
Holmes: Granted.* n7 B; V2 h; T$ v
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8 w2 A8 T; N! t- j7 p0 J. g _晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
9 r- V" m) \+ I9 G( VWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 ' ]) }9 H" V; j$ Q7 q+ S1 h
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 ) V6 q; r" s. C7 n1 [+ ^# l
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 % x( I: o# u1 ?5 u8 r( ^
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 7 v; S5 y: _9 I2 O0 M. e7 `) z3 P
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}" l- J- v+ ~ C8 R2 |, D+ E ]; @Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
3 l7 |6 I% l! C# H) [- J( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
3 H& q! i7 Q, t cIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
$ X1 p% l% _7 Y" v; `Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 7 U" i! E( W y" \. T( ?) s
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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1 M$ d5 p5 \/ AIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 " Y v' `, {- J9 j; h+ s
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
3 A2 p7 _ e! ^9 s6 N+ ~0 ^5 lWatson: Get that out of my face.
/ E* k, Q& L* f G/ b2 z7 X2 d* SHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
; }; n) F* t# [9 ~9 s+ J# vWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.- h. M ?( C, a$ s+ X) W; k, J( f
路人警官 Clarky上场。 , ]$ Z: y) K' P4 l/ u6 n z
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.% D$ o4 E. O9 q# v- k5 d
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
# T: o& y2 O: {得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
; B" f. V2 G, J/ LWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
3 j5 W3 E5 V0 K1 oHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.6 K, I5 p8 |( g6 q* v1 }
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
2 i2 t: A, H9 L( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
( ?* }4 z* E A( g6 U c* ^- ^8 rHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
/ K( H2 h: y8 ]" ZWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) - }1 l% C) ?, E' S2 X
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 ! D! ^& l. ^- J/ S- h
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) . _ G3 T' } V& i9 s$ y- T
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…! o }6 t/ Y6 ?0 @. Z
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
( z: f; @" x! M) \5 j+ @死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 ! R( v S( n% d0 A% m% L
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) : ]9 R6 g' Y7 J- X) B) ~
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 7 O6 x* ]( V8 x# d( ?+ Q
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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/ l7 Q: x% T& S警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
6 ]5 ^7 Q% d" tLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
& {# Q0 W/ x$ i% s8 ]+ H话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
/ q3 ~8 m! P* S' SHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
9 W1 d, ^1 p9 f/ XWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) / x$ H& V$ n5 P4 `
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
/ f! ^7 p; t6 \4 b, ]' C! YMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
0 A& A5 V5 c1 k- A/ W' RWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
2 o( y) q u9 }6 Y SHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
h1 [) _5 z+ K4 H. o aWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
1 y7 ~3 \$ M6 {Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) , O& J& T7 }- S D- S( S
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
* u0 t' M f0 z" Y2 _4 {Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
3 B4 y( Z p& P( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) 0 Q' q* |- J9 V4 |1 ~
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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