《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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- w5 d3 k4 d  ~+ |3 Z影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。; d: n8 V+ Z) ?
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）2 V, q$ j* b) c% H$ e5 D
Holmes: I just picked it up.
3 K/ g* s5 x% q5 A/ lWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
9 o# X: ]  F/ p; a, B% a+ T/ [Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
3 k6 m  j: G. R; f5 K( lWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）4 j& H. q9 i; K2 M9 Q: O5 O7 s, O
Holmes: You did.
4 x0 u8 e( f4 R  `# l) N1 m（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
2 e8 ?" B! g9 `Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.3 M9 c! c" ^! ?* l0 V  c: d
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$ s/ O* ^, Y  O6 J! S宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
, S' G+ D; `4 ?1 r; M3 t4 wWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
* A8 n+ {8 P! K. N$ Y, e, q( FHolmes: Granted.+ `5 P5 b) `% c3 }
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9 r8 g% u2 h' n8 o8 S; ~晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。* T" ~5 x+ n+ k7 o9 m
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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; `% \4 N+ a9 z, LWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。! ~/ Y! j& Q9 _8 J# Z6 y6 X, V
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）/ o2 Y8 a# s  m1 t7 v1 T3 ^
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' ^1 Q' l" z" ]& _* O$ D  EHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。$ X/ J1 u# ^# B& T& j6 n1 ?
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5 J# ]  ^5 Q9 v2 A& M$ u. HIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
( g$ a5 t& k8 p# T（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
1 n5 F! F1 y* a* D7 dIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
  s, w/ x' [4 A* [- ]* JHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）. c0 w/ e- F" p- @+ p+ c! [& N% _
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.6 ]5 F3 f( Q# b, U  B( r6 O- Q
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- A/ l! |6 d) U/ y$ MIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。4 L% p+ ]0 y- B* o& x6 A
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）- o: L# F/ `' c0 ~4 ]
Watson: Get that out of my face.2 Y( a5 Y1 Y& I2 q
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.4 C2 q9 Z3 i7 F6 v$ o) S8 I! r9 a
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
; l' N  O; h: ~0 M路人警官Clarky上场。. o7 P6 \/ w! H4 N7 ^6 R  D4 P
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.. O. J2 x7 r. m
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
6 ~8 k/ d) _& M/ K6 s得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
& x# K1 l, S3 TWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
) c8 t% u5 [" C; A. A9 [- `Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.( w1 @! d  a  T' \$ X7 w. p
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
7 [. @# e! L/ [, Z/ ]8 f, yWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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1 c/ H9 r' l  V7 G  c河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。5 U% Y8 [" _4 q! R/ b8 C/ e5 }
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
& I' y- d( K% Z, q! n6 ^Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…0 P$ d2 e5 \2 b- a7 x3 L
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）5 m" o9 [, ?' h  B4 x
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。, ^! |5 h) {3 J
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）) q# F3 E& U  |* I$ |1 B% Q
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
4 t% @7 Y; J) f: S& u' Y" L8 RHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）) \0 O* Q7 w3 q# K* t& A! t
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  ?2 d+ V$ o! i% E$ V, I+ O警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。* x. O! a* L: Z2 l
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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, ]' N$ |5 c' p9 a/ x; Q) [5 \1 a接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。# v$ Z3 p0 E7 L# y
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。) Q& L" @8 ]2 a  I7 C5 v# `  b
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）8 M  G; i; l8 b! G
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
5 A7 b9 K- V( k- ?' {Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
- C2 i0 x9 `" W4 B0 i6 q" H* NMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?) _; a! l* l% v- z+ U2 N
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
# c9 f8 S' X$ @0 `Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
* I3 B- ~/ P$ S! l0 _& e: mWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）6 q3 N" T5 G4 `* X: Q  R$ i! ]
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）3 S+ i# d) W: |& K. T1 V# z
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）; p0 \& a# C3 @# W# P- a8 I; Q3 |
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）0 j( c" ?) E% m
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）+ d6 X7 r! x, E$ h& P% s
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……