《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。5 l, {- J2 ~  J" x
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+ c; v6 v% h% u1 R影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。$ N) z9 C" D! x/ @/ w  p
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
( R: K2 v: B4 SHolmes: I just picked it up.1 L6 X* s  @7 f, @# M3 g
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
0 x6 b* X; |" G1 A; YHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
, r/ h9 F' e) ?3 x" @/ T" C+ QWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
5 b, @3 W6 |$ o7 KHolmes: You did.7 E: C6 {$ }1 V# R( e
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
% X7 H, a, n% x; |1 s' VHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
; q# H2 [$ D$ n1 C* r- s: G1 sWatson: Permission to enter the armory.7 _  e, F9 g, S" s. X/ i4 @9 p) v' |
Holmes: Granted." U8 A7 b" @4 q2 I3 C7 k
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
2 y/ u9 Q4 F. K, L9 Z2 T7 MWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。" q# A9 R" f- q& ]" r/ J
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）4 U" c& |$ r/ N# _
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* R# {, T/ d! o3 lHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。1 A: z, u) N% w3 J. ]. n/ f
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）5 X! B8 g2 I9 N: g
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?2 v" s3 d; C& W% Z' K" e. E) w( F
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）% P/ P3 [3 }9 y9 T% G
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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9 y3 W% L1 _# U: oIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。8 _5 N( k! }! H: _
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
  ~' E" p5 t1 pWatson: Get that out of my face.2 a2 T; U7 [* T. [/ i
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand., E, N* X5 K1 K- H( x+ ]
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.# S5 t) n% y7 o9 O$ b0 c7 Q$ q
路人警官Clarky上场。+ Y! M( A- Y. e& {; C/ x/ Y$ n, a
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
* S- q: C& T: }: F( hHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）1 V0 U3 E) G/ n
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
, v. b2 g% s4 ]* K& D: nWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?. w6 T: s: P8 `
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。4 H) c9 w1 ~. Y( v
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）5 D( L& ~$ \* R
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
3 p# a" z0 M3 JWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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8 i7 G1 ?  L% j  B) Z河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
# M& V9 n( t5 a( W- \Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）2 i* x5 \2 w: g- j/ I7 z
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
9 t6 P" H, X! o9 G1 S# |Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）: O* x; s6 N5 W4 H) _1 r- u
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
3 U/ O' X; g5 X  [# C5 n9 \Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
' l% _4 w' Y5 p5 x3 {$ w9 n, g2 u后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
: E# N! u5 @9 ~2 ^! v7 e& OHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）& {4 y: n7 k3 n0 c. o
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
3 V, n# J+ U* K" D5 NLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.$ V2 X; _- W. d3 Z+ B& R5 G
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
% m) |8 o- g0 [话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
9 v7 Q- t) j. KHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）  Z  Z  \# s. @  A: u! S
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）8 H: J* \+ |: K3 x3 e
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
; b/ f* P+ E( A% n1 J/ \/ eMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
! a0 N. e( [' {Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）3 f" s+ P! o) E
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
& i) s6 A$ T& v% a1 u; eWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
! n( S- h' m0 c( C* KHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
, y5 j: x# m5 g' xWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
6 E0 Q7 g3 P. ?, T2 r: z) H' MMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
: Z. {) v$ e+ B5 c1 a（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……