《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
) P! f5 S% H5 v1 l3 ?+ C: WWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）5 q6 o% }7 c" W. x  K
Holmes: I just picked it up.
/ [0 }6 d  W2 `/ s. GWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
% }6 r; z* Z5 E( `9 H: nHolmes: Knew I forgot something.3 F+ U$ B! b# r: Q1 _( _6 v) K! s
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
% H- ]8 t% w7 ]Holmes: You did.
  A3 b$ _$ u# v" M' Z4 A（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）+ n8 I, D% j9 Q/ t# K$ h
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.2 L% t% {/ ?1 \! D2 G
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。+ H* K: }' m# Z+ K
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.2 {: E& B5 W/ w
Holmes: Granted.+ n; W& }# }. E( C! K* w
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。% K  J! }* T  B0 x8 Z
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）! c5 V3 T; z3 X
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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9 ?- U5 U8 O' }2 e( zWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
& l9 [" v: z% g* y$ m0 g/ \& ^! VWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）- X- E9 a% W& ]- z& G
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, A$ v  s& b4 A) T8 k2 NHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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! [9 w) y' b$ pBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。5 Q6 D' S4 @/ D- \
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- u3 V! a' [4 w8 @  A, u# iIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
% t8 O! A, }8 L（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）$ C3 B+ o: U( i
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
4 y% `' \! ~" _6 _' A8 WHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）; o5 B  G4 }: N* o5 z7 H  T
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.7 [" g* H: u: [2 X
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。, o# R9 Z1 q- |6 ?
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
4 i6 \4 U0 u# G) `" CWatson: Get that out of my face.
. q: r& e. y. ~Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
9 L- F  l/ s" R: o0 i7 _Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
3 P7 i+ |$ k  I6 l3 B4 _- x路人警官Clarky上场。
/ R+ x* x" B- ?2 E4 V4 B2 U; sClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.& A& W* H/ b- n; G# N
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）* w+ s& N, T8 \9 p0 v0 j4 C
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。: C) H+ i8 ^  D: ?/ ~
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
; w- G0 {1 [' Y  ?9 eHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
* u. D0 C3 @" \- M, b（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）& x6 T3 `' [( i, D
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.7 S' T. u" i; z% v9 ?* T
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）' y, Q9 o! X, K( n' V
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) W. }- T; B; s- a! r河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
3 V/ r* j! }$ P2 X- }0 n( cHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
" ~, O3 }5 Z& p2 K4 F* X) I$ tBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…$ N1 ], D4 n5 Q' k: Y. ?
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）* v8 {+ Y  Q/ |
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
* E  e3 M9 i" ?3 }6 B( ^' a& F. YHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）5 d% r! l3 w" c2 ?/ v8 Z
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
5 y! u3 V) P: UHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）; \- N' m8 N( O( q
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。! H2 F2 d. _7 v4 Y7 n' W. w
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.+ I# ?8 i' Y+ U
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
7 w6 t- E% M# C8 a% A话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
% }0 ?! k/ q0 T7 l5 w& U* [2 V$ ZHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
) U4 {2 }3 F# z5 cWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）( ~# ]9 V+ l2 r) b. X: L% p3 k% u
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）0 e! \, t; t. O6 R, Y. k
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?; K: g3 a3 f' h4 ]+ X7 Y4 F
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
( K7 |3 U& _1 \/ l; e: u% gHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
& _5 ?. [; l9 z8 iWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
: {9 J/ t( i! @# C/ d% RHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）' {2 T* |( Z. m* c  B+ g0 K6 a
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
- m, T; k+ a, ~9 S% U0 yMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）2 o$ ?0 @& T% {  G1 M# b, u# T2 N! A
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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, \- C7 V1 L+ o2 g- x0 q* G总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……