《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。; ?# M3 |6 d9 {- G3 |8 l6 I4 D4 O5 L  o
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
8 Y* ]$ s" y( P: c1 eWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）6 e  l* [; r" ]( q( g8 Z# E
Holmes: I just picked it up.
: e: ]+ p* |9 y8 ~6 X' ]Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
. S, z9 \# M/ `9 H1 |Holmes: Knew I forgot something.# a, H, x% T- F, v) J4 L* ?; i
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）6 v1 d  \/ k) ]# w  ^
Holmes: You did.$ Z  c* N; p0 ]3 C2 _
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）# T0 b# L. U6 Y1 z4 B  t" V. ?# t" x
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.# f; j1 t, w! t" f, j8 @8 S  m( e
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! ], r. G  T: l宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。) ~  U3 A* [( \' ^8 M
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
. J/ O$ @! _2 k; |2 LHolmes: Granted.; p5 I7 D! o' y
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。" Y" Y% y( k3 R
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。* U) s) x' \( G: u. i
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）/ K2 o6 \* _$ x6 B  G; D& h  x
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4 \& W# G: m: \* p0 g8 N! fHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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& b! R% W7 l9 \4 X7 `& KIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
! M5 N) N9 }4 C& Z& o+ v（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）% U3 E' z7 Z* p0 v3 i
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
) ^. O* U3 n3 {9 }Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）$ r' t5 e" c/ ]* ]+ X! J
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.! I' r& G+ M8 t  a
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
1 n# @6 Z( N# |2 z# u2 x. _Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）7 z; W* i. p2 d+ C* }
Watson: Get that out of my face.  N1 E0 Y6 T+ c! [9 O7 G; O
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
/ ~- s( O4 f6 ~% ZWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
- M( W4 H+ p9 U- b( H路人警官Clarky上场。4 M) j# N! `- d
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.- h4 ]% \/ o; f3 A' R
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
% b& A" w0 Q" E  V4 c% g得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。. F, j* P- O) a! ]0 C: [
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?  O1 L# ]+ k8 L7 L- t( r+ R' x* L+ c
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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6 x' `/ `, ?) e8 t% H6 F$ k墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
( v$ ^( {0 J7 z' p5 ^（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）, A7 z/ J; R1 D7 l6 r) F
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely." a/ M5 \: [" v1 D
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）& o  C; J' m& ?7 f" T1 c& f7 e
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% p% u# c( r7 [6 _* I3 r! d$ f( N河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
9 k7 u3 x% P( m5 F7 bHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）# s$ M6 d- R; z, h5 V5 k
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…# `2 b1 V5 Q% x* Y* r0 Y, q9 `
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）/ F, Z  y- \5 G- I/ r$ t
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。3 ^- O. ]9 }2 H8 {* ]! _) Q7 d2 U* q. ^
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
* d( X  Y4 _+ ]3 w; O* y5 {/ A6 {后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
4 D" u/ h) Q' ^1 U1 U. ?Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）- l1 ~, v) M) \; \& e
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: J2 m, u& X- n- H( l7 p8 {警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。9 a  A, G8 T! n, H6 c
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing., q: _' k4 p) ^8 ~
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。3 [4 b* l; X8 y1 L4 N- y" ~' w$ N
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
# t3 D. K5 h. |: B  E2 aHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）. H/ F/ u: Z3 n, a4 N+ p  `( K
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）! B4 N. `; ~/ |3 Z) I! q5 D2 P
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
: D2 w( T$ Z! s+ E, @1 [Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
4 J, g4 Q' R1 K& ?5 @+ T$ LWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）7 u- O2 f. z/ w) v4 Y+ S
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）: Z$ U  p+ k% |: S4 B. U7 E) b6 i* T
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
. o) T0 m8 W! e' [1 yHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）8 ?: H  _- L6 h  z' X0 G
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）% G9 B7 ^. m4 [6 h. K
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
! L9 |! {7 S* @（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）' c% F0 `: m' G9 \2 e  C% V" H7 q# F
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……