 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 2 M4 @1 B3 O7 x* M% f: K' V
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
7 t, U* j9 h3 }& |* B( [. \- `* YHolmes: I just picked it up.
: s: H2 S3 w9 R; j& h" {Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) ' m |4 \2 @+ x" y/ f
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.; W$ C' C3 ?& j# d6 h; ?
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
' }+ K% h: P, i; i- H& EHolmes: You did.0 p f x/ J. ]2 e
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
4 ~1 `5 F: f" U+ ~/ q' BHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.) A! _& a, {; D) n K
2.
r+ O( _7 Y; f宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 6 M% w9 V3 P4 @( U) x3 F5 S
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
$ s$ @0 G; x8 F& ~3 b+ U# ]Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 * r3 K3 q0 w |) |, `
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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9 k0 N8 L$ z9 ?6 |8 }' t; D拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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$ }" E/ L( Y4 [9 b5 Q8 t N6 SWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 4 \( V `* q$ q9 L0 W9 e) N
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) / T2 n) o& N( x: F s& j: t
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 " O8 K9 {" u6 M* [
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
) K$ ~6 x& M9 d d( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) + e7 J8 s( w3 m @6 k; u
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
9 u0 h2 c1 H9 Y }8 [Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) , h" D9 f/ u; M3 c/ [. `: |; N2 T; }
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.) s6 M/ w/ }* ~. ?9 d* \
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
! i, Q4 p+ Z! w$ w4 sHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) / \& S6 c) w3 D6 T
Watson: Get that out of my face.
% w# Y X4 ~9 B3 u3 _. dHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
6 S9 H& Q- d" O& M2 d, R# m& EWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.. B t# U, e. p6 k/ l
路人警官 Clarky上场。
) i8 `" a) M& t7 `Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
' |4 P) P( u a! b: ^' q/ u6 jHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
0 h8 n# I* V" h9 q; y" {, a% {* q得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 $ z- M4 ~% I2 V J( {4 k7 @
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?! `' h' {- F' P$ x. F
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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3 v4 g6 G/ y% r1 k墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 # m. S# ^0 q$ o, ?
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
8 z. v* W! v2 lHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
9 ?. o$ I& R' o# @Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) : F) r6 R* y {9 }
11.
2 i4 P" s' V# A/ u1 {3 J& p河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
0 ~/ B% ~: t9 THolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) ; j. T& y0 T4 f `5 T
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
- {6 i3 c# C0 u4 p4 RWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
, V+ z! |, V% q3 y8 P& s死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 ' S3 o- s, f$ y- g( E
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
6 H2 W s1 e/ e6 X后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 " y( |2 O% W9 |; I% m' k
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) % S" y" R( D3 T% U+ P
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
& ~ C+ r0 A2 w& c- `; Q, gLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.* q0 {$ E9 ]) K7 d- C
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
3 S7 K$ p$ A+ u. f7 ~" q) {话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 ( K" }; o E6 F' m6 u
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
6 K7 B6 K0 S: Z7 `2 E" pWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
, i# c$ Q7 X" s, u) y1 D! ?+ {Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
" s* m/ I6 R' t0 R3 f/ E- T1 YMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?. Y! C+ Y1 K& }1 x5 M
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) ; Z* a' K. W' K+ M3 X8 Q6 v
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) # }5 \; _* ? c& o
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
2 K7 E1 J: |- M" U2 q" x; m$ V% `Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
* ~3 k) K7 A! J ]/ F4 u CWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) 4 t" V9 C9 u5 }- F1 s
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) ) \+ \2 t9 n5 g' ?
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) ( q" F6 J5 N$ H! U6 [, F R# I
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! b Z/ y- Z6 f0 s总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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