《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
0 E. }8 ?, H4 _& b6 V$ D***********3 e+ J5 k# j' L5 A
1．8 o) I+ n" `+ P  E1 c2 s
影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
5 [/ M3 F$ ?# n* TWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
" O( R+ J2 {" i6 c0 l, MHolmes: I just picked it up.; F; ^5 \& |. ^+ i$ P
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
3 v  b4 ~8 l9 L0 P& }3 dHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
! P8 F* {( \7 [) CWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
+ p* L' v$ y# PHolmes: You did./ Y  |+ W6 x' y2 Q
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）( t* T: u- `9 B3 l- _
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.! u" }+ K9 P+ ?' ~
2．+ q1 R4 [' E! b3 ]) M9 A
宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
$ y: K, C/ c) G3 h4 z. kWatson: Permission to enter the armory.8 W  P0 j8 S! P
Holmes: Granted.$ @4 g: Y# H9 |; }7 U* w
3.
$ P5 p& z1 Q6 s: v. ?* p! J6 l晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。8 `$ i' a/ s- A2 A8 w9 W9 a
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）# @; m! ~/ v; Y. m1 e0 Y/ T
4．
/ r. ^. J  e& u% I( w" z: N拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。0 Y$ l: S' C) y% x% |7 S
5．
4 L& C1 v. P. I1 C  ?  h$ PWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。( f" i$ P0 _, \
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）/ i, l8 F* a4 P) `
6．
: t' r+ R" P2 u! u$ B9 {; P- THolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
, f- d* w) T  O7 e3 c. Z7．9 }% @1 h- U  L. ^# f& z
Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
' n! `6 U! S; O. u8．
/ u  G# P! u. d& a- n0 B2 dIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
& t- U- b  d" e. Q8 G* \（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
" k1 F% `* i0 a5 ]& ?& a7 @Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
. X/ n5 `: o$ `; d% P( BHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
! M9 B" d) t( A! GIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
. }2 M" k8 T' {, ^3 K" s9．
- ]# R! b0 h" W' ?& e4 iIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。. o  M0 C) O3 f4 o/ K; T1 |9 J
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）$ O& L2 X: K; H1 g* C
Watson: Get that out of my face.
( @8 |- E+ J; h/ Y: c9 XHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.+ f7 L" z1 `4 E/ Q% w
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.! y& B' A# C& O1 N% `" s/ H
路人警官Clarky上场。
1 `  a4 ?+ q) o# S3 A5 j0 s, iClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
0 p% u5 F" y$ B/ `Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
8 |- d- f' a! `$ P8 G# U0 a+ v得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。) \+ _" y4 d, M* [  ~! V
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?) I+ _# c9 }0 Y: {4 O+ u& x
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.0 h" {- W  a+ ]3 Z# Q# P  y- b  ?; R
10.
% C( O9 X0 H) f& M7 q6 f( l$ z墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
4 D7 f7 D6 |) `+ q（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）" V+ w- o) E8 Z, A; ?4 d
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
5 c- X6 A( _' g5 I( K; m) l+ `Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
* y2 F: h7 a8 S, @11．
5 f. g9 d- K1 c: z河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
! A% b0 q$ E/ j4 bHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）* z" U6 ?- S. I* ]
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
! Q0 A% m% v8 ]$ XWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）' b( ~8 Z' R9 R1 u2 u* K
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
1 p" ~$ R/ Z  Z# U+ JHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）& K* m. z- A/ q7 h* r! [
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
# G3 d" T) C- g0 _& q" WHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
; c8 C! f1 J! o' M1 o' z9 [12．
  c/ {# R6 h: u9 Q$ j  r警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
' O8 \3 G) f; ^( F! d; b2 cLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.1 `$ j# k0 f8 o; _' q2 Q8 I
13.
' L* y" a6 N/ a% u) a接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
8 ]" q4 @2 W, {) Z0 X话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
( Y8 U+ z( t7 ^: RHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
3 Q' [. }% C+ Y  u- B4 eWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
2 M" S! V/ f7 b" L$ G( T( M* Q& \, tHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
2 c! Y- L+ h+ X1 `( ^Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
8 d* k- b7 |$ Q+ J. B  A: H  m3 kWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
& |! h  ]  J3 F4 Y3 jHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
. g; ^; `* ]( v: lWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）9 X6 K- y% G) g* ]3 [
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）6 z# ~* e4 m# W0 \! l" g
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
" Y# R) u1 w" f1 i$ J! _: ~Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）4 B7 ]; g6 T8 D( r
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）/ v. A' x8 g6 c
***********9 U' K5 K: f6 Z5 k9 C1 P3 |1 n! O
总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……