《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
- M  O, U9 @% F% X! T1 F***********
  ~! w* F. N* B  H  C: ?. G7 o2 i1．, \8 J2 f) _3 @' |
影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
) d( k! X! E9 w6 K8 E2 m1 kWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
8 ]- s: n3 r+ C( @# V- pHolmes: I just picked it up.
( \1 q; u- Q& j! UWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
& i2 U5 i, p* w" @  ^5 [Holmes: Knew I forgot something.6 N( Y# T3 _& b0 l
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
, a* V' Q" K' t& wHolmes: You did.
" C/ _6 Z" u6 i( _6 `（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
' N! V- Y; R' D* D+ |+ a: oHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.0 i$ z& s8 x) F. w5 f) Z! x6 ^& ^
2．; b$ ^, P% I4 g% q$ Q
宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。4 f- W+ \: D3 V9 y+ [% Y
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
+ Y) ]! |( V% P. D7 O2 ~7 rHolmes: Granted.
0 K4 q/ v" h, a2 Q" d2 G; Y3.
+ m5 r  z* B7 a7 k. F/ M晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
9 K# P8 U' f2 K7 \0 Z  M2 nWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
# E) b! ?# V7 H# [: C" f1 t4．. W% v* H, Z) a' ]
拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。# K$ Y. O% c% R/ z
5．2 n  E; r  r5 R$ o; [" A! Y4 J% j
Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
9 d7 ^8 N% S3 R( ?9 w; V5 QWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）) z/ |1 X+ D# O* [4 n
6．) {8 ]: g. O0 r# P
Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。' y" D. g& p9 K) L7 o4 C
7．0 o& w; s8 p) v: l9 v
Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。! Z: E2 \. J, f5 D
8．$ D9 c0 ?1 y( F
Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。1 U, g" v* R9 S6 s% @
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
& k% j" Y. Q; C; p0 _Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?1 M7 q; U# n4 `* A3 N( A
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）# ~( s! ~! r/ |) ~
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
! I3 D3 K: W5 X' s3 R# D, r9．
3 b7 G# B6 V: V* V6 bIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
* ^6 x, r7 G' q( y. bHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）) F6 w$ _0 N- |/ t) n
Watson: Get that out of my face.; ~1 S8 l) ~( x% \* H+ s9 m( ^
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.0 c' E- a0 \0 ?+ x& T
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.! Y* {% Q2 w+ P) p* A1 R
路人警官Clarky上场。
4 |6 V9 e, W/ J* N  FClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
4 }: f& |" a# |+ ]& f' VHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）0 d. q' [9 `6 E
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
( Q1 X- o! ^: Y5 E" Q  m' D& p8 vWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
9 s& k& {% [' A* X) jHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
/ F- z3 j1 d$ C" O9 B$ H7 v10.
" |2 U+ N% k9 k. _6 |墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
, c( E. M& |' W; w; k- L' Z( [（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
. h: o" k- ~  d1 D) N& d% CHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.' c3 w  R) D/ M( B
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）) o. d9 a2 s* I
11．& V- {7 m3 }5 ]
河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。% e" C" J4 {9 G4 H$ _* g
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）0 k/ L  p; j- d1 ?( ^8 \' y
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…, S" [- r: O  E; d! g4 O1 B
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
7 l- L, B* e; _0 M8 d死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。8 V8 k0 t. p) j' Y8 D
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）3 W4 d, p) g! [
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
- g6 V& G; M: l* R5 A/ z$ ]Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
4 T+ D8 r% _& _) K* w: L12．) k/ U* f' q4 D3 Z7 W0 I( h5 Q
警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。5 W4 f5 M& |) s  E# k1 w
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
& v* l# I) ~! Z; q, e! t13.
% |5 W) u- ~  t2 G) D9 A6 K接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。' y* I1 d5 Q# B  U  P
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
5 I+ `. ~# `, Y3 T4 K/ p( x; xHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）6 B* H7 `: |/ Z5 l; ^/ T% E
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
7 y4 b) u4 C# H' S* u2 q% DHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
2 C0 K* z: ?% n/ ^- [8 @: t: p" sMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?& L# i' O- k0 L6 U% S& o2 W8 ]
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）9 ]( Z* ^' Z; r; x6 f
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
6 Y; u! Y) u8 C8 d+ \1 f2 Y* y" tWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）. l' Y% L( u: }" M, D
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
4 m; K0 d( j+ }, b; z  j7 c; rWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）' C  W. A( [  m
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
; [& G0 i* z4 l; N3 a  D" ~6 n9 ^（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）4 `& `. l6 g" w( p7 _+ Q
***********5 \: Z8 E* ~1 S' P2 Y8 D7 J4 Y
总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……