《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
0 c! H7 }4 s8 P! _/ g; G5 K3 ?***********
) p! L: S1 s) n9 K- F8 Q) s1．
8 \6 O0 l5 T# _+ M9 F7 c影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。1 ?0 H" o5 J1 |! T% m% j2 k
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）' l+ @$ W1 E+ A% _- u5 o- e+ r" h
Holmes: I just picked it up.: I0 P  n& D* K- H4 D# @
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）( }/ ^) v5 J  B" Z. f& l* s, I
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
: `4 e( U/ {/ C% _Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
6 S) c4 H: I2 s2 H  i; WHolmes: You did.) s- m! ^6 \1 d" [! i1 b3 i
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）/ ^/ l+ j) f' J2 H2 i! p
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
, k' h5 P  y+ _# o2．$ T, y' G) X7 \% \
宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
$ V% ~7 _- u2 j: i# e$ e, ?0 ~Watson: Permission to enter the armory.! L. l. U* r0 r& a& E
Holmes: Granted.% K& X& d; U2 j: |8 Q9 B
3.! B" Q0 r3 T3 ?/ E" ^4 H# i# ]
晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
. F3 H8 d1 L' C- _Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
: `  v( m2 @. b9 _& y4．
9 Y" J$ j& Y) {- B& x/ O! O8 r3 z/ B拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
% N7 K. B/ p, G3 S0 {9 }5．
# A/ w2 }) S6 r4 @3 a2 q# D6 w" wWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。0 E5 K5 q( [$ ?. x2 o% k
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）8 Z6 A0 O% [7 ]( @) B
6．% _7 i. K2 i' T2 {3 j* A' D5 |% Q
Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
% o, P4 u6 }$ A, N: N7．. T) b0 |4 s0 J+ c" R
Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
- B$ Q% m$ \8 B+ o& M$ S8．" X& e6 U& F* K9 M3 k% a3 r
Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
8 e& i0 m' m3 v6 L（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）! `$ P; z; P+ U  K3 Q
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?" R0 v( L! b& i
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）" |* }$ }/ f* y7 H( v$ j# I3 y
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope." h, j, c% l( W0 M( e. W9 H, r
9．
( g1 p( z* Y; O* e- R# c2 ^% iIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。) b4 Z. V1 ?+ w# }' v: |  n
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）1 X# \5 t$ Q  l
Watson: Get that out of my face.1 e# o) w* G% L/ y5 ^! D
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
8 q7 R) [/ |! W* F+ m2 WWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.+ N3 j4 }& P6 p0 w* d
路人警官Clarky上场。3 e9 f: j, l' W, `
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
+ d% J1 n. i$ F- c% BHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
, k& o* }3 \' E% b得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
! W$ j4 T3 g' `" ]Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
# J; s% L" c9 h& c: U; eHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
) g; f/ x* O$ F" J( g* a: T! A10.
9 B. J" x' y6 }2 k+ H$ ]* s) e墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。6 e/ e% A, n4 g
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）' ~; n- t, Z2 l  J0 h2 ]- B+ v& G
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.. t1 G6 I+ C  {( z# w. t  J
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）: b, H+ J9 \2 F
11．) ^6 p# C/ \2 d0 v  r
河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
5 m( d6 a" C" J+ q& BHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
' |; W0 o5 v6 }7 `3 ]+ CBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
1 S& X0 R2 W0 o0 c, pWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）, e  M1 o1 n0 l4 d: d7 L" g9 T
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。  z1 S' V3 K- l& ]( O, w
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
2 i8 y4 V4 J: D后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。9 l1 R. I6 V# H. D0 `8 [% x
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
# E2 ?1 e- ^9 l: P) T% W1 R+ M& M12．# P$ }# a! l, l( P; s' J
警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。4 d: Q% |4 r+ {1 e
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
) b+ @: T* e) D: R- h13.
3 N/ i9 O0 l6 o: A7 d7 n接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
; t3 G5 ~* _6 P- s4 [5 i; T! E话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
% S. X3 ?, I. m0 b( ?Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）7 S5 k. c. F! u  w
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）; {6 S8 S) M. W5 m
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）% Y$ [6 o, ?$ M8 V) B, {8 z2 a
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
9 d! t! B7 z0 [6 g" I+ n8 l! dWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）7 \& p* l* }: t2 e, j
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）4 O$ p2 X$ w0 b# t3 A/ r; W
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
2 C: \" n$ p* THolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
9 \. t' n1 B  u* UWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
2 D- G% S8 @$ OMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
- k. E( B3 z( ^3 [. h2 g2 v3 a6 |（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）. E& S# F: Q7 ?0 S: w
***********5 k3 L) w8 {" X: Z
总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……