《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。( y6 i/ x7 @1 K
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
8 x$ ?+ d$ n3 Q6 ^7 R5 v( QWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
- H; `1 n. B( C# v7 [' RHolmes: I just picked it up.
* e/ A6 G9 p/ Q3 l) QWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
8 G; d. D, O+ y% [" A! ]Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
! c$ q6 M& _& F9 AWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）1 v" s2 R7 p& _* w  e
Holmes: You did.
/ A5 ~; X- a$ g7 Q4 w; a（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）* v3 d& e2 u- B1 ]. m+ N4 }5 z
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.- E1 v8 F* d1 v! P: c7 q# E
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, u8 e& g1 v" [) e宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
' ~1 e3 O+ i1 m3 y' n( a" f" Z8 ]Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
1 h' Q9 c# P; F1 w4 v" jHolmes: Granted.
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1 I% |' N! \1 z6 y& z3 y晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。2 h9 I  W6 A: C, q5 u
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）! E4 _# B! \* _( D4 Q8 F
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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% c9 @7 b' j9 x+ a1 ]+ ~7 V# }Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。4 t% ]$ A5 J2 p- {, i
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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6 |- t2 _1 M  z8 V" qHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。. h# G/ h3 \) }3 w8 K" u
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. @; P% N! A8 q; KIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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3 X2 k& \: F% `2 O2 m. i0 GIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
- P5 V% n, b! u7 cHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）) x; f- ?1 g: ~+ E# `2 F! R+ m) ?6 L
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。# H' X* ~7 @% P8 N. b3 u
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
1 D3 [: U# Y1 h+ V" X# uWatson: Get that out of my face.0 K+ J: |$ l6 k7 G% E0 ~# L# m
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
0 |1 d2 @7 Z4 h2 n7 I2 p. R; DWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.2 H* l' g2 j  R, F
路人警官Clarky上场。
; {; g- E( f8 o& W5 o6 n) vClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once., U, n- f: R4 n7 `) F2 Z) r
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）1 T0 g$ o0 E  y4 E' d" D7 ]
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。+ J& a# X" Y; A0 i
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
8 x/ p5 e! }0 w1 m" A6 R# LHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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, N$ c/ R: X/ v. e4 G! R1 M墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。: P( F+ A  B1 {, e
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
" y) p" |; F3 g3 {6 wHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
& u1 N7 d4 i( z+ T3 X, xWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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: t# W! v) b7 c; }" z2 ?+ ^) H河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。, Y; @  ]! O9 a1 H
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）& w% A# k4 C4 [" H: w' j
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
/ |+ W) e+ \# g4 l2 `6 SWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
6 t/ v3 z$ x( k6 z9 C$ ^死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
; u% e# ^' a, C% {% Y# UHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
. W% D0 A" B. P( `; x) \& A后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
1 F* m' S& q1 B$ |% V) B6 aHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）+ c9 r1 D7 c' @+ B6 f, _! `* a
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5 f" l7 v0 u2 M( s7 j, H警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。/ }4 R+ S. C2 l
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
2 O5 D% |; j  ^$ C( S; o话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。) Z$ B. m; m) Z
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
; S/ K, M4 K: ]' h* a7 lWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
% O; e* t2 _. M+ e( n( Z6 ]+ C" MHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
* X$ u* L* _3 {Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
4 I8 I3 t4 ]6 ?' lWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
4 k! G  Z2 e9 e' H% D; rHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）* P$ x2 t+ Q6 u5 z
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）. v: U7 _& n3 j, k
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）# d- v3 r, {% Y
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
; q: N  ?( r# V- bMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
8 ?% N: ~9 e+ R" @3 w（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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; e3 ?/ d  A; R' x总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……