《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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$ D, p8 B$ z" u" a影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。- U6 a) L7 t* k1 ?0 l, a
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）, \5 q1 m' K% J# `! D
Holmes: I just picked it up.
& S& ~, q' Q4 ~! X. ZWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
( i5 U! j; y2 W" S- j: CHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
# Q6 W* C' P8 P* `& WWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
% v( m! Q; N  \8 m& @9 y" o% YHolmes: You did.
. S- W  Y/ O! L* w% Q* J（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
/ o0 ~6 T' _* b+ OHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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- q3 Y9 U* g4 \4 r$ n宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。0 M3 e. q# f  B' Q
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.) M5 V+ N0 b3 @
Holmes: Granted.3 Z8 J) z. Y5 K* ~  b, Z
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' ^  H9 g8 t! e; w. q晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。; r2 T' e! j: B+ V. ]: O7 F
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）* F/ t$ Q3 p0 ?7 ^! e4 a+ G
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$ z6 u! `; B; A* G% f6 A8 X9 U0 z8 F' c拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。& n* x+ m; E: q) ?* t4 ^1 c
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
4 o' W: W$ K) D/ ?Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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) t- ?7 ~" H3 w$ @: R. Y* ~Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
$ C. B% T/ r6 i（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）7 @/ }$ g: p( A- |- z
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
# d. ^: X) n% P( `Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）7 l7 Q. C9 C1 m
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。# R& }( b8 Z  T! x6 _- j4 j, N
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）9 L/ ]$ c" E* j2 m( B
Watson: Get that out of my face.% }( K: e7 f, a4 `7 j; s5 d
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
" b9 K4 U5 s, l/ `/ t4 d, mWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.1 b/ t* ]8 K; @3 L/ I8 T& F* |  ?8 `. L
路人警官Clarky上场。
' _8 \) e" c+ |Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
. r4 G* o5 T0 O( s% G6 W$ JHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
  d3 V1 _7 m: L: `) m& @- C得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。1 e$ e: y' H0 K. ~
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
$ Z3 k* j* g$ H6 f, ]) u6 FHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.0 y$ H" a; G, o# o* d
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2 ^1 S5 ]3 S$ E. z1 R墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。+ l+ h! x( {, b6 O
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
& q% z; O0 r. c# l* QHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.$ W, P+ z- P) K& x
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。) J) w! ?6 k0 a6 {! q
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）2 c% i8 D0 @, D0 m6 Y
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
4 p) l0 L8 d# \! E+ f$ z6 R/ uWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）7 U; y3 i" `; F' `8 ]
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。. e3 X) B/ y3 Y8 I
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）. q1 F6 l2 G1 ~. B3 ]5 f, c
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。# G9 u; h0 L! J4 q8 c
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）4 s' u4 I7 F+ c) \
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。5 m4 O0 `% i+ d6 `3 P0 z' W7 v
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.. _! C$ V8 i1 p
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- Y6 w* \# p9 }' Q- S8 \7 E: r接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
: u1 W6 j9 ~3 Q: i/ {+ `话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
$ F. V! z' C  p- H+ V3 l# qHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）  s, j3 \1 p( z2 i. L
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
/ h! o4 d6 M% j9 m- ?' n8 |Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
# [1 B; K' s) ~  Q0 fMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?& i  |$ p0 M+ F1 B" v+ i
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）; A# c5 I5 y. q; P4 y: H6 I' O
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
9 Q( G" U: \4 S" p  _' u: FWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
0 o: C) T4 I) j0 n0 {# D" D7 ?Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
# E  E8 U+ y* m: _% k' ?) iWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）1 ~- Z, G* b7 E6 c8 {
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）7 {) U+ r6 n' V3 t) n
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）9 e( u: S$ R$ `0 a: b4 d+ {
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……