《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
- ?! G) w: h5 t. ?! |+ u. pWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
$ F0 |( `) Q& W4 R9 O$ ~/ }Holmes: I just picked it up.
* L0 _2 c, T2 k6 K/ ~! N  NWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
) A/ H/ K3 V$ x9 r$ m$ D* OHolmes: Knew I forgot something.' `: {/ ~; q. c6 s: L
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
2 s) y! C* S& R4 O1 C8 J* C% ^7 \  a, dHolmes: You did.& R' T3 R# P) X
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）$ ]' S6 v6 n& n, w+ L6 \
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all., r: E- n5 X& n% m* N# i! ^
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* @) e  Y4 w* V; o+ j宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
* H6 X* _& D- H; qWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
6 I1 U( C: H5 `3 R/ vHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
" y+ g+ y: K5 IWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）. W2 J6 L" p7 d$ e% ]5 g) k
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
; ?" i; u8 x! }5 s& `! a6 IWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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' L& `2 [; _$ D5 I* _! `' DHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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/ {+ i2 \! D+ u. @  K; RBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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+ {6 j4 a( B9 ~# \2 b# `Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。; k8 W/ E' T0 N+ _' ~2 _
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
& W" w& z+ P& s. L. O& r( }3 sIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?3 S% u) m) ~7 @# R8 x) F2 h
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
! ?3 x: d; v: h$ D( X4 S$ i4 n5 LIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.0 ]: ]! @' v5 i$ V; {$ ]* P; e6 Q& }
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。" U' H1 J3 J+ r' t  R
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）% M5 f4 C. ?0 t" l
Watson: Get that out of my face.
" S+ r; P0 g5 y3 d! ]Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.7 x9 J/ Y3 J1 ~; {
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
& _% e6 j* ~5 d路人警官Clarky上场。
3 H1 l; Q0 B8 ]4 G% y: NClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
- c. Y+ y3 {% MHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
' t- Q; K$ u8 |, x2 L3 W, E得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
1 B5 l7 o- P! UWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
- v' x. J+ f+ P/ G  @7 A% \Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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$ g- Z8 i% l4 I( ^. K墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。  @& `0 _% X0 |" n3 ^1 E& ^
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）7 x: K# o' b0 j
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.7 j* N0 Y, k, @8 \
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
2 t8 p  a+ ?. {6 c9 X6 y  l" xHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
2 _2 H7 M! f" L( UBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
7 z" X9 _  O6 d& _8 l2 `Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）1 T% b* j6 Z# {% ?  B* K6 x" A1 ^
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。4 a3 B: [0 M5 u3 T& r% n7 v
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
- G0 }; q" Z9 z( ]7 V1 P& e2 G后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。! ]" m8 X+ c% _- q
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）9 ~2 Y( V( Q% U2 w
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7 E! {' L6 {" Q9 l警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。: F* w& U2 v2 i7 z4 w, n4 \  o
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
, y8 s  Z  _( W# R" Z% k6 F话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
+ d9 L$ u& Q3 O% M/ @Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
; q& u) I; d( p% L+ s1 O! i. cWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）" x5 V/ j& G9 g# r; c0 F
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
/ j; r2 a% f* @Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
% N1 i& o% _4 T6 @& |) c- FWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）3 D# y8 \. N) Z5 B, S# A
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）/ y. k3 B/ a- w$ Z5 W
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）9 f, B9 ]. o, v! {
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
' G4 U- G  I5 N9 \1 d8 ]Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）- o0 |; c  l' S7 j- C$ u
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
! [& q- y) c0 ]8 d（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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& v  x+ _- D3 Y5 K4 w总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……