 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 . S9 W1 E# s. i; O
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8 u/ x, _: b3 R% O v影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
5 U6 B3 t' D0 k& T& N# r: c1 d: J4 XWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
% o6 y( K9 [ [Holmes: I just picked it up.
+ v! g1 X" f: _+ q; h) C# S) F2 EWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
) t) H' c) R7 z& U2 ]Holmes: Knew I forgot something.9 |' E0 f9 M; K
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
& U$ g/ ]! p. r/ x. f" aHolmes: You did.
; i3 J! Y5 u: I, O4 `(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
. j+ ^" G9 x; A# pHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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( N- I# W \- c, {+ S6 x/ c( ?& U宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
& o6 O* T6 a- ^# cWatson: Permission to enter the armory.; k; `0 d9 @6 e- P
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 , u( b4 B. a3 \( }' b
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) + {. w9 }# S+ k; L( S3 g
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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$ G: I3 g6 Z6 E" q& o6 V8 F+ nWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
2 K: S1 G, D$ J5 uWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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4 \3 W" N. q8 t: ~+ i: t" f2 q+ e* tHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 ) K/ l# w3 b7 ~9 N
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2 T+ v# @ X" V' s8 xBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 + i6 X* e! ~7 U" R) [# N8 O
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! }! H* N4 o$ O( q0 w7 U3 \6 fIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
: ?1 {; `6 J& x; c) f7 I! s# ?( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 9 E, \: `9 o7 h- _
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
4 S- }+ `: m- `+ }9 mHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
R2 [: N3 ]6 m9 hIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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0 s3 Y5 e4 i) gIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 3 V1 N/ |! a) s' ?+ Z3 I, R
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) . a1 m" Z$ G; O9 R+ l, r
Watson: Get that out of my face.
; k8 G+ O0 B T, Y) I. `$ I2 ZHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.. G# ^3 W# o6 S; W' w4 \/ e2 N
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.' S+ L/ n* m% ~6 y; V: z! v/ a- M
路人警官 Clarky上场。
% J6 x0 P: V* O# {! FClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.* A* M3 ]: p( ?* B% \4 ` r2 A2 _
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
c" p- [ \2 F& c- h得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 2 a+ {& p, f' W0 i0 w9 A8 C0 z
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?( i$ S: e- O. P# z8 n
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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^" w" I' U) l* t1 [ s. b# q墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 / a% u. K# @% B/ `! |/ X
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
" p; M X. B, ?! c# L- R6 L2 g( ZHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.0 G3 Q& `2 B* Y! E6 z
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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0 J7 t+ u) Y% ~' b1 Y- T河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
; ^# x2 i/ m& SHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
# L2 d( |( z* C: \Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
- s* N* N4 b; F& A5 w! O1 WWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) ! G) Z5 }! n) Y$ w5 i. \) u
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 7 I }2 K& }$ x c' Z
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) 6 }# `4 R8 | [( W
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
- \, N2 b5 b3 q* M+ k) A( X8 aHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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- Y; B' e' n' N9 K$ Z0 P警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
/ u6 C6 z }% V& N. gLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. F6 c% U6 S# K
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
7 f6 w) L1 {3 D: ~8 M+ f话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
1 w* @3 j: L% E& {* `* v3 I- B6 LHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
! K- w% e$ l2 M: H' U: D4 CWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) ' Z2 W9 x. g$ ~' p9 n$ }
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
" E3 ^3 F T7 q/ ^- ~Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
2 J5 T0 n$ `9 m" w$ z9 MWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
4 R; R0 j. J2 t! }+ `. i. CHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 2 j$ O9 X6 y0 d8 P! ~
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
& \" q2 e0 e1 ?$ B. zHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
: p% y0 {1 d- {. d- T" hWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
! e2 Y9 M& B5 c+ G# b$ kMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
7 Y* }9 w8 ?1 _! y, ?, N# i9 H( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) O# P/ C$ p, H: m2 v7 G- Q, c
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8 H' T2 r7 \7 i m8 l3 C总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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