《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。% @' W! Y2 F( ]1 R- e
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
2 y7 o* P5 s+ ^6 [3 }* RHolmes: I just picked it up.
7 h) D0 ?5 @- G8 qWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）: |* e, M" g% @* d8 a, |
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.' j5 u! f' |- o; s- C, r- c1 F
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）" }  [, j( [  u) A: ?: r5 v) I
Holmes: You did." M3 @! T) d  d6 ]
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）8 r, C6 \2 ^0 F& M- ?" g9 g
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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+ V5 m* {) ?! x( d$ H4 W宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
, ~5 C5 S7 ]6 E/ C; [8 SWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
" Z. u  ~, A% N) t7 L# M3 d$ i# FHolmes: Granted.
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& W" {  k! `! q2 P1 q- T1 ^晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。1 t! B3 ^+ w7 W8 g) t; l
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）" p: z: W! x6 ~3 @; y: L
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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1 X# z1 V2 W" _5 YWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
9 n. b+ y5 B% z0 R" C2 c+ Z" PWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）/ p1 p4 t* w( B5 K3 t: x+ F
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。! F9 F) |6 I) m2 m3 c. g8 a
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。2 N7 k3 |; s6 C5 M9 F7 h" y: k
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。4 Y( T; B" c. w# }0 k# f, C8 G  E# F
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）$ p3 ~+ Q+ W( a6 E. F, t* ^
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
6 Y: S( r0 T0 f+ \7 K% nHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）$ C% N% X$ w) o- `% W" s4 M1 ?% Y, ]
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。( i1 R0 j/ U& ?! C, p
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
* V& i" T" k5 z0 [; KWatson: Get that out of my face.! k8 J  G* |3 @9 e  q" [7 b7 N: x
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
% _/ p9 T" s; y  G5 mWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.  ^" [* H: C% {1 Q
路人警官Clarky上场。
8 ^1 [$ T- f* |1 S% L* y9 ZClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
* v+ A; _% g# f! B1 S! Z1 Y7 ^* f+ kHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
( j; Z5 m- c6 M# ^. A+ N得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。: L' r. j8 X3 @6 G7 R/ e* a0 Q
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
' ?5 G( \# S6 t2 Q; Q% VHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.9 z, j6 d$ h: \% K: i4 \+ V$ n; a$ c
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& s0 o! ?; N: i9 {$ z, z$ _* c墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。7 b8 D) V3 o+ n+ x
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）5 d% D2 ~, ?. I0 i% g8 i, }3 N( C
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
; d1 [( p& e; x! O7 C0 m, FWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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% E* u4 ^* m. d1 u/ g. u3 J河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
* l% d% i/ D6 U' cHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）  s. K; _; C- ]' D7 |' j
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
8 p& s2 t. f* ?% oWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）7 V/ d! r1 M. L; F; U
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。' o9 U: I# l) X7 i
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）0 O9 _( D& f0 s$ A2 H1 u9 I
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。. f  V8 r" f: y  j, E% ^
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）- P- Y  D+ K% e
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
( C! H* w& r# R: m7 dLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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" `+ }0 Q# j2 }9 I接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
# i9 P  ~0 A8 i1 o9 c0 ~: `话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。7 `0 O+ t0 w; o" ?" C8 L2 t' J2 N) l
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
6 C# u4 f) G: Y5 IWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）1 A2 P: A5 X; D$ x2 Y& M" E! i
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
+ P% m$ U3 _8 a! s% uMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
" a$ Z+ f1 t' P3 L) k1 DWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
! v3 M% L8 `3 ?7 e; x! |8 M0 i5 PHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）) V; ]# g4 G- I, F- C' B2 N
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）6 e2 p0 f  ]+ s% {: \/ K; l8 i
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
5 a3 Z6 K4 r3 o8 @$ gWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
  X" s! o+ M- G) H# T; Y0 RMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
2 s& I4 c" z- ]) ]7 X5 A（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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) ~' V6 Y! r7 O0 E* ^: p总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……