《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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  g0 O. r. K# x* Y. Q+ q4 B' I8 ]4 O5 i影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。" l* i6 Z! N2 g0 q/ o3 `; @, b1 e* y
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）! y# r+ S$ f% c; G
Holmes: I just picked it up.
8 L; V$ |3 |- d/ t: Y. BWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
. p. R/ w  s4 J! BHolmes: Knew I forgot something.2 A5 M5 t1 y* ~$ D! E8 D
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
3 M" b4 k2 `4 r, J! \Holmes: You did.
% @8 e7 ^3 S" ]（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
" {6 U: @/ |3 L5 {2 ZHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.% K' R$ I* t1 Y. z- Z) Z
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。. `/ t6 B& N: o2 ~
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.8 k$ ?; Q7 V1 w9 ?# [
Holmes: Granted.
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# \, K$ |- b) k晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
3 p; }- o/ @! ]0 @Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）9 u9 a. F3 [$ Y% g. R; j
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。6 L* d4 d0 y% Z& Q; ?3 W
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
& T8 _2 S: m9 e) mWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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+ V  u9 s6 }; v0 o5 pBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
' M8 g  N) M1 F0 e（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）7 B# j! U4 Z/ k8 i1 u
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?9 p( j, A5 r& K) h  G9 B
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
8 ]3 F' |. Y' |+ G: X  |% M3 ZIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.# I: M' R- D; d1 A5 P5 {% M. E
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。8 }2 Q( N5 ]  M) m8 p
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
: Q: O  q3 s$ V* j% XWatson: Get that out of my face." y% x7 f/ _$ n$ H6 {# F
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.6 T5 ~/ D+ U' y
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
5 ]3 |. w5 R7 l. e( s! G路人警官Clarky上场。8 U& A. t6 F# p( u, X  y% e0 S+ ]
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.* S! V( @8 E4 \: b  {; l
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
8 _, I4 M' ]& z' O* i, N2 i得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。4 c7 h# i! _. e- ]' I
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
, {! g; Y7 C% v- c$ w  LHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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/ |) A* N1 q  K% n3 x墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。) U) x, H5 e+ k0 M2 B3 I% c) W
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
$ E$ ]# S, }) B  w- L" Z, X/ K: ]Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
5 _7 x7 T: j1 m3 y4 y8 ^Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）, N9 ~/ u; A& s
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。2 Z- D) z  b! ^# X/ }) w; h
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）: F# R  }1 v$ x% A/ D' C4 q
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
1 @! V; f. i1 h! k- vWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
. |9 q( L' w" ^1 \! m死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
0 p+ F$ y  z( ?0 o. t! w; uHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）3 C" M7 g% d. d8 k) B1 p1 D
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。* C% Y$ h& E! d
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）; w. J4 H( H% X# S
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。. f% h4 a6 C1 |" c3 i- L  v  R9 t, A
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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" Q% h- Q+ P! S# n! ]( ~3 ]接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。2 Y; n1 [% I, L9 _3 G6 S. N
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。. M5 ?8 z: ~; R$ _& u
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）0 k% q1 U  |# q( F9 ?* I
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）  F( d5 Y+ P1 S8 E+ {' ?
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）1 O& z  i# B# T! f: Z7 G
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
! f+ K9 S4 S, oWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
( d, O& ]# p& E, RHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
7 {0 s; V7 R2 @* K0 }/ p7 y$ sWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
' L$ t9 _# C5 g. w6 C& OHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）6 }" J* @& C+ s- P5 j( K( G
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）% v8 }. F$ i5 U/ `" _1 c- R3 E4 s' g
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
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8 R5 K9 K. o! v6 I- [总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……