《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。8 p7 k% D% J  W/ p' z
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）/ [# j$ q) W. \) K# s% k
Holmes: I just picked it up.7 V' b7 H  ]+ v0 W3 {( l
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）6 U: c( C8 Q" @' V, @, k
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
, U6 Z5 C/ o* \8 O& EWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
7 r& [8 Q* i" @; A$ ~Holmes: You did.  e+ c+ v/ R$ |
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）: e7 s# L, Y0 d; j: x( J
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
" |* C8 B0 g8 ^6 pWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
/ p$ `" r' M( |Holmes: Granted.
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" G" i$ ~9 l, J% J- K: Q晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
+ h" e# U" r2 h4 e( B7 q& v! JWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）. J$ A) M& i; A) {1 q
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。% I4 j6 l( t; y$ r1 ]. T% D! M% `
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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3 _9 r# V) |- [2 [9 xHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。# ]) d3 q2 t$ `+ P
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' u( ~$ ^( d6 O$ }, C$ t$ b" JBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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7 b; z* v# c, h  Y4 `Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
, `* T+ m8 v7 Z$ A: H1 QHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
3 h& S3 g" k3 ?  oIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.  U. n% L) G( s
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
. M' F# k- a3 ?. e- g8 cHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
9 {3 @) L3 ^. r# [7 bWatson: Get that out of my face.
6 g/ f0 d) N6 G; qHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
4 \* E8 e6 F; k$ y' zWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
) n  G% ]: \9 k; s0 j/ B路人警官Clarky上场。, x! B( N# b2 S0 W- Q+ Y
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
" p- m6 F7 D* A  }  ~" v- {* t7 r4 Q& [4 zHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
6 M$ m/ e! u" F4 o5 k+ h6 D得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
/ L$ ?* ]6 j& j3 _) Y0 A5 |Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?  p( o# P/ I/ {( \0 `% }3 ^# q
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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  f! @  ~: D  U5 O: Z% q% Y# H墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
2 r  C/ s) p5 `+ k6 t7 D8 m（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）( h" e5 i  a& F  e/ g2 d) |
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.# C" F2 C: ^- l5 @2 |5 W
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）& @0 b/ `" v: @4 R* d) X
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。$ G, i, N5 R& f; T; @
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）1 L& W0 ~4 N7 c1 `8 ~2 U( d
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
0 t+ M6 {: |$ iWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）! i: d; P' u& J2 z0 c
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。  e5 X5 x: w, U. A7 n2 F3 V5 F! v
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
6 l* N; r1 |3 |后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
9 j$ K# i7 E3 _1 l. HHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）3 @7 |! m; o7 v) H; u* p& \7 c
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。* m' Y* r+ q. C* Y& f) r- |
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
  i$ H$ J- v( f- k# p话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。* P7 H- f) o6 ]' D. O+ \( z9 U+ ~
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
9 c+ d* N6 c6 {2 N: ^Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）2 Y: u- B3 P3 G+ S
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）% F) ?9 {2 B/ L  @: J- [: `: ?) N
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
. t4 \8 f" _$ q5 W- eWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）1 @9 L4 q" x5 v) l  [. F) p3 v; e$ e
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
  V, a' R9 v  w4 [, hWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
$ l- }- N6 G* a* Q, rHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）8 v$ L) H$ x" u5 ^' @7 Y! e
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
7 ?' I2 p$ }: }) i' g7 ]1 _% Y$ lMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
* h4 W) l/ r7 d% i. w（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……