《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
% x! A8 Q# I4 q% ]) |, I***********
" n. I' f- J1 s# D! a1．
. A7 `& w3 C+ N! a1 o影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
( x9 o# Z/ P4 h: e8 h% ~1 F4 e3 gWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
# [5 k& g# R% o7 l; X- ^Holmes: I just picked it up./ I% i2 K6 W8 W7 M( A
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
! k! N  m4 `, j- L: ?8 x! s" u4 aHolmes: Knew I forgot something.; ~6 g% l0 N/ E" M4 w' ~( \
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）+ B0 ~; z# T8 ~2 I
Holmes: You did.% \  T/ U5 E& v
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）( }3 W0 J( \8 C8 Z
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all." u9 q. W+ ~  H  G
2．
4 z$ ?# W3 z' ^. w2 ?/ X5 u* V/ ~宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
# F- i8 J7 _+ ?* x1 N$ p" K0 t& `Watson: Permission to enter the armory.% x# m  Z, m5 X3 D1 u/ z
Holmes: Granted.
* g3 E* m1 Q& A3 W% N- o3.$ h, v% E2 p) e3 x& m8 {6 q: P9 z
晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。% z3 z5 l# N" ~$ E+ E3 G
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
' Z% z2 m1 x* A* I, B1 {4．" G/ e+ I0 h# O( i: ^
拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。; \- j3 q  m6 T; }
5．' H: \! B3 B7 Z7 ]# d' [2 k" `0 O
Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。( R  w4 @% }6 H) |- Q/ F3 X2 ^
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
0 {4 ^  @# U* u) ]: Y* g  c) \6．0 j* u% J* |0 S4 {2 t
Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
* r! o! Q, u. L. Q! W7．2 [8 @# s$ I  Q; P* U4 \
Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
! X7 K" \7 J2 X8．% `3 a; M2 p2 a& N$ j
Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
" S" A5 M$ r4 y# Y6 `$ Z1 o! I（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
. |6 t- h2 z/ n) KIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?$ [) |, t. c8 H9 [7 p6 i
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）: K6 e- n: d; J; a7 y3 g1 n5 {3 \
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.0 P* H: d9 u$ L% Z% U7 v
9．) r5 S* c2 L0 |" V& l* V
Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
% a' u  Q: w- m9 C; m, fHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）" q' v# z! o6 }/ f8 S/ {
Watson: Get that out of my face.# X, g+ T  a" ]& N$ T
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
( H6 W6 S; n* q' vWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
- R3 b8 T7 J9 S+ b+ d8 ?1 B路人警官Clarky上场。; k& p6 `" o, `3 k/ B* p3 U( o
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
& e$ I4 j. @+ u" NHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）! `  q. T$ ]7 E" v$ u- y% h4 O/ ^
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。7 ?8 ?# T' q+ z) a! e$ w
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
- {; ?2 X& y6 p3 X/ VHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.7 L& k6 I& |& ~) M' V+ o
10.
0 x- x) p+ I+ }2 s8 _" g5 E- D墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。, Q9 n' h- h7 y. i& i- o9 i4 w; E  F
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
8 O% J9 T4 ~3 u- ~; x& m5 D- bHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
8 _; j, E6 `% f  }Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
3 L- B# [0 p( B1 Z* Q5 _8 D) L) g11．+ Y$ d  `0 l' K. N% W) j8 c( \% @
河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。/ m8 p6 }" L+ |5 W2 \
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
7 h! w$ p: u9 {7 `; \Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…7 h! D+ {- g* r
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）: Q! u# {" h, {3 l/ _' b
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
% T8 y: K3 g: r3 v$ D9 dHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
2 M8 \# @$ p6 [; Q/ l) A后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。! u1 \" g: z: l# B% H" q, t
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）1 i& ^" m% d0 B" N
12．
+ B( H5 I" }& A4 A8 n& J4 v警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
4 \2 W' E4 n# U& iLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.6 ?# f1 D$ D7 }7 C: A  N$ v
13.6 P. R( C" E- d) d
接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
/ a; c; p0 v# u+ V话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。* ~, w& b# R1 J& y* r  `
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
* {$ Q% E% E& @Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）' [8 T- m" Z' L# W8 w& H- {
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）! |  r9 J0 }4 _- C+ t
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?5 ]: {& k& c8 _' n
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）7 i! b% }: e+ b* ^" c
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
! z8 J0 D8 Z8 |1 R% ?) qWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）1 ~# C( i# e5 I
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
0 a' s- v. O! D$ [. jWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
4 E1 |/ h$ Q1 S1 Y' m: c: PMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）' q  t/ b/ B: c8 j
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）. d8 [) v( W- Z) E# i+ F/ X; V+ C
***********: t- g4 _2 s/ i' m% }6 A, ]3 F
总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……