《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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+ B4 x' `  r+ p1 ~影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
1 ?1 Z$ y5 G0 p  c/ o; RWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）9 t6 s* r0 Q( J4 t
Holmes: I just picked it up.
! f$ i) P- D4 j+ w, X: S7 c: X8 ^Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）1 F! b" g3 c+ U. }
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.0 D% L. C9 G* C, }
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）: s: }$ R9 w. E6 c
Holmes: You did.
& T0 G+ |/ }, K0 z3 M（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）' N, B% O# O! Z
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。- q: L: n, }2 R; \5 ]$ H2 H
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.6 G$ F; ^1 P( Y" W, y
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
" L1 w# p) `; G/ E5 e- Q7 ZWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。. C- G( L* N+ x4 O' }- ?
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。1 M, G' `4 f8 w
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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' Q9 ]( t( G! m7 tHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。& C( U/ ~. l9 D! R- |9 b( P8 r
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# c: H9 j/ y' ]; C8 pBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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3 U; Q. B& I! K5 ^: A$ hIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。* {1 o8 t8 S" q# a9 r; W
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）+ e+ ?6 r# j4 T2 i. X( |% w
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
( a) W0 @  o$ ?: ~1 c8 W% YHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）" d. j" d1 \+ W9 l
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.5 ^# i; w1 D9 s" h
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2 G# b0 H) B/ nIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。# J/ I3 B7 h$ M
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）7 b7 J5 R# U+ F% ]$ V! w6 i
Watson: Get that out of my face.
% i7 W/ b# M9 B% aHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
5 G$ F& K& q' i) G( `) `2 f( Q! fWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.2 q; u: W' H- o
路人警官Clarky上场。. M3 r- M; N7 N$ y1 ^1 A
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
. q' S; s/ N$ L% S( c, MHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）  v( U8 R2 m" j
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。- A: d2 s+ I0 M6 m: d: r* v
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?; S9 f1 h) j. A  g
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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) b8 ?/ u4 p. ~0 A+ u) K' I9 s墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。" v- e1 q+ h) L4 E/ D
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
+ m3 B, i( S2 [! \Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
. k) w/ x% y% D% YWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）4 s$ a; n5 t( F9 W% }
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
6 n% A" Z( d0 Z; `Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
: g0 V) }  x  M! r; z2 @8 k$ m  DBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…! p$ b4 O; H. h" X: A, F
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）5 w4 t" T0 f' c! |. l& f  f8 n
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。  `0 A+ Q7 e0 q7 J  N# ]- E8 v5 H
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）6 K3 V: N* V# K" H+ t
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
! j1 Q3 r0 D0 |3 j0 ^  F. mHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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3 I2 ~; n) q  t警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
: q' _3 s+ E5 }Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.# H) c( n: g* h
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9 D6 W6 X+ K$ h, m: t接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
; C( a6 {* i0 Q话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
" N# O7 U) \/ Z7 _8 ?' l& f$ p# wHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
4 [# S4 w2 i+ e/ `" u  }4 d* W5 c* JWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）. C6 w" d/ z9 P% f* g5 P
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
4 [7 s" H" f2 d# V7 x0 E2 y  bMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?: @% G" o' M6 q0 z6 P8 r, ]
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
% j1 ]# q- G3 {Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
0 P( R; x  x0 eWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）( k" G* _6 \" g# H
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
& E; V6 s" f. A  S. x* b) }9 G* nWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
# N4 k4 T0 \+ H. g. }, X3 vMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）/ s; Z1 z: `" d" V2 L, V
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……