《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。: E+ ~) W9 a+ a7 b2 M
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
+ p7 ]0 y3 F/ s" w/ YWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）; O6 C6 F4 B6 |" {  e( N9 c- [1 w
Holmes: I just picked it up.! T9 {1 S+ I! F5 u
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
0 f+ m0 {7 O" z- vHolmes: Knew I forgot something.2 l0 n3 v6 i, b
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）3 i1 C, s+ h! A% E
Holmes: You did.7 b1 B% c' h5 l7 W
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）2 V0 j1 F4 m. b) _
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.; q9 s+ D. \5 W7 c
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。3 |7 W' p: H2 ~
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
. [8 a5 c: O; K# l* w/ bHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。$ N. U8 n+ G4 _+ g
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。0 G6 {5 U1 }1 p6 |+ ~9 Z* l
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。0 D5 ~2 U! k. K, I
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。2 ]8 M( k0 ?( q) _$ a: U
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2 r" X, W: u* i1 A" nBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。* E: Q7 z# u! j, ?! P
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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+ [& H, _" V8 ^4 E- C2 T" GIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?5 G$ d: [8 S  X
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）, e) O2 A2 k/ n* E, J7 m- {$ ^
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.: K$ G9 @, l/ o5 x" O
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! Z- K1 n7 O3 J. @* S6 \0 uIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
8 f- B0 B: B3 m- HHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）3 ]2 K: k: i1 M6 X* t) C+ L2 @
Watson: Get that out of my face.
! P$ N9 l- X7 G5 THolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
  w7 ^& c# L6 MWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.# w9 z1 l0 H( p1 K7 B
路人警官Clarky上场。! c8 Z) Z3 w- D, v) t$ @$ G, P
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once." [0 ~& c4 u7 [5 ^2 d% f& g
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
( P1 U$ S3 L) r6 N1 ]" n: P" a; \得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
2 d+ J8 I, N7 E% L$ q7 a4 {Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?# x" X" ~4 h0 A
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.  J& M  i! f  m# n7 r
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3 J. F: q, i  J# c墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。, G7 S7 A; f' `% o& v+ o# ^  p9 ?
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）/ F/ f* f2 \. {* J1 ^
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
% G" e6 ?7 j' F8 v4 uWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。/ l1 u( t% `) h* ~, H$ I& g, \# e
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）4 G8 z9 X# D2 z) j. |( |" b
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…: S# l! U- \& F! \; X
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
5 {7 P/ N% _" p8 b7 ^( _. {! T死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
3 v& g# F/ L* H. C# B# U; FHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
8 o, _+ t* N4 F后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
% h" \/ f4 v2 P" h* \, `) RHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）* ]0 i5 N) v/ O" e8 J* V$ [* B
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* `* o/ i$ q! h警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。/ U# W8 t' d# X
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。: }4 ^1 X# J! I* X0 `9 @( ]
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
# h  e7 n( }$ F* q) `; hHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
8 P' ?6 y$ @' M" M1 cWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）4 c# s0 W6 l& L7 o
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）) Z0 L$ h7 Y  P: G: X* G
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?5 b4 c+ y& }: r& H
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）& C+ T0 s9 i5 O* z
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）9 Z6 Y5 }* D! D( z
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）1 i1 c0 q4 U3 D; q; G4 M# p  \8 w
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）* ]/ a0 S$ K" `6 T4 f/ H7 N; L
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）, e9 {/ m+ B* _3 f* L
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）" k" j9 B2 L3 b8 R7 D+ W
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）' D* _3 H: A* C6 J
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8 [& f# ~+ M6 J5 H$ @) l总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……