《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。* o1 ]2 q$ n3 {" E) s" e% `. w2 |6 s. `
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# P) g, N; p* ~6 w影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
8 M) O4 D7 |' i- ^, S0 ~1 MWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
1 u; Y' J1 W% u) S( M  H( s$ XHolmes: I just picked it up.
0 [. B/ r" N* E+ {) a8 u9 AWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
- T2 m( @9 z$ rHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
- a8 [; k+ {5 T; o+ |: {" nWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
8 ~4 _! S" ?' k$ I7 pHolmes: You did./ X8 W0 J3 ~5 N
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
/ b. f9 Y1 m. z; ^Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
" ]7 h# s1 D- v: J6 X) QWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
" j4 O# t% H: C, c: O3 U2 B# lHolmes: Granted.% C" L4 G1 {, b
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
: v# X# u7 @3 d7 ?Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）) t1 H: ]) x4 r% d) @! U
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6 M1 q( s4 U6 f. i拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。$ k. z% m' T- X- r4 N" z
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。3 p% R  ?. X2 ]" E: H) S. k
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。; V5 S# `4 m& T  v4 e  E& l: k; \: n
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
% j0 t" \9 O) C% u4 z& q1 N: oIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?/ y' w2 N; X- d* n; t0 O
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）/ K& n2 w# T) t0 M; P/ H5 F4 c- x
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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7 r- T9 e* p  w# l1 [# b5 ?Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。* K: M- i) ^. p7 e+ K( D3 s' v
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）0 E, p7 F( M- |. A9 S' u
Watson: Get that out of my face.
* j' i% A2 X% dHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
3 W& `; {# `" W* e0 \1 h) V3 T* MWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
% ]: S& B1 \+ f+ g; O: O路人警官Clarky上场。9 {# _7 c0 D5 U7 l; T% D& @0 G
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
* s9 r/ D, o5 G) o. ~; \. Q: dHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
+ J  E; D5 g. e4 V+ _, K: p得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。  ?; d: f5 Y2 m. f
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?' R8 n5 E5 M# m9 a2 t5 m
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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: ~  D$ T. v7 c- K" E2 u墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
0 T# e& N1 N0 J) K$ P（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
9 V- d+ o4 {% i" m3 q" y0 _3 \Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.4 _: [# h# C3 G4 E
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。5 Q0 f. \, h2 F
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）) V, m" @( W3 v8 n$ ~# t" Q7 f8 s
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…9 i, \( Q! M8 n
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）/ l$ p4 s+ p7 k5 u5 P8 Q3 k
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。: N3 H: @8 Y* B& s' \
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）, Z) g4 p' R2 P0 W% B
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
5 p+ G3 j& I0 {3 s" cHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
/ `" E+ z6 N. N$ v3 s# {- LLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.) Q! p8 a% Q. F6 z1 b- ]
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" t1 S7 a5 K* y' ~接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。8 x7 C% r$ Y; j* y
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。7 }8 a7 g3 k1 f3 f1 J
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）, X3 w) e3 i1 z% D
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
6 p( w" Q5 z$ v: ]6 z3 W5 w: c; p4 _Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
; b; I/ M: G( ]0 a# ^! K/ FMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
/ t4 c& T* [' q- c( z: {: NWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）0 |. t# E! \% v$ F) y. T6 m) o, w
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）" a) C$ o8 s" O
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）# q- e# Y# j, P
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）" E0 O/ f: K5 E. j' S0 q' I. A
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）. L& C) [" y1 w0 O: B
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
8 R4 s4 e- i, r- A/ G5 F) j（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）1 K' o; N8 X+ C6 a  R
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" [+ }9 t" A( k* `3 I总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……