《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。! R; E( @; ]- L4 v5 \
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。; f5 \% X0 J: I1 r( N! Y
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）+ b+ s, }9 H% G5 ?7 U2 p4 E
Holmes: I just picked it up.& m7 `2 a4 {/ U! H. a% E1 R% v
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）9 M! f( Q/ a) j6 |
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.5 g' X, {& \/ N# O! u3 q. [
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
# ?  w( B9 v5 _9 \) w' M4 N3 `Holmes: You did.
: c2 M$ N* Z: Y& B4 ~（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
( j) m9 l4 B; D. X! q' S: x; _Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.2 T1 ]. K# U! ~# s
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& i, ?* U, m) \, v! [, Z. ~宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。1 @( n4 r, V5 }& h9 A- }
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
' g- ?: y$ h. k3 \) q9 W$ BHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
) @  n7 n) R! I- C; b) r6 t$ GWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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) J6 }/ I4 u# I1 v7 [8 FWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。4 G0 I4 x2 ^) [& F. @2 `# r% ^
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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" h- d: T" g/ t- `$ \Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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% f) N8 B- U, Z! gBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
$ T$ K4 a( s( w( P+ j4 l1 G（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）- f! w6 R  R$ @: z1 s
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?; Z# v6 |& M( m/ \0 A# T
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
* c& B- A& d  C( [Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
. O2 I% S) N3 X# V2 R3 E7 THolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）3 t, Y7 }) n% w6 @
Watson: Get that out of my face.1 p. [8 F2 R2 S- [* V# c" ^
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.8 p& {' Y; j( G
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.# o: C! ^, T+ s. v3 {
路人警官Clarky上场。
% `2 U/ m1 k$ P0 H8 p: FClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.2 Z0 P( F7 h* C3 B4 e/ }- ?' w
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
: |9 Y0 K5 Q5 z得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。2 W* L1 m% f; ]0 K: h# u
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?* I: h" D( g( u0 g
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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0 N+ n2 E3 ]( O  N) l墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
. {$ W( K6 @* h6 _0 K# T7 J& W6 [, r（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
5 S0 l* ?' ~2 ]4 YHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.  k2 _" S* k& y: ]* S$ G
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。9 o3 N- \$ q( x
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
! \9 F; ]- I  O3 g! S  v/ |Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
7 \% f9 d( ?5 D3 }+ m9 v/ EWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）2 P4 O+ D4 W. H1 ^3 ~. T
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
9 C( U, ~0 {5 U5 MHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
& x' Z6 F# K9 D后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。& I1 Q3 o% X, t! X5 \( W( s4 V
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）7 e: p/ w* \' V4 E+ v# L
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8 W8 t. ~- V4 ]; J警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
/ Z' I" W; y2 [) X1 S: m# j+ ]Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.5 b* b- h) @+ P) X
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
! ?1 D) a/ ^& J话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
( R* l9 r( Z8 R# a& n0 tHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
8 D; U8 Q: J% F) rWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
5 H5 T  J6 S/ L/ d( S! Q* sHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
4 e) l6 `) p3 f: ~  m0 \$ \6 cMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?: l: u) b8 j1 T
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）$ W6 O4 u) O$ [+ k6 K
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）: D" ~! I7 S, Z9 Q$ x
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）3 |7 A0 T& }; k+ z: L
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）( T5 F$ d6 G; n9 D/ W# L
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）2 S9 C2 F0 z# m
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）/ ^4 @& h3 N* R6 o% P7 d
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……