《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。: `$ ^8 d+ C  S! r
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
# e# T  o, w/ I  I' \* f: gHolmes: I just picked it up." I8 u. ~2 n/ R! X7 T
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
  e; h* z' G' K( hHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
& L6 u% h# ~. q4 `Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
# y, f8 M0 c. H) K1 ZHolmes: You did.
% U7 X5 V2 |- I0 b（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
$ F& A, h3 i$ ^) x5 a  g$ L/ a2 EHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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; B2 [& V) X' U  D! m) D宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
' }+ y5 ]& u+ Y  S' \" hWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
/ s$ r) @, U# _% H& PHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
9 N+ q- W9 I* Q: A% Z& H( uWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）  A( y8 }" M' h; g- E
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0 m4 E" ], x4 Q( M9 b' C8 A3 J拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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9 T# k% L- `- M. VWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
' b! \7 u& S( C# v6 H: T1 TWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）3 k$ P$ g1 z3 k/ g0 A- f" ]2 T: L1 n
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。  R5 z' ]8 e0 T( ^
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5 ]2 v* ^' P0 ~6 v( V8 c0 x0 hBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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/ l1 r, ]" Q+ S* p7 S* y& b, sIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。1 `# R& h& J, b4 _5 p
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
, U- U7 o1 N$ JIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?5 B  @0 |0 {% L8 c: k" Y
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
0 I  ?. f$ F6 f4 _, [Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
+ `0 h( N) j/ Z- r! s: V9 A* |Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
& W+ ~, S) {% k3 w4 G/ mWatson: Get that out of my face.
1 Z; D! k5 ]) L4 e. P( T) S  aHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
/ k; X( L3 ]* yWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face." X8 b( e( M! P* {( ?
路人警官Clarky上场。
% W; h2 [! k  A+ [( q; AClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
* C" j, Y% `& [, |) v! `: X+ dHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
" x9 Q. J8 U7 x- D* d: G5 z得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
. M4 H% O! T. q9 DWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
2 ^: p* q3 B- F0 }8 [Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.- P8 ?+ g  P4 q( |4 H/ P+ h
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/ W' o& s( R+ ~* c( G$ [% O墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。1 g* c) i! Z) [2 I5 _; g
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
  v4 y: ~8 I* X6 O4 KHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
5 Y$ j& o8 x. g2 ^Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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0 r! J$ H2 i+ M河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。9 C+ z% X  e7 n$ d: k7 n
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）  ~. D, J# B' }  V. B6 `
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
/ P; _  _' e5 L, D& `& z0 j" o  dWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
5 T  L3 R$ D/ a  A. M! y0 E! y死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
3 e1 D/ x' G' K& \  _( y" _Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）9 b1 t# J; e6 ?- L) v/ D
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
/ o! W* p5 H5 L: n$ WHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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# e( }# t+ n% _/ n! ?警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
* E/ G, s& G5 B1 k' D( N- j. uLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.+ w1 A/ X' D/ A! [) R" O. o
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0 y; w6 \1 C$ M2 i3 X接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
* M1 E2 `' m" ?$ t( \1 B% C话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。* y7 M  q' Q, T# c
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
9 m( v8 @  c" i! E) jWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）2 C  N7 O: z1 O9 L* n
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）2 S$ s. \7 k0 F$ [" I8 [
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?' p! H! s" b. Q' a; }
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
( L! W; l+ p% v" s* bHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）& R8 m- _- N+ I5 O7 I
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
+ ]9 ]1 s# ~& y8 B. j& l2 l9 CHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）# {3 j- B9 x3 \5 b. G
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
8 p# M7 {6 m9 A; x5 V- X0 i2 M+ S. U) oMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
; Y5 s6 h% c: g  `1 r+ Y, `（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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6 {: @- M/ I  O/ q, m9 d* J: {8 u总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……