《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
0 I4 J5 E9 I5 KWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
% T. k( h! o; lHolmes: I just picked it up.
" c- b( f% Z, LWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
# t& _# W/ i  h8 G1 x8 e- y  HHolmes: Knew I forgot something.+ }. o" o; H* X! R% _* M
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）5 R# e% m  Q1 p* f  u
Holmes: You did.+ S5 j2 A# q; \! ^
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）7 }+ n0 M9 r6 U9 {
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.) C; S) D  ]$ B3 M3 `8 |9 p
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
( D$ n% B1 {; ^6 }5 wWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
& _% e( s* A. y, V/ MHolmes: Granted.% }) Y0 f; \0 x4 B3 Z8 {0 D
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。8 X( Y5 L  M# R  d+ U
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）) l, R0 R- {) O; b; ]! v
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。/ J) [  G9 ?) q$ e- h
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）) ~+ V5 @4 p- X+ X/ R( \
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。* w" {5 x0 e8 J, G5 }& ~2 J+ @
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0 d6 D, p- b% HBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。* [! w$ q! Z: @' b
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
5 d8 N# W! l+ s) C# n7 s& FIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?# r% |5 P# k3 |0 v
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）( i- u/ o: m1 B  G- l& ]
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。3 a+ r, l: V( S( a' c4 \
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）# h8 @( h; I$ ^/ D
Watson: Get that out of my face.% [0 k  D! `6 u9 N3 P5 v1 q
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.& ^, l! K( \" F& Z0 [
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.) ~9 e; L9 _' t$ P( z) d. S) z
路人警官Clarky上场。
8 s" l& i, V, m! bClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
. W/ j; b1 z3 i- K3 oHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）3 M8 K6 _' M. y4 H
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。" Z* ]0 ~: E, N6 f
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
6 ^& M8 N+ D  `/ t& @Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.# ^- V) U* P1 j( t; ^/ F) t# Z
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! h# G2 T* S6 ]9 D墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。5 G- D2 |3 s- z4 n
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
. X* b$ C4 r1 U. ~Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.) E" g6 f6 b1 p, ?: }
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）' m! r; x2 H+ v7 T
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- o9 r- B& u+ r2 o) @河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。& z- D) z! T  y% K
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）' V  k9 L5 ~+ }" _
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…+ \2 [- }6 w2 L# k
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
7 z- q: ]2 k% @. O  U; m3 z) Y# [死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。3 R* w/ [8 s: g- f7 U1 O( a
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
7 S, A+ i# I2 q+ v后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。: p8 [+ r! z7 R( g
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）8 O) I5 n- B1 L- d
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* F% T% O1 X% Z* a警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。+ C( _% r. S# \7 i2 J6 y9 u
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.9 y; w5 b  D4 l
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。8 M! D: R2 z; @9 T# v* J( p
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
1 S8 K2 e  ]3 S. [& rHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
, X! Q/ \: e8 Z& Z) B4 uWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）8 C) C: L4 L! K$ p5 {3 q( B1 U% _* f
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
6 m+ N0 \+ A* i0 `Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?1 c& Q% m, X, ~7 n
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）, \1 D6 H/ j( X( ^& ~9 L# H
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）" G  w  I; [; S# X( H+ |( K# ~4 W
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
- X) `5 X; Q# SHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
. Y" E. m7 i5 @. K, X; m, SWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
7 C8 f4 o# m2 G3 w9 q+ iMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）. N7 b& B& u) x9 M
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）  T* K1 ^6 o5 x# {
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; ]+ l  G$ c  s& f+ ?$ @$ b总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……