《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。; D! G3 y+ h  ?  |/ E
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& F8 h$ \5 y' ~" O影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
, N7 i- A5 c8 B1 f, HWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）  K0 K. L5 U/ N0 j2 T
Holmes: I just picked it up." r5 G7 p+ ~! f6 r( K/ X
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）3 z4 w' z) I: F( L! O
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
! B7 h, M+ D  O3 YWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）" B" I8 D) e0 }, f( q  i9 f% C
Holmes: You did.
! f4 q, v$ w; U3 I% T（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
* z$ {( v0 H  b  E" M! R$ _# UHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.4 }0 _/ y+ F( M2 x9 f0 _! {, W
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。2 A; L$ ?% p1 J- H9 n' h
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.% F1 `. y& q9 D- }, r5 R& M2 {  k' N
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
! G2 X/ A: f. L" F- N- S% |, YWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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" o, ?; b1 q; o2 J; R1 d" g) p: d拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。: d# P4 l9 F" ]& {2 X* o% o
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。8 f! Z7 o" t8 U* [: c' z
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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( V/ m; m% f( P" U; S+ Z: OIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
( W( x  G# z% [& j（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）  {7 E4 ~8 W8 I+ N+ O) n
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?, J, E- _" N9 |: H: I- k1 w
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
3 ^- D# ?  `. q) ^Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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0 P  a6 D* c* L3 U$ q- FIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。7 p9 [! {# q  b4 @
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）+ _- E- d' |( e
Watson: Get that out of my face.
; [3 u" h4 r# z" l- ?Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
  ~% q  @2 ~( BWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.# H8 R% \3 }8 \) u# [) u
路人警官Clarky上场。
3 t6 {$ ]3 ?! E- v6 g4 z- yClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
; C; K1 u; Z, i$ z- i0 FHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
, {* c* h: D4 H- N5 c$ a6 O" r7 q( _得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。" L% K1 T' b* @2 S
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
" a! j& V0 A$ y( I' gHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.2 o8 d) t+ G$ x- T9 Z
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。- y7 A+ u  L- }0 o
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
  ~# {7 y/ C" o% V5 t) `3 WHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.. C& b/ J2 |- p4 p$ S7 x
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）) ?% e# i# g; y, q( |
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。: E0 c6 i& u* i2 w
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）: S( ]: F! a9 N# Z+ H2 s* P% W% `/ K" R
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…  ?) T/ A" |; {/ B5 z( }, j$ F8 i/ V
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
7 M4 Y9 K1 Y# {! Y/ v死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
/ L. S, f) J# b4 U5 `' cHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）6 d& N2 C& T7 Z2 y: T
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
4 q/ \4 C- X# P4 l3 }! W( y( JHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）4 w! V+ L" C4 U& w  K- J" g
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% ~& B' Y, f4 r警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
4 W. u4 U3 Y0 {& ?# `Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.8 z2 |7 y6 \; p( N- B
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
1 X/ q1 t8 j9 f2 R5 v" }& Y, Z3 r话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。' L; q$ d/ @1 }( Q
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
- H* _' R: S2 ?0 _8 V! {Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
" V1 U1 s  y- \) R; S) z* mHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）( L# ~- `9 k& y  ^* q4 |; z& C
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?5 a# D8 I& t5 }# |/ f! r
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）: c7 e: z3 Z' G
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）) r1 h  n/ l$ s0 x; {# a- J$ m
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
: U! g/ T; h1 `% H- ~Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）& n9 A- i1 M% U" g4 `7 e* ~' ~: z
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
' x1 U$ w  I0 x1 s; i$ PMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
. y, A9 W, Z" k' U. s  N& h（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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. l! a  K9 X) y9 E4 N  H- }总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……