《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
: P0 s8 m" F  C8 v9 m8 k2 v$ rWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）/ A  a% }; |2 j8 F. V/ p
Holmes: I just picked it up.! `0 z+ f0 s0 t% {  M/ {* S
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
* a3 X/ c" x1 u# Y6 h( vHolmes: Knew I forgot something.* t* a7 d' U( c9 l+ R& L
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）8 O2 o4 R. u3 L' C& k9 a  O
Holmes: You did.9 t4 p# k: y$ V* x9 U0 p
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）4 T% o- m7 l6 O& C' S, ]5 u
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.8 V- D- o! F) O( d2 `
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3 T& g: d5 W: `0 `* b! J宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。* j7 J) }) C' ?) D! L8 m! R
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.- l3 i0 z( D$ K" V' \
Holmes: Granted./ i* o/ S. }7 p
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
7 `5 I  e$ q8 Y8 L) h+ \! lWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）7 x1 X" C3 W: ~; T% H0 @1 p
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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, K  A. n) ?$ |% `  MWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
  O% K4 Q7 c3 `$ D& A% ^* M& ?: ]Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。. v. E: d- ^% r3 ]: l
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）0 U) Z( [$ l1 A' ^4 m. K
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?% u/ i$ H3 w1 y
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
  \( C, g" h* H% x* D1 M9 oIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。0 A* o' S, H2 L; a) d. O
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
, h0 l* f1 i3 n; m2 @Watson: Get that out of my face.  n; u) g) ?  U! y0 Z( g' J
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
) W4 w- q, O: V0 J* x" ^Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.& |4 X8 g1 c6 E8 H
路人警官Clarky上场。  @/ m. l0 P3 [
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
8 g$ E- t* z$ T( V/ sHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）& }! ^4 ]- Y( P( v
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。% H$ w% d  i- F* L' V
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
; l; t. D1 k. u6 F% N5 fHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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) K  `) W- B% D8 r( q墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
  X3 ^3 M: N5 k6 L/ TWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。/ K' ?- B, ^" L% {1 ~
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）+ v& E8 R, H& ~5 q3 _7 Q4 n# t' k
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
7 z7 \+ n" p" |* t/ q3 [+ DWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
' s$ y' f* l2 L, ^; \死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。% f% V' @/ V, l# b& w6 X; j7 t
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）* G7 C2 [$ ~: T, H4 ]  g: ?
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
$ W  ~4 [- A5 t  x" G: B: ~Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。5 J3 F0 r+ ^/ L+ d
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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$ V( p3 V; z5 G3 j接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。$ k+ v' |0 k- m' K0 z+ U
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。( R2 o; c9 h5 F7 x8 H. G2 Q$ r
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）* V3 {, q: ]2 B& _; N! ]
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）  h4 s2 g6 W7 `3 C9 g
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）5 r, J1 x8 |& v7 R" l
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
) i& i6 E6 ?5 Q4 K# r* }Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
6 K2 E& _* H7 F/ D; yHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）, n: c& k) G, O( D! I/ r
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）: e' m3 `1 N# p& @
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）/ u% ]$ b+ }7 T, G1 G
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）$ a# l; u4 i; i; e  L5 G
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）; I/ _/ |& `- p; a7 x
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）" b1 m$ Z9 K5 ?0 S: ?- d
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……