《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
8 L; m- j2 t  [& C! ]Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）% z* }% A% G& h: k/ A& c; t2 x7 c
Holmes: I just picked it up.% V5 Q) v* l# d1 N; s* @" e2 T
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）+ p$ X& d% O, o+ M- t( e, A. n) ]
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
* H* l% Q" R2 L( t' X! P3 zWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
, A9 N/ z7 X& zHolmes: You did.( R6 A. V! T9 n/ S. ?# w
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）" Z! F! Y1 _6 ?! Q9 v( u, x
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.; }# \1 _+ U) ~1 e' Y
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+ R0 ]( ~- C) j- ]6 U宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。2 _  r6 V! W* O7 J  {1 y( \  |7 s4 n
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.2 p- ^$ X7 v0 H3 ^
Holmes: Granted.
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; f8 z9 E/ S) t; c' H6 b; y晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。. M5 U) Y1 B% E( D
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。+ [, \0 k8 g+ V! g3 ?( N
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1 _: e8 h! f% Y3 w  X) S, T  HWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
; L$ q6 T" J! N8 }7 p3 jWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）7 N% N. X4 j* c: q2 ~& v
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# q. M5 ]# g1 j8 Y) t, `3 FHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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! P9 `' Y$ d- M& B$ H" l5 JIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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- n! n& ^( S* `/ r8 mIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?# X& }+ S, o4 |0 b/ ]  G% }$ c( _$ `+ t
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）% G1 {7 X  q1 ~! [
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.7 m) t2 y3 G* {( V
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。* M. e7 c( [5 M9 u0 \, M1 j
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
$ w: W* e/ Q; Z# TWatson: Get that out of my face.
6 t) w( d# w- e" h1 uHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
" ~$ E  K, }0 |# M8 Y% _Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
+ d% ?* Q+ ]* U' b路人警官Clarky上场。5 S  F; c" h! t" s
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.! ^; A  [' p) F! d9 t, G
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
1 v' b* N( n% m6 H得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
7 g5 f& n& c2 o# ^Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
" t" Y' V  y5 i: B0 y+ |Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.6 S8 L3 _* S4 l' w+ n# D8 t% a% S
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) i( k5 p4 y" S' f4 z8 k3 P1 x墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。- ^+ i: f. N' Z' h
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
1 F# J) o; B4 {5 N3 O1 q8 `Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
( @6 M% k- h) }1 V2 rWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）6 f: p( [8 R% b/ ?. j/ t
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8 Z8 B1 x6 M9 [河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。7 [7 z1 }/ I, u9 M# T
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
) y( l7 c" H9 X" j) r  ZBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…# v! @. O: H) W3 I8 O% t. G5 [9 l
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）9 _2 q& r4 K- `( z9 k2 b
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
4 N8 s1 ~. c( P' SHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）- p/ K' p- D5 R# n3 K& H; s
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
1 q% O& N/ V4 K+ XHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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0 h. o* r5 Y" g3 a; `警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。7 e1 l0 d0 t6 a
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
( Z7 L- Y/ h) c# c) G: \" G  A0 ]话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
7 g% {1 i" |, U5 |& W: U+ w! Q5 RHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
7 _7 Z6 }( S. B- {Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
* h3 X, N" X* k  C+ U. |4 v. J" |Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
6 _* n0 _" @' _, k& P8 mMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
" n1 n+ _; k$ K" H% q  p( GWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）; o5 z2 D( t3 _7 W; ]
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）8 Y2 b4 O' O6 c0 A' Z: D) h
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）/ o, Y% z2 p( o' g$ D+ q+ u
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
9 L5 b9 Y! x- B( M% x/ v5 ?Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）; ]# P3 Y, C5 H. @
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）/ f* |+ [; d/ ~3 i) |7 g
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……