《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
4 G8 `( B$ a& b  X***********
0 [+ A8 y" i. L7 f( S1．1 i" _2 R1 S. d3 n  b& Z
影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
$ q3 R! p2 x( t0 @, _  tWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
. }6 ~9 }7 Q8 rHolmes: I just picked it up." P: S3 ?% J% L5 }2 l7 ]; m# h
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）. Y  o8 V# S$ h! y( o
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.' ]' h. E6 m" @" v8 k* z
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
7 j" j6 g" h6 ~8 q' mHolmes: You did.! k, L" k8 u& N% h
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）* U0 q6 W3 Q5 b7 N( x. Y. y
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.! ~; M0 H+ E8 Z4 L
2．
4 C( t9 H4 }# ~0 J宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
/ H3 w( n6 w; x5 T& k- {# a: ]Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
& U% E: w- @9 F% w3 THolmes: Granted.8 s5 Y" E& V1 y2 D/ i8 B
3.# G$ |4 _2 ]8 ^- `  c* K
晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。- Q7 X: V. {! g* G- k9 @6 M
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）2 p6 \% `. Q7 [9 _* h
4．
, z4 k; I* Y! q' L& G* E2 J拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
: d. e; U- x7 U% i/ ]" U9 P  H5．
4 H+ ]) t& j$ t5 w% }0 B0 P  ]9 ~Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。( \& i! ^8 |3 T' _) `( N8 l
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）, T. J, @# H+ \% [. m& W* E
6．
3 F' t/ n9 P& F  ]/ b2 \- HHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
: G0 G7 X9 p' j, w- }5 j( J. w% A, o* g7．0 {9 l' Z7 l6 W4 [7 p& q, V3 X
Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
5 K1 K$ ]% C0 W8．) S2 J) ?# l( K
Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
6 s% n4 ]5 a2 U# }8 @$ Y& k$ j* `（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）' M( h, k0 }" ]0 a0 @
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
8 B6 z5 G5 ?& l% p6 Q* _+ _% UHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）9 @" R( ?( q9 R3 V$ Q( h( h5 L
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
2 S5 O9 y' O$ I1 J9．* y( M1 P" S, p! Q: ^" A2 ?! U' S
Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。( j* ~$ {  |/ R. D
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）, {  R3 G- `/ C4 b! J( _2 W
Watson: Get that out of my face.+ J: K# i& F* E
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.# {& [* Y+ b" O% e
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.7 q4 z" n: a6 B' N! \6 v1 i9 b
路人警官Clarky上场。7 ^: b& K; s1 V
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
7 s- G2 G# g7 c, ]Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）+ R4 m1 V; t8 l4 ^, w2 Y& t
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。! N7 I( v+ O" ^8 t
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
$ y6 w' r0 A; h  L- i2 I# nHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
+ A$ g$ l- J2 `6 b10.3 E. j- {* {8 F/ z
墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。" k8 t2 m. s2 `: K* \7 h; y
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
, k8 q, ^! w: A' K; A2 t* ~$ H* S" NHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.' X( m7 L9 C. z4 [# ]+ _
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）- ?, ~# }8 n, q
11．
' b5 V* _7 O8 r- u河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
- Q" I  N" ?6 pHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
/ Q( U% R% z- X/ Y! xBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…; A" |8 J  l/ F; i$ d6 ^3 t2 h3 w
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）: q& b, ?- V" W! m8 m4 H5 N' ~
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
: b$ x6 M8 K: o4 f4 A5 c, k" r1 L. q% [Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）) `# R+ A5 ]) E7 ^! A3 k- f1 ?
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
* o$ o2 r% o, c+ l2 ~Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
% w# x: g! \/ L: C3 H12．
: V" L9 R/ F% W1 `( J6 \# {警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。  D# Y* \1 l. v" f0 A
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.% F- Z8 o5 n  X4 }( w
13.
% m- N# q/ Y7 h% h. x! _3 L7 j接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。" I; V1 A6 i4 D
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。8 F  W  `0 ^& T! }3 T
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
4 k: a( C# v5 f* mWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）1 {/ r9 ]; k$ Q/ V& S
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
! @" l" t3 m1 S9 P7 A% `Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
  P. }9 b/ }: F( GWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
$ j8 V" p6 P' ~+ \6 s1 dHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
6 N# g6 A8 |$ t5 IWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）  S5 W# ^! M' R) o+ L
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
+ L# i# r7 }, L5 o0 _: AWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）4 a& b. s3 k+ `: h$ l; N, g6 p
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）4 c! O% I, @. x8 T  ^  D6 @
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）/ U0 ]) U* T, o
************ _5 d% M) D! s# w
总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……