《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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9 F8 l8 X. j7 o& F$ R影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
$ t1 B" _0 F& s5 p5 M% ^; FWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
, _9 c3 l0 j/ GHolmes: I just picked it up.
6 e% I% o/ @) n7 AWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）, W$ w  i' ?3 u  f/ V
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.8 q, [+ R8 _* c& \! ]
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）% J; D- h0 A! F% C, `4 T
Holmes: You did.
; V7 U8 ]  r7 s（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）2 ?6 t  @- c* s$ X' Y3 ~  C! l! d
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.. g/ n5 C' K& U( v. ~
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
4 ], @  F8 [1 iWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
. Y" S  n8 z$ _0 H# kHolmes: Granted.
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3 F  m$ E5 Q7 `8 N晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
% Z" l2 E! H1 j- |" s7 MWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）$ }" h  {6 N( n+ N, r& m3 Y
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- N; v5 r; C: E$ ~0 i) P4 {拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
7 A' t4 o; T! b/ t5 UWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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: M. ]$ i" S- m" j% M. _Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。7 n2 M# Z, T+ j5 ]1 J
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。' @9 V0 P2 g4 U5 x% N* L
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）4 b1 ^+ _; q2 d9 m
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
6 k3 Q7 N" }) B- [  l6 G& i4 @Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）7 d; V" W  O8 S( @" j0 h5 z6 b; ~4 |  W
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.$ m& [* C- \: }' L
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。2 i- R  ]4 W% H6 r) z) o
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
; j+ f$ \5 B$ A1 a1 KWatson: Get that out of my face.. S- j5 H0 X6 b" F
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
& `- `) r9 U; a& {, q7 d* i. J8 [Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.8 a3 _8 n% H- x2 A: Z* J
路人警官Clarky上场。5 c% x& Q, u" a
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.) t! |( _- F& E1 x( n1 B9 z' K
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）4 a2 |+ G# @+ E3 L) k
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。) v! }0 S! H- {3 ^5 l! i9 ^( X* @
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?! _8 a; i0 Z2 M( Q/ t9 J1 }! Y
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。% r% m$ K9 L( f/ V
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
! }$ O0 l& I( q% P- XHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.8 X+ s2 Y( _  s0 t
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）  R5 d; s9 L' x7 u0 v
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4 Q9 G( M* d, ?河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。! Y- O% a) K7 e& z+ h: s
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
# j; z- S6 s( d4 o% s; B8 JBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…- N( a/ W* Y- k) o
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
, R. y! G! P/ K1 J死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。2 k, ^$ Y+ A& t/ O) V0 E: H
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
; \9 q! w( S  [( S后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。* @, U& c9 @& J
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。8 z/ }( M) C" K5 C/ g1 E* |9 o
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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7 h( S( ]. F! Z3 B. M0 Z+ @( j/ H接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
1 t5 m! ^9 c. s7 L# M话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
$ m9 [! X0 o' x. f$ R5 g4 h, ZHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）. t5 O2 X+ s( i6 F  V
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
' c8 Z* k$ o& D) F3 PHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）0 B7 w1 }. G4 Q" x1 \; F
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?/ M+ N8 m3 m3 j. a; b" {5 m1 }
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）  V* d/ j+ t# W9 F4 q0 ~1 U
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）0 a# [# m8 y6 {% m5 y4 g$ J$ S/ b
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
  R  l* z6 }3 U$ \) eHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）" v# i8 g7 ^) z5 J' u9 @
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
1 {6 R, `  ^- n; m( I8 H, ^+ MMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）8 m4 l/ ~' E; A: E$ w; r, H
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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; I! D9 n; Y2 S7 s; o1 f总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……