《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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2 r: E1 f# F* _  \$ a影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。- S& L) o- j$ H0 T# J. H4 Y* \
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）, y1 y; b- ]% L- U9 \5 P$ g; f
Holmes: I just picked it up.
2 l/ S6 }) d! b2 ]- gWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
% Y( V/ b/ \4 xHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
; n& h& e, B2 r- [' K5 xWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
( f9 F( \' t  d* U) z! P* n- z( N/ p: iHolmes: You did.# W0 C* X3 t; Z% O, x) S1 c; I
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）: ]. V7 L7 Q4 [; K* L4 H; S; h
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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3 I* n4 o  ^( l宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
( R2 ^: o" C1 V% h  g) ~" @Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
6 L3 X/ f0 f) |8 o5 |Holmes: Granted.
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0 M* w) r0 I! z; J" }晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
: c# W# |( c$ b# v3 X4 x% lWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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* K+ y0 G3 d3 b- }  j7 {8 d% v拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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' g+ R0 K* [1 D0 m" k& |Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。5 u5 R: L$ J- c; W+ Q/ u
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。8 a. a4 K: y, V+ B
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! k# o$ |3 U; |Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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) p& E. x  ~' b/ ]+ }/ M. IIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。9 T$ q7 k4 }4 e
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
' x  e  K9 `, F: T6 l5 ], @Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
, L  U9 ]. o- `Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）+ T. H) a0 `+ h) U
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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2 e0 E5 J  _8 {9 |" Q; bIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
8 Z% k: o, T! h3 }/ p& M+ ~Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
5 l/ F# q% {3 N5 vWatson: Get that out of my face., r( H6 n9 n' |3 w: B
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.- Y' @: @& L& Z7 c) F& W/ K
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.) i, j) O. Y7 Q, P) }* {
路人警官Clarky上场。
7 [, k- v  s, `% \* X: d' EClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
2 F/ g- l, k# c2 E, eHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
5 ]% |- q- C# p" V7 f* T+ w得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
! s$ `' i7 v7 H+ F5 @& JWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?/ F7 E% k' L' P
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.0 X# e* b  ~, D1 t1 k  i, E# h
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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! z& r+ `" s) w4 o7 ]2 Z- E# uHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
7 p0 Q1 e. \* ?  h7 s1 e% J: r1 CWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）: b3 C3 R* b& w2 f. @8 |
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. h5 @8 f7 t9 z( D河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
4 U! X1 ?$ c9 s! GHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
+ l4 D& m  Q. j+ dBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…: K' d% U8 u8 a1 ~! d9 U2 e
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）4 f# f+ X& }8 I4 X1 m
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。4 e) `( Y/ J! a  ?
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）6 v1 v2 a' H+ ?7 }, l
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
7 L3 v* Q& q+ D4 @% }Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。7 [8 V  l& Y+ W7 ]" W
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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1 _4 G) Y1 ~/ P+ S0 [' [3 a* `接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
& R$ H% n2 |6 n/ h9 l5 k6 [7 I8 `话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
0 W0 ?' c9 O2 E3 L, F5 R$ f; wHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
% e) i4 ^4 D6 i) bWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）& L$ z9 h" c) P- y
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
7 \8 G: N* F/ z* C8 z# G' JMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?6 m, h6 ~9 x  {* c- F" ~
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
7 t* P* t% R3 m9 c, j7 O( nHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
4 n" `/ d% J3 @% _9 U: ~  dWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）; K6 C, R5 p) j5 W% ^. V4 l' o
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
! K+ \9 j% F( B4 {4 eWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
7 }7 s- |) c+ b" x6 TMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）/ h  E+ C' r: P: k. s
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）/ [" W  X% V2 A
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……