《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
) X9 g  P5 ^& K3 bWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
, @; J3 L- l% o$ M. a, A5 e& N3 qHolmes: I just picked it up.
- S4 K& T. P% O2 t* aWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）4 J) Q$ J; r  [+ C$ F
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.0 O' d3 |+ n7 R' O$ C
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
3 N6 T! K. E5 U+ [# \1 |6 ?Holmes: You did.
. u$ e2 L* M& Z) d7 W7 \( @（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
+ h" @: r* v' A7 z" r+ C% b( fHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.$ t5 F! l: m$ p4 s- j
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
# p6 m; b, g  _4 C( gWatson: Permission to enter the armory.4 o! w( n7 P* Q) p2 B- L
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。9 `& J& j( T0 U1 n9 T* d3 z5 R
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。" i- v" N& r8 A- X* j; s
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" Q* Q; z) C9 d' zWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
& N5 r; o/ y9 w, t8 ~' bWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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/ @+ _6 A# O5 M' v4 `1 J. X1 dIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?$ I' @! |9 T4 A
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）* `. {& ]1 ?" B0 ^9 l
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
0 P3 q' j7 G) i5 g2 T! KHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）3 H& _& O% t! y# g7 E( @- C# t
Watson: Get that out of my face.
! K  t/ M. ~. IHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
0 R7 B( Z: m# T# _; XWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
9 E) V# p7 O. E) B  j& r4 {路人警官Clarky上场。
9 l: c2 _1 I1 B, h4 ]. l# B# x; EClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
% Q) S! [4 m! u* X# e8 Z8 X; mHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）; g# V  k3 E/ w
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。8 Q0 b# I! c3 a9 B; z
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
  E" h, X4 _) _& n4 YHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.$ ?" g( v) Q) q" M" ^1 ?# x
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" M# N& \7 w, i+ \2 H% G+ C7 g# @墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
4 e3 n1 Q8 T: L# v( \: H( `* I! v（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
# |+ k/ S8 e  m9 {9 gHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
6 ?+ j1 I8 S2 k( EWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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" F( s# e" _/ ^4 M* k# R. [' x河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
0 ]! r: F0 P  @Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）% y0 d! D. ?) e. U& z( N7 g4 a7 g
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
/ S9 M1 ~' d/ V/ z3 P+ eWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）( x' D6 }! c7 n5 {  [
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
& e/ l) B* T6 m6 N) N) k' W" LHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
- ?# H' Y! G* z后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
7 @% _$ ^! Q7 n+ c$ N: o4 tHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。! G' @" F9 X) A  `1 Y
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing." q$ c9 E$ n4 t% A: {, b- @& m
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% R; U+ d. D/ P1 G接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。0 `& K, W6 Q/ {/ D7 G  `$ `3 @3 C7 A
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。6 B+ D/ w. q; S+ B  O
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
- [4 l1 _, A: _5 I* \/ E0 kWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）* H" \5 K! @4 P9 z2 I9 ?
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）- n& i+ ?9 }  l; S, M$ |( E; X
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?' V$ \. }, R% s: N4 W) f
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）+ P0 A5 Z, x* v" Q+ o
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）( b2 y$ {5 m% s. d6 A. w4 O
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）" u0 e7 N7 w" ?( a. z
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
# s; Q4 e0 D3 T5 K( jWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
# |9 T! E! R& f' |3 Q1 VMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
3 w- N. A8 X7 r- B( }" K（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……