《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。+ n4 f( D6 h( e% a& n5 c2 \4 I
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。" R. b) Y( Z1 ^2 W4 W2 E" \
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
( X% {6 ]6 z5 \( Q4 S6 m7 w, P; J( O5 VHolmes: I just picked it up.
+ a8 ^! l# G$ t/ A9 VWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）7 f' w, \; I1 M! c( I: g
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
  ~1 J1 a3 {) V# Q9 x7 qWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）* A9 j8 l* j6 ^
Holmes: You did.9 b" W5 [9 o% i3 D  y* F
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）5 @" A; l+ V& J; z
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.0 H( _8 K# N1 I7 E( w
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; }0 b4 j4 U6 D宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。! k9 c" e+ {2 m
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
  ]- |0 s: l2 g* N4 o: B0 ^% DHolmes: Granted.2 s5 Z; @) y2 A# X2 h  [, i
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5 H. L8 {2 T3 `- _4 F; N晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
7 A8 q* u5 o! Y+ U) NWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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$ K1 e. {, E. O! W: N  r! P6 ?! V拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。9 i& H: _8 h, V- ]1 V' ]
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）$ d. Y. F/ ^4 A) P  K
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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! n: X' d3 }2 Y. FBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。5 v: w  o  E: c# T- q( A1 s2 w2 G
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! T% N4 y  q. @Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。0 R  D8 z* e( {9 T8 Z9 `5 \5 ~, X
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
- Q* u/ n% ?, l) B% m! t0 V+ GIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
" I2 F4 {& Q2 i3 x2 I4 yHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
: C( q6 Z8 O2 D8 B& X& p3 @  S8 LIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。  f% F  m+ h- r! L
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
  W' q6 Y" W* r" `1 B. _Watson: Get that out of my face.
( V' e; j& R+ K  I5 Y; I9 x' f2 ^Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.: s4 g2 m/ b- ~: c6 D
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
; m9 J9 q) q0 H* x路人警官Clarky上场。* }6 v( r- p- l% ?; H# m8 t
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.7 q  ]! t* v. H0 V
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
, e/ t5 B# W$ j4 j# h* y0 R% h得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
8 `. o# O2 O; Z+ ~! h5 T" PWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?4 ^/ c( i+ Y. `6 l' k
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
! |! W2 \9 H' Q' g+ T& Y0 \4 Q（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
  W, v7 U% q9 n5 v6 X5 PHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
; O" L8 u* `8 L8 x5 L; M3 I1 c8 BWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）1 I$ k2 F5 i( z# z% t' Y9 M
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。  d" D& B* m! |* C* P" x  x
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）' g& K& K% L* j' n! I) C: j
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…3 n" V9 [6 n( [
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）, O% v! V+ S4 d4 n$ k& U" W5 m
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。. e* T; X" U( l% x) c
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
) R% F8 m6 Q/ K' ]. I% h3 {后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
/ i0 S4 l3 F( [! IHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）4 @3 }2 Y0 {: X9 F( P) x+ F
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
+ v4 ]5 v! @6 rLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.3 N) W) R2 ?, N: C
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。( x$ I/ K+ o  H/ z7 Y: L5 i
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。# y6 D/ J/ }  d( x8 P( P
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）& {8 n5 C+ D; h  o8 u
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
) d6 t; N5 o5 G! F# g( k; d9 yHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）% A! u5 Z5 t2 c
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
- S, M3 |7 W$ f; K4 s# }, lWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）. i0 E/ p7 S  T
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
# O: o; \( p- i4 p; h2 O, M' l. `) f% aWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）1 T+ X+ w2 o% H7 j/ z9 {0 r
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）  W% B4 L6 Z7 A/ v3 Z
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）/ C- K- V" [$ t) F
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
* \% C! R6 I! y. f3 q（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）2 M  P- p8 _3 ]( y
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……