《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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" W) `0 v+ _* Q& H5 j# a8 x3 {影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
+ x0 L0 j4 n( G7 X7 T' YWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
+ {+ S  {3 a( T) Y" i: dHolmes: I just picked it up.
4 M3 t7 I8 K; t+ `Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）! ?: T* F% ?( l
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.. ^, ]4 {% Q* }9 ^5 u6 y8 d
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）' `+ N; d& ~2 S; ]) U$ \
Holmes: You did.# B4 d' G, D' t: M+ t6 I
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
! W% _! r. z5 o6 sHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。: S, z' f, @& v# T& p, d) [% H
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.; @3 I, I  r3 K) }) A9 T# Z
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。1 W9 ]2 E. Q% \( g  Y% o
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）( t& Y$ }  e5 }' u6 Y
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  o' W% z( S( g: U拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。% F' Z* n; D. L& P4 [, n
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8 Q: z# N7 f6 `5 zWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。+ K: Y) b! K' Y; g7 u" s5 q. j
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）: q; @" P, m. g0 Q
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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- ?9 o% _$ j% M$ K9 O/ \% f9 VBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。  }3 M2 V0 e9 S
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。% l+ K2 v  }/ T; w( r% S( t
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）1 E8 R3 L' ~. O! h/ ]
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?# Y6 a6 Q5 O; S6 C
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
: {$ @& y( L8 s8 WIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.# q  Q& V+ t2 O
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。2 b; Q: i' @; ?% t
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
  o5 G; ^( K6 V4 L$ I9 g) Z% OWatson: Get that out of my face.2 l2 K% C4 _" P; D' e, ]( I
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
! \4 O5 a! l9 W; ?# Z' b) ]. z) aWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
4 d! u+ I# q5 H& l8 s4 _路人警官Clarky上场。/ y, m* b& h+ w/ H  M3 }
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
1 p0 J% O) r; ]: o& fHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
7 u# V/ r) S% ?+ d得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
. b" E) U1 }2 y; DWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
; p5 t  R% I0 e* ^' q1 BHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.! o- T" Z2 ]1 |. b, i7 e; ]
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7 s/ y: Y, N4 d3 ~墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
, e6 U! K: D1 ~6 V9 g$ j, r  e5 o- s, ~; j（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）( D: `. H' x( R3 n& H; w
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
5 x4 x2 P$ S/ x) o6 z5 xWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）# H3 e) A2 n7 V; ^' D2 U; h3 t( Z( U4 ?
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3 \/ X2 `3 p4 d1 N河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。) m" H% n' o/ U& ]# ~* i' j
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
" x. H) Y' ^$ w' BBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…- e& m& d) O# x$ ^" _' V' f" G
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
8 L& w, `% x0 S, x/ h" r死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
) Y& K; T/ J' y1 |8 YHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
  |) M. D. u5 z后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。5 \2 L' H& I9 \# i
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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$ e4 p3 e# u/ S0 ?* m警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。9 c; l& W% m: r/ b
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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, c5 I% Q9 B1 B. y& X2 o, `接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
. O/ b  O0 N) b& A+ J, l8 T话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
* n7 A+ j$ C5 X5 v0 N% F$ |' CHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）5 e  f- j; u  U2 J: x% e  @3 D
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）' b' q% @7 x4 ~* i) x/ T
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
+ Y$ B* ?2 X5 D9 A: e5 _Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
; l: ^9 l* H4 ?# N( p; mWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）0 k- q; }" J+ x1 A
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）; N6 x; X& R" p7 Z: G$ D1 r; G4 }
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）0 J, _: l# X5 k+ }& b0 h6 ~
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
2 U  |6 n1 A! r1 \8 k* KWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
% P8 X2 |6 X) `. s: eMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）5 h2 C8 D3 h2 T! _$ c: T( C
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……