《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。+ q# {: l) w% `5 @5 h
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, D" C$ y- _1 y- ?影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
0 l# h/ H4 }5 YWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）6 W- j" v! q( x& {3 ~' H) ~
Holmes: I just picked it up.
0 D; w# k8 d5 N9 j+ K8 Q) _2 U1 U" wWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）/ r, C! x6 A6 j3 c
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
2 s1 G& m. r% K) O" f3 l' SWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）' n; ]  G+ Z) B; x7 Z3 R+ V
Holmes: You did.& |- J) ]; g# r
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
( b4 r3 L' U/ H0 e; f- K. M" \Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.( Y& v+ h  M' G7 Q$ W- t3 n% a
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
1 R* V! c: {+ r" W- gWatson: Permission to enter the armory.6 I* g1 e$ M/ }, E  D
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
9 k5 ]$ c/ t: t" T& uWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）* J: E8 \% W; t- i. a
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。3 j* t/ U; c4 m
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。; O/ J9 I! i+ u6 ~- j( N; J7 f
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）8 Q  y7 k' H/ Q% B
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?$ U( f3 G3 ]" y+ z/ m
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）# e, h1 |! H$ p# `% \7 J, J
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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6 Y( h( U) k! r" |" cIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
4 u5 \2 Z+ c' q& U; z/ A. Z) T7 WHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
5 N. m- P6 p* C8 b9 U& v) v% C; k) [Watson: Get that out of my face.1 U9 _0 T  U- `; |! V6 ]
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.- t6 M$ e9 ~9 ?) i# R. ]
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.6 s' L3 O- Z, b. S
路人警官Clarky上场。
- i. q+ b! A$ i) X# CClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.6 `. B& Z9 s: Z  }2 Y' h2 ~
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）2 q$ ~0 k# ^0 T0 {: r
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。1 _1 ~! _& D5 J
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?! j8 h  k0 F- H' a: x
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.' y% G% b$ c+ d9 {" @
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2 j. M5 K; i; h" {墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。% ^/ F2 z  I  _% A& c
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）' o1 L; Q* ?: ~# U7 F
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.- N/ F, ^. M4 `/ l4 x
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。0 K7 n+ I5 I: o2 E
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）6 _. h+ T2 J0 k! ^4 t$ C" {2 ]- [5 V
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
3 ]7 |9 C# L& x  }/ Q" L) W0 oWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）, t. n" H# m& ?( Z  B
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。$ Y2 l* K' \2 e3 o0 A( f! ^* A
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）, `$ c( p6 n2 ~# ^' X, ]
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。) t; K2 k0 p0 i% s; N  s2 {
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）$ B( f. b1 ]% y, L0 L3 ~4 ^7 s
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。$ L! M& A: @0 [+ \7 X$ {- l* x# O+ Q
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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, L" |- C- r* M" ~+ R( N接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。1 t6 I( U- G4 Z$ ]5 P( d/ Q
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
4 l$ ]2 e/ r7 a4 r8 X) K& }. oHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）! @; y9 q% \; W5 e7 [5 y
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
1 H( \! Z9 F, A( MHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）( g/ l$ J" o8 x1 ~6 `7 m2 n: h
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
* y! c! c% H" f( {5 K7 \; z" MWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
2 R7 j- z% {( ?# OHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）% G) h8 Y( X0 |3 b6 l
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）- [3 N0 ~6 k; x* P& }+ c: K
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）5 j2 w( Y, |9 R/ s# g; }
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
+ w3 [: a7 w0 @Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）! T, a" C: J2 P. _5 ]+ I
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）* t& ]. Z1 H( O0 |" K5 C1 }
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……