《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
: \. u& s" ]% }- X5 P/ h' t***********
* @2 s; h+ B$ O/ `+ M, |0 V- C5 E1．! D7 d! y+ E4 ~
影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。- q/ |. `3 P: J) w; p8 G5 N; E& s. P
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
  o& Z. P* K, |! b0 B2 Z  X3 mHolmes: I just picked it up.
6 h6 ^1 n7 s* G2 |0 _! ZWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）1 h8 R5 T8 A* y  q7 _) u* a
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.1 U. m0 W6 Q9 g; t
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）# v: x; {( X( Q+ i: b0 m) Z1 N
Holmes: You did.( g9 O& y: H6 s% ]
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）9 ?$ [6 g* @* l1 A% O; ?
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
9 @6 o- N3 O! ]2．
' S8 V: J* U! T1 ~% {/ n宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
8 d9 _  a# m: p; `' A% @  mWatson: Permission to enter the armory.. a8 X! U+ _+ r) |
Holmes: Granted.0 r" ~1 z5 ^' H0 w& O' X  l! c
3.+ C+ a4 ?% M  t: t0 i
晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。6 Q5 F7 i$ Q( M5 `
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）" j" q2 a. [5 A5 S# v9 @
4．7 }9 W# q: z0 }3 L$ i* i7 A  o% j, q0 L
拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
' n" R1 n/ s2 V0 O5．
( V4 g! z; _; uWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。4 k! i# C# h7 G5 P" m
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
2 r8 m) x6 T# C+ Y7 }+ ?2 j6．2 Z9 n% q- e; j' L; a6 J7 o- q
Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。" l% ^3 t, R9 d( s: a1 s4 t. }) n1 ?
7．
* j5 n% e3 H2 V' ^Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。# z0 ^& n- `' U4 c
8．5 q7 Z' m0 N" N
Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
2 i! l8 Y0 Y2 h（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
8 Z2 ?- {) k, V" NIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?' i; q' R2 q( W* I$ @4 N' ^! k
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）( Z% z+ F% `6 _& l0 E
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.) H. h" ~# v8 Z& H, U
9．1 H3 S+ t2 U: u" o% r6 F, i% a
Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
7 d. `% H% p/ J" M' w9 X3 lHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）/ c! _  X) L2 _8 ~  ^* f% O1 D
Watson: Get that out of my face.
8 Z( m9 V. Y( O: L; ?' DHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.  m! j; v: c, U0 {( _
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
  N. l: ]  H1 a路人警官Clarky上场。
0 X/ M; D- _5 d1 BClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.6 ^0 h8 h/ B! _5 X
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）$ x3 X% h) T9 U) t$ D& _; S
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
# G2 S7 b. O# e. qWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?# E# ^8 g1 w( _( n- X/ Y( c
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
, z* [# n2 A3 h' i$ o' u8 v5 F8 h10.+ w( X  Q8 w! c* V& C. _$ P
墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。/ j. F$ h, u$ B  z2 x; C
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）2 W6 y7 N9 F2 f; f
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
$ ?' R/ u4 q) p& W9 {4 P* D2 p9 TWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
; ^7 e9 O- \, u# ~% e: H11．
! t/ v1 W4 }. p9 Y$ D( [0 w0 E1 |河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。* ], H$ U, s4 P$ J
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
5 t! @0 k$ D$ t. V  ]* eBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…# h/ i4 h% T) V2 ~1 |6 p7 b
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
  |- a9 k! ^: `- S: S; k死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。4 k, s9 S% Y. F* _& p8 x9 Z
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
! w# g: ]2 M+ @' z5 E后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。+ S/ f* y; b8 `* s4 W/ J0 c' z$ c
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
  H: O- F& ^. o% H( H+ {' V12．# l; ]$ z, m; I7 S, K9 l/ g
警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。! u- h( D$ @; [3 r& H' a
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
+ _! ?2 x5 P9 }+ n, ^: |9 o: N( [13." V4 e* X! o. A/ w" W; |
接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。5 ^$ s2 F. i( S% b
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
0 s- G& F/ @( ^; X8 T/ A- |: m' ]Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
! P; c5 T' x: ^% B$ }, z# wWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
/ A$ D+ A' s. P" I* MHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）/ K. U$ A4 t9 b; H( ?
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?% q, Z9 u: a  z+ d8 \) G
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）4 [$ ?7 L+ W5 R7 L, u# r1 ?6 L
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
/ U( @/ i6 K: q2 oWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
2 u" {6 i  h& `( YHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
) u8 S, h: s" S$ L  VWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
0 m9 D  e+ I) O- Y0 ]Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）- W; P; t  y  Y
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）- A8 R* R: U0 K8 T, _: P; @+ N/ u* B8 _
***********4 o2 h4 @. I3 U- ~! K+ h+ Z
总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……