《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。1 J# G4 z, E/ h! w& s$ K
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。: u( s1 t* a. V  z% Z1 o2 }1 P6 B
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）& a0 i$ _2 _: s0 w# h
Holmes: I just picked it up.
) m% [( C3 A/ dWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）% z( ]0 k3 r' ?$ O, P, `# m
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.6 `1 X/ |7 p& m8 @: V' E
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）6 P. B, [; @9 w9 m6 d
Holmes: You did.9 z  y8 `# i; X5 K& E
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）: E2 U/ {& k4 R: ~7 @* `% K
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all." [6 f/ Q8 y1 Z% O
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; a$ }. u5 O8 v宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
! t* F1 ?! S* r; M& r( nWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
& A7 X: j2 y: Z: H# b0 F  \Holmes: Granted.
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$ x" k7 c" J" z4 W4 K- Q晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。4 @7 \; b2 N! s; ?& u" b
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）( G7 F7 u4 w) _1 Z5 I6 C$ ?
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。. H  U* e& m6 X# E) `
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
7 r" Y0 b9 ]9 K* f! cWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）! k" R4 b/ D5 |" z  X# ?
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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7 p5 W$ v# V$ Q5 ?, G4 `3 }Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
+ f  \5 \+ }% T: j2 d1 V8 l（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
; z3 V; W* l9 q5 o7 _) dIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?% |' t1 v  y( O$ z- L
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
# ?2 J) ?+ F4 O0 x: QIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。0 `2 H# p7 }: z% K: X' }
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
3 @8 \* o' c- O8 s& r; XWatson: Get that out of my face.
  g- ]: @; y  FHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
3 O1 J) r. @* a- a! E; u. p" `Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.$ `5 E. H) I- p. F! E
路人警官Clarky上场。
$ w5 ]3 C3 Z1 r4 Q$ M* G- }4 I7 sClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.1 p8 D! a* G; N
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
# i' u+ b7 |7 s. H2 i得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
- u1 l( z+ G, H6 d  VWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?8 v8 ~( U8 C: ], C
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。9 S" Q) |0 w! ~& O7 v; H: G2 Z
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
4 Q4 h9 ?' v9 X/ J% c% K8 [Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
$ {! v# r: `6 N4 ~; ~9 kWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）+ k6 k; I# `. r1 C, p7 L+ r
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。7 f5 i. s; |4 M; n. e4 b" Q1 J5 v
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）* e6 W, _$ }" ^
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
! A  c# i0 u; }' {Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）- G; B' T6 N! J9 Y& d/ h
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
2 B1 }8 j/ y9 n7 E- kHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）1 N) r) ~4 v1 z% W( n- y9 i
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。& P. }8 n( {* k$ }! o' ^: u; |
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。4 ~) l* O  I1 H3 Z5 g
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.7 }- Z* k" d# f
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。2 w% X- o; D% p0 [4 [
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。. y/ b. g% t4 }3 }" n' ?
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）' ]3 @2 r  ]0 ]8 f$ u4 j" u( d
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）+ F  m; I9 g+ M1 I* t6 l* x+ K
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）9 I0 f: x0 h4 z4 \4 L3 Q" W
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
( L' ?/ k9 P: r4 |8 X2 _# C/ @Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
2 d$ X/ k% C& t: AHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）( w/ H8 s+ c" ^
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）$ ]) [$ v) R7 ?6 T; d
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
/ A& C6 t1 m" T* Z& W' w4 WWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）7 ]7 i7 r' t! d/ O+ }4 A
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
  C' }4 v  D. j$ ?, G（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）3 ?, u) ^0 t6 q- u3 o
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4 S. Z1 m4 _2 Z/ C, _: A总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……