 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 $ i/ v* Q* Z8 f7 t! E8 W/ z6 N
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
. l' ^2 X9 F$ l$ aHolmes: I just picked it up.
: B) x- M2 i- ]9 Z* L7 tWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
" e) H1 {1 X& l% l5 dHolmes: Knew I forgot something.5 p, ]6 ^0 W0 k" m+ r
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
8 t7 j8 ~. c- nHolmes: You did.6 J3 G+ s% i. L9 R
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
8 `& \ t; \/ b( S0 d' t( oHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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* k9 e; S& G: S+ r$ u7 L- c$ p( G宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
& n1 X0 E L7 z3 fWatson: Permission to enter the armory.* e9 {8 S6 c; R$ [; @7 F
Holmes: Granted.$ v( E) j5 _1 K" B9 b" F- x
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- B! I H. K E' i+ E5 Z! H) @晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 ' g: m% `2 s5 X: R' v3 y
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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& O# m4 E, D7 p/ Z拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
2 K7 k, m5 u. E) aWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) % v) R( E. u! q" O. I
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9 Z# A6 f8 E7 a0 V' N2 C8 JHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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O, D: N' a+ v3 z$ G7 pBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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7 P1 j U& v; R1 O: XIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
, N' H0 {8 l' Y+ c9 D1 \- k( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 1 ^$ p {/ [( G+ n7 G8 e1 v/ O p
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?8 Q# s3 ], L$ W( {9 ~
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 3 a. W% V4 m& X& D
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 5 g6 G- j* o5 b) [+ u& @: Y
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
+ [& s6 Z- k8 g0 i' ~8 GWatson: Get that out of my face.3 ]7 \4 q6 Q7 n6 n9 o6 ~
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.. H0 {1 C7 [4 a1 x
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
& K& i7 ]+ C/ b1 f1 [路人警官 Clarky上场。 ; `0 a' x M* Y `' Z( T4 }6 O8 v
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.) n p( O& Y0 j1 J+ b
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
3 ]( Z; ^; m2 g得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 $ b3 J7 Z# M5 v% n1 V
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?1 G: N( l; D, H' e- d3 p% H
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.) m# R6 C) o1 Y
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 + e8 V( g# g) b& r: h3 z
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) " G5 B# Y( _# G& P% k4 d/ t( L% r
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
. ^! u% @5 N. \: J# Z& M* T* [Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) & v' n( B4 Z# g0 Y4 b% ]
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 & S. \. H5 C+ W
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
# `- S; g" H( }Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
# G; h' ^1 I! p8 L7 HWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
) B1 }/ Z( n. F4 T2 h' _ Q死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 9 p+ p7 N# v7 D
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) * r; S0 h6 [) b% S: y! d! m
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
- Q3 |0 F; n/ d0 mHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) / g* E7 Y4 p# B8 ^$ S
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
& Q# {# @6 A. y1 Z8 _Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 ! _" Y4 Y! e0 o: I2 C! W
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
1 l- P( F2 Z: oHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
3 U! ]% E- w) HWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) - S& k+ T% \. L+ s" ~ w
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
/ W; z5 o, l& o6 b6 {2 b( D( OMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?' y1 o8 M& v: P/ R$ e; p9 X! `* {
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
; k' Z( W. \/ s1 }+ l& fHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) $ j4 T# i6 z' _0 H, s
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 8 q& ^6 \2 h7 K* P" ?
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
5 c3 c# B! N) N" E' f4 HWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) 9 [ G( v2 d+ r% U' g
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) : W9 ?8 v0 s* A( \
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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