《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。5 q7 l8 R4 U8 f! ]
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）+ P: b. F" K6 ?' c
Holmes: I just picked it up.) Z/ ?6 [) [: R% f! k) {' T
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）3 ^8 p0 f" Z; `+ o0 F/ V1 D2 g
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.' v6 J' z$ C5 Y8 d4 j. m5 A1 r: l
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）- k! H- F2 N! j( T8 M
Holmes: You did.  V- C2 I1 {: q. d/ h( Q9 C: F3 X
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）7 f  O$ N$ |) K% g4 V
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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* {& e, @4 M3 j6 |1 z宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
' ^9 W" K+ ~( ^+ d4 ^6 P' oWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
4 Z0 M* W0 o( k9 S1 ^Holmes: Granted.( w: Z, l$ I& h  e
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
$ f  W5 o" A0 sWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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! @2 P$ O3 S9 _/ B" S, j1 S, Q7 A$ _/ {9 A拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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; W0 w3 e4 U' P* M) N+ S8 b8 ]Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
& e. s* M% o6 ?6 s- jWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。; I; C% j; c" o+ i. E
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。% _, H6 g0 B( g
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）" I& f* ~8 d. ]
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?1 d$ n1 d1 ?' S. b) U$ R9 P
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
) Y5 g9 o& [9 P/ o1 xIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
' ]. v" f; z/ [% q; m: dHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）4 E* T7 t0 ^& Z& W. |4 f
Watson: Get that out of my face.
# r  T: e2 J! V6 [! E+ c8 \Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.9 n, I6 U& z) ~% j
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face./ W+ d# @9 ?5 D
路人警官Clarky上场。  B3 c& A5 x0 f9 I; `( A2 B- V
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.& r$ S  I1 V3 [+ @: J5 n: n, J; f
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）8 |9 I  t+ x% O% w
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
0 C" q1 T) M: y1 U( IWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?9 s) |$ U8 C1 G1 f' |! \0 I2 n  g
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.3 [6 M" G  C9 Z
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。4 t" I( A% ]+ I3 }5 A" ?
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）, j7 S4 \' x% |" z
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.( W+ ^7 ]4 ?* P4 W1 {
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。2 z7 M0 L- w9 B9 ]! `7 a7 k
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
7 l8 D% y( A* s4 r$ K7 gBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
. J9 |% }. a; n- BWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）0 Q3 |8 }/ n0 P
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。9 ~# |9 G: [5 X
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）% Z2 c' W' f% R( Y# b& x, `
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
6 {, W6 W: j" ~$ N7 I, vHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。! z5 P7 d# i+ J9 u
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing." V; M# X/ y# Q
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。( l% I- O# C+ c3 X( h" X( H
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
7 G! n- t8 C- E1 ?Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
. @3 R. [' }) O3 I1 wWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）! M- r8 o, J1 v: ^
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）8 p) Y( k0 \, v/ J4 p9 [
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?7 x7 R- t) t, v; X
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）+ m2 p5 j; I8 D% e2 g3 C4 l
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）! i) d* Y+ w6 z
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）0 e0 K0 S; w3 X# v5 F) W5 x1 v" o
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
3 a3 g% G- g- y; xWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）) S/ D% V" t' s/ G% d; o
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
% @- E6 T8 N; o0 X（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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5 F* _6 l2 {  t7 M! S( R' f总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……