《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
  D/ R& T6 O6 z5 t. L9 LWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
' h0 i, o! v, sHolmes: I just picked it up.
6 ~% o+ H. {- \& Q' o* hWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）0 Y4 L9 _0 S1 D7 W$ T: |
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.; q  L: ?- ^4 m0 ?* b7 L; i( a
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
" {1 q- z2 e/ r4 {, u5 r6 G. UHolmes: You did.
( a, Z  v9 @# B2 M* n（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
8 _1 t: I8 q2 \$ r3 {- H( H8 rHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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% a3 n0 S2 {$ s. ?5 e宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
& v; J  X, O, ]% U  {Watson: Permission to enter the armory." K1 L* O9 r# x$ f( f
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。5 V6 U# A! ^( I- L  ?$ [' L" _
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）  W5 S$ N/ k' ~+ `- Q7 @
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。' ?) o; ~' [% i; G% r( O' E: m$ ^
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$ K. A- Z( b* [, ~& fWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。" {! q/ R" M, `0 e& U
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）9 T7 D9 y! E9 B6 [* E) E+ ]& a
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。  s, f4 T  m9 Q7 k8 X# M  c2 i' P
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。7 O# }* y. z# {- Y  s- Y* R
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# L3 q. s, m& EIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。  e9 g& a# w! T% M. t8 K& x
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
% D4 Y8 ^8 G* l  o! J6 R1 {/ Z" vIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
4 W* H0 j5 K4 C+ Z: F* [! }Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）9 K7 W0 ~  p' z
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
3 i/ d2 U) @9 B# y, y  C8 ^Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）6 t. h" @) g1 S- F# q& H8 G
Watson: Get that out of my face.
# ^9 a/ J. ~1 _( A$ G% yHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
- M7 P9 V1 F) U( G$ [4 Y0 Z# h! GWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.- H7 @$ s# B5 ?8 h6 L
路人警官Clarky上场。4 ~( S. y- n8 f. K8 q2 e
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.$ S7 y- H" ?9 W2 V1 W. s
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）1 @8 v5 a" d% h
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
2 v1 J8 Q0 j) c1 e$ sWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?) |3 p0 C. ]8 y2 I* F* x+ O! s
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.; z7 [- U) X  g5 a: p# t  E
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
4 s" c7 x3 w% x( ]# OWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
% W4 c/ d* i; o* P, t9 J/ JHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）, u5 ~( T3 h' J3 k
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…: L9 B  y9 O0 v& e- \
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
* b: F, u1 X1 p& c9 i+ h! h死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。/ ~* G9 C* {$ e: W1 o
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）& I3 o$ q. H* o1 v8 b0 h4 n6 J
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
$ C) s$ S  n% sHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）( R+ v& E- z- ?8 V6 l
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" `2 k' c3 o5 o& A警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
* g' T" v2 k" Z: o$ P0 c, @Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
  b; Q: L9 |. j" M! i# q, U话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。6 o: b. _9 {& Y  @
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）1 Z7 v4 z/ }$ v; z5 }8 A
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）" i' E1 I) r! p7 Z# D' ]/ A) j% K
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）) O- @7 p, Z! f7 X6 z, K6 i
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
  @" L1 A& V8 q8 W0 gWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
% u/ l  f% o, U9 |  RHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
+ h5 L" K( G( k5 oWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
! \& x0 c0 [  j% k" s, NHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）; C) `  X& g" _  @: g
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
0 o/ j6 f6 z3 d1 F: j' k& cMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
- J# D5 ^+ u7 x% K+ F（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）$ e! u% A5 y' L* c
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……