《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。; k# F: ]  R8 }1 N. U: a
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
2 T& t8 l$ V9 ]+ q  j; s( bWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）3 m9 F9 L! S& `4 T& w, Q
Holmes: I just picked it up.. ^; y. {% r6 R+ \$ T0 ~5 O
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）+ u/ R) G* W8 O' J2 q
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
8 O% n* E8 ~2 |! {$ `. T- dWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
  T2 b) @6 X% q. N& ^Holmes: You did.9 x( B- P; X3 Y5 I( s3 c4 x
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）' Q+ e( k/ w* w" J, N$ N  h
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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0 J. L* ]- J0 R8 m$ u宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
# [3 z5 Z4 |- s3 r9 o% FWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
/ y* P) ]; u0 N9 o  r4 tHolmes: Granted.; [3 M. D' c* r. J8 o/ s7 P' F
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。. }/ s9 a$ D( M$ ^6 K7 t1 F: M# S
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）2 i+ X9 k  e0 s% @2 K
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. j$ }: G' j0 W7 B8 ^拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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/ `2 e6 f; t0 \$ S" wWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
! l: e  @2 i. b* S% [Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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9 i. Q; k" r3 ~. `, PHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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8 N6 }( F6 u) j* wBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。% P: f" u  K* E* L/ e; E
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
' y4 p9 n5 g( y. W3 N( o5 c& `（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）9 k7 s. e% ?2 M7 r, }! Z
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
0 V+ \0 i* g" B& |) b4 L* Q5 |Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）1 [3 l" W# p* u
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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* U* m6 M% D3 r8 f3 m" EIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。2 ^7 c/ M( k# S1 ]& I9 Y
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
6 J  r7 J( y# Q% o% l% |Watson: Get that out of my face.
  r( Z; s* j* ]" Z8 ZHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.8 w3 B. o: k5 ^0 _7 h5 H) v
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
  ~$ O# i7 p8 A$ B% j+ V. e6 j' A路人警官Clarky上场。
  ?) q9 k: f( J+ V" gClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
) Y! p; X+ u& R0 S- Q2 C: k4 BHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）# k) {- d4 D2 u
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。- S$ u: t4 h% y% n
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
/ \0 c1 T0 h/ c/ J8 N1 AHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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$ {! d4 L! ]; W, U墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
: u: P  S1 G2 E+ h, c' ]( s  Y（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
0 y) B. d" n# y3 E  xHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
; k2 c( s2 a; wWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）# p. W) H( m: [6 |* y0 w$ L
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
9 a" Z) c/ i8 i; q- U* G8 J( N) A" dHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）- }7 {0 v6 ]# E
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…) V6 `8 ], W& x& W& ?  d7 p
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）7 [9 p2 c1 k9 a3 w
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
1 e2 @6 E. i$ J$ x- R! v" SHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
$ Y; A6 i5 G7 O后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
5 [4 `, c$ ?  Y% ]Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
) i8 m/ G9 q3 j6 x& v) DLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.- K3 x1 F" C" N+ S
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: m7 ~9 e4 h+ h  F8 k接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。3 G6 t9 [* Z6 c- _! c' {, D" D
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。* E& I! I) _% C  ?/ V3 q. F6 G! B' W
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
9 r* O! Y# a. hWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）8 \3 g; ?" U0 H4 j% R0 t0 }
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）+ A8 @1 q  F8 r) G4 B( c3 F& c8 ?
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?/ D: n! `3 ^7 L
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
% Y/ g1 }+ g; v- J1 {9 z' XHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
4 M, C9 `+ h1 b5 E5 n* x1 YWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）( W7 l2 z$ g! H) S/ t2 ~& b- A
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
5 U' ]( j- |3 S+ X  [# HWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
% o. q& f% @' F) pMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
6 \+ h% k/ x+ s0 ^! h0 {1 \（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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# Y+ b3 Y% f( s, t* I7 Z' k' F总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……