《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。, a& B! s# s. {( n  V7 s3 K
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2 i3 m$ h, r; ^4 E2 [5 S影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。: i3 |% f2 N/ C
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
7 ~# ~1 y0 k4 _6 ~Holmes: I just picked it up.9 P6 u8 p/ `" u( B( p, T
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）. T: B. {( G$ l, R3 x0 D* H
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
+ _  M# R: F1 _Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
+ F: k) v4 T( J: \/ zHolmes: You did.
# s! }# l# @2 e) E, e/ K（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
( J: N" v2 _# b3 THolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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% k% ?) w$ ~' S宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。7 h7 e8 k- b- b9 K% p* [
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
- A" h% R0 @6 b+ aHolmes: Granted.3 w% y0 t; s' y+ Q$ Q
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。8 S  A* d; k! O0 p3 o
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）1 f  W$ t6 s; V( ?
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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& Q! A: G+ O- t& t1 i1 J3 C4 e3 ^* @Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。5 W6 D% i# Y5 F* N
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）  n1 ~# J% e+ K3 E- e, p( X$ X
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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6 h1 N7 P6 @  ?! _5 v" FBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。$ A8 J0 ?' t) D* C- E8 e
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& t# z# x; a& z: c$ ~( DIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。7 e5 x# n+ U) y3 b
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）  s3 t$ l$ o) y5 V4 N4 k
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
! M( {' U1 w# j4 ~Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
/ |% v; }2 u$ [6 X8 EIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.8 L9 m; ]3 r5 V
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。$ R* L# Q8 A# @& F1 H6 d5 K+ \- \! i
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）! L( p8 e* w- y. y: E
Watson: Get that out of my face.
0 q. @* D5 d6 R2 ^% ]; p# ZHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
& p: V. K/ ?* FWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
) O; x' d! V2 l1 W, s  Y9 K路人警官Clarky上场。
9 {2 R! l* {- V& rClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.; z% u' I5 ], D* W
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
9 Y* N) ]: Q- H3 S3 [5 A得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
9 s1 h, k# g) ?4 x4 m( jWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
8 N4 X( r. A' H. pHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
6 {4 t3 y) O; u; e  n. [* `（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
% x: R. O) A5 FHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
( z/ W  j+ p; GWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）  h: @1 k7 L: |( R* a
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。3 W2 |( w! `* d5 v( G+ n
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）; H( p) \' q( m% C- C
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
9 Y0 x% b3 R  i! OWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）1 ]- e4 q7 s$ n- j" T2 @: W! s
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。$ j. ]/ y% f  B& C3 {: X# Q
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）7 F2 T# F- v1 I+ p
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
. K8 J: ?( A( A7 M2 `0 JHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）7 s8 x) |9 R( I" D+ q& {
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& U! |2 n; \! j; u  Q* @警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
( M( V" ?( n  I6 D2 F3 ?# zLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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# t5 k) O  i" }9 k* r" p) q2 {接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。9 {2 E5 G/ [# y+ n7 O
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。8 a+ ~1 ?( ^( u9 Z+ _( P
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）* L) R* s; _( v, I/ i! i4 P
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
9 D5 `! @1 E' M7 U7 o+ U% FHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
7 T7 `  E! u7 FMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?2 p8 S+ z2 l( d; Y- _; ^
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
+ ?3 \2 x) y. ?- K; P5 O/ sHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
, e. M3 ^, P2 l3 Q2 c8 bWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）( c# s/ X  \: A, E2 H
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
$ q9 c7 A- O3 r7 kWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
' K' M3 F/ }# f/ `& V3 A; \Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
" l3 `9 }0 |% ?2 H（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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3 B1 G* k1 H  j$ q: i: `  t总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……