《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
" @. X/ Z5 ?+ K: \, O9 ~1 TWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
  t& N' l, K) u8 A- q) f9 F: K3 SHolmes: I just picked it up.$ e4 s* ~; ]- L0 \2 u3 F7 L
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）8 s* {" H8 l) R9 d# S: O7 e
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
- A+ C2 ^" n( l- q, K' TWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
" s! V( z5 Z  \4 e8 n$ d0 IHolmes: You did.
$ n  f; [8 R/ \9 J2 B（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）  P* S# H# s% Z3 z
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.5 U9 Q# U7 A6 M, @2 t# |9 y
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+ M6 u- ]/ E7 y0 [9 l$ v宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
% z* \, ]& q1 k8 YWatson: Permission to enter the armory.: c9 m& t7 k9 y: R0 s: W  k* b
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。! i: J' i% u0 G$ x. k, J6 k
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。  H( }0 i! M( V4 ^4 u2 p! g
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
0 s, c7 C9 t2 |0 m3 zWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）$ \6 H" N* C4 A! L& h4 W
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。! x/ G/ [$ i  K
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/ K' W0 u4 m0 E9 T* g% BBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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5 [) t! l/ `# `( K% m6 p0 FIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。$ U' i6 @5 O9 y7 k1 j: n) v
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）# D. v: O; D* J6 V4 T, X
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?4 F" N$ v; ]9 m
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）6 k8 I/ O# n8 b( f+ N$ S: ]
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.( E; P- J1 t! [& \" I$ H2 f
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2 F0 q. V* P) n; k! f' OIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。& E- T3 J0 Z- z) [
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
1 ?  v! n' u8 M: YWatson: Get that out of my face.
9 X; P6 [1 l. b' A9 {Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.7 n  U+ e( `6 [2 [& C
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
/ ?( o& ^! Z! `' y路人警官Clarky上场。
+ w0 h! z/ ^: GClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
& o; Q4 k4 M* s" |( DHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
# p: Y! V/ {9 b得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
$ b8 I# i# u$ g6 U6 ^6 \Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
1 g+ r7 R) [  F7 VHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
$ j: ^/ D( V1 f' d5 ~5 @（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）# p9 Y+ |* q  {, }9 Y
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.3 \, k# {+ u4 Y$ z! z9 s5 p$ j5 }
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
5 `. r0 X3 |6 _+ f0 X9 \$ T" lHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
% n- V/ M; L( q3 @0 pBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…+ B+ e& T7 z8 h. i; `9 p
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）6 g" w+ z" V7 S4 y$ K: a
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。/ x* i0 _# b( o- _
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）* t/ ^: S4 y/ W* v
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。  |! ?& M; l; q% c) E7 M  o1 `8 c+ [! u
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）! A( f0 x# _6 q: P- @
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" i! Y  Y5 W) k' L: ]警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
1 Y, X+ z- c3 L+ _Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.  w5 D7 y) E( }
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
) y! y4 t, x4 D% c! u- u话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
, ?  W; V2 D) [! H5 w6 v% qHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）& S& R& I6 j; r& u4 W
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）3 T; o1 l; V5 F' P, j
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）7 T& K2 c, K/ H3 X
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?4 ~( r) `2 F/ n4 U1 p# G3 v
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）: Q, L3 A5 Q8 |4 d  E: }, v
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）6 ?9 N, h* ]' B, |2 M# Z. T
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
0 r$ h' T- R% C" AHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
2 r: n) W4 F8 m' D4 S+ t+ P% GWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）; V0 n: n5 Y$ l9 D$ \& U
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）  W, `# V: B+ o( U9 G6 \+ p
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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3 E2 O1 F8 x: l$ B) l! P总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……