《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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4 s% F, {0 o* R2 p6 X( J$ d2 x* ]影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。9 [- u( t6 \. A$ Z
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）9 ~: A; L$ |2 x0 O( E- C3 T5 f
Holmes: I just picked it up." V. l( I9 N4 p
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）& a2 `, S  E6 o3 M3 {
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.0 _* h3 a( y5 R
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）, B0 B; J( K* i: u
Holmes: You did.3 l( ]; [9 H+ }
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
5 m4 S/ W" W" e4 dHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。3 \' T6 z/ O9 A" S4 g
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
- f  @& |- q, z* o7 v' d/ q# BHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
" R+ N" i7 }) ?4 K* FWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）( s0 }0 k. Z0 }, D2 }
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。  K: n9 [+ z4 |( C- p. T. h
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。) \6 y( F4 Z6 P$ x7 ^' @
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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, S3 ?/ C* ~- i8 }Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。, {! C6 n5 A" ]. i
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8 [* `0 b0 q2 T% O, ^$ O0 E( yIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。1 |* L. p+ }0 o* K1 T) ^$ a- ]
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）  `6 r2 n+ b6 L$ A% I4 l
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
8 d2 U- A" ]( z- o0 IHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
8 h& `6 z% z) A# eIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope." [' e1 C. O! U5 z# C$ U
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& l# R) V- U# E, ^6 a2 BIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。4 a) e, A3 y0 P
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）! @  n1 ^! p5 T: ]& H
Watson: Get that out of my face.
0 C/ a& j  v1 l$ C0 v7 KHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.( u0 t1 u5 p9 F
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.) W! J3 q' n1 y) B3 z
路人警官Clarky上场。
; N: |) D( n& |: TClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
8 u/ v& @% v8 b' D2 S: xHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
! j  U3 m! _" {! T( a; @, K得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。; S* _- ]& t1 ^! W4 v9 @/ E
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?2 Z9 Z! |6 p1 @' _( Q4 w" D0 T+ a
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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4 `3 q4 F0 [) h" Z+ L( B墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。" b) j+ q3 h+ i) a0 F
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）, w6 A9 H' @- i
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
7 e3 m, Q# o7 C* I1 B- DWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）5 y/ ~( J5 T2 J$ H% G5 }: u
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
7 W' q8 z/ ?' JHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）. c  R. N+ T6 f) o
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…$ A  w9 q  g/ R5 k4 Y9 J
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
# h0 a. n( D. \3 {- o& I0 L* T死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
* X5 a/ ~4 Z4 k) W- \Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）. H- g* H- W# |) F
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
  u0 f8 ?0 D: y& bHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）7 J. j" ^! |/ c0 p
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。" N# p: n  g9 w* i- q
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing., w" @% A% W8 y5 n0 X+ E
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3 p% m, g9 p$ B' [/ J& g接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。' c, |5 A" Y4 I& N" r) B0 W
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。8 y! }- u- n. r$ Z
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）/ R& l% H8 \  p% v. C7 }' [% r" \
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）+ w( [3 Q0 M( l
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）" O0 s6 v% C4 Y2 N3 S# E
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?9 r1 X7 }0 U/ p
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
9 @2 S1 E9 q7 y" w' DHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
# z, V: h) V7 mWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）) L% i1 p7 ]' A$ v3 q! @
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）$ U. n+ s" ]! q
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
/ `: F0 b: b' Q+ ]Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
! {' f3 {# T1 S, L（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）. {4 K, e8 O6 S& g8 G( y0 W
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……