《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。3 b* r( u$ p! H4 J6 b( E& {
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
/ S0 T( B9 C0 `1 S/ O# gWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
9 y' b1 e. b4 g5 X- M: _Holmes: I just picked it up.
% T0 Y% x  @0 k/ UWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
" T: V1 d  m  `+ RHolmes: Knew I forgot something.- e3 o  Z( S# v) X
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）( M' V& {! f& q- y
Holmes: You did.
) o; }) X3 M5 ~# v5 o- L  k" C（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
% B5 F2 ^) i0 u! X- p( J5 ?  Q) jHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all./ r5 Z8 Y0 ?* @; ]; P
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
4 X- O  B5 l; W, w. [* YWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
* X- O' @3 D0 Y3 L: A# g! ]2 WHolmes: Granted.
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$ g" `, [, l1 k( ~晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
5 L3 K; H9 o4 @7 u- D0 i" NWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）) {* I% L3 P) E. N5 }8 O
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( x( P" s4 W3 x4 U+ M" M拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。9 {' F  {7 p  w9 G" _. H
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。: Q. ]* s0 X% u# ^& y) j* X) y
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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" A9 [/ H+ q7 S' e- q$ q5 R+ NIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。! e5 d: b( V& o% f; K3 b
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
0 U/ Y# f2 Z, G3 N7 U3 ~& LIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
8 `; `, P6 c0 Z  RHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
! Q. X9 ^3 U+ O" u# d4 xIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.) g4 p% a; ?  i0 }; @+ U. s- Z$ W
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
/ s( \1 F7 Z2 |9 X2 SHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
. V7 P$ E5 R0 W1 V3 J2 rWatson: Get that out of my face.
6 f2 Y% q  ]" Z$ S8 Y8 @Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
( m4 B9 M8 n" X" W# y1 q) z6 f% f. aWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
( w7 d. t( q$ j  p' _# A路人警官Clarky上场。
) S' u. m1 e/ R) YClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
% B/ M, }1 _" M8 u. m* C# oHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
: M  G. ]5 O" i0 _. G8 y$ ^! J  U得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。- B8 k: B1 _% |2 f7 q' ^7 v$ I/ G
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
0 ]! v& l9 E- k0 ]5 F% L& k+ [2 FHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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% B% a- X( F* Z墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。0 y- t  q* j. D) \* N, }0 r& a
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
/ ~' w5 c, C+ {Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
0 r* x# o0 E2 iWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）6 h5 R5 i7 G8 }  [7 p
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) |# G6 o! P' X) M; c/ B, x河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
% @  C& h) P% N7 S  R0 ^Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）! s/ o: A8 a$ S$ Y. O
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…, c( s# e4 g3 b& i7 X
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）& G' Q3 G( E% T) f) S. ^* i5 A# Q
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。" ?- L2 _3 W+ O: J' q+ x  v
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
6 ?0 a$ x: V3 t& N后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。% @- S4 A' X, V' _# @1 e& s
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
2 X6 Q+ g& T7 r, m3 i! _Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing., I& ~. i% |# f
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/ l0 y5 L; a1 s3 ~. @* d) I6 t接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
7 _; \  H0 [/ g  t8 k2 }话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
. `1 Y6 i( Z4 j5 i( A% UHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）  {5 s' @: ]8 m, y5 t3 M% f  t0 o
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）+ n" C" w: ^+ R- v+ t7 B+ P
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）) I4 i( T& \, j/ `; D
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?# a) L. u; H$ C4 I% ^7 n0 g
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）* i* G' _$ C. S& |9 i
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
$ M0 z* i2 R- _- ~* i  CWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
+ Q" l) }. g/ b* GHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）0 f5 B  X8 h7 G! u, F
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）) c# {5 I' W: P% K
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）) g0 R4 U9 \, R. w8 k
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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0 ~" H. i- X) e4 k6 P9 r& P6 M总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……