《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。% Y" ?& n8 l* i
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）0 o  V5 R1 q# S( E
Holmes: I just picked it up.
9 p" k( _6 S7 a' \" pWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
/ w# y2 N$ Q+ Y4 t9 E% r7 t) ]0 W& OHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
7 S% p4 l. p4 P2 d$ aWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）# H$ Y  \% `4 M4 k- U. V* T
Holmes: You did.
3 w' ], U7 }# ^0 U6 o( x0 Q（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）- ]4 i$ r0 D* V! m8 h. w/ g: g- X
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
0 h* P7 k( I7 Y, R) k+ n, `Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
" u$ v' \/ X1 @3 G& g5 `Holmes: Granted.5 I+ x8 P- V8 d7 Z4 P
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。8 q5 n; W+ D% K% s* o
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）) L' `* Y1 b  I4 }: O
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
' R4 V# S9 Z2 DWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）+ E6 p0 j9 G; ]% F) r' Q
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。* l) L& K: V( y' l" K8 V
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0 F: z, i. e1 r( g9 {) JBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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% R8 [% Y/ ?& S8 a8 f1 \" o4 sIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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% k5 v# T& v) Z. h) K: G# DIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?8 F* S% f" h: t( L' K
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
$ v* a0 I- W7 C3 K+ @, ^* s; PIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
$ H' J4 |6 C/ f4 e4 T" _Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）9 D; l4 H  \& J8 S9 V
Watson: Get that out of my face.
" Q4 B! O  h% e% bHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
7 `7 |) e# N8 E/ _" lWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
* g- `( A, ]* e. U8 G1 r# J% j路人警官Clarky上场。
" `; {& G0 ?( W# H) P2 rClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.% I) n3 N. ^+ u  ~# C9 l; ?# ^+ q/ J
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
( K% Z9 T7 a- q1 o- E得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
1 p9 m. E$ q2 Q9 z; W$ ~Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
# e2 `+ z. A8 N( o% A1 XHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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6 I8 R# l% ^* r: w+ X6 q墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
3 m5 S) [# O6 M5 S( b4 n3 Q1 k（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）7 Z& M' k( b1 L
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
* t" w  L/ K) X3 _# g- TWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）2 E7 j6 {: t* R  [' m0 T# \: K
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
  ]% L5 V0 \% F7 ^1 p8 X/ p( ^5 r6 dHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
* g  @7 L* z7 E+ @. ]2 BBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
2 a% c' u9 T1 X& wWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）% z, |4 r) G' j# w0 E5 `
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。- L  _; M. W+ s) ^' r4 _
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）( Y4 `  m; o) Y# a( r; C3 n( J# R
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。4 c+ x9 ]4 ~& ~% I
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）! a* x/ `" O$ \3 v1 e- w
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' I0 Q5 W  W( p7 \& F1 @( \! V# W警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
- ^% W7 ], v; G1 p3 O3 |- rLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.% u' ?; d; q) I% `) p' U1 h
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/ R3 \" v. _8 n8 z! _接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。8 T$ }2 I$ D. m+ ^/ ?, F
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。7 {) ~/ S3 P' d1 K, I  |0 x# o
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）* i" V! i! w+ `$ C  i( `# g
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）" f6 C/ t2 Q; d
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）9 g0 Y! T8 Q1 H* L
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
' {/ b( C9 ]. {0 k% }+ uWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）8 O$ y8 V; H. K4 V( a
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）6 M. ^( q, o+ t3 \' O( D- Q
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）) V* p( O7 g3 l* J
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
: s0 h4 i' s$ W" C5 R7 M& MWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
, c; K+ b9 v2 Y* d3 TMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）4 {$ ^( N+ G1 T! \
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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" ]) E2 v  X$ @! r2 |总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……