《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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3 X: T/ ?- d$ G0 c$ h0 k, |) I影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
2 {8 P2 [0 G( }) v) Z$ w1 UWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）: y) d( V! J, S2 c$ J0 G* ?; j) w5 h) o; L
Holmes: I just picked it up.
$ L+ [( q9 L1 [  s4 k% }7 [Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
4 x& u; X, N1 y  ?4 aHolmes: Knew I forgot something.: d9 l7 o, ^  k& B, r9 w& h9 C
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）: v$ L8 t& \" H) C( d6 J" v- _
Holmes: You did.
% U: j' b$ j( U5 ]. j（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
- K" Y7 u$ R8 G; j* B, [" p5 ?8 UHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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& c0 D# |5 A/ x5 G宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。* U$ b1 L. \, i$ V! t
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
5 Z4 M6 X2 t7 ~( }Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
$ T  b8 D9 d* |7 z$ CWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）+ P2 M* X- d- I  C+ {$ i) }
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* Q9 F( F! D* G7 I) n9 z: g0 T拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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+ k0 Q6 e" _$ W+ gWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
2 k8 j; u* D8 _& J, I6 mWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。' v# w- A1 c3 }6 n8 g! H. e
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。9 n6 c) ^4 Z5 S1 E" i
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
7 i6 m( ~6 v$ q' T8 K  B（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
1 @1 M5 {) M4 |! i' ~Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?* e2 F( c. O2 R$ X
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
) F% I8 K% Y$ S8 }0 J9 ~9 A# CIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
- e# e0 ~5 h0 q1 v# XHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）/ ^' j% \6 ]$ D/ S$ {' U6 w
Watson: Get that out of my face.
* s- ^2 F$ r! r4 ?5 pHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
+ C; h; _+ J0 ?# S: p4 PWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
6 g" f2 ^  U6 x# f4 w路人警官Clarky上场。' q1 D- e& N% E9 G. j
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.6 `0 {( D, T- O+ M6 E! Q' Y6 l
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
9 W6 g; U+ f6 o! i8 D) d* L得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。- I5 E4 b- A5 q% @( u7 M4 d
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?% ]# e7 O2 S4 r- P
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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* H; m  \; S# P" q墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
% [: ]$ H9 i4 ~- v（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）4 X* t- p8 _! _- s. J& Q; ]
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.* ~+ M" p- r( u1 b1 f6 J
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）) m4 A1 {+ a5 T0 u
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
& p. w* H. Y( Q0 d6 u1 S8 d# o& ^Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）. z" u0 a3 R4 E/ ~
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…, G7 I& U4 a, C# U6 Q
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）$ V% L( K' }3 d3 L; k. Y
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。. j4 g+ m" w0 E2 c& ~
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
# m9 j' u* H8 u- F后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。$ F+ C3 |, L: J6 ~2 p
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）% o; J5 t# }+ D. I6 P8 P  f
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
  ?, R+ G% d% G! s; r2 K: zLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.+ d' `+ Q. P' M0 I; B/ \& n" ]* A
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6 S6 e0 X1 S+ P: ^8 H接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
5 d7 B/ L: T0 b1 h% t8 V话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。# O' n% U6 T; `# H
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
# O  M" A$ T7 K) h( T  B" K; \; jWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
$ V: l+ Y) v! Q! A( k; e, DHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）' Q! P4 |; C- e+ i" o, D
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?& E- |( M# J7 E& @: S' Q7 R
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
5 q9 k. L% W& L( L' n, {Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
0 a/ {3 K0 \: ^/ v$ IWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
* i2 B6 |  f  P4 c+ S) VHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）) r8 a* f4 v' n( ?8 _. w
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
( L$ I) O9 {' c- R; ^Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）5 @( u! }" c$ r/ m2 N3 k# U2 y
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）( L1 @% @5 g- }+ \( r# I! H' a8 m8 S
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# S7 }2 N& ~7 e6 l总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……