《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。5 o7 z. Y2 q) O
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
" `4 l6 M+ W& V0 X& xWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
$ J2 V3 r2 M: ?+ _: tHolmes: I just picked it up.$ F' C3 O6 t$ W' ^
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）6 J  ]7 Y0 j9 t" \* Y- s6 E
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.9 g3 l3 B; w6 K5 K; m  z$ b, q
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）1 x  b- H* e4 F( n# ]5 t
Holmes: You did.
  \- F5 n' O. b* B, o2 p（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）3 n4 P8 N! H' }3 s$ }
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。. ?5 M# K  K+ W( Z4 V9 S
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.. f/ H! @% D! _0 Q
Holmes: Granted.
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. I/ z3 ]- o+ x5 k6 x晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。% g/ `$ |/ o5 B4 o! i
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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. k; T# l5 T5 _, N0 k拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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# |* K( R# }$ n) y' u) @7 d$ K; Y" jWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。  P7 W& i- j+ r6 a, K  j& G. q
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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: c2 P7 Y8 }2 z, W; I3 U9 GHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。* s- p' e0 D# k9 B2 A* Z4 o
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
, ^$ ^$ v  O1 D  Z3 n- w& p2 b* `（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）5 V6 n: v0 u$ q4 a# T+ {5 ?: ~+ t6 I
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
# W6 |* H& }  ?+ c6 aHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）3 M7 G6 r- s9 \0 l; n
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.9 S" l2 z. Y9 a, t- ^2 j2 y
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2 {" W3 m/ B! }' U0 }- YIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。. u! w* {7 S: @2 y& E: A
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）6 c9 k& o' [* `# \
Watson: Get that out of my face./ n& n2 t# P" \8 N/ L; O5 g) T0 J
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
7 l9 `5 {) m1 a; Q5 XWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.* a& q$ }% d5 H  A
路人警官Clarky上场。  L/ |$ o, u$ |; S
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
  E( c3 l- L6 }$ [( DHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）, Y7 V/ A* K6 C) F( R
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
. {9 `9 e2 N# I! tWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?3 `7 A. r) x3 E" i5 ?0 {: P* g5 H
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.5 m4 Y! n& L+ t2 s" _* W7 y+ l
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
+ g7 Q- U$ \: R（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）: U$ Q# |( g' l% f
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.: P6 c2 E# |4 s$ P0 J6 T
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）9 ~' X& {  ?% J' D$ ~
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
6 g$ T' R7 B( U3 ^7 \% q! t; THolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）! Q5 ~8 t* E6 n2 `8 a
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…5 P* k. W# U$ J& I+ X0 s) g
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
, {/ }! {: ~" ^+ f+ ]死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。7 P2 Y) g# d6 p
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
3 |" I: H4 i, q! A  w% V后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
) Z( A" l8 X0 G. x2 CHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）% M3 p9 G6 I# Q3 }
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0 d  [$ i. \% h6 S  ]; Z' q警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。) S5 g# K: l3 b5 m
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.$ y. q3 {/ ~; t, z; _, e4 n6 Q
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。+ ]6 L& u8 @1 Y7 f# @; Q
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
) s2 n. R, H. e* w4 J; PHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
/ A7 [) `8 D5 C, {3 f' \7 b4 NWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
6 \' i* g/ b7 |  h+ tHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
. m% D+ h" W/ L2 DMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
, {+ l7 r& r% Y& |$ |: r2 y- y+ q- `Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
4 s1 n( m4 G! J6 z# |. EHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）! n4 J; H) \# \: d3 n. a
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）5 l7 m& n$ ~$ h
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
" r  K* _' E% F- U+ Z7 OWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）2 k' g6 t6 q$ h. v. }( M
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）! [6 R; m$ }: {  }7 B
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）1 c0 K% B9 y  P: z3 e
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7 X7 l  c  ~  k; ?" ?* g8 Z总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……