《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。7 l# l! `$ V2 K* @0 d4 L1 B) R
***********( V3 Z3 D7 c7 X$ ]) @5 W& q
1．
# s/ L8 P- |' \+ c; ]影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。; ~, a6 c: C/ K9 e- ?) z$ B
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）! ?9 M! A2 v/ P3 ?0 l" w
Holmes: I just picked it up.
2 I) g$ d( ~+ x! g* ^3 u6 [Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
7 P) C9 Y' |& U. L2 F1 CHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
4 w! M5 d( E, r; x- K8 R; qWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）. }  S. C  m8 i: |7 k
Holmes: You did.
! |$ e6 @( A0 B( V8 V（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）+ ?. H% j: V) p+ ~$ t
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.' ~/ l  j: P* B
2．
+ y- Q+ ^, U: \- r宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。0 b- Y) t3 F  ]' R
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.2 m& J& M, a7 N1 W" l% z; j
Holmes: Granted.$ @# f/ Z; |6 q9 P
3.
9 `9 \5 _" h+ X* r4 a% N- G7 ?. H晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
% b4 ~' i0 K$ a$ QWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）- u  w0 s) e9 ~6 J8 A$ y) f0 Z7 C- Y
4．
5 p: D/ P/ s7 I8 a拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
& Z: H. p- w7 k+ q% T" d5．% u" s! k  K. i0 F+ g5 d
Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
' S4 T% \9 ~# x/ Z& {2 fWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）- e* K9 f5 g: a0 C
6．
$ x) i: S/ @0 F1 ~8 ?# F* [Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
% X. O- M( y& \" M7 O7．7 b) h+ E) H8 h( ^* ~
Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
1 ~8 \+ S) C, ~9 K8．
5 m8 y' A3 P% c5 ]Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
9 L4 K+ x3 ]9 Z: t3 g0 ]- V- k（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
. l9 `4 `0 B2 A/ I( bIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?4 m" ^# |4 a2 \" F# I+ ~
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）! ?1 _) e6 h  N6 D9 t1 P- J$ V& t
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.8 _3 [* k8 B! I
9．. v0 g+ |. X( h4 X/ P
Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。& F) C& x  W! k  v: Z
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）! ?! G, U1 O" j3 R6 C! h8 u$ c9 y
Watson: Get that out of my face.8 d, h. H' C7 N& g
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
6 t0 @& b" Y& v9 pWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.( N9 m, h# ]5 V, D/ X5 a* D' u
路人警官Clarky上场。& O7 o0 @1 x9 `5 p* X- e
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.- D* R1 P7 u8 e: t! l* t: I
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）/ r4 w7 p" ?/ Q+ \  ^5 V( j
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
  M/ S. `( r2 |: A& ]. lWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?9 V/ u  r5 B$ @6 N+ _+ X# q5 X
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
7 `( s- y9 x  d5 b$ x10.
- y9 p" |- H$ n+ q: C6 h墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
3 B+ Q4 c+ R  e% k* Q（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
# ]) W+ A6 [5 c% E* {3 cHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
$ Y  N7 o# p/ K( NWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
' ?: W6 o8 y$ a7 S$ z2 G11．& d; V9 a  ~2 V
河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。1 j. t* V0 z  w! l/ c
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）: t- b4 ^% B2 y; d. c" F+ U% X6 ^
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
% s% q6 t2 p0 tWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）+ a, p3 M0 V- `6 b- Z
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。4 [- P! y, L+ e3 p# y2 i) D! x: l
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
8 k8 j: v3 g' j5 r: }  \+ d6 E后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。' }7 A1 \4 F; X" D. T5 K
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）! q5 N- Z8 W) y- S! f8 B9 u0 a
12．; U% `1 k* {. P: D+ n2 F
警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。# H) Z9 h- u$ y, H
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing./ _+ P/ Y" D- A0 T5 Z  D
13.
6 o% I+ V" W) ^: ~接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
& i0 B) I  T6 o: r2 O# a/ T话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
( O3 M$ g4 B, z# H, L) O4 |* U$ pHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）& G- i! h. }* W. a* U
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）$ l- G$ {1 j% O% y
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
6 H$ G6 x; d, N* k- k: J: Q% hMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
) J9 t8 z" o1 e: g) CWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）% M! O' F- N3 |
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）5 ]9 ?. M$ w  A
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）/ }$ `  X8 G5 V# |" {% l  B8 \; `, Q
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）3 l: E% p6 O1 }$ u0 \3 F3 y
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
, h3 e/ {4 Q' \. b% k0 RMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
5 B) z6 R" d" ^0 B; J$ l! ^; h（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）" _2 g4 ]  ?# ^5 Z/ B
***********! Q) r0 ~7 N" h9 ~9 R" r2 m
总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……