《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。, Z1 O! S0 ~  g
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
6 d) R7 Z7 y& c1 s3 P' s( A( L1 iWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）  ^' k; q3 ~4 g1 B9 n7 p
Holmes: I just picked it up.# a/ Y0 K4 {9 z6 x- z3 i
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
5 c. q" N' G. f: D' uHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
# J' y7 d) ^# }1 {Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）' O; Z8 |# L# t; y5 z, s' g( B5 g1 R
Holmes: You did." e$ `2 ?' r9 @; H1 f+ i) j3 R
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
3 ]: u6 ^3 h- ?Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.4 V' G/ D5 D2 ?  s7 N
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4 M& v% u! ~6 b2 o& g宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
# I* U3 u3 o# n% A2 C/ s5 m7 UWatson: Permission to enter the armory./ R& J* T& X8 f3 s" N0 L5 w( X! j
Holmes: Granted.
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- H  }% A' f% T* b' C晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。1 h0 y) k3 s$ n4 h" W
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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  @) ?% i+ x4 L0 `  N, q% y拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
& g$ t9 z9 Q! M7 kWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）' r! E3 J4 N; |+ O2 k& U, V
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。8 x2 g( I3 R! R$ R( c( O
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。& e+ O) L1 o7 x0 j' P: p
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- H5 u& f2 x- DIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。! u4 B: m3 r8 j, A
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
1 L# t% g- U$ b& T. O1 M! L, C. IIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?( H3 X0 I, w, J6 \. z/ ?
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）# c' n2 k) I8 o3 g
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.8 O/ W" \4 _- u2 `9 {& D1 ?
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% i9 F: j& h! Z. r3 y3 p1 A4 PIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
4 R, O( m/ {" Q% `  e% ^# O7 JHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
3 O1 J' M  U2 [0 i* \( QWatson: Get that out of my face.
: H2 h% @  B* ]! |( EHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.4 ~& C) d7 ^2 [2 W4 K
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face." [0 `; I) J* L2 j
路人警官Clarky上场。% o' M" Y4 O- T4 }' J
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.6 f3 I3 C& g7 l1 y9 A$ G
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）& `, X1 P- ?* j% L
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
1 f+ K' \# \6 Q, @' Q" ^Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
1 f+ l, F! q  H8 M* h" {7 YHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。4 ~" d  r7 T/ x4 }: @  u
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
+ y" ?; w; f! j( m1 Z0 JHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely." P* [$ O7 P4 c5 I; p5 p/ ?1 z* Q
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。0 G1 k& n- U9 c
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
9 O; ^9 D1 D% ^. n4 A5 \7 a; D- zBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…3 _! a! `/ D4 ?0 S3 ~
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
, [1 v, h* U& T7 p" z死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
9 n: \" ]  A' @4 I% @Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）* Z, }, K! M" N' q. \: X( M7 n
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
6 u5 z1 P$ U* X* z2 P. ]& Z4 b# Z+ RHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
' _! @9 C$ @7 D, k3 R: P4 cLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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' B* C/ V$ N2 Y( Z接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。# U- ~' Y  H1 G" J" G9 r
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
. d3 D( d% S' k5 Q1 I& a& p8 n( KHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）$ n- G, J) F8 E% A
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）; e+ K5 H& L1 }7 Q$ n
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）; ^8 p4 X6 |& ]# m3 l+ Z
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?% v$ T. I/ b8 ?# R" [
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）% r0 c5 i# Q' D0 }' p3 Q) R8 B
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）5 z( @1 H8 Y5 W4 f$ J% R
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
7 m! b+ Z+ f) {, Z/ c  Z2 aHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
# T: C; g! y% c" `# i1 K, uWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）1 {8 H. r% z1 c* m! F: M/ G1 _
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
) b5 s& |+ w6 V/ ~1 Q7 n（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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4 L& o) w1 i, @9 C8 m# M. D总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……