《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。9 ?' ~: A+ Y, X4 Q+ ]: ~  K
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
1 J6 R" Z# |1 p2 y1 m9 Y- w4 AWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
% t# b" b. V% ^0 E- i* UHolmes: I just picked it up.3 H& }- h& g/ v4 k" q7 D" Y* Q
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）0 ~  I; w# r$ M9 t# P3 p. I
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.5 M! F  [" y8 b1 G+ S  ?
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）( ?1 A2 e) }: f  y8 m
Holmes: You did.
6 s& o: v+ L* }# }9 q（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
( r1 H! C0 K/ |9 c, L9 D) E* h6 uHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。. b9 ~! j8 }# R1 D
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
& U/ q3 Q! S& N( g: H' m) {& @! mHolmes: Granted.
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: P" L3 m3 J; J; ~- ?+ l晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
+ K. Z3 `+ I  E7 v1 n5 s; jWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）9 l* @5 `, f$ {; e- `' g6 X; P
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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  W& J7 i5 a$ n3 f9 ]  pWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
$ d# b( \( {4 u2 @4 ]Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。0 q$ O! R& K- \8 r) i  y6 a, o
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$ ~2 j6 m. R( B9 D9 K8 aBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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( o( _: @% y. j$ D. w3 SIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
  Y/ L, m3 f- g7 e' j/ e5 {& c# S（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）# l' |  u6 e/ P" Z6 G8 p6 Z9 f" H
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
0 m9 N8 i) J. mHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）5 k  J) f8 q: M* T% ?
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.! g; ~5 r* N9 V/ V2 b0 g/ L9 j
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。  \$ s- N) s) N  a1 `
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
' f; [! l. ^) u5 bWatson: Get that out of my face.
! w+ S8 X* z1 ?" i8 ?) SHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand./ D' k* x6 D2 Y( f
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.* r+ ~) Y# y8 f7 R, e/ O
路人警官Clarky上场。
! Y/ D% O. ?! }; W% nClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
0 Q6 w6 G1 i+ ^6 ^3 HHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）/ j6 D  R( {) y! m
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
, D& M9 I% A: x5 f2 xWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
( t. J" I2 g8 L- b3 WHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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7 R9 W# g) K! d墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。" Y9 \( H2 @" \, L0 a- I, B
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
( j9 f  s& u) m- I- D0 aHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
$ E; a1 n% R7 G/ ?$ c- PWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）7 Q5 v& T- X# O" o  W
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7 q2 T. o( o4 ?4 ~  v河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。6 h: V9 P5 U- h9 ?
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
0 g3 ~) h8 y, A1 x3 ?+ lBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…! I2 E4 ~( X6 _. m6 m, R' p
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）4 T' l( o  ^! N9 |! I) u; z  p" t
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。- ~2 A) r* q9 X$ S9 ~, b# Y
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）; Q, B, j5 j* b8 Y1 U0 |& M$ b  f
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。# n" n" L! e$ L4 W3 N0 y! d2 B
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）0 f* ]3 m& I/ g/ E6 M- y" T* G
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。" Q# d5 y. H. W- M1 D, h
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.: B* ~) L4 }& i, m
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7 t3 ]% a  w; J接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
8 N8 }5 N) o' u0 z话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
. U8 L* l1 I# z6 p& c0 CHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
: N7 z: V& B& W( k) a5 PWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
& S: Q3 o) r; ~2 t# |% w: j5 o2 EHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）7 u9 X- p# h! p4 P) ?
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?- e' }9 S* Z6 `- c  M
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）* @- N6 E8 f) L
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）1 e1 o+ D  ~+ [& V3 m
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）' F5 T6 u" z3 A0 @. F8 x8 [/ l
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）, A& I1 p# q; p5 E) f
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）8 G) x# Y# V! z5 k9 `9 x
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）* {* V' l3 M& q9 w
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……