《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。( c1 P, E: N* f) c/ A5 I/ k
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）& b/ \6 @, `: R- }2 l$ N
Holmes: I just picked it up.
4 _) z" X" y! D* cWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
# ~/ q  S+ R( W: }Holmes: Knew I forgot something.6 x9 S7 ?* e& Q& t$ [0 |
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）7 I1 N$ d! I7 [6 c- J8 q
Holmes: You did.
6 z& L  o9 j9 z# @3 F（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
* m& F0 ]& v9 e& F: ?Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。5 V: D& x. Y5 [9 m! C% B  ^
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.4 g( d. f4 c3 g) k2 t& S9 ]; c
Holmes: Granted.9 t) h7 k) C+ ?; b: ~
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( }/ ?1 N9 M+ n7 Q: Z晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
+ P, _' K' e" U- R, x/ MWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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6 o: |" {5 {3 ]7 q+ m) A3 i拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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7 `6 t) @) B! ]% h3 l" ?9 U: uWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
! @4 z! L, y* e: ^$ O* o4 e; `Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）; l$ c% c. r9 r2 Q" i+ S
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+ B; {6 l& S# q, F8 R) CHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。; I' b* m* N  g2 a; I8 K/ C* g
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
, H  i0 t4 Y5 P（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）$ @; q- V2 W& y( t# Y) e! v
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?5 n  ^, T* {3 |6 b4 G4 G& d
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
- b1 `% I0 o7 H- {$ H+ E! y' gIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.) {  a/ e( n; w7 B: r+ m0 m) P
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: v- h1 b$ i: |7 Z$ LIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
, z+ h9 ^, Q- ~& l% OHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）8 u* R  H8 N# m
Watson: Get that out of my face." P6 b5 K. I4 ]
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
; Q3 T5 M( D4 p9 {2 O$ T3 ?Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
9 k. F# E0 m: Q1 K路人警官Clarky上场。3 c5 ?4 w$ I& R5 u2 K
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.9 P- w. M$ r5 c# B
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
2 H2 t$ l: @+ i得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。4 U. e5 D/ t3 C7 i  C" y8 |
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?( H2 {5 a  ]1 w8 i, G) y' @3 s$ z+ e
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.9 d$ B7 y/ q7 F
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+ |; ~# g1 W  J% u! G+ k墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
0 a9 r3 O+ t5 ?- S+ o: B, R/ H（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
/ c. F2 F! w- UHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
/ j6 {; o- q. i0 mWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）2 X! d$ b. O3 J" m( D: u* R
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
* ~" t( R7 ]% }4 v9 i, n2 J0 l% aHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）1 T2 x  E! \5 M+ G9 N& C
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
3 P  r! m* Y1 gWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
" }5 x5 K* C# `6 o死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
5 b" s7 U$ M' {( @' _: RHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）, s6 |+ ~- C7 ]' p# j6 J! b% D+ h
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
4 y! _2 p7 z1 K% {( `+ s" RHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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( Q  T; Y6 ^0 n- j0 h% f4 Q1 g! W警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。9 j$ q8 `( {0 X3 \% P5 l0 T
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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& [7 H* v; W5 g; r& F/ h' R接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
- }3 G0 }; |$ `$ t话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。" x; b4 R. j$ g
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）0 e2 O* W- C6 _- b" B
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
3 Q: z: V; r% B4 rHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）5 R. ]$ Q2 k, h" Z5 B2 @6 c5 E9 C
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
( m' k1 g) F6 \. l0 H8 mWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
1 S/ m$ d; a* r5 h: `# oHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
+ b( ?; w: ]+ h- H+ }2 zWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）& ]  p* O! n3 G- @5 n) K
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）2 B9 M& W8 v& R% [
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
( b+ t; S. P% sMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
1 Z0 v8 S: B6 h* b! B5 m（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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# b7 n- I- r6 N" ]1 i总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……