《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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. {  W* X  w: p, H  M% D影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。$ o& v( Y- l. H: f2 u- v, d
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）- A. J, j2 U' [
Holmes: I just picked it up.$ d; ^# Y" K1 A2 V! R
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）, u5 J/ \( s* M- E
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.) a2 |% c. P) Z0 s
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）6 T5 R, M% }6 K1 D/ f& H4 H
Holmes: You did.
$ c3 P: a# ~) L$ i" E9 k' b（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）! p3 d/ H- k( M4 T# u
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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6 U0 e* I2 E& _7 \0 W6 c' F  w! V* {  u宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
8 D$ R" L! S0 x8 p& pWatson: Permission to enter the armory.  P4 e) c& O: w2 B; e( C! [' ]
Holmes: Granted.' E/ r3 d7 H% m& Y
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
# D& S! m# d+ Y( u2 nWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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  h9 M1 Q! e: `: z1 O  p! Y! r+ BWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
7 A) p# {* x8 C' }1 ^Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）3 ~5 x( K: j: E6 ^* v# l* o
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: l9 j9 x6 J* W3 C- xHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。+ t4 Y4 z1 C; x+ ~, w4 z
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。% O1 R7 ]. u9 M7 w7 V
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; W, `, [: U0 L. W/ h* @Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。+ g  w' Y/ y! O" q% M
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
" o2 p$ e, Z4 Z' j- [. R3 q' s8 @: bIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?. Y, n& h& G& R- _
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
- K* R0 S4 A" ~, }: }Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.5 n1 _) \! ^6 s0 B: u- F, Z
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. q) N8 w% x5 z2 b- @% M0 m% FIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
$ r6 t: L$ G( L' nHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
0 [2 l* m( [# J5 `) g: @Watson: Get that out of my face.2 Y6 X) {1 {- `1 Z
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.7 N1 `7 y$ o! J; a! `1 h: Y
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
) M& s" P! S4 ?路人警官Clarky上场。
# x) B  p! i0 N. f5 {7 XClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.0 `) s3 g+ U8 Y: C& s
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）# H" v2 Y1 C5 H$ x& r# w- m
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
: U$ y: `' e+ J) T) [Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?6 b: y# W# s  ?7 F8 J' f+ B
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
+ r0 }% O- N9 }! LWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）% ]- O6 A& D- ?1 P5 ?+ I
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% L1 N* B* z9 r5 p河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
0 L; G( X$ Y5 y- tHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）, }4 `& r& b, v
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
; x! w2 ~( J: L5 `# K1 n( |Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
: L2 M( @! w! t6 S0 e% Z死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。8 n$ D- ]5 G" B3 o
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）- F" |& I) y$ u' a  a
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
7 H* \$ c  o2 QHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。! B. x. y/ d6 R( x$ G1 ?
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.1 c2 x, E' l  @5 i: ?
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
# U2 R# i9 o+ G' P% s2 E话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
6 P8 q  R5 U5 j  r6 l: u% EHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
- M2 z: ^! D) |7 w* ^0 g7 t7 {Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）' P* ?, T9 I. @- B' U5 M" D$ u! g
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）4 g0 A3 P! y* T! k5 t
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?! @  v" m9 Q+ P6 G) E
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）; d( w/ F, `9 s" L3 M* P+ z
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
3 _0 c- z  W: o  N' DWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）, h8 D( ]0 y6 l) K; h
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）1 |7 L. {$ f( G! @! v3 ?
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
0 `7 w, I* L+ Q/ ?Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）" @0 t# Y0 |3 U3 X. i
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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$ T* k5 E. T) R* b$ s总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……