《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
/ i0 @2 c7 j* O9 N* A8 N- n; HWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）& z- A, D7 V4 ?7 _$ Y
Holmes: I just picked it up.4 Z' A( v& c) R  @
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
. \6 G( H/ m9 D4 n+ RHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
- F/ J/ H5 {$ u$ l3 V9 R( f+ `Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
4 Z/ D, m/ E7 i" Q# Y; v3 Y+ _% SHolmes: You did.0 V2 ?8 |& X$ U% {
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
, \) _3 O+ ?5 w6 p1 m! KHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.' Y& t* d+ B' T7 _8 \/ J
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。: `0 J- w9 z! P1 t8 V; S- d
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
2 r8 r( j0 d( l" ?Holmes: Granted.2 T4 p, O- N4 e/ M$ H: E/ h
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。, q. \$ V+ ^- g! {4 {
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）( J+ e7 |! n! K* k
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4 Y' ?2 Z4 p3 \! m  e拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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) B$ |7 Q$ {/ JWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。- m, G% k' b. N: W! N
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）1 U$ c9 R& ~- c$ G- E
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0 G# S; I5 C- l% h& Y  i) bHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。. d! g6 Q$ `- A. A; w: o
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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6 \9 U& k* ^, U7 uIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
& ]! N9 y0 m6 U/ a$ N( V* y# x（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
! C1 n, n) H( JIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?+ G2 i3 S( b5 u2 r  |' H
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）/ R: w. V4 O" H( |
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
) L8 a1 G# \+ n3 LHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
) k% d4 ]+ {0 A- jWatson: Get that out of my face.
- K' Z1 v( r( P$ L7 F+ e% pHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand./ C% T* o4 K$ [- M
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
' {# u' c1 ^" l. e. G. U. w路人警官Clarky上场。
9 u  q0 o- {3 v: `0 C3 oClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
' l3 P2 [3 A. |0 |5 u" nHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
- u" W) e& Q. r: w$ M得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。3 `) y6 m3 @& r/ l
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?2 _7 L& t4 U. y) J* U
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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+ u) h& `; b& N7 F7 [+ K( c! uHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
3 G+ w- S: {/ v/ A% m! \Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。% L8 ^3 o2 M; R# E  e- `
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
1 s& N$ n4 d6 u0 Y  m2 g6 V5 `7 P. i% dBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…- E! d4 _+ |/ t5 a
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
2 Z6 v- V% P7 @, G8 a死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。6 K! p+ c0 z' Y' k8 S) A
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
/ n$ s) e( e# r& G后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
$ D7 Y4 @7 @8 \Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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. f- h$ `& c( }' q7 j# g0 z0 `" ?6 V3 H警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
4 W8 e# q& ?6 r; B8 KLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.; _2 F, E2 k+ b6 u( t
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。& b/ `. p" b% z1 W# T: i2 G
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
0 e8 p: B7 j& zHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
5 L! ^) D  X  N$ X+ U6 m# BWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）5 ]1 P9 Q! t1 S7 D, I( K  Q
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）8 j1 h3 K; t: f: L- B% F- J
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
  b" l0 G5 B, o9 w/ U3 zWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
$ J) H: p" q+ b# ~+ wHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
" Z7 O9 u9 m! ?7 w. aWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
8 h4 j. {  j$ }& `Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）+ ~" F2 D/ f' R1 H4 B
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
; |: O4 J3 D( |3 {Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）/ ~2 @- v" l- u4 T1 R
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）. Y( g+ s1 \0 f% I7 ?$ ^7 t. i
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. a% q  @4 J3 C" S3 ^0 R+ O总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……