《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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/ {2 w" ~; o$ o影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
: g; B, s# n# H: o$ A1 o5 o7 R) IWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
5 D, i  h4 ~* `7 O4 OHolmes: I just picked it up.
/ H1 u* A6 b+ U0 g4 q& iWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）3 w, F1 n* B7 D
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.8 Q0 Q0 N5 f+ z/ P' B
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
1 ~5 Q1 d/ ?5 @% ]: Z, e! E" gHolmes: You did.3 D  g- B5 K. ~& W* N
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
; {) E2 S" S( A5 ~Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.8 l& v$ a# z& g+ ^# |1 ~
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
6 p$ v5 _/ E& J+ r0 o2 H2 MWatson: Permission to enter the armory.5 T* g5 ^; c. H4 C4 G) t
Holmes: Granted.& n7 z. q0 q# W
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
& I/ C$ y9 e' Q( X$ J% K- D/ J4 FWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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3 z# X0 ]% H" l- L0 i( \. q3 B# Z拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
+ F# b( I6 R+ e. OWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。( p. K7 v/ k$ N2 z+ N
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) C% e. m: I% M4 w4 pBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
* O3 L. G9 Z) s* b/ u. t（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
/ t9 M+ |0 l- M! \! i0 d; [; fIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
6 F( N" @) n& T' KHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
/ g, z. K/ F" L) ?" ^* K: r* _Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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; Q' S# J- ]: s9 N1 s% e! ]Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
7 l' h. M6 _3 [Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）1 r: Q. I0 q) T8 L* v( _
Watson: Get that out of my face.
; `! @3 L4 F' F4 B( {3 t' @# wHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.& m% K$ B: z( E2 R0 d
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
* [# N% |) M5 \. d  H1 i* e路人警官Clarky上场。, s* S+ z: M$ I; s4 {+ N
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
/ u. Y! i7 ]7 R6 dHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）6 S3 v5 t4 _# d: N! Z; K
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。# J6 T4 Y8 [# {2 E  W
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
) R9 c0 B# m: n/ JHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.# s! D: A4 I: F
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& @3 c; p' Q1 G3 }+ N7 f2 \3 }墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
( N4 p) @1 w# Q" c# o（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）+ m7 R! k+ @: r& U" v# R* @3 A; R. a
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.  L" p, |1 U4 N- ?6 \
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。. ~, x6 B2 P4 n( N' L5 d, m2 I
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
$ t& T3 I+ r7 c0 U2 P( e2 KBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…5 R+ E1 G: o" b. D$ I# _# w* U
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）3 Y; z$ l/ s) E; L
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
4 F# A! c- C# e4 @5 cHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
. E9 f1 B/ S: f  q3 {" G  |. n3 B后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
0 |0 O$ j* C  OHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）$ {5 y) P" i/ j* ?8 u
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+ Q* z0 c* \6 S- B3 y警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。5 C; r+ [9 X& ?2 {1 u# |
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.0 \3 d, }8 q$ n' u4 W
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9 f$ S4 C, L" r  q3 u. Y- W接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
5 \! K( d+ y: s6 |& M话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
( c+ J9 n! l  Q# {. }  N: wHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）8 D0 {# A/ v: a8 z- \1 W& @2 I; y" J
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
: Q6 g( k& _+ Q3 n. N- h$ I0 G7 iHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）0 T. i4 o, |+ t) n
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?% D8 |1 x1 y) V" o5 `: ~5 b. ]% j
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）$ s: e6 w! T, k. d5 C' B( g$ ^
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）7 U4 A$ N1 Z" |' l# R3 |- M
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）+ f/ B# |: |: F/ I/ l: k
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
1 x- }5 o% B7 d6 c) YWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
, Q8 V  B$ m; H. b! F0 Z& F5 ?Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）( ~7 o/ V5 r0 g* r7 v2 e
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）8 k% i8 }0 q* e/ \- T
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……