《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
  f$ `& O. T1 G# m" A! U***********
- }' D* P  U' r* C1．" \3 O8 f/ u7 s
影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
7 S- Y2 V+ H: GWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）/ s6 U3 g8 }6 }
Holmes: I just picked it up.
/ `% {- m" x$ e0 d, {Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
6 t" I8 T5 V# jHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
' J" }. f1 ]9 y- a9 ~Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）$ s+ k/ N7 n. }" W; e. k4 w4 a
Holmes: You did., M# d) D2 S( B9 B, }
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）: y' V: h2 b) A
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
9 M4 X; r& Q/ P$ x6 D% n" c2 U* x+ t2．7 l; n+ ?1 k) b% E$ [3 o. I
宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。, ~1 m5 F8 S) h9 p$ G1 p8 E
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
9 a4 K  q( J* @4 O3 k* s( JHolmes: Granted.. B9 ~* M9 y- l5 g
3.
- x; P: x& Z4 Y* B晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
% G- k& `5 R/ v' y) s4 n4 QWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
1 T6 q3 Y6 V. l5 W! d4．" H; j1 }  I) f* J
拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
( T% }9 U3 U* \- \6 B5．
& O: @+ K9 r! r+ WWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。+ z  l. a3 [! ]% l
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
" X, A, y" l1 B6．
' T+ W+ N$ ~6 q$ y* L. e8 ZHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。9 T3 j' m* F# y! Z( y
7．" g. A4 ?# \7 |9 `
Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
0 T) s# [) B  i. d( C8．- H! x" I8 T4 Q7 \8 Q0 y
Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。- _, k% H* l; \( H
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）, H3 a$ W4 R" t, `
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?8 Z" K0 I) C. V9 r6 i5 X/ L
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）/ T1 u& Y  P0 o) c: X
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.9 n1 T' f  I( G9 d
9．
* N$ u9 Y7 b1 \: E0 x6 G, tIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。+ m" ]# z. b! d0 T# J  w$ E
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）' t. z, h0 a, D0 ]
Watson: Get that out of my face.
8 ?& l4 Z. K4 v( M9 ZHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.( z7 E2 E2 ~0 s8 a$ d3 [, `; G" z
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.0 Q$ l- |0 q4 d  [; W' A, j5 j: C
路人警官Clarky上场。
. p5 |+ S0 G( s( |* @" u6 s! eClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once." y) X! F: o, ]0 g; k. B
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
. I5 E! W5 W3 O$ O得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
3 j) t. ?/ k( L. |5 W  zWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
* H+ ?7 X! ^  JHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.. q" c8 O% T. B' ?0 p; P+ i! P4 `
10.
& I+ ~5 \- o0 d( S7 N' j1 I5 n墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。" V( X6 P; u1 s8 _; H9 J
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）0 W  f. \1 D$ G8 K& f9 a5 z* i
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
) X8 X5 n/ _6 VWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）" R/ a; `4 A0 G3 g
11．! x) b2 }2 y0 `+ `
河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
6 d8 d! m' u3 k7 G$ g+ [Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
/ O" {8 F$ Z/ o' V0 U% mBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…/ i/ N8 r" U! _1 i+ [+ @* k6 T
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）& S8 {& j/ t- `5 S+ Y2 I, n. C
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。! R: a2 V; v* p: [- {8 {- ?
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）  Y2 L/ f1 n. d" D% m" M
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。9 B9 U3 P) c" g) l; T3 b& R$ \- I
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）+ v* z8 A- u% H2 t7 k! j; ^) A9 A
12．
: c& L2 R  m6 T6 k: @4 o# j警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
8 \: X) M$ o$ J3 L4 {! E9 h- ZLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.! j; _- R$ H% K# _+ J! [" \
13.
( @" |" Q5 ^! r( j% @0 ^接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。5 V$ d( k6 o3 z1 B
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
. n, k- M. L/ x; ~* DHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
4 ]7 L, {" _$ A; t% \' pWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）8 u2 `( B4 V' W
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
5 h1 s. p+ ?" q& x; `+ g5 P/ w6 QMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
9 }$ H- q* l- @* L" r+ f& IWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
: n5 L+ S2 f7 {1 \  J" V; NHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
& C& q* @: }6 {3 D# _6 B  f7 QWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
4 {1 [% z2 p* [% gHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
& u  F1 X- z$ WWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
" O" p5 x: h* b8 G3 h9 RMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
6 v8 f$ j0 A0 k" W2 }3 N3 G) _) K# h  L（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
0 f; k. f3 ^# w' P+ r$ B2 V; b- A***********
$ k3 A* ~" [3 ]/ t, f3 u总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……