《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。* J# P6 _) Y; u" z4 _6 k! N. w7 u6 X
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
  ?( G/ |+ S& c' ^. x% w5 @Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
/ u( S1 F- T& G* n9 vHolmes: I just picked it up./ A" j! `! e6 c# _
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
/ e4 G) H( [  n2 U/ S# MHolmes: Knew I forgot something.% F4 h) o5 W0 f
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
7 R2 B3 G( Y) o" ~Holmes: You did.  U4 N# e! o5 i/ {8 {# f
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
, X: G$ f; C2 QHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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, }. Z! I1 @; ?/ p宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。! n9 f4 I/ }1 \
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.# l! T  k6 v2 ^/ ~4 j0 a6 L
Holmes: Granted.
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- W5 n( B6 B: B/ v7 b% n1 e晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。( q7 ?1 I4 f$ N
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）$ V" l: H2 @0 |* z& X
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( @. _. U) v+ \拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。" D  E& x, t) h
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。4 C$ b9 [/ j% d! `/ i* Q
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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% D4 E$ h6 l2 w0 Q) y3 GHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。0 U* Y$ e/ T5 U7 w, j
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）2 V6 b) o% p0 G  L! ]$ P0 b
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?  \8 _$ \# K6 R/ `
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
$ `) @) t7 D) q1 \Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。+ V5 U" M- s- R( z: k
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
% N2 E" S+ i2 }6 i5 K4 tWatson: Get that out of my face.& c4 Q( W: t1 j  t3 ]+ j' t, q
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
  n: t6 u* r1 k  sWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
4 o' k3 k$ m# T  @0 b3 U路人警官Clarky上场。7 ]* {  D- i, G) ^# \% N
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.* J6 k1 j1 _1 {' b. W, Y' g
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）! p; T4 j( T8 [( _1 B
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。' L( K$ U9 G  l/ ]2 g
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?" M1 P: v9 U( y* P
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。/ l" r) ~  q# p- g
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
  f) B7 Q) i# @  THolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.4 K. E; Y, U5 _7 Y( h
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）; ?2 V7 U9 z  v
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0 d. t& O* N6 J河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
9 P& X7 \1 k- ~# l% XHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）6 T! T4 i4 K7 Q6 E5 e
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…" f, N5 }* D2 f1 Y2 B% U  W
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
4 g# F0 V9 S( ?0 F' O+ [# d死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。& Z% y2 t2 D' V
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
7 x& T2 s* f) a后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。$ i2 z+ C9 j4 o% U$ b9 m: E
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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- @* g0 x; V) w! e3 C7 \警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。* E/ ^/ C0 I0 s7 L
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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4 {! a# [6 T9 W0 H0 P- J接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。6 H' e+ M: ~  f2 K
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。7 n! T5 `$ s$ H0 w
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）7 U( e$ g7 G8 D" {+ y
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
& ?9 z" U0 i- x( R9 x! B* q' u% IHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
" k8 }3 I' i& V$ I+ n$ x0 J! _Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?6 o# }) z( l) ~" f0 g# b) o! l, U# j
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
% \& M0 Q3 y; w+ D+ G, E4 tHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）: Y% @1 N% w9 J3 \0 S* o! Y
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）& j& a; c0 L/ V' v
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）' k2 A4 R2 A3 `
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
0 C2 J( `; g1 {Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）- O0 C; Q9 f: L" _) Y
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）; Q: z' Q( k, v: v5 T( p' \
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……