 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 ; ^! g3 G* x& X2 w
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) 4 x6 i1 s8 r1 e, O8 \9 c% m8 q- l6 [
Holmes: I just picked it up.: V" A: l/ n4 k; g2 m* L
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
6 b% z7 r0 M( z8 n+ |Holmes: Knew I forgot something.7 S3 V% N' Y- B3 L
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) ' ]9 z( ^" b1 o ?, N& i6 Z
Holmes: You did.
1 g3 d" V' w# W% L(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
2 p# \9 w1 a. ^* ?; u' B' f. F; AHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 " C$ E! m; D$ `; z {. c
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.' g( M2 b+ p) u* {: ^4 P1 _
Holmes: Granted.
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5 @0 l1 @* w( Q6 S晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 ; Q. G6 _, B2 ?* x9 i1 F
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 ( Q6 \0 G9 l% ^* _* Q
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7 K9 N) _8 A% VWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
: M1 P) G0 x2 i* |0 P" y2 mWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 3 [# h! K4 c- B/ w( X
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 ; F7 _) f" a. Q& E
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 ; s$ m, b% b8 w: q
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7 N8 c5 Q) z' M) RIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
3 B8 s0 R% {1 j& J( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) ! w8 [2 ]# r( ^7 y
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
# O; _% C2 [+ Z; t, [# O& z1 RHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) ) N" F: v, s& w& K0 g2 T4 O
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 ; W3 s L d0 ]7 T
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) " x8 B* ]% H/ S/ `
Watson: Get that out of my face.# H+ p1 m T* g
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
) t8 L$ d' n0 W2 O- ]Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
% L9 j+ E9 G" L( b, _6 S路人警官 Clarky上场。 8 ?8 l1 a; Z, K9 J4 A/ ~
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
" Z% T: c( K- C# n0 d: C7 D) ?% v5 AHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
, V# C+ o3 s, O" r2 @得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 , ~! W4 `: }6 g0 k
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
5 G2 q) n/ j: Y/ bHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
9 K/ P) }: v5 z7 s( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
: [! S% ]" R+ Y1 uHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
$ D. x+ g; u0 @: i. ^Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 2 X+ l7 V, F* D. k
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 0 R0 u5 m& R. k2 c, z& O
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…6 k4 {" B. I0 N) C
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
7 l7 l, F" W6 s5 e死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
. P- V# b; q7 g; ^/ p' }Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) 9 K6 A+ I# V+ r: P' y- u
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
/ D' u% q z0 K& z5 @! a; vHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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* k0 v9 I. Z' p警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
: d5 g: c2 f) r8 \" V/ V `, {Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
; m& X4 e( |9 n, \+ U' t话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 6 h/ U4 g8 M/ `0 O9 l+ Z" t3 U9 \
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
2 h% M6 Q# {: D$ vWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
: X$ Y9 h* s& ?9 r+ m' F1 A) q! J" XHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
2 T! I' }% {# C" s; ^Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?9 e4 i/ G% A. S8 @7 ^! M8 P1 Z
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
2 ?2 s2 }& v% O) R4 @5 m* ^Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 9 h+ @1 w4 h v: v
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 6 @0 q3 G3 w1 ]9 J4 W
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) $ r1 b2 r* O. M. s
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
+ L- ~/ Y; l0 ]2 j- n$ H) zMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
7 Y9 y: X4 D" X( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) \! P6 l; _8 L; g; l: Y( r/ N4 R
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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