《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。  Y% `9 E# p8 o( o5 N; I
***********0 b6 w0 V  h& m( c
1．2 W+ v4 b# i, }! n4 W
影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
2 S" o4 v; X( ?- S- v7 M. M: bWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
6 Y! y# |0 \7 I; ]8 E6 VHolmes: I just picked it up.2 d2 {6 P2 U1 z* k. \. ~- v! q
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）( G" W3 d* Z6 S8 {" Y
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.* |! U5 }0 R, O5 F: K
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）" [" D0 t6 P& F% Y
Holmes: You did.4 i+ d5 R# e0 \' `- c2 j8 G
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
# E0 a9 e/ T- `$ |Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
3 r+ e+ G% u( n  c. \9 f3 v0 n2．
; d7 ~% ~/ D  \; K4 E& _宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
6 y1 H. S- \/ l% E! Y9 DWatson: Permission to enter the armory.' L, |" \; h9 }0 X- d1 b9 _
Holmes: Granted.
$ Y% S* Z( ~. z; R% k& H3 |3.0 N) x4 ~/ l  x9 |6 P; d
晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。' R& s  x/ ?$ u- G9 |; |
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
, J" Q8 C1 p. _# U5 L6 T5 N4．1 P! o5 q6 E+ x! g
拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
, n9 H4 c" p& b" X  q( t5．
( d7 u/ w6 A$ Q+ G: X" {Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
) Y' O1 y! b/ t, D. ~Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）5 S$ V3 l1 E2 E
6．
6 `  k" I" v+ m9 s, J' oHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。8 \0 n+ o* Y: r( h" J: ~
7．! I& S& O2 c" K6 d  N2 u. z
Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。4 z7 J+ e2 E- e* U* q2 t
8．
( i1 z3 q4 V9 p( lIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
0 D4 N$ c6 ]3 _（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
0 n  j3 g; q! ?3 g- N9 |Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
" Q% X# G% e/ M" D' G9 t7 |# JHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）: H0 r% M; z( a* x8 U6 [
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.- }. h! c/ c1 |2 n
9．3 m. j, S6 R" G) j2 _" m
Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
6 j4 N/ \# M; e( V# M, k* nHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）2 C& s; u% q# X+ m  H! y; K
Watson: Get that out of my face.2 l" z4 F. y! \5 S5 q' p9 H$ h
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
# o% Y, `. H/ P# g) tWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
4 R5 N- k+ o6 M( Z$ M, u0 ^路人警官Clarky上场。
. G5 a* Z5 U0 }2 C1 gClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
  \! O! B- R/ N& I( r+ VHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）4 v5 @- T, y% @- [
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
8 D$ o. j- ~5 ZWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
0 y' ~7 g2 I% Y' x5 O3 B; HHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
) p/ N. @6 L# U: a10.* S) y5 _& y9 I( ~! @7 Y# }
墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
) Q3 v* V& t  g, {+ z（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）( U; a; M% [4 F4 y+ L
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.# W; u% E7 R0 {2 Y
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
( t# {* e% W0 ^1 u- r' g$ X11．/ m. v2 f( ^4 h1 C0 X$ c6 j
河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。+ ^/ T0 q. f/ d0 A+ E- W! K
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
! P1 f2 K& G# T0 q0 T4 TBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
( `' R( B" s5 t( `/ g% tWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）4 B' }3 L1 I1 i: j. R+ y
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。9 m4 e+ N3 U0 b3 T: y
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）5 J. I2 ^; f: q' T
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
+ K; |0 P! @0 V1 x9 IHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
0 V! `# s* d/ B; s12．  z( r4 U1 t' a, Q
警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。& e" o0 k* C! |
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
2 G. d" q# G" N) c) r4 y0 Y, _13.
; O0 q# @! m& m( X; r接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。0 [& e, Z& r5 v! y9 k3 V
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
/ _( T- n! D- T& F9 B- Z- ?Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）+ f9 R: Z+ v3 c% V
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）+ @+ ?* l( h& |8 F7 C4 o) _
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
6 M2 i$ p* w# |' P; KMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?3 N, _! `5 R) e2 o
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）+ j1 V! l% T5 d- g. Y
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）' b7 T4 z8 p' R
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
5 z* G/ j! H) E, |Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
9 D2 G4 P- \/ Q) K* A8 @. NWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）  c) A# ?1 c2 g* ^
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
4 Q& {% M/ O. t4 p6 Q7 E（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）7 d+ `7 X( \6 ?3 _* y# ^; R# N( j
***********+ X0 j' K$ X4 E- G5 W
总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……