《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。9 b6 e. w/ H6 j; }  o
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
0 F  s% q% }# U& L% K% x; F& GWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
6 u- }$ i3 T& b  \Holmes: I just picked it up.4 [% h" r  B5 V& `: F2 d
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）8 d6 S$ T; f) v: e4 F2 M
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
0 N$ G8 J: c# t7 k  aWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
* _# Y! d: I9 M9 c  K- b/ O5 }Holmes: You did.
$ V8 J4 b* d) ]$ O（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）, b2 S7 Z+ u4 h2 `; L
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.! q: [# G9 y% @$ l& x/ m
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1 n- V  o) b) E. S! Q% S/ l宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
& @& q6 b5 U% X1 F" b, \. j! F; p; aWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
7 p/ u5 e: R! v0 G) f. rHolmes: Granted.: S& k! X+ f" Q: }5 b6 i( N
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  @7 e( x6 c, ^9 t; V晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。' T2 N# R. F  @8 l" n
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）2 d. l, _& r, m
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
- I1 J% u! g7 y! j/ M; A6 ~Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）8 u* G- N% {3 H/ b
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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; p0 K; a( I8 I& OBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。) a- i1 T& S0 J* m, z" `& N2 }
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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/ W% Y* j! x1 q. n, {Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?, B! s, ?! Q9 Z0 N# M9 T
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
: L5 M$ p$ l7 N8 x# `- M1 dIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.1 U9 @3 f: w* v7 e# x- i
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2 d8 c: n" m: a& L) K6 vIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
. w( N3 |# {1 ]Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
& B- d! q  Y( i$ v) _/ p( E; MWatson: Get that out of my face.! a6 C/ C7 s* J% o: z
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
4 r+ G& R, Z: l& J+ }) r- ~% o& q2 VWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.) e( N: Z( I) ]) K+ ?; F& J! q3 ?
路人警官Clarky上场。
* q% m/ u* o' _" z" T5 n5 MClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.# A' e- }  p# _, x( e
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）2 s9 ]) d, ~  t) E
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
* w+ }- s# K: x+ CWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
/ I3 C+ N2 g1 g/ [9 M2 |3 {& i4 cHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.- Q% Q3 n* t8 e2 F* c0 D
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5 b* o, h& c  M# @& O墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。4 L; p8 M2 l. w  }7 z1 a: e" g( e
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
9 R" k. ^1 l3 |# Y7 PHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely." ]5 ~$ k4 |9 w0 {+ _9 x
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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, ?! _2 _( X9 e, U! a/ U% W河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。' A# l, R4 T: J! i/ M# D" N
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
0 D* o. v: C$ _1 ~Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…1 S8 _: g6 w1 _5 |( p' Q" k
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
6 U4 ^' \2 _7 g7 `7 e, X死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
1 Z0 D- m# q2 E( n& ]  l. [Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
! b7 L- g/ k% b5 [/ b$ S8 Y" o后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。& i, B& O, H8 |, x) e# ~
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）9 f# E, H, N' ~; \, V8 c
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9 i; l! y* L4 J1 p/ j' {: y警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。- l9 I0 R+ @) h! V
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.0 q3 B# |. R, x+ M1 V
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# E; g1 ~8 F: \+ T: m接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。# j3 r! ~- X, H( d
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。& c: w( X) K; v; [
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
% G- b8 p8 K3 B0 VWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）, c& O/ j& S% u% b) X; O
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）( H8 V4 K! }, S! x! ^9 x3 Q6 Y9 c7 G
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
' `9 s) T, N! i+ ]Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
' s* w8 h' U# H3 @; gHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）& {6 A! ]- k& O: V8 a  A# y
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
  B" {% k- T3 }- D1 bHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
+ E  Y$ d0 D" G/ n& H  |Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）5 y. ~- K1 k" @6 }/ D" Z2 P- s
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）6 m# b$ R/ K# s2 ]3 ~% t/ P$ O
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）. Z7 P; ~/ m* ]* s
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……