《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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8 X4 C% [7 J( j% H影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
) `+ U/ Q# Z; X0 g8 ^6 @Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）+ B- A7 _: a& C! ]% H
Holmes: I just picked it up.) P, @0 x0 ^' s; h4 p
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
2 i: A! A/ g& I0 i- \Holmes: Knew I forgot something.& V2 @/ ]5 o) u. J' z( G8 z
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
( w0 [8 H( d6 b% VHolmes: You did.
! ?4 s  e9 N0 t5 C（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
( _, e2 S0 B, m# e- u4 {5 ~Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.& u  k  X+ j' G5 x2 f6 m
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
) e  w) L2 v+ j4 d5 U0 B' c% F. jWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
" P+ x# N5 I9 VHolmes: Granted.7 }6 {: a! j( w) y9 `* H  L
3.
; O3 G& b" ~1 G$ Q+ x9 X" `晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
' I: ]* c$ w# e+ C0 W* B, YWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）! B0 \6 c- c& l% Z0 v
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
1 h  \$ x% H, B0 W, L) I( DWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）# r2 G( e, c' q- u5 l) D( d: Q" A% I
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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* W( R0 r0 Q  l/ ?  b* r# ?Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。3 Z' J# q# h* t
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' f3 \' X$ p: g8 l5 c) zIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。; [* ]8 S& z% z8 y/ K
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
9 W! U6 D+ |8 g0 _Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?& C5 [4 T* N8 A, X" `5 S1 R
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）% l$ ]: U# l5 p. b6 `
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
' s" Q4 t, @! n8 lHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
/ }/ m3 e# m; e# W2 c& n/ j  C1 sWatson: Get that out of my face.
* |) @3 @; ?8 N: q$ X8 wHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.  u/ ~( f' N3 ]8 a' a
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.% a' M6 [$ K2 |& B0 l5 e  M; y* V
路人警官Clarky上场。: X! C, [0 r( \5 i4 `
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
' i! d- G( y" s7 [Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）) f  z6 \$ ^, r8 s, `
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。9 i2 ]6 j+ |9 I& H0 j
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?6 _' O4 f, U( t0 X
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
; e6 c7 E. ^0 i. S; `% B; c$ v（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）6 c& o1 i0 q4 N, d; ^8 ^* R* W
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
$ x) Z" g" D) U1 ZWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）/ Q  U5 B8 E, z; S0 @
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; h0 k% {5 e4 w8 f" @, _' l/ D河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
" p! G. d4 \; w8 f- `% vHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
$ G# S4 \$ u& B/ Y: O8 I$ @9 X, W) dBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…+ f7 S( a0 r; X- l; h+ s3 E0 p
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）/ b& t; f( s* L" _# {! m
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。! t: ]9 l* W$ k8 P  n
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
- D5 k& J) e9 J1 P4 @9 T后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
% m) h, E) f+ _3 S( r8 U: }7 J+ jHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）9 h( R* g9 |2 [7 o
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& N+ R9 m/ y* W7 X* q警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
  O( M0 F7 D; X* n, D* m' PLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.! L: o4 \+ f: {9 b* I' K# _+ w
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
/ }% ]" s* q3 K+ D* C1 t话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
' s. A4 e8 U- ~- N8 S1 I* zHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）9 x, ?& R: w, o/ M1 X. x9 U! y/ }
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
  _1 v& |5 N) I& yHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
" f3 V3 D9 X  X8 H1 r; p" pMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?: H3 B3 s" C% }0 V+ n0 V
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）1 t3 s  L4 N: K2 `- {
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
* [. I, W% R. m' \$ ~1 oWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）- P) u# h7 ^9 _( k9 {+ {
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
& Q; j3 U% X9 Q' T( w6 KWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）. A/ c! P0 u3 x
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）- N$ T4 v/ H: N3 g
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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& {* K2 |1 t4 U# e. ~. v8 k总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……