《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。! _  h. D/ V# o- C, N0 h9 J
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。: X$ n( v$ p3 Y; T% Z0 N
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
5 V! c3 Y' k8 j0 a6 ?3 C0 F. \Holmes: I just picked it up.3 r+ q' {% a7 F) M$ G9 m7 X9 ?% E
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）; g* ?; ^5 F8 Q! j
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
; i" F9 a6 c- oWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
$ S& D$ V  T! P2 lHolmes: You did.
4 {2 l! y8 |9 I5 c' s0 ~/ t. E（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）; K" \3 H1 Q* g2 c" K8 G3 d
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.* W1 l1 B1 Q# [- t% ~  p( w
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。) K* b6 W# p( g8 s1 m
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
2 l% M' t' \* G1 _" e; [3 L3 Z* K- AHolmes: Granted.
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" p- U. [1 a! ~晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。! J1 E$ J0 A7 M
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）4 G2 q1 K" g" m3 d1 ^0 R
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。) h; ~9 M+ q* O. p
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; Y  G3 |5 b. r5 a7 I5 x( bWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
+ ~, n, J1 w/ W# [+ x/ ^2 {Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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: A3 p$ l, K- SHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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  k1 ^( v7 s  u& c; q9 d2 T$ _Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。- y7 C6 f' ?* Y/ E# n5 S
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
0 }# f3 P% m: }% r1 a5 Z9 _（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
% [1 w+ G7 D8 g2 J( y0 IIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
8 `- J9 R! f* z$ v  gHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）# B9 p- T: E7 p  p
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope./ F' w; O- c. Q% B! P, `: H
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。' t3 F3 j$ J0 \' \! r
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
! {/ \& D- F) o( {& d! kWatson: Get that out of my face.5 n9 x' S! q. x( |! p
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
6 P- z( j; h8 ]5 c9 Y# XWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
* ]: `* X  |) w2 `1 A路人警官Clarky上场。
1 U7 Z( M2 ^9 U/ C  g3 fClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
- s9 ]  t# e5 f& I4 L2 [Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
' t7 r, ?/ `" L: I6 V( X得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
. B6 ?% K3 }' Q$ H5 {& kWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?( W/ e; c3 U  Y) X9 q; |" C
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。7 C8 X3 r2 I8 n1 S; W; D: ^
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）! S9 U: v0 C. O8 R% Z1 ~
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
! I3 w) f" S& J1 ~1 l2 DWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）6 @- j) G/ ~: t0 |
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
) J* H. Z- B8 `9 m; U$ F0 L+ AHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）- i- \1 k& [5 R9 t1 j
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
4 S7 X1 s5 G+ LWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）% w4 A7 M) B3 f+ D5 p
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。/ {/ F. q1 E* `1 q0 ^  O: M
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
+ ~" h. P) A% E& m4 U; k# u0 a3 V后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。/ V( ?) z. K) z( R0 ]  H
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）5 ~: ~$ `! i) q8 B0 \8 I/ {
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
: H6 E+ z4 O$ u; _Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.0 h) z6 w$ E+ r: U6 Q
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& z4 e3 e$ R. l1 g  w. s接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。3 A: N7 @6 P% C6 X
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。# M* v" O( I! ]' X& u
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
1 F- ]) z  R+ w% V1 f4 d0 W9 AWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
6 ^: e  a/ Y! l' B1 nHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
( H/ D4 y$ x4 v4 n( qMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?) u( v9 k% e: R: \! R5 d
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）5 Z* A8 m0 ]6 k7 ~5 {
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）" F: [. D2 {  J% z+ Y& ?
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
4 h) C+ r6 C9 Y( EHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）$ Q9 V: Q. x0 Q2 s( g1 r
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）9 r3 h7 }' T/ o5 v$ C. z& E
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
: u. O8 ?4 f/ {' D* T2 C" n1 f（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）& z7 E3 @: c7 E) L
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……