《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
+ R/ v  M  {4 M) XWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
' a0 @) ^5 G9 s7 o7 W" ]# K2 dHolmes: I just picked it up.3 W/ ]( w" g, i* E' @$ ?
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）: T; o4 v; a' c) q
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
3 b: }( r& I1 F7 rWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
# B, t2 ]# O, n. I! z, bHolmes: You did.
+ \/ I: X) w4 E9 p（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
6 W' s+ G6 C: j' |. l% ]. gHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.6 O7 x. [8 \0 W$ O; j0 n
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。$ J- l/ o, D7 ?5 j" `$ q5 U
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.5 Z+ M3 v' C8 D: q! q8 c
Holmes: Granted., U6 N. b+ \4 A$ ?9 [
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! v- y$ K7 ^' y3 ~. b/ j晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
- S* d4 `5 u8 B. J1 Y+ ]& _7 xWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）4 E, P6 g% r8 F4 z$ Q- ]8 v/ r! `
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2 ^' t' s7 F0 g- K/ R拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。2 K% K% u. I! f8 |* ~9 |; `: }
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1 U. r0 S+ q7 _0 _, v, V0 E+ g9 kWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
$ I2 r( V( D+ O5 x( \5 eWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）) O: A. ~# W- I+ p3 f$ I8 x
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/ l; z$ e- J/ e- D9 \Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。. Y' k1 I' z5 [+ n1 v; w
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/ @; q2 M$ R  j+ |( \Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。* @/ r' Y/ G9 x/ T% ?; D) _
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。% E2 x: Y. c/ S7 e8 e7 t
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
% v4 z7 A4 J+ v$ m0 `; tIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
1 ~3 V) n  o  PHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
, w% }1 S8 \2 W; g# R/ P8 HIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
4 X- y) r9 D) y+ nHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
8 O' A7 k9 I; cWatson: Get that out of my face.5 H4 ~" D) U4 F1 j1 T- `
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.9 V& k% m" |+ @
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
  X. k* {! _% q/ i# ]0 Q路人警官Clarky上场。
0 V1 m) H/ |2 W% B8 p" Z( TClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
6 A, g6 x, z, N' O7 a. FHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）% J; J7 ^) A* O+ G( X7 d
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
7 j! J# Q' q* W* iWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
, H/ C# N+ `/ O0 E" f$ VHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.0 e' o' b0 E% {4 H/ a7 `
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。4 s* h* ?. g3 O+ X" H
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
& {5 X7 M& S, j3 M& R( A' I& W# {+ \+ @Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.0 ^- ^0 B; f6 w5 R  V" o& h
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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1 t2 B& x/ _9 F& V$ {河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。+ U  w& n: U2 h% ~( F+ t
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）4 Y4 y6 \* B: N" \
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…6 k3 Q+ w+ s8 W5 q
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
7 T0 M9 e1 W9 ]死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。* i" Y7 l; y( n  j( n4 A
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）5 c: _3 m+ h+ {2 p; o
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
9 S. w( W4 Q( l: `$ T) EHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）' Y4 @2 z, O  i5 D6 k
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8 Z+ s1 R8 e8 d9 J6 A0 V警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
1 I/ X6 T& m6 q# c( gLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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' L4 ]% U7 Z9 K. [$ X, B4 F8 M- H# r接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
. Q% A* I& M# a9 d- C话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
  w- Q0 E4 i" yHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）  ^) B1 ?& E7 u/ d% ^
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
1 d& ^& R- |1 D! k* mHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
0 ~5 d! N3 u+ b9 nMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?6 r# A# t2 B3 ~2 l
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）0 `" J1 ^" y; `. O0 N0 v8 v
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
0 Q+ y6 w) l6 t2 m& h3 ^Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
9 N3 G8 O+ H1 P# g" a% ~Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）6 n% {5 G8 \8 K; ?) u4 X, t5 p
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
3 _; ?6 ]3 J$ q8 v- O" ]Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
, W' F+ }: C2 A! L5 S（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）  A9 [  e- Y3 ^* B0 O1 ?% n
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: `3 Q; _9 u6 j/ _$ }; u总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……