《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。! B' }: }0 ?8 _  k3 U
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。# ?% N9 F1 v, @" F4 s7 q. o: g
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
  N+ ]* e8 d7 |* e# PHolmes: I just picked it up.: o0 W2 A7 R: }( L8 X1 L/ `
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）/ Z& k. d: }6 _- I% `. a3 g
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.7 E% v. }! k7 t
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
  F- B4 k4 E3 z, H; THolmes: You did.
7 t% G" W6 X5 }（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
4 c: M# J( s- f" R6 x' FHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.$ u' ^) f8 S* T6 g8 _( y( ~
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。9 H. y9 I1 ?6 E' d! |  I% B0 p
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
/ q' Z( o- K  d, G7 w2 ^2 V1 W& J! iHolmes: Granted.
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1 f7 X- S' N. |' d, D晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
7 p# Q* H8 ^' {* f5 @7 [2 pWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）1 F6 a; V6 h3 N$ Q# ]% j
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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+ f2 g' g% B4 x7 p& f$ U$ cWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
8 a; c/ f8 }0 ~! w5 }" OWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）  E+ A0 a/ Q# `% _0 H" D* R8 U5 z: a3 U
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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% [6 _' u) C2 hBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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! V9 G# {* p  ?$ g# rIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
7 ]6 c. L5 ]1 O: h（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
3 N9 S3 t* L, o/ }Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
6 ^- u; [5 X# n+ c9 a  eHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）% P8 Q: `4 P2 x1 ]
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.6 F: @4 n7 ]9 b$ P
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4 u9 e  [# t. V4 m: T9 DIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
2 L. Q6 d% A% Q' ?" A2 q! h) b& gHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
& H  Q" h& c% V! [Watson: Get that out of my face.
% k2 h* `" K# @: |" I% m) D. t# ^Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.9 C, N& S5 ~+ N7 ^; c" ~, |- ~8 N
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
1 C& _6 q1 U4 {; R路人警官Clarky上场。
6 L5 R# f+ `2 jClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.; ~/ }9 j+ O- l2 k: i+ o
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）5 d- V. H/ _. G3 i5 _# n- F
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。5 ~, F( E/ v7 Y4 G! A
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
# j* m/ O$ ?& N! D; c5 gHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。) ?1 e) a' S$ {1 R* }$ c% P7 S
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
) M7 ?  V% t/ Z) n' Y$ R$ j+ rHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
4 K' s) `1 ~+ j9 iWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）' T  g7 H7 l2 A
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。) `! C( A+ g/ F- z( F
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
3 }8 [, K) ?  _5 |2 H6 hBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…" U- j$ Q# f, b9 b
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
, o0 B+ Y7 C* k3 T6 A. ]死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。! B0 f6 I( w" ]/ S0 C
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）- H: F/ G; Z7 A9 [* M) C% \
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
5 D! X& ]- `5 r! }/ YHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）9 V% x9 T* t+ M2 U# l2 |
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: |  r6 b& [+ ^0 [警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
" F) ^: P  B* _* J3 [1 vLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.# _+ w5 N3 n: b7 b
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( e; u  h5 [9 v% f9 s接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
  q, u  k# o! X) W" z话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
  E  J; P, e% f6 L4 b- jHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
, r1 ?: E- J/ a# mWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
8 J8 j; Z* ?, n" [0 u5 b6 i1 [Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
3 C2 [! q& T( e6 e/ |7 h8 XMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?8 L/ `* {% o9 k, ?, _: V
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
4 u, }/ P% O: x" N6 O! MHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
6 H9 p$ ?3 n' ^/ }Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）9 N2 r" `; T% X* e+ m4 M
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）- E( g/ f' L+ h, w/ j
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）  C# m, {! ~: T/ n
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
, s* D. }* R( h& L（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……