《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。2 s& h" t2 }, \9 w' C5 y
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
+ ^# l2 [, I3 K  V6 n8 RWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）% d3 O' J- `1 D, F1 x7 h
Holmes: I just picked it up.  q+ V; U3 h/ P! j6 Z" r( @
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
6 I+ u$ U( x6 @# O( h5 U+ V5 Q1 _2 ]Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
( w7 o$ x% D- S4 f# ^0 Z. KWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）* a3 _3 p# h" Y3 Y4 b
Holmes: You did.
( z! `; @1 F, N7 M$ h6 o（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）/ r4 |, ~3 l7 `+ ~6 u
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。3 v# o4 O& V' Q% ~+ X8 H8 ?3 Z
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
5 G2 C+ |& n( P5 JHolmes: Granted.  k' D# @& X$ W2 U+ n$ z
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
7 x+ z5 D: {; W) t4 ^# IWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。. ^2 k- E3 y* T
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( j* R9 M5 _2 @9 q  mWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
; q" o& ^3 S3 l/ r# }Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）6 m6 n/ z- R5 y! Q- d% s
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。  M0 y, ^- B$ j/ t. U4 U6 K" h' E* |
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
9 O6 d5 u3 G% z: w（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
" m2 M  h( f, v7 b3 P* dIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
9 H' @4 K4 s/ d. bHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）* e/ v' h& _3 p+ S' K1 U
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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5 }6 U6 b0 F8 h% a% _, I1 mIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
5 }8 u2 f; b6 y. [8 @+ `- O; LHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
) Z) [4 s9 [9 n# x4 H( `3 BWatson: Get that out of my face.0 B- ~: d" P) F- e  ^; |
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand." ^2 v8 L1 N  F0 d) e1 y0 d& q, `3 W
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face." v& x  g+ Y' R8 K" i% z
路人警官Clarky上场。2 V9 k4 A7 S% ?; s$ Q
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.: A6 w3 I) s6 f- r) [$ [
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）  c5 ]) p; A! A$ j
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
' Y* q: c$ n2 q) Q6 a) ]8 XWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
, ^$ K; K- ]4 z: {Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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. t* |, j; v5 m( E% J墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
( o4 ^- h& a( R6 a7 W$ ]（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
! [. j+ K8 h7 ?Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.: j$ d7 z5 Q0 Q& M
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
) F( u( X9 z' Q0 Q5 A' AHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）. A3 m! o3 Y0 A% ]# N5 {; M/ K3 k1 w+ G
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
# b4 Y8 M' P* i7 E! dWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
" v# t: d: h) N- ]* k7 \, q死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
' ]5 N4 U! W! @9 L+ CHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
1 j; i0 g3 Q' g" u$ r! Z& Z2 F后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
+ s( A% i0 a8 |5 I, u% ^, v2 bHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）$ r* W' I/ Q( D( p' h7 n
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* _$ A2 `) z+ o" Y警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
% h& k3 q% B5 h% |% N3 ^7 RLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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0 }6 @; W( E; m6 D) @接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。+ ~( @8 y) n2 G
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
6 \0 ^( Y7 v2 q5 @! j& AHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）/ m4 Q* [0 P5 I
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
- \( @1 y5 z( ^$ R3 {2 [Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）* Y, ]  u. n) M4 R! e, |1 d
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
) z1 |6 A# V/ P8 d0 e) K- Y& h  Y6 D: AWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
& ]  _. V0 A& }# b5 E5 K, CHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
$ @: u8 W2 I0 C% Z+ ^0 f6 \Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
. R$ }: [; d5 z* G! `Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
% ?3 V! d& p5 \9 [; T! W- X% uWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
! G1 S6 ~' G4 P+ wMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）  G4 B+ p( o% ?1 G! U* I2 G
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……