《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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! Z: @) L6 [( U, ^: S( M0 o影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。6 w6 D* p* y' q  I, V# p
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
/ V! V% Z: W; A# m: [2 ZHolmes: I just picked it up.
8 `2 k1 E, {- [) i' G( AWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）; ]4 S4 b9 q8 `! s. _- k0 t
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.$ {5 I! S8 M6 o
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）; F! h8 \4 S/ z1 e& ~
Holmes: You did.
+ Z! a0 ~: l; {8 V. m（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）$ ^7 l% t( `2 n  C9 C4 r* P1 S3 u
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.; o, K1 M# z, x, Z- z
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& b9 }3 |- G2 g3 w/ Q$ T8 u: a, b宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。* v! w6 }: X& G* Z$ I
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
& B' g# h% n& DHolmes: Granted.) s7 Z' q0 E. F' n$ Q
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。! H6 G/ \" ^8 u* F5 P1 u' Q2 h  c
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）. F/ {* P4 L* L& C& e' u. [
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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/ i, X, p6 s, y, t& `+ eWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
( _$ R1 l1 L9 A! ZWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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! N7 u8 {8 I" H$ o1 u, {0 \2 ZHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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1 N* J7 F' d& b7 [Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。8 ?, l/ o0 q- F. y+ p5 c* \7 ^; G
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+ m6 ?* o$ F3 A: \4 zIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。' X4 G, T+ R% U
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）8 P0 V0 R! b. u+ W
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
! P* J, b! M5 Y" K" |! b! a# t3 V7 KHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
. d+ D) t8 c! c/ E. q0 {Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.9 b( c" \, S8 Y# T' E4 F5 F% h2 J
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/ e6 e$ _! d! H0 ~; w4 G+ y2 SIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
! n+ \, Y* C5 m9 WHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
9 z$ a% v8 s/ w. NWatson: Get that out of my face.
* y6 G/ c7 e! h  pHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
0 j( F: n% ~! bWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.* {5 `2 ^  d+ w- ^0 r' c9 u
路人警官Clarky上场。
0 G8 C& L  m3 f1 {* Q3 s3 FClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
* ~  j1 [9 T: ]Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
2 K! G( P- ]7 G- I得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。3 p. H6 K0 G5 p& g, e
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
6 V+ w! @- L" V" \4 q9 x& \, cHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
6 g8 A) Q# U8 m1 S3 S（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
+ W/ [1 X; ?, M: l6 C9 {, |& lHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.9 r3 H* U8 `. i% T" [% T, b& ~0 @
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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* |4 }6 i8 c+ C. t河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
3 F. o8 F7 M: Y! U' yHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）9 T7 \3 k5 V% e+ F  _2 d/ g
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
6 N- l, M+ e$ t$ M  m1 x. ^! wWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
1 F( V+ t2 \. K9 c, F$ I- N9 L死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。; Z- y! k: B) o" {" m' t9 @
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）+ A% y$ f* ^) R0 M& v
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
6 M; N3 C' }5 u5 Z, F) THolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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+ c7 {' i6 j) E6 Y, J; O警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。3 G2 \+ G( b1 g$ e' Q) `6 n
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.% S$ s4 W- k2 ]
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
0 v4 z: y$ {* B- R' z9 q: O# L7 K话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。; c1 G, r; N- d9 w
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）. ?  ?7 F# \5 ~; E" F/ X6 Q0 X
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）: Y5 ]& C: K; S' m! \
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）' p6 D' X7 f7 U& E7 O+ s- o
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?. E7 D+ t& m# d! h  l6 `4 l8 G3 P
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）7 b  }; u* b& Z6 Q
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
: ?* M0 J) ^  f& A$ l( ]Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）) y7 l; _6 m: s1 a/ n' H
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
7 O; x# j# q$ fWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）+ N) _4 ~7 X2 t! C2 Y
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
! m! L# N6 t" m. t, ~& k1 ]$ w3 H（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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" N0 j, y+ P5 T. p总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……