《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。: t: u9 n& m2 e, I! ?
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
6 V2 X, y  p. Z! }Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
6 y+ u9 g) e; u  }( fHolmes: I just picked it up.+ g7 X7 n& v9 U" U+ J; Z& L9 u
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）" r% j/ h, V( h* k' ~
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.0 Y( f. p, c7 j) ^: K- T% w& F
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
& k7 r: I# u7 mHolmes: You did./ x  Q# F2 a! N& [
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）  X" p" \4 {2 O9 x2 c
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
& _; X" r3 E2 U% Q+ L( X  VWatson: Permission to enter the armory.3 @1 {5 o$ p) j0 W6 E$ J
Holmes: Granted.1 Z; t- U9 B9 q6 y/ Y
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。3 b$ g' w+ B9 t: ^: ?1 D; o
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）  z) R" F6 R- F( W$ |% Z, @/ ~1 g  Z
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/ `# S  T; N& e# D# g拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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+ F' F; X/ h5 z$ E# lWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
" t% Z( U& d8 k* k" N' l& fWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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! ~% g4 |( v  w  `; Z+ b" p1 @/ }Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。9 N: f6 i( L/ \% T$ Z$ I/ X
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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- `4 j, r3 d$ W! dIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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; N( s7 ]& s. C* {Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?4 C( Q6 [9 F1 c
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
5 V' a# V: ~; g' s6 T5 I, VIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。% P7 M( R# F; l+ k6 A/ c& E: f
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
, N- f+ Q. _5 f  w* r) BWatson: Get that out of my face.7 D& ~" D8 j; U5 M4 A- j& m+ H
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.: m  E  l/ U8 z: S
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
0 K& ]9 z- j% Z. Z2 Y; Z路人警官Clarky上场。
) o7 x6 s  k, s3 o# [4 UClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.6 H; d3 f  \' n, \- u
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）  \' m4 y( I" `0 [. t
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
8 e' d3 \3 P% v; b! z% eWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
6 J5 F) z+ [/ a3 ?Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.! d# O  q0 F. K* K' \9 S) ]/ i
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7 y- O+ M, |6 k墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
' t( G! O, Q+ y; c（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）$ w1 X4 ]( ~; X. w9 J% z
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
2 Y8 B" F, ]) y; }7 q- r% CWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
$ Y; r, r! e3 @" A) }# RHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）. g7 h: A2 }7 V9 B
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
3 \# C7 o& O, }0 W2 A  _# C0 [Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）! w/ l0 k# Z" W' `  y
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。( b0 {2 Z& h0 ^/ [/ l
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）, B% ~* x5 {3 w0 ~1 e/ k
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。3 m. V& N( e: C  j5 V" t
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）- R0 a- U0 x! r* r
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。: e$ s9 ~& `1 F% ], N+ p3 C
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
) e1 p0 P, f4 }3 Y; k) U# X' G话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。& Z; w+ k1 K1 L' v; o
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
1 a5 v4 m+ W% V* i9 O9 t, JWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
' x+ H4 P  x9 q2 d# [Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
4 A4 ^( d: g; j" m0 bMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
4 I9 h5 r$ `) c0 o1 LWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
" a- @' s; ?8 B& N: L! wHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）/ L0 J% r8 Q* t0 I+ p
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
9 F% K' g, G6 H) D. p. |/ [Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）1 L& H+ D; }% D2 {
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
. o; b2 h0 M0 mMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）: u8 R- L7 f/ D  i2 e' V9 r5 v& `
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）- @) E  E. [4 ^. K' P% W& t
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……