《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。# F' P8 F' i* o7 D
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。% @, h% m9 o) q6 A) U* g5 U/ C
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）5 [. P. F( ^; `( f" ?3 M# e
Holmes: I just picked it up.
- i, p( o6 u- @4 u9 S, ?6 AWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
+ _" X" s9 H. ?' wHolmes: Knew I forgot something.! e1 v8 e) U) e  o
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）0 y/ ^. ~& p- U' @& q
Holmes: You did.% \: x* Y# p7 z9 Q$ ~0 D# S
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
2 P7 n* [+ `  P* w! o$ h+ y4 NHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.( S; Q+ j: V& r: q. V* g+ o2 \0 V
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) J+ `  i) D+ T宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。1 ~  z& M$ M1 @
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.& P5 l" s4 R/ t( r- [  m
Holmes: Granted.$ E2 h% |7 W# _* c  P% B* t. W7 @5 N* K8 A
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! q3 z/ }, c1 y$ Y晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
9 q- U8 h2 ?/ t; U+ a- A+ s% IWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）" t! _; ^  S1 s6 L
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4 {; z3 |$ X) G4 H拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。' y6 ?+ e3 J1 ]$ ^
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）; i9 a) {& v6 ]7 s/ S9 ?
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$ m* X" d) p( [$ I# C' e, AHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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$ D' q7 N) A3 ]# @/ AIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。5 K7 T  b% B  i  e1 e8 U3 r" I, f
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
! r# d) U" m$ KIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
, [% E6 U1 E/ z2 o3 z# V) @Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）5 Y: U  ~9 O7 J. _2 k/ v
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。3 P8 a* i9 A$ ^/ T5 Z2 K" B8 w
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）# |' O, _4 \0 g) R) U7 N6 s
Watson: Get that out of my face.
# H& j0 @& W( s9 BHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
/ \3 Y5 x2 d. D$ [- OWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
9 y- l" v) a6 ]& d; ]路人警官Clarky上场。+ c4 j) a, Z/ Z
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.$ F. i& W6 v9 I8 F& K0 K8 l
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）: u! W9 ?! C1 q. w# Y
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
, v2 H% x& q# |( T" c6 e/ W: iWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?0 s& P) h8 p' C, l! e- g
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.: c% m0 n' ?7 B7 e2 \
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) L& T, ~. D2 D& J* w/ U) r5 C墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。, S9 u& J! L5 e; ]! Y! V5 s- p
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
/ r* [1 Y/ J8 |Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
1 J8 X) d1 e# ~$ j# IWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
. P: _' y& h  \. \Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
2 Q# e6 z) K; V  f; \Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…; r* ^$ T/ H$ L
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
; i! `: I; H% K3 F* u死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。/ Q2 O1 t" O( Z! [8 E1 ~- E3 D
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
/ Z/ H1 I# @' r2 a9 M后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
* x  m' U4 v& ~6 l: q/ E, `Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。9 N/ B' w1 w0 T' R& I7 g: u( P
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
: z; @0 L; L; V) c# Y" Z& i; K话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
9 V9 J: K1 _) LHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）# \1 j: F' L$ G9 {. V, Y
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
+ U  d% Y5 [+ bHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）* E* a5 V& a$ F& r7 E, K9 J
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
- j4 l9 a4 Y3 U$ k6 _8 P$ rWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
, d0 Z$ Q, h6 i/ U1 r' M5 \Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
! L: V0 P% o# b% YWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
- ^8 _/ x% U$ T/ {Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
' l' d3 l% V, eWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）9 q: d% U9 y* B' E- E  {
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）% D  k  \# ~0 e5 L/ \7 I( q* n
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……