《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。# L# V% C/ s+ o2 x+ x8 T# u% [
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# c' i3 l6 g4 v5 a: C0 v影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
: ]  ^) v4 S3 b$ z1 j- sWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
1 \2 K+ W4 s4 }+ v: i& y) s. HHolmes: I just picked it up.$ S2 G% z, U% s5 E0 g' k
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
4 U- ]0 u) v! Q- J- p  vHolmes: Knew I forgot something.( ~. L3 J  L0 b% a+ S
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）$ z: g5 a% L& ]
Holmes: You did.
! s4 h5 B6 E4 `2 ?6 i（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
% W* ^7 S9 T/ bHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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1 e( h8 g) P+ G+ S宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。2 d+ _! Z+ H/ {8 A
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.6 Y6 K$ s9 Y) \  f* }
Holmes: Granted.
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8 n( N6 ?" y$ R  z1 d晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。/ Z2 m, o' c. h
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）7 X1 h4 g1 L& Z+ Z, \* h4 c/ c4 ?
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/ ^1 I( C! @. s3 ~1 I拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。, c+ s: t( N9 |4 [5 F  T2 X/ L. D
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
( p1 _8 M9 r& w* V% D2 H* {Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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9 t8 Q/ R3 W) W( L* yHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。  ~: i3 C2 K5 d! q1 l3 |. V7 ?( f2 s
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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$ Z" L! [# H6 ~* N2 i4 [: cIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。. j- t- a6 O. M
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）5 @; S5 h/ o- d6 P4 J2 o# F( A
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?0 a& G! U& @2 V1 j) \
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
1 ~* ]# S3 [* \$ D  U3 WIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.  B* B/ [. p* h! T/ `( O" x
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/ G9 j- c. c. DIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
5 j/ @& k: @& ?Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
% s. e2 a. Z! OWatson: Get that out of my face.1 B" x$ U8 |3 z8 {6 J9 ?& a2 C8 m
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.0 {% E# V7 [) U& \1 v8 i
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.) d% R7 ^/ [. G9 x0 E/ u
路人警官Clarky上场。8 @/ P  n, U+ H% O
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once., E7 j( }- u8 i
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）2 b8 V. c' n  r" ]+ y
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。9 c! ?: ?. v' P2 |, i  Y
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?* t$ s& Y8 \9 O$ J, f' C
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.. K( R: u6 w# ~8 V( \: `8 y# a! J# V
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' G( B5 T& M2 z墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
9 ~5 B  x! k+ U+ c. p1 J（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）0 c& k! C! f/ C7 H8 C- R
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
1 g1 R3 m. W! c4 h9 rWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）/ O& P$ f- i0 ^8 I% M
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  `% M) N- Z! ]0 \河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。0 E# Q' S5 \2 e! ]: X  s$ P9 u
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
9 R- D* E5 g7 h3 ^Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
0 P2 z/ j3 }/ v9 KWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
6 [! {. v  g& z' q, a死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
; f: N, y- P+ D$ s+ w/ ~5 D" YHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）, C0 q; \$ K7 O2 x( ?# {. Z
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
7 |* s2 j5 s3 L6 }4 M0 OHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）# K0 G/ ^& ]3 |. V% W
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。9 n6 S; h$ E8 }8 ~1 ?) R% l% z% a
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing./ F* n. E. y2 X( D, N# y5 I/ G4 ~: A
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- Q" N0 u  p7 ~/ r) u" ?6 _接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
3 D0 A7 T4 }4 N7 N; O2 A话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。" l9 X8 k+ y1 \  `, M3 b
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
2 Y) q$ }: c, I, lWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）8 u8 R: N9 t: N& u) L* N& y& _
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）' N, B% |! U; y- O$ U. o
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
: r( I* E! F* z9 Z. UWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
2 w- t! J* {! H) nHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
/ X3 n8 ]  m) f1 b* V9 NWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
3 V! C' ?4 M3 u+ @+ T; MHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）  o3 Q7 X* d# Q! g
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
* k* N8 k( O: y3 I& j6 nMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）( r1 w0 |  _$ r# P! a5 @- i- k# g
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）% t1 X% ^( g0 x. _( D4 L& u7 I- F1 \
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3 J+ O# X6 c; ?' K  g总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……