《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。. d" s( f' V( R( [
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. y, g/ ~7 [* t7 n8 P( T" ], |影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
9 @& l" B- y8 f6 K0 j$ TWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）4 M+ j0 c7 Q, S( [$ [
Holmes: I just picked it up.* T! y& u$ |4 }2 p2 {4 J
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）2 W) M2 s' V. t/ e
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.0 W( v" C. b: D8 `' ~' {! J
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
! T2 @  g8 a/ }7 w. ~( L0 G( c2 IHolmes: You did.6 k; ^) {8 j/ j  t
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）+ z6 J6 l6 c. B; p
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.  r- V, w7 l, s( x7 b
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。, R; q9 @+ v. q0 O7 Z
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
* _6 g+ }' F" x, w8 ]1 x1 FHolmes: Granted.$ j  C2 j- S' U6 V- F. x$ R. P
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- n1 D9 M4 e/ A! L' g4 L0 P4 r  w晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。. j% Y& P9 Z% r7 K% I
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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: v" Z7 \- I! ]: Y$ \/ U拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。! y, }" V9 r: d
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
' T0 f, E# ^4 i1 y" BWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）( R+ }5 Z4 u1 v! K
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2 J5 x  R7 z( ?Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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# B; ^1 y, i0 zBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。: y8 A0 s, T0 O" G" L" Q* ?
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
3 b4 a7 O9 M, j) T8 cIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?  o- o3 Y" t! h% _9 N1 G* H
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
! a7 l9 [$ H; dIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.# Q& ~+ P1 Y+ u* X* i7 H6 Q
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。0 s! }* d" {2 F/ z* r- L  e5 ]7 b
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
# Y% t3 ]6 ]) C$ U4 UWatson: Get that out of my face.% {1 U9 @# r9 X4 l! u) Y
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
- w" m* ~% S6 E# s# w$ n3 [Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
2 R( B1 [9 p  J# x7 v路人警官Clarky上场。
$ F: `  R2 S/ k( \+ I2 _; I2 O" KClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.8 a6 r, r/ ~/ Y6 E! a; \
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
4 M5 E& O3 {% ]+ ?4 ~; g( A得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。! S+ c4 q8 `: a+ j/ F& W" U$ e  e* L
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
& e# N* G, ^" r2 h0 w1 }2 \Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
6 W0 \0 {) I6 g（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）$ Y, O: O5 A' B. X; |6 p3 r! B, _, ~- @  ]& R
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
; y* f6 r/ I# h! t6 D  tWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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( Z, `% L& W3 C/ j2 g% B河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。  G8 t9 R7 D% t) Z/ y2 R9 r1 [
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
  Y; V# @' p2 E6 E" hBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…: I* P7 b/ I3 z+ n
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
3 A) e4 e* z. U1 ~; X0 l死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
$ ~, x  d6 B: _( o: l- FHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
0 K" O4 T1 X# u* r) q" ^后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
- u: T# s. n. t$ w7 JHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。! X, W1 s& t3 p, o1 `' Z
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.# y- ?! a9 u9 [/ Q$ h
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。) |9 j( v/ i- B6 Q- c" o
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。$ {/ O8 G4 S# i( I1 K* |5 C- j
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）' k" [  v& c- X8 E/ E- r
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
/ e) Z0 B+ s/ F& P) L( P- `; ]Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
. o) R+ e1 h9 M! gMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
) T/ Y% V& c5 z5 B( A' MWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）; p- B% g# P1 o8 _9 V) M0 b
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）- u* s% @% _6 `  ?* E, Y9 x( W( o
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）: j( Z1 z$ }' U2 t) u
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）" E4 M' V6 j/ G( N+ }, R$ x# ~
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
/ e9 I2 p9 [, q- b" E$ _$ T0 XMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）6 ?/ C; l  c; Y2 S& C: o
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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+ j7 x) H" I' b0 @总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……