《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。; q$ s; S0 \  r2 f( N3 I
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
8 `: L" S. x( T& u# EWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
4 ^2 [- b6 v5 PHolmes: I just picked it up.
6 i. @* u& {( Z, [Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
7 b) z( z/ q/ C7 u' D% i$ L5 XHolmes: Knew I forgot something.$ v0 O9 ^8 w) x  ?0 ?
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
& T* c1 X  W9 B1 b  jHolmes: You did.
1 K- ~' r8 h' v8 H4 l- N（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）! n% x2 ^/ e6 f% @) c5 P
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.( A$ G# A. r7 W: _. V
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2 J4 g2 a  u- I4 v  I/ V" j宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
( t5 m3 X6 z7 s& @Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
  a( f+ f" `) @( w, cHolmes: Granted.) U9 z, Q, S1 _$ j
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2 s/ k2 M* v0 q- E# ~晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
; j% ~2 p$ V0 `% OWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。( G* G# @- Q+ w' a
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) [" {. l9 v9 V) [4 kWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。: z: d" F1 t3 h  V
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）1 t) `/ {8 w  B& W: s7 B
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- |1 i. J0 e& r7 E' U3 n: \Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。( j: l4 I) n1 x- h
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; E4 Q* P. G* {$ n7 p/ qBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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8 [3 I+ G# _8 N! l( N6 z/ ?Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
; _  l- Y1 W6 b- i* o- P. g（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）& E8 w; ]4 g: v7 Z
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?4 ^& h+ ^5 Y% A+ D! N3 e6 @
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
2 G# O' A: f4 s5 M$ \Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.( u2 {4 n$ h, u
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
: j  r1 L" p2 L: JHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
" Z' ~7 z  B- v+ M2 r1 `! qWatson: Get that out of my face.% C% B, N. z/ X4 e9 {
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.4 }; D" ?3 w5 h3 F# W' M- m
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
. w) n$ V# a' L+ V; ]; g路人警官Clarky上场。
' H2 r% m  P, K2 \& I; [7 OClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.0 T! [7 h# t) f; v0 O4 M0 }  F8 Y/ ?
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）, H7 F* H  h' t7 B5 h
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。+ ^4 C! w: m+ @& |# d8 C5 q
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?; V# R  O% @5 [( G' {
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.1 ]/ f9 ^$ z1 i7 D
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! A" g8 i( ?4 y墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。3 f; m+ N8 {, V# U$ w
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）4 l: B+ h- u9 f3 n$ P( G3 n5 j, x
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.+ e7 q) d: x1 ^# g( e9 i  Y2 e4 {
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）; t1 g/ Q8 ?0 K. a6 r& b
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) R9 B% P. g7 D/ E: n河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。5 Y6 P( x+ I! Z2 D2 J( G$ L# |3 j
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）8 z: p% D" t; H1 B; i9 I7 l* T
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
- t2 k; n! g: U) Y; P8 i* bWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）* I+ b" s9 U& {- K0 y* Y' N: l
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。0 }$ b2 r* j7 k: e% w6 a
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）+ ^2 k; R# _9 v5 s; G6 g9 {3 y0 r0 M
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
6 e/ I7 ?3 h6 f* z: [Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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9 J1 F2 ]4 a" B# Z- n1 g. |; {% z警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。4 ?, ~1 _- I) _8 ]
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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5 z8 u  Y  _6 ~$ V; k$ R接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
) v% a& s+ N  J/ ?/ _8 ~5 E话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
( ~2 y, q; K/ C& R/ V0 ^Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
/ W4 T. m! ?  c* q- `: K, F' iWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
* d9 y# J% c4 f8 A) h6 V( AHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）" Q# r7 U9 ]4 q& Q
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
! ?+ C7 ]% V! Q9 v/ L5 D3 Y; lWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
: n" K+ `# l' j0 L) u# X' ]% u0 \Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）* z+ X: S) {- L1 i5 `  D) f( e
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
" y! V9 s& c+ j+ t$ ?* K7 d& D6 X9 kHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）& j+ l9 L8 L/ A- O8 @
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
) v9 s$ {) f0 jMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）0 s! ~$ h, T, H
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）5 _; s6 g5 C( u. \. A
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% H& c6 y' W/ L& \' P2 L( e! D8 n5 Q总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……