《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。# w) y. H3 f) C! e. r
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）* B" p* s: z! }% d
Holmes: I just picked it up.
1 A/ l, D  A6 v2 d( gWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
2 T  R6 F; O4 |" Y3 V( s' [Holmes: Knew I forgot something." m1 S+ j) z! G
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
2 L9 g- E* q* ?* ]8 U, zHolmes: You did.4 S0 _+ Y- ~' g  z8 c" u7 c% ~, N
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）4 p) i  Q  l# K' ^9 a
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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# q4 C$ O) e" i宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。4 s6 t- `, ?' H. R- I
Watson: Permission to enter the armory., e+ n; m% _7 \  y4 a( N& h
Holmes: Granted.  W2 r# T9 ^8 n, I
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2 c( M% {, d( u, G( A$ p晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
7 C4 }) O1 \7 DWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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4 ~1 H0 @! @7 s+ y5 U6 HWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。9 [) b& a1 N$ e3 D/ ?4 l: Q! A
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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' y' j. O# K. i# D+ w- A9 a# DHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。# B  D. ~! d& t" ^7 N% n: z
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
7 P4 l6 }- Z8 K- R（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）$ _! e# Q* |& n9 j" ?# ^
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
+ n$ q3 ?# i& A+ b8 E/ s9 eHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
5 D+ F5 x$ G3 a3 w8 F- wIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
3 B. u- V6 g1 g: E  v/ M' S4 ]Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）( p- U* r0 u- \) S0 a3 Y( N
Watson: Get that out of my face.
& Q" B% k/ I7 L, D2 d4 ], p( vHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
  T% {9 X/ Y4 x1 e- x9 Z2 S+ L" zWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
- m2 g. T7 J  A3 }! ?$ }路人警官Clarky上场。
$ c2 E8 v" c: C/ f8 s4 \Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
; U! M" G% D* l* x' ]2 uHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
9 [& X2 i7 `. c' }' x得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。4 V7 c3 r, G% J
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?3 z/ ]2 {' D- [7 d0 k( `: Z# s
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。$ K1 Z+ R" F9 S  D. Y7 o
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
4 x  @4 K# p" j* C5 c* eHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.! {( x! }6 S7 d
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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. N9 m  m) S2 j3 N  d3 m" f河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
+ f( ]- q' r4 }/ G7 aHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）6 @6 x. @) c: j3 Z7 p
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
, a& H- A2 [, HWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）! u( h1 D3 g6 f, U, y
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。8 Q& r" P: ^1 \$ i/ Z6 ]
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
% V6 I. f8 _1 p4 a" X6 ?3 Y后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
; ?$ d3 C# F* {$ i$ k8 CHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）2 p9 f) j# O3 h0 N. p1 l: F
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
' }- U) p2 |/ i! G) ?( Y! cLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.) Y/ [0 i  @% f; X
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5 w/ _' ]4 Z& |6 N* o接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。; }4 q) d0 q: g
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
# n. i/ m/ f" v; lHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）' F8 u, K. I+ [
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）0 t% B  J" X! E4 [; O  ?5 O
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）' W& q) g3 z% L4 g$ t
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
9 X" ]! k  V% T. H/ `Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
& O0 }3 W3 X+ z, f0 EHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）. {. r  p/ O. B' S
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）, _. X6 Q, q* T, O2 `$ {: k; F' Z
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）$ f: i& G/ W4 G9 O( f/ c6 i. U* N$ l
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）! W7 F, C  O: B; C; g5 j
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
/ d; J# ]2 q8 ^7 ?（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……