 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 ( N0 I- S$ z7 j
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 8 z$ `( u7 i( N
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) 7 p, I* i1 B; ]/ ?
Holmes: I just picked it up.
$ ~, O+ a# g5 L, z% t5 g8 ?9 ~" rWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) ! g7 X5 V4 c6 v5 T0 v( X
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.0 Z( B5 H1 F q6 E8 C
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) % @$ k" m3 N* J. b
Holmes: You did.
' f; m G8 [, Y' W* D) v(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
1 k7 j. q: s$ [! ~. Q/ k3 vHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
2 O8 Z( y% v" U: pWatson: Permission to enter the armory.0 V. k; n7 e; N: T# V) `6 _
Holmes: Granted.3 \; h4 l6 l, Z# h
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( v! I& I8 [' @6 M# }晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 7 Y5 I' V; O5 s; R: r
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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( E. a# ~1 \/ g& v9 w% L拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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" `( e# `& i& Y5 x P, W; zWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
$ O) w+ F( L% N( EWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 2 w9 C/ g* \' ~# h$ \! @
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3 g% a; i0 W% V4 p, K" UHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 1 U0 m. c4 k; g1 U# |# Q. u
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}* ~& N# H3 _& s7 z$ lIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
$ M; o3 t# p! q& X( D' v/ M( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
& e# l, ]% R4 g7 W* `Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
( o% C. P0 N+ ~9 a) n8 uHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) % Z, N. `; z+ M1 q
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
! j$ C7 Y: j/ ?! b+ q: NHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) . z& d. L1 J2 z$ h R8 y
Watson: Get that out of my face.+ [ y! w7 g; U+ d/ H2 l
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.+ K6 M, F9 E! P b- i F
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.: }" b% o& L' e1 a# T* V
路人警官 Clarky上场。
6 F/ J. c! T* o# C5 w) t$ aClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
1 W, j% W2 Z4 M, a8 _3 r0 F2 |! W3 t, GHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) * [" e5 Y( w+ X$ p+ W, M* r
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
5 Z; T5 x! c) a$ t L6 h" ZWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?" G4 m& z. X8 o$ G/ h
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
; Q! N. ?3 ?. [$ x: X! C( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) ; P& x! p/ f* R5 r% \7 M8 \
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.7 p" x+ V& @. ~! o2 K5 w! @- {
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) : @8 ~$ T, {1 E
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
$ q6 t- V. }. N. }' D3 ?( O2 PHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) / a* e6 d" V; t2 G/ j/ k
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…( ^! h! E9 o+ E) I. I @* w
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 6 J5 p1 `; I+ x
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 ! j# D% i# O* P3 S/ W, q' {
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) + }7 k2 P0 N8 G9 H5 D: l' q8 X4 i3 O
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 ( Q# C9 D" b) \ v& ?( q$ p* t
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) + ?6 k K/ J( h* ?( g
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5 }/ B) W5 h4 _' B Y6 N2 u警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 + y# a1 Z2 l2 ^) }/ g/ c3 @: r
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing./ S3 G# C9 q6 J. |
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
) |+ ]9 M+ o3 r, U8 D& p4 ~$ G话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
/ g- h. x+ q7 i/ d6 Y* s/ v4 O) tHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 2 F( ]9 M3 Z1 h! ], E9 [" C* W
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 9 ~7 s- k5 L+ i
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
5 P+ K7 n, k* J) S6 _5 Q1 r% pMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
. S0 T& u" `2 BWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
: ?8 |, x ]$ h+ K9 LHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
0 `8 P+ M: d8 JWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) + q7 F0 j- m' @ s+ A
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) : a; k( d, u5 M6 D" d+ d& `; D( t
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
* l& y6 Z5 Y( p/ Q/ i0 e5 {2 J5 P6 rMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) * m* J' J/ u A- y+ s* o$ H' A
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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1 G$ P7 \; V5 \8 e. K$ W总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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