《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。3 A: V( @2 p% `" d: d8 U2 e+ K
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7 p1 M/ l3 M" K( H( F/ y影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。* m9 R& ^' C. L* X1 k5 r
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）: h& N! q, X/ i$ Y4 g" m
Holmes: I just picked it up.
& m8 [5 ~. w5 F- r$ cWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
$ P$ E4 R$ {: T) ]! I$ t' x% cHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
0 ?* o. O* U4 k5 I; j" r3 wWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
* {1 R4 w& l  B2 O+ a0 J) D. YHolmes: You did./ S- X% E$ h, s, O1 q) v% E
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
2 k% _$ |1 s# o8 ?! \5 i5 M2 e& HHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.- G1 f/ y9 F# |7 T2 C
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。- M, E0 N1 b/ L* g3 A- |7 w( B
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.8 z( c  l+ N" ~  E; b
Holmes: Granted.% i+ A% ^, |) h5 A% t) c6 ~, L
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6 }8 L/ a# b+ u" `晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。- S7 q8 F, ~7 G: s0 J9 u+ ]+ ]7 D
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。& ]  b  d, N3 s9 a' l' {  n
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）4 W& o8 g+ B8 o# u) M4 G( y/ h
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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# [# s% i. H, Z& g" g% g3 a% pBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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  t) D2 x) w' ^* c8 YIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。* S" m8 b/ I9 _
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）, h* D) Y0 T8 d4 c' c5 v! a6 @8 z
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
  b3 a  \0 i4 ^% u+ `Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
9 h4 \7 A6 v9 s; H( C5 z0 uIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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4 N& O; ?) P' _5 t- c5 L( TIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
# {- s8 T3 \. W) g) yHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）- i% P& V% o/ F: W  s& N8 T/ m
Watson: Get that out of my face.. [. P' s+ b, k& A& H9 c
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
; |0 J0 d- O5 \- r! `9 `+ ?6 O1 [- aWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face., }% p9 Q9 e, c8 B+ Y' N. Y$ C
路人警官Clarky上场。& ^; X6 X  F" X3 {
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
3 b2 d! ]; m1 }Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）9 q# m! W3 j( A' y! Q) L$ u9 [
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
/ z% r$ H) H, s2 }, a" B" r, KWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
- X+ P* q+ \8 n% S# ZHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not." W4 n- O, G6 `8 N$ i% f: I; ?
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! {( Y3 t4 r. C. ~) |9 S$ a3 p4 o墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。6 i# q9 C( h9 r$ w& Q# {
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）$ }5 \* R/ N- X  [
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
! b4 Q2 {1 X- vWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）5 f/ c0 ^% S# w! C: h2 @- s
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
1 k" P! A9 b# N5 A: h! V' u: T) MHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
) V3 p7 `4 k' T% ]Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…" S: d+ `: e( Q
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）3 t1 o8 ~& ^5 s
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。3 z7 l6 T8 [8 j5 j
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）; a/ u1 R# M) \* [8 ^2 Z/ B; I
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。  X: T! h) U  ^
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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5 N/ c. N( [& f' Z: h5 ?( w警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
% D1 u4 _, a7 ]1 [  U; z6 DLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
4 m  K* \. K# E8 @' g  }; t话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。* `$ ?4 I9 f; }: D) i$ A! f# s
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
" t9 ]3 I! |) C9 W, ]0 G/ y" |& ~3 Z- eWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）1 |' m+ ~# Y! I' n
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）4 d& d7 F  h" Q6 B1 z. y* U9 v0 j
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
7 m7 Q' i+ c" u7 xWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
7 i9 _& d" [" f/ G- H( UHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
9 c) x6 ?7 K5 A2 W) MWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）, B. I1 L# W# P9 y2 v( z% I
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
" Z9 d4 h% }, `6 ~Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
8 T( i2 d2 c, I( x! o- QMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
  U4 r+ E% P- l8 B（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）" b- y) M* h* i+ X  G2 m
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$ }. Q: r+ h& `- T# u; O! N总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……