《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
; j% a( m! {3 ZWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）5 _3 b; ?, ^; W
Holmes: I just picked it up.  l; V) u/ r2 x, s) l3 C- @% W
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
* z, p7 n0 O4 _4 f7 Q6 f# YHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
" [- @4 V$ I- ~Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）1 A! a" \* u: x% A' U7 c
Holmes: You did.
; J% O% Z) h# R( e$ [2 W（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）; o/ z8 ~! D9 L
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
  E' g- I2 H  ~; pWatson: Permission to enter the armory.$ z6 @4 Q- ]$ v
Holmes: Granted.$ {$ q' t. v  k: k
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
( e# Y- L" t$ `# O2 I( _Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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1 v# C' G! W# ^7 [拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。) T' t$ c$ A7 Z2 q) x
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4 R* z- X8 v- n2 r7 x' CWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。$ N; ?- i( S0 s, M7 q8 b# q% n, U
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）! h3 w" ]/ c$ ?
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。! K" w6 B, t) F! |- ~
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) e: z9 D$ o( f9 r# A1 F2 FBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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' c. k* R; Y2 j7 hIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
. }9 Q% F' E! I2 aHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
# e: \! P+ w# @, v3 e0 h3 hIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.3 l$ _9 ]6 a$ g" N# ^$ K1 H  I+ }
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. [* |7 n7 o/ I6 [4 EIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。$ u% N2 y4 ^/ o
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
* ^; L; i+ D/ v0 L0 CWatson: Get that out of my face.
) \3 F6 `7 w) f/ ]9 G7 }' WHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.# J/ E; T+ {: b+ C3 Q4 R9 F
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
* G- J# d: g, n! b) o! y路人警官Clarky上场。
: l! ^  ?0 }! C) l8 t* I+ ~% w' eClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once./ L7 K) n! o, {. g  k" x
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
# C. c6 g! Z5 T* E# V& o" ~得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
3 n9 U6 D& c) b, [( JWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
" L6 l  z; r+ s! b2 P3 l7 dHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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/ T! T( k* a) b1 W墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。( L/ s- t$ |$ Q7 \
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
" e6 ]( o. r* x1 n2 k% rHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
* z3 v2 a% h' C1 g& XWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）" c: i8 x4 [& D  \. S$ R7 q
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。1 ^9 c' D3 @4 z
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）  e" E7 D. u& P  j+ l/ J* v/ O1 D6 z
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…1 H0 r$ j2 A- K8 p7 u; e
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）: ^% A% i1 Q& M0 N
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。+ q$ B# `0 `5 J7 L8 U
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
- X# |+ M$ K% }1 e3 v- t后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。; H( s0 q0 t) C, N8 Y4 l
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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" c9 h2 D! _) [! Z警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。+ r: M4 ^) F; D% y
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。3 r3 \; w9 z) a5 s" ?9 ~+ N
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
& d" v) p6 v8 y- e! a% }: [  r! }' vHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）1 M0 O: \, \5 ?: Z( @
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）3 L+ _6 H! v* Q- V& b
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）/ p1 v* x' d) U
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
) [4 h/ ]# ?- vWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
! N- I* x% p" K9 @; V- jHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
4 j" l( T, g& R( \  j" ~7 ~9 KWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）' F, A' T- E" z% I% S+ A
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
& _8 L( c! W5 @0 g0 WWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
+ V3 r  G  g5 Z3 X3 I* B3 XMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）  Z& F5 y0 {$ x' s; m( U; `" S
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）+ `5 O4 E6 _3 C. @
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; \7 S* y" u5 r' l6 m- K2 F总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……