 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
D/ R& T6 O6 z5 t. L9 LWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
' h0 i, o! v, sHolmes: I just picked it up.
6 ~% o+ H. {- \& Q' o* hWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) 0 Y4 L9 _0 S1 D7 W$ T: |
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.; q L: ?- ^4 m0 ?* b7 L; i( a
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
" {1 q- z2 e/ r4 {, u5 r6 G. UHolmes: You did.
( a, Z v9 @# B2 M* n(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
8 _1 t: I8 q2 \$ r3 {- H( H8 rHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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% a3 n0 S2 {$ s. ?5 e宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
& v; J X, O, ]% U {Watson: Permission to enter the armory." K1 L* O9 r# x$ f( f
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 5 V6 U# A! ^( I- L ?$ [' L" _
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) W5 S$ N/ k' ~+ `- Q7 @
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 ' ?) o; ~' [% i; G% r( O' E: m$ ^
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$ K. A- Z( b* [, ~& fWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 " {! q/ R" M, `0 e& U
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 9 T7 D9 y! E9 B6 [* E) E+ ]& a
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 s, f4 T m9 Q7 k8 X# M c2 i' P
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 7 O# }* y. z# {- Y s- Y* R
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# L3 q. s, m& EIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 e9 g& a# w! T% M. t8 K& x
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
% D4 Y8 ^8 G* l o! J6 R1 {/ Z" vIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
4 W* H0 j5 K4 C+ Z: F* [! }Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 9 K7 W0 ~ p' z
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
3 i/ d2 U) @9 B# y, y C8 ^Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 6 t. h" @) g1 S- F# q& H8 G
Watson: Get that out of my face.
# ^9 a/ J. ~1 _( A$ G% yHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
- M7 P9 V1 F) U( G$ [4 Y0 Z# h! GWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.- H7 @$ s# B5 ?8 h6 L
路人警官 Clarky上场。 4 ~( S. y- n8 f. K8 q2 e
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.$ S7 y- H" ?9 W2 V1 W. s
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) 1 @8 v5 a" d% h
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
2 v1 J8 Q0 j) c1 e$ sWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?) |3 p0 C. ]8 y2 I* F* x+ O! s
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.; z7 [- U) X g5 a: p# t E
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
: Z# i4 Y( q/ ^ N0 e [) b( y( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 5 c$ L/ a/ C8 v7 I' A9 \3 j
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
4 s" c7 x3 w% x( ]# OWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
% W4 c/ d* i; o* P, t9 J/ JHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) , u5 ~( T3 h' J3 k
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…: L9 B y9 O0 v& e- \
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
* b: F, u1 X1 p& c9 i+ h! h死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 / ~* G9 C* {$ e: W1 o
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) & I3 o$ q. H* o1 v8 b0 h4 n6 J
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
$ C) s$ S n% sHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) ( R+ v& E- z- ?8 V6 l
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" `2 k' c3 o5 o& A警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
* g' T" v2 k" Z: o$ P0 c, @Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
b; Q: L9 |. j" M! i# q, U话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 6 o: b. _9 {& Y @
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 1 Z7 v4 z/ }$ v; z5 }8 A
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) " i' E1 I) r! p7 Z# D' ]/ A) j% K
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) ) O- @7 p, Z! f7 X6 z, K6 i
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
@" L1 A& V8 q8 W0 gWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
% u/ l f% o, U9 | RHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
+ h5 L" K( G( k5 oWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
! \& x0 c0 [ j% k" s, NHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) ; C) ` X& g" _ @: g
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
0 o/ j6 f6 z3 d1 F: j' k& cMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
- J# D5 ^+ u7 x% K+ F( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) $ e! u% A5 y' L* c
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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