 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 $ F8 }% i d, ?7 c
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 6 I$ N6 u/ X0 @% t* N
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) 4 f$ |, r% _: Y7 z
Holmes: I just picked it up.' r% D/ \" b& n3 s1 S& F& R
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
7 G" X3 c6 j: t6 [Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
* S9 C5 ]8 s% jWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
( A4 N9 s3 u3 O2 \' k( c* ?Holmes: You did.
8 A* r' g" D7 j* [* ~, p8 e c(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
2 p* q3 X. Z7 v$ jHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.0 d; k# Q* B4 V5 k7 K8 `- t
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, V/ y( D) i. X) J/ F0 n1 G宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
$ R1 f" w$ |) U- V4 h; HWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
! h: b+ J% A# h' ?5 ?Holmes: Granted.4 r/ q" ?' N! k" d2 f$ l4 Z* u8 L
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
6 K2 u2 N1 O* o, G4 }7 u: L8 n+ hWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 0 r- s+ t( J5 h* q9 h8 l
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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# t* ]! C0 l7 M5 l$ bWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 # P) S U$ h- |1 J- d
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) % {5 P7 b* F* S4 P q# b
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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1 H4 b+ c+ B- E' SBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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- C0 d& H V+ {0 q& ZIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
* e! k8 a" s1 ?+ c+ r) d, n( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 7 C: B% i( ]$ M- O$ w$ ?: z8 d
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
1 q# Y. k8 b) Y0 l9 U8 yHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) ( b2 b; d% O* |0 Y0 j, B
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 & {' T Z7 k8 e1 l1 l1 V6 l
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
) A% c/ B/ L+ s' G aWatson: Get that out of my face.
# _0 `* j6 O) h' h0 t0 p! |Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
8 G1 B. B. |) V* bWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.9 ~6 T( B: z/ ^/ e4 f
路人警官 Clarky上场。
4 O% J W! Q$ r6 f. YClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
. D) I" z/ N1 J1 ?/ d% {9 K$ |9 g2 [Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) + B1 n/ j% V% q! |" r6 s& J
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 / n$ g" K* i/ |* s
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?" D/ E4 p E3 M( t+ P
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 ' c# X& z6 A4 ^: B! U* g# ?
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
* Z0 d9 E7 A9 p! [/ O# HHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.7 x. P% W: X& y& |
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) ; M! T3 B7 t3 Q
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8 M+ L# f, | }+ G0 v$ W( Q4 [" ]河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
) c$ o7 M& w& THolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 6 M( K5 d' j; q
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
* h0 U& _2 w' r" \0 y7 z2 D- B, j2 VWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) & F1 m3 Q3 w* n5 N9 N
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 & U2 s* t9 s; o; y! O' d' n$ M
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
" W2 k! a7 l u" k后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
5 P7 Z; s8 u3 T, j; }6 v4 JHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 , L3 L6 Z3 r: C& v( F
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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/ Y, h/ p# D7 b* {+ D4 H接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
8 p; @$ @- p: U话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 + t0 a. S" P( s3 }3 a5 p
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 7 k) p, l) r7 H, ?. C m
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
, O* C, _" _( e- M7 Z) F. VHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) # b& q% D! C4 i4 P" p2 L
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?$ f/ D* w- N# A. V( k: e
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
g- ]0 M9 a6 }: H. k9 e! cHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
- V) b- M* ^5 |2 L% ~. q2 OWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
( o6 G1 a5 j) x* w' MHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
9 f6 u) k, g' j0 VWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) , P" r, a3 k3 Y/ q; B7 ~
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
* a7 }: R! o7 X0 _$ G( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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{0 o2 ]4 E& {) ]7 l: y总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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