《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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; j$ ]4 E+ }# C影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。2 @! A$ ^* T" f2 Y: p' n
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
4 Z5 U* `* p1 y# v/ E, y' t; mHolmes: I just picked it up.
( ]( D. `& C0 d: z3 F3 ]Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）& _7 m4 ~' t8 x9 C  ]
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
6 W1 b9 ]' R/ s8 n3 ]Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
2 X8 |" N9 `7 c1 k) @: b, kHolmes: You did.8 f8 _! S: {4 H7 d9 W4 q
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
" `- y: B% k/ e3 I  |Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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& P" l9 i. D; E: b  C2 }; j宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
2 `/ I- M! i6 @2 l8 _- v" |+ k7 pWatson: Permission to enter the armory.0 ]0 t6 ]" F1 L" \5 u- u' b' Q
Holmes: Granted./ O5 n( S: s! F- p3 O# P
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  w+ g4 [# ]: k3 ]- b$ Y晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
; T% Q4 }% A+ d! W& w) D! o" E1 [Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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. s; I4 c- y9 F1 |2 d+ U/ M拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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8 Z" u+ k( [/ G" tWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
. g2 D6 e; N5 v9 u2 j3 ]6 w1 NWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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0 W/ g5 h8 z. \! {5 Y) bHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。* l! t9 S. \: L- y5 [9 a
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9 k# A/ x5 }8 v% qBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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6 T0 ?( y7 ?! B, o- DIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。3 m7 Z; {( z) g
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）) H" s+ M0 L- i) o$ W9 e, `4 |
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
- ]( [# d. c) D+ _2 ?3 oHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
) U3 V% Z$ h/ @% `  E7 oIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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. a. O$ B, a0 ~, \$ I" o) q8 A; PIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。' \. s7 W9 V( v  x' {5 s; I
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）5 b- h; X7 t) {; E
Watson: Get that out of my face.5 y, O/ e3 N# f; K
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
  T$ V" @0 q: S& _# w* k# B* GWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.& \7 D: H1 q! z6 G: x
路人警官Clarky上场。5 E1 O1 J7 Y4 \, A' T, d8 H" m3 i
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.: b$ F6 ]+ V$ b- u
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）- u* X3 c* T4 e! X0 y2 V
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。' R4 r4 _8 d; {. o* ], r; g
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?' F5 q) q) H- _" N
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.4 f) D7 T, E( X
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$ u6 ]7 {( I" s: q2 c墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。  h0 N# j, q- p3 _! A
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
! B! e1 P) C$ ^& k* }4 BHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
3 @: U; z, U6 q" v: Z4 C. SWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）# w, H+ N6 _* T
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
& Z2 G- l- A8 {7 y9 u! {Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
& n3 L3 p" v; J6 H/ v$ qBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…, C$ R7 s3 O3 c- d$ R
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）; n3 k* O1 O5 V' k% i0 {. v! E# S9 h
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。" {: q' D& i# |6 W% y
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
1 ]) u3 ^* h: v7 ]4 S8 K6 s后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。( }7 M1 J% a4 x2 k
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）& J6 m, P- o3 t: r. \  {$ ^
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
6 Y+ {9 l+ X% K) O8 w9 H, mLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.5 Q# h. {0 b+ ~4 K, \; F
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# {: _0 D& _8 p: h' }; u# ?( C( G接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
% ?2 n/ X% H& V/ Y5 S话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。, y3 _/ p2 S# A6 e4 A% c  l# Y
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
! e( n6 D6 P5 TWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）: p& n  H1 a- `) q
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
. |( {* u2 d3 L# s7 J2 S' c' xMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
3 x- a9 I0 A# ]1 P8 l6 X; NWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
1 V( r% `" B8 H% c% WHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）8 ?( I% W# n9 X) P* o, v4 ?! r
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
! n! k  `8 q( w! h; |+ n$ AHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）: o+ U* [" o" P5 r* [* Q7 ^  H% [# m
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
6 |$ }+ T& e& O; l0 a$ _3 KMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）. r' |/ c  l& e2 {# T# C; }
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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0 H+ L8 A7 s0 \) l0 A' Q' D& r总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……