《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
5 O9 ^9 H9 b( T7 j" p; Y! ^7 eWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
0 @, D1 n+ w( z+ |/ F1 c" s: uHolmes: I just picked it up.) ], u" P$ Y0 [; T- i! [6 a
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）7 [- D; i3 s# K9 `% o1 p2 A
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.- I& ~8 Q0 y) @5 |
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
# [% l0 M4 b7 P# |Holmes: You did.9 K( V* B5 m0 E
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）& I, Q( Y$ r% B
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。4 z$ X3 [3 T2 D% q9 t$ |6 U  l
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.0 |& U) c" \2 k3 d2 D
Holmes: Granted.) r# O+ R- [8 f# e
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4 L5 p3 a3 P7 j7 D3 Y  J晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
$ M8 ^/ D# b5 X+ B% t% l6 @, tWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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; }# p4 L( g! Z" j  R# @" T3 _, ~拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。# Y$ \. `: Z- r: S
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
7 t" k! L, t) W9 T( HWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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) H9 ^& V/ x) L, F# CHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。, ?; d1 c3 a. F1 `* p
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。6 s) t7 M8 F' h) `. ^! Q# V
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
7 E" j# }* g+ g' \: w6 u& jIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
0 V& [! v, s. D0 _Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
1 v2 F. }# ?7 P5 S$ r2 q7 H9 ~; JIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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; P" A7 g( s+ v3 E2 A3 DIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
+ \/ v: A9 B, AHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）8 I! B0 [/ z1 Y) }
Watson: Get that out of my face.# {# h) `7 W" B+ b$ f- q' A4 q
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand./ w( U" J& t2 ^) o+ g
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
8 w% [& G* e3 G路人警官Clarky上场。
) C5 j- i3 S: d- ]# [  vClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
/ ]6 ?, d  L4 T8 EHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
) E6 n1 E8 e8 |# w% q" I得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
6 U2 @2 T* k; F& V8 t9 SWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?% ]& w. N0 Q# T. M* t
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
' H  n8 y. G5 F* ?（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）8 z. G8 O8 D( K8 Y; u8 m" ]. T
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.6 a$ ^& Y; D6 z& ^
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）2 M6 W$ u5 E0 A# ~
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9 p0 D! w4 v7 Q  h$ W河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。8 w3 t  _! e+ M" \0 g- t7 \
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）; x+ b4 M) h. i; a
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…: T) o1 P1 `7 a$ e1 L
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
; o$ l: b; ^$ o6 ^7 H死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
; i- h9 ]" ^3 L& h- ^( DHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
, E3 @6 ]' s  c6 x后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。6 k& f0 E) o% L7 i: |' o
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）* |8 K5 M! }' _
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。: _' O0 P! r9 W+ j3 W4 H* X" D' c
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。1 F$ y- w* j: y2 b, n- G" P; y: k
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
4 n/ l& @* U$ _! p7 p6 pHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）% l6 `( s& q2 O" I: ?: w& G7 L
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）( k- N8 w3 K  p3 s: S6 v
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）4 Y) m2 I( t; k( v2 q4 W
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
8 k  v. |, p. M7 z( P6 H7 E+ E. MWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
9 |+ W4 n' x- {3 k$ G- C9 THolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）% g  _' B0 \  q7 a0 S, C
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
3 [  B5 T+ }4 O/ |8 hHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）- x; g+ u0 G4 p; R0 f
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）: O- A& p# D" E2 ]; \
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
  b2 U9 z5 m  Z（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）% O  h( k# [- a" _& |( o  C" y
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; u* ?; `& r3 O' a总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……