《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。( h% C4 w3 q( e' U0 d0 @9 u8 B
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）' n2 ?2 t& Q5 |* D) j, r& e, e3 l
Holmes: I just picked it up.
+ h8 k0 t" h8 ]' }: j) FWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
* {  C9 M% Q/ KHolmes: Knew I forgot something.- v. R7 Q! c0 N
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
& g3 _9 |7 B3 RHolmes: You did.
* p" J% B8 d4 k/ s（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
% {; {% B  d& ~0 _# a; S8 sHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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% F: s9 J- @- n; V宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。4 ~3 Q, E% d* D5 }
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.3 w9 K  d: i) i" E" r+ T4 L  Y
Holmes: Granted." P) R# q! [& x8 R3 P1 E- B
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
: }( r3 c- \2 W) g$ HWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）' {* j  S) |/ b3 J2 d1 J& F, K1 \1 V
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。2 R& Q: I) o6 u2 j( y) K* E  c
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。* |0 |- u/ h, J; \5 F* O
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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& ~( I: }7 J, c5 m* Y% }! \9 f( uHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。; n. i7 ?2 z8 G& k* d
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。) D( C: m5 ^5 o. e0 h! T
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0 u: p- g* s2 E  OIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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# F" _, m7 p9 a- L: F6 C' dIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?/ `0 e" J; e& m- `( p% O3 Z
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）$ [1 ^$ w% W6 I( |
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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' A# Y8 m4 c/ f. W/ S2 dIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。! S3 ?8 ?# Q8 Y, f1 I3 X
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）2 L- j7 S6 N' _! I
Watson: Get that out of my face.% H! y  q9 j% y9 ~* {
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
! }) }9 g5 X4 J3 S# O$ @Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.4 V$ C  X# ^/ m; U- Y
路人警官Clarky上场。: f- g6 g. n* m( |- o
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.# p) `" d9 k' l9 R& I
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）, b5 J- v* b4 ]8 D1 F& ]2 \
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
3 O  u  v" o9 c5 @( f. AWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?0 `- `. ~; m! V5 i8 P3 A
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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2 l% Z* M5 S3 h: G墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。+ I4 e2 r5 G: o) B" f2 o* z
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）4 W! M1 j' }& r- B% S" H7 C* A
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
8 S4 y( T) b$ x" D8 @! P% M8 AWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）" t$ O3 C4 u4 j  k  q
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。/ @  x- U( ^' F+ y2 I. N( U% N
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
5 t3 R; J; j, b1 iBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…9 I7 t% j/ e9 P
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）4 {' S6 g) F5 o: o2 P
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
* Z" m% t. I. X) o2 x4 w+ Y5 h" {Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）; p0 e  O& @' @& C; }% l4 ?+ q
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
  G  g" N0 @( v/ d8 ]. sHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）  {5 I# }8 q9 _! w
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% I. L- y5 ]" p( R# _3 H& C警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。8 L' e4 _2 c0 q; _: m7 }
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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+ D+ h3 [- P( k4 F( l! k, Q接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
- y: M$ _: R8 r话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
8 G0 p( {* x# l6 KHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
" W( m  W( h9 V, V) y0 lWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）3 u% R/ E$ L0 x, T2 q6 Z
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
9 K$ m2 W6 X3 Q! V1 ^6 ^$ SMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?* k( W, b: v& _
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）5 R  }6 ?5 q! a0 e; _
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
. x4 y: P# l4 U7 R0 p; PWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
1 b" V+ T* G! \3 iHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）1 J0 [" @$ h# F1 u  G
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）5 j8 p0 E& e$ {5 B/ b+ }$ k
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）3 \, V8 t8 f) E' k
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）7 t4 N0 S; |3 J& [+ R2 O; B
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……