《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。! y9 d( {$ [% J4 g$ ~/ e% \1 s' b
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。& M* |9 ^4 t  ^1 S+ C
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
6 ?6 R: |) S8 k# \+ aHolmes: I just picked it up.
4 X! e2 c% G, c# w: N" ~Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
2 k& U/ }' Z* {& v% _Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
% i5 ^( F: S7 w+ _% k3 C# C! nWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
! D5 A6 A; [, O# M; K+ k, Q( {Holmes: You did.0 D1 E2 e, q; a) T
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
9 x: f* A# v; U& S. K9 W# O3 @Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.# r( \& {8 p7 L& G
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3 o3 K) k  k. H: o" I: A宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。, L/ k* Y8 G0 p
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
: X+ b. q% m/ Q8 HHolmes: Granted.
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; W' V( h- h6 c! }% G3 v* i7 W, L晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
% v  D" m: f$ W' n* p# MWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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0 G- Q9 Y( Z/ k& G) T$ P/ O拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
% q( y9 b  Q. ]3 h9 NWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）! c9 N5 o$ h6 u: ^
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。; S- P9 z: Z  Y+ U6 b
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。" ?2 n; i# c1 a; E
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。0 _6 H6 o. _6 C8 U6 g" D$ R
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
& V- C  G7 _+ Z1 aIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
6 L) Q8 s$ R7 T0 a6 q& Q! d6 @Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
9 n8 f  v, l$ m, KIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。# ?4 u3 d' W6 C) e
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）$ A. \% A. w# G% Y2 ]( ?3 Q4 m! K
Watson: Get that out of my face.. k* j% D4 ~. W: m" |. ?% K4 V
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
$ u- N2 t9 ^, b& ]Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.! n) p/ E- ^  S: ?& N( W$ Y
路人警官Clarky上场。3 U% M8 ]: n. w. H, Q6 S
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
6 j& c& P! _' z8 M$ J% rHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
& R% f# K, C$ t8 c7 J7 o! ^* g得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
1 P! Z8 b4 m* T& Y. ^0 tWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?2 K$ z6 Y1 b" H3 O+ {6 W2 B
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。' G3 p/ `. X+ x1 ~9 G, c6 h
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）1 y1 B3 S5 H, `
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
+ {: [( Q) i6 @7 K" jWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。9 _" f5 m2 _8 q: Q( X6 K
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
9 K# P7 `/ O( y3 _. g8 kBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…7 q7 b. l# o& p( I; _
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）5 P% \( T4 \* a* [) Q
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。! {5 K4 V' u0 B/ W6 d! m, m& \
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
9 B  p; E# x" f; t* w5 \: h5 c! u9 `, a后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
8 ^! `* H0 i7 _. H$ H! ?Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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" Z! z- B, W9 C3 M  U/ i警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
3 F4 }2 s. S" O: t4 @- }Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing./ m0 ]2 S2 n( ^+ I. ]$ P) j+ k# e
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: l, R" c$ t$ n接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
- S2 B( M! {$ g( {" f; _1 t" v话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
5 k  Q6 y  F, W" @- Z9 CHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）8 t8 N) K: l' ^5 X+ m
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
1 a' T. v' S# }Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
9 r: P- L  I3 U3 V; hMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?8 p7 \. L0 F5 Y6 ^1 d+ S+ c
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
1 I2 S0 z+ y0 D0 v" M7 JHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
) B; K3 w/ h! F' I/ ~# z4 c7 `- ]Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
$ C* ]' k! l* ^, s& L- b+ k6 [Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）1 Y' g1 f% j! l' ^& b( X: v
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
- g3 L+ I% q$ G9 z/ U3 y; QMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）$ J/ f- m4 I6 ]# Z
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）# P; o7 d* a, U+ P
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& T, O5 C; a. q3 }总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……