 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 + p: M& C. P' m# M2 c$ k
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, ?- p) A3 I5 a+ C, Z影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
: p$ D* z; r8 W: f* @" LWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) 8 y" H3 Y% \2 L$ U
Holmes: I just picked it up.* O# f( j* H% D7 l
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
* l) K) Y& U7 AHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
. @( p8 E7 |7 b; h/ }; t, i; r) lWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) 9 z0 R* q- H! ~: ]# Z
Holmes: You did.
5 g. p& Y% v* }& k _# y y(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) 8 E5 |8 B( b% f" ~
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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# P7 \, y& L4 V8 j9 ]宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
; l3 |) n) A/ kWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
}8 ]8 ]5 ^9 V* o8 g' l5 l @Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
3 K7 N v2 ?8 B+ G# k' r: B8 LWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 2 u4 w6 O6 g, c+ G8 n' f( R* F
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, l) z5 W C0 v, n( a拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 * T& z# _5 q+ ]7 I" \( b
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 + I, K: q! `! z
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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$ H# D, R+ ]9 q. fBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 $ M; C( j3 O5 w% c. q
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/ k8 Y0 p. |* u8 Z% H$ l+ ^Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 9 j- U0 D& t2 j: ^5 P j5 M
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
$ q1 I1 Z# k! q+ ]% FIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
9 B: L0 p. {, G$ I+ v; iHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) ! h" D; l9 u \3 b" x" U
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope., H* @. h0 d: z5 C; a# _. ~" ~0 N
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, O* C+ _ p. G1 P# QIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 1 l/ ? V+ \7 b, P6 W3 @+ I
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 4 G- g2 x. j! u$ y$ h
Watson: Get that out of my face.
5 T6 G: T% |) @4 U$ ?: a& y5 G9 m4 nHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.# @: E0 \6 r0 w2 \1 }: u, S1 i
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
* |, m/ D9 l+ H4 b( O3 [* f路人警官 Clarky上场。
8 c9 S$ l- e! _6 v/ j3 cClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.- S7 J/ A' E; _" u4 v3 K
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
, p3 B7 i/ Z& o& \. R8 ~, I- h得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
8 s6 F9 m! k7 YWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?) u) V0 t" o5 f `) F
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.0 o6 C) | C6 h
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 5 G% ~7 w x! x. y4 N% U
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
/ g" w+ P, I8 o, Q8 |# A5 [Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
" N; c- o2 _; |) Q0 mWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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' i3 z' f6 ]8 _河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
1 F4 J( T& n9 M, }Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) * `! Y( P$ k" O3 z1 j3 a K
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…1 z# ^$ G. e! ^9 D( H3 i1 @
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
" w" t$ m8 t9 w- @死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
! F/ n9 c5 C' l9 r4 y3 hHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) ' l6 v: g j+ c0 W% a. V
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 8 i+ U7 \' r0 P$ [2 b8 L" x# P
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 ( c) H) P2 f" k
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.; @# j5 V/ T/ T1 R* Y- S; Z: t
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 2 P/ G- w6 z" l/ L# x+ H
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 : U" s! r4 I4 w+ ~
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
2 w& x+ c& u/ R: k1 PWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) & g8 H* P2 \5 i8 x: v+ G
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
3 C/ \& F' W2 f vMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
* y' F5 b8 P. b% [9 M( B1 d a) D% ]3 rWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) ' `( Z7 m& \6 q" u% n
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 1 D+ R, L. N I0 N
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) ! D. y5 h$ Z5 Y7 k1 ~5 u
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
' M H7 `1 V* Z$ CWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
5 D" V- z; z/ d) l$ LMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
0 y9 @/ L( H. }2 P. k: g( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) # @. _8 t0 q* O! J6 Y C3 i
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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