《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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4 A) W- W9 l. ~) R% {: R影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
$ P8 j; n) m* H8 p  CWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）: M" I8 H3 p5 W2 w* O( U/ o  d
Holmes: I just picked it up., ~7 L. |: b( V/ n3 Y! {: P4 c
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）& W" _7 r- }* q' L! t
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
/ H/ J% |1 ?4 I0 E+ ~! nWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
" q! Q! V8 {% ~! ?9 n$ MHolmes: You did.
5 B) S5 A" ?0 ~$ g4 S  A) M+ t（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
/ ^0 d* X% s9 t9 B; vHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
$ x. C2 `: I- \9 ~+ r$ }, K) {Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
4 L2 m2 {# K3 f3 g9 `& `Holmes: Granted.$ T* ^. H' v9 v5 ]- z% h. `2 ?
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9 {) _2 B  m7 |  D- z1 d4 I$ S晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。- b3 A# f5 `  t. M* K
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）" O) S1 C1 ^, C* x6 J# m: ?
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" H5 b$ [5 `  i# f/ D  J; E拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。% {  r( F  t4 d
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) J2 {) A+ Z+ Z& F, X( Q( ^Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
& X. F* b% ]+ l% B! W/ _% tWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）; e7 c! A' K& W* ^3 Y) i  T
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, }- S0 i  B7 K. u2 x3 xHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。3 g7 k% p; s8 L8 n
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; o# _" }: y* ?3 ]- Q& {Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?# P9 I' D& [  q
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
8 V& G* U& q  C7 `3 B' |0 d! H. JIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。; i! F; @" |# W7 P* |& g% n) H
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）; |2 i" z& A6 m; r- F2 `, f* y
Watson: Get that out of my face.+ {5 }; U$ W' p5 b0 o  r# H3 W6 B, e
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.0 \9 X  \3 G* f8 [
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.: ^4 ?+ X( l3 g1 Q
路人警官Clarky上场。5 @  O, y  T5 I2 ]
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once./ B- ]% S5 s; [' {: {+ y
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）1 _. E5 x8 \+ @. E
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
) Z$ ~3 f- C( xWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?* J6 i* {1 y( t2 [: Z8 T
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。- I7 E* l& \& K2 s/ G; v9 e0 S
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
$ ?, ?; e, [' ]3 A+ ^Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
7 g/ c: ^5 W; Z- G/ [; }3 yWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
- s% n* d2 i: `9 g* ?* WHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
0 r0 I# Z3 G* S4 _6 uBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
/ V+ u) ^* d: K2 iWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）1 Q/ E4 K+ {, M$ X+ l; M$ L
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。3 ~8 @: _  o, M  t1 H, U$ e
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
$ i9 X! x0 F( t1 s) B, v$ c7 `  O后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。( C7 s+ q8 z. A4 M3 Y7 _4 ^$ }
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）5 ~) Z: I) \* w5 K+ B' O
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0 ]8 `4 c. W1 q警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。7 c6 i. Y4 e; [- K4 ^6 \
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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; W; p9 i: b' ~3 ^  \, B接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
$ J1 C/ t5 F& n- E话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。7 Q# N- }2 Q& c) M/ G2 b
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
" J  K$ \5 v1 V$ u. k# `7 iWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
. X3 |2 f( q: V3 {* _. o( jHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）' g  S* n* W" m; Y$ B/ X1 E+ U
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?. }) `# w' R- E  m7 d5 _0 L" j
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）0 x$ Q  L/ G9 \
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）, w) i6 c5 @; M9 m( Q. b2 G# w/ ?6 E
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
' O) m, K: M' x8 D; T3 FHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）: N3 c1 J$ {, c: y5 ?
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
* c) ]4 z, I3 _5 ZMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
- e& q3 l1 S( e3 d1 Z（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）; }% I  S( ^6 @7 @
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……