《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。( V, G: ^8 y2 S0 `
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) D( `' }/ P* {' I( y影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。3 H' l9 k! D4 |4 Q' K, W" ?6 Y
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）* r" l6 H( C' O
Holmes: I just picked it up.
$ U! u! l/ ~9 ?. ~7 o; mWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
+ L& j+ o* F. z2 A' i9 d. s+ K2 r! [Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
3 G, e1 N6 _; J) ?5 ~+ F1 AWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）9 M: O+ h5 W7 y6 I- }
Holmes: You did.
1 ^! g9 U8 y+ e3 W' U（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）2 B. i! {, p: o0 K5 J# J# E
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.# W/ G2 a5 e1 t1 f" l, A. @
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2 B; v! D# t; A" B3 F& X2 f8 s" w宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。8 I* p9 G1 ?1 ~) R+ X4 ^, r5 z
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
, H0 V5 o2 A& F3 N  Q1 ]Holmes: Granted.: p: a$ X. {; g: |" s2 @8 R
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
+ \" v! e$ Z- W; `  _6 IWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）$ h/ x# m3 U2 H& u
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。# S! p$ p9 D: d: [6 x
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
7 M" U3 ]4 v( @7 \7 [# I' a8 sWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）7 @* ]  V: p; H* B
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。* M4 ]" E; o2 s( c
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% y; F+ M* q% H# k2 _* m/ o; R1 q  WBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。1 ~# @! t4 @6 G+ X4 I
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
% ?6 E' L& |4 p7 j, z9 a- c: P& e7 LIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?0 j0 h( o* W0 t8 |. I
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
9 b% `/ w8 {' KIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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/ u/ Y: g+ c% m5 ?' IIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
& z/ U! \! j% ^  u7 C; h; n  X4 zHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
0 ?" Y' m9 r' j- JWatson: Get that out of my face.
* {3 ]$ ]0 P8 wHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.( T' n0 H* L6 s1 f
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
8 W: H. G( I3 z( S3 ~4 n路人警官Clarky上场。1 O( |; u; t9 K1 q9 L6 B) m
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
6 h! X4 F8 t# CHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
6 H/ d6 T( d) Z+ H+ i; U得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
; G+ l- _% g; X% e3 PWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?/ Z$ l$ z- l/ {" z7 Q
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
- V, w' s+ @3 \- t1 B/ I（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）$ _( h4 S  s: q9 E: `* P+ O
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
" L4 A) m5 B) w! D" V; U8 IWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
# V# v* Z  u7 [  YHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）+ t4 t) W8 J+ Q; ?3 ^3 y
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…: Y) q6 ?/ G; `3 B4 x+ Q. q
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
# {: Y& x; o2 S% v# I- J死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。4 y  f1 D# p! c/ a$ H' D; L) W, R
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
7 ?3 L: j; d7 s' i6 F3 g后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。, S* F% `0 U4 b% j
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）* `  a1 R6 e! V  ^  U
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- O* V- V2 I" b3 Y) b# B: ?8 G警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。3 S3 N( U/ k- |
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.' `" ?5 d8 A# C6 W9 h5 g# P+ A
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。: f& j5 L; ^0 m' q. Z, h  C* I) P& s- j
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
0 E  S. T, j, w0 x- F4 yHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
# q& f  D, s/ B8 @3 J/ W5 f$ rWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
& B+ C/ t. f; O' e- a4 R9 d* ^Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）4 {3 o5 |/ t: m9 Z% x/ P. x; E
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
" y" f( N2 ?) ~, d% X- g* bWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）5 R7 T0 ~1 ~, M! E3 R1 ?
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）9 d' e7 g6 i" O4 R9 k% `0 F; B/ x
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）5 x# m( j1 P- E3 i8 w9 X9 M" D
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
; l8 W8 [7 ^* ?2 N, VWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
0 e2 e% o8 O4 \5 vMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
; F( X6 c0 I( R' I$ U（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）0 X/ d& s+ l% z4 y' h2 \+ ]: D
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……