 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 ' j( F: }2 \* J. S$ ]3 e0 t+ R; C' o. ~
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
O$ M7 R6 H. W. X! }" ]Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) : y$ f/ N, W2 g. I6 _3 E
Holmes: I just picked it up.
1 [( R& N% X: i6 b; @Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) : w* Y8 r& c$ w& H7 ?( i1 t
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.4 w, ~+ @" H, X7 h& I
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
# z# {1 T8 }) O; r* DHolmes: You did.2 f& I o3 w; i) o( L
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) 1 J! C$ i% j& q' k6 a' \" D
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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6 B) z& L+ [9 X* e9 q4 i) j2 B4 X宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
9 G" X9 L0 g2 OWatson: Permission to enter the armory.! t9 s4 N1 _. e2 u* M \3 P: K
Holmes: Granted.1 |* P% V: v" ]9 ?: c
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 5 e* H% O) ?$ h) o% _7 g, X3 K
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 + U/ ]7 }1 s7 y, B
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! V! G# ]& f) s) ^! i( e' q& t. x1 \Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 4 m' p1 A" c6 w4 ~$ W2 d. ^' M
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) ' ]& T9 b$ o0 o1 K- q+ x! D; E1 {- A
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4 Z* E" y+ l/ d8 t# dHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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: H+ p6 S) B* G( e$ | y2 x1 ABlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 % f1 b n& k0 _8 K4 e R2 g( p
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; ^# G9 g' j# M# E6 D- B6 R0 X8 pIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
/ j/ H" ~8 l% v6 z. v* j( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) ) x4 E& M' d# B$ V* ~! Z
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?$ ?4 e# ?5 n' _) z) ?
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 7 W4 w$ V) V3 W" p4 [: A W- K
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.5 u" z; V4 `$ c# k) `) c" {
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
; B, _' F2 A# i: F+ X; hHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) Q1 [' m8 ` o u6 C
Watson: Get that out of my face.
3 a1 X+ g N" M$ P& AHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
% u3 f! f3 v+ a+ W' t6 S2 L( mWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.% _$ d, T4 [: E. [' `+ z$ T
路人警官 Clarky上场。
0 W2 Q& z r1 C3 A' MClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.4 J7 E9 ^1 m4 Q
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
, B% v1 @ Q3 Q2 o: @' J, t得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
6 \* ~9 U1 p4 O, C0 v$ NWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
, \8 C3 @% x2 a! u4 j& ?Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.$ D! I8 ? l/ B
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! |; A' v! q. s墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 # n* ?2 ? ?( {; l+ C$ \
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) + Q2 f' V. n( G3 Z+ s F
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
& u6 y, F8 U4 ?8 YWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
. |6 F7 \- z( J* DHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 0 u0 i* P, u8 V" h* Y5 O
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…4 j6 `" v9 i6 F/ H; f$ U. L
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
! }# A9 w) G9 ?死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 , N1 G6 E9 x& w& q
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) i0 X5 M( D. S; j
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 % @1 g- Z M# v
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 8 k X. d8 c }6 T3 W$ B i
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* m K* _( J( Y1 M警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
" z4 f5 L ~5 }! d, vLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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6 W! a0 [4 k" o% n* t/ x4 |接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 2 _. c- |9 ^) f; Y4 A. l
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 8 e/ d0 I2 z, i
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 6 `* E) v: D' x3 L/ H
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) " B$ J. n: g2 O1 E* E$ @
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
: T5 X. n8 m" o" ~+ p+ y }Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
W2 z4 A4 j2 r2 q- \Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
+ T* ?. l7 O/ N& h4 D6 k1 k/ m/ gHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 1 s7 v, ^# p7 P# h+ m/ w/ ]4 n
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
3 ?, Q7 ?9 f/ ?9 M% p& {2 pHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) 6 U: q2 M: u, U' I* }0 a
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
7 ~4 D; q: o; tMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) + W( I5 e: Q7 c1 p% A; ]7 w3 E7 P' Q
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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5 t5 f1 d* t. c) n% Y总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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