《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。# M9 ?: J) [# W" x/ y; H
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）& v& {" k- d# A4 ~3 z+ ~
Holmes: I just picked it up.  X8 z. |( G7 ~5 Z, K6 k
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）# E- a7 N* F, V' {) ~7 u7 I
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
3 n* Q& [* L- V* Y! ]Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）, @& g; K1 d  d' d+ H0 J/ ~
Holmes: You did.. e6 q0 K8 ~" o! @+ w
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
1 J" ?7 k! X; w- x* D* eHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。# t9 A6 y3 w2 W4 f
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.9 O8 [( C. Z& a; L7 A! X7 H
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
" f4 d  f$ I8 X7 ]Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）9 N* t5 u  G7 U
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# S$ O& U. @* A( u# M" D3 u拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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/ a5 M1 G6 V7 I, F5 _2 kWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
% n9 S; ^0 j8 q% O5 `  G  P3 QWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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- K4 F! h  t) o& |- Z$ H* QHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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& Z0 ~$ }# _2 y+ l; ~( gIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
$ b& g# O; |+ G' w# C3 m6 o+ z* k) h（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）, C- L/ l1 r( z! D/ }
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
% u( d# S% S, N! `0 L. r9 KHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）  I4 G. F: g$ n, \! R
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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9 b& I, r0 R5 v; a2 GIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
% c8 \; |3 X1 K5 v+ _8 oHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
) r: Y" ?( i3 E: EWatson: Get that out of my face.
# d/ Z* o* `# F# e& _Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
3 A+ i' \, r% F9 UWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.+ G# F9 l9 Z. c2 ^
路人警官Clarky上场。& h. L6 r/ D% X: P* r) n; w9 b: @
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.! ^. i2 e2 i5 ?5 T$ R5 K2 [
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）6 x' u& y. N- G5 p
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。9 [. @7 m! ^6 }
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
+ @4 h1 ]$ H+ g# @% M% J+ lHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。! r( |3 b# k  g5 V, ~; r
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）/ j2 N6 }3 m3 K2 E$ E. L
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.% C4 H$ Q6 R2 p: W& W! l
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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& V8 ^- x; B+ M  N# ^河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
. V  E% t& g3 ~Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）7 {1 j7 y, [3 L( C% B
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…3 ]! K' d7 k+ C/ o5 \6 {! h+ l
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）' V' p& {8 a# c( G' t- Q
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
: g9 g, v( K& h- a; a1 W* N/ ~1 _Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）& z4 c- ^$ v4 N9 ?0 N. q3 o  Y
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。4 a+ T7 {: {# H1 k
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）+ ?+ |& u. a/ M9 S1 b
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! N) I9 o7 u- h" Y$ U3 Y% z警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
3 a  g3 P+ |: O7 \Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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& c- I7 I# {8 k2 b6 ~) M接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
# S) S# V  m9 t) u) E话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。% F3 K4 q1 Q/ ?8 z4 j& ~& t7 Q
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）" [9 D* v( @, b) N
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）4 G6 {( X) `. `8 ?/ }  t  E3 ~
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）2 n0 b0 c. U3 b* M3 r# F: s* M
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?) W' J2 c9 \, w+ {6 k5 I
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
9 @+ \( t4 O7 OHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
+ U+ i& O$ A8 _$ dWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）4 x6 G# r3 l3 D' p1 T- o; J6 i
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
/ ]4 b, ]2 Q; B! }Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）! |. Q" T/ k/ O# `" x
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
- @" J1 _1 y1 G8 C( K% \6 {0 |（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……