 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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1.
9 F8 l8 X. j7 o& F$ R影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
$ t1 B" _0 F& s5 p5 M% ^; FWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
, _9 c3 l0 j/ GHolmes: I just picked it up.
6 e% I% o/ @) n7 AWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) , W$ w i' ?3 u f/ V
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.8 q, [+ R8 _* c& \! ]
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) % J; D- h0 A! F% C, `4 T
Holmes: You did.
; V7 U8 ] r7 s(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) 2 ?6 t @- c* s$ X' Y3 ~ C! l! d
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.. g/ n5 C' K& U( v. ~
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
4 ], @ F8 [1 iWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
. Y" S n8 z$ _0 H# kHolmes: Granted.
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3 F m$ E5 Q7 `8 N晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
% Z" l2 E! H1 j- |" s7 MWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) $ }" h {6 N( n+ N, r& m3 Y
4.
- N; v5 r; C: E$ ~0 i) P4 {拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
7 A' t4 o; T! b/ t5 UWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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: M. ]$ i" S- m" j% M. _Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 7 n2 M# Z, T+ j5 ]1 J
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 ' @9 V0 P2 g4 U5 x% N* L
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 4 b1 ^+ _; q2 d9 m
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
6 k3 Q7 N" }) B- [ l6 G& i4 @Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 7 d; V" W O8 S( @" j0 h5 z6 b; ~4 | W
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.$ m& [* C- \: }' L
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 2 i- R ]4 W% H6 r) z) o
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
; j+ f$ \5 B$ A1 a1 KWatson: Get that out of my face.. S- j5 H0 X6 b" F
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
& `- `) r9 U; a& {, q7 d* i. J8 [Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.8 a3 _8 n% H- x2 A: Z* J
路人警官 Clarky上场。 5 c% x& Q, u" a
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.) t! |( _- F& E1 x( n1 B9 z' K
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) 4 a2 |+ G# @+ E3 L) k
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 ) v! }0 S! H- {3 ^5 l! i9 ^( X* @
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?! _8 a; i0 Z2 M( Q/ t9 J1 }! Y
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 % r% m$ K9 L( f/ V
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
! }$ O0 l& I( q% P- XHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.8 X+ s2 Y( _ s0 t
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) R5 d; s9 L' x7 u0 v
11.
4 Q9 G( M* d, ?河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 ! Y- O% a) K7 e& z+ h: s
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
# j; z- S6 s( d4 o% s; B8 JBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…- N( a/ W* Y- k) o
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
, R. y! G! P/ K1 J死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 2 k, ^$ Y+ A& t/ O) V0 E: H
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
; \9 q! w( S [( S后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 * @, U& c9 @& J
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 8 z/ }( M) C" K5 C/ g1 E* |9 o
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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7 h( S( ]. F! Z3 B. M0 Z+ @( j/ H接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
1 t5 m! ^9 c. s7 L# M话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
$ m9 [! X0 o' x. f$ R5 g4 h, ZHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) . t5 O2 X+ s( i6 F V
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
' c8 Z* k$ o& D) F3 PHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 0 B7 w1 }. G4 Q" x1 \; F
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?/ M+ N8 m3 m3 j. a; b" {5 m1 }
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) V* d/ j+ t# W9 F4 q0 ~1 U
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 0 a# [# m8 y6 {% m5 y4 g$ J$ S/ b
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
R l* z6 }3 U$ \) eHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) " v# i8 g7 ^) z5 J' u9 @
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
1 {6 R, ` ^- n; m( I8 H, ^+ MMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) 8 m4 l/ ~' E; A: E$ w; r, H
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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; I! D9 n; Y2 S7 s; o1 f总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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