《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。' N0 o! \6 C  T/ D. h) ]
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1 W: ~  n" w# k4 t影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
! y& f2 {0 T' {2 t& HWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）) K. m) D0 k5 [# U4 B- _
Holmes: I just picked it up.4 \6 u% \+ F8 O8 ^( n  O4 W% h
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
7 h  C" M  S5 A' }+ K* |6 mHolmes: Knew I forgot something.0 B& K& ]/ p! k
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）4 o$ a) s- T+ i. ]
Holmes: You did.
0 x0 f+ v2 d5 \6 r（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
4 I) m  K" m  u' bHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.$ `* o. \) [6 r& _! p* y0 H; S( {: W
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5 C+ I3 L. j* _0 @- M$ o+ w) H* J宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
* L  z4 C. T/ v6 cWatson: Permission to enter the armory.# d# X- G; v1 X, W! G
Holmes: Granted.
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; f- ^6 M; m6 L晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
9 `5 R) Z7 M& T% cWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）1 Q6 v1 D. ?6 `- L/ m9 }' t9 s
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。( B  a; L9 c  a( `- P
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9 a3 o1 r  M. V% [* MWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。2 [& X6 X# W1 b5 q' g9 K8 D* Z
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）. b& [+ \+ S0 b8 T! c4 x" B) [
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, s0 x7 h3 H* d( q4 Q7 E( o! JHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。, R( k" y  \3 m% u
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。# |# s. |' d4 E% F# d  C- N
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, H( P( Z$ E4 F3 D# A1 x0 @Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。* u$ E+ }8 \6 n: o/ ^# I
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
. v7 Y- n: D$ f7 pIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
+ g3 n- z, `1 AHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
2 ]5 _% R9 t; R3 B' b7 Y, q3 B9 aIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.6 f1 T9 `4 j7 D; ]7 q
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。  }+ n% D, l; ?
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
) M3 N& x. D6 I; IWatson: Get that out of my face.
7 `) E/ b! n8 b0 K* E4 U. {Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
- w7 D6 D0 G+ a# {0 @/ P) nWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.9 Z; A- E, j+ h5 W
路人警官Clarky上场。
+ N+ d! T* {/ O4 XClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.- R; \; p. |; Z, ?- R) f9 |; Z$ A
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
5 r* B8 ^, z. z) C- ?" v: E得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。" M% V; U  M. K( r, D1 N2 q0 u8 j
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
& J4 ~# C6 y' ~1 PHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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& r; J: a; d- U) X8 Q0 A7 [9 A) _7 m墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。( [+ g( x# o1 K3 f; }. b# d6 P
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
3 L$ s/ W5 V1 CHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.0 y4 R0 w7 L& j
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）6 n! b7 d1 n3 }: Y
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& p: W, Q2 @. T5 Q0 \# m河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。0 R$ o# b" s7 F- @" V9 G
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）0 N2 `) N  v# c
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…& b8 a! {, B1 j4 d' V% |! E
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
0 P. p7 ^( T+ x8 w死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
4 Q) o% S* v! EHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
( W  V: X. a0 `' c/ q+ T) m. }后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
7 _8 _6 j# B2 @" t- d+ U9 q6 U5 VHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）! k6 @8 j. ?" |
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
( A/ o/ I; I7 TLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。+ I+ L8 k8 H) a( V
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。: v0 E$ J( ^* _0 w5 H) d
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
4 u# Q( C! S+ A- g7 @Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）! v: _, u9 f) W' o2 u# M+ @1 x
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）7 c8 ]: p" U9 Z. M8 B
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?* v6 d) W- m3 W- O4 I) I* a
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
% X0 H: Q! p" EHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
) W1 U$ G  S4 H( ^Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
4 @$ \1 r4 p1 N6 p* tHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）! H, k; F0 r1 N7 {* o+ K) _+ a# ^& V
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）! ^/ D- d9 A$ J% {2 B
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
. C# n* x- y5 p（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）8 P' z6 B3 ^" z# K, B) g) ~4 ?
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5 k# F- b7 M# G* y# Y总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……