《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
/ t2 e6 o  b; [! X2 S2 n7 p" j***********8 p9 X1 z7 t: }& ?
1．' {- J, S0 a& q1 P! \
影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。) {# i9 K7 S) s; ~" o1 b
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）0 {. O3 c2 s9 z1 n+ [- {
Holmes: I just picked it up.( s  O6 ^) w( B% ?% W2 O6 L
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）, ?* g& T: H$ v' }8 |
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.- j3 O6 a$ R' g5 |; F2 R
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）9 f4 G9 r! g/ ?/ {3 y, v% f7 p6 a
Holmes: You did.% B; R  ^7 w, m0 c$ E
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
9 f# B" R) _8 xHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
( D  }# T+ c1 F; `, V% v, b2．
3 ?' n! m( i5 Z% H4 m宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
6 f0 J1 s6 I" @Watson: Permission to enter the armory.8 u' w9 c& V/ `) _+ ]6 u5 O6 a( c
Holmes: Granted.8 f' D; }6 }, c' a: {
3.
3 D* U3 ]6 L3 P4 w晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。  T0 l  U/ A1 H, |5 l
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
+ h* a% Y5 R3 ^  M  D4．2 O; I) U3 n; |  U
拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。& K% ^1 \" C$ D9 b& b/ D
5．
0 H# A; y  F! R1 g9 H1 H3 U  [Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
* R8 c3 O. B1 [" O5 _Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）5 |# d% x! ], G
6．8 V6 d/ V8 V( r5 ]& Y! e( c, B; ~
Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
8 f8 p! Z! V6 p" \4 B) r  ]3 o7．* R9 ]2 d$ z! K  M! Z4 X
Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
9 s, {0 X+ O# \  K) [8．; N% i5 t7 j9 W$ B
Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
$ `3 g5 P5 N! i; [) f$ Y/ R（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
1 O3 B) }/ u: h4 n/ z7 kIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?( X5 d: _( r) Y
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）4 b: K7 l$ i5 l0 v7 q6 a: R
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.% }3 c- ^, \" g
9．/ m( B* s: f, W) X- X) U5 X9 _
Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。. c8 h& |) c1 e7 A+ W! l2 r
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）: K( V4 Q9 @9 N
Watson: Get that out of my face.
8 d- F- }2 y' V7 a! sHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
( K0 Q6 E# [8 w7 t4 o; Z+ aWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
; A: T: d, L' _: F) [6 H# s路人警官Clarky上场。
; h6 k& g+ N  s) `Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
" \+ r. r0 q8 r" [9 v, rHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）# Z8 y) v- P2 \
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
+ w( s$ Q. _+ p0 LWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
9 ]7 O' I6 S: k% fHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
3 Y/ W5 n$ N; P7 _! \% H10.
" D9 Z- e) C9 e- T4 b. Y墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
% A/ C  k8 E- r9 X0 w* ]3 g（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
. ?* ~8 q1 q: a1 R3 I; kHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
9 o& w( _, h2 m3 {  TWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
7 {* @2 d' M$ p8 n11．$ T- v( x8 B) u9 q5 A* U
河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
9 G5 u. n! B$ b, ~" xHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）; }9 H- b% ~( K5 S
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…7 D4 K8 t5 m  H/ U
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）& k- L" k8 ^$ }+ @: K
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。9 Y  k) g* A2 `0 O5 j$ V: g0 u
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）2 ^  x# e% @' {6 Q
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。. ]" l- {1 C! T0 J0 q: q9 E4 l
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
/ \) |. [4 s3 O1 i2 u12．% n0 W/ J% M" @
警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。' J& \6 x  n0 O+ I) M6 G9 h! w( n
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.8 ^7 _/ M8 ?; h
13." U$ ]; Q9 y; T; z7 D: t
接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
! }' i0 J% N2 F0 v: L& X; ^% Y话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。$ S8 t$ z" E  Q/ b4 X! v! e
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
- j0 v0 ]) s0 fWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
" v- E; z- i; g" W  q2 gHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）: v% ?$ Y5 M" k" j( M3 P: g6 u9 S
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
. j) v8 f- \9 ?3 ]Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
3 K0 b% Q. u0 @4 A3 z) o5 a, AHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）* z9 N- t! K4 f9 s/ V) |( Z  c
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）3 h# [0 a# ?' z0 O; K% @
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）% g& J6 c( Z/ {# ~, \7 R
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
) f5 U7 W, g+ o6 s# d% OMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
: d2 f6 b* D# g8 P% |4 z* V7 r（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）) }. V- s4 X/ |
***********
* I& c+ {3 o3 J- V$ c1 K总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……