《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。" h. \* _$ n7 G, `, a; l6 _
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2 j/ y& j1 O- ?7 ?0 i影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。3 ]; P! H; A0 ]" m' _8 t; a
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
4 W) r/ h6 P) \Holmes: I just picked it up.
* o" N) u2 j+ c2 ^Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）6 m7 R& |. T% W2 H7 d4 @
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
. @2 k2 Q. F% L* s& W: S7 pWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）( |9 |9 w5 _( K( L% z5 O" E
Holmes: You did.
. _/ }- |  ~6 J4 J（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
: g( h1 E' W* w8 qHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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* O6 _! ?* ~  Z2 o2 g宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。8 Z. J* |$ z# o0 e6 g3 U
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
* Y, X  |0 z% f# m0 w- ZHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
1 V- D& @, \9 L- s4 P2 H- xWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）  Y! z1 D8 c% h
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2 Z) L! i& o6 [; \4 Q8 O/ I拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。3 U9 @9 m. n# g. O
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- W$ L) _. P" ]  yWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。. _1 X( U9 _% O9 i/ ^" E
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。8 ]: t, Z- j2 p/ `
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1 \; Q) g2 o& o% w4 m: l$ VBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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- A6 B0 r5 U/ ~8 p  E* MIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
1 Z, w1 o4 w3 l/ B（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）& a7 \. [) H8 _$ r4 v0 Y8 {
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
( F' V/ g9 d& W% J! p& i6 Q) cHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）  D9 {6 H( v$ e
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。4 r" V- U* e/ w! ?. q# j
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
8 H+ U+ c) U5 C' I# cWatson: Get that out of my face.; i. D. l; L  u9 r5 Y
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.$ \* e0 i+ x7 R
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.3 V& Q6 j; Z! M) ~/ W0 N
路人警官Clarky上场。
8 K# l7 N7 x; d1 nClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
8 \1 L% z8 O9 x" n& LHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
) U% X, p! k( I1 ^. |2 V8 `3 l得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
: @7 B% a# s+ Z: n# E$ c: n% j4 XWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
8 s4 t1 \% O& p" h0 @4 T. dHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not." ~2 J2 d, }- j3 m9 ~
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
, |/ w8 K0 @( O8 `8 L! n8 i（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）1 k7 C4 f1 ?4 X( p
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
$ {% j; L" s. G, l' P+ m' xWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）/ d( j$ E5 ^% L# M/ l3 l( U
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。0 n5 j) q5 w; j4 X! W. w
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）6 K# Z. T% C. t1 _, D" X2 l
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
2 _! _" O8 d$ D7 [$ ?% }8 ]5 V/ DWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）6 ~$ u; S  g3 x
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。; b) I3 c9 c/ L, l
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）8 D. r7 h& p8 I3 W+ _$ ]4 J9 W
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。6 \) M. ]: l  @% ?! ?8 d3 j
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
1 a& F! d! F; B% xLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
: g! A. [  B% R: J* H# u& ^话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
+ i3 _2 W- `% }/ D* PHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）4 i5 e8 Z+ }6 ^0 ?
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）, `' H1 r) o& Q& K2 n! w  \
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）+ H# T4 D8 s' w9 s7 d- T2 M9 c
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?. d: Q3 B! e( }! F3 b" z' S' D
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）+ n" q1 ?( f! J) Y7 r
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）! i* j& V2 U3 G3 K+ j( K5 W
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）. B3 {7 E, s: j
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）0 T: ~  w& B- e$ e
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
! W. N5 T) i; ^- T0 ]) a/ mMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
) c) n: U3 z$ b8 F: i3 r) M; F（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）: m  p% \* K) M+ s0 K
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……