《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
. ^0 y( k3 w7 L% }2 L1 Z***********8 \2 Q% y5 x3 E8 K$ `' }) _* Y
1．/ c7 b5 D! d2 k
影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
' J* c0 Z4 P$ {8 t2 {" s% }Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
; h" F$ X' a# q; dHolmes: I just picked it up.  p6 J" H! v6 O) o- S! g$ B
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
: k2 \9 T% p  h1 |7 c1 n( fHolmes: Knew I forgot something.3 g# a- j7 X# H0 x
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
. K( X- R" w3 dHolmes: You did.
3 z" e) K- `# i0 u& t（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）( d/ n6 h/ I$ `2 s7 M/ [* c
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
2 v+ r( r8 V/ C6 f3 \6 s% k/ d2．% X# R- D2 f8 W( z
宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
8 g# ^. @; `4 k! z, rWatson: Permission to enter the armory.6 H9 ?$ T, x% j7 {$ }% q& G
Holmes: Granted.$ E% l2 H/ u  ]
3.
! j# _/ P1 f, Q' N- l晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
, u& r1 U. x4 b3 Y! _* EWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）0 Z5 X5 t4 M4 A! a. v
4．
% B# P3 c# D& t7 O, S2 u/ N拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
" j/ N0 E% T& I5．
+ C5 a3 z- q# r1 a  ?: P; l/ dWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
& ]6 i% \4 C/ X) e7 x( @Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）$ u& h9 N3 s8 I; S2 J
6．
2 r3 D( C+ z+ n9 S& I; sHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
' [* L, F0 ?6 A( s  F4 {9 V7．
0 {& N( O+ I/ `9 c- \8 c( uBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
  Z, v9 I# I# P# L8．4 I: M* ]& R  e- a
Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
: \. [/ f5 T+ j6 u' o（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）5 l2 p! e( `# Y, O; {( j
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
6 P( K- z/ N, o  y6 P! K- C1 EHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）( j. V! |( L. w* W4 e
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.5 K. T/ n1 f1 K( S' N5 }$ z+ x
9．3 J1 O# G, x( a1 C' |
Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。# D& O- Y1 Z, Z! Q3 s
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
9 C2 Z' Q2 X1 Y* w7 B1 HWatson: Get that out of my face.
, E/ n" u/ B+ c# ]Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.. k5 B; H$ \- z4 S- X+ w0 S- W
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.: J& B6 m" l& U( a+ d1 T) `' L
路人警官Clarky上场。
& q+ y- |# F2 rClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
! f. |: }( w) vHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
  ^- Y1 r2 V# Y3 E. j3 d得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
. w2 W' \. T7 @Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
" v" t. b: w+ O8 [& S2 O6 zHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
* U% \! \2 |5 j; G10.
! e, g" X4 p' K1 |: q. N墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
' ]+ v" S& Y( U  D& L( R（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
' F8 X2 R  p; ~5 i# m& q: I( gHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
! u3 U2 k4 h# y0 b/ q  |* o" qWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
2 G& a  w' F5 n  S1 H% ?11．0 P. w0 d0 M" a1 e- `. v; R$ J
河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
% n8 r% e8 a2 W  c/ I  f5 ZHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）4 F0 j% O; V$ U; A2 H. `7 F% e
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…6 P% j! |1 |6 H# c' Q( o* V
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）2 x, o. {4 m  b  A3 ^6 M4 j/ o
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
$ b7 K3 {) J3 xHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）7 N; _6 r) h- t' {6 r& M
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。9 H. `/ S$ h3 o" q+ i# {
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）; }0 A  \0 v; G' H1 ^/ N& T
12．# m5 U- o  \& o) D: b5 u$ o
警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
4 f! X4 d0 U2 Y2 s% QLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
5 ^7 D0 x$ r" w# j- K) i- L8 _& \13.
% W8 ~: [' d, `$ x' \' C% U1 C接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。# o" x( g/ E- w$ ^7 L4 [6 r
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
: x  ?7 {* d7 U5 v  CHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）; b7 t9 f+ U2 v4 r. c% A- W
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）( G' d8 X  `4 e7 P9 I/ p# _; U3 J
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
% p; N! M+ W) d4 I5 ~6 J( A5 yMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?2 E0 r4 Y$ f# n) U6 P
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）+ u4 Z) f) s2 I
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）. r% m' N/ s- r( F3 W; H
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
. a* w9 q; b  }' ]Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
8 |" a9 M$ A7 m& JWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）7 j6 }% X+ x2 v- ^1 U$ ]( c
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）. W. f, U9 u' h/ S/ H; r* S- U# Z
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
' ^1 w& h$ \3 ~3 b# ]4 H8 Q! c***********
( w/ m% ^8 M' e总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……