《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。: k. y( u/ A( k7 I
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" U$ C( r  c9 B( H' z! y影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
/ n3 @4 t  X( {- G: x# w7 HWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）8 v6 L9 v# N+ O! `$ W
Holmes: I just picked it up.
6 [8 A) I, X# Z! e1 uWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）! Y9 w2 @+ G2 z. p0 |) b; I/ |
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.5 v3 `6 }, |) h" A
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
" W/ T+ {8 f4 e7 \6 \4 cHolmes: You did.
2 t, O: }* \8 l3 _（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）3 e; u9 y3 O4 F9 Z' T, Q! e1 d6 x8 z) I
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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" C9 r; V2 P0 S7 J" ]6 n宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
; _# b- d% P" B4 @( rWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
# J3 H# l3 o( l5 C8 `/ O9 h1 w& sHolmes: Granted.
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! m* A5 l( M  X# K晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
0 i% P, E' x' a3 Y$ b% T+ bWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）6 ?$ k, u/ r) d
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% m. m5 a: k. _6 j- m拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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5 {+ z! j& U& q) h) y# @( PWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。9 O4 L* L$ O! U% T! A4 X; K
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）0 M  n/ ]5 v/ P
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* C( T/ o, x9 Y' p: k4 K4 qHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。' g* F4 k; ~9 e5 H! _# ?0 h
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9 @' ^$ E* s9 ^3 M6 @4 jBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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. ?& M; z; ?: M6 P0 {0 @Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。* b6 z" y' w# K0 e# O
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
+ T2 x$ P2 q' R" J! b$ PIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?5 x4 N$ r3 k6 |' n: _8 u, z1 O
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）2 i: Z0 b! G% N2 ?/ H7 ^. c
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.3 O8 T$ Y, `2 S1 N4 Q
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8 o: J: ~$ {3 |Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。3 u( o$ j! x4 @1 Y& ^: v4 O
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）: N& J& C0 t! @. [- ~
Watson: Get that out of my face.4 O. d4 j, A; E/ X: T5 f
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.1 C6 U) Z5 V" a3 U
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.( e- w7 I8 h& n7 ]' L
路人警官Clarky上场。" V  k* C. |7 e: ]- Z
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
3 l3 S& {, N( oHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
% {: W# k- s" w$ w( C& i' a% f得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
& C1 e- c+ S5 ?+ a/ B* r& q8 U  }  lWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?7 O) U$ P/ c* E) ~
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.) g3 l5 I. Y2 R5 \' i+ I
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0 R& x9 [$ F5 v墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
0 m& y' K" {6 E6 G$ ?! R（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
1 O) [- M$ I+ YHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
9 H! Q% Z( S0 x7 c, sWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）' f- {1 E7 g) Q& c6 T
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# ^8 f3 R5 }0 W. H河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
* Z& [* {8 b8 F. w6 `Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）6 X9 R1 u3 l( P& \
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
( n- J6 ^4 {1 n7 gWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）$ M" S4 N) ]" I! ~$ G+ [
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。2 }, L4 a) T3 ?, g; M3 J* A) S
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）% N. D! q8 M  c0 N7 v4 R' Y* M8 W
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
/ e( t' N; Y+ tHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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) W/ l/ w2 @( \. u+ j9 G3 L  M警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。* ?8 n: ]1 U, C1 @9 A
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。" w5 Z/ i2 C% F
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。( V/ X' h6 A2 Q1 i! B5 _
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）# B1 B3 D3 `9 x( e$ N, n4 R+ t
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）2 \! C' e  c7 R4 P; @2 x7 y
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）/ {1 S. b! K8 v/ u. @9 f3 Y. }
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
, `) h' J& J4 D  G% }0 WWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）$ v$ c8 R  e2 |6 X
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）3 q: S, r0 d+ o+ z+ \  V1 S
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
" k1 ~8 B8 [, UHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）$ r1 Y, H1 c3 q, Q, r: G; N
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）: f5 ]7 G9 T6 E# }5 S- F) s
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
# B; F, f" V9 n" C% L$ Y6 r（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）7 I' D7 f8 U0 k. I
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% L$ ?2 ^8 f1 w4 Y: k" u总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……