《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。) p/ X' }5 r  g$ \: i& {% z
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。' u- j$ N  `1 Q3 N% s
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
0 }0 |* x9 }+ L# m: iHolmes: I just picked it up.1 _, i( T# N# f  T. i
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）% w: s' t0 h8 }$ f! K$ k4 }. v1 S: t9 @
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
3 L' A2 T+ B( E0 |7 xWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）3 G3 s  a+ e) H0 N1 R
Holmes: You did.
6 ~9 u* W: L$ ]6 y) C5 S% \（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）; O1 x! |% ~1 n6 d* @/ j
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.9 P% K& l. B' a, |& ?1 N* B8 D
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
9 U% l2 C: A0 ~8 m" ?( }Watson: Permission to enter the armory.4 C# x/ C) ~. W& I1 |
Holmes: Granted.. |4 P" a* R5 l" D8 P4 H1 p
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- e$ C" s* A( R  S& ^( J晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。- y: O* F+ ?* A% Z
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）  x- @% s2 M- b
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。; A5 S6 q2 N" k- w* i. B5 ]
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
  _0 o& J- Q5 O- gWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。8 |8 p. o- w1 Q' _3 y
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。* k1 ]: Q' ]; x
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。; C: o0 K0 T3 u. W
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）. M' G, J' u3 \) k: o
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?3 u$ Y9 h8 A, J
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）" R9 d1 e$ d, q" c
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.! d7 G6 a+ C4 x8 f# c
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, ]2 I1 C  O9 Y4 N; Z6 c# J. gIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
1 x/ T2 b) _; r. yHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）. q! G* Z# z6 W
Watson: Get that out of my face.4 E6 Q: b! \& C6 p+ Y
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.) c3 C) q0 [0 J$ e- `
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.  m5 L, E3 h/ C) E( W
路人警官Clarky上场。  t' G: F4 a7 ?7 C* A1 S: x
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
; b) z; X- d' A% v- I2 z& ]Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）/ o5 H$ @2 Q$ G0 S: Z- Z  V' `
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。' D/ R* b* V- N. ^  d6 S7 E
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
/ x2 A/ N( I' g& n1 [" s5 S) bHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not." n9 l, D# t# Y: F8 O( X
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8 d" O" X+ k4 d$ d/ l; f. N' l2 Z墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
4 T/ T6 H/ y+ q- N2 G（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）7 v5 S& s1 K% q" D" M3 j! S. y
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.: h7 B2 O- h% r) v5 f) E- X
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。) r, _2 C" M% k) y: L- C( T
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
. X6 o2 w8 }( t/ q3 g- l; bBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
5 u7 e& E3 ]. H# D: H, oWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）7 @6 Q2 H1 T$ {; F. `. b* B- r
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
9 n2 h6 F" O  z3 r; cHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
+ q) H9 G4 Q& f$ A' f4 l后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
8 e: R  t0 `2 p# AHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
7 \" s; |6 z% k2 ^- x3 Z! [. xLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.& a3 A# @. t, C7 F' Y8 y9 c, d6 ?
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% z, R+ i) N: b/ [, P& @3 o' G* T6 W接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
* s8 ^' l# H7 H6 _话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
8 n4 d8 Y! K1 ]! qHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）6 [6 y; p7 E( I& W: P
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）: Y6 [( K3 r0 {% r' o
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
2 m" o1 ~) N8 zMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?  L, K3 U9 q, F  T
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）& f2 \' J, }  r1 H4 D& o
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）  ]1 x$ k* a0 \
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
" t! W+ T5 Y- A! c- JHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）- {- W% ]* ?, Y( I2 R# S) X
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
' j# T6 b% @; W. A2 oMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）0 ^1 e! H5 _+ h$ P( T
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）; [7 n% x3 S, x- J
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" y* ^  w4 \& V) D总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……