《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。* a: H5 Z; q: p: \4 X( f
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
- y% i; U  N8 i/ S7 TWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
0 ^: S! i- m% I9 l4 K. C! U: ?Holmes: I just picked it up.
3 P" ^7 t+ g' FWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）6 H) k% C- y0 M* K/ l. h6 j6 L8 }
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.$ f" f0 \  u! X  H7 D9 C! l. ?
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）( k% _1 O# q, i& g0 J7 Z4 C
Holmes: You did.
2 u; V0 f! H8 V( U（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）) j5 l& j+ v3 o8 h1 O
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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! x8 C3 r$ r0 s. h) j  s0 l宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
1 @/ V2 p: O5 [1 sWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
# v) U- [: z. q3 dHolmes: Granted.
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7 u% v' H- v# W3 u& a& Y$ W8 F  U晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
- Z* l& `5 m/ ^2 ?. U2 N+ e& uWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）( t3 B+ L6 ^7 g4 G3 p1 }) C
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。0 Z. T. c4 H! {. x( D& e  B& K
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）; s! X; k: G; H6 U, {; X
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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1 M8 Q+ f( n2 ~' d& {Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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9 F' R. _. H- H3 S5 eIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。: c" K  p' V; Y+ Z2 @" t
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）3 \3 t6 `# M' o7 w
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?& `" s) f7 a& Z& _7 B
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
8 c( ^- r: C1 j: x+ z; }8 J* nIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.% F7 m7 R" ?; l6 h
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
$ A& i1 F! U: ]; V5 CHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）9 ~6 W$ c( f- g
Watson: Get that out of my face.# E& U) [; t  L- g+ W0 O
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.8 ]1 M2 H: }! e4 Z: S
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.8 b6 ]) j3 c7 ^
路人警官Clarky上场。9 B/ }" m) U! M  R  z
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
- q# F" x8 e7 ~: b% VHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）' a2 ~3 ~# H& r' J
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。, \. ?5 d0 S5 l' R6 \) q) s
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
+ [. y% M8 q- a0 X3 B; l* a. DHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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& L+ l* R9 q6 \墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。0 o' s1 e+ Y7 `' T3 n# Q
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
& H! m; p; R+ H+ V) Y$ sHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
0 h: i6 Q: t& `  u- v/ `& LWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）+ M* |, H6 p- ]1 Y1 j  ]
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
; ^  e. u0 E& d0 XHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
; ^3 ]2 ~  v& _+ u8 vBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
. Z2 p2 J$ {/ P: F& j* mWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）' o, E, r) V+ ]9 y. W6 o( n  x! C
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
( F" I" e) N7 r* s. `& o4 JHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）: q) n3 @$ j* H# }: t* q5 h
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
6 j% T% F, r, o: {! QHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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% s$ F, W8 {6 ~/ r6 _/ A- h; M警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
( h; ]* B5 n0 h. @Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.2 \. d8 L( k3 N9 i* m- i
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' h4 k1 c6 D: [* S2 z) p+ m接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
0 r7 w/ E) d0 c6 v话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。# R+ B6 H* B% U, j, x$ K. n6 R
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）$ j6 W' }/ s% \5 Z& M
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）" _  ^  X2 Q/ O% e) t  D
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
  M2 l- Y2 ^( u$ fMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?" j+ s* M/ n0 p8 U2 R
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
7 l( @3 S8 A: F6 hHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
+ B* [8 ?' e4 q+ TWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）8 ?% S) R: c, C
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
3 z6 V- V7 h8 I* L6 oWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）4 r% L: O2 b6 }: L; j' X! i1 r' e
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）. {9 J: z, \2 C, h- w  X
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）4 D9 w+ _: F8 @  Y
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……