《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。' j( F: }2 \* J. S$ ]3 e0 t+ R; C' o. ~
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
  O$ M7 R6 H. W. X! }" ]Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）: y$ f/ N, W2 g. I6 _3 E
Holmes: I just picked it up.
1 [( R& N% X: i6 b; @Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）: w* Y8 r& c$ w& H7 ?( i1 t
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.4 w, ~+ @" H, X7 h& I
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
# z# {1 T8 }) O; r* DHolmes: You did.2 f& I  o3 w; i) o( L
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）1 J! C$ i% j& q' k6 a' \" D
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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6 B) z& L+ [9 X* e9 q4 i) j2 B4 X宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
9 G" X9 L0 g2 OWatson: Permission to enter the armory.! t9 s4 N1 _. e2 u* M  \3 P: K
Holmes: Granted.1 |* P% V: v" ]9 ?: c
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。5 e* H% O) ?$ h) o% _7 g, X3 K
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。+ U/ ]7 }1 s7 y, B
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! V! G# ]& f) s) ^! i( e' q& t. x1 \Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。4 m' p1 A" c6 w4 ~$ W2 d. ^' M
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）' ]& T9 b$ o0 o1 K- q+ x! D; E1 {- A
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4 Z* E" y+ l/ d8 t# dHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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: H+ p6 S) B* G( e$ |  y2 x1 ABlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。% f1 b  n& k0 _8 K4 e  R2 g( p
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; ^# G9 g' j# M# E6 D- B6 R0 X8 pIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?$ ?4 e# ?5 n' _) z) ?
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）7 W4 w$ V) V3 W" p4 [: A  W- K
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.5 u" z; V4 `$ c# k) `) c" {
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
; B, _' F2 A# i: F+ X; hHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）  Q1 [' m8 `  o  u6 C
Watson: Get that out of my face.
3 a1 X+ g  N" M$ P& AHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
% u3 f! f3 v+ a+ W' t6 S2 L( mWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.% _$ d, T4 [: E. [' `+ z$ T
路人警官Clarky上场。
0 W2 Q& z  r1 C3 A' MClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.4 J7 E9 ^1 m4 Q
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
, B% v1 @  Q3 Q2 o: @' J, t得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
6 \* ~9 U1 p4 O, C0 v$ NWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
, \8 C3 @% x2 a! u4 j& ?Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.$ D! I8 ?  l/ B
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! |; A' v! q. s墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。# n* ?2 ?  ?( {; l+ C$ \
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）+ Q2 f' V. n( G3 Z+ s  F
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
& u6 y, F8 U4 ?8 YWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
. |6 F7 \- z( J* DHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）0 u0 i* P, u8 V" h* Y5 O
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…4 j6 `" v9 i6 F/ H; f$ U. L
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
! }# A9 w) G9 ?死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。, N1 G6 E9 x& w& q
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）  i0 X5 M( D. S; j
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。% @1 g- Z  M# v
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）8 k  X. d8 c  }6 T3 W$ B  i
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* m  K* _( J( Y1 M警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
" z4 f5 L  ~5 }! d, vLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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6 W! a0 [4 k" o% n* t/ x4 |接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。2 _. c- |9 ^) f; Y4 A. l
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。8 e/ d0 I2 z, i
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）6 `* E) v: D' x3 L/ H
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）" B$ J. n: g2 O1 E* E$ @
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
: T5 X. n8 m" o" ~+ p+ y  }Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
  W2 z4 A4 j2 r2 q- \Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
+ T* ?. l7 O/ N& h4 D6 k1 k/ m/ gHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）1 s7 v, ^# p7 P# h+ m/ w/ ]4 n
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
3 ?, Q7 ?9 f/ ?9 M% p& {2 pHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）6 U: q2 M: u, U' I* }0 a
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
7 ~4 D; q: o; tMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）+ W( I5 e: Q7 c1 p% A; ]7 w3 E7 P' Q
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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5 t5 f1 d* t. c) n% Y总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……