《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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+ H6 d3 u' j3 M3 @' v; t影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。4 \: P* a1 p. J
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
5 i5 o, h  o9 R  K* aHolmes: I just picked it up.
) H2 R. s, v7 F6 c5 b; I- B/ `Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）- T' q- j/ m! C, X3 w2 V  x
Holmes: Knew I forgot something./ K, `/ H) F( n4 t1 Y
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）" U4 F  B% l3 {
Holmes: You did.
5 z4 [; K0 D, h, z1 G' e（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
0 F3 Z# j) G5 Q/ i. V) cHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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1 y% w" E% F  T; U宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
6 x/ T# }4 c! U. X9 W9 }Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
/ {8 S" f7 X! F0 Z8 H1 THolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
8 ^. M. a4 s0 J2 R5 t) M9 vWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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" ?9 Q6 `% L. n8 l0 b0 Y1 {" x- ~拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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* l" G4 @" y% u6 Z( K7 {Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。9 p+ h5 b% h- }  `( j# V& j
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。5 T; ^/ `% J/ I' _, K5 b
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
- r" `8 D, B% z# HIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
5 I' v4 g6 `$ _& X' QHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
6 U% p# n4 _5 B% hIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.- Y* B. x  c, v5 m5 z9 K! c; j
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。* m  n/ {0 T, G2 }
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
% b+ n7 J/ V- }" _Watson: Get that out of my face.
1 u$ _0 x  |0 Q# wHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
  M8 r& u# z8 w! ^Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.6 c; S! [! E+ R9 F, D' u
路人警官Clarky上场。
" [# }) x3 G# g% {0 [Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.& r0 y0 l7 ]; K( p6 B  ~+ B
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）/ j5 Z1 r# @: F# o( x+ W- V$ F
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
2 ^4 c4 S% O* B  R5 m$ G$ ]Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
) [* [4 n  c" B( a/ IHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.; \) X" r  P! |; y3 Y5 ]4 G
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3 q# @3 a  T5 r3 c0 {1 L: X墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。7 |+ S6 E( X# y3 ~% P: e
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
) z3 k1 j5 c6 `' Z! p. f& M. HHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.& p5 z/ {2 w; }: ^
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。3 e( _" \2 w6 r; B5 P: M+ d
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
* V# o5 A9 S# \/ G& A6 o' C: DBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
. s6 m0 q4 e0 JWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）2 a# ^% e' [3 L( o5 p9 k
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
# O: V% N. O% C$ O9 A: k# b0 dHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
" d! r% t2 ~2 ?# p  r/ T后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。) k2 S& T  c1 f2 P6 K& V
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）' k# S! G% ?) T6 v! ~% n
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7 p( b" L# X. B警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。/ v) ~5 u6 ]9 a$ P
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.# J4 D& X8 K5 F; V: q
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
8 X# @0 s5 j1 `9 a5 O) T! {, e# X+ b话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。5 e% {( O6 j8 I. z- u2 p. Q
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
0 J; U4 E* x; F9 M  g( qWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）7 F) [3 V4 T+ d$ }
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）5 R7 r* C) w5 G) P
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?: Z& O  f, t: w! {0 w6 `
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）- m% F4 j8 C& V
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
% `/ E' H5 {9 GWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）% p0 [& N  }4 A, w/ D( Y
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
0 q, [  C- ~0 L) ^Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
7 j3 J1 X- G; n+ f- R5 l  PMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）( T9 b" C3 R! f$ m4 J7 I! f
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……