《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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  O  ]+ B) D: k5 X7 A影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。3 k" L+ D9 ^) w9 N0 N1 O
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
& _8 ~; J, [6 x& o) aHolmes: I just picked it up.
5 B0 u' a9 T# l( I: L6 n! qWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）6 @$ _% t" |+ h: [' ]( ?, A
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
  @6 {4 z+ b7 x) C8 k! jWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
! @5 X0 T% o) w5 m' x' i- `Holmes: You did.' ]5 l* m1 O# U) c% d
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）. r2 u) N1 ^- j* b" C; `) @0 f
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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  L& W$ }+ }/ @( t3 O宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。6 P; M  @1 z# u' [! T4 s1 J
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
0 l1 v6 a( A/ Q7 LHolmes: Granted.1 N9 O: ?* ~' g+ C# V
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。! y( \* K1 t8 ^- K3 d9 z. G
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。. b$ N# I' ]" U: r
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
5 e7 T& d+ E0 J0 C  S" G, @Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。4 Z* i( _) ~, X* [5 _0 |
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4 c# e3 w' ~" H) X5 |* dBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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9 ^( F: G3 Q& M9 I. t" Q( uIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。8 Z0 ^5 a" C* ]) _6 L0 q  _
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
2 V" k0 q  \' RIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
4 Q4 ?7 T7 M5 LHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）! [- l0 ]3 ?9 d- e3 w" L. G
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.. o7 c1 H1 O5 I
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。+ u0 R0 F" ?9 ], l. u
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）7 n. G) Z5 F( b2 t* U; b0 X% J7 ]
Watson: Get that out of my face.; R7 x% R! ^& e, T4 k+ K
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.  O2 G( E" s) J
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
/ `3 j6 Q5 @6 Y$ O' w% I6 Z路人警官Clarky上场。
% P5 i& \& `' l7 q4 G# m0 m* }Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.2 X( B# q( c, w; Y
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）$ k4 ^; b+ u3 I2 Q0 ^+ _2 }
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。& A0 I6 Y6 i9 Q. \2 e, \! R
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?8 `" t3 A8 D( J) ]8 P
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。# Y" H' e+ k, [, m3 s$ c3 ?4 R7 m
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
7 v( K. x( h, v6 y/ N. aHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.& [8 m+ t: T0 T8 P
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）, |9 J/ A+ W$ D6 J- |% f
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$ }3 v6 M, ^' o6 _河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。/ r0 @0 K0 `, J# I
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）/ c4 O- _  [' P: K, y4 F
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…- P8 U1 [0 z$ R: _$ ~$ L
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）) n; `' O  |5 @
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
3 X% d8 @% N  e: j& p* M& FHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
* l% H" N! ^+ K' ~9 {  Z后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。' x" _) a+ k# `  N: W) E5 M. \
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）( _! I( W# `( X/ N
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。0 u( ]# I2 H9 D8 [. u6 F0 r
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。  C$ A0 Y( g) |& F! P/ a1 [
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
1 B3 |/ Y) P" M2 L+ tHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）: v4 ]* s6 h! c8 ?3 H0 {: o
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
/ V& I" a  g4 E* ?( }" G2 hHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
6 A6 u& t. y" x4 G5 nMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?' W- k# u, h$ h/ L
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
! u% |# c/ B1 b8 b9 G$ S8 cHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
, O# R' |, P! I- l5 wWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）+ E3 r( A" ~2 Y% W. @6 w
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
8 g- T$ T* K& n- K7 o- ]Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）& M1 C1 S* P) r$ \9 _/ h7 G
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
0 F4 b/ D0 i0 D2 v: a（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……