《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。4 j- f7 D6 k8 s4 o$ }  [  H
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; R+ h# T1 B! x# ^影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
1 M5 z% E0 v) F% D/ lWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）, p; s9 P- e5 P  ^3 a) D
Holmes: I just picked it up.
; d, y# f/ O( nWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）% \! l# [" y% Z6 R' W4 `
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
$ ]& d9 X' E. w7 n5 o: KWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）7 X; E, W2 d1 U) n/ Y
Holmes: You did.
# B  b* J1 g8 Q& \（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
! S. z# t. C) M9 yHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
2 O5 b8 e) h( c+ dWatson: Permission to enter the armory.  N1 C& O4 d2 B! N: e# s$ c/ m) p
Holmes: Granted.3 V  A) U# n8 }! f  t  y
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7 R3 u$ }# w# O( I* |! Y! C晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。3 E5 R8 z6 M1 D( r6 {
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）$ W8 V. z% u. v- w: z
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% j3 w6 c  P+ h+ F+ h拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
# f0 e4 r" l, k/ }6 dWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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% v% L- w( t6 d1 R+ }/ ^Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。& B* g1 D6 f2 L# M& d
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( N4 O2 K" q1 F/ I; c- |$ rIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。+ L7 i  c: G# C) w( \3 a
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
9 z& j! d9 a8 wIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?7 u2 ?3 b: h* h$ W
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）; u" G7 @+ l" \. g- m/ G9 k
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.4 k8 I' v5 N+ V! o4 i; e
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。% H( ~; X  M1 g
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
% [1 g. X: J; \; [! J# HWatson: Get that out of my face.1 \. u. p- {5 f; `/ @0 U% q' E
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
2 `5 n" _: s6 O0 z1 UWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.: c  Q  v& w# L) {, m& g% J
路人警官Clarky上场。1 X  [8 D/ t0 T$ ^& e7 [
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
) r6 [+ I( K5 p9 E/ U7 qHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
7 e6 l& {6 h& D( P" ]得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
- a2 `2 Y9 V0 o9 HWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
  ^; r% N; M7 x* DHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
6 P! w  n) j" l8 l. C（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）  I1 ?" a: q4 l) K6 ?: H3 [
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
$ q: t3 c& l( S5 i$ WWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。) x) s' C- [( f: t- ^
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）9 e) Z9 l8 k+ X
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…7 I( v4 E3 z  i8 e7 H$ z5 F
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
& Q5 z3 z# ?8 _9 i死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
0 O3 n! _+ h. _; vHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
/ D; M' U& L* @# T. R后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
4 j; U) c. d; w; y4 M, T. z' T' a! e6 SHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）9 p2 |3 d( K+ ~/ M% V8 l; W" m/ k
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, ?$ o6 y4 f! _& J# U警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
1 Y2 a$ @( f9 `Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.; ^9 s; p. I, I! A% c% ]
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。0 v* M$ k/ R2 L: J+ X% X7 `
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
: h1 J" b0 v, XHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）+ r: l9 M, I, t, E
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）# v9 Z- D& }" ~5 s# M, o& x# j
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）6 m. h9 e- ^3 f* e- C0 n9 `
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?4 r6 Y8 i5 Z7 m% s0 m- l
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）/ E4 b# [$ V) s' c# Z8 t
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）- A; _. k, A. ^0 U$ u) y$ F
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）$ H1 s- _6 ]- y2 J' U8 U; P" @
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
  Z: d  x* }8 JWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
+ K, x; P$ {9 z. WMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
3 n  ^6 L5 Y' S" M) S) e; ^- }1 i7 s（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）' P( {. `, Y+ D- O
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. c# W+ m0 ?: z总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……