《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。: z5 D" e% o  W% ]) N- }
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3 k+ n1 i2 {( L* m" t! q影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
! ^0 x9 g2 T) _/ D/ OWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
, t) k" U* j- I; pHolmes: I just picked it up.
, ~, U/ L$ L* J9 `  YWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）! o1 m1 X' ]. m9 O( _
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
5 \/ D; o) b9 D9 s% ]Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
6 u2 s5 F% }  G  u$ J: q5 eHolmes: You did.
; v+ R  h: n  s8 z. [（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
4 q" [8 n" i+ \' q8 V/ f" `4 Y( IHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.+ k/ h6 Q4 B, @" o# F" r
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* R: J" T5 p. w; W宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
7 P3 n" Y( ~4 R; r% w* v/ f' {4 }Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
) y6 B& r1 X6 _3 b+ F+ m" oHolmes: Granted.7 |+ j1 D# h+ m
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
: Z* M2 K; P, Y) e, u1 K% PWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）" A6 Q/ }  e2 }6 [# b8 c2 W, e
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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& y- C0 B% N) X" V  oWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。2 E' o- J- _# n9 n; _: {
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）" Z3 _7 \* w- d! z6 ^; Q4 L
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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$ t+ H4 ~! k. \- d* ]5 X# eBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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% Y* w* G2 I. H  h" dIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?6 b$ w/ L" H; _' i' E* [, a
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）5 Q& |2 W" c4 s6 S3 L* X* h
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.3 t! ~+ H, m. M& E  F( n- D& F
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
/ c1 U/ Z4 R! u+ ], q- P% KHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
4 O/ A- w, w3 l9 q, uWatson: Get that out of my face.
3 o7 f5 r5 V/ I/ [Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
2 t9 z5 t8 T+ ~2 x; aWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.8 b. _  W6 h9 K7 ~8 N) _( A, }* s
路人警官Clarky上场。. I4 ?1 z. E( e3 W5 T: G2 o5 F- W
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.: M: g( z$ q) w; [9 \9 C
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）6 F7 f! n! Y0 m% K+ d% B5 U
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
0 r/ T. D# `$ f1 h- AWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
; X0 j7 G! \% t* Q6 UHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.9 X! _" T& v7 h/ u1 ?8 {) H% R% d
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。+ T! u3 W: a; W/ k
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）* I6 E; r- [8 |
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.  N$ G8 E  F6 \0 m" }, A- C  m
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
1 [, R6 C$ Y" }& _9 X* I+ ^0 P, @Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
6 s  S( q9 k: A8 g4 E& ^Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
. C; N( o: c: N  r; V1 mWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）3 _+ i+ D5 Q+ P  d
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。# f' y( B/ j1 i4 B' [/ S
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）8 A6 }3 y1 ]% F' x4 b
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
% U& H1 I0 R( A! _- m- DHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）/ E7 i/ c$ \( p1 Y5 l& w" L
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5 s6 V4 n/ [* ~) {4 e0 h警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。* f: u( U  Q. d6 _
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
' G! S' w- f) i7 y! i0 [2 D$ H话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
' N: T* j: u- K( m: ?1 c- C$ tHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）$ \1 u: ^3 f7 E: e2 Y6 C
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
" l/ G0 ]' a3 X" I7 C" P" k/ PHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
$ ^2 F/ z. _# t* a9 m' dMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
( b; j; ]+ |6 k4 ^0 k( SWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）: U3 r+ _/ R) h7 u  m9 S* R8 b' i8 J
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
* g4 n( }$ D) d1 z( j8 v( @Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
1 ^5 T! }. S- i+ ^  Y" \# {Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）' n& ^% b/ Y0 N7 k
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）9 u5 P  l% K: w( |* c
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
( _  _: O. l4 u, |( z（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……