《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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. @3 @$ I9 n! f9 Z( B7 \影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。2 h2 j+ P, D' F, X: ]1 R; G" Z* y' d  E
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
9 s4 W3 C' D  A- N* YHolmes: I just picked it up.1 L$ O) `0 N' l! r7 j
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）) H# ]3 q0 L9 l7 C
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
4 q$ E* Z! v  r2 Q9 w' b" NWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
- M5 n) ]# s: vHolmes: You did.
% x6 b# [0 ], `（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）; V, M0 Q" M  j, W
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.' _# Z5 G3 Q( m" e/ ?3 N
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! r8 V8 X# N6 p. [$ {- P宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。2 K2 a. y( {, `1 E4 f# T$ a0 T1 m
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
2 r3 X! u  `( x, THolmes: Granted.' n! @$ [) m5 D( o" F. m4 G5 r3 D
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。$ {2 ?# R% F1 b  {; d! [
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）3 G. ?2 [$ j( y2 J/ ^
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. y( R' x: W, w拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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/ d3 Q% d$ k  f# uWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
# E* w1 s& N2 j' L; k( H4 NWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）! c2 m- O+ X, J/ H! s0 X9 o; I- g. H. E
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- |" W) }, ]+ |1 t; K5 a5 WHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。, {! `- p2 z9 u8 z% c
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' `" g3 ~' S, }# B8 L6 DBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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; D) K% L: h+ M$ L0 _5 [Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
! N2 Q$ N0 {# X8 @（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）. ^# a" k. o+ Z8 _
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
( @+ H" Z( [& S. aHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
  G* |2 U0 q  O8 r  eIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.9 }5 l$ Y. r. I: r! ]& N
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6 a" |$ T. s# z4 b- d7 }8 mIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。' U. e- [" q& _' J
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
8 @1 s- k9 G0 S; `Watson: Get that out of my face.
3 }0 ~& m  g* A+ nHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
2 F8 f2 f, Z7 \, ]& H2 PWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
( G9 k9 [. }5 d路人警官Clarky上场。. n9 }( t7 j& S% f
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
7 R2 c1 W7 k- j( F9 @- XHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）  I" C7 y' }" s8 t7 P' L0 d( O+ I& n
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
8 s9 E1 G; `' h, I9 wWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?* l& z: v7 s- w0 N$ a" R
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.3 z: G4 ?& ~2 X# Z( H" T
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! s0 a2 a6 R' B$ n墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。3 r5 w! I, x3 w7 m
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
) [" \% m. |6 L6 }: sHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
3 R3 e! f6 U; W4 MWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。0 Z% X2 q2 G, i  R5 x
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
: S6 n9 O! h! D' s( _Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
% b7 \3 S' J8 c' v' _$ {Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）- |/ z) y8 V7 _. P: e
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。0 Y! E% b8 g. {- W; {) M
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
0 W. b5 }- q2 C( K! O8 y; H( z后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。. r- P& n) [3 Z1 t6 W6 L
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。5 a+ E* V' U. b; M  c
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.! {$ i8 j$ z7 L) F1 i
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
  T' Y9 g+ Q; f, q话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。' ]& z6 z/ ~' v/ u, C
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
; Z, ^4 u4 O9 vWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
; z( M2 y  s" _2 j/ ]+ C( p, W, aHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）. h  @5 R- y# y7 v" E9 a6 l8 f
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?; h4 }8 O( A% P3 P' [; }1 S
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）( j( J9 i0 y* x3 i& l
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
9 [4 s2 u" T7 h; G; W9 vWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）7 ]& ]/ A/ o$ `4 o( S
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
& a7 Z# a( |4 ^2 g5 mWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
* r9 }8 O: r9 R- h, w/ zMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）7 T1 a- ]4 F# L5 d. [* F% e
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……