《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。& B# Z; k2 z. d, Z! f
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9 d0 E9 t7 n5 p0 r影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
, }2 ^: S" D5 f* wWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
3 J$ U' a) }) T3 G1 |1 ~/ W0 RHolmes: I just picked it up.
. m1 T$ b7 L* k" ^Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
' }% L! X' Y+ dHolmes: Knew I forgot something.3 Q9 D6 a* K! p  t$ X
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）! f4 y2 c! M6 }$ E' C
Holmes: You did.
5 y+ ?$ }3 x4 S4 R; l  k0 W% I8 o) F（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）: e* i0 x" V2 ?
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.  W/ V# B; u. G# C
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# `/ P4 L+ O% B) u2 s7 ^3 i( P宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
9 `5 M5 F$ B9 O# y/ T6 J- ^Watson: Permission to enter the armory.: D; L: U7 ~# ], j- s, ?
Holmes: Granted.7 A/ @. B1 u. C2 U0 X; ^
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
1 N2 M7 N3 `) ^# `" M0 }Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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. ^1 ~8 _4 Y2 i7 ?1 O- V拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。* P- p7 t$ E1 X
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
9 H: ~& I% M% m5 M8 wWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）9 z7 [4 o: ~7 x' {3 c9 q
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! _; U1 j* [' ~# S$ ^Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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. k# K4 z+ e) [- `; E: A5 ~& e# }Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。8 e/ c, E" j! v- o/ |; c
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）) W* D1 b6 ]& e6 E2 }
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?/ D+ S  V' n* P# ~. \
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）( ~8 {- R4 P( p6 Y; J8 @
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。  ?5 f: X& w8 w+ a' w5 ]
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）# ?: z. P2 J# I0 l1 u
Watson: Get that out of my face.
; D; t, R. k! }Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.6 F0 l* C9 G; B4 p) N1 N7 W! Y
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.: Z# M& B: w2 Y+ G
路人警官Clarky上场。
: d& L; F  j9 \: Q& T6 A! k. D3 nClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.7 d3 h: x4 L8 u) {. V9 m
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
/ R) C' \2 M; m1 B得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。% p8 _* X: V) u3 p6 @0 }' c' c
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
! y0 M- H% L+ w) A7 s# kHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.# L$ ]# y( e5 f. v$ b
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
" s+ a( n% f6 L# u- `6 v3 @( Q（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
+ i9 P, U) g8 K, q/ L$ K: QHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
7 {" c- l6 T1 c/ S  C0 lWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）. [' J9 z4 j: d
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) w, N( J) ~$ A) s: L# A9 f河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。" l/ a) E% ?" Y( }8 n% x6 O2 O
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）. ?- w4 B& O5 e# a
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
2 G1 _& U8 {$ o0 E. ~Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
! ]) ?7 p  g1 M/ S/ v3 l死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。4 R9 V: h/ P1 i5 u" Z
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）0 `0 e: W4 @! g+ @" f6 Z: A5 l* h# Y% F% w
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。4 Q+ r' f4 ~& ?4 g5 Y. v
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）1 [% k& _7 _: U- q/ @
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5 X; e9 M/ Q3 s) z) W警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
9 ~& W, Z" [% v  w. O7 bLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。+ I& U3 J( t2 U- c5 U' m, g
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
% Z1 ~; D* W3 }  b& G+ PHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
* @- M) Q  [4 V5 h6 ]Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）/ q$ {2 t( h6 E& ^' H1 k* h* O
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
" e2 N, D# D0 G1 MMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?8 K. {3 l4 i% g
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
$ }& u  h3 S9 g3 X# O6 u" eHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
( B5 h1 l4 a$ }( Z2 k# oWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）6 B+ H& u0 [1 F4 g* X
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）6 u) N# J& K: O( B) U& l0 J1 |, B
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
" M! G3 U9 o5 l+ p+ ~8 H8 }% \5 ]4 ?Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）3 ~. k# g8 t, V. d; {
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……