 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 2 e+ n) K6 Z, l& U( @
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 6 G+ J5 u5 v4 l9 u
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) ! C o& U& O- K r+ @, D0 T" L$ ?
Holmes: I just picked it up.% k& h1 K2 D3 [: X4 d7 O y, f
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
9 c; O+ G% H9 |8 jHolmes: Knew I forgot something.& ]$ H8 X2 \8 z) w: |
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
6 y/ c2 N. r: uHolmes: You did.
+ g+ W4 z9 {7 g/ p' S0 t; d# `(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) 0 f7 {; m# h" ~% s& d; ]
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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# u& D& d- c& o- I& b宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 * B9 B3 @4 d/ I; q: s
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
& b" ~5 l0 z1 M" W; e0 {! Z* ]Holmes: Granted.
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9 p& T/ ^, L; V* b9 @' ~晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 3 H1 t4 d& r* }. r% ]* T, Z1 m
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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8 G0 @; ?7 i6 M7 G拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 # m. P" f& N. e
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- W3 ~: c) ]" V/ w! O# V1 K5 C: r9 SWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 4 w* @* l# f, B, f/ x
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) ! t0 K: t' _: X$ A( N
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# q2 x9 J4 W% W! x( H+ v. ~9 YHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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1 ^. L# h. D) u& O5 S: `0 C, Q: y$ L6 GBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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9 a% \4 K* v' i: B! R7 ^" IIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
0 C' c7 c6 G, B( }- w6 |( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
2 {4 }3 \- n( @/ E1 l6 pIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?- M) K1 H* u) d% ?5 W, _
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
: S. X( j' u: j' p+ DIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.3 V5 L' k C" H2 l4 }3 E
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) w3 m1 Y! V; N4 m2 `Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
6 u" b2 M& u' XHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) Y( L9 g7 c6 \$ K/ y
Watson: Get that out of my face.
# I$ J% J ?# n/ |) N2 _Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.$ d; O O4 [6 M L5 z9 G
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face./ z$ N, H2 K; Z. U1 s, a
路人警官 Clarky上场。 2 R1 d; T$ |* i3 o) r
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
7 x- h4 ^# E: P9 Y# `% J3 t7 AHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) 7 f8 [3 h: a8 ^ l/ T9 k6 ?* _
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 - \# E' B* |* r8 w" h; T3 {7 o" C
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
- [' c" h4 y" |0 VHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.- c% p+ t! j; U5 U. i
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
2 Q3 a% O9 [ O) W5 U. q: _) T( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
4 e. ?4 J# O) eHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
$ u% d) K% R, I# z4 GWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) ! @' q1 ~. D+ W( H* F
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
) F! V# U7 o( L* ]% lHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 2 t( m+ k0 W% h8 E! u+ h* H
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
0 ?8 \5 ]9 o- [/ e4 M# ]Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 1 h) j1 m" a! x% E, w6 @ s
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
" n7 i( _7 B8 u+ n6 b# a2 `3 ^Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) + G' Y9 L& t+ E! k/ L# y
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 ( {% N: h4 c, F/ C) l7 x5 E$ O3 ?4 ^
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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7 L9 r3 f6 P: f7 X' f8 u警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 ' R& ^# _! |/ \
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.7 U8 V$ ^0 g. B% a
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 ( l" y M7 E4 m q) v$ p1 e. Z
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
$ T4 `4 w3 N: z2 e+ wHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 5 H( X2 b1 f" |5 ^; A
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) / k) v( {% @3 b) }2 s
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
/ d! _. a) Z; zMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
, c. e. s% h* M6 r4 J+ t* dWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) - K& Y! t* v) t, G) j
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) ' b/ L+ r8 w7 J1 b5 E
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) ' n6 N6 z0 V" w0 A, h2 m
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
1 D5 C, A' k2 m6 t6 E# mWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) ! T, z' ?" P( o% G
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) 7 N2 T' O0 o" R3 m* O8 y9 q# s
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) 1 i; @2 x4 k# P" a# Y
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* U. W/ O' I! O: X( g总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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