《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。$ X2 ]9 A, ~) B; z4 E3 z
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）) {  o5 l8 |. a, x/ C# D
Holmes: I just picked it up.
1 v6 @/ ], P$ p# }; Y( ^Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
# @! U" z! R  e3 C7 ~( e+ dHolmes: Knew I forgot something.$ j, `* y5 \1 K5 q& `- U
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
* u+ n- \" I* NHolmes: You did.
. ~- O8 `$ A; m' T（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
4 ^. k' X7 r; P* G/ JHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all., `) ~  b% t+ N. p" h& f! r: F" O
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。( {0 t. o: V9 ~3 t
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
+ T# q9 E; @; A; i+ vHolmes: Granted.& g" K2 k8 \) b' O) f  j5 R+ F
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8 p& I# `, o) P晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
& A. G1 F: p0 f+ IWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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& z; |" l- L$ \" |: i8 C: h& U  c拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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) a1 v3 B% g9 ]  RWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
: l1 j: o6 O- O3 U5 O2 TWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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$ a' t- j2 m5 f( A# DHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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5 l  S3 O; d2 w, T( d( v- nBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。/ t8 K9 v- Z# S( b. I
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
# H$ t; k7 t3 _; g. {4 PIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?  O6 {( s8 c5 Y' i" R1 F
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）, q- a5 @! ~3 {2 E, W% B, g
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
  f' d: B: f, ]/ s6 [Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）* n& I% w4 U$ P$ V( q
Watson: Get that out of my face.) _. q: e$ J$ m" O) s2 I' Y
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
6 p# B* n, d4 eWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.  k2 Y7 A8 m' t
路人警官Clarky上场。$ j/ Z8 _+ J# p% A
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once." ^6 F# @( a+ e* l$ d9 x9 v( _
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
0 Z3 j/ J9 D/ x, X9 m0 Z得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。: _8 a' R. ]" r, E$ w
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
# d' e6 ~4 J" [0 r* v# }: I" r: \3 lHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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; s2 k. I- m4 h9 H: a8 c墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。/ \6 q: s! [+ X
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）& c( n! p$ N5 D/ J  z6 u
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
! T8 q# U9 G* f4 J' TWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）5 p/ N$ ^" Q" n' z
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。; C& A9 K0 W% O# N; M6 O' w
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
1 m0 K- B, O9 o1 I% g, i7 b: ]Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…0 E* P2 B' u& S+ ]+ g- q
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
! `0 j" e( r# k1 @死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
! }! v; x/ a8 ?# s8 }  G) C( NHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
# C1 ]  [! }9 N8 `. C) o后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
0 {& m5 U3 U- I0 h* {9 t, tHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）: v  Q  x/ S0 X; m$ @+ S
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" A4 a4 \9 F# y4 w5 n警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。+ l0 {5 g* ~& V
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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( O6 ]& R& ?/ c8 t" g接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
( ^" }. ?: [5 e( v0 X4 d. N( N0 {话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。" T4 Q" ?4 `# l: E! z
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）0 t, m& l4 m- n5 p
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）/ M1 {8 [# w! \. l( z5 w7 |" x, }
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
6 B" v2 t2 t' |) N2 J0 ^# \Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?  R- Q; t% o% D
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
5 b# l; M6 V9 u& AHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
% a  c# z/ s; _Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）8 \2 B9 R) h! Y- L8 H  b& M
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）$ Y( |& F5 N+ a' f
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
- U* k6 }# Q' s/ bMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
9 H; p+ |5 |6 O% m. P（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）) O) L3 Q( S; i3 `3 f! ~) n% Q! m
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……