《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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0 g; d6 k( \. \6 Y7 `" G" g影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。( _- i+ F+ z- \$ w
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
4 Q8 Y" X" X$ C% S1 p7 N7 s" q7 GHolmes: I just picked it up.
" }# T5 p' q( o9 ?+ R+ KWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）( \5 p# L! V6 r( H: u* k) i# }
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.# U  J1 X" V3 Z& J4 A! h7 u
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）4 @1 b3 ]# N1 {! D* j3 N/ {
Holmes: You did.& X5 C; i% c/ K6 Q
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
" h1 Q2 q2 q. _9 a; g  o! c" yHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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" X, ~4 j2 G  {1 N) g) Z宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。! `" l. K, _6 X% k6 k% N5 v
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
1 b3 S1 H) X1 `" z, c. M; bHolmes: Granted.; r7 v$ e% `7 b# }9 O
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9 [' l/ C$ h4 H% ^晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。5 u) m4 m3 }0 I
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。0 ~) j1 ?. R+ Z7 {1 N
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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; o# d4 {2 j% E9 j5 [5 \* b. L, CHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。+ P7 l: o; W4 k) i3 c# ^6 v
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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% }# `2 a4 e% U! v- F" CIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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5 h( \( [2 T+ l) xIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?$ D$ R- Y( C! \
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
1 y* I7 J3 z. P8 {/ K. {$ |Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
5 p* T3 W% X  I; T3 DHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）7 ^; z# {+ a: C# Y' p
Watson: Get that out of my face.1 r) A5 v/ P0 e. s" K$ z$ W3 d
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.' f2 N( y0 ]" u8 p
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.# z/ I: T1 O8 M) @: U& G- I( V
路人警官Clarky上场。
; K  P0 N" q( vClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.* @8 }/ d0 h$ b6 ~) Q0 B
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
, @( {- x/ K- \* ?4 t得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。' j- ]9 N  b. n/ k% l3 `# `4 ^
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
2 K* j: P  _! h' G) VHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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! _3 W" ]  W0 s0 Z0 g( Y# d墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。6 n+ A( W8 A  u$ \+ Q3 k
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）5 q" o; g. D& o& Y2 m" r
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.4 ^/ b6 o: i- t
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。+ D! S6 n1 w7 b: }* o
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
1 \" y& ?- G0 f: mBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…* P' Q" ?! H2 N4 g% c/ l
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）) U& D( ]( k; v: V2 e
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
+ \8 M7 p/ T# a# f- aHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
% x4 b0 J3 P! Z9 e4 E0 e! n) X后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。6 _, }5 U, p4 G' X5 m! w) J' q
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）% S! s1 F, r6 n7 B8 Z% I
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。! K/ A' K; k& Z$ H% ~! s8 ~
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.  U* D1 L# ]8 T' h3 X
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) u% {% e5 U1 m" c接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。" Z' \8 ^" I: o" x3 G* x, f4 I
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
) \! L. _/ X3 n2 AHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）* M' d6 ]+ l! r" t2 I4 N
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）: i" k# B6 e" [* n/ g5 K
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）, G" R9 h  F+ P2 V; U- t
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
! j: W4 Q  s1 H  z' G, w: dWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
# [$ K) t  Q1 |+ W0 dHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）7 n9 c# w; K5 H
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
  E% U( L) U, j1 Q, lHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
  h5 c4 U5 t5 s$ pWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
9 I2 V1 }& b3 _, r! x% @Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）! {" A1 Q% Q  @. K9 A
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）7 p# t3 [: B( X7 D; u
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: v* r' O* i: Z- \) r总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……