《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。3 |0 g0 D. x% |7 f2 \
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
$ m1 [% [5 t$ T; Q6 Q! g1 J) XHolmes: I just picked it up.
6 N* m2 v/ {! l0 w9 ]5 tWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
- H( o- E, P+ |Holmes: Knew I forgot something.0 T! m7 P0 U& }
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
5 v! `- l  a( A) ^( `Holmes: You did.
: ?) |" T. r0 C: `; \6 n3 [（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
6 O4 e1 V" H- Y4 @$ ?3 K- V; d  hHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。' }) p& d8 T: O! A/ Z
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.' K- J1 g4 \! l7 K/ u
Holmes: Granted.4 |) ^" L8 e5 c8 y
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. a+ Y# I% S/ ]: F* O晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
8 p$ N7 B0 u2 W* c( h" I8 WWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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$ u! I, W* O* }( p* o4 k) d+ K拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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9 P/ {" p6 p" s! X4 o0 H/ \/ J  QWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
* m& g5 O7 s  c- t- |9 U0 _Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。6 W" y4 R, p6 F) o2 b: O: D
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?  J0 q  N# W, H  P
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）/ S' a* s& d8 ?* ?, Q& N+ a& [- S  q
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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4 u# U  ^. G, b# cIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
" l- f: m# E2 QHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）' r6 |  j% w+ I  f9 `8 o( m/ J7 d
Watson: Get that out of my face.4 G6 O. g( A7 r% z# N' L4 g
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.+ k9 z+ T' N  \
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.( Y& h1 ?# h0 l
路人警官Clarky上场。
' I" \# i/ C8 }+ u% F$ I3 C& WClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.4 L% k/ I; L- u% X% c
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）& C: G) t: H* u3 |) }1 x+ B" [- n
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。7 |" y0 u! L# G
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
- V  j, ~/ j" T6 |% H4 S0 b- qHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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: c0 g# u/ G. D: Z墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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5 t  g2 F6 T0 s  L- }Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
+ f2 Z. \; K1 PWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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( u+ L& b5 O" {. R河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。2 v1 x+ N8 W$ X- D! T
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）% n# E" m- B4 ]% l, d
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
7 h# @: f/ e2 r/ hWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）; c+ W0 ]1 r' J- Q& K
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。; I0 A* j% U7 H+ L* \
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）2 _4 g9 D5 o5 d4 q# |+ e5 v1 F5 s. l
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
: i# c/ I/ p& ~0 [. n) w  pHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）# T9 w) I6 \  X1 t" N8 J
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7 k$ {2 B8 S$ d警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。8 r6 G& b1 Y4 P; z/ A
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.  B: k2 D# ]9 y- x" V4 G" T3 P" t# A
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. d5 K6 [0 G5 g* s接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
. X: ?: O3 h3 t& ?. d话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
+ g5 g5 x1 P8 f1 X; wHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）; W4 b: \9 `4 d; b! C
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
3 K9 `' D% A6 m: x0 ~# S; ~" jHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）( K( k9 f7 k* s1 B0 b3 n" W
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
/ d7 W* U3 O9 Z8 Z/ w/ i9 f/ C' gWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
: Y) }- y; E' V) o' GHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）/ K( u! b+ S( c8 L4 G
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）1 S+ r4 v: t# ?+ |) i) B
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）( f0 [# j+ @8 \) @$ E7 |
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）* u" H2 s& l3 k) P. p! H  v* _
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）9 g  J5 w9 c  s9 U1 p( p4 p
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）9 a: Y2 C2 M- y& d4 e* i
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( g' i7 n/ v' q& ~总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……