《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。; m; H# b( r* T* ^( ^8 x
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。/ t* p' \& Q/ [1 ]  I
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）" v3 m/ a9 g% m. O; q# \
Holmes: I just picked it up.2 |8 ?' {$ P: H) |! a4 C7 H
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
) B: g) F: \! k7 `Holmes: Knew I forgot something.) |; z4 m4 u- P2 [. H4 Y
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
, z! u  G& U, i' B- V4 x  QHolmes: You did.
* p  D4 |0 d5 @, i: T( R3 O3 k（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
0 M9 e* H$ l& _: C5 F5 v' Y  U2 J' CHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.$ ?& b6 K7 V. L. L& q* a* V
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1 ]6 z" G& p% F% t" h" h$ G9 Z宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
- N* t# h' F4 n2 }0 X+ Y  ]( J' FWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
8 t" d6 @! c8 kHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
: A+ l( g) c3 eWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）( |; G! a4 x$ z
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0 ~+ z% y/ d4 N) ~7 z拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。( H7 h' i. G4 r3 o/ c% {4 C
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$ j7 t9 u* }' A2 J6 aWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
7 d* w# a. b+ G7 X0 r2 I5 MWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。. U+ w' z) q, Z, k) P1 g; _
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。8 M' B5 U) Y! L: w
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$ Q" t+ o' U4 w1 \Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。+ L2 M6 m& b! b" u1 k, Q* {
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）3 S: x# z% Y4 {3 {% c
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?6 n1 A" g; g! G) d; d" d9 r
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）0 Q, t' D: c- q* Z
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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9 h( R" d# U1 g" y8 }Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。+ F* J3 r' v0 Y1 m& }$ c3 m9 }# Y
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
9 @) ~* J" G- F/ u# YWatson: Get that out of my face.
0 M" ]+ t5 [1 {9 b# O" JHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
) _- W& A0 Y' ^% J; j, @; `Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
, u2 M' ^  ~$ m, G: k& g- A' A路人警官Clarky上场。) p# M  ]' {( k, \7 k- J; ]
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
% p" x) Z. h# q; BHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
# s6 y7 u* N/ }; k9 n得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
+ V5 f. \. |; c$ `2 T, pWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?! C0 {- |$ Y* S3 q
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.6 B& Y. `/ W! m) e
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。" S6 b% v0 K3 O8 Z6 l. @% `/ d
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）7 F" C4 j% Z! V) _
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.: s' B/ j- V% p3 ?7 }7 o1 G
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）6 J. g& Q. U7 W! d4 H
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。/ q# R# \& m+ N
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
- Y& Q3 M) C0 ?! C% D1 yBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…- y4 [+ {9 W$ T0 Z* U
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
' |2 ?/ K8 d" t0 T' i; b死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
( {, w: X! M$ [% bHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
; _! ~# ?$ z; B5 f后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
* t0 S' S" ^$ j( V. n  ~( ^Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
" N! E% R/ i) GLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.( V9 N6 i) ~, |2 R5 W  `! \
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。5 @/ b  \: a1 f9 l
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
; ~8 P5 X$ p0 n/ vHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）  S: [  {/ |# w0 P
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）$ I& O. h' J7 `
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）8 c% k8 c  z& [4 y' J! a
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
6 K' ^' F! H( \3 U# G" K8 EWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
3 [# I2 k: {. I7 V# \5 QHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
$ w  `" t; e2 _Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）7 {# a+ Y0 `/ i
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
( D" n* b# I  y) ^" `& pWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）+ x5 M0 r* Z& u7 }$ R
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
& E2 X2 L; g" E" N$ p$ V（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……