《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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+ \( K' x0 ?. C0 ?' i影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。8 l8 l. i3 K( I% I) A+ Z
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
$ h- X4 p$ M$ N5 RHolmes: I just picked it up.- }) K+ X* r" a' t
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）9 ^! d. p$ D/ |1 @, u- j+ j
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
  H2 Q1 I0 D0 \; E3 V9 e' QWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
% c, l* S: [: K+ v# pHolmes: You did.- s! A4 h4 J% F( W/ c! ^2 K9 B4 Y+ R
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
; j3 T4 v# L% C* B+ WHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.8 Q7 w2 w8 }3 Y5 ~( M
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# A+ i- U* h% n宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。- B5 D3 s. x1 A7 Y  l9 @( ~7 {& W
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
$ _$ U, v" b, R( R$ MHolmes: Granted.) M# s2 g: k7 B3 ]" Q3 g5 h2 m
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。' `4 I6 J$ ^& n: L
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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' h; z1 z* j' f. A* c拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。" q3 e, j. _7 e. n% s1 L
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  |. V# [/ {! f, ?% B4 k7 g( qWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。% S+ R/ [7 Y% X1 }: a& ?9 d! H
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）7 o3 A( J" y2 A# t3 w' Y9 }+ V
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5 g  _# B( W7 D* pHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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6 u" G9 B5 V+ K/ f* MBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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* E6 g% H/ a+ q& l1 q' r0 q4 J8 a. ]" `Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。& E! X4 u6 E" X' P& B1 T$ p) q/ t
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）, d# B1 F0 A# p$ \0 q- t
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?4 v. Z( k5 O' `
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
  l1 }+ u% _! @/ ~# {, jIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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# s7 d$ H3 C; q2 uIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。4 k8 Y1 b0 }! N. S# D( N7 G
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）2 K; \1 R# \- L/ g* `1 r% P2 G& z
Watson: Get that out of my face.
8 W, {) x4 d# Y& t$ a  [Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.8 }: i* I& z9 V7 d- d$ P! y5 E$ D; H  z
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
5 d: n' N  O* u1 R7 O路人警官Clarky上场。
+ ^# Q, v3 o( N* k& N' i5 bClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.; j( W1 `  g2 R( t- Z6 M( [3 z
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
6 \- |! b8 M) l+ A; r/ u得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
  c, p5 Y9 c, T+ h0 p* gWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
) S3 k2 T+ [! @7 s# O0 j3 zHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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3 W& N- ], |" `  O墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。9 _8 Q" ^4 Y$ n* F1 U2 \. N, E# t
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
! X# o  V( z. `3 L; H* mHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
5 M  S6 P$ k! VWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）( G5 K- e2 z3 P7 [: @) X* J
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。4 i4 M4 E6 P5 ~" ~( A) A
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
6 S2 \3 B7 U" v+ LBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…; r0 {/ n2 A' R, n9 H+ s9 m
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）' t# a. K: l* G* [) D" c( F
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。5 f! D- E# \1 H* D
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
" q) k* N! K3 ~4 c& q后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。) ?- b7 _8 j9 A7 L
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）& c% ?1 Q4 P5 \2 u
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1 ^0 S5 D9 e1 ~7 Q9 j+ ]/ c警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
2 o( A& ~8 d3 M- T  S+ VLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。8 s+ Z6 s3 S% w$ M& v, z: j1 s
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。2 ]4 y  T  Z7 {3 ?9 Q2 ?& H
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）; R% M2 w* v& F; X1 q
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）, ~1 n4 \% o0 M% ~9 X& p7 w3 g  K
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）  |" p9 w) ?1 ]/ l) [/ h3 c" J
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?9 v8 k4 y+ X4 j# v; U
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）6 R& T( b  _1 R+ u7 o! o. q
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）; W9 {; f! L% r; v5 T/ P
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
: |& H! V8 i! @9 ?1 e) [Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）) V$ @1 R- {5 O* ]
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）8 U- |. G3 ^2 \& w
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）+ x+ M1 v7 p# f, e7 n' e
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）# u, E7 l4 w( ?! C- k6 P" r
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……