《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。' P) g8 P% e; ^4 Q0 B+ y  E% g
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
$ F/ q2 [2 H7 s1 Z% {4 M3 VHolmes: I just picked it up.: M& r' ]3 v4 s3 O9 Y
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）# S) J* |) X% s7 L3 k6 K6 q
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.4 z- D# \$ z" y* j: ~' Q. T
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
# ~; Z/ ^5 M5 v  {+ J2 {7 f8 _Holmes: You did.; y0 L$ g7 S2 H0 I: M
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
* {/ p! _2 i0 ^2 x0 CHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.% q7 t" R! c' i3 h( i& `& E
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
2 N  m# l4 X  L9 tWatson: Permission to enter the armory.8 w+ ~3 o) X+ ~; j2 {7 ?2 V& {- f
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
. v+ A/ u7 Q9 g6 C  k& a$ x" Z" ZWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）& z' W# z% u0 P2 y: c$ L
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。8 z+ v/ g$ x- H$ t) V% N
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
- d1 U% D! B1 y/ J' R! RWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）/ [1 \! x* }7 a5 D4 H/ ]
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$ w3 X0 r- [6 ^# I+ s& VHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。6 q0 z' b& K% Z2 R! h2 W
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。7 G. K1 B1 ?6 O. g
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8 j! i! K8 k* G/ dIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
2 [. F( x7 m, X2 B# M5 ?Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）" Z' N( h2 b$ E3 N3 u
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.( A$ w# e. G" ?9 k/ S* \4 w
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。  t: f3 O! B; X( D, \, A+ J0 t
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）7 r7 ~* ~5 \- X# a" j1 W
Watson: Get that out of my face.% I+ z/ W. x- X7 B+ F
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
! a) i. N+ G" _6 c; _8 w# W3 n3 xWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
% y1 ?0 B1 _5 k1 j% C5 v路人警官Clarky上场。
+ v7 w- i' q( F6 B2 E" ^/ e$ F! RClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
- J: R0 y; [3 b  |Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
# H% a* r, n. B1 Q. f9 r1 t) ]  ~得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。' |- W) _- C/ F
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?, T, V& c" q8 U& [3 H( o7 \
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.6 f' b, N" _7 g  K
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3 y, q) _: c8 V3 p* C墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
% Z/ C# {$ M: w3 Y. w（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）) _6 |8 Y7 a1 k2 q" M' ^
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
$ X5 D, S3 E4 mWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）* ]/ g% p, f4 I9 I' K. f8 h7 ]! E9 l
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。. ]! c* i  b4 J3 c
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）( [1 P- _) p' O2 T2 [# F* ]
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
* ~9 _# p/ F$ w7 H2 WWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
( W# E$ N$ u1 W1 }- w3 A' ?; C死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。5 g  A2 q6 u% U  K9 c( m4 u" d: i
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）, ^! n. E; f* S( W
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
2 M3 B" W2 s$ t" H) fHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）& {9 |9 ^! p. e, g
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, U$ h+ p  r) i警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。- g- y+ V/ M2 g6 v# I# ]. q) f
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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6 P1 h. p. r* L" y" W, B) C接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。2 J# F6 C4 z( J- J! H+ I: f
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
8 j5 c+ B' R1 _% J, kHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
7 L( `' d0 G0 N$ _+ a% L8 ?( iWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
' E' W7 A- D! E6 @Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
- C2 V$ f7 X: d$ n! x6 JMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
* c1 I; c$ t3 g8 a( I8 t' P/ O' |* `Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
0 p7 ~. k! j& r+ ?) ^2 p$ sHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）; {& K4 V2 K2 o4 k; T
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
, Q4 r6 n" L7 G- p/ V4 THolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）! V9 \+ B5 C) X" l7 P* t: ?( }
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）* {9 j! z" `1 z9 E
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
! n# ^3 C& _5 F8 K( J* [/ X（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）, [. j3 C) l% ?( m
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……