《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。0 ?* G- Z9 c6 F+ J
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
  Q: K- R" x7 R& a+ n% _Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）4 Y: J$ l* h+ y' Z
Holmes: I just picked it up.
' x# H. p( L( U# OWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）- @% S7 L. }  I* D- W' {! f
Holmes: Knew I forgot something./ w" A/ Z( F) z+ k# `4 M
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
* q' @0 R( e5 S0 I9 FHolmes: You did.
, u% W, o! {' D) {- @8 B（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
$ o; T% L  {  ~' p5 ^Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.. ^* n6 y. V" u( r+ P( W* s! d
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) N( `# N0 a/ n0 t% I( a宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
: }5 \! H2 b# u- ?# vWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
9 I1 O& g! I8 [  ^  kHolmes: Granted.
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) ]: N" x) O; q1 L  k* c* Z晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。6 l6 b3 o2 c# x( z1 d* k9 I
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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1 a$ S+ V6 ]* |. e7 s( K; Q% a拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。3 y6 Z! f+ H' @1 E
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。* u9 I7 l$ a1 n1 n1 Q7 C8 u
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。5 g& M. f5 D0 z5 U# \
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$ u! N* V" w8 i0 FBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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7 j. n. N# H" |+ `Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。7 H+ m9 k. {9 y$ t! o
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
/ h* v6 [% E2 K3 A6 R' m( X+ a6 JIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?2 a+ L' ]) ~# t9 d
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
8 q" N% }1 y. c* j5 ]- pIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.) v. ]2 d) s. j
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。# \5 A7 h) ^% x$ J: X/ k
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
& r1 e$ }$ l0 Q0 x& q( ^8 NWatson: Get that out of my face.
0 G0 Q  j, l& I* jHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
2 K/ u! W$ |, o4 l( nWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.4 n# ^4 F0 x6 P; s
路人警官Clarky上场。. q. |2 y& \9 _: t% Z' A6 ?
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
! N4 F* Z$ a/ f" ?5 [; pHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
# W  x& N- f. C8 b3 b0 z得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
9 c, A0 f( d( WWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
' J/ n1 O9 U- D/ H4 j# Y9 L( eHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.# ~- o. \1 Z# d7 F, |6 U% T
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。. R6 ^$ t7 a# L- c! D
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
: E& G+ L+ n# U! e0 _% G8 [- I  pHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
+ I% U8 c( o  QWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）5 a6 f9 V9 i) M- O9 ~3 O5 ?# }
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; B0 }* n. A$ T8 S! W$ X/ [河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。% {2 R' I3 v+ q  a1 ~" |
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）6 }  J' A$ R; Y6 h6 d5 _
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…( f( C& o- `2 `9 P1 {, c: b
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
8 K0 k1 G$ c' w  a' M1 _死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
3 Y$ Z. j* a2 m) Y+ @Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
* [% P. v  Q, [8 X' N( X# e后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。8 q. a3 G. F) p( j, ]
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
. l" T. B1 U) I% O; A9 j+ B2 h. C' RLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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1 C; m, A2 g5 D7 O2 t接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
5 Q. g  K- p9 m6 }* d% ~& a) X2 q& x1 `话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
% y: V) L9 R3 A7 f& i4 s, \Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）6 h$ e$ P6 X  |$ F/ _0 m
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）9 u  ]0 e6 ^; z/ n. L" y
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）& ^; f. Y% v4 D, i
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
% b* L: y. o- i# I+ hWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）6 O7 y  a# z1 e" n! E& K4 [
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
* f) T; Z$ F" ], H5 [; EWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）  J" H) z' y, s' g) b& X' I: Z
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）# E& e1 @0 v0 C  R( g
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）' w" f' x$ v6 T2 ^1 R. p9 f
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）) `  Z6 \" Q- m/ h5 ]& d+ }
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……