《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。, T: q. `5 a* I" K$ T
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
8 G3 p8 o( Y* d7 p2 sWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
! T. o  ?  j0 b, T' `" _4 g" _3 wHolmes: I just picked it up.
1 E- `/ S" Y+ HWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）* N8 M% _' s* z$ z6 H/ l
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.$ T6 ?1 V4 W4 [# m* a3 d) D4 ], w
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
3 w6 A3 }2 h& U; `  V2 `) vHolmes: You did.
( D  ^, E, A& h* ?; f( }+ T（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）9 {: E  S' A$ {
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.9 ]- ~& n4 t8 M
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: X% l* K" }, O0 Q- ~6 _0 L' v宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。/ z& \" q( s& J8 ?4 y; ~' [
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
+ I% q8 F' p- N+ [/ i, e5 mHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
1 n9 s" T5 C4 F4 ~4 |) ~Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）( j! y" d$ W. W9 Y- O+ C# d
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。6 ^2 `+ {! U8 {! Z: g" y, V
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。6 J1 K7 b! `; Z" V% s
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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3 B3 f: B" L& ~" n4 G1 lHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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$ N* K! _- I" S2 r! o5 h! _Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。) B' T; z% g+ h$ ~+ a
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）; E, T' i, a) X2 H! k
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?6 Y; N5 F1 S* F# \3 S
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
1 \" M& [! z' y: x; I& OIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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( Y' d! ]. W8 z$ HIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。) Z7 E$ g3 k) O7 ?- n
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
) c, l- s( m/ }" ]) V7 EWatson: Get that out of my face.8 b1 j- M; _' B- ]: M8 e
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
/ J5 W5 s# N* B" {  nWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
7 t. j( ^- N7 ], r路人警官Clarky上场。0 N5 V" `) B9 p+ ]' @
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
+ c8 z9 y8 F# J! G0 Z- WHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
# m$ O: S: f6 \! D得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。1 ]8 l$ T8 o) M
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
9 j; \' [3 [' e- ?# P$ ^$ c7 ^Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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7 k) e5 ^2 k/ L+ f0 L墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。0 B$ Z* l, J0 x: z; K' P7 B
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）  m( ]3 L, x" c: t1 B
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
& c& Y5 W7 p" JWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）) o( J& [+ J. Y# L7 v: Y& f
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& j$ f  v$ V/ j' V9 \河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。  g3 B& ~1 r$ Q& N/ V, U# Q, }
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
+ t' F/ P; m; w: VBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…) _5 W7 ^, ]2 r" @1 R2 K
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
! c, x: s) W5 z- @2 _1 E8 G/ u2 U死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。1 h) L6 Z" `8 i# m% ^& _! E
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
" a& t. J% K2 v; D' v4 r$ `后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。. b) z2 ?( S; |- ~
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
& g3 _( I5 z3 |2 v2 B! x5 U$ M0 tLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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8 }7 v2 Y1 C. r接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。' _% h: n- Q. t# |3 E
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。9 o! r* ^- ]7 Q+ {! J# O4 o
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
! \) t% x: f. j1 \" E5 bWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）! l& D# I; K( ^2 r' ~
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）( e) x* G; {$ B; X
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?/ t" a0 \" I; I4 s9 d7 u+ I. H" v
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
: @( Q  _' S* u' UHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
: O' e; D* d$ @4 }Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）7 g( _2 N$ B2 n) g% W3 E
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
# l, a8 Q8 I0 Q" c4 L* O8 CWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）# I5 @( M0 ?$ ~" R
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
, k. P, A) P% X（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）4 C8 U1 G5 O* a# P) }* c6 o
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& M7 l/ C& f1 `5 q+ h  g% T, q总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……