 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
: g* `6 G4 D6 M5 f( T5 e* H4 D! cWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
5 i) E$ I1 e% K6 j- s7 SHolmes: I just picked it up.1 w9 V) B) v5 v4 Y6 A) @
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
9 Z" f# i) T: @4 WHolmes: Knew I forgot something.5 }- m! W1 z8 j9 X5 z
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) ! V" Q9 h* J+ B6 _; O3 b" P& s
Holmes: You did.
5 j9 t3 `' o+ v$ r/ |! w, ]) f(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) 3 k" p5 m* ^4 L! j
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.* U5 z9 a& {) D8 k
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
* b k) s/ u& I0 a, WWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
& z3 t. Y7 b7 {Holmes: Granted.! C0 P* c! ~ A- y2 J* u2 W
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5 r v6 }/ W: e0 t. t晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 ' B& @; g Q& L X/ m: l# G& H
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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: m0 C* u! T- _3 m0 |: G" i拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 % e( K9 ?. C8 B
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) P0 y4 X& q8 w" nWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 2 u# x9 V; p& A! u0 a) F
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 2 ?/ h7 V( L8 H& ` n% N4 L% @2 x
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 . Q# w& a3 I) _& S# W" @
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3 U6 c+ Q* D2 ]. Z$ t4 [9 OBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 1 L- [( J% N6 G
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
9 u! v, x3 {3 L- s1 K( ?- }Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?- q5 C7 q" _, y& g9 k. t9 m/ @
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 8 ?5 ]; D/ U6 s2 u
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.- R' d+ X) Z1 J$ E0 o7 \
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 # d, g) S+ E6 c; S5 k1 j
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) * N8 q" d0 |; P c
Watson: Get that out of my face.
; T0 t/ w1 ]+ S" I( RHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.8 K# m. n5 k }- K1 ] x
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.2 E: {+ p7 V ^) S M- s
路人警官 Clarky上场。
3 D# B. ~+ _* b) p1 [/ k7 uClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
8 W% r: f1 m6 l4 V7 w6 s! sHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
$ o( U$ I% N/ D+ A! v& Q得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
% Y2 ~! U" s( qWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
8 P I8 N) b% C: y4 m) ZHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.9 P: o! N5 t# v* `6 z
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v8 A- i6 Y3 ~, j墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 1 m; H: ` |7 f4 ^: y
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) * m! F ]% t( @7 X
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.5 c: y) m( m! v: n+ e
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 " @6 T" a4 A2 G- U' M' D2 S
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 2 O( {9 _) R5 B
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…# o+ h2 i Y! r" u4 ~
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) ( A+ `' g1 Z. ^+ q% O9 [; q
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
. T5 ^/ c& q3 |$ \- F2 bHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
+ O9 M6 Y% u6 T# o9 r; ` W后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
c$ c3 T" S; ?: KHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 1 |# T* ]$ ]. K
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
* [% v) x' g) t% S2 ~5 CLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.! _( A" R* g) {8 p) s) B
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# W" i2 }/ u1 F2 }- F* a! H接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 6 Z% W) b. [1 @2 d" }$ X/ G
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
% | V& u4 j9 b+ IHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
) i- J1 R' x: a. [Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 9 E( ~) ]; |; Q$ b: g
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
, {' ` z9 P# z8 TMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
2 N, G! i2 u; S, UWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) " c$ m1 q# g4 d1 i
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) " z/ z, B* }2 H) O' n# S. z9 V
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
+ @1 k9 z8 F, G- R8 C WHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) 2 R F4 ^) J& I
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) ( V+ i* i) D9 g1 B, y j( |
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) / f' M. V# Z, f% J
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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' l) R! }9 x" t% i7 R总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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