 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 4 t; o% t+ Y4 W* ` s/ B
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- d. v8 i; K5 c) i+ o影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 - d% W; \. q( C# Y8 [: W
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
' \9 U) n3 l: {. _. qHolmes: I just picked it up.2 J% \( ~' i- _# D8 V
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) / F% n: h( {# Q- x/ t3 k5 W
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.0 `/ f9 J R5 [4 m+ K: f
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) % D2 ~& |4 D8 c7 O4 \' }
Holmes: You did.4 x% H9 h- [. L) R+ s: Y
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
' v, V- k* N' I6 m* UHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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# x t; _) m/ c+ q宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
- T0 S! @8 c p! t; Y/ RWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
* T8 c. I& ^. _: g V$ c) O- XHolmes: Granted.
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$ H; s+ N! x, `$ c0 ~# S晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
$ [4 Q. j D& `6 c F) K+ fWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 9 k4 G- d/ H: H5 `1 Z' n
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`9 N+ G& X5 M& C0 t3 l2 H) q! P& s拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 F0 }* S* Q* \3 E
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 9 u* }" ^. F, J" t* A* k
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g' K; x7 M' }. I( N* tHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 - u3 l4 f, M5 ^; E5 M/ O# W- O
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
' A* ~7 q# W0 K. E( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 8 g% I2 @7 ~3 G t
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?* _7 B) | B0 G/ `2 F5 l
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) $ y- g$ R" F" p/ S8 [
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 , ?& m! l3 J% a7 V5 s- f3 {
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
* j1 U. ?# _4 }8 n7 p- K LWatson: Get that out of my face.) J6 Y# w: u5 @7 F& W
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.2 A. @! j3 ^/ A) c9 I4 F3 a
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.; C0 h0 X3 \5 }% l
路人警官 Clarky上场。
! U' A% s/ n4 h, IClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
! _! g* x2 l, E- @Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
- i' p, z) {5 r" P得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
4 E. [ {& ^) _2 ?1 C: ZWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
1 j2 L2 U S: a) s9 D9 t' fHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.# ]2 X; T* Y* ^& I$ G! s
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' A F4 f0 e: Y6 m# u4 M7 B墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
& ]' Z/ R, {$ [9 k, c) M c( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 1 [6 U" G5 R6 d5 n$ _, Z
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
+ a5 K% g: G# B7 l- [Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) ; _) n- o+ y2 f' n
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T; B( q% \5 {* g$ X3 O) V河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 1 z$ i0 t' [8 j
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
) C" q3 u6 g9 z9 J# lBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…, ~0 z& N, C' F) j1 F6 S1 n& |
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 8 a- @2 Q8 f* }$ n4 V4 s0 M6 x
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 c, C0 ]" j K1 f% z0 a7 C# S
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
% G9 z$ r! I E# g后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
- R5 f# B3 ^0 p: Q4 A! lHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
8 p( b$ B2 ], L: O/ v5 L; _Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 & _5 H/ ?- o4 n# m8 `( u1 x1 E; y
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 3 @: Y: m" s# j. D& j7 V0 Z4 z, T5 T
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
- i$ v' P* i& q, s# O( mWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) ) a9 n/ A7 k; {" H' T) j0 G
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 9 i" y' R$ z3 o- Z# w, x' z
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
5 d6 ~! i; b0 _! k2 a: [Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
+ K; e' A) X* L- t' WHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
. O2 R0 w& d2 w; K( P, s# m* IWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
8 h! V h* D1 H7 J( Z0 R1 LHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) . T# @% \( b! `% q5 c5 w
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) 4 F" _, `$ R1 s! ^) k/ `
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) + t" a& X6 E$ ~( J3 n/ \
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) ( [( G$ f J& |5 B0 k I
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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