《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。' N8 h* X7 T1 ]* l
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
9 _4 N2 i# o0 I* ]! p+ _Holmes: I just picked it up.
4 z6 l+ `3 Q& c# m; f% D9 _Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）2 x+ y+ g0 F4 a' I( R4 ^  O
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
1 ?& W, e: E) P, p  HWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）+ B; P3 f* H0 \* Z+ H5 f1 {
Holmes: You did.9 n- S; j# x' z( d  A& m1 w* V% B. ~
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）5 G3 q- u) `2 o2 G5 ^
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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) T. a; m9 @$ ?! A2 q宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
" ]! S; y. d7 QWatson: Permission to enter the armory.0 R% `( t5 K9 X5 s* x$ S# G- d
Holmes: Granted.
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% l2 T# r8 y) s1 t) b9 f" ]晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。* |& t2 B( @* {
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）  ~  I" h) f5 N
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( M5 U0 S# d5 _; F" n  n拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。/ d- \9 G! _: B. o" ^# T5 Z+ b
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）  b. ^9 F, o0 f! B
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' z6 O% P1 m& i7 H" MHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。: L4 \5 L1 m5 F% {3 Z
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。6 h8 q, k& r3 A& K! \
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）( o, ^! A3 `2 J) j( l% h0 ?' Z; v0 B
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
! d" j! ?; E9 g7 a' Z+ _Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
+ l0 C, n! a  h( jIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.+ S5 T" ]' z8 _( b
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
- e& Z# ?8 o8 {3 N& n; ?% q+ K1 k, qHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）: o8 H& @& F5 @& v: r0 c5 V- n; A
Watson: Get that out of my face.
4 t8 e6 z6 b& g, c, t$ z3 gHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
3 w) T5 m  u% W- y5 j# B7 i% aWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
% h( v# f" e8 @9 u' R* B3 x2 v路人警官Clarky上场。
' P, E1 ]/ ~* g3 m* [Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
) Q8 |* Q6 M( lHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
4 t7 w- {- ?9 r3 N( ?得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。8 ]$ l) Y# V$ X3 d. ]
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?  u3 b: R) c- o# O, Y
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
8 [8 @7 h2 @2 Q0 v3 @7 g: ]" \: qWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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- d  a* E4 j5 U河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。  q+ A: ~) L' p7 ], Y+ V4 Y2 K
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
. e3 v" L- \: LBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…% a/ o* l# V6 M0 z: w% Q3 i
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
7 w! Q1 W1 B4 u+ m6 D' N死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。+ m8 B+ b9 M- K$ T
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
$ x' |9 [- @3 `0 Z' K后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。/ R  W+ @6 B+ M. D( @- u7 l  v6 J# P
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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& ~7 M# {; A& s- e& d0 ^警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
/ z+ d" O# q1 H4 V, x8 @Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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! o" I) }% Z, ]; I接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。, y6 s4 O: O) J* J5 a
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。) y" D0 v3 @0 e6 I8 R; v# W1 i1 n( w6 b
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）' S0 }0 K: y8 x
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
' O5 U- v# O6 h; D0 T1 bHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）6 s3 _3 H0 o( e6 Q
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?7 k1 U) Q( N6 {, T3 U) D
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）) \  F7 C4 r2 R# s, H/ z
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
1 g" Q# c' L- g' w$ KWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
8 F7 A6 i6 Z$ t6 K7 W3 ^Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）# b4 D( R) Z: h& ?% w
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）! C$ j5 _) a  o" \+ i( l
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
0 F/ Z4 z+ j2 T; Z7 {" u8 y7 v（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……