《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。! M9 d2 u2 }+ @5 X3 |; a" Q9 ]
***********0 n$ M; b7 P: e  s! a  H: z0 M1 u
1．, z, C5 ]8 ~: g% \5 l1 r2 T
影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
) R% e3 C/ G; \$ h  w# ], C( wWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）  l: b5 M7 m3 r* i% T
Holmes: I just picked it up.
! Z; ]9 b! ^: b! Y- ?9 B5 QWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）( q1 A: P2 b. Y) ]
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
  w* d6 H, b- @, M: _' I2 a' _Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）: v; e% \9 d* Q/ h$ C
Holmes: You did." Z2 ~8 q$ J3 H
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
. A- f. i, t) f% Y/ w- O8 i+ mHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
4 a/ D) t) O! P$ i9 O; F8 `6 T9 `2．
' T$ E" v1 ~$ {# ?3 r) A; e宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。! ]- b% V9 H. d# }% }
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.0 A; k' e0 x5 @) {/ w5 u+ z
Holmes: Granted.* n7 B; V2 h; T$ v
3.
8 w2 A8 T; N! t- j7 p0 J. g  _晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
9 r- V" m) \+ I9 G( VWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
0 r6 a' [: [1 E' O& m4．  g) X  I- q. W& }: z' x& S% [
拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。' ]) }9 H" V; j$ Q7 q+ S1 h
5．! _  c8 U( U* o. ~- V4 Y% N  F
Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。) V6 q; r" s. C7 n1 [+ ^# l
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
2 {" w' E, R1 O6 O6．/ `; ^" ~# a8 e) X. a
Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。% x( I: o# u1 ?5 u8 r( ^
7．& e$ v! v2 E' `! h9 u
Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。7 v; S5 y: _9 I2 O0 M. e7 `) z3 P
8．
  }" l- J- v+ ~  C8 R2 |, D+ E  ]; @Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
3 l7 |6 I% l! C# H) [- J（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
3 H& q! i7 Q, t  cIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
$ X1 p% l% _7 Y" v; `Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）7 U" i! E( W  y" \. T( ?) s
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
( d7 M9 {+ J% B- m) i# t9．
1 M$ d5 p5 \/ AIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。" Y  v' `, {- J9 j; h+ s
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
3 A2 p7 _  e! ^9 s6 N+ ~0 ^5 lWatson: Get that out of my face.
/ E* k, Q& L* f  G/ b2 z7 X2 d* SHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
; }; n) F* t# [9 ~9 s+ J# vWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.- h. M  ?( C, a$ s+ X) W; k, J( f
路人警官Clarky上场。, ]$ Z: y) K' P4 l/ u6 n  z
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.% D$ o4 E. O9 q# v- k5 d
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
# T: o& y2 O: {得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
; B" f. V2 G, J/ LWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
3 j5 W3 E5 V0 K1 oHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.6 K, I5 p8 |( g6 q* v1 }
10.3 Q7 K$ i9 f3 O8 P
墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
2 i2 t: A, H9 L（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
( ?* }4 z* E  A( g6 U  c* ^- ^8 rHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
/ K( H2 h: y8 ]" ZWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）- }1 l% C) ?, E' S2 X
11．9 ]* D7 S2 O8 L6 K" ]  Z
河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。! D! ^& l. ^- J/ S- h
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）. _  G3 T' }  V& i9 s$ y- T
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…! o  }6 t/ Y6 ?0 @. Z
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
( z: f; @" x! M) \5 j+ @死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。! R( v  S( n% d0 A% m% L
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）: ]9 R6 g' Y7 J- X) B) ~
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。7 O6 x* ]( V8 x# d( ?+ Q
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
8 I& z& O8 A- h3 m) I: L; a7 d, }12．
/ l7 Q: x% T& S警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
6 ]5 ^7 Q% d" tLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
! g! I" b; m" W: P$ `- j4 v13.& K7 h2 J- B; D* Q
接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
& {# Q0 W/ x$ i% s8 ]+ H话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
/ q3 ~8 m! P* S' SHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
9 W1 d, ^1 p9 f/ XWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）/ x$ H& V$ n5 P4 `
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
/ f! ^7 p; t6 \4 b, ]' C! YMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
0 A& A5 V5 c1 k- A/ W' RWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
2 o( y) q  u9 }6 Y  SHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
  h1 [) _5 z+ K4 H. o  aWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
1 y7 ~3 \$ M6 {Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）, O& J& T7 }- S  D- S( S
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
* u0 t' M  f0 z" Y2 _4 {Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
3 B4 y( Z  p& P（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）0 Q' q* |- J9 V4 |1 ~
***********. E) e# d7 R! i. J6 y9 ?5 W" d
总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……