《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。8 q) I/ i; T+ `* b$ U/ _
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
8 X5 I$ U( W* V3 d% `9 a& hWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
: c2 L1 e' b  F/ g% ~- {- r$ @Holmes: I just picked it up.' d' Y3 E" F1 e* ^+ Y3 t
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
8 ]4 {* T, b5 o( p% p5 H. W; `Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
( N1 z+ s4 e/ O- ?* q5 UWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
5 Q- \9 T3 P: S0 Z+ I: XHolmes: You did.4 P% l  I& G# p% ~
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）: w, k; I; v8 s% Q
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.7 f# S9 v% @! D* ^% O, X/ y. c1 {
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。7 v3 S" O- T: K
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.; Q, B9 r2 y. V# |. V
Holmes: Granted.& r- s5 C# X0 L/ r  m1 g
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。9 k' Q( S5 ~, p/ m; U* N3 e+ i: A3 m
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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* p1 K" g! o: gWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
( Q/ A" u( p& a; W/ F( v" C) C* sWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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: @3 `: J3 @( d3 {+ [Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。9 H8 e, J* ?/ d7 K, I$ _5 r
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. H" H, e( w& i0 h' B+ I; H% GBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。- m7 u% ~# y+ v
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
( `7 I: \4 ^" ~9 N4 d* P* `（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
+ {$ B# j( e1 ?$ OIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
9 N( R/ H' d, q: H6 e0 s; n: C  KHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）9 r1 O9 j% Y. |# @2 e
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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& N1 i9 z4 i! ]- p3 XIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
% [9 k: @; R6 u- `: kHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）8 x% Z7 @' S# I5 s
Watson: Get that out of my face.# Z; b) u5 Y$ x" d
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
- M% Q+ C6 f0 J4 r6 V) _, ], p) _5 CWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
. q; N8 B; V- |, W& W1 p8 {  y路人警官Clarky上场。
/ w8 r1 R/ E( [) b* H" c5 mClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
/ `+ q5 K% Y. ^# OHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
5 x/ D9 f3 C- p. g5 x. f5 V得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
  t2 S: l  }2 ~9 |Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?) N0 g0 \( z, j6 o% L
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.* V+ U( Z6 _/ m8 d' x0 @3 v' T2 Q
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9 W3 f# c  q9 j" \! L0 r0 y墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
3 z9 Q" k  V! @（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）% X: i$ F9 Z/ Q) n3 Q* j7 _
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.1 p( a! m( b1 A; r, D
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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& K5 s" n& t3 {( l河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
( [7 n1 v" E6 H* [6 EHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）1 F, T2 E7 p$ t$ K
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
. y7 `0 C; W) A- A6 Z, y, aWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
/ U2 g# Z0 ]7 C+ W1 h9 G& M0 M死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
$ D2 b  l5 K1 o" f$ c4 \Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）& e* h; V1 `1 b0 n" C
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。0 a- d8 w& i% B, J$ O' X
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）" l  T0 V, _2 i0 @8 @
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
; ^* K2 h# b' N# R0 A4 P; ^/ bLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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& I% `0 w9 t9 r: }. t( v# K! Z接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。) K. W( X) t, h3 @$ J" f5 L
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。3 o" Z. v8 e) \$ j# O  O8 R
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
& B8 l/ Y5 E4 }' t8 FWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
9 f- o& g. E! XHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
" e& i( T; L9 P2 }1 ]- F. g8 ^/ ~Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?2 c2 W% }5 n1 h) }8 V
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）% W# S3 I* a7 F5 c4 j
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
( J4 ~/ S% K2 I1 X5 ~Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）* h6 @  i- p# W( V- K; C
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）% ?7 b* S6 T2 J+ g7 U
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）4 _: [- D8 |+ c' w) }# _4 k2 h; u# j
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
6 J$ x; z' W) W  \: I+ Y" B（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……