《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。" a; H) N0 i+ U1 B3 J" ]/ O( |
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
4 A4 w( x* O) t0 NWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）+ j: C' |& P) H5 o* b* t
Holmes: I just picked it up.
* `1 K  D& F( X; X+ w7 ~Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）' [% b* ^4 {( d. u/ e/ u
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.4 x) [6 X  l8 }; e
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
) e1 A0 Q3 i$ HHolmes: You did.7 R  u$ @% E( {8 z2 h6 r
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）8 x0 s/ g6 X. J
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。4 W2 T/ ]& \" D* l3 e
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
. v' j' _0 n" l/ o" F. u7 rHolmes: Granted.1 K: F7 ^8 y4 L1 U% Z8 I# ?
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。% c/ r* v  ^. M# l  Y; k
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）' x- e* ?- X, c# N. u' j- n: b, W
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- }( E5 J  [9 ?* d1 V拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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6 L; K+ \6 |! a8 e* \9 ]/ wWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。4 e3 R7 A; _- O6 _- I
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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# {! z* P7 ?0 nHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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( t$ k* D# p& W" W$ U$ pIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。) W7 a: B- R: ?; d. P8 h/ C
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
  M, h% I. h2 r' Q9 u" J9 {Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
* o2 g+ A. e7 P# J8 rHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）8 ?+ J2 d. J3 n, E% M
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.* `, _* P( L) K% V: e7 @
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
4 m4 T/ q& j1 B( mHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）2 w4 O3 |) U0 I+ A! d$ K5 r( {/ R
Watson: Get that out of my face.! D" n' \- Y  i+ r: p
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.3 I3 C* E- P8 ]4 V- p* K( V
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
7 Q8 _' D: y4 ^  ^0 Q% k路人警官Clarky上场。
; }1 {! Q, t/ q0 b) @Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
! I5 m6 \% {3 W' A- p% _Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
$ E& k& i8 `/ W/ |* [得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
. U, ?# c+ H4 {  \! W2 g6 j' b& QWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
. z: `* f& m, D$ [Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.9 z2 z( Z2 {. x: [7 R% U7 Y
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。' E* x# W+ G* t' _8 b0 a! k
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）$ f7 U' z" |8 c+ a4 q! d
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.7 S8 b0 ]# m( Q7 w8 \
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）; X& }- T: ]% @# x. ^
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  w; i1 u; ]# ?3 V河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
3 g( B  ]% N; CHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）2 E' I3 t9 {( D! O' u! Z
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…$ }4 Y+ i: u9 c! |( o/ l8 w
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）4 y/ u+ O8 ?, X& H$ G, y* H; r) C# p1 ]
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。9 l6 O2 T+ j; v  P+ `8 r; _5 O* J/ B
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
5 E+ v, X+ ?9 E" G* s& a1 o" s0 Q后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
% n( g/ z$ w, }8 Y/ D; r1 [1 e! nHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）  R/ z9 l1 N  l7 A  |
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+ D+ A# q8 H, a# f, W  N4 @3 p9 z警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。1 {. J  L. U% `1 u) @9 Q7 z
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.. X  C- \8 b" C& |9 [! ]8 g: v+ Y; z8 d
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# d$ S9 d3 v4 J( |接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。1 k6 X; l. E* I& j; C) ]
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
3 N) l% ~+ n  o$ @( dHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）/ U5 C: s6 O4 i+ y) I2 X8 F4 _- o$ W
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）8 @$ B" \9 t- l, h: m
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
- }0 k9 G6 [& C* |2 RMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?- Z" E- l2 Y6 N4 j/ L; V
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
4 R3 A/ S4 [8 Z7 `+ ^Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
" G$ X; v7 H, |: a1 ~; K/ g8 g0 JWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
0 p  F* ^9 N$ J, G' pHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）9 u* P# S  P* E. [1 h, m! r
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
& W8 N% r/ M+ s$ J! M# G. UMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
, v* t3 c6 s+ i: T8 X; K2 J5 B$ P（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）' h/ ]% y0 T9 c' R1 w3 q8 i! G
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……