《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。9 z4 D+ H' p0 V. @/ ]
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
2 g" {0 x: R  nHolmes: I just picked it up.
) T7 ]7 f$ U4 m) x/ c. HWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）1 I0 b$ j$ ~  K9 B( ~' J1 ]
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
7 R6 G* m/ ^5 ^8 z: u2 ^6 w) t7 qWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）. \5 w/ S* s& s0 t
Holmes: You did.5 l% u$ X% Y/ e# _
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
" b9 {# W$ T, ?; S5 iHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.7 c8 H% i6 I' L5 {$ r
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。7 R; e7 ]! `- [
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.7 }# w% f; j" l1 h/ t
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。- v$ n3 s: C. K- f/ U1 C8 _9 h
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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& s8 G" y* b3 `5 u; d拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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0 m' F' o. j  }; \8 P7 i) zWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。- A; d) Z7 G9 B+ o# K/ c/ x3 b8 a
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）6 R' A6 {) |3 e6 x8 \# q
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。: h7 K8 h& p- J) [
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! O' l8 l6 Z! GBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。4 L: G0 U& U/ P2 {& T- X5 V
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
1 t4 ~5 I+ U8 n% o$ IIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?7 |, s9 @3 r: P" Q. S$ b
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）3 ~1 N5 e- \: Y1 ^6 o) s; n. [
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.% M8 h7 W- n  q: u
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。* n9 V: W5 E5 H' I/ C6 L
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
! P2 u4 I+ }% l1 w  ~4 H4 tWatson: Get that out of my face.
( H  P: L% [  YHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.$ r$ q- u2 d- b4 ?) G
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
7 X: G' ]% p. ^+ i3 r+ U5 G路人警官Clarky上场。
1 l/ S3 C/ D9 o' g" x; n& KClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
, Y" |$ `6 N% Y$ q* ZHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）2 {% N5 ^. G6 N$ U3 f' ^0 Y' R
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。3 g0 S6 h" D5 E& R5 \, J
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?7 `+ J3 i( t# O) ^  |4 D
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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% e0 m+ S  @+ Y& ]) v( c墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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7 b' Q2 L; G+ THolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.: y4 Z9 |/ M9 y* S) y
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
4 H) `4 B6 @% T2 RHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
1 d  E4 m% w. E0 [* ^- z4 fBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…( h) d5 r/ x& u0 `6 x
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）2 [  d6 l& Y7 s- C
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。) W. z4 K# @- ?( w% G9 M
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）4 o$ `6 `5 x% G' j/ e% J
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。& L9 F/ {. C: P3 V
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）! b- a) j  J& Z
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# N# q$ b0 e9 T5 Q* x% Y1 q警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。0 J- ?( @; e5 U9 {2 O
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.4 r; \0 _& t$ e" g4 G& N
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
% U% V' b3 {* ~$ a% C7 J话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。' h; i( V0 I) t  d
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）3 ~3 A8 x. G% \2 t" n
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
5 h8 R  m2 o. }: S' A+ R0 iHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
/ J: V9 n1 v1 q3 N3 AMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?6 ?/ p. y# X- K/ B
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
, n$ U7 S8 A, g# cHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）: g9 d+ w4 F/ P9 b6 t7 k9 n
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
- Z7 U/ l0 K. Y3 |Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
$ o  |! r& P, V( oWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
9 S2 w/ Y. `- d. [/ q# `2 xMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
5 _) B" o- s* d' z! W( G! D（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……