《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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0 y  d: M1 P- n; U影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。1 a. Q$ F2 X( Q/ a. K0 V
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
# |) K0 _4 h" D: E# |! @" XHolmes: I just picked it up.
# X9 U+ l8 L! o% {Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）: j  k0 n0 ^1 w. y% c
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.) s: {; m6 `/ q1 y. R
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
8 {6 z" F$ |' M# B* Q9 zHolmes: You did.: }4 j2 d" W/ f- Q, E6 m3 g7 n
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
% ?$ @  t& T2 K" H4 z& j% r1 \Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。$ q- r; C5 ~% q6 u% ~, O
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.' O4 A. I2 z/ Y$ ~% A
Holmes: Granted.
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8 A( G& {/ |6 P6 ~# N9 C; g/ m$ E晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
, U( o: M- L4 tWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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0 _" W. g+ Y/ ~拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。) [" j8 @7 y4 `8 b
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) ~) |" W: x* S  fWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
' H# ^& K& S7 i  Y+ F" t7 \, zWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）2 v4 c  U: M- I% E  `* @
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。& x# k7 n1 @2 L  l5 _
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0 ~0 F( b9 v  _Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。' ]* b4 Y/ O2 A% C" N
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）4 n2 w; L1 N8 }. ~
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?6 ^0 U) E9 N( m! ?; V' L
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
+ i! w/ [  A: r( x: R; m, X, J8 QIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。- x7 n3 l5 n$ m. H: F
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）. w% M8 p, v& N7 \/ J7 L
Watson: Get that out of my face.
; s8 |1 x  F; m. ^9 o' K# qHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.- w; I2 y/ b& |0 Q1 c
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.) g2 T; p: q1 p6 @+ Q
路人警官Clarky上场。
, A+ T" e0 g* B2 w+ L& RClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.7 k9 X7 i, s$ W6 x
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）+ M) Y  M. Y5 A& R2 e. }
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
: h; n: k) c3 G. S5 p' PWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
8 o! d# j, `) t% lHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。; y: ]( B! _# F0 j8 h
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）5 n" W# z$ o: P' G1 J: V
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
8 {9 q. i( G8 v' x; |* s: v* GWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）& Z+ Q* F5 ~/ C0 I' s! ?
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。4 g, e. f& p; G0 J, u
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
+ q) z8 R0 ?( H! k5 r( ?3 R% UBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
- q; _2 I. U5 d0 m5 g5 g1 fWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
- t4 J$ }$ a. ~! e, M+ s死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。6 t7 `# h+ I+ k+ ~% o" P/ J, M8 o/ j
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）& L  p: b5 R! Z6 R: x
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。. `' _& e, S: S/ X" ^
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）& Q+ q# w4 R# R% m" z: K0 ?9 \
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
, V, @1 |2 {, [/ ELestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.1 ~9 N# T$ ~! p; s. M* ~, Z6 C
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
- n- g. X. e+ `/ c- K话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
( u: L& L* X8 C% Y: DHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）  }: O3 a* p4 v* y# _: w/ o8 j
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
/ {9 Y7 ]" U- {# D6 J4 f5 [4 [Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）& g( g2 a. `; s0 b# R
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?3 T# g1 p# {# s0 t( H. m
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
$ f9 G, s# s+ ?7 ]; R9 o, uHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
# a# p! L' i, `' QWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）% O: r: a! {: N/ G2 Y: e  x; b
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）6 z8 W" z1 a1 x5 o" T
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）( I+ Z- Y0 B7 ]7 v# a( |
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
) K( {8 _+ U: g1 `9 h6 _（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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3 P: u' I1 h6 M% U2 `总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……