 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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: T; p$ Y' o7 N- w影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 & `- ^+ P7 W/ n" @
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) ) m5 Y/ ?' o( {1 Z( d$ w% v- i
Holmes: I just picked it up.
7 _% `9 P$ G% s0 s; C, a4 |! q* hWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
5 C0 ]7 c" z4 Y2 E J. ~Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
2 c; K1 ` D& [1 @6 bWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
# K1 H, s# J& n- m0 u3 P. vHolmes: You did.
8 s6 m( i( W, ?% t% A' M. E# E(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
( R h) \$ X+ e% s7 d. lHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.5 N, p; {; O! Q8 H' I
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
_8 [: Y% K" IWatson: Permission to enter the armory.- B" T: i0 L1 A3 _
Holmes: Granted.3 _ A8 H6 Q) {7 f8 ?& d& v
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2 _ R, \7 _2 o" b晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
5 H6 E0 e/ I2 B# s2 Z( PWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 7 @/ b+ @" p6 p8 L; A/ S
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! k+ P( D' G1 w- U n! i; f; |0 u拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 & C8 e6 C9 E" i
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 $ d' s, L/ r% `5 U0 O5 r9 L5 ~
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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' P0 E' P& X( o- F3 m5 `% v: `Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 / A( M* I) j; P9 l
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 , e1 z2 S; P; {
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+ F" t; }1 S+ _% i: oIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
$ J5 n5 l% f% z% ?) j9 C& s( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
! i7 E. _8 {+ \1 {Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
; J* ?! Y4 i7 I0 q: q7 Y4 q. rHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
0 K; x0 `' E2 y! kIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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! G- d# N' {6 a, m( ~+ L8 SIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
9 N+ W% x4 q4 h6 d/ v6 IHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) , l! d& S9 H/ b* _" u
Watson: Get that out of my face.
; k1 S- T V" w0 }7 m( ^Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
/ N, O& p) {- _9 b/ X- fWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
6 V+ {; q9 `) h, X路人警官 Clarky上场。 3 t8 D5 C1 p% w$ v) r1 K5 X: t$ z
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
& d u% `2 ]! v; F8 G: O, K4 SHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) , K5 H; p: J' `7 M- z7 p
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
; Y$ F1 y3 m o j# l0 RWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? O9 R$ Z# Y7 O
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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' I: i$ ]- ?! R6 |墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 . q$ O; H5 O1 C$ }
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
/ q. j* ~+ ?# }0 n8 t( u0 ~# UHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
) d# z7 c- c$ P: `) G' O+ [, E8 XWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) 7 q3 x) J: f+ t& Z2 O& J
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 * _+ k! D* V8 b! i1 _3 F$ G
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
B. O+ t( R4 t! C C/ D) GBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
6 N$ B! I- g! ~" r& |0 F. y% }. tWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) ! x# v- O5 {/ ~6 \% ?
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
8 A! V- l3 q" R* N" eHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) ) K: R4 A% C# b$ y3 X7 c9 X
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 . E" Q2 I, \2 k, @
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 1 I; z% c5 p/ {6 K( B) h
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 * X2 T$ H+ K8 P3 L
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 6 f. y' Q& {3 [: u. f
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
7 e& k8 ~# M- l1 VHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) ( L4 ^2 A i, ]5 j; D% c
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
5 ~% O' b' E+ JHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 8 h# v- ]4 z0 I, F, b+ i- v
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?2 a% n5 y) {7 M! ]/ S; c/ a- z
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
9 V; m( Z! b5 j8 QHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) / @, V0 G ?! _2 x, Q% G& z% d
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) + a* S" {" s. O7 t' b
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
; r* P4 N- a% s6 L I! e! R6 {Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
, D- z4 o" { J, M2 xMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
0 c6 {# w+ ^. H! G8 p0 Y( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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# q6 F9 Q& z! A总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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