《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。; L; b( ~7 l+ x* F. G3 k+ X( L$ Q
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9 x. q1 [0 ~4 \. I; C: k影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。, V8 t% Z% D, u8 t
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）3 G9 E9 z5 J. g4 T8 b: W
Holmes: I just picked it up.% w  M5 X) a+ A" b
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
, _8 H6 L! C4 mHolmes: Knew I forgot something.' Q3 s' T% u3 H' m+ z
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
9 v8 u! e3 ~( A* }; h8 ]3 h1 KHolmes: You did.
7 }, [: Y9 O3 a) N（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）  s8 M7 z1 A1 t4 u. m  P+ U; U
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.! i$ n5 h) p2 ]3 g5 K
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. p* S! M% Q- I$ U6 D宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。) j( \2 R2 M! x& r! W, P  G# [+ ^
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.! o0 V; F- Q( S* u6 }
Holmes: Granted.3 `- k5 c: B" S/ l8 |& T
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
$ X6 b: q" M0 B* U4 `Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）2 u8 ], W1 o6 ?9 ^
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0 l8 S, t- V0 m$ G1 P拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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2 n. }( T8 c7 O( Q! f: |' W  RWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。/ k( ^5 E6 ?; ^6 ~
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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# b2 p7 ?) v+ t$ DBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。/ _8 ]* `2 F9 ^3 E
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
4 j( i4 z9 U2 U' K( T3 N（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）" X! f- L7 r# [' m& p8 ]6 K7 j
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?- B# G! Y: L# k5 h7 z
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）0 ~4 ^6 }$ X. k& ^" S' }
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.  @: v$ O* Q# }7 E! Y- J
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- Q) V" U( V+ n) IIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
. @7 ~* S2 h4 hHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）" Z' T1 F" C# _0 R
Watson: Get that out of my face., v$ K& c: x1 e. ?  z2 ~9 R) q
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.( o0 i$ D& `/ s
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
% P8 e& B  X$ n* i路人警官Clarky上场。
  i, U9 i" i7 }8 S0 o% G$ m4 XClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
! t$ ?; r0 q" V0 x5 Q9 h: GHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）  _0 b& R5 Q. }+ Z
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
8 ?6 t' N- D% w) J1 BWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
8 g- Q  d. ^, y4 a, ^Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
$ P- F  [" V0 ]  I( v（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）5 ^8 @) [+ U' ^5 {& l" h6 C* J
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
* A$ U& r9 `: [6 X5 o2 {/ T6 \Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）0 G0 L* s; {/ U! h
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5 Y6 ?( E0 F& B* B2 N' I  z河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。8 `) y0 S* @* U* P' g- c9 ~
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
3 O! G; l0 ?2 U7 A+ kBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…" o- v+ B; L/ g0 v- z' Y8 C
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）6 F2 Q2 A" h9 l7 c3 {( h# x8 y
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
! v2 b7 M1 |4 \6 A, F% cHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
2 c- x6 h% e. h, ]) M& c后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
0 o# S) [% s# T" k9 _0 g- g3 SHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）% H$ y8 N" G) M+ ~9 E
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4 M/ O6 L0 }% d- d" P  ~8 |警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
/ e* p, \. @$ \- |* CLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.! A6 R! e6 P1 F7 @
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" D- T# l, s: d$ k$ i( @" C接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
6 v' o; N1 \/ q" J' V) T: Z% w话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
! Z- `  I- D- N; N5 ^$ l1 L* a# b! QHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）" ^9 r0 i$ e$ h& E4 }5 E7 O9 j$ P
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
9 \  L4 r% V. x5 o4 }+ K  }Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）  I- V: ~3 Y& j! R/ O
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
! q( X6 Z5 ]0 Z; zWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）3 ]. W2 n1 m, C9 V4 ^5 e
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）6 f! I0 n% F  G3 z3 X* p- O
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）  U+ X. D. I. s9 P1 i8 o8 g
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
( L5 {( ]; m5 X2 v, aWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
% o  i/ s" Q4 x6 o& L& qMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
* ^( M+ K7 ~" K3 {（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）! g% x" R. b% i
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/ A) P( a2 c; ?2 G0 M& H总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……