 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 4 A( L$ F0 z. m$ r
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
! S$ y7 G5 ~) n' I0 @! BHolmes: I just picked it up.3 s0 V$ i. {9 u
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
% O$ @3 n0 j8 r$ V/ ?$ o# THolmes: Knew I forgot something./ g; A' T w8 R( L; L1 B( E
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) - Z7 C4 f/ K! D! U
Holmes: You did.
6 G, a! {8 q, e9 i3 V O(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
% x. J0 j7 n9 V' @" LHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.1 R8 R; K/ I" T7 L
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 9 R3 }* D" ^" M
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.# T: P% m) p7 U# ^5 Y0 v' F) G0 S
Holmes: Granted.- l$ t. ?$ e" Q, N+ l
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
5 g: a& @" q- xWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 1 ?; [$ ?- ?( d3 B( f5 O
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 , p- p; T7 o p
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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/ i& f9 Y2 y5 x5 O* zHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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$ v5 G! L- k( @( G0 W) L; F; ? zBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 7 t, J$ c* L3 o( B% F
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
/ d. I8 x9 l9 A1 E; d$ ^' {( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
8 J, d% @$ W% I3 U' ?- u, o0 zIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
; I4 r2 {* X; c- H+ V% @1 L. ?Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
* `0 P. ?- t; g/ n6 _& xIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.1 R0 n: @, T$ p D" b
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0 G7 _. ~& s9 UIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
U4 ]8 {& g1 X+ zHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 4 o5 |8 A! I q$ c" C
Watson: Get that out of my face.
1 @. }( D, r; O% C1 k. E4 ]Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.2 Q+ y4 c# k' K7 M* \
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.$ b6 `' n$ k, ]6 ?
路人警官 Clarky上场。
+ g6 A1 H3 G. l& l; M: X8 QClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.1 p1 a6 I6 G O- V5 E, x
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) + R7 X6 U' L. n, m8 x$ z% l1 \
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
; m* \% B/ s+ s8 K% `Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
! H! s% i4 ~% [6 jHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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/ J# d# k9 ^1 e. Y* N* s& e墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 9 t( I5 L/ B+ X" F% @
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
' Z5 P2 Y5 B" B/ xHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
5 x7 ?% |+ d G: D, ]+ pWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
( L! C; n, P" ^$ y. F. k6 }Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
6 i8 |. J* g; n X/ ABlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
* w5 @' U: Z/ M9 zWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
8 Q* ?8 @ J3 n死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 3 P: V' T6 }" `3 t5 p
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) . z; Z+ A Z' b7 T' Y
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
3 I" F& L: _" w, g0 n6 \/ M# Z- S/ yHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) . N; {' u+ l0 x0 }& v- w! i7 I, c8 \
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 , j3 i' p! c5 `1 h
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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$ H& G* j* c: ?3 W接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
0 V: k/ k6 ^' x# H& @话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 ! X, Z# U7 f/ l
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
( |; r/ g1 q% }* m4 U- J# GWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) / {( J0 r9 R' @) Q; e6 f
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
6 G. h- F C8 x0 U6 RMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?) u. s2 ?* s' ~8 @
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
" ?" L2 Y! V6 L+ x! ]$ ZHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
% t0 d* Q$ L, G T7 |# G4 ZWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) . I7 f$ b9 d9 e/ Q! f" s
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
" F7 H8 ? s6 `& i J* vWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) ' \# l% }9 B( b$ Y/ A. e/ M- C) K
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
$ R8 j4 O m# C) q( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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