《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。9 m5 g7 Z& d" G. m- D
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2 N" Y# B1 i& B5 f影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
- Y0 x& I" w* Q1 lWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）; }+ Q' d1 v" K: h" t1 C- X2 k2 h
Holmes: I just picked it up.
2 i" j0 T- i6 Z- \4 dWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
/ w& \  {  c% T& B. Z. P' `% M3 lHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
7 J! t' t( D( K2 x4 @' L, yWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
! |& a+ U3 y- m' X4 G( u0 rHolmes: You did.. T! c) q* b4 R7 z
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
6 c2 z. Q7 w0 c) xHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.: \; B* y% J4 i2 \
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8 f9 }0 D2 C9 o$ P, \% P" h宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
$ g! Q% Q* X7 Z% m/ g8 RWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
/ o  D0 C, x2 C" f9 Y2 k  OHolmes: Granted." \, q  i6 n4 u5 K* \
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。/ Z) k% h: x9 S
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）  N7 o, u& Y' K
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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& C' x  m  q% b2 e; `4 ^+ B5 nWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。6 A$ E3 }, w: s" t  n1 n& a0 ?
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）7 I% S) E/ T3 i- V( Y4 l$ \2 [/ p
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* B$ L' H  H  e. g% XHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。; k1 a( A6 ~7 L* j
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  p* ~5 F$ O- S4 M* [- o& qBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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/ e  o. N4 D5 u( ~% h8 CIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。; g1 F  H" {; I3 h/ u$ O: ]2 E- E
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
: Z7 _- k: D4 X3 z, MIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?+ h7 y8 P) f+ H( H& g* r0 K4 e3 Y
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）: O" P/ R, v1 K$ [5 x1 H. m" \0 x4 c
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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3 ~7 Q: V' L" {0 X' T6 Z" n( LIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。( }3 M& K% X9 T5 A' U6 j. a
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
( F0 W3 s3 V* k. cWatson: Get that out of my face.
6 x2 b  a$ f9 d; R$ l% t7 EHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.; H3 d# G% h' w3 F
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
! q) }9 A4 z+ K路人警官Clarky上场。
1 {& x" y5 y1 g  yClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.; B1 g1 q3 l; z" S, g; G
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
$ }! p' B# r( x. h" ~" L- \5 B2 }8 T3 m得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。. `, y$ t3 y% |; d! L2 z
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
3 m' ~+ W/ g, p3 y+ L1 b( o- uHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.& T8 P1 o  O- ^0 z" X& k! O" a  c* R
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。3 J$ g- f7 J4 ^
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）9 `) G! D0 f0 A: I! X
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
5 e; _$ _* k' a8 M  \Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）7 S2 X# Y) [+ M& z) v$ p+ @
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9 X+ f1 a% B$ d7 y& L# F' i1 j; e河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
8 h+ I+ W- A: `8 |+ A# [$ }2 fHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）4 l! R# o; ^, F7 M
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…% N" A" W! H! b' [, T8 k
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
6 X  e* [7 m9 N) @; I$ G; d死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。- m% B3 G( U) v4 d- K. c
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
9 Q; }) v+ ?! m- M# a# O  e: j后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。% C4 e- V% T. V
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）' B% G; M) Q  N& B# W  ^" ]4 \
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
1 x( h  V0 x9 D0 S! A1 zLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.0 w$ j$ D$ D8 m% P- U; ?9 H
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% W% t2 Z" s& v接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。1 M8 N8 P7 G7 A* q' u
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
+ u9 [- h; x8 w3 h( J2 E9 iHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
2 W8 c; `- x& {* J( C' BWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
- c) _* z! e0 ^Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）' y  R1 X' D! \6 J
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
, d# G. Z7 H9 J# l$ u2 m7 [0 WWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）) a# @4 q6 L4 |' \! j7 A
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
; G' C5 Z$ n3 J: g2 ?* d; YWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）6 X. q/ E) v/ D( O1 K6 j- w
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）$ L& u$ }* ^: ?9 z  Z% F1 l4 Y: S
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
0 q' o% N  H+ K: IMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
6 E+ d: e1 E4 ?9 v  K, B  u（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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9 y6 I. ^' j' j  H总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……