 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 - Z; q( _7 ]8 w( C: y
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
. i/ g0 q* F9 v- U9 HHolmes: I just picked it up.9 e. Q2 k/ U- F: R! Y+ o4 G6 z
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
) [# C: u" {! @Holmes: Knew I forgot something.0 w# A8 ^0 v% k( c
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) / X& k' w, D& I6 u+ A `; P2 W
Holmes: You did.
: d. A; I3 @; _& T; m d! W(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
) t4 ^0 T) \3 C9 KHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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+ A: y2 P. Q7 h- D4 } F: S& p宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
9 Z0 u( I5 w |7 N6 c+ _Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
7 J5 n- q; Y* t5 OHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 0 w9 _% Z9 r& _* ~2 t% U
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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) L6 T; j8 P$ z" S拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 0 Z4 w# @# x; i& F8 W
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
; p2 \0 i4 y& V% iWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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' h+ U2 w# B* U; I% eBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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$ C: ~( A- h* Y* }8 [2 lIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
& H6 i% Z5 F4 Y) I c( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
! k! \- f( q; A3 p- KIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?9 T+ y; j+ E; g4 d
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
% O- h X3 w! x% P. ~Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.- p0 x! e) Z* j- ^0 n0 {" t
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
, y" ^+ z, f# |6 z8 o% rHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) " E4 d* e d. B3 W0 T
Watson: Get that out of my face.
4 O' b+ L! _5 K( x- AHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
# ^9 n1 s n/ |. S1 \4 BWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
9 A, q$ d7 \9 @ O& |4 K路人警官 Clarky上场。 * ` r! Z' }% v8 J J! v
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
7 H/ O* K4 q4 J( J+ BHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
" ^3 u. o! z, y得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 ' Y5 A( B+ Z0 w6 G# H
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?4 }/ y% e5 I0 L2 d1 W7 \+ A
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.$ m+ C* N g |/ R' r( @$ I4 K
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+ d+ y/ x% }; W墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
( s& p1 r3 P; f2 N' o( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
9 B( T- K; q! n0 S7 s/ T8 N8 \0 sHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
# R6 W6 L# C7 u$ F1 W0 {5 ^Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) k+ y; Y/ z2 z3 }
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5 A3 K1 A7 p5 z河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 : _7 p; j6 V7 g% g1 j8 J
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) ' E0 k' e2 j/ q* Z9 _% k* @4 m k
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…4 D n* |6 D( @; N, i$ b/ G
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
/ H. P. C9 o* c死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
6 U& j, E; O6 [" J" qHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) 1 r0 Z* T$ h& H! J
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
) w- `* a( ?" s& x9 @" ~6 {8 k" D8 ZHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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/ C( }5 \3 O" A警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 9 G$ A1 p9 x( Q! n/ Z
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.$ h) S2 ]+ r3 t. g8 D
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
* h0 i/ J6 s' ]& }% U* J话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
, }1 @, t0 H9 B3 ~Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
0 ]0 N: o: X0 t ?3 }$ ` u2 _Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) ) B0 ~: [3 G% N% E9 N, u0 S
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
- n# L! c4 l. `9 EMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?9 A/ ]! M* h ~; |# f1 v0 z$ c! Y
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
2 e7 R7 M* y, k4 PHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 1 k! k' Y7 s+ S1 L9 T% @: f, J
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 0 n/ O. J) o" I$ c+ B1 I; E
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
4 l0 x5 G0 y e7 w) OWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
# u: ~$ B& {$ @- _% U5 TMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) 8 W2 J+ R9 C ^# e1 u
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) 6 I* ]5 d; l3 z5 c, j! X
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1 ~7 ], J3 l2 O. p% T总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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