《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
4 \# t- t6 D" X6 v( m***********
! Z2 `6 [! L& F; E& L  w1．
0 E4 l1 T/ d" W, d: w影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
+ C8 G7 g4 }+ y7 N: P% w% sWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）. q; w& _4 V% v3 I0 J' F. j
Holmes: I just picked it up.
3 l& N5 b8 [$ k) Q& H  ?Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
( f# I+ P5 J$ f" c+ a, ~Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
4 O3 ]8 d( A/ O: k# g, x3 M8 N2 WWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
8 D' {* v  Z9 u( {( B- `Holmes: You did.0 R# [6 P1 @/ j7 g, r  q
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
) \% \- \1 J1 h* HHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
% S7 _" J- A- S) t: c+ N- j2．$ Q* Q, c& t7 X1 x2 ~
宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。, f: Z/ o$ A' y
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.2 x  N8 n6 y& h4 d3 ?6 I% n  m) E
Holmes: Granted.8 q  s$ k3 e4 O* V7 a
3.
1 k- W( h( e. q晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
; e9 q$ H/ h: S! \" dWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
- @/ e: _6 e$ m4．
4 J1 v+ e9 S' a& B* ^- D拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。: e* n# h: b' w. M
5．( n: H) j: y, D1 ^8 g
Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。' P6 I$ [6 s4 m# u1 ~" P
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）" T/ y! B+ m* g6 y
6．( B; j6 F/ n& \
Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。( w7 y. m. s% i. n7 H
7．6 ?# {8 B: g2 x& s+ b
Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
; q1 q; _' O- j3 i0 B. r6 O+ h8．
6 t8 f5 D8 U% q% rIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。; C7 T% T  |5 w& S1 n, _
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
9 O/ E6 W! T- L' t0 v8 _Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
. Z$ y" m: f6 iHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）9 E+ l, q0 m7 c7 Q
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.( ~. B: P7 y: I( a/ a. `
9．
) r( A1 o: T  `% w, o) ?9 rIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。9 Z! J0 Q) S5 `/ K: X* X
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
3 R1 S+ Z" g  t! f$ b8 N0 R# _Watson: Get that out of my face.5 g  @9 O- y% s+ S, P" G& p
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
( R! w+ O: g; ]9 Y6 |; v% w! hWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.; t0 o5 T: M5 |0 z9 G1 E" o
路人警官Clarky上场。. Q4 r+ B9 }5 Y$ q$ R+ h5 ^
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
& p7 v8 P4 P6 h+ {! eHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
9 l; a0 y- p3 r2 v) @% ]得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
0 ~- L  e( S% MWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
9 t* F6 ^5 [/ I7 S& T" QHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
! }1 q6 a( I# h3 ~10.
5 `6 ]: t; I& _7 ?2 T! u! n墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
3 y# P0 u) x+ r1 f7 U, w（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）& U; x) d' e; V# t. a$ N* n
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
, e% M2 C0 g* c* V3 G0 N9 sWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
. x  a5 V; r: E! Y* i# ]11．
- b7 }& y$ s- F: L( }$ g8 W河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。% b  M  C3 b7 s! V; M9 }6 j
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）" a* Z4 u( Q. E; @3 o
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…7 I  T' w8 ~! [) u5 {& O. Y/ a
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）- |% g, R0 Y3 O5 @+ i4 I& s
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
: ~( ^6 X2 q% d, y4 `) XHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）# S* d6 C( x$ }) S" Y* R
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
! C/ q8 Z! G1 ]& N. j+ ?% dHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）* |. e" I# s  S
12．# o/ J0 @6 ^( M% D+ Z) T+ a
警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
$ m: b/ k$ q3 E, Z5 M+ ELestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.3 O$ U: G  M& d
13.3 w4 f; z' f; E/ ]
接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。, Y3 f! M, q9 |# k: l9 h! {
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。6 M( `' J4 ^: G5 C1 R
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）7 A' m  U. \! b$ V4 d8 i) t. M
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）. k3 V+ w# ~( s; {
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）3 N$ h" j9 \8 J
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
( v' D3 \( Y/ fWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）/ [, n9 b! A; R4 M' z+ E
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
2 s( c$ b- k% hWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）. e7 M. T/ g5 N" l1 `
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）
! V) {7 I" f( e1 `# |6 TWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
9 @8 w. i6 W7 NMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
0 b6 k8 U. m2 l' `! t- Q: v（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
6 T2 N4 v% T; L7 t/ i  C" ]***********+ z6 I- G5 a. N# ^. k% A
总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……