《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。7 K! \, C5 S* \5 W% |/ }
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）) v3 s  m8 `0 X" ?& I
Holmes: I just picked it up.
) _  N% B: i: J5 a+ d0 G8 n1 c) W+ bWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）5 u2 E7 n( t& L7 W6 }
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.8 X! Z) y' j2 Z4 T  V5 ]( p
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）: s3 L0 t+ {9 t! f5 O( ]& z- }
Holmes: You did.
: Q  d5 d7 b. M+ ^6 b# F（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）' \! ~& d, Z0 d% I. l
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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% C2 u  J# ]# B- B宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。2 e) w1 w; x6 Q" f' R
Watson: Permission to enter the armory., H5 e/ U& W+ w. k  j% r
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。  H6 l5 D1 l# h. s
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。1 T2 G* N6 r. e0 \& R
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。4 |  |0 T; n1 F' H. D+ W' y* f: Y( P
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）/ {6 h! a( c; W3 V" m
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。3 m3 Y4 x, Y; v0 ^
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8 p5 j! \+ k/ m8 H9 t$ lBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。' G- J. b. q- f% \2 s# K% V1 |
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
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/ t4 m0 h/ [7 D3 n) {Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?% r5 r& \- r9 \4 a
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）! C, Z1 d, Q! m  i+ u
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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" M8 f: ]7 ^) |/ q8 c" l4 o. W; F6 VIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
, H( v8 z: W9 ~8 j. s8 K; RHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
) ^6 V5 o  u% t# i/ U* F/ TWatson: Get that out of my face.$ s5 l& T, ~9 Z7 J" A
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
6 y) Z* k- j7 p* PWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face." V9 E* d/ g7 I, p( N
路人警官Clarky上场。
% I2 Y1 D  J4 ~" ?5 SClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
2 g0 \$ ~# E  z; p1 D$ iHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
" t( B; W* y1 |7 \# f得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。& d5 j5 w  a) O, L  \" g
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
2 ^8 D& ~. {/ v- x2 a$ V$ \" kHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。2 x" ~% U% j1 w, w; Q' J9 k& ?
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
' `/ P6 T# A8 R& [. w1 \Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
4 H! Q! @& }2 j! l/ i5 `: A  QWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）9 S/ Q& M$ s" n0 f. P
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。* R2 m: E; S) U. {, `1 D0 {4 w
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）" [# \5 ^) D% e5 s
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…$ t0 C; k8 J  o) Z! T5 a! }; q
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）$ j: j, L+ N$ k; R
死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
) t- ~' E1 s4 P/ g8 ~4 LHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）, T8 k: F8 D' P+ \
后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。  e* s# Q# z' K% }, i
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）# `+ x2 t$ Q3 k! H( t2 Y( I1 m
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
' @! r" C1 k  ~9 R! f' f7 eLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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* @# Y! ]9 F, Z+ P接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。' L$ S" @$ M& c6 n, U* z
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。% D9 B- s+ d5 n' l+ r
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）3 k# D6 k2 F, I
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
9 }  t+ X# L6 s$ x# E3 yHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
: W) u4 A+ [# o$ Z2 @: ^. F5 rMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?' W4 K7 [9 G5 Z. W) ]1 O  d
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
( S" ?2 E7 M, f, b+ b. p. KHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）9 H9 D6 r# `3 T, D3 \
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）) _1 H5 N2 [) ?+ ^, @
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）, M6 A" x+ u) n# t7 c
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）1 ~2 [$ r5 R' d
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）7 T0 b3 C) }" ~, m/ v$ k
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）. ~& M3 a8 `9 x4 g$ j* _: B/ i
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; Q) k4 K' A" n& \; _0 W! h总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……