 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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0 E4 l1 T/ d" W, d: w影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
+ C8 G7 g4 }+ y7 N: P% w% sWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) . q; w& _4 V% v3 I0 J' F. j
Holmes: I just picked it up.
3 l& N5 b8 [$ k) Q& H ?Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
( f# I+ P5 J$ f" c+ a, ~Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
4 O3 ]8 d( A/ O: k# g, x3 M8 N2 WWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
8 D' {* v Z9 u( {( B- `Holmes: You did.0 R# [6 P1 @/ j7 g, r q
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
) \% \- \1 J1 h* HHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 , f: Z/ o$ A' y
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.2 x N8 n6 y& h4 d3 ?6 I% n m) E
Holmes: Granted.8 q s$ k3 e4 O* V7 a
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1 k- W( h( e. q晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
; e9 q$ H/ h: S! \" dWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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4 J1 v+ e9 S' a& B* ^- D拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 : e* n# h: b' w. M
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 ' P6 I$ [6 s4 m# u1 ~" P
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) " T/ y! B+ m* g6 y
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 ( w7 y. m. s% i. n7 H
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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6 t8 f5 D8 U% q% rIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 ; C7 T% T |5 w& S1 n, _
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
9 O/ E6 W! T- L' t0 v8 _Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
. Z$ y" m: f6 iHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 9 E+ l, q0 m7 c7 Q
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.( ~. B: P7 y: I( a/ a. `
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) r( A1 o: T `% w, o) ?9 rIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 9 Z! J0 Q) S5 `/ K: X* X
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
3 R1 S+ Z" g t! f$ b8 N0 R# _Watson: Get that out of my face.5 g @9 O- y% s+ S, P" G& p
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
( R! w+ O: g; ]9 Y6 |; v% w! hWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.; t0 o5 T: M5 |0 z9 G1 E" o
路人警官 Clarky上场。 . Q4 r+ B9 }5 Y$ q$ R+ h5 ^
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
& p7 v8 P4 P6 h+ {! eHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
9 l; a0 y- p3 r2 v) @% ]得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
0 ~- L e( S% MWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
9 t* F6 ^5 [/ I7 S& T" QHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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5 `6 ]: t; I& _7 ?2 T! u! n墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
3 y# P0 u) x+ r1 f7 U, w( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) & U; x) d' e; V# t. a$ N* n
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
, e% M2 C0 g* c* V3 G0 N9 sWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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- b7 }& y$ s- F: L( }$ g8 W河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 % b M C3 b7 s! V; M9 }6 j
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) " a* Z4 u( Q. E; @3 o
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…7 I T' w8 ~! [) u5 {& O. Y/ a
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) - |% g, R0 Y3 O5 @+ i4 I& s
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
: ~( ^6 X2 q% d, y4 `) XHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) # S* d6 C( x$ }) S" Y* R
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
! C/ q8 Z! G1 ]& N. j+ ?% dHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) * |. e" I# s S
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
$ m: b/ k$ q3 E, Z5 M+ ELestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.3 O$ U: G M& d
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 , Y3 f! M, q9 |# k: l9 h! {
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 6 M( `' J4 ^: G5 C1 R
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 7 A' m U. \! b$ V4 d8 i) t. M
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) . k3 V+ w# ~( s; {
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 3 N$ h" j9 \8 J
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
( v' D3 \( Y/ fWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) / [, n9 b! A; R4 M' z+ E
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
2 s( c$ b- k% hWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) . e7 M. T/ g5 N" l1 `
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
! V) {7 I" f( e1 `# |6 TWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
9 @8 w. i6 W7 NMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
0 b6 k8 U. m2 l' `! t- Q: v( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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