《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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0 n7 N- o' a$ K4 @$ B  q影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。& t% }: ]/ l1 c
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）3 d9 M1 t- N2 U  Y
Holmes: I just picked it up.8 s# b0 ~4 i" n2 L4 Y8 |; f) ]* A
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
. ?9 }+ O) t1 [6 \+ `! H, KHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
  D) n5 ]& \8 W& N- hWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
$ Z3 S: K! A' I: OHolmes: You did.. [; }( x% O  `0 ~2 H' r
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）$ G" K# ~4 Y5 @3 b* ], [; @0 r
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
4 w  g5 H' B& M3 C8 NWatson: Permission to enter the armory.. U0 k- Z" @% t7 y2 j0 O
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
' |" q4 t; \+ j* a- |/ I) mWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）- J8 M* r( D1 u2 K* B4 ]- }
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) x$ T: Q! i  A, j) j拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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9 u, E* u0 L" A1 ZWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。8 V7 J% w4 t" \. _
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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  E. ]1 L& B. a% o! [$ I1 xBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。5 X# e( x6 D) o1 _% q$ S
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。0 C5 D( U" o1 |4 y. r2 o
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）( ~% D' F/ ?/ g" S1 ^
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
' X4 x7 p2 m% G5 b. e# k3 M* k/ e( ZHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
; k; m0 W9 ~( [- pIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。$ Q" a1 b* Y, K2 t
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
8 r: r+ T, a( P+ k6 {2 oWatson: Get that out of my face.
5 N1 [# e. {6 P0 LHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
) j) q/ R" d; |& H# b$ |0 sWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
( I( @8 T' {; o; W路人警官Clarky上场。
; R# s' U8 a3 t' z8 y) VClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
* L" S0 V- g  |" _' lHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
4 p$ _; L4 g; V4 p0 k- M4 \- L得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
3 c0 _' g- ~) [1 G, r3 _4 Q* U3 E$ cWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
" X" w" u5 s0 _1 J9 JHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。/ m6 l" v* c" _6 r) s9 ~! \
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
: w  t) v) m1 D5 k6 M' k) O0 ], {) eHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
6 x: T: J; p7 {* I, J5 [$ u$ {Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
3 X1 r$ U8 o7 c2 m! ^( t* zHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）6 l9 {0 G0 @9 l* }& P
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
" [: X. ^; B! h8 g! Z% {Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
. l0 i; H, h2 z3 B3 A& H: o. s7 t死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
9 B0 G: ~0 A; M+ T" MHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
" v( P( N; B% ~- g6 q% |! i后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。
! j5 ^# \" y+ E7 a7 f" Y0 JHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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0 A- d* d4 r' l" ^: r. o警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
% a0 H% s! c; M; iLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
9 U0 I  d% O6 X( n% ]8 E话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。2 [" s  B2 v  z; C# N" [
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）  I0 A* b3 s6 y$ C( l$ ]
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
$ d/ j( ?; W4 dHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
. Q. X* y1 ^1 o' C" P2 e8 [Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?( }1 h9 b5 d1 o5 a& L/ v+ {
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
/ J! M/ T$ s, d% WHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）- [! Y6 O  K& M2 r) X% Q
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）5 k7 g2 W8 G+ q) e0 h* I
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）- M1 X! N4 V0 k: u# e! b% ?
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
1 K! H) ]' G6 V3 x& s2 xMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）6 l' S) E  z) T( T6 S& y; m# N2 N7 A
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……