《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。% q/ h, g) [* k- v
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8 Y  X( d% ?1 C( H影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
+ e, `$ o/ i3 rWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）, U9 S: a3 d  [8 I% z
Holmes: I just picked it up.
3 R4 V) W1 A8 ^7 {* q6 ]* X' q/ ]Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）3 h! ]% O  q: a/ _
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
1 j* A3 o! k3 jWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
# Y' ]7 f4 E# v5 F3 y$ cHolmes: You did.0 L, L! e# H/ K  U8 |
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
$ f$ v* K5 |: s( X: lHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all." k! Y$ n2 B4 Z9 j
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
4 U2 |6 c# N0 vWatson: Permission to enter the armory.7 U" r' p$ P' W  a) V/ t
Holmes: Granted.
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% t% Q5 H% ]0 b+ c# G晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。5 m" q& Y: {8 Z* S/ A
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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: H6 \3 `! P3 g* S6 V& LWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
+ G/ O3 ~1 H9 b8 I: AWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）! T; L' ~# i' Z$ T; H' r7 L- t
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% B6 G9 U% C% o6 i8 r$ J. k6 [Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。3 [) R: }- K* y! e7 z
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
8 {. B; @  D& Y' |（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）: ~6 m( N: w9 K+ e
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
/ F9 K4 F+ @$ u3 ZHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
& w) ~( Z! d$ O4 o, W# z7 O5 HIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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) W& Y. a' h+ L& [) z/ tIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
3 z0 ?% r5 I! cHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
% y: O8 @: t( X, F, eWatson: Get that out of my face.; x4 A# H* z' y: x! p8 q8 n
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
" F3 u- `9 }# E, _. I) P4 cWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.! a* T: l! s1 x5 K% \
路人警官Clarky上场。0 C2 J" @/ `5 q) W' a6 L
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.2 y* ~. i* z& c+ s+ b! }2 Y
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
" Z. e4 @" {9 `4 Y, c5 s9 s7 _得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
1 ?! G! z) u5 c" F4 i7 K5 U% WWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?  O2 F; r( S9 Q
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.# {1 N3 w& u% p5 s" T
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.* ^$ {) C( L( n( S5 ^4 c5 V! H
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）" q! ~: n4 U) d. Y8 {+ [$ b, l
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
& k9 ^5 ?1 m3 R9 p5 [! h( g8 Q1 GHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
" W, P: s0 _7 S) ?( ^Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
1 s, N8 G% i# B' `  g7 y( `Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
3 k' ]+ H+ C+ e/ Z: |死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。! L  X- {+ S- \+ `' k
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
( P  i# q- w* E2 f. \) R后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。- [6 U' x6 c% L1 j5 o
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）  o4 M% N7 L& r; K- j! f) z3 Q
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, o% H1 e$ T6 w# v4 `警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
; L4 h6 \  H* C/ nLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.6 S7 r4 i5 H2 [& N+ I
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。; T) e2 p9 N6 A' B: S, [, ?# A; f
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。) q) a+ d1 I/ ^1 ]
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
6 I9 y/ g5 w* N/ \Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）. a- l$ \1 i3 v+ x  A( K
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）6 E% J7 G$ P: ]5 v+ d
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
! h& v" T' c0 D& v5 TWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
% a7 y0 |' A8 u" P' w  S5 A+ @- O* JHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
, |. v! l6 V. p) {. j! RWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）% I7 u( K" r6 u/ a" d, D) @8 K
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）0 h5 a! n* v: a) U1 g! _
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）0 c& D! U$ [7 i" f  e
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）8 x0 l& k9 D2 ?& N
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……