《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。0 A* S5 @( ~+ q# g
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。+ q0 W- W5 O0 j. U# s% y
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
: }) T, }8 [5 c: @Holmes: I just picked it up.
3 S4 ?  O% u6 J/ h6 Y* x6 P2 PWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）$ e% w6 `# H. s9 w  i  _$ y
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.! `0 J+ A  ?  n' C# j" y, o: P/ e
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）% U8 G2 o" {  G) p  i
Holmes: You did.
) i4 f, }- f1 C( U/ q" N" {/ d（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）7 O) _: X! }  U( f1 }" i
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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# o8 K6 H2 q+ V$ K4 Q宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
1 N: E, O3 _% E4 t, C8 tWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
/ q3 t6 x( g' H, a9 s6 ^/ m  qHolmes: Granted.9 D2 `' z8 [% I) E9 e
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7 G8 X, e0 p( ?5 p5 ]3 w0 C晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
1 C3 |/ I6 L7 X: tWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。  s. Y$ v2 E( E- H
Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）1 _) }9 p5 ?" ]
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。' v$ m9 O9 s, g  l) g4 @6 t1 ]
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。# z" v5 z+ O4 B. u7 l6 }, t  P
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- O" L$ g. \( V) k4 vIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
7 F8 ^9 G5 v7 C" T; O（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）/ Z) \* G: i6 T9 m
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
% t/ s( h* Z* H- CHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
4 c: o$ s$ g( Y% u5 n( hIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.9 P. z9 d! J2 d0 S- |
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5 Q: r0 n! N# Z/ _0 p4 q# ?Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
! I% l0 t$ d6 M1 i/ j' \4 EHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
# n9 l& M- l: ?$ s/ BWatson: Get that out of my face.
' v, |3 k2 a( z+ N3 `" zHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.% i$ {8 k8 Y2 ~0 d
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
- O, A) C  U, V路人警官Clarky上场。+ f+ Z; b5 L+ x
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
8 J; Q9 W. t  J7 I/ y3 p3 FHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
/ Z' C/ j6 m9 f  a- D* `8 c得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。2 J9 n2 |: o# ~
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?! z7 K/ ~0 B9 Q0 |8 K$ D! r6 @. X
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.6 I. c/ u. }/ p$ e/ h) f/ b
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& @& A2 j- C9 [# R- A墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。. U" _$ m0 g0 S5 @
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）) J( U& y7 J) S' ~4 i8 v1 p
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
& G& ~4 G3 G- B1 o9 F$ N" mWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）8 `& b/ O+ `" Z3 u$ J$ ]# k7 y
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
! \7 ~7 J, [- M4 q6 cHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
8 ]' B9 A% e, T4 wBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
% n3 G. t) q$ a' v. ~Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
4 c& t  t$ F* v- z死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
7 d) ~& F) u0 |3 Y% MHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
0 U" W2 x; Z' Q! h: a后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。' m$ ^" t9 N/ `- f* i/ z" h
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）1 T9 P8 n; I) ?3 B8 v" ~5 W
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
: u, r+ O- T- @# \Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
7 r. P. J* E! M6 P话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。) }. x: k" q# Z. ?, {) C& {5 n
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）! b" I0 h: _$ x3 \  {* _
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
3 y$ n$ V% ]/ |+ m/ }% [3 BHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）5 ^) k' j3 |2 A
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?( R7 V) d% T8 A( G* t2 A% |
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）) {3 L; p$ C) X/ V! v
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）- E7 i$ F: [( W8 A/ e) `, D
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
1 L! t& ^2 w4 C4 \Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）2 J/ y6 i1 L2 ?( I8 D
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
, q- U  _  S9 [% @$ s" CMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
5 l% I! u, P+ ?* I（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）0 Q& ~0 }7 A5 g) ~' X- q: e6 r" M
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, m2 N  Q! O7 \% p, {总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……