《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。; ^" [$ T. }* [* s6 i2 F/ D3 O
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
( z: Y% m4 W0 ^6 ZWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）' v  _9 R! ?$ p4 M% }
Holmes: I just picked it up.
3 ?+ o1 b5 P( T# v: F6 TWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）: a7 P& o/ m1 c5 G. E4 ]1 `
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.1 o: m, [' ~/ n9 c- N2 j
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）5 U$ }6 |% J. B8 z% o6 P
Holmes: You did.
3 M& x3 j: n$ f（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）9 F3 c0 t, a- j' `/ J& P& \7 ~
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.  a! P9 g/ }  `% `! D
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。$ K1 Y+ V6 x$ W6 G& T  T
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.: T" j9 Y- O& n
Holmes: Granted.) r+ p( i1 K; k7 |% R% |. N
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。
! g7 e/ q9 `2 I$ XWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）5 t& l1 b' ~6 h0 _: F
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7 p2 a+ Z- G$ _6 N: f# [" }" z拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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- O3 }2 d# F1 f* j3 J  `Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
+ h# S& C% v& b5 h6 |$ lWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）
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; z  B4 X3 D/ B# N4 ?, ZHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。+ M* j5 g8 T7 F; M- v4 Y
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Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。
0 d% }) u; e7 w" W（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）2 _5 K$ F! O+ h' t8 W+ f- O1 M4 i
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?4 g/ v; C% V- U: u- g+ |5 r" v. z
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）- u$ t7 Z. g. k
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.4 t5 d# y4 _8 O, f: |
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2 N  t8 y. K) \  {% f6 }( KIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。$ X8 _( f( {9 E" X7 A
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
3 R  {( h8 b5 p4 I+ U9 ?Watson: Get that out of my face./ T; g+ R" w( Y( l, [, c( ~2 n! F
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
- L9 O$ x' R" ]. Z* ZWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.1 e" f5 A, V' v& S2 S* F
路人警官Clarky上场。& e5 Q5 s2 _5 U+ o3 Q& e# B' R; i
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
3 ]- \" N+ }( m6 r  P; FHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）
( W. I9 Z; I( p0 Y' C得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。+ Q  E9 E% @" ?
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
% e. ?$ u' L7 l7 Y2 A3 z7 l4 L- u  ?Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
; @" f% T7 O6 p9 Z5 ]3 G7 z（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）+ O4 T! O6 Z  Y% [1 _, Y9 c
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
% r9 q; Z' E/ R1 LWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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8 A- {/ I  h- M9 A; e; Q河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。0 D1 X+ G, ~2 t, a
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）: @0 U; N* L. ], f' u
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…  d7 u  L  K6 B- G/ j: H
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
6 ~+ t. Q2 W; ]7 j死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。' }# w9 j! _. K+ g$ N6 M
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
% Z# c) q6 H5 J" T后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。5 w3 j$ A8 l2 S6 V( M- u: i
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
0 O2 ?( H2 B  J! y( M$ l. Y5 SLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.' J. @2 q. z6 T; i) A) Q  S+ n
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7 ^6 P: \+ {$ g; k, H接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。: a, G# q) b2 N5 ]9 [- P- u  ]
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。% s  m0 p) t, G; Y5 A
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）) d6 S0 \4 t9 e# a/ _1 ~: v
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）/ D: ^! T# H6 P7 Q" g
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）/ p0 T  r. }7 r- I3 S0 E8 O# B
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
: c$ {' }6 M6 c  S6 G. FWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）/ x1 W; d6 p& x% W# m
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
# D9 x% \. [: H( ~: a; L; lWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
4 `. p, C& `3 S8 O) RHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）1 U$ Z% F% x: k/ ]% J& R, P
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）
0 K6 [' K; A( U5 n$ uMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）4 W$ {8 C" Z8 B. b2 l0 @# D9 k6 m
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）
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* i: i. W' q5 k2 l8 Q4 R+ a3 _总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……