《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 / [, S8 |) C% |  s1 ~*********** 9 Z' }( h8 L$ D1 x2 J/ s7 f1． ! S1 y7 m* t* y5 O  w9 x: _% o9 o; l影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 # k% @' p* F: x/ C+ ^8 nWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. ' |# C1 m1 J; }# N5 PWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） 3 i! j$ D% s) q! c) h* sHolmes: Knew I forgot something. . x" H9 m" n8 _- q' L; EWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） , I. W& S' b+ pHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 ( c& r  r. D# w; O* k& JWatson: Permission to enter the armory. ' B* G. _$ M: |. k; m1 cHolmes: Granted. 3. : i' n3 R# c. A9 \. n晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）   q/ D+ X6 v  w  S7 m4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 1 C" a  l, m0 R% xWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 0 B+ i; \8 M1 [5 ?+ \% U' a! |6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 1 c& e3 o, K( E6 [1 @1 E3 y7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． - ]- s' m0 N8 s# q# o. T- P, I2 yIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 & k2 ~7 V8 |. U. ~（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） - L# r! W9 b9 ]4 P+ p; J# a4 LIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. . ]- s. z3 I5 N, _* i+ y1 n路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. 9 ]9 j2 b( W" P5 N7 @9 S, v9 [/ \" bHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. ' j) H3 H7 R- Q3 `10. 8 R7 q8 i6 `& h3 Y1 [墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 $ u" g1 ~. S  U$ A（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） - p* x7 `1 Y2 l7 Y: xHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. 5 k& Z- X4 I5 @2 M4 [Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 ! Y2 a2 i3 Q( k+ d. z' S3 bHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） * V1 @: T* ]2 [2 w2 U. d3 @Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… 0 u3 _+ q5 D2 I4 tWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） ) }- t8 T8 ^3 ?* c死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 6 E! D% E# {" W- VHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）   u% ~* T8 H. }: bHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） " ]7 Z4 `& y7 Y( t! aMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? # W8 r0 ~0 G; X& Y& c+ LWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） 1 {( Z( k5 g) G/ |3 cHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） 7 z" ^$ a* {+ h" i( j$ F) I! WHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） 5 g) B* v  t2 J9 K: ~# G5 P( c9 KWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） : M; c( t0 |# d# B) L" Y2 b+ Y5 TMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……