《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** ' T3 s% ~% n+ A% l1． 4 _0 d3 q* ^. l, ^& F# l& S0 v( s影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. & P# w" F2 M1 _Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） 3 R, |7 g# L8 K9 q* c0 |Holmes: Knew I forgot something. : E* |1 {' x8 q2 L5 e% o6 AWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） # h1 p6 W' c8 y8 e( {4 N$ z: m. \2 a5 ?Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． 0 m0 T/ H$ b& \$ Q. d% ~5 ^. d宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 # e: ~" \+ F) y% H3 f, R- V2 m7 hWatson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. + r6 n9 ~2 j6 n5 y! j1 ?8 s/ R- i3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 7 P/ O, R! A+ P1 A/ b% u3 A4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． : r. n- K1 Y8 S0 nHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 + c) F5 E2 W2 R0 U7 L4 ^  k7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 - C+ l& m3 W4 W8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 ) ]7 n7 O7 R9 }, \& B* B" }（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? 8 x! |% n3 k( _/ JHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） $ ~% e: o5 m' dIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 : I$ b; X$ c/ a; e# B1 B: sClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? 2 G5 g3 Z) l& |0 S0 K/ rHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. - O& f) ^/ v: C5 Z: K" P, l墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） ; m4 u$ Q8 M+ Q. _9 z( P8 F0 Y* v" S" k' WHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 2 ~5 }* ~) q; @" ]' c; [! U11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） 7 ~: l' C- h4 _' c; MBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） ) e5 V# U( I6 ^4 v) g* J12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 ) \6 [/ m. f7 r) H2 |* ^8 |Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 7 s$ @2 K5 ?5 o! }& Y13. : x( `2 p8 t3 h接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 # I% V/ O$ l6 Z. a1 m话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 # I% A; J$ d( [5 i& ]0 d9 D8 sHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） / B/ m$ o. n$ C" k/ h' d: BMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? 6 U) {- P* @" \# cWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） , g/ u, F2 V5 u# ]* |' o0 _Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） 4 q) Q/ t" Y9 H1 ^Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） 3 D$ Q% [3 }# w1 i* S* @3 q: b* oWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） / a4 a; s- U/ V（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** + [! y: b5 ?3 j/ x, |$ y+ A* k总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……