 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 ! }2 a' ^" V D6 \, a) m9 E; X5 W
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# l1 l' N/ K/ _. }/ n& Y影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
0 B" l0 p* A3 T. K6 xWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
- |$ {2 H9 [8 P- S; I! RHolmes: I just picked it up.
; f0 a/ m) G+ wWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
4 j/ O1 W; W1 D MHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
( }" P; D0 B9 @1 VWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
- R+ Z( o1 |* e4 DHolmes: You did.
* G- X3 ~0 n) ]7 s(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
# `8 U" i1 d& ?( n% ]9 yHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.8 R" B& B+ r7 ^# z1 u5 e1 J
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- z8 Q: Y( n; [, _) `4 _+ [1 i5 {宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 5 q) }, ^0 T, S$ R- `7 _/ E* r) D
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
) D ^, i% ~, q. a) U! }Holmes: Granted.( I2 a+ v7 m# u/ L9 M
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 , }5 g; ~# G0 q: N5 P$ ?
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 6 A# L+ z" M. v$ W
4.
* }2 H& L4 g& n u3 V9 u0 ]; q拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 * E4 t+ O q% r; f; D
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, h- s, e$ x5 @6 g0 s2 V" |& lWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
5 q/ S* c0 p1 q, [- \Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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. G- ]: N- W( o. [- x2 ^0 NHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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, k, V2 u/ |7 M$ g* V1 FIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
! z- v: H9 `* U% M2 ]% `) h( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 8 v2 \" G4 U' [4 S( R- o0 [8 v
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?# c8 p: n* l1 Z/ M9 b: m
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 1 z! S$ I3 H, i/ Z
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.9 b- R- M, w1 M( V, _8 i7 j
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- p9 I$ ]2 m6 I/ {4 y+ u! d' EIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 + `) d0 E# c: W/ _0 S# Z& A8 z
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
' ?1 l9 Y1 a8 o6 n2 ^Watson: Get that out of my face./ r. w5 M) r% |/ Q( V& i$ z) m
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.9 B8 A6 L/ E2 u2 F& ~$ c; N
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.# @: b5 J9 u7 N( a5 I7 Y: {' S
路人警官 Clarky上场。
; d( K, c. v0 V, gClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. t$ M- U J; @
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) $ _* z/ f7 f2 ^! C- W, w8 W a4 {
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 8 p0 f" ]9 d. O: ]. X, \
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
) g/ _* g7 z' W5 mHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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+ R, e: \5 d$ P* @1 |3 Z! {墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
/ P, E' ?& ~" D3 W# Z( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) ' {* r# p; h }
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
/ c% c% g) ?( YWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) 4 e7 I# x$ [9 O
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( T' L( ^" n; L+ ^河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 , l2 _/ ?# v5 Q- @5 `; G5 P( E3 H
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
! U, f3 w) V; T1 V. S* PBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
* {3 B( H% W- Y1 yWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 6 F) X: Z! p# w8 z- F$ O
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
7 y( d/ F4 p y1 PHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) , }$ D, K) w2 D( G
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 3 ?. V; g9 A2 G8 A d: o+ h
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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- q4 U8 h: F& [# Y- x/ n警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
5 X, W- w3 ~& ^$ g4 P0 g9 zLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 ( h& x; j8 Q" q4 u
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
) m$ B" f8 E( Z1 f5 R0 \4 j* DHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) ( \ ~5 f D3 y- Y
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 3 H$ X7 K1 d' B# Z5 z4 N
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) * a; b% L8 B" D f& v
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?. G4 l5 h, O3 n4 K% c6 A
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) ! _, ~' Z9 i4 U! ]$ A( v: H- C7 ?
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
, d' v5 v; ]0 P: MWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
& O1 [% b+ ^! |5 m8 A4 dHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
- v& l5 a5 H/ h; U& cWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
- ], R+ Y$ g$ [( H" L" ]" J* Y! OMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
. R( O7 M, ~# Z/ u% M$ A7 i( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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