 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 + Y! @% Z& E7 J
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) . I% F4 |5 S! d
Holmes: I just picked it up.
5 }2 t" z$ o% s) Q5 I& Q8 _Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) 0 J. t; q; n) ~5 C8 G
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.6 ?& ]4 J2 _9 Q y: g/ i& k
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
; f2 k5 ?; b+ t; ~4 a2 P1 bHolmes: You did.5 N; m# \; V, U+ y' `- v7 X
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) ' p* u8 w' Z( _9 V- K
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.0 `( ^( h& m# P( Z
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2 j( i! N f. h* Q) s' K: V1 e* t$ v宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
+ H l. j n. b4 {- YWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
) r2 A5 c; \8 q0 d* k; LHolmes: Granted.; j8 ?) O! A6 E
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
. \6 X2 @4 [' @7 e- P2 U3 B+ }% nWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) . x: \' `# r0 v5 w
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2 ?5 z7 z9 B2 _& ^* Q# f, c# ~# B拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5 r& a8 @! Q ?/ b! {0 o
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 + X/ E! j) m3 w8 Y
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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- @6 k- `% [* qHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 ) a& u+ j$ ]/ o' D* j; h
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4 c7 V0 A" E4 eBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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& k% W$ B/ ]3 C6 l8 U# cIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 9 O: [! c) Q+ G. q8 [# f
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) , ~$ K! e- X; j6 K' a, r
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?/ T4 C) u: u) w. `4 q+ O+ P( L$ o% L
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
! S9 }, @0 ]3 {& @) b; v& r, xIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.2 g- c, Q$ O$ Q* n' a6 {
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0 Z6 I) G2 U/ |; f# zIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 # v( _0 \7 U# V9 _9 f1 _7 }
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 1 h( \1 |# u4 l1 s
Watson: Get that out of my face.
0 {3 P) d8 U/ C3 e1 j+ p0 THolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.# ?* R. A, F) y! ~. [6 O
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
/ }( f0 n. x2 a4 d- w3 a路人警官 Clarky上场。
0 {$ S+ h. x' S$ n5 f' U' E" oClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.3 r7 ]2 A; J# f/ q' j2 U) y
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
# j/ y# z% h5 C. M' W5 o得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
4 G7 v% `* D# y' R& L( v( GWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?- |7 A/ E2 d. M: N+ w5 \" V/ x
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.' V6 ]* u. c1 l6 c( p
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# \: |- l" l' N墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 N! w2 ^( [# n ?1 D) E9 T
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) & j8 L" A: U- H7 J r" k8 V
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.4 F: e6 b) P" ], {1 c& w
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) + Z* w4 @3 X1 A
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5 M) |& z: c) P8 d8 u8 G/ c& _河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 $ i+ {0 F/ {; v2 d6 j7 }
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
' m& T9 s5 b: _3 |# ZBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
. x2 X' P0 d9 n# `6 ]Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) ) |* W$ U E5 h) S
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
$ P( E3 S6 M# `7 qHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) 8 ?4 Z4 b: @% {) g
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
: F6 U* X: t; j3 `% X ?Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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, Q3 N. H" O) k警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
' h1 o9 @( x. Q" L: B( ?# u nLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.1 f0 H- h$ n: T9 y! X
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
% ^7 y. t% U0 b2 }: C! E话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 / k" j& C* q& d
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
! k% Y/ w! t& a8 J) T- EWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
! C* w+ E% f1 b0 i# KHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) / w! A( k& ]1 x! k; I% d
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? L, _/ |1 ]1 l" N. W; d- s! V
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
0 ~0 {6 v( b- C7 w6 _/ _- \4 vHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 3 ~8 | {, S: K- g1 C
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
+ ?" j+ x9 |# W* aHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) / {1 O6 O( p( Q
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
) ?, s7 n2 }9 jMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) + R2 v1 B, [- ?; J/ y3 H* p$ @
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) 1 j! u$ a) h6 E3 T& P1 u) A& j
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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