 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 + K7 Q2 r/ i/ ^6 y! o6 N, C
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) 4 N* A& O" A, S3 x/ I$ I
Holmes: I just picked it up.' l3 ` \* x! M) P
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) , n, s @% m% r2 ], \! E+ s
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.% M% E' } O5 ~' C3 R2 K2 F
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) & E: P& g! K0 U1 W5 I/ K' T* Z
Holmes: You did.
: f# l/ {$ K7 h3 V% n(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
. i( \3 _; R: BHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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% u( x$ `! L* `; R# q7 {宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
8 v7 G9 ` l4 E$ }$ r( t: r! r5 QWatson: Permission to enter the armory.- v; l- N! T: s
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
( F. r A8 q8 G6 E: fWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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5 V2 t. |/ Y- E4 q! gWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 1 Y" o& G( D( z
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 7 i; E3 x8 C! f% u) m% p% p" Y
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) " M1 q' }; g& T# \4 T* t+ I
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?! v! [7 O8 J n; C
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
# l2 i5 u" _, {1 H6 s+ xIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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$ b! Q8 K# U! @" G9 tIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
0 Q1 _. Y2 E- e7 ]' DHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) ; r7 ~5 W b8 Z& b5 A. Q# A3 U6 O
Watson: Get that out of my face.
9 k7 E# T# }' E) c7 mHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.' l6 K6 M# z- l4 ^
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.* V: F! |( P" `2 X% N
路人警官 Clarky上场。 7 W% {# j, V! A. o
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
0 x! k/ o# M; V- E/ L# WHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
6 e+ |. @/ o A" \: J2 m" v得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
5 {7 U z2 h- y0 NWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?& m" {( u; x& `4 O6 F' o" i5 g A
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
0 ^0 A! a- I# |( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) ; {9 D, ^. ~5 q2 r: W+ c
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
* L. m; `: E; Q! ?Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) 4 G/ l* b! z0 t% o. h& q
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 ! X6 U V' S& w
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) # \0 b; R8 V' e6 s2 s- ]
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
7 x+ g- E6 }7 d+ t* t2 n, TWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 1 Z a, @% ]8 `! V1 n; }
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
, P. m3 l: u, _0 yHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
8 _% @% r1 p& n- u后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 ( F5 d1 @4 ]- V- T4 t8 ]
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 . E7 Q5 ^' W% K( Y' v5 C
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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: h* _( j4 f& w接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
1 Y0 g# G6 z5 K; K" p k' D话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
. E. X& _0 [9 N- H# l: g& ^+ l# hHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
3 s% p) Q2 ^3 n4 Q0 U3 CWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 7 S, W2 C$ B" f, Y- d, n" A
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
9 f1 O: B. G5 ^* k' bMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
! b, ^, {* T3 q3 E! RWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
) S! D' L; a7 @- K2 d: _) wHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
4 A: T, k/ o0 O" `2 i) b% CWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
C* t: C$ D1 s: P! C+ ?2 g2 ~- fHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) 5 q% V& D0 W+ U8 }3 p1 w' p
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
- {; Q5 Z3 L2 g5 M; V4 l& `Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) 4 ]1 L( y4 U1 H3 h/ F1 D" q$ E ^
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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8 L. C; U0 G! W4 r S( q0 b总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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