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《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

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洋扬 发表于 2010-3-19 02:24:07 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是Holmes,不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay
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0 u0 j5 _! D: u6 t6 \9 n2 m2 B影片开头,Holmes启动Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的ShrelockWatson一同制服了另一杂兵。- v' B# \: k8 O1 L3 |& _1 v3 @
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)- [2 p+ k% V3 o" e1 m/ {
Holmes: I just picked it up.
- o, m3 U2 y. N' ]! [6 KWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)7 e, f$ u: J- G& i; C& G: K+ H
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
: [+ u/ O0 `+ c: }& F  QWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
8 r2 s, G/ S) B. }; p7 XHolmes: You did.8 v( f/ ^+ K. T
(注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
: a/ F) M8 p3 b0 \1 UHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。WatsonHolmes的房门。
7 R! _# D) J) _! C! K: p! R7 y9 ?Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
7 @  N7 t5 B% \3 F) KHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。$ _- J" Q# \7 q! U
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词:very mature。)
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拳击场那段(Holmes启动Combo Strike之前)的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。9 e! T+ v4 n/ u' _
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; _0 Q* b+ m! k/ }( j+ L/ _- SWatsonHolmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。5 v1 n+ b, w+ m7 l' U  d% ?9 r
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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4 K! r. i6 V" g* F2 l* ^Holmes去见Blackwood时,Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。! L% `' p" L7 H
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终boss)的委托来见Holmes5 k. S' S; _8 q# D- l9 m9 u3 m
Irene掏信,Holmes惊慌失措)
! b: `; x; S* [3 k2 r2 S% g/ ~3 UIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?# J- i$ x2 S: F0 d. K) k
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。)( Q' y- f) C  P, V9 Z* n9 D
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.7 `' B$ Z% U. }8 M; j' O
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Irene离开,Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕IreneHolmes,建议Holmes远离麻烦(leave the case alone)。
  |9 J" j- W/ g: KHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。)
, Z/ u; L- e9 ^# `8 jWatson: Get that out of my face.
; R# f/ r6 `. Y& F) @Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
3 X* R9 W& o6 p% a  ~Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.* o! s. P: e# ?5 Q2 E! y( C
路人警官Clarky上场。
9 S/ N/ g  Q( d, ^Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.% M- ?% @: q9 N/ J1 a) Z
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)% d  o5 N4 u2 _3 i! X
得知Blackwood死而复活后,Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。- N0 ]5 v: Y9 i
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?% i. s$ c8 w2 d
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not." [' d, y4 j& H2 k" Z
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3 i6 R+ U7 E5 b9 }8 |墓地勘查后,Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母,Holmes独自调查死者的住处。" V, o: a. `5 S2 L* Z) Y( D/ ]
Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。)3 U/ G/ f4 p+ A+ `' I
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely., I5 x7 B2 q" J; K
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)+ [1 b; ^2 B) b* ^) j: E# ]4 o
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河边屠宰场,Blackwood13地出场后。
2 ~3 T$ a6 M  w# d$ M2 ZHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
- [- f, S, g  F6 E1 K/ L! ^Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…* }% P: Z/ Z3 H. b: H' c- L
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)6 |: s# F" l- D$ J& q/ f: J8 ?
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了SherckIrene& Q) b+ h8 }+ s+ W% h# W
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
$ ]' Q2 T0 X+ F2 w后来解Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。8 x" [: I9 w! B) c
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)* ^, p3 E3 }) G2 |2 H
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
) }* [0 A5 b6 lLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
" V# ~0 `+ k" d- W话说Watson和未婚妻MaryHolmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
0 K8 ^: k0 H1 g7 N* M; AHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟WatsonBut it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示Watson放他下来。)Good afternoon, dear. (向Mary问好。)) C7 s; v2 n1 b1 K: X2 U
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
- t! o( D, D# H. YHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示Watson放他下来。)7 ?- q- Z+ |% Z' e+ V. u' H
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
8 M/ b* ]: W: r6 y$ N1 j2 v+ P6 ?% GWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)  Y( b, F$ n6 H6 c; i6 ?
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
7 r' G5 O4 b/ z8 HWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。)
" x3 V2 f( q' E" s, j5 PHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
, X9 A) D: H4 e  T; b1 JWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
# l9 I: a2 O- K" y: Q# WMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)* k- k5 Q! g5 i# U( T* l5 |6 `
WatsonHolmes放了下来。)
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# @8 x. H9 W) a- X总之,这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……

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