《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 . i. ]- w9 V5 D  T# u*********** & T" H2 g7 _5 r) t8 i4 x  ?1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） % I, p7 n& A( S" ZHolmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） ; b. w6 ]; B/ M: O, y8 pHolmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. ' t5 f% a) M, Q2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. 3. 1 T0 s3 K2 e: ^3 G6 n8 f, u晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 & j2 a. @: Z2 R. ~% b  @  |' \Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） # K8 z! R, M- }0 Z5 ~* `4． $ C% h8 e/ ?* O- C3 Q1 {: c/ d拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． # [1 x/ @  [# [5 sWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 2 b) t  U5 U: a7 hWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． + n( {) Z1 b) K2 aHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． . A( ~# D, R: `Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? ! t& p. }6 j( x- i% E7 t1 XHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） / k5 H" t5 ^" ^& B; SIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 2 @/ m6 |! a2 J9． 4 {0 H6 _3 J+ Z+ O4 @Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） ( O6 J4 }+ y/ @2 A9 T1 ]Watson: Get that out of my face. 8 v; n& T& [: b. c. E- DHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. % g( s! E: N$ t% I& h8 u2 S; uWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. + C: r8 ^. _& t3 K0 O6 C: I. z路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 ' A" s) W9 A% x# T+ f（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） 2 c5 }# K5 }& n' yHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 ) r! _% y: i# }Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 2 L3 R0 N6 ?4 f# \1 e) s2 g4 l死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 8 p5 U3 k. U4 |" {$ ~/ u; hHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 1 @6 r0 R/ e6 U- a9 l: a后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） ; U2 D" n) r* w% h+ }; r2 O: o4 K12． . L/ M* [% {! e# U# G! X& Y2 ]警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 3 E, F9 U. [1 q. e1 o4 I13. 0 T6 o: O0 M5 I& H+ T( O0 T* ~$ a接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 * z3 E' W, P2 `8 S; @话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） 5 c' t; T% ?* k" C% S9 F5 \Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） 8 i6 E/ B4 X& `Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） . y5 Y+ ^: G: Y1 wWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） 5 N2 J0 v& }" l- Q  S3 U1 ?; m+ AHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） 5 v  L# @. C5 hWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……