《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 6 N. c$ r$ N3 u& v, ?' W2 k$ l*********** , M% j  e3 i! q- z& c1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. & T& c8 `& ^* Q6 R5 w% uWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） . j1 ?/ I+ q+ V/ ], qHolmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. ( H' _# ?. _* \* n（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 6 o0 z% n* a/ z. @5 `2． 7 s" L  W+ Q5 S" q宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 2 l+ l1 g. s0 s. Z/ ]Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. 3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 6 {2 B8 N( ~- W, ^" W4 ZWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． , f' l8 C) y- f" iWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 " y4 g. [0 [( O( }Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） # M& m0 q# X% x+ k1 `: j) r6． 1 j' v1 t2 \" {# Z9 H7 DHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 9 q* q; ^# v, B7 e# R, s- I3 f8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） . s. E. f, o6 r" x, y% {Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? 3 ]( s0 E2 _  P+ e# l$ K8 PHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． 4 N+ x' k4 @2 a% T' HIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. * X; I0 L2 {$ fHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. 7 C$ p/ Z9 T) l0 b2 SWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 6 C# F# B8 i+ M2 A- w4 A- D! D路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. 5 [7 Q0 X: o/ c/ v* G% GHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.   `( l- t1 z8 a& H, y* h5 h10. 9 e0 I, B6 `2 }8 |墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 1 S$ B, v1 g0 D1 Z（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… # \  Q, N5 l! R+ d5 X8 ]" rWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 . `' n, c% n- XHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 9 u4 D; O% o* [+ ?7 [+ Z后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 7 A) D9 P( ]: T& G& F9 CHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 8 ?( _# ~" }) ^5 t4 e- A# d12． . b. Z) C) J* M警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 7 R( z: I( k2 ~, q- Z13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 * g+ R& B* o* hHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） & ^2 y# A, f: p7 q9 Z$ v4 tWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） 9 t; v3 b' H/ L4 `  J' MHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） $ K% j& z# X9 m: |; B" PHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）   c9 z  o& W1 u% XWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） 3 P* b9 |6 ]& `8 |& E2 ?Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） 3 F9 ^. l' n; o1 Y*********** 5 t2 @+ f2 R. m1 A8 c7 B总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……