 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 $ n4 e( p& V& N* _/ \2 ]8 J# Z1 f1 G
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 0 H/ f6 ?3 E Q8 S6 K% Q1 S
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
% B5 n' J7 S3 C5 c: u8 O* @Holmes: I just picked it up.
5 S) F* `! N3 [, M; yWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
* z$ q, E$ W; M. O' oHolmes: Knew I forgot something.2 X% q# k E/ N/ q
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
q- M4 V" {8 V3 y* y" VHolmes: You did.
. k. |, G/ J# i(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) 4 k0 y& t0 i+ v; u* _" [
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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2 _( d! O! e2 [宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 7 w3 ]1 I, F0 ?3 t, |
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
" z* h# ~3 w2 o9 q9 kHolmes: Granted.
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( }6 U l. k0 x+ Y8 k) ~5 b晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 ; O, v; s ~8 Q# Y$ F" X* @
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 4 x$ |! k8 X( z ?
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: P* f p9 w a6 @# B# [2 |, H! p" c拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 / g% h. G. Z. G- ~6 s0 |
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
$ J$ A4 Z0 G% J+ eWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 2 _; ?( c- \& v! ~
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4 M ^1 {# G; G; G9 O- yHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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7 ^8 E5 i& ]) d' x, O; uBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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m3 h; z- y7 p" |% E; f$ ZIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
4 N8 `: k1 ?6 Z M& z( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) - [% ^ s2 u8 y
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?8 \# L3 G( Q; Z
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) ; b# q: v2 {" C- [
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.( Y* D- i9 R; C/ A O
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 # Z9 K D; ^" q# P+ E
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
$ l# f# }9 F# Y) a0 EWatson: Get that out of my face.: p! O# k m% l) f
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.8 x9 C: ~' ?5 K9 o8 p4 `. l; T
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.6 U; c! D3 k9 ^$ @% `6 S; x
路人警官 Clarky上场。 8 a/ U+ X, s# A! G
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
; i _% k7 Q( H9 rHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
& g* r9 F H' p/ {$ T得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
) D6 f1 L e- Q `! R0 R) K X: KWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?: i' l- f' U: ?& k* g; L
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 + D8 J; E! u, R4 J' E$ B U" ?7 R
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
/ n) L/ R% c% f- P: o" \$ X) {Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
6 [; U4 P7 z2 FWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) ; L' u4 x; y5 }% }8 w4 ^. @
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# F8 Q( ?) p5 a河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
$ H e) i( X3 O: E, i" aHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
3 o( K4 O8 _- KBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…4 ~7 ]( u7 c) D8 K
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) ( B e' m8 U' r4 D
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 8 \# E% S- l g1 k! `
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) / @* U: n% K% f! J/ k
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 ! E. n3 s0 Z; `. G- _/ i
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) ! Y( C8 N0 F( u9 f8 z
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
1 Q3 P: w5 @- U& J* m: ^) H" VLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
, Z7 U; W- ?7 j% k4 C+ n/ k话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 3 Q5 g( |' [9 W: l0 A% c2 R
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
1 o. ?! e2 M s0 [1 f7 cWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
& j/ N" H( B- X* p* M0 X! {Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 8 _, B; F# s2 [1 l' M% M
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
$ A0 S/ Q* j' n7 rWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
( E" C6 B8 l) F" Z7 `" E; ]- y: qHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
7 _$ f+ D" a" @. l2 [( J1 ]Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
5 K6 \. K1 U, c1 bHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
1 s% _% [2 r9 X; H* V; |Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) ( K1 v* H" W+ @! @5 ^3 T
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) # s$ P! |# M8 M3 o+ G
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) ' }" d E: |/ }: T4 V( Z W, z
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7 c9 a t: [9 H( n3 [9 {总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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