 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 $ H5 z2 D! Y& c) O
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x4 X+ K/ D+ k' p影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 7 D; H7 n8 l4 Z6 z# n* A$ F! N
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
) H( \( K9 e- g# D( I; d. RHolmes: I just picked it up.
0 P1 m4 Q; k }( Z, d, D: hWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) 6 T- f% o; o/ H" ^* D
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
: `2 e) A9 ]% @/ Q6 T1 m3 @) C; ]Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
. s* |. u! C) W& mHolmes: You did.
1 }" _& a5 j: Q/ f9 s" S(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
* z) F; n9 R- P! C$ X+ IHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.+ P. h3 e: c% l( y
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# [0 q' ^$ @" {$ z6 A宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 ( F6 B: X' U$ Q" Z, t# G" H
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.% A9 f) L! ~& W4 i& \9 _2 `/ L
Holmes: Granted.. G% q7 |2 o' B; L V8 T9 `6 u
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 ' ]" n4 m. f6 ^4 r" D* L1 c/ {
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 " t' h$ h8 ?; Y" y
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
8 \& |0 R# L7 aWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 3 `5 r, P6 @& A, ~; E
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 - m Q# w! |# M& A i2 X& |
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
# c# d+ Y# x0 B- t) wIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?; x2 X9 w" y/ C) P. |7 f
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
' M5 U' A1 S6 CIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.: d# U1 P, e6 ^5 i$ ` F, g# b
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
* p% o. V( p( w- u/ O2 V$ a1 }1 SHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
5 E3 Z/ y' ~# T/ kWatson: Get that out of my face.
M. Q7 Q1 c& n1 WHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
5 \) d8 j. O# @# \Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.9 E! z1 d% j& V+ `- h
路人警官 Clarky上场。
0 r; Q+ @% B; v3 ], ^Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
+ ]$ E; G% i1 g8 q: t0 B) bHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) + p; E; d( K' Z+ p
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
- O7 _2 L1 n- T+ o/ @1 X8 \Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
) E" D+ {8 Q7 B4 ~$ uHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.3 T. n Q. u X/ A; o1 v
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" H/ G; U- c' |, c$ S墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 / i- m1 d j8 Z, Y
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
, @% U0 P# f. S" u; oHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
' {+ U; z. X; b: \2 r8 \5 g JWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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. x; G/ Q$ q) m0 s, V/ e河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
; \; `9 [9 _+ w# L8 I% Y+ i/ ?: j2 Q( SHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
3 \! A- q F5 s% R3 q; x! PBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
+ M! N- R( I" h5 G3 S r. K* K; S. ~Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
' O6 Z" E) L7 X死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 , X# U/ u6 q1 Y3 e! r1 o0 k
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
, {# K; S* x+ h6 {) e6 h9 N3 s9 O后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 ! Z4 o- V, Y {* \9 f
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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, i" c/ {0 A+ {9 \0 c警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
) L- t" m0 @" ?9 v0 D( ]% Q. ?Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.5 P7 M( J: o! b1 Z: k* C% j
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 % P q5 m; _3 W$ P
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
9 w" A$ G( @$ `! C* d: x6 q6 u$ G( kHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) " s o. y. T3 s6 }: J8 B8 z$ ~& D
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) : |" D2 P. L8 A9 s
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
8 O0 t( p) p ~. F7 a, ?Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
) w0 ]0 r5 @ U) e tWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) & o, @. C$ Y; y6 Q" P9 O
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 9 C2 l) Y- ^( ?+ ?% z* m6 M2 B: \
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
! S7 f* }& `8 `$ {0 L; s8 @Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) 7 L. J; z9 ?4 K
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
& Y( h+ A w8 dMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) : A9 o' c+ B" i( Q ]
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) , ~. w/ O+ ~; s; a) ~/ _% F0 r
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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