 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 $ q( C3 K, {: ]. S) t' h
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- w T. n- N1 E影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 $ T$ F9 z! v- g5 }
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
, M1 v7 \; ~; Y! n! Z' yHolmes: I just picked it up.* M# Z# a( Q2 M" g
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) % D9 Q# L% S) _" C8 A. E2 Y
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.& Y2 m. y' f q
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) . O$ K. U- `: R8 G
Holmes: You did.
2 g- P+ {- T9 q. n(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) + o" }0 B& M* h" [0 s# V6 [: _: R
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 + |, G" j& E, ^
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
3 h, S2 U. G, U- ^" UHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
3 i' B5 `% ]: Q( h* pWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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8 r0 E- G- C z7 e# L, A拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
0 ]% k( G v6 ^, G& m4 PWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 : c- V: s# t* v* ?# E/ K
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, ?! M% z2 f, }6 I; cBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 5 D" I# k$ A4 e) ?/ R
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 ; x H" n; K. Y5 z# m
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 4 d% N2 G7 r. u- `8 E
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?6 O% |$ z. N; j4 m/ m
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
5 ^! }6 f6 K ^. k' q9 M7 @( \8 oIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 & l: F" d4 ]# }# @. c
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) . @( b' C! l" g% w; U
Watson: Get that out of my face./ [0 u" }& y7 j$ Q4 B n# B
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
" T5 |! a7 T' m; i6 S3 h2 f/ sWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
8 X2 ?( U. E6 D5 O* S8 [+ O路人警官 Clarky上场。
' `) f% ] \; G& Y; t6 W, \: i; GClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
) F; }$ N# T# k: b% |' V" THolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
# j+ }1 p1 E9 m2 Q- L( q; Z得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
0 l% t: ^3 u) {, p) lWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
/ `; U) x" W. p6 ?+ S U0 L2 [, {; iHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.1 T. \* n- k! M* \2 o& j. {+ k
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& B1 }6 P2 `) Q) J3 Y( b' v墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 * t( u" W4 A- {7 k, }
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 1 V6 N# `8 n8 y- [$ E! G
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.) X) D' D. E! l# F) F3 F' u" e
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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0 j7 l8 I* G6 T& K) G( Q河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
2 L! l, f; o }; O" JHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 4 ~: P. G- `; m+ `+ q' t+ R. e5 E
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
/ X0 C% L6 c# B2 I5 VWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 0 b) ^) [' E0 c g
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
V/ ?% _* W ^0 P2 iHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
9 E2 k! _0 P9 m% q5 @后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
& [6 {* w2 j1 J8 M( Q& GHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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: r0 t8 H$ T8 I/ ?' l5 u警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 2 f0 Y6 @1 }' F Z* a7 [
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
. j" Q: x' C9 \, }1 W2 v话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
7 z! W4 _4 Y9 j9 W/ NHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
& {3 Q( j* a i% Z5 |. H( fWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) * |1 Z% i" _ ?* m$ U/ \
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 3 p+ A6 z( v& [! R, }
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?/ S2 V R2 P7 }2 ~+ y7 }
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
# O8 J- R- l. d0 j ~) KHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) % {$ m% m0 ], F1 N$ [
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) & `) j% M; K8 j; f) F7 `: q; Z
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
5 ^5 k7 V6 E' ^; Q* x9 s F$ g( d: oWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) / F# m. Q5 w; s, H
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
: L2 \# _8 G r2 U+ S( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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