 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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' H/ c8 Z R0 z影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
- b N* I3 J. g3 M: B- WWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
* X0 Y C$ x6 c2 |. s M3 SHolmes: I just picked it up.
; o. a' l! h2 E# h9 hWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) : ^# g) j* S+ \7 ^: w
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
# R% R) ^( D6 Y: v @; cWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) * F; T1 J+ @" W9 o% o; _7 j
Holmes: You did./ y) X. P! a" N% \
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
* }. |$ D' j1 U, Q, v! n7 j9 [Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.7 ^6 O) o, V% m. D8 o
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1 f! Z; ?, o' F宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 b& _* Y- j @: e/ [
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
2 ?! F/ b+ [) c5 e+ Y% jHolmes: Granted.2 E" ^" y+ y- J3 x2 p' [
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 ! d k2 O6 p; i
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 ( K) y3 I# x8 o2 X4 ^
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 . t D4 I$ L7 m- H& Z
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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; T5 \( Z( r7 t) m% q _6 B; PHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 4 d/ p, w: Z1 s* i0 T6 t
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# N1 X' M5 B/ }/ G9 @' U% @. ]: AIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 / }7 ~7 p9 J& Q7 Z1 J* X
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) ! W' V" _- I+ Y2 n
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
. ^* N# W W$ y; G# Y# rHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
: a* r; i& `9 l! Y: z g4 wIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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0 T# x6 ]) v* _* {* p" KIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 5 n% w$ |6 F9 ~1 N; o4 E3 z( e
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 1 n' U( ]2 _& _# L& H, a2 j$ ~' r9 q* F
Watson: Get that out of my face.
/ {- F( ]% f( w9 RHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
4 L \0 F9 b% ?- A& q' `1 aWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.' O/ } i' r& w( O) `- b6 Q
路人警官 Clarky上场。 % o; c! C# C! y& _& z1 @
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.. b3 w/ U7 r& G% h9 z4 d
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
; s9 K5 |8 @/ B# W" g5 z得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 " s- F: f3 R0 `1 G
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?6 x! a9 Z% W7 G6 [6 @7 y
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.6 K2 K8 H' {7 J' T0 V4 F* @/ _
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
1 J% m$ V9 S8 l1 a8 N7 k( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
% W4 t, l4 s- y- S" f# p% i6 ]7 g6 iHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
( `& v- `3 i( ~Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
M3 H' q: N7 I- @. {Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 9 w% w% y5 L1 M9 L5 B9 L
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…/ W; U$ c2 _3 R& H J; P* J
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) + g3 c' ^( z; B2 t4 t! O
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
- d& @& G7 @! _, H' j( EHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) 8 \! ~" `4 r( G' [' A
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
2 f8 i. R/ u8 a1 C& ?2 [Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 8 k5 a$ p% v3 w/ |. A% x
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7 O2 ^9 a1 r& S2 ]" S警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
) Q& e/ ^! v3 k" z( l1 ?Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
1 B5 Z$ X' e5 [) G% k话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
2 C+ y7 h3 ?& Y7 rHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
- W l. L ?1 X& w3 `* P5 B) zWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) & s! B+ F2 F: x$ d1 d
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) . ^" X, C; I3 P$ m$ p: F
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?# F9 c0 {( g3 [8 B6 T; @; [3 Z
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) & [7 ^( Q% i1 |' C. M/ E3 ]# {
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
( P$ |" \& ^, r$ |Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
% _# d/ ^! ?( G* a0 Q" gHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
" W, Y, A# n+ {2 f- }1 hWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
. X) }: f3 W% V6 R M+ E4 R% XMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
; l. I7 k; q. R4 C( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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% p$ q0 T# a! p$ w) t总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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