《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 ' Q3 |  s$ z1 ?' o*********** 1． ( S2 }5 y% |  W: a3 N8 Y影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 7 G# @: Y, i3 y) n, t- TWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） 4 l8 [2 b( v- q* ?, jHolmes: I just picked it up. " s7 }4 X- F& t) p6 I. TWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. 0 F1 p4 f  x- Q, ]. b3 [7 FWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. : v0 z6 W( q6 V% K+ o& J  M: Y（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） . Z9 F2 c  d' F, BHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. / A) d: J" O0 H! [4 L' ?2． ) `2 p( b5 S* |宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 9 q9 U' M6 |# k8 K' X" }Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. 3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． / K: `% x2 J& D/ n" Q# ^拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 + i1 i; q% T& _5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 8 V: F9 `. s. ]9 @# \" Z; v6． , W. u3 ?* H/ o) p' SHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 * H/ L5 i+ t1 S# Y4 ?+ Q8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 ; J0 A3 \: _: H6 G（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? : ^# M7 b2 e0 O$ ~8 jHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） - v$ S" F$ s5 ]8 H0 pIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． 0 @3 ?. ~3 S' O' A$ tIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 $ y+ \+ ]$ Q8 lHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? 0 P. [8 P+ A& ?# |. \" nHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. ( I! Y' f! u/ {& w/ z' l/ n10. 8 r- y4 h* i9 r% g5 J6 Q墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 2 Z- B( F, d  G（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） ; z7 D& W- o( O1 t# zHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 3 D7 v) p9 T2 A1 L* l/ P  q11． 7 A3 }  c4 `! g; S河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 ! y" H3 z: L# a& o5 c- eHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） . I. U% U6 r0 r3 x! p. i死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） . w4 r/ r' x. u+ B# Y3 t后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 $ T8 ^* B. M$ SHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） , ?1 T  u4 U0 h) S12． 4 I% `/ o2 J! D' M3 f& n' L' S1 d警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 1 ^: j2 U$ ~% V! XLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. ( g3 U* K  D6 j9 k4 H接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 ' Q( J- k! x9 v% p% x话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） , s0 R' D" I  |8 _$ u# w' |Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? % E0 r$ A3 A6 E1 t6 X2 |Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） . i* k% Y3 U3 c: ?- \9 KHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） 0 e2 r3 Y3 P+ g' G. O4 {Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） 5 C+ M! X9 N% \1 |' ~Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） 8 E' w1 E* d' i, xWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） 2 C) J% l& o4 z1 fMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） / ?& R* ^: T" \（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……