 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 1 E/ D( A8 x3 @, g9 N7 h; W
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) 0 Y7 S, @! Z# y7 C8 H+ {. w/ M
Holmes: I just picked it up.: R; e) M6 I3 s
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
?# }* D8 y' FHolmes: Knew I forgot something.5 F v2 `9 P9 w- H# B: j' |7 A
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) - Y+ D) B# G, r, v6 X( _
Holmes: You did.1 y6 z5 V5 w" |
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) " A3 i# M; Q! N: [! r% Y8 {9 ?
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.+ }3 n& q; Z, k) N9 q
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~; `- q; I% R" c宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
; r4 } `4 `9 `/ cWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
/ X2 p* q: [" I) v$ b7 ZHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
+ t& Q% y% S J* OWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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) H+ z7 n$ h0 _5 y拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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' b, z0 G8 D. o, I( gWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
# q; `( B- P4 Z4 TWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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A$ I. e3 |! uBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 9 ^/ ?7 N3 d% X% O0 }8 z
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7 c0 [: Z3 k8 v q' FIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 7 E! F9 Q3 x: J) J# a, O
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
7 Z, ~/ `! Z& ZIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?/ o9 }' u# R j( L+ I& E
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) ( w$ P# |! E1 O* W) H* o, Q
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.1 p$ t# k' t+ ^) j5 e
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5 l) O! L( F. Q7 o6 _Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 7 Z# [3 @9 n" s+ P( b
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
& t# T: I: c0 E2 ?) s0 KWatson: Get that out of my face.* M% V0 S4 a( |
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
& T( w9 j/ g# o; U' cWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
4 _/ G) P8 @$ Z$ [3 y, q4 T. e路人警官 Clarky上场。
9 h/ i) _/ n" M* R$ z+ `Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.! t* J0 f' E/ C4 G: i/ \
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) : J8 a/ k+ N! Y5 H. \
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 , {+ g) X8 l% R: d
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?' N" C, |8 L& J9 {
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.+ p. \, t& v9 {
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 / l8 V/ C; F5 y8 _ ?
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
+ r g! E& L* S# e; rHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.5 t/ r2 h/ G6 C$ M: j/ q
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) 9 d& C: e$ ^& }$ q
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 # \9 _7 T. U( M6 U8 i
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
! L) Z% `2 P0 g& Q. nBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
8 V# A1 }" M, e/ ZWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) ( H! z9 K: Z' l, g3 _: T8 Q3 n
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 ; n0 H; M# b4 V% o. v
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
: F* B% E# M8 v8 ?1 _5 X$ u后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
( h/ i0 w% s3 \4 G( T! ]Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 t8 U9 m5 F8 t2 B4 Z T2 B
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
. _. N( O' P7 i/ K6 `2 }' y- E% s话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
0 P" U' Q F/ A$ X1 e5 r/ pHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
8 O- h9 u. h, e- C9 QWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 3 n) [- |0 Q7 y/ f. y1 r; P. L
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
% u. `& f# y5 N9 WMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?0 m4 {1 v; I4 M+ @" ^* X% h
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
. p0 ]/ E3 G% }Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) / M: s8 Y* T5 c, z
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) + I' ~% k$ C5 r$ V" c
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
; ?& Y/ P& y; wWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) ! u. \* K9 r% q- B+ q
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
1 Q/ |$ X5 U# }0 X( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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5 @) H z1 U! m总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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