《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** - v- E3 M8 ]% S# \1 J: \7 ^1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 8 }4 P/ r% R1 l1 A5 IWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） % q1 a3 E2 J/ w+ cHolmes: I just picked it up. ' D1 F2 n  `: {+ s* |4 GWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. ! ]% q- |, j# I, kWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） $ |- i) }9 o* `' M" R8 \Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2 y7 G3 j; Z! ?2 H2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 * m! ]" m+ f6 I* g3 b) A; GWatson: Permission to enter the armory. ' R8 a7 r: A; AHolmes: Granted. 3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） : }& F, p  g: Y/ D4 E& Y) X0 _/ |4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 - I5 V& |, f# w' b" [5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） , Z! C7 a6 b$ B5 }& g/ A6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． 6 @9 b+ K" T. B& v& ~. i6 k3 CIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） 4 c% O5 v) e, o9 @1 |Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． 3 y& p1 P1 |1 G. B% ]* rIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 3 n- H2 u. V( D/ l. MHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） % `6 M3 q0 c4 ~" E7 [& E1 V. X9 d! ZWatson: Get that out of my face. ( B$ i* Y! H# z/ j6 U* R+ E* WHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 4 q% t) Y, g5 U2 E5 R' H: t路人警官Clarky上场。 ; O( v  u' f) h, U" D+ M/ hClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. 7 d( t! L& G* V  n% P8 c) ~/ sHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） " n, G; Y( b% @, V: e+ z5 ^1 y得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? 3 o2 X- D6 |3 k: I  ~Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 9 ]' X2 G$ I# w8 \墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） 8 l- G# O, g: g4 w9 U! dHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. : H6 S5 X( K# H) C  O2 U( S# j9 f$ z$ \Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） , P5 X5 `0 p4 I! Q7 j11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） + C$ R4 {8 @! _" k" V1 jBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… " t! l# }+ Z5 u  e5 [& s3 xWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 6 `: G) H% q' c5 u8 R8 n5 _后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 - e. G- j( |0 w5 JHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． : r" ]0 V2 V1 p0 k9 X3 N" z) O警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 7 I; K/ O# {1 d# h' QLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. . G1 j4 y4 U- ^& a) i6 o( ^4 r13. 5 o/ M* @  g0 Q* d4 ]接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） 0 @9 }3 p+ C* p4 ~2 r/ |( lHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） 0 Z) h* n3 y! F$ t! Z9 cMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） 0 C& Y# E. R* G) u9 e3 @8 c1 V- G" CHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） 1 `3 s7 ~) J  i" N* _（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） 3 L& m4 p6 |5 H*********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……