《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 2 X# A; n5 k# C1 m*********** 1． 1 @, w$ s+ V" d; I影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 $ T5 I. t1 ]6 c7 I* g& _. `/ h- }% [Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） 8 z" M/ O, m: T% e$ m9 J+ E9 y" |Holmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. 7 O% g1 }6 `( G, F! y（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． 9 K% t& p' r. L# H: ?宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 & R5 d" f8 E$ K5 O# ]; R' rWatson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. & y2 F3 k2 u: [4 k3. % B% x6 ~4 J8 x晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 * L. {: N% b* J, ]; b! aWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） $ _+ E9 e2 ^( N4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 * |7 I0 N2 [: a2 m! b: _/ E; X5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。   l, B* X, y+ H5 I# I7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 % E1 Q2 ^) |, T* x8． 4 T0 k! j. |, g+ F  ]2 bIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 ! W. c" v' \4 f0 i- q（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） % L  z/ x. z- i& y/ eIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 / i- L% f$ d! M4 ~Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） : {& ~; Q( m" m0 h  QWatson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 7 W8 E& o  o4 C$ |Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. : g7 I/ ?* O- M. v' Q# X) N6 ]% ?, hHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） . m- s$ w. S1 h得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? 5 ?% v+ I: n0 qHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. . ?. d* |  x) G7 X  t10. & x; H0 e0 Q+ w$ e1 Q* ~$ c墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） , w9 T- C' Z7 m* M& \1 LHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. . v+ Y* P1 _0 i) I# {" R6 q7 L# ^Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） * d" x- G4 R0 K, }) P! H' a11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） ! `: X  Q1 z( n" P% ABlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 . U( m: Z2 n6 FHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 , L6 k% e9 R: q; Y* j' ~Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. & z3 A! v% F9 f; P13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） ! e5 Y3 Q: R. @Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） ! u+ l# d+ c3 a% ?. m# R6 H% JHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） % Y. x3 ~, P! o9 X# w/ sMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） % A' J  ~1 ~' F$ mHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） ! _$ O; a3 S( w( ?. lWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） . \8 M$ S5 P+ \" ~Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** $ Q% \6 F/ @, Z: O+ U+ d  p& L总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……