《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** 3 J4 u+ y1 s( T% `: d* r. h( a) X" h1． 4 X& A0 C% x8 F1 i2 s影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 2 F1 a) R2 a; F) FWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） 5 M) ]% v( z; Q' M+ }# ~Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） : \" K- O" h4 y/ Z  v+ P! y0 WHolmes: Knew I forgot something. + R: J6 C: u7 B1 IWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） 7 x- r  A) u. Y; B) W' m1 JHolmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． 4 d; W2 G4 w$ T+ B( ~1 I9 O宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. # B, M5 k+ t& m- Q3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． : X; l" {" z6 M" R  K- c  T9 K! w5 x拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． + ~: c9 v$ R8 O; P9 MWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） : y. @+ {0 N( Q7 y0 G" b' I6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． 6 n; a9 B& R5 Z* m' R# n  MBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． & p+ N4 {0 L- i3 a0 ^Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 9 U$ v4 }, M0 i（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） 0 a2 H3 {% V8 z" vIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? ' u7 D" v0 V% I2 xHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 8 v4 d# {/ z: ?9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 , d6 j  ?7 ?2 Q6 j+ _, XHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. $ j: a( @5 N3 O# E+ u( g2 wWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. - Z1 t' Y3 }1 p7 p, F8 A) S- f. O* c路人警官Clarky上场。 % g3 d% n3 G0 S8 X% o- }+ d, q  HClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. & B9 t$ u, j) z8 vHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） * P9 ~- |5 S1 _  l, hHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） ; v8 M! `; g. }2 _Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… ' T* o9 m& Z& V5 T- Z& t: zWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） / `# D7 w& e' c* G3 s  E. T/ j0 U3 ^死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 : r. s: |& P* g9 wHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 / N+ o+ U3 b7 HHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） . W" w: y" b3 T12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 + N7 i! P: {0 f/ x: ]; aLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. . W& q1 c; V/ T1 p13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 # H* D( ?& I2 i话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） $ g7 u: G+ _" Z: N' FHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? 0 R/ y; L  y' ~1 W0 @, zWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） 3 ^% x1 e; I; J+ Z3 i) EHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） / T6 W8 g& c' Q. O; ~" {5 xWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）   m+ R! [3 _4 KHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……