《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** 1． 5 L5 N8 {: a: U- s( l' I影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） ' B3 q9 l4 w) i( jHolmes: You did. 3 F  _, a% N+ C6 Z1 F（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） 5 f9 z. B5 R* k( HHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. $ {2 J( z5 g; @0 Z3 Y5 k$ [: _2 N3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． - Y4 ]. E6 q6 V拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． ; k. C! y) G, {. u2 i. WWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 ' K2 m9 p3 ^! r9 dWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 : K) ~( h8 Q9 c* }8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） 7 U: {& L/ ?7 s6 o$ ?Watson: Get that out of my face. & K( w9 |4 _4 o; f2 aHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 7 |+ s6 M; u- U( j! BClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. 2 A$ Z& U% G: D9 V9 f+ C- @7 THolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 3 g4 @% k1 k$ {) z, J' H% y3 N（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） 2 M/ _( l1 {* C, aHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 1 B8 b- d* U% m9 s11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 , D9 c4 U" K8 _1 wHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） ( w0 A: k( H3 u0 E6 X7 Q' z6 T1 u- d( ]Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… ( {* n, d3 P; T. q5 MWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） - R: i" V3 T9 @3 z5 w死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 - L' t/ q8 t' w7 n3 ^+ \Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 0 {+ H' s8 q# Q! g* tHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 2 x$ d. d- |+ K( o# G; h# e12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 4 B* q' |" v0 L( D& ULestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. $ `, g, O# L1 o2 r; v  r13. 9 \" F# z6 _/ ], p. V; }" L( j接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 9 N* c/ T4 A/ u& _' ~7 n1 v话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 ) Q+ l) W& l  W  ^# j4 FHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） ' @$ h/ G3 v  q5 g! {+ U6 bWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） ' e3 s  V6 n; I& b/ j, U; i- eHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? 1 r; f/ R8 _9 z" d" r- R. R" bWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） & V9 i( G/ W5 L: `! J5 sWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） 4 H( q3 G' c3 Z& r% `# ?3 x8 SHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） 7 \. ^; c) z, m0 Z9 g  F( T6 Y, X*********** % D/ \! d3 l7 {6 ~总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……