 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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+ w. E* M8 l& l影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
+ j. T+ _/ n& j9 i* K+ lWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
7 k. I' h3 N, V1 KHolmes: I just picked it up.4 t6 V* d) X! Y! X7 X2 m7 M' Y
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
( E6 @- Q; |: M2 k- B$ F, {! VHolmes: Knew I forgot something.' `4 d# M* O* P9 l" c ?# Z: ?; h
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) ! E S2 ~2 e( N9 u
Holmes: You did.
8 K; @# D: K" o9 m(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
" x5 Q: A1 D9 C4 p) \Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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' N5 |4 G- n. U' x6 M/ i宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 : [$ Q" ]/ z' K6 f
Watson: Permission to enter the armory." f4 m" L4 u8 o. I0 N, }9 b# L
Holmes: Granted.
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1 `: d- F! J* ?: {( g; j晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 + d, L; u, ^, W4 w# y+ ~' C
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) ' o+ t( z! X5 G$ C
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 : I+ q/ ?1 ]% ?. H5 Z3 Y4 ^
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+ G0 q. u9 d8 {: OWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
; c: T" ^: I8 b2 [6 Y5 C* ]Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 ) Y7 F4 g- L7 _5 n/ z% m
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% f8 c# m! V8 }3 JBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 . U* \' Q( ]$ R& D, r0 h( ]
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; a& p8 [, p; v& G6 _4 hIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
. J, Z0 P" c g' ^1 y j* f( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
: @1 L- l! ~0 D; A# g8 ^Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?5 V( X* i5 U8 C, F* V
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
2 Q# O* L4 E% B7 A. nIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.9 y3 T5 D- ]+ j: q
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( q$ D: E/ d, q z- R# Q* T) IIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
, P/ o& u$ j: s1 BHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
" l$ o* t3 h- Q0 y. q0 }Watson: Get that out of my face.
) J- c- f, V3 k* h3 JHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.1 i; C, Q: z$ N- n, W
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.9 X+ H6 F! k% n3 \
路人警官 Clarky上场。
, w3 M1 m/ p: X7 O0 Y8 R. F1 RClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.) P- Z' s' r! a" z
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) 0 f- y* O: l5 a9 T! d; q3 h4 I
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 8 I4 E2 I8 h2 R- x. f" \
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?* _ X$ n! _2 J1 j/ J1 T/ Q- c
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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4 w p3 a+ Z$ I% H墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 . l. \% q# l4 q, Z& W& }0 {
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
* t1 j! [/ E8 o! ~) [ _1 THolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.% `" X2 W: Y' r" n5 p8 ~( U
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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) H* z+ [. d" P7 _5 c2 S5 V河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 - \& T# L+ Q) |$ o4 z1 W+ e6 }
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
3 o% Y( ]5 ~% X1 ^, DBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…; Z6 t. b4 l, X) k% H# o
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
0 C! r/ G( n6 H/ [' J死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
# d4 Y9 y1 p! N5 ?' Y* i6 cHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
& @) y) i4 O5 ^: P后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 8 v) m) q! b/ [2 }5 h8 v
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) * V$ P! o$ Z; g8 t
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) {3 x: m0 @5 ?$ E1 ~$ x警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
7 n# k3 P; |6 c6 k/ Y I( b8 b3 f* ?Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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, G: r! j& a% _5 a接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
, H" Y2 u$ E) V) i+ w; t8 i9 Q. J/ G话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 * A- C- Q. L0 A0 G
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
$ k& X/ k4 }7 {3 TWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 6 L6 p/ x7 y( O+ H3 a
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) ) D. T* ~! H B4 w8 d
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?4 N& H. t- F/ b2 _, N1 }
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
$ M& [& ?4 t) }- P* p* z! [Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 2 j, ?6 t- u% u2 y
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 8 S( ~' `* o+ E2 r4 r* }
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) & \. @7 Q! H; L* Q
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) , D- U% W& j6 m2 C
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) M$ z; D! e0 t* |3 Y3 o3 z. a
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) / M; D" [7 Q' u) q4 N8 r7 o2 V
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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