《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 7 X* D7 ~! I7 S3 V***********   v2 Y7 Q( X8 |" C0 y1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 9 i8 s1 F1 E3 Y7 o8 S! a& G( rWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） ( X4 u' }% w" yHolmes: Knew I forgot something. 2 G2 {8 ?' A% L; fWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） ; O. i0 r% \0 W/ [5 WHolmes: You did. 9 w/ c% P7 r" C; w/ q（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. " O8 x/ I" J7 _) q$ M3. : k" y+ c: ]5 P5 J" [+ v/ @% H晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 ' \7 k' L& t5 S# c* HWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 * h, Y/ W3 r* C5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 * j! ?* h) i& h" H7 |Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． 1 y8 e  r6 }$ x- ^$ ?Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 , S6 s2 r) a/ p, g8． : q1 e" J8 t7 M. d2 f7 PIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 ' [9 G8 r% {8 z（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） ; v' q7 e6 t+ H! Q7 GIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? 1 {0 o' a4 {  r4 `$ }Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． 3 O1 [1 ?1 X1 d8 hIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 , ]4 k5 F/ ^% I; t* F- ]Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） 9 _- {& ~6 L% h  z' ?Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. - p$ ?- y% L8 R) QWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 5 W* h* A( S% \# j6 F路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） % d& f, X. v/ @) [. ~) p0 a得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 # y; m5 P; |% u8 DWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? 8 Q- C4 v- s- B3 ^7 M' \. F  V; ~- o% KHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） ' P( P/ F  I' S; w9 OHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. 6 I- o$ M( V4 N: [: QWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 0 _, U; J5 b) n; h6 \% J11． 5 ^$ S% X: p! M' f: n( P& \河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） " l0 U; E9 ?: s/ w  D  lBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… / E$ X8 T# \& J! PWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）   h& j  L: a, K+ F" C' T$ x: ?* \后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. ; Q+ |* l7 H! R接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） : l, J3 ?6 m( E" s3 m0 zMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? . i5 {- v9 Q, u8 ~" RWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） . s' k# t5 N; m; j, pHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） ' }( V7 L: _# m% N3 kWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） % z4 G& V. S! s- y7 c& C, ZHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） , Q- F, J1 R. h4 g9 \9 iWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） 7 F5 n+ X  s) }9 |/ oMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） 6 U! M; k7 e- p3 W$ m, P*********** 5 U7 n+ v* `% X4 ~; Y1 L. n总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……