 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 " d9 h& q3 y o+ U- M+ \8 x
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 ; {8 h; p& d0 p' Z& y
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
* P8 i) J0 o1 ?* xHolmes: I just picked it up.
4 W: c7 ~' o3 J+ dWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
* V n5 s8 E* a' i% |Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
- }4 c5 n- k8 ~ _! qWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) ( S2 t9 ~2 A- b' s/ c
Holmes: You did. Q! Y" y% }$ H4 ^$ U
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
. p# ?$ H0 t8 Q2 J7 u# T. QHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.% {' [4 c3 G; F- \ v- D% `
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- f- ]1 a* {7 n3 @3 |5 \宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 . i% j8 g) Q2 f- \# s
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.8 t) L; g. m! v* r) B9 @) u
Holmes: Granted.
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9 w5 G: `* A" v: j( L0 W晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 1 O; {% O+ m3 @- w
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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/ G8 U# D* {% J9 U! m9 k q* O% ]拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 % k( z* P+ w: }- N
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, {* e' i& A8 U# p9 ]+ @Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 / T% b8 D- L$ ^8 `8 K) _: S7 j
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) U3 y' m2 o& H$ [" o% c, N! E$ _' m
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6 d3 W; C% z3 A; B6 l9 z) {. KHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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- `& e- _7 q7 k8 X# Z1 t( y2 G4 o: YIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 2 ~& g0 m4 S! x
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
: a) F5 D* c8 n4 t; TIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
9 _( g. e) d! m: j' a5 fHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) + A+ S6 H$ m; i/ x
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.+ x; H4 y. N& v( @" P' R5 j' p
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
8 G( o4 \" |5 S/ G8 A9 @# z1 AHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) / G- l+ ]! I; H7 r, e/ v
Watson: Get that out of my face.1 }- m" p3 E4 e: a3 i* C
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.# L* Y7 a- D5 g. |0 c# o# E- S
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.' Z; Q; a+ j; v
路人警官 Clarky上场。 & i: @% \$ b4 c1 I- a# J/ [
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.1 k" [/ ?" J: f/ F2 ^
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) 2 X; N9 g5 v7 Z: |9 v( \# X$ }
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
1 b; y& B8 ? j9 f: K) UWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
! ~3 j3 H! b8 \6 W+ u. N7 cHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.5 |- V9 U2 y. w
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- P4 m* S7 G$ B/ B墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
6 L/ }2 H( H0 ]& X. T( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) ; `% z" h8 c9 g: _" E
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
2 ?) {" _% q- W6 JWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) ( }" h3 Z; n: G
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
- P; v4 d1 T2 F! f1 S5 n1 NHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
; c) X$ U ^& y) wBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
/ ^) \5 W( `$ cWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) # S% ^) x% Q6 @2 v8 H# G9 J
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 F( p5 _: V( l& h4 W ], p
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
% z1 } U; Z8 y后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
7 m* v. Y) [0 I3 e+ a% @ QHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 # B \0 K% G( Z' x# S( H& u: ?1 `
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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" C( D/ ?6 F3 d* n接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
; d4 s. Y$ j ]4 @9 A话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 / M& p, e6 A! `1 t# [& {7 H& U
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) C: G. V8 v' p% e% J0 }9 f
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 6 x" e! ^: x+ Q- Y: ?6 _
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
/ b5 y, a" a, G D9 f6 F: J- IMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?5 g" e: r- X/ D' Y: j6 R8 O& D0 F
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) + E8 Z# ~ B) J) C7 d: h
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) % G' p9 f. e9 y( U# |
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
" N9 k6 `# j: u; B. V# FHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
2 h! n# W% K* o6 s# U1 MWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) % ?* @3 } ~8 I2 p P+ R
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) 2 s) d1 I' S7 M: u. D; d
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) 6 X: o' d! G7 ?5 |
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. x* ]! b' [* T. e总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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