 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 ) s% E7 E& [* j3 W2 N6 [
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
; ~/ \/ w, h; E1 d$ ?Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
0 ?+ q9 w! h2 {Holmes: I just picked it up." n2 V3 [+ R: z4 }8 a* L6 S
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
, z4 k# i& n! ]- X5 w' XHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
3 k2 g: a7 g$ G5 `$ FWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) 0 B; A3 D+ C+ a5 }/ R0 o' o
Holmes: You did.
3 |* R/ M& M) p. T/ @6 w& F(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
# Q1 t: h/ e6 u- i' dHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. Z( f! _9 [9 ]5 w* ]/ N
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: G+ @3 j, O, d+ r+ Y4 U宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 1 D3 r0 \4 M# [" {3 s; p0 F
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.. f- U6 n% K2 S: A( W: A
Holmes: Granted." ^& t2 v6 Z$ I1 ?
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! o' D+ `9 K0 R) \ J晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 ! {3 ~1 a/ o+ c1 d9 p( m
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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) ~! `; W/ s+ e/ X' M2 m9 Z7 J% i拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 : w+ U/ ^& d% p+ Q* `
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1 ^& V! y% F4 q2 }Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
9 ]% d" ?" s: t9 B3 h U1 j6 rWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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1 B% r. Y) X4 \. CHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 7 b6 a+ M5 u, D; V7 g6 y, p c7 a
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2 R& C a- S% t2 }8 nBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 $ p: S/ k6 T! s0 N7 n n& j" y
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
" c! |3 J# g$ t6 g' q( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) ! @5 I- ?( l* n, ]+ T: Y
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?. G/ F* G2 @1 e: \& k
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
0 _$ K, n2 Z4 n4 i7 EIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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/ \, z$ x1 J4 K uIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 + o/ a+ P' [3 T% p
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) . ?) ]' k( w' z2 g& F
Watson: Get that out of my face.* R# ~* i8 f( z' N w
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.6 j* v' m% [' w
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.! Z) \& c3 l7 W2 g4 {0 _# `3 S) a
路人警官 Clarky上场。
4 M, X7 i/ U% X9 BClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
- c" {* T+ c. [1 S2 c2 |Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
) ]0 [" i# o' D: o$ }6 e' ]得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 " `2 [4 ]( C( z
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
/ n; Y) G! [* \1 b$ wHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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8 |/ U d* Z! N( d墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 & p0 A* c( f0 \7 _3 D, P
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
, b, g' z7 {, Q; ~' ?7 _$ iHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.* X3 u9 }* L q5 c
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) 9 B0 f+ R4 n2 P. x6 Q
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9 U* ^' Y, W, c: P河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 & K$ D, ~4 |9 \/ T# t
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) / e5 ]4 \8 S6 o0 i# s x
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
( V, {* a- o) PWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
' ^0 w! M, d7 @: F4 G死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
* B9 t* B% |7 t3 v+ UHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
9 G A! v+ j0 x& o! G后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 1 c; h% X0 l! P! g1 l
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
- e# V, J) [; v2 g$ `Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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+ j7 y& T- n( g4 `1 `. |- P2 z1 W接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
{9 t3 ] f0 j1 G3 Y4 J: |: ^, D话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 $ F7 K- D/ d/ w/ K" V1 o
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) ! K" M8 e' ?' G7 f% Y
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
- c2 O8 \) O- c" D4 v& L/ uHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 1 I3 ^ L2 R" Z' {9 l
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
8 V. L; a$ o5 q) C. R: z; r, `Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
4 s- ~% k" g$ u" |. y/ nHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 9 e" o, V- S9 X
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
0 N- K) d x% g( z2 S' ]. QHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
. O" z* S! W4 T. g* lWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) $ C' m! q' w9 x# i2 k
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) 5 H2 N" [9 I: D2 R$ e, H
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) : |; h; [6 Y. s
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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