《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 " t2 C9 W& J4 x*********** & C2 {( B( S( t# c6 k1． . X& A: h2 {% k. N9 F4 g# C4 m影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 0 }* o; J) F' R8 ~; j( h  gWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. ' B5 ?- b- q! `/ N  HWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. $ S# J; u+ W9 Z1 G$ C6 u3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 9 }' O) _( o: s: v+ l$ X2 o! w8 b# m0 u# ~2 l4． ) U$ X( [+ y0 r; N6 q: k5 ?5 W- ~拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． . Q1 q2 z, b  ?( \/ A# RWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 3 m0 h) w4 ?5 w& b# l& e+ rWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． 0 [8 a' O9 v7 BBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 : H: U  p7 S/ y& q, k8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 $ B$ I( c8 Y  Y% @5 \（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） ; [- i2 ~5 h9 o' X. V1 M& S# d* WIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 ' X9 _' `( p3 }3 PHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） ( \$ m2 m/ `5 Z: K: hWatson: Get that out of my face. ! I# Y! f$ J2 m& {! `Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. - m  k* l4 S' m4 D) CWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. 4 [1 a: E5 S  R8 w# L% x/ N# g5 gHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 2 o+ f1 @# p; f% m4 p0 q9 EWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. $ }. C: {) {! i: {墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. 1 P; ?& g% m$ W% m' ?6 Q* e( N0 GWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 3 s7 ~3 T' J) D) ]11．   K; T, b/ y+ i4 T: Z' r1 N" f河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） % i# A5 B7 G* qBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… / m! `$ l' T1 ]8 O) p, ]6 U( SWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） # m3 M! I6 N& i( U' R. F死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） , }- X# r6 `% ?' F/ S12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. # c( D9 u: f, I* l0 g; Q( K接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 9 t, l- m2 L, x话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） 5 X' F4 @" o3 i( {: BWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） & s  C  D( ~2 Q6 p, _5 GMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） 9 b# m8 ]+ b0 XHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） " g* C& [( x2 l3 LWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） 2 O+ f4 [! x% n8 g4 u# dHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） . J* A6 f9 I7 [& e2 J- V: B* T% h（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） ( G  \/ ]+ Q6 X. j) G*********** " `& r* M8 I+ c3 L总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……