 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 ' t R: Q+ l( k/ G) i) i6 G& Y& i) w
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
2 O: S5 G7 N( x* y" eWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
$ _# j: G" }. \6 QHolmes: I just picked it up.2 B& L. x* Y+ @" k; J: D
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
+ q( ~/ M0 `" G8 S. g7 n% EHolmes: Knew I forgot something.) T8 A( p+ J U6 I. {& X: k2 H
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) , C% l+ ]2 M: ~
Holmes: You did.
4 N7 U7 x; f2 T(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
0 D, l; x+ f$ ` k- hHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.$ I7 m, E, }3 V+ O
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
' E* \" o" m& ZWatson: Permission to enter the armory., B( m T/ g; F
Holmes: Granted.6 U1 I$ v6 q) V7 t8 S0 Y
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
/ v; S: t- T3 F9 [! WWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) # }1 O5 F% J V$ D" v- X! h
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3 q& A% _* R; T5 i拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 ' e, W t" w4 E- s* T3 v
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- Q7 ^( U+ x9 h" d" ~* {4 rWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
3 ^. j& o3 r6 b9 e, W1 ^4 FWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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4 B# O0 V: S: \- C& L' `% oBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
: P6 d Y6 F; M* ~2 U$ q0 o( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
, Z7 @9 z8 R& yIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?# b$ u, M' ]4 [* z, ^: i
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) & h) J& f! f% w `
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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0 `' O# N9 N l6 C4 p& sIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
3 A- N3 W5 _0 i: HHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
. G) E! n' n6 y( vWatson: Get that out of my face.. A) O' P ]( r7 Q. C
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
& d" C/ I' s9 B5 `; {! N1 rWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face./ v5 g; [5 m* @+ b
路人警官 Clarky上场。
# m: l' |& l: n# c6 f6 J) uClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
" }" p9 t: e" ^- D ~Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) 5 ~- [6 U8 V5 {% ?* q' o2 \
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 $ x. q3 u: v: Q) `0 ~/ f, k* j
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
, Z5 M# }3 V" L9 N$ XHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.5 g+ T, t0 |# }3 _6 }' H
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5 f2 R: l8 Q h2 w A墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
9 m7 A* T- \9 v( D( s( s: H X( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
1 M6 o3 w9 d) V( L& y5 u2 C/ ]Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
7 R* F$ }6 @/ }+ ]Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) * S1 K1 }' g0 @3 S
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0 I3 J+ G: a+ O. [河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 " \ L$ I+ t% Z6 e% F
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 1 s5 N( O) X% R
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
3 ]* N6 C- t7 x ~/ C1 TWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
, b6 x k. n f死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 4 L% L- c7 e& z: _) P# p
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) ! o# F$ t# a) b9 x% U6 Y
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 7 |7 `' b# V+ ^) {, c4 i% o* ]
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
7 R8 i. O7 b1 SLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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( u% _ }! V! M$ _7 P( p接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
+ b' H0 K, D. J5 o; K- w3 E话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 " ^0 p& c( T4 t4 o
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
3 O, G3 b! K% l) CWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 3 s ^" x# ]3 R( g6 e" a0 m* q: L
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) & N- ]5 {+ ^ q' e, p. Q; m e& K
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
) u7 t4 L; I4 M5 r' S/ L0 ?* EWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) : @& }, j) u; K7 V. g7 S
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
. X5 y1 `3 A: H9 ]Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
# N% ]" S( h& E/ {6 ^( `0 ^2 tHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) K; p) b8 L8 \. @2 [% e- N
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) 6 G/ j3 d7 ~) |( x; z4 p, `3 j6 C- h
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
4 Y. Q2 ~. X& n9 S* Z, D, c( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) 1 H+ T) X- m& L/ c" Z' B
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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