《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** # w+ h6 Q0 F3 z; @1． & ]4 x# n0 C: L8 [# W( ^影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. 3 r# q! r6 G. C! z* Z( s5 D* MWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） 5 G. \  K+ w* q" B( L( GHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. 3. " m( `' o, l: j1 B! l! R# X晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． % U& O- q' `. `" s6 ]; w拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 + L" n5 z% R2 P! H  C5． , t! K8 V$ U0 o! pWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． . W" Q) a) L( P  d, j/ ZHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． 2 n* S0 U) Y* }% y  g/ J+ i" A/ ^Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 6 [/ x( W: |# p* ~% E! M5 }9． ; D1 \9 }0 C/ N" [* A, F/ B% o  CIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. 5 q/ i8 [& c. r/ I6 A, wHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. + r; T+ D, C6 E, X1 P8 t% r3 ]Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 - t" D; b3 I- g5 S% E' oClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. 8 D9 E: h: j+ f/ }5 ^9 mHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 0 U! q; k' Q" B, J  kWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. " v5 d( J3 X1 t" l) V) `墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） 4 @" g% N% C7 ZHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. 4 X/ S, Q0 _8 e5 y* M* c, EWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） + X" Z8 S5 t, u$ |3 T/ C. S5 X11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。   _& z$ B' O0 e. i# Q) N  y  Q9 c- n- j* pHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） / f9 s- w9 C) p9 Y* hBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） ! r6 d1 h1 q  R4 F* u死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 + y1 y. ?3 Y8 R' }+ iHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． 8 J# q+ x& W& E- w警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 0 k$ d. H4 ^* v, L$ H13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 0 \' L9 [  r! N话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 , ~, G2 Z' f! l& VHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） ( ~3 N; A2 X  p1 C5 Y' A. k. a# f5 pHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? ) a2 d6 {2 g( T( F9 S) BWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） ; K& x6 Z5 T+ \. G$ @% yHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） + z) C# ?4 _0 b, I- K8 V- v9 `2 cWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） 8 i8 g- Q! T/ B9 s+ s7 ^+ T- LHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） ) R, q+ f2 U# ]5 J' P  W& C% v# `*********** 4 c# \, m4 L9 ^  g9 ^总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……