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- 1970-1-1
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| | | | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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" y3 e; A5 f/ D0 Y, h影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
% @" k0 z$ A: ]4 [8 pWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
4 C9 Y2 v, T, R2 J; t' e; l/ A- g% [# MHolmes: I just picked it up., w n- i) b, r7 i5 E9 I
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
5 o; _0 r) l& u& u0 FHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
# g5 L7 ^8 ^0 HWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
r: B/ a: q% FHolmes: You did.
5 x$ W Y( C9 q. I! z(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) / [5 w* h& u, L# P/ `8 y
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.) A0 Q& ^9 _: n" ^; m6 J
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
) Z# `: E B- w x! GWatson: Permission to enter the armory., o9 h( Y* |) g* N. ]" @/ U* s
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
0 g2 y* L3 J bWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) % q- Q+ D, H9 @6 {( N# d3 `7 {
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 1 k4 N& Q ]( D+ u! T$ c8 i
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 + A9 |, m5 J3 @' M( v, E) G
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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% N8 p- h2 N9 }; K4 YHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 ; x4 X8 N" r# h; \
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* v) h. a: v$ ]5 F( a/ sBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 , M0 q9 ^+ R- x/ u* ~: C4 w7 l
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
9 ~! `' o" N2 q5 ^# ~( wIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
2 M, t8 _" H4 x5 f) |: |Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
% }, I; r& H1 L5 @: R6 X8 YIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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& z% F& ]4 Y' [: d! XIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
S! Y# W5 F! C& D/ t" iHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
/ [0 V4 ?+ H# Y: GWatson: Get that out of my face.
) W l5 a" W% I# W6 jHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.8 c! b! X& ]! c/ Z6 z) d
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.5 G) H2 m% M3 a; ]
路人警官 Clarky上场。 1 h; u; F& Z, y( ?! K+ z: c$ a4 [
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. x9 \; u: W6 a: T# O$ S* N
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) % A U8 I* a C& M
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
& }9 A# j- t/ W# U% rWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
) F. M1 w4 z4 n/ \Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
- S& l; p+ @, k- d( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
. o" T( L7 k- ~* SHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
" g0 I4 a, ^4 `* F1 x. ^' |% vWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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' k* r6 Q9 h1 @# g河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
/ T# U0 W& ?7 h/ v) {3 ?% THolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
m; [/ d% F, A+ Y0 Y. L* ~Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…' {7 l/ w) O) Q0 _/ n0 d' {
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 1 F- F- ~7 B% j# ^: o# O
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 7 \ C! i3 K; _* c2 f0 m
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) % Y5 {: D9 A. S- v0 Q0 B0 o
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
) ]% ?0 i) `# p* c+ rHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
+ T2 y1 S& k& A7 F& O9 G ^% j d, MLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.% s" U1 _8 a% P
13.
% T. x- o! n! G* t8 `* Z L- y接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
7 F0 }! k2 }9 {* g- C话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
9 f% ^% P; `1 F3 u3 ?' jHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
9 X3 U y3 v1 xWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
9 c/ q+ v5 J1 S0 b5 `Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) ! p1 L2 D/ N+ ]( D8 o
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?0 l8 Y7 ]9 W8 v- W. Y1 }
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) ! ^! R4 G, ^' ?1 e
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
8 ]7 q1 i7 s3 P7 P6 {Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
( g; a" K- s: ^8 u! N7 qHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
! B& Q. G/ v" c \- pWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) : H# P& `, R1 \! A
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
4 I! O( G: {9 f0 s( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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