《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** ' ?' R: N# x5 {% D' x' v8 g1 z1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） , s' P8 R; l5 o8 }8 YHolmes: Knew I forgot something. . S& H/ p* ^& S& b& }' Z7 RWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. 3 g" }  ^: U$ q% _% |' g（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） # f2 ?. B1 _7 ~0 PHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. : g- f# L9 K5 ?# W/ nHolmes: Granted. & ]7 g& d3 h) O7 \( E/ w! s3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 & N, Q& ~5 t! f0 p+ E2 ^- IWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） $ ~- y0 z# r4 W! P7 |1 s1 L: g4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． $ [3 H4 y0 C/ {+ B/ FWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 . e0 O* ^) Z' Y* g3 @( t2 k4 `Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 2 G; e& h4 n4 S7 W* R5 I6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 ( `. m8 S9 @! R8 D  k8． 3 Z7 v! j2 }% D2 [1 tIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 : B* K9 L2 V& Q; }: w( o2 h（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） % s; a: }/ g) @7 `! kIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? 4 [2 `/ x9 P9 E/ JHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 2 `8 p! s8 r0 @* }# Q, @/ FHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. ) a' A/ ]3 Z& W9 L& J" |Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. % h1 X! L* D/ i8 T9 C路人警官Clarky上场。 , H. `. [+ H1 ]* z+ VClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）   Y5 i1 h0 J0 J( S9 j得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 4 F, o' U% U8 t1 k1 VWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? 0 b' I& |1 ?7 P% g0 FHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. , p, \/ X6 Y8 E' h9 n2 x10. . X% U' ?+ }% h* S4 C墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 5 b$ \. s( q. A. ]* r. \; w. g( P（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. . @3 T+ m: A+ MWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） ' {& X5 ^) X/ }3 bBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… / a' i7 f4 Y2 T6 G( l3 e6 \Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） ; P, \3 d, h/ F. \死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 9 [0 {( m- N3 M: `3 wHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 6 Z/ j5 D/ J' f& J% L  C后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 , i" s2 w6 v8 p5 l6 T5 d* J( IHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 6 d8 M  _2 M1 w3 ~Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. % ^( ]* S) ?* m$ n* U13. ) _' H2 p* }' B" o& Z接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 2 }! @1 e# ~& X2 P3 E- @+ E* D! W4 h话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 4 G+ [1 m7 S, d0 jHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） ) a# O2 @  Y0 y+ rMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） * {% B" b4 A: I2 UHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） ( T2 Z  a% s, B) m, F*********** 9 A% i, z  t! u, o. W: L3 V( [总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……