《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 & _2 \$ F  O* N5 Q' h  A2 }*********** 1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 2 N6 e0 }  v  ~Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. / N3 |* t& D- _% ^0 I% ~8 AWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. ' Q+ c: k" O" ~1 {$ x2． ; e0 g4 z3 ^' c* b宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 ' t, m: b+ X$ Y  S8 mWatson: Permission to enter the armory. ' w, s# e% `2 d% g4 T# ^Holmes: Granted. 3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 4 g+ T: ^- C* W) z5 m3 u% o4 n' P' IWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． 8 ?9 u4 N/ z: H拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． 8 q' Z/ j) c. S4 x* J3 {Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 7 Y+ Q. e4 A. b$ J+ @  W  v6． 9 Q1 _5 E- S  j& v# j( d3 g7 bHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． 1 R+ `! F: i4 e& ^7 LBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． ! T3 h8 E- I4 G! V9 |( I& _) vIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） , W$ s1 ?5 X% \( v1 ?; EIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? & d3 [4 [. o7 }5 k9 O5 N3 DHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） ( n6 o5 U; v" _8 e# B6 [Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. " s) U* l9 o# r# ^; e9． 8 e# y1 I6 }5 NIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. % P8 O, u2 _, d! p- |! p8 HWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. ( N& W2 Q* ~0 Z2 v- K# tHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 , p: }; q) [  g9 O/ FWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? 6 b+ j+ I! v5 HHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. % c4 `& A, b6 I2 P10. ( Z) e* s# j# L4 i墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） 1 h/ p; L$ }- tHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. 0 c. l8 W) n2 W; k  l$ SWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） / V: h, |5 n7 e* H11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） - U- l, }3 h6 X8 w/ UBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 % A% n1 K0 M3 t; r4 Q, j* ~6 jHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） : {* X7 a4 e, R$ |9 t2 P/ K12．   V' v, {  f5 j9 |5 p" P警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。   _. W0 o1 }. T% |' i7 b6 }话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 / |& V7 T( n0 ?! CHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） 9 s7 j: n" e- _2 Q6 zWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） 6 V- ?5 |  T/ N9 T* y! v( AHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） . l2 ^8 j) y% m, j0 S* oWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） ! H8 e4 R' _0 g' E% Q( F! pWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） & L: y0 }1 l3 F+ ?, Z) }, ~Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） # d( I2 |& |1 _5 S" u' V（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） 4 v/ b; {5 r  S# O9 ^; a$ O*********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……