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《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

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洋扬 发表于 2010-3-19 02:24:07 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是Holmes,不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay
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0 s5 U- A5 w/ ^) q& q2 f5 J影片开头,Holmes启动Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的ShrelockWatson一同制服了另一杂兵。
7 v% _3 {% R$ U; }Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)& \1 d* J8 B7 F, |5 i" t: O
Holmes: I just picked it up.  q7 z& J( W! q6 j5 ^( n
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
& U7 T* m/ u! P. p4 RHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
" H( k, }% q0 g) g3 h) qWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
1 r) j, _! b8 GHolmes: You did.
7 r  ~: I7 H7 a7 C( U/ e(注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
# l+ F* |$ C; s! i) fHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。WatsonHolmes的房门。
$ U: t/ S# y  v( C" r0 XWatson: Permission to enter the armory.5 j3 s2 c. X& d
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
3 j( B, J( e4 D/ i' qWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词:very mature。)
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6 h% y+ y$ d2 G* t拳击场那段(Holmes启动Combo Strike之前)的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。( ~" T$ Z1 }) h; _
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WatsonHolmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。) F& J* H8 Z# I6 j- d) y3 L
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见Blackwood时,Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。  \: K/ g3 T- N2 \4 ?) a
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。( r$ o$ R/ q6 V5 y' x/ [; t
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Irene(就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终boss)的委托来见Holmes6 I, V* V4 K" Z) K+ L5 Z+ A4 B
Irene掏信,Holmes惊慌失措)7 H! m0 n; `4 e$ s! @
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
9 R7 ~% u# H# SHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。)$ x& Q$ T4 _1 ]* o  p; o: z; Z
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开,Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕IreneHolmes,建议Holmes远离麻烦(leave the case alone)。1 |/ Y, l0 {* Y6 r
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。), C" \4 Q) `& `1 o
Watson: Get that out of my face.
  ], d' T- n5 ~& v* D' D3 GHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.6 r8 n- w9 i  L
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
, A) C+ z3 T7 s/ F% u7 v路人警官Clarky上场。9 z' |$ \: w) u- Z) {1 \, J- R
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
1 r  e; Z6 N+ b2 w5 g& n+ HHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
) b9 i1 E  X$ R- _9 Z+ i得知Blackwood死而复活后,Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
( D- ~; ~  U. t& x& ~, ~/ g) iWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?, a; U% P6 r3 \8 A
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.& q% \4 r0 I* C9 \
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墓地勘查后,Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母,Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
0 m2 y( j; O  V9 S. v) H$ TWatson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。)
: E4 P. X; Z$ H' f! eHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
( P0 ?( f& ?3 ~& L" t: |( D' o7 [Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)8 e! E) `: F9 n, Y
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4 j+ z; j4 b+ s3 G  p; S7 M, G河边屠宰场,Blackwood13地出场后。  r, m% u6 r" i  |8 O1 E
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
4 Y: D  B' q0 `7 x. m, S; d; ~Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…0 t. p6 Q, u4 m& y0 Q( D
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)6 J. d0 p5 y( M  l
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了SherckIrene+ v- A6 K& P7 B2 r9 s
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
$ y& d' ~- [- }6 `# j后来解Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。8 R2 y$ p; F  S( w" a8 Q$ p$ x
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。), O$ M. v: W% h0 b
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
2 n$ `" v! _; LLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.( B8 |- @6 ^! j  o
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! h7 L1 \. J3 y6 }7 v接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
3 P9 a  b; S# z& y话说Watson和未婚妻MaryHolmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
/ C: E% w  W# R: J/ g+ BHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟WatsonBut it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示Watson放他下来。)Good afternoon, dear. (向Mary问好。)' Z# [6 P$ P8 h
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)# H% _6 J( h6 [
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示Watson放他下来。)" i+ [8 O7 d$ E/ U% H% P  L; Y
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
( R, j. {' i7 z5 L$ xWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)7 T" f& ]( U6 N
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
: Q" F) F0 a) c; H/ r2 T2 y% ~9 T; MWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。)
3 G& I! h; L  ]% Y6 QHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
- v" k# u( v; A# _% MWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)* y* D) L  X% L: Y+ c9 }; |# B
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)& }; f& l7 y" ~) Q( v9 @% U1 v
WatsonHolmes放了下来。)+ J- z8 H+ X, Z' ]; y
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总之,这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……

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