《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 + b" z! I$ q3 _* G/ H1 l, C*********** 1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） 0 E* S6 w2 f- H# E5 n! r, |( eHolmes: I just picked it up. - ^8 M, `, D! u2 p: Y; B+ UWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） . k8 O& n' I; i. v9 ^4 ]Holmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. & r- v4 x5 z. e. j（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） 6 `; ^  E; ~: g+ z/ YHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. ; |2 g7 r' H+ Q! H3. * ]8 o" }8 M& j4 R! G晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 3 J- x, B6 B6 U: [! pWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 6 u4 |1 d* z7 a% j' g  }+ _4． * Y$ D$ Q& _+ v7 `8 b- s拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 6 P7 g, j" N8 u% E7． . G* j0 x0 |' G6 k6 X! oBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 2 s0 l- U, q, Y8． + Z2 p" p* V+ {/ E4 qIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? % |% w$ h" d# w- S# l3 RHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. : e7 X* Z. g, B* W9． 6 B; T6 E, t: H, X8 u. gIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。   o6 Y2 s# p$ m$ [2 |Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. 1 B4 {) w- F: M4 o" g( m, r  \Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. , A- ?* @, l: u( X2 mHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） / ^4 @" \7 b* ^+ |7 c. d得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 + \7 _, i) {* Z5 i- I" D( rWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? 0 i  v, m( k% z0 [Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. ! U& Y, M6 G) \8 g" U3 s墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. / A  O/ \' s$ m1 E# g& k1 Q3 EWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） # `# ]2 n0 r/ K3 z2 Y( `' Z7 ~5 q11． % e7 V0 b+ q6 f$ h$ z& b4 ?河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 1 S5 p9 n' B) p* MHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） . e4 z$ V! Q. u5 t$ z死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． 5 |+ \4 c$ T! L& U, a2 G( _警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. / j  L$ P/ n% B接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 6 r) H5 [9 D+ _, B( w0 Z( L; `话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 6 n/ _( K0 n, d9 ?5 z0 |Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） , s/ h6 m$ y5 K. H- D8 @Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） 5 z0 y* u  m4 h! B/ j( qHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） $ R+ y7 e& p) J. l2 Y9 |Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） 2 z- |7 f" _: Z- BMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） 7 i: X( E0 v1 W* y5 d% m8 D  B# i（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） 3 t4 G. v. n4 t: M*********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……