 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
7 D" [% g/ A: ~2 p% U6 CWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) / U$ F% C0 P2 E, M5 ?% L! K
Holmes: I just picked it up.! n7 n( B5 L8 t* D; \
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
) \: ]' q2 `, C2 |$ p: F yHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
7 S) w: V2 G) S, e" s! h( XWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
8 N( E, p7 P) @3 uHolmes: You did.
- y R J, Q! j, d2 |7 E; X(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
f4 N# y' }- M" i" g& |Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.% ]& Y) y. ~( A9 y8 h3 ]: K$ ~
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4 ?% Q4 C g8 U( e宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
7 P, \9 o/ j- TWatson: Permission to enter the armory.4 p: P8 \9 _% S: Y: U- R; B/ W
Holmes: Granted.
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9 d* x" J, z3 y: W: c# G晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
& t, ]( p: s$ \- CWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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" a; G3 R; v8 y( x2 U9 j拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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: @3 @4 x# @! r# }$ E3 HWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
( J7 \6 R5 I: W6 M; JWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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; H3 I# J B NIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 7 X$ O: i& O' o) v' M
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 3 L8 M" c, W p4 T% U; @
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
6 J9 {. y8 ], L' |0 i6 ]- A g; U" uHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) ' d# J1 m0 |4 F$ H O
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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" \9 }3 D) X6 U/ W d6 i( h1 MIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 % b9 Y: d6 X. C, p
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) # ^8 r1 { }4 T4 I! P1 ?# P% D& L7 u
Watson: Get that out of my face.
) A( [/ D/ f4 T* I) p3 IHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
! N/ {. ]6 c8 k3 |0 KWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
4 u* K* I3 k& l) S4 k% {2 a路人警官 Clarky上场。 " L, t! e- E) y4 {
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
9 p. U/ P$ l. u; lHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) " t; G! x! ?2 P! R# ]4 A
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
: M& _ y3 ?' uWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?# I- ]" x, l. g/ B# u0 C) s
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.; q+ L! i5 s: g* u3 p2 |& F5 e
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
( l1 W; O0 F1 ~1 C6 x$ \# L( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 3 ^; Q, c( h, p" l+ o
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.5 |) i* y0 s# \1 U3 v; o; U+ N2 G! d
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) 9 @- l0 O, l7 D# O
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( @2 W. z! M" ~* O/ a& z1 {8 Q4 y8 x河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
0 L. m& ~4 N6 iHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
- C6 \4 o# J4 m% q; {. QBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…: x) _9 w! b& v8 I( k# j
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
3 p9 h6 i8 ^9 S7 c" G! g死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
7 x% A6 P. E' }/ V# O) _Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
" f$ T$ |3 }2 M# ^& F8 I后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
; [% Z, N. t' i1 `0 {/ G, tHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 % E% o5 T3 i5 D/ M
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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}2 d2 p. s! A% x8 c! U6 M5 a- `接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
6 w" n0 c# c0 c+ x! e话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 - N. C- W: C* Q6 a
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
/ r" t/ y& T0 A/ @. bWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) % J: r0 f- N# d0 d: j) w
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) ! ?/ ~6 d b# U$ h0 |8 d' q7 r
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?" P% U5 L; Z; z' E& B
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) 8 B2 p# G2 N3 l, f1 `
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) . U; s4 p1 q* |4 V+ x
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
9 H0 l$ {. ^0 ?5 xHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
7 z7 h; _ L* K3 o IWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) * o" }9 j; W( i
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) 7 g6 x J: N1 `% @1 O9 Q
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) 9 ?3 h2 R3 l R1 \: {
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4 C1 f1 n- B- |7 y; {+ v总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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