 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 ( Q; C/ ~) o9 i
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
0 E* S6 w2 f- H# E5 n! r, |( eHolmes: I just picked it up.
- ^8 M, `, D! u2 p: Y; B+ UWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
. k8 O& n' I; i. v9 ^4 ]Holmes: Knew I forgot something.8 ^# m# v D. {, F
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) ) h6 w. d* q, m; J J, m
Holmes: You did.
& r- v4 x5 z. e. j(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
6 `; ^ E; ~: g+ z/ YHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.. w+ d1 G4 ^ G3 l/ X
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 . h# ]; z2 H4 @+ g
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.- b: o4 ?* e" x4 Q
Holmes: Granted.
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* ]8 o" }8 M& j4 R! G晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
3 J- x, B6 B6 U: [! pWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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* Y$ D$ Q& _+ v7 `8 b- s拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 " J2 k, G* r \ Q' Q0 F/ L% g% A
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 6 d2 f3 p* c* H- S6 s2 ~; l
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 4 T7 b9 y( r* z2 a# ]" ^
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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. G* j0 x0 |' G6 k6 X! oBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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+ Z2 p" p* V+ {/ E4 qIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 [ H- G. G4 x" @" x& [
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) % _& G9 ~" l# q+ Y" d/ S( Q
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
% |% w$ h" d# w- S# l3 RHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) n2 n+ y4 n* N* s
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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6 B; T6 E, t: H, X8 u. gIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
o6 Y2 s# p$ m$ [2 |Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) / _; n) o, L' s. Q2 x
Watson: Get that out of my face.6 Y2 k* x8 F1 l1 |& f
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
1 B4 {) w- F: M4 o" g( m, r \Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.2 W; n. B4 n) |3 O# z" m' U& o) N
路人警官 Clarky上场。 & i% I+ R1 a9 h( \
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
, A- ?* @, l: u( X2 mHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
/ ^4 @" \7 b* ^+ |7 c. d得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
+ \7 _, i) {* Z5 i- I" D( rWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
0 i v, m( k% z0 [Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.2 M( K* d o: `8 K8 N& @& r! c
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! U& Y, M6 G) \8 g" U3 s墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 ( u1 ?$ b" u X& U
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 8 S" N& j3 p7 A. I/ F) V/ [
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
/ A O/ \' s$ m1 E# g& k1 Q3 EWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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% e7 V0 b+ q6 f$ h$ z& b4 ?河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
1 S5 p9 n' B) p* MHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 5 d4 X8 ]) E& o( Z
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…0 ]" C' |1 K0 x
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
. e4 z$ V! Q. u5 t$ z死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 : y m( f$ l1 C% Q' K' R
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) 2 D% T, N" f0 I
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 9 I7 ]2 f/ S9 u
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 4 q6 q0 e; f, F, t# _$ b! k
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5 |+ \4 c$ T! L& U, a2 G( _警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 5 W# Q- N" l$ ?+ W! y! Q# e' x
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.! F# [4 J' e k" ^. n
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/ j L$ P/ n% B接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
6 r) H5 [9 D+ _, B( w0 Z( L; `话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
6 n/ _( K0 n, d9 ?5 z0 |Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
, s/ h6 m$ y5 K. H- D8 @Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
5 z0 y* u m4 h! B/ j( qHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 2 U; s1 l/ V, b& @% L- r0 p
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? X# Y; v1 N' @% U8 U
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
$ R+ y7 e& p) J. l2 Y9 |Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) # Q+ Y0 J) J$ k/ ~7 o1 \, V# q2 d4 v
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) ' A2 y- B' P8 m I
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) 4 O7 g/ h. v2 V7 Z
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
2 z- |7 f" _: Z- BMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
7 i: X( E0 v1 W* y5 d% m8 D B# i( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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