 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 6 K& j6 d7 b+ ~
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 . w/ H5 s' r: P K
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) . W u9 z* n- w+ P& v2 ?
Holmes: I just picked it up.
+ S) E) q! {/ x! C; \- zWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
, E' ^" t" o$ G$ V: AHolmes: Knew I forgot something.6 |# Z& h0 k4 u+ i% g9 c% `/ }- ]( h9 h
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
" b0 L7 `0 H' k! r1 XHolmes: You did. R" x, t$ A" ?! R# o2 `: B
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
9 l! |, p% y+ ~Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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% p2 {) V* L( c& _& B宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 8 R2 b$ U- Q) { V
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.9 g9 X7 t( k# a) V' T; J
Holmes: Granted.
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2 q6 q( \+ @/ @/ x1 t晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 ( d3 l% N# t" u/ _* R" \ Q, e
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 7 L$ B2 G& @+ t f( J2 X% Y
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
/ t9 U8 c) W4 U) w4 [; [5 uWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 ( M! z. E/ H* {' `3 k: v
7.
. R& }5 K$ z1 z sBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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" {3 x8 j! T+ W- WIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 . i+ p& X6 K3 a7 ^( k2 R7 ~7 }
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
1 t. i1 Z' |; _7 [Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
1 g8 H4 }# ], P9 fHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 7 k1 C& k+ |. ~# b% l! E. d& X* e
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
; I0 [1 f' G+ e& NHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) $ W" o6 o( {2 b
Watson: Get that out of my face.
$ W4 O5 {( S, k8 A4 ?% wHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
+ N4 C0 W6 g$ t# i' E: b0 v/ o$ kWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.. { x4 g8 s |8 P" _
路人警官 Clarky上场。 % e( z' E7 N v' m
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
9 R7 \8 ^5 y& J5 a& V- B; k' RHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
# g4 r) y% k6 }, u7 M得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 . i& E5 H1 V- |0 ~ w. C
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?& K, j( p( I W& p2 L u& v7 H
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 ' s( f2 a* ] r2 z D/ ^
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
* N, j! p- k3 r+ d8 O) M$ N9 R6 FHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.3 t% l' }4 E' o& H6 V3 ?. M9 {) [
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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! w* o- g' y. ]+ V# u, c河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 - t* d7 W5 w" Z& O3 z, x1 [) `
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 9 v4 w1 a$ D+ w( |' r! P
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
3 M0 b# c6 F F/ j6 F$ g/ }Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 1 {3 }# l6 x/ S5 Q; _& y
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
3 b! i; H9 R5 R; YHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
. D. L5 r9 l6 F. o后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 % }9 m$ O& h. Z
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) % _; o( k) O, f9 h& d n# @& Z7 U
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 ; s$ O8 y$ A+ r4 ~; P
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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5 F& r+ c4 A( k. `& a+ J9 F' I; {接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
6 S* L7 T* P3 t n- r话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 % S( M5 V8 O: ]3 ^
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
. g8 `$ Q: Z- H4 |% ^1 n0 Q% s' S# }, KWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
2 X. S: L/ I |0 G% V* Y3 i# Y+ Q+ pHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 4 {8 g0 g! v, X) W
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
8 s3 P* B' ^2 p. R5 b5 ^! SWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) , k$ u9 n; M6 D$ l
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
' U7 o0 m0 g p" b0 H0 w% e" yWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
7 Y/ h) t6 s& W: zHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) ; \1 T4 l0 a; k2 ^7 f2 R
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) $ q" T! R8 V4 o+ z: |
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) 2 m3 t. p! ~, x6 h$ ?+ E2 ~$ P
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) ! i# I' t4 x/ J& C) p i$ ^
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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