 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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' G. ?. t% i9 j: j+ f J影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
3 `% }* `, I3 }4 ?Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) W/ D* Q9 h' I/ a
Holmes: I just picked it up.
, ?- Y, s8 G( dWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
& n: `- T0 K6 M/ m% @Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
5 R. _8 W5 z9 |" [: [0 iWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
# M4 I1 H; ~5 }) G. H% z6 \: E1 UHolmes: You did.6 Y8 t3 X/ L# h- X( j# \5 M
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) : C2 q. I) |# c/ m- j& A
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
( }! F8 @% E l4 x6 w) W s" vWatson: Permission to enter the armory.6 x. m \- p, I. R- b2 D! N
Holmes: Granted.
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6 n# v% ]; H) |1 u/ }8 ?晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 4 H* u9 y2 ~" h2 ^ [" F
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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0 p( ~+ K2 L; Y拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 : {) O5 Z4 t7 o- c/ r; A
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4 f& O) h2 {' A# s' s: JWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 / S e) J7 Z) \0 w5 ]5 I
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) ! l* d& k6 l9 N2 v1 A: s2 Y* ?# j
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$ @4 }1 Y/ f {- i( H1 K M( ~Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 , J# Y7 v: {- h& F) G8 D7 F
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 * k/ g4 p" ]8 Z' V) s | d
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- I' Q% A$ E9 J) u' OIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 3 z# f/ Z' q1 H( F, s2 d; z! L
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) ! }5 R5 H3 V8 R @ S3 @* ]2 h7 l
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?* B* r4 s# E( d( x# T
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
! F) b2 d& ^' @) y! w3 EIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 / h& n& T5 D( ~; U1 r- b# q8 ]
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
# V( o6 M5 c/ M* ^3 o( P3 DWatson: Get that out of my face.
2 [8 S5 }- X2 W7 u e; ZHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.% ]# X5 ~7 f* J& Y f$ h
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
0 u. F& N4 n) x# ], d2 V( T路人警官 Clarky上场。 " i! P, t8 L v. c
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
& ^5 G9 S. l* J! IHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
9 o; e/ M5 O4 @! C( A5 X得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 4 i" z7 r5 }# _6 u7 c' r
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?( s t# ]2 T) x* x% `# r
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.0 A: D8 U5 [) _! A9 Z# J$ ~
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5 Z1 L% R* t% H0 O( z5 F墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
: Y) ~/ o# H/ s3 \% x' a, I( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
6 [- O: ^ t2 v5 J1 xHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
+ z- c1 S# e$ {2 f1 s1 F# EWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) 6 r. } w7 i8 t: z- s3 }
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 - @) B! n- ?" v+ Q! E+ b+ P
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) & V& T9 F8 |8 I' B8 [
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
" Z+ c) M0 B* c! \1 kWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
% {* Q3 c' E& Q) l4 O8 O6 e8 d死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 , h3 s: w; Y9 F3 t
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) : W. \# T* w4 l' M2 `! ]
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
( z+ z! @/ G$ M3 WHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) ) ?& A& {# b5 Z' Z, |
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3 F2 V# `4 y$ r C* f警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 5 j( X3 B+ f; }5 h$ ? W
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.# `8 j& O7 ]1 ^
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; b; D! O7 v, F+ C" n9 `3 J接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
( q0 L. c) s/ {话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
9 }7 Z, H* [$ IHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
1 e4 Q' Z# B5 AWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 2 y# F2 }; ]$ ]
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 2 `; [4 z E9 h: C$ }. @
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?: O# m5 [# m* y; d/ U
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
- r( @9 |. G0 `4 v( aHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) ; N$ t* M& S* m: o. |2 l' B
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) ) S: b) G, |2 F% l- ~
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
+ i @7 y9 T* w. ^3 B4 i4 lWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
( E; `3 o6 l9 f- m7 t6 uMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
+ k$ X0 V3 ?3 F0 A0 x( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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