 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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! V+ S' z1 Q# |' ]# H. t影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 8 U8 `5 s2 D' j7 e
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
" {7 F9 x7 |5 c( d) T* dHolmes: I just picked it up.
4 e; p. J8 u. p6 i- p7 [. [Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
* E9 G: \! i6 P0 T1 m. d7 H3 ~" dHolmes: Knew I forgot something.! K6 h5 g- M( P- w i6 H8 g; K
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) 4 n+ f4 x- ~% H
Holmes: You did.6 y6 S6 V: L$ }2 Q6 v
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
+ m7 l: r7 M# t9 @5 {( V, q3 u& `Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.' _# i8 k. e1 W" J: P4 d/ M
2.
5 u' N' r5 X# }$ b+ x7 Q宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 + q3 Q w2 p N
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
! p- D0 _" A! ?% V! sHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 * ? ?) |7 x: @+ P% J
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
7 e% h$ Z* F/ F( b, @, F$ ]Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 3 Q. M X6 Q5 _: P3 n# y# F4 r
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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1 \ D3 V( U( ^: F' e; VIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
( a- i( A- f3 c6 b x4 g( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
' ?, z7 M4 U/ y# C. pIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
, g L* s0 O; d! P( Y; _Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) * z7 F; F0 Y' C
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 - q# ^* \, x; n9 O5 D) u1 K
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) ! \2 p, ?$ Q5 @
Watson: Get that out of my face.
( u; S0 ?2 d# f& W, UHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.& Y" S1 D) N7 G, |+ M' k1 M' K
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.; R. n$ V+ L# w8 {
路人警官 Clarky上场。
* n: U9 @+ n! `% FClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once., ~. i) {. r L! T
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
) l4 d# T" D% y得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 " {4 a1 k G; A5 ^. J" q
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
% {9 k! j4 Q+ S5 LHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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! J7 n0 ?; q& Q+ f r( ^ k墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
' T" y3 l# z# C0 t) E7 b# O( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) : n% T% j: V% Z5 W$ i0 ^0 {- ~: `8 t$ Q
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely., U7 Q( g, }- d7 Y
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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8 H/ E8 o2 ~7 s1 N+ D, u3 ?河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
( q0 X2 @# n; J+ W. U/ i+ S' fHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
6 m3 V2 A z1 D) sBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…% f# j) Y6 y0 h% W( c
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 5 o( a0 }' G! p: y+ d( y
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
* n' Y$ p. j; F2 P- HHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
8 _ K, M- |3 b. E) j后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 , G$ a# b$ P+ }: H9 W* b
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 & ^2 Z" k- d% _8 a/ H
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.& @9 B8 U. ~5 B
13.
+ Z0 u2 W( a2 ], e* T接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 4 b: A `- g& V) o) X
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 4 D' F0 Q. P9 E
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
. p0 m/ K! k, V8 H9 h) vWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 9 q! G: J t+ S$ o9 w: u
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
; U$ P' O/ A; l$ CMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?; L% X# @: t# \4 |! K
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
% H" V; v4 A2 Z+ Y f, @& aHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) $ w& i1 R& T: p4 S* p A. A
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
! V3 h4 v# [3 |$ K2 X7 e4 Y7 t2 OHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
/ H) Q4 G! q2 j" n- VWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
7 C5 F' b2 m R3 A* }9 v2 oMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) 1 }& q( U, k. i; L
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) 8 h6 V0 h; D6 I7 U s& v9 W
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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