《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** ( D: x4 Y& V- J. F, F& Z2 y3 J1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） 0 V0 e6 R+ i$ ^Holmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. / k. `% B' k2 {: x# ?( L0 C' x/ ]（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） 4 K) }2 W. Q" p: @3 T6 jHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. * e. ]) ?  ]5 \$ |2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 , j7 J. T# p1 n& f6 lWatson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. 3. , K# n* w5 F5 f2 p) [晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） + a* `" Z4 E5 K- t* d% ?6 H/ v4． ' R& q& F* O( s6 D拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5．   h/ e. T7 X5 ?Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）   y+ K0 q7 I" _, K( J# `, w& B6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 - [: H* r1 R! w; L$ q' s; k7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 1 Z. A, u' Y" }8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 1 R+ y, F) Z0 ]- t# V0 i（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. - \* h. n+ Z! c5 H- ~" W9． - q! s8 m7 }8 v$ T- N5 g: M( pIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）   ^+ _5 n) s: X% y0 x! YWatson: Get that out of my face. 8 X  f5 l: W% h* B* l# BHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. 0 |! k3 w& L0 |! h8 y" a6 xWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 1 z' ~: }; T. W3 U8 [. J+ I/ i  b路人警官Clarky上场。 9 i) K; T# ?6 c" F* Z% ^Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） & F' y! z3 u! z# b& K0 I4 u得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? , I& p* }4 I, rHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 2 ]  o$ j, {  W6 [) b% E: b4 R10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） 0 R& T# Z7 z" b" ^% K4 B) GHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 1 z% Q, Q  H5 C4 m8 x  O11．   K) |/ O) \( O0 y* X河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） $ K! ~' E: Q8 b! z- @5 }Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… ; F) L: Y* a% g, mWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 5 @! u2 w; @/ U% G$ p( |12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. - v, ~+ x# i9 S4 y. m0 i, ?3 U接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 3 A2 `4 ~! L+ I话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 ' w( R4 L) `3 pHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? # v: }: E+ j3 x' @Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） ! T/ c- R8 p# q7 @  H/ P' }+ Q" \* C（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） ! C( s1 [; l9 Y/ G* @) a8 G: k, z*********** * |" a  t( A  o( r( O总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……