 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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9 z s) Z! e0 }: ~: c4 }9 u影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 1 n l0 [6 Q5 a8 {6 t, n' |, ~
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
5 i& t, B" n3 j5 THolmes: I just picked it up.6 H' w; a) W8 C
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
2 V; r! X8 f$ Y, U& G: S! y& ?( ^Holmes: Knew I forgot something." c7 |. K- k. q* B
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) : N) l+ ~, _5 U$ j6 F
Holmes: You did.8 v0 i3 l# o7 U* r6 @+ [8 e! d% W
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
# B$ l" o! m, BHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
( I8 |' g: X" K0 `9 m$ T9 t$ uWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
6 s0 y) ?5 k+ E' [, P9 t9 tHolmes: Granted.( L' M/ V, R2 M& B
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 8 r9 j5 O$ i2 X8 J$ e$ P
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) : T3 x; R9 T% h0 v
4.
) x+ d$ ~$ C% r h拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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3 F6 s6 X0 j2 g4 bWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
/ G4 G8 e" s" ~) l) a3 SWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 3 Q& |8 Q$ b3 p+ N2 G$ ], j3 z% R: g+ A
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 / R7 H& I- H: x
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
' W- a( d$ ]3 x+ w" }( b: V( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
5 e: i& W' u1 m0 _# r3 P/ jIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
8 @; B+ s# X9 V1 I$ l# N0 x- sHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) w4 h N- v& i3 y
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.3 s/ ~3 p4 L5 Y( L: M
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 ; u& g7 b ]& ~3 a+ K7 \2 d
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
) o f7 G) A+ ~( ~6 x" w3 ~Watson: Get that out of my face.- C C4 F+ p5 c& K- Q9 D! q) M
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.8 D+ k/ _5 e( x6 q% O1 Y
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.. Y, F, V+ }. U- u1 w
路人警官 Clarky上场。
4 Q2 d n! @% q4 N- _6 IClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
# Q+ s6 X4 e( R1 \4 ^Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
2 R" l0 c7 b7 \1 }, V& P得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 8 H9 v; E4 n2 j0 x; V# U/ O
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?6 N3 L" P0 ? S+ }/ |) ?
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 3 t7 U S) q* j8 } x) z0 G
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
. F3 E/ ?: o$ J! t: n$ p( E4 aHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.5 V+ N) k" U) }. C% y
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) , i- L; k- V& \% a2 Q+ N" ~3 t
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 6 \" Q$ ~7 _) L, P
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 9 e. _/ _$ P( j6 N$ S4 @$ B
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
: [8 N# H/ m% G5 o: j5 B) |0 \Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 1 y6 j- ^6 f' P; P
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
* n& ~5 g% H- D n: I: B. uHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) ! K9 M5 s+ Z( b* A/ t/ U
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
$ H* ~% G9 z8 m5 J4 E( N. Y' r# P) i% EHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) $ U. E& o. q3 F
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
, y% v2 r! h6 {$ _& m8 WLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.& S7 \0 U/ R3 j) m
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: H; ]1 a) E7 N( @' q接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 $ I! W& G4 F2 p; J' F
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 / t1 Q' W3 q) E
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 7 S2 T" l4 O. o) l @7 q
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 0 T: C7 |& h8 q' \- `2 H
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 1 B- c5 `6 P n% \
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
' ~: h7 y6 w; j6 M8 JWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
3 n7 Z! C8 h7 ]( h1 SHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
% c2 i1 R0 s! S3 @0 h5 kWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 4 ^# u" `5 R( K
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) * F# p7 E. z. I& ?0 b/ k
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) / [+ L0 a; f3 d7 ^$ s8 n
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
+ U: \& E; ?0 |. t' [( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) & t& J% B" {0 o5 \7 M# z
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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