 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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9 u# \! r* @ I6 E" j" ?; K影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 " h; V% d6 i- n( `
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) ! G, w8 U$ v# B' c) c: x
Holmes: I just picked it up.
# g5 c- F% v+ v& h& U1 X; v) yWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
( s5 d1 D6 j ^1 _& o, BHolmes: Knew I forgot something.- o- a# T, M$ M% _; w) g
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) " Q! V% `: Z( V7 q/ v* y5 Y
Holmes: You did.
$ Z3 s6 b, h p3 y: ?$ m# t: s0 x7 q(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) % A3 L8 |$ H1 d e
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 $ Q: E) U# e s8 ^; a
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
- D* Y- d8 |) _+ P+ \. y/ r- |) p) BHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
9 h5 f3 u; V" TWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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' q y9 I+ A, _( \: r拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 * n. Q/ [; w: i( C
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3 G% v3 {# x6 ?% B" H' P, `( q8 sWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
: T7 }, v5 V4 B2 r+ ]4 W+ Y/ qWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) " ], O, J/ Q `
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0 D0 D2 {, X( n1 z; b' n- C0 ~3 V8 CHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 9 f, W+ A+ [0 z; I3 c% o2 n3 q
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 ) x5 h' ?) _1 ]
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0 J% y6 J! O) L7 }/ k2 @0 qIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 " U! i* |: M! R( ?7 |" s; i
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
/ p, V6 e( I0 J; F/ c- F* b' XIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?1 m, k) P. P+ K# m
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 7 C0 H/ R9 S, z, L, z
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.1 o f0 n; i4 b8 ?+ r
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" w$ w: [& b/ |4 ZIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
; d" k& g6 S, W# {4 zHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
) z; h: R+ M& A, u8 w5 RWatson: Get that out of my face.% I |! _# T O6 D
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.8 ~% ?, Q s S0 `, Z2 i! O
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
/ z5 r; S% b- u1 i- J. m0 d路人警官 Clarky上场。 $ @9 u; f4 O, Q2 o# S
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.+ f9 G# t& ^2 X1 T d7 X3 J7 z
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
$ _ e$ r- O# `# D1 d得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 9 D) c3 a1 d: V+ ]6 b( q, H# R
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
2 Y2 R1 y/ u! C: IHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.. }2 Q0 J0 k2 H* o
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 4 y/ p# r2 H n3 H
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) : F, v2 s4 s# X( `5 L
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
0 j$ m! I: Z& E- D( W) RWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
+ t0 q& N+ _. e+ Y. t3 C6 Y9 S- Y; |: x# JHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 1 C* c* {+ C$ F- L& K
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…/ ^/ B; W1 a: E, d, G: v
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) # h% l }1 ~- M8 H7 q3 N
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 5 R+ B. z, C: |1 v8 d
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
5 o+ S2 Z4 X: v* Z" U; I S5 b* k1 R后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
* N& P, t* @4 c8 t8 M8 y2 t( ^Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
: z! r4 T- I4 ?3 GLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.! M) G ~9 ^* ]2 ^' t4 h+ X: \4 ~
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
' |2 i$ \4 I! y' S# D% s话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
/ m0 o' i7 F- _! ~& C) wHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
: o1 }" F# x5 p/ yWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 6 n0 `' U; V/ k! N w# H
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 2 d% f! P2 F2 p- F1 X/ I3 u
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?1 K# u' M! }7 S* P& T% H: w
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
1 J2 D. {; S0 }5 SHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 1 _# D* R$ q/ S* ^" I
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
! i7 H. c+ ~2 D& G" uHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
! R E- S" f$ iWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) * a M; h" f0 y- \4 ^
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) " K7 N& r' l- ?* i
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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9 x% P6 a; m! C7 }; W" Z总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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