《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** / z% i% \0 Z9 H* ~1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 ; K/ i1 U9 c" e7 E8 aWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） 2 \7 ?4 k6 r9 U0 J, ]# U+ FHolmes: I just picked it up. 4 t9 O) K0 O( q0 BWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. $ q9 q. M8 g7 v% p  f  sWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） - G- d1 u) T& s$ t2 Q, }6 ?6 lHolmes: You did. 5 e" T2 h* F7 R  v8 U; K0 g（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． : h7 N) X2 b% W0 e) s: j宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. 5 R) v8 D! C! _: V- THolmes: Granted. : J4 I# ]3 \: R% `5 h; Q$ z3. . G9 E0 q' M. Y0 @  O* e晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 3 f$ E2 B8 u. |3 z) {8 TWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） ' q5 x' V) M0 m4 X+ z) q4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 ; _" t; W3 n% H& L5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． . z8 p8 L( \9 a+ c6 B" [Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 4 c  R! r: |- \8． # A, l' n/ s: v1 f  BIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? 5 o8 U5 v6 b  \" N9 ?! Q( nHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 8 f2 D: X( m" ~; h9 k9． ) G% q1 M% c5 g( L0 YIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 7 `) u# i, I4 X; N; |- NHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. ; _7 z8 M" Z' ]. h路人警官Clarky上场。 4 M* ~% u. F8 u- A7 H, P, T: r  j- \Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. / c; [7 r0 n2 W" [) y2 E墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. ' a! {1 Z  \6 N. c; s& kWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． : b# f5 d' W1 _* Q/ p河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 1 ^. p( h9 F; o7 GHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） . P, a3 ?6 S* ]2 O  c6 ?# ]Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… % r, {2 R# Q# G0 mWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 3 |$ \& _$ a* c! X6 ]死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 2 D- i  N+ t6 m* O8 }2 ^" z. H$ LHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 " P% [' K2 E( ELestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 7 V1 \5 m" d' g- n1 `) l13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 6 x- c9 g4 B5 p6 g( o话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? 4 Z5 k  ?9 n9 m3 `) {& D: FWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） 9 W$ f& P' M0 n, H" NWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** 6 o8 T! S& L+ ]4 l" ^- F$ U总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……