 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 - l1 I8 ?% D& u7 Z$ F2 D
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
; I& c* p! W1 L5 ?3 M" JHolmes: I just picked it up.
1 N$ t4 Z& J$ ]Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) : q' p/ d! Q7 Q/ u0 [
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
2 u$ s, p! J5 \1 ZWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
" u7 ]; G" d# [3 j# G. {Holmes: You did.9 E; C! S# }1 \# }5 a+ e) o
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
8 S0 V5 o+ n8 c. w* V) h" wHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
' Y% A9 X% y. S8 kWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
% m9 N3 ?6 U( p4 lHolmes: Granted., J7 t6 e# b) S# Y
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 ) @5 g# k( Z4 ]& q6 I9 l" r
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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; D% ^- t$ y" O2 O拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 % p4 ?* T: i; i+ M. m, a4 W5 S
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
$ A7 }8 I, n; C5 W2 R+ HWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) ) b0 [5 m, |" V' B. t
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" X& f! C3 j, t' R. m9 I4 gHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 0 ^" T l" p6 I' ]5 a% m
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 ; E, {# U T6 e
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) . ]) K9 M1 N$ r. E9 g
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?+ o u9 B* e5 c) v3 Y" u
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 7 m3 ^. Z$ m: `) y
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.: A5 n r, T% j7 U# Q$ Y7 |* @" [: G
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 ; I3 Y9 _ H3 w# Z
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
; X0 E" R( N: i6 U4 P C. \Watson: Get that out of my face./ w% V8 E+ Y& V) o1 f6 A
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.. @* y& h' m) m1 G$ H
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.+ X. D0 @8 L3 E( o) p
路人警官 Clarky上场。
+ k |4 \& F$ w( I& nClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
2 g5 [& S( G( w9 o: B! @/ LHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) ' x- |% a! D t
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
' E1 I/ K- k _* \; `3 P3 SWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
" s+ l. ^2 k p- bHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
7 R) z( P. `5 a# y) Z3 T( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 2 H( f! e# Z9 V n! k1 N
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.3 w' ?) @# Y6 I) ~% n \/ Y
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) D: E( P7 B- Y
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
. j$ u: [2 g: ?5 Y2 }Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) ! H8 c4 x% T) O1 T! T5 e6 ~, r( f A
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
- b" _% d1 d4 o. K7 d f4 Q7 gWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
* R8 U$ L" K0 l/ }: q死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
; e% p$ a; d. c' r2 L6 \* F8 l! GHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) ; ^8 r/ Y) d5 r
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
1 J [% r" {/ J" nHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 6 G- M+ T: i- V1 h7 t
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 * i2 b/ x, f/ D* b) v5 m" K% d
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 2 C; C2 j+ Q+ N
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
! }1 l6 K* f$ H. yHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) % F. f: `, E6 L4 Z
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
' S* }- n0 P3 F* r P$ |5 r% S# fHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) ! {1 h" w9 q# t! j, J- y
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
" Y X% [6 q5 a) @% _/ LWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) 6 p2 M' L N8 F. M
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
+ |2 z. q5 L6 X$ I3 O( NWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 8 ^) {. {7 Z+ _* @% R
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
6 ~1 r% F% N+ h3 VWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
$ m( b! b1 v9 U' ?( ]0 I$ X/ x( JMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) / @4 }. U2 r1 g4 `7 l+ g
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) ' I' t1 I- B, v d- F( S
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+ O" M& j- g: O9 X6 N6 v; W总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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