 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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1 J! ^9 L9 f% C3 T& Y( H: o影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
# `6 d' }) u" @5 ~2 l4 }Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
$ d G k% k( \; z) yHolmes: I just picked it up./ n" i- H! S* @: }$ ]
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) 4 H7 z( ?0 K8 ~1 ~
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
- Y) G0 n; R9 v, @8 @Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
# I# d1 z' D2 O( I4 d" _% I0 iHolmes: You did.3 Q) }/ f, V8 M( x3 ?" i- o8 i
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) 5 o" A/ r2 i- G. M
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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: r+ k: u2 d, @宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
) T" Y1 z& ^8 c/ b! {Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
7 b9 z) ~/ k5 i6 I2 MHolmes: Granted.$ H6 b& I7 u, ^* i
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 " O% W$ c, s5 W2 R l$ w1 w2 a
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5 y4 x/ V- D, n
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% O& v. F( W7 v$ `3 m% n2 LWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
' D/ b# V! G7 f; g" yWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) . l* T$ l* w0 t# z3 E( j: L
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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' Z) Q0 B8 G- LBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 & A' C9 s$ {8 T
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" _. q# C$ K5 J" R, {Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
' Q8 L$ S- l, d( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
2 S4 X# G8 [9 T% f% C5 W/ lIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?6 z. s/ D) V) i1 A$ ]$ h4 e
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
. r$ O8 U8 Q: w( _+ r; T5 v: eIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
/ D$ T% @" a% ~3 k3 E `Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
- P1 G% g) I) f5 q, qWatson: Get that out of my face.
" V0 J9 F; _8 O, E4 ~& ZHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
/ W9 S. K! f5 N/ J+ n" U5 T$ mWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.3 h A# f" p( O& J1 H
路人警官 Clarky上场。 % d" L' t a$ ?4 w( K# f
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
7 @3 x9 ?+ |8 K% n1 |Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
6 [9 B6 u* y" K# ?得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
5 x k! t! m; u" g; u4 |. l9 R; HWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?) l% l8 H* g* ?3 D6 _
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.$ L2 V2 f1 U' q" s
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
0 m" p2 a) v2 F. i( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
( j; Q; t: `* K0 t, e% pHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.% e) A# [5 I4 @2 V2 K, W/ k' z9 q
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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: c* c+ U0 [, ~( D- N2 b河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 ; v7 E$ H& e/ c7 u
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) . }3 V6 n. [" l% s5 G+ |
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…/ w" O& V' |$ i9 }/ m4 V' n9 U
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
' G$ K- I" v: n4 q3 Z死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 6 Z# m; b0 H; r1 v5 ~0 l
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
8 ?6 @9 A* L- l: P& R7 t后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 " q: T: w$ Z; B
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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+ v( z, B( @7 D7 T/ r E警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 3 i P0 z; S8 [$ ^& W. r
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 & J: ^' V0 ^% S1 V: y- N
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 4 U0 M" [7 [ T0 \% ]3 U: a
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
* h2 u" l) u. n# DWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
6 J0 E; e3 t- \Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
j3 L0 u. X% D) F/ \' ^Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?- p7 d& D; F( B% g: \' ~$ f
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
+ w! E6 d3 K: ^$ |* f! G& QHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) ' p- X2 Y& _7 o3 C) M% F: [
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
H+ E- x' Z/ S) [4 [! Z( \- mHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) 8 `5 `! h8 o3 v
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
1 f @% f' |! y: n! o) E* MMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) 6 l; I& ~6 V2 a5 o8 p: _
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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