 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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' d6 Z) q6 H; ?! o, Q" r影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
# W% N& U$ y% B# {Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) 0 N% L% D( ^6 ]
Holmes: I just picked it up., O" J; A" C6 C3 k
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) 7 {. [$ y9 ]" {. ^
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.) A3 a5 \4 G5 o4 S, }% i7 [
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
9 W! p% u. k& G: [' W/ nHolmes: You did.
6 E7 J9 }1 w) Y! P8 R7 `(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
9 V5 c( B- l9 X' X4 l8 BHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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, H: s/ {5 f7 n |* l( ?+ N7 W宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
: @ l3 s" M: j# _- c" _9 nWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
; I% C0 o! T5 x* }Holmes: Granted.4 D4 s, q7 G g5 B
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" p; k8 v- `9 I+ W7 s晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
2 w# U: M# V4 D! N9 eWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) * E0 R F& d1 m
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 . A0 w/ O8 u+ F7 r5 d
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% Q& Q! `3 S3 @: u3 gWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 % R* r" d% }1 {9 H8 T& B! C2 d
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 6 Y5 d6 A$ ]$ I7 |2 @8 W/ O! I
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3 m! a# G/ N) oHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
# x& I& F0 X7 j: _$ w$ D* ^( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) - O4 q- S& {/ c! ]0 o
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?6 D0 ~6 O9 y0 u! S' h
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) - _, G7 |& |: N/ h- V3 I2 h! T( q
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
% v) e0 q0 Y7 lHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) . i$ g6 }- k. w2 d
Watson: Get that out of my face.6 e' _6 F: N5 ]1 u* S- {/ B
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.2 D u& e# {/ S0 B5 X" Z$ z
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
5 @& P7 }4 X* Y0 I' ~4 P3 L路人警官 Clarky上场。
2 ~# U/ X s$ a* m. yClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
2 b5 e9 O( y3 t. M5 W- dHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
1 B6 \# }" W0 w8 a( |3 u& x8 s4 S得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
, W) C K \3 [5 o) WWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?! f; U' |4 o4 _) R, Y1 s
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 " i, j9 X3 Y/ B0 j% ]
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 2 e! j% ^8 _& S
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.' f! ^1 Y; Y, o0 ]
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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9 j# B% k* ^# F. l' R, k河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 + \7 h4 \2 b4 F8 p7 @3 s4 N
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) $ }- K; Q% r8 i) F7 R
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
! @% l1 g4 l/ lWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) : ~ s- |. `1 A3 T
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
- O$ x" D/ {/ D' d& kHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
) h9 O$ S' G9 _/ p后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
0 E3 T" ~1 _1 e4 j* vHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 , P* c; y5 M/ W5 O. C, b( c* N
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.2 G# f# j7 c2 q& P' a4 N
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 9 v4 `3 Z7 W* ~8 b; x5 \% E
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 1 R+ h7 x; b2 V" ^
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 4 R) N. U9 T; V+ |- a7 C7 ^& R
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 3 `1 A9 [9 L: Q h, t
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) : r( |/ U& [. P, w" L, a. J9 s7 i% p
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
# z' A: y/ Y% h, x6 o5 ?$ ~Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) , S2 z5 j% {9 a% o
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
8 f& w! A, W% W' t! x7 \) `Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
, U! r; Q4 A2 IHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) ) G* o8 l/ x9 \; z! ?
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
, w4 @+ o# R" N H: RMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) 1 l/ j# A X' t5 a1 R! k
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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