 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 4 J. U" i6 e% {+ Z% B
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
7 k! P0 s* t# M3 H5 s+ xWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
x) L: C9 u* {1 @$ n. B# JHolmes: I just picked it up.
+ Q/ A" c( A3 `. eWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
0 D1 C# l; i. K- y* Z# UHolmes: Knew I forgot something." l8 C) o4 }" G+ D. p2 l2 w5 _
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) % O3 z% C8 J4 \% e5 A" x' ~" W" g+ x
Holmes: You did.* e) V6 K/ B( f% `
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
% B' ~% ~! n; u7 G7 {# PHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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& T, S4 e+ F+ Z4 Z& Y: X宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 5 \( Y/ a( j. y7 R5 f! ~
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
0 u2 ]7 L. D$ Q; _Holmes: Granted.
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/ L% b5 [; j5 b A0 _8 i/ d晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
# i5 A9 A2 O1 d5 h, H8 t5 HWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) * ~# x0 R" P( A4 c' Q
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 4 T4 g$ q9 T0 j: Q& i
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
5 k5 p& Y! h2 _$ mWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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, |0 ?4 Y9 d) _+ ]8 F7 ]+ {3 C+ [Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 n6 f7 y+ G4 o/ x, b
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[4 T% ~6 P9 L9 X! aIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
0 U# Q- k: Q h. o o( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) ; T6 `0 d9 c/ h$ Q# J
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?9 v5 v* a; r! q: ~$ T# e. ~/ w' V
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
( I3 @) ~ Z5 t& u. sIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
Y7 H# \) ?7 S- nHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
( u5 ~( r2 A z* N- XWatson: Get that out of my face.
8 {. ]" ^2 q* o L" S, e1 D/ {Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
) W( ~- A1 l/ f, f; L3 _: HWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.& R: O# p1 @; {, ^( k$ D k4 {2 l
路人警官 Clarky上场。 " F* l$ C' @& Y+ C% p7 t! U/ m. {
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
% k1 H0 \* t, B$ R8 G5 |. ]* {6 qHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) 3 ]! `5 K! Z. D0 Q, h
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
* J7 I, K4 l7 ^Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?* H V8 R" e, H% Q
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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9 ^( H4 K m. \) S4 m4 m) c9 w墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
h. h7 a' n/ z \( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
* i& u% x- a5 {1 ^* }Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.+ d) s5 D# U9 c! u" {0 f& Z! o9 V
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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Y; F$ ?* N; S6 o+ E/ s, _河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
$ j" _; H, E; EHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) & I5 `2 M1 g9 E* X0 m0 c( J
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…: a, d. o! A7 U
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
) B6 b$ W6 s1 P. U) r死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
$ b6 S3 { r0 C6 c8 d9 l; L3 F. W WHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
. R" h4 ?" n6 G( H: g( K后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
/ J z" t- ]2 Z8 ~6 q2 nHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 9 R9 {" Q+ J( [* v2 s7 I: A
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 & | u$ E4 E- j& f
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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L/ R9 V6 G1 l$ N1 T7 t9 I* K接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 1 R: W. D) I% q- y( I
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
' ^) i' H& O' H/ h$ ZHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
" ?5 Y% f2 E1 e# mWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) , b) |8 y F2 X. p" {, y
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
% z# G7 J1 d0 J+ M8 B9 eMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?9 T- g; g& V8 |3 d& }
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
5 x, d$ C5 @( {: U9 Z$ c- L8 K. kHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
7 j8 E0 c5 h" ?: ]% mWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
! o7 x+ r! Q4 s8 [9 D+ ]Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) - V' l2 m* j% I* n. Z3 {6 e
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) 9 |$ d# f3 y3 Y8 ~8 l
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
$ o' J! X; q# Z6 W2 t( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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3 i3 G! T T; c! _- s `7 y+ s i( X总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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