《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 $ v/ A: d2 j, W: Q*********** 1． 7 D. y& `" n3 {- J, N影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） 3 v7 d8 H$ O/ W( bHolmes: Knew I forgot something. 4 N% ~: r7 k* [: Y$ |% AWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） : X( s3 Q& K* k$ U# DHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. / P! I9 S+ @: I$ C# I7 B- u2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. + b. o$ l9 {9 s7 O3 u3. : H0 O# |1 j6 t5 I. z1 \' i晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． 5 h) @; h! s- IWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 4 M: @$ U/ ^- y$ F6． " b. S7 }4 i/ }8 w4 _Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 ) j3 R. `' q1 q* x: r) ]' o9 g7 ]+ {8． ( h: F9 E  I1 V: x5 DIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 9 w4 `4 @3 ]8 p/ h（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? & \* S2 O2 Z+ x) kHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） ( Y9 j, H0 `, R/ E7 p. FIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． 8 ]5 j, D1 |' l2 dIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 8 _* b" `% O* l0 b1 K8 ?$ Q9 mHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） / v9 V( T6 i) q& P8 z9 L3 XWatson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. $ J- h! @+ t; R% R# V6 t& a3 D路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） : h8 ?, s0 B( `) o得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 ( ~  _9 V( t  y( }& jWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? 6 G" p7 E( }, l0 YHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） $ e4 M7 V) i% B- M3 qHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. - s( k) `) p4 Q' R, d! |$ _Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． : j  O' S' X8 ?% E1 R: `2 u- W河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 ( q9 t6 {" G4 |  O; v( f5 EHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） * N/ I9 g6 B! c9 Z' CBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 + [! U" e+ ~2 I$ e- |) t" Q9 t: @Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 / K5 }" K/ O: E% |) O0 [: O; nHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． ! n3 {! P" A8 n$ o; p2 K警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. ( j8 B8 P1 n% h0 s7 |13. - u3 H/ v5 X4 z接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 # W1 q- I/ o& u0 {0 u; q话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 8 Q8 ^+ G$ p8 P4 b) J0 \3 vHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） 7 S; e' ^" x4 B/ w! jWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? # m6 ]$ K" h# X7 B1 `  AWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） 0 f  t! n  q% [0 UHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） ) `+ }2 m) S: {5 [& vHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） 6 y9 ^4 L3 t: a0 I3 \2 nWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） 7 l0 t& O7 j; v' X* Q% Z8 XMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** ; d' B3 W; @0 z. _& q% A- @- L总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……