《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 1 n2 d: s2 k6 r( X5 p4 g*********** ) M: y2 M" p! W1 u; R4 ?1． . [3 U* {5 |+ E* D3 [4 _& Y) ^影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） 7 m: C0 @, T/ S4 U5 [+ uHolmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） - x' |) ?/ p& I0 g4 HHolmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） , u. }/ j; c% e5 V7 W+ EHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.   N! E: x3 \9 D& ~+ Q; P: Z  ?0 u8 k- J2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 , j: C) z! R8 A2 e) W. i" e, lWatson: Permission to enter the armory. 3 s- @! Y. J1 D0 K; vHolmes: Granted. 3. / o1 Y2 K$ B- l  c4 p晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 2 B2 s# o2 ~, T4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） ' d4 k) T2 n% G6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） 1 n3 X& a2 Z) r% \Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.   C$ P# H9 p& O9 g9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 $ U% U$ |/ E2 t/ q' T* S  AHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） 7 E3 T/ _* f" LWatson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. / Q8 B5 d$ u9 {  D- N: i; J  LWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.   {2 R& ~, p1 o7 m路人警官Clarky上场。 " Z% W( Q+ |; \& l% r9 I" B! `Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. 3 y% l& k: q& }* D; |$ n% NHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 1 Z+ v# s8 [  q* uWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? ; C+ _% f. P1 M6 Z& \Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. . F. a* j* ]. h' w) d- \) w10. 7 K2 }: ]6 t# x; `, [墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. 7 v' ~6 U% d2 Q& Q5 S- Z! JWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 ; H( T! W- l4 d( |: @  q) ?Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） * O! g3 P$ ?9 ?  K/ ~5 L! N, S' ~3 V死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 " Y8 X: r( n4 e- t/ _, E  XHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） # c+ A7 T9 o& v: T8 n12． . @7 N; Y5 f! T. u7 Z9 Y& o7 A/ g警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 6 r5 I" f  D* j! kLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. . t4 P+ v  g- ~; b1 J6 e13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 0 ]9 ^3 j+ }- W) X; d: W3 m6 hHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） 1 w! @/ k4 Q8 f3 a5 E0 gWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） 5 r  \9 z! g! _) l$ c( o" \Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） # R3 g! t1 ?8 BHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） 2 A8 K- |/ ~' {" r2 |Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） ( V1 ?% t: l9 G! g8 x# e" U4 ?Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） ) o$ g. D2 T: M; A! x- h2 b5 DWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） . `! b; }2 t* L  o( z, JMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） , ?+ ~# P9 d4 ]2 H  y  C1 E, o*********** * o. X/ i" ]( \总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……