 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 ' p! F7 Z7 `# R
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5 c& m2 ^, ~* N1 a+ m影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 5 s& W$ B% s. c0 T0 ~( {/ l9 ?0 N
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
. I' E0 [3 d6 H h7 m @ U% V( }Holmes: I just picked it up.
3 [, c" L, e9 d( x/ a" H$ W! M0 tWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
g) Q; D' @$ m# ]- \: _$ gHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
! v: n3 f5 {$ o& dWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
7 d8 e ^$ ^% d, a! ], v- I: F: c) eHolmes: You did.
+ {+ t8 e: q d: m' ^! P9 _8 E(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) : a& `2 b& U1 J7 a0 X, l
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 3 G1 A* P& z3 i6 d3 G
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.9 ]* r' u, n2 H( o. Y4 w! `
Holmes: Granted.
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5 J# R# ]4 M- x/ e晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 ) p, Q0 I; |. N% i# b0 I
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 / W- r2 A# Z$ B! w3 W9 L/ O- w$ E3 L
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 ' `$ \8 t7 H& ]: a9 C( O
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 5 a1 }/ B, Q" I$ e4 u
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 ' _8 x2 T) F# f* |" p4 W% L
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4 {9 v2 D4 ~! \! ABlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 * K, o! N& Q* \( X J o, A
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0 R0 A* J. l! Q% [ O* r0 m* D% fIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 - j+ i: C$ U* O" E
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) : {! R& B, H2 ^6 w
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?6 ?1 m1 e5 F% z6 g1 T$ U4 E- ~
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) + y8 D# Y. w, K! X2 p+ V" _; H
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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0 r# s+ S" M k0 j/ B2 ?Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 2 v a/ {& T1 p' r1 A9 q4 Y) I
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 8 @- t" }) X% o7 B' S0 l8 h/ x N
Watson: Get that out of my face.
+ o9 F" n i9 z6 E$ l# gHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.. i/ e, ^, x' k( z. \
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.) V9 {4 a ?) L1 v" {4 U
路人警官 Clarky上场。 $ e: j# d5 K7 Z( U# R; ?/ t9 ?
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.2 f7 s( v3 q; M2 a; q! S
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
" c: v: Y3 a$ Y+ d得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
0 D0 i2 k& D/ a' }Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
2 T9 O) \; V! S0 MHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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. o, n1 h0 N9 r1 b墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
% ?7 m) @5 B( Q' P1 y8 S( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) ' b2 {& M. s+ m" F
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.+ d, h! j- l8 P# m. L' _! u
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) * _4 B" l1 B4 A1 [0 u- S* D$ L
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1 ?& h d( O! b0 I5 L$ t* R河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 1 M! b; [* q, [) {* s% b2 ?" B
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) # N7 T1 K8 J/ l% Q% I
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
; o7 S/ {2 R8 n3 G$ YWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
: I2 D; i' E7 ^* c, b% E死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 3 Z; h+ n- q6 F6 m! X# A" Q/ T
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
) o' `* l; l4 Z后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 1 f$ ]6 G7 n- h% Q, p. C8 M/ V
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 . r6 F" P9 i7 @: J% W
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.$ z. x6 T' D y3 T4 c E- k
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: v8 I& v+ z( r接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
2 {3 ]: y! A$ g. m5 Q" o话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 6 f2 R* H& V( N2 I K
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
, v# i Z4 h) d- D% h- pWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 6 n3 H2 ~6 E" L0 V2 f
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) : Q8 \& X5 Z6 ]- ]' e+ K- h5 L
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
9 E! U: |" v4 Y$ B. lWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
( W0 C4 P& f( ?- f: I4 bHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
, n+ \( U0 e9 Y! lWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
9 T( O' A% {* V: [& B0 e# a$ @Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) i: \8 h z1 b$ Q! h9 A( n
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
* `- [2 U3 M) _( i- ~# uMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
: W2 X' l3 Z( h$ H' H8 H( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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1 ^& g2 V7 z) s2 u4 b总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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