 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
" G/ y: y" ~/ e Q* nWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
5 B9 B( k9 X- k5 o5 j- x0 gHolmes: I just picked it up.
9 @. P1 F4 e X3 Q; Z1 w EWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
3 Y6 n" I( U' u. y4 H- uHolmes: Knew I forgot something./ c; p5 s* P4 Y9 s( W& R7 ~- t
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) * l& L0 o2 c6 Q9 j
Holmes: You did.
7 q# ?6 a3 N. I4 |+ b+ F$ ~(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
1 K- E% E1 g$ f/ S5 jHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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R7 T. C0 ?( ` @) @* n宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 & ^; `0 l( v1 z* r, C1 L- y
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.( E5 N% Y C q( g0 v1 R
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
+ O& J( O" r4 g2 v' v% vWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 ! i+ z3 `% l) z' r
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( E9 v D9 |4 NWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 9 A- A! J6 |( T: K7 K5 s6 d
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) % o" q# r9 M& C1 l9 r* h2 @
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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o+ o/ O# B/ ]1 E5 ]4 q- uBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 9 _/ V& z3 Y7 W7 x. J% v0 D9 T
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 0 p% a1 O5 [% j0 }: d
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?& q7 K. y, e% E7 z% b
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) / B5 r5 K5 S% E
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.2 { X% q6 I* }) d9 ^2 X1 C
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 ; h' R* h: x- }- [. ^
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
7 y. L; F2 F: i. M9 y) CWatson: Get that out of my face.
$ h6 z$ L* a6 n7 |+ J$ j7 iHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
. I( Y" }- I+ T6 C f+ ^( `9 c$ @Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
' Q" g- g! Z* I2 n' C# x- u# B路人警官 Clarky上场。
) J8 [( ~- m( jClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.. f" v( S) g# c. u
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
4 ^! h, G9 z0 u6 }6 E) c得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 0 j9 K7 F, e$ n# M" y9 ~, m
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?( \: W, z; K8 u/ P, r2 m
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.6 } i& w% M, E$ W$ s2 F/ e p$ ]# @
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6 V& H7 U" N: y6 x3 T3 s0 Q7 v墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
3 S9 ^6 g- F% Y1 K; U9 _( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
8 X- _$ j# M7 h! k( r" c6 qHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
# k: l/ u4 o M4 O/ M; UWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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0 M3 x6 |' M: K2 x+ S" i W5 [2 v0 R4 R河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 3 P& Z6 U$ S5 d
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
+ o, s: i- R8 _, T0 h) EBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
* F1 h" O* B/ N! t4 {5 M- m7 AWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
; i1 u2 ~5 D$ S4 S* o5 Y死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 + j4 L: U& U; ?; Q+ a
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) ! b# k) g, K/ K4 h
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
. S$ Q) N+ j% L" uHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) / ~9 Z- f# T8 n4 s) C
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 : {' g! K7 l3 [3 T. N y3 }
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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$ v4 b+ p5 W, _! U接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
; q& Q! V1 B+ C0 R话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 ! o" d Y7 v6 {9 C
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) : O; ?$ ~* t2 D3 H9 I
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
: Q2 u. `$ F3 FHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 8 |7 v! _- Y5 L- Y
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?9 ?/ q% A9 q; K* }3 P+ z: @& `
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
* t( a. @( u: v% e+ KHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) . g" L0 x# N, H( E
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 7 A2 D- A" n1 B- C6 K- B
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
+ O$ N. z, o% W) f" hWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
: j+ W1 a3 z* rMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
6 ~$ @! @ \" L D! J+ M+ ^( H7 r( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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