《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 ; j5 D4 A0 `& |2 Y*********** ( ]9 @$ b9 [+ k6 j& R4 v1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 3 g- z0 N& {7 Y7 x. l) jWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. 2 l; ~5 N& o! g5 HWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. " P9 L7 W) E+ Y; [. |; }Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. 9 A: p( t: }( R. }0 P: d, N# Y（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） 4 P( p" e: C0 H! P4 QHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． 6 X% C" V) s% T( P- e& F# A% d& ?; F宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. ! x3 Q( `% v+ T1 N$ _9 i( ^  L3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． 6 ?: o$ J9 J0 [7 {( f拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 : z, e1 C1 ]5 ?1 q1 N) e  W, W5． 8 M5 ~6 X6 j9 ~7 \; G  OWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） % i9 _" B) R& K3 D) @6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 ) t4 Y2 [% F/ Q（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? % I; v) T; f( }& |; ]' aHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. 5 Z: [+ {- i8 G2 ?( n/ VWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. # @  g0 v* H: n! Q1 B路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. + m. U4 ~. ]9 z! y& BHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 0 Z/ p0 r/ b% t$ h2 F9 y' t得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. & ?/ |* i1 _- _: C: \* l墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）   B; ?/ \7 N; m; m" T+ MHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。   r; s& b* P4 u, [Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） 7 c% h" a4 i% n/ mBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） * U# b2 `" z5 Q+ W死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． ; X" ^$ ?6 n0 a- Y" g警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 8 j8 _) s- E/ A% h. z' VLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. 4 N( ~! ^/ u( K3 ?8 R接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 $ [) C% ~$ ~" g- R' ^# Z话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 - ?, X' a) X4 R1 N# s  v2 E# s6 gHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） / |: T& [  J  O1 qHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） ! W9 q3 F+ U* ]7 N, m, w2 zMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） + M0 m5 |% Z# s( u7 w2 t/ BHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） 9 ?$ v/ o3 ?/ bWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） 2 Y7 v5 g0 h0 E/ d& r9 t- [8 y, }" WWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） ) {3 X/ z. A. U/ G4 M( {（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） & A2 ]) r% v1 W: a*********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……