《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 7 F: ^$ O* F) r. j! }*********** 2 }% t2 {7 u' [( U8 A' V; ^( `0 h1． 0 [# e7 k: G+ u4 D影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）   J/ C) Y" F$ M1 b9 @% \& e8 d( u5 OHolmes: Knew I forgot something. . r1 D& M7 ]( W0 [1 J! A9 W; ^Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. / D* `* m; D6 |2 {/ H3 O, c8 {# u  j（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） 4 N( _5 y1 C# K7 `Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 6 W- p+ O7 C# d0 e5 b2． 7 S% K2 T9 k+ ^4 G宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. ! _, _* w6 o  k5 G- s- XHolmes: Granted. 3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． 5 o% F2 |( r) E1 T! ]5 }1 G; L拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 ) Y+ ~! `4 M  mWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． 6 A1 U% p' K7 |6 QHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． # J' ?* I9 |  A" K/ \Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 ) }5 L- M# M# F' u( W（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. - j& P! f* [; b0 g9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 ! S0 s8 n* Q8 B2 {# d$ sHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） * H: u$ _+ ^( Z/ g" |Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. / \4 `' @! Q* b; Y8 EWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. + }$ F' I5 d7 [- mHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） & m/ A% |9 h1 t& R% S得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? ! B% \  [; x, [5 `; g8 J& ?Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. + Z1 D! Z" N0 I' d% \! @10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. ! F- d4 T  K3 yWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） $ `0 c; f! f& n/ b, f  M' W4 OBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… 3 Q, b# M/ O0 V9 V8 eWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 ; x: K, ~5 C' W5 ZHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） - N6 r4 L5 o/ v: Q- d后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． + ?) }- }/ q. f. `3 [7 z# g警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. : d4 H0 a" _: D- W0 c; Z: d13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 + o7 O$ f6 I) U0 ?8 J- z话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 4 x' A& `; R: sHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） - E  H# Q% y6 G+ \# X- \Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） + h$ w) D: m: n$ B% g1 j: f/ g/ yHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） ' B% x5 Q4 j% l& C1 PMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） 4 ~: r3 F- i) g7 }* P1 qHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） * t& z: N$ Q4 f2 Y: {5 tMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） & l+ ?1 D; \/ J( S（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……