《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 9 N: I) `  G+ J* A3 P*********** 1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） , [2 y- u' B4 }% K) Q9 YHolmes: Knew I forgot something. 2 x) Q  T. M% k* EWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. * o$ Z7 [* B& y$ A% S8 R! k（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2．   D, D* a# ^/ }6 \  S) k' v' `( b宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. ! Y1 K+ b) p7 C" ]. FHolmes: Granted. 2 W) t. U2 L9 S' i: Z  X3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． 0 S9 u3 }8 y) Z拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 6 h6 X& z: g) q5 @) p5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 8 ]7 `2 H  h# H  B0 @2 oWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． 6 S1 r, d; w* p- ABlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 # P% O  L/ e! h, s（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） 1 B; S5 A, h$ YIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） ; r! q1 Q! V* I4 FWatson: Get that out of my face. 9 W4 l' `; Y4 _8 `' Y# @/ `Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 9 x; x& X1 R/ x4 O2 o路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. 4 |$ B4 h4 a1 u* Y9 g' qHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 5 O/ V$ a7 W! n2 o, xWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? # V$ Y! @2 ~& t1 o0 ?Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 5 R$ {" m+ C. T9 g8 s$ K3 v墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. 1 g" m$ t0 N1 B, b4 HWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） $ v; H7 y$ W, a11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… 2 V# P$ ^4 n- O7 }1 o/ iWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 ( [+ d' L  v- `7 _5 dHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 4 J; m9 o) ^+ D; N: u" k12． / f7 L3 h/ F+ a! t警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 # n0 |" y3 r1 Y0 `Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 4 e% }" K. G5 ]8 |9 D话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 0 x9 a5 ?- d" ~, ~# G& gHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） ( \. P, k7 y+ X; I2 X# P/ g  }. t/ v7 kMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） 2 u# \, v# k" Y6 x1 P* @' OHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） & H. l0 }* b% Z7 mWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） 3 I; Q2 t8 G8 KWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……