 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 ) A0 U; P. n# _; p; W
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& ]4 x# n0 C: L8 [# W( ^影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 8 V* ~# }; X% ^4 s7 P
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) ) h; \9 R; k8 \; t4 R3 k* U6 d& @( a+ t
Holmes: I just picked it up." Y! p- Y, ], Z. @
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) ! h7 m' w5 H" Z0 S$ M% e
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
3 r# q! r6 G. C! z* Z( s5 D* MWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) 0 O! r) b, n- G9 B- E. p* Q6 ~
Holmes: You did.7 E3 R/ q i" K/ I1 p' _" U
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
5 G. \ K+ w* q" B( L( GHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.5 Z# K( k- W2 q# L
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 & B( _- V9 K: z" z
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.' y. i: ~2 }2 A
Holmes: Granted.( g# r0 _4 R# D5 \6 s& g7 H. K: a
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" m( `' o, l: j1 B! l! R# X晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 $ A9 q# v3 w% ~1 y ]( A% m
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 2 p9 @% N" V! @: a4 F y& s p* d% ]
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% U& O- q' `. `" s6 ]; w拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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, t! K8 V$ U0 o! pWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 8 Y7 v& [$ [* d6 O- |
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 9 [& t! x/ J7 \) A6 h
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. W" Q) a) L( P d, j/ ZHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 " Q, {7 g4 I6 Q( [6 H3 Q
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2 n* S0 U) Y* }% y g/ J+ i" A/ ^Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 ( s P2 C( b: b. q8 `; V
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 1 G2 Q9 {) D/ V) _1 i( j3 ~/ }
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) / Q8 L9 R. c6 o3 }- q0 ?; _
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?' F( N5 u7 u3 W* N* Y; L* D" |
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) . [8 i9 A0 _7 T9 m3 c6 M
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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; D1 \9 }0 C/ N" [* A, F/ B% o CIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 * u3 w1 i6 J9 U0 R- V
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) ! q" S! I- f, Y6 {1 S" I
Watson: Get that out of my face.
5 q/ i8 [& c. r/ I6 A, wHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
+ r; T+ D, C6 E, X1 P8 t% r3 ]Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. k& E6 k3 d' v' V: K$ D# S
路人警官 Clarky上场。
- t" D; b3 I- g5 S% E' oClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
8 D9 E: h: j+ f/ }5 ^9 mHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) U) S8 \% z& t; |
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
0 U! q; k' Q" B, J kWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?+ _0 q' {/ R5 v( m+ L
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not., O/ J7 Q* x! u4 k, Z$ e3 C8 j, D: ~
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" v5 d( J3 X1 t" l) V) `墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 + Q0 _& \+ h4 T+ u; m
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
4 @" g% N% C7 ZHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
4 X/ S, Q0 _8 e5 y* M* c, EWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
_& z$ B' O0 e. i# Q) N y Q9 c- n- j* pHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
/ f9 s- w9 C) p9 Y* hBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…2 m5 B' a' U" M7 W) w! N
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
! r6 d1 h1 q R4 F* u死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
+ y1 y. ?3 Y8 R' }+ iHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) ; h( r3 r0 l- Y9 n- a
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 5 S4 e9 _4 c0 ]- J, R1 X& Z
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) ) z$ j* m }% Z3 m$ _
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8 J# q+ x& W& E- w警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 - X2 b6 k% D2 J9 d8 a4 n0 W" p
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
0 \' L9 [ r! N话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
, ~, G2 Z' f! l& VHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 5 j, P5 e* i6 ^! G$ p1 C
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
( ~3 N; A2 X p1 C5 Y' A. k. a# f5 pHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) ( c7 f; p7 @* _
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
) a2 d6 {2 g( T( F9 S) BWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
; K& x6 Z5 T+ \. G$ @% yHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
+ z) C# ?4 _0 b, I- K8 V- v9 `2 cWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
8 i8 g- Q! T/ B9 s+ s7 ^+ T- LHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) ) [" Z/ d: ?$ f5 z
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) : F# L/ @1 p" ]6 N& m, x
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) # T" b! r' H9 U
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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4 c# \, m4 L9 ^ g9 ^总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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