 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
1 e4 _7 T8 N& J) `4 h/ wWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
' y0 f% P8 c. F# ~3 JHolmes: I just picked it up.
' ~4 y% g- s' C' C7 oWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
" @, D$ A/ M7 _3 ?Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
5 \! M, ?5 X* HWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
, ?' w& R5 {1 E% DHolmes: You did.) t+ P8 U3 O4 u. [* \+ j6 F
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) ' c7 K2 q# J8 g% t5 S `
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.) @/ g( I, O8 ]6 q0 _- `
2.
& O# D* q* ^/ X4 @! ?# i宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
- a2 x4 [. K* `& J7 {. x: j: p- k/ BWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
. \( P% X) I' A6 J6 \) b/ RHolmes: Granted.
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/ j7 n, o" x/ j8 F9 Y/ h晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 * }( `8 p: \5 a" A; Q. [) @4 Q
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 2 R6 I P: N/ N5 O
4.
0 t7 Z' _' @& S" C拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
^* c0 s! a' T& i6 [0 `Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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0 C6 `8 A1 a. @2 \$ s+ mBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
4 @ i9 I1 x5 L1 U' L. p" Q( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
* D) u; s d( G4 FIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
7 J% ~2 a7 k$ c' Z( LHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
' {& W) Q! H; [$ B' h1 DIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
2 m7 o+ q7 k. t& dHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 7 v6 U0 X6 ?2 @
Watson: Get that out of my face.3 H* _7 h v5 H, \3 ~% d$ f
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand." _, X! c& [( ~7 ~
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.2 v/ `7 {9 a7 A) l6 a
路人警官 Clarky上场。 4 s- H2 C; _! D m* V6 G2 @: e
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
* E% ~# h8 x6 I( e0 m4 Z) I( NHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
& x% _2 h w! l! C% J+ c得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
$ c2 E1 C4 y; n- B: {6 d9 ^) ~" OWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
: A1 z; J& q+ H# s! GHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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& V( o: {+ V$ C: q' y- M3 L墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 9 `, |! ]4 c# y% m$ I" j" X
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
( ~2 ]7 |( _. VHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
& w( U2 h: K: T% R7 u( s9 uWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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% }( b9 u5 f; R1 G3 X9 \7 X k河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
0 a. o/ |0 Q' |3 U- m V, M& nHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
, @$ B! X# u- z6 h% W9 q: `7 OBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
0 T" w5 E: g' |9 \2 w( Z9 a" g; KWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
/ ]* X+ |) i- n. E: E- j7 X死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 & L+ f2 W0 d5 G# X/ A6 U
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
* r, E1 o# T$ e4 V6 r) c后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 - ^3 z% D" M" R5 V% m; f! ]
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 8 B2 u6 O5 y; J3 a. B) S7 ~
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing., A2 a; _/ O8 F0 h; _
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 $ z r: l) u. L6 z1 n4 U+ j
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
" u* h' L9 Q/ v- w9 q' F! u, xHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) . A. p3 K* m4 h
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) ' Q; \# q" t8 V) ~1 ?% i/ c+ L
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 0 d9 Q% G, T1 f X, k5 V3 k
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
! K6 M3 `7 e; `8 B' Z. lWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) $ m/ x% t' q1 ]- E, z
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) ; U* z r, B t/ X; X, @7 M
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
1 T w) Z& H' g/ jHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
$ p$ u4 r# d- m0 c# kWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) + `: L- P! x: S& Y
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
. X" a% B2 v$ |( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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