《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** 1． 4 G! T+ M: c  }: @% ^; S7 e5 B影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. ) `& I1 M* x4 B, L9 A6 [- e& y) R) JWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） - g( j! U. o0 L: f7 pHolmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） " A+ U8 P/ \1 Q  jHolmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 5 ]0 v6 V+ s* d2 j, w2． ( Z9 Q% f: L5 f' ^5 J宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. / o4 W. P7 c. h; t0 T1 W3 HHolmes: Granted. 3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） : ?* l3 g: L& H* r) R4． , P+ i7 y/ S! V拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 4 v' s9 I9 T, y$ f! O1 F  j5． . n/ g$ |/ q. F" \) c2 BWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 . s  F: m7 @7 t6 j. f9 {+ uWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 5 q* U9 i8 r2 O, _4 r+ o5 ?6． . j6 h. `2 ^! c4 ?; O4 wHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 * B3 o% M2 J2 q+ b2 B7 {7 E7． 6 y$ W/ M% }7 TBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） * m2 \) h2 i3 D4 k% h5 vIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） 8 z* f9 f1 b6 [0 a& n5 k) i9 E8 W4 z2 uIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. , H3 r/ j3 J6 I- y4 P& Y6 NHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. 9 z  T. w! s# G. I  l6 i: OWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 ; ^. u" f- r& `  @: U+ e: WClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. ' w3 z, {7 @9 uHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） : V0 n! y, d3 J" c8 m9 D2 \  M得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. % _. g. S2 [; AWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 6 S7 N$ }0 N* }! K11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 & q2 ~- j+ K* w: V# h: w. OHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… ) `" n0 W! E6 ]9 ?8 N) Z( kWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） / G% J' y; O" J+ j0 C后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． 4 M6 f5 N6 m% t8 {5 a4 h  B) b警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 / g9 a' m9 X6 L. m/ lLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. 5 T* i/ o  U0 x& f- Q8 k接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 " d2 N) k" |+ a( Y7 A% @, h+ H1 W话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） 7 d6 E9 s( }8 h( S/ [Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） - Q1 t$ j0 G/ [2 k: o! hMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） + f" ]. _/ u9 J9 a3 R" B5 L) ^Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） 9 t7 u8 z/ C3 O, E' FHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） : X+ _- o2 j5 N# M（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） & I9 L+ W$ p9 f- R7 \) o" ~+ w*********** ( D5 ]1 C( `1 O- x" R总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……