 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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, \ p( V: x- z7 j3 q& Z' o影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 : E( N" r. ?3 {" T
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) - I) [* C6 l/ e
Holmes: I just picked it up.% a/ y0 p- o% A% q0 x/ F, ^. z
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
9 l' I7 ^" r! [0 H) ^Holmes: Knew I forgot something.' E5 \# `/ \1 \* a+ }( _* s
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) 5 ?; E& {3 t1 l9 D7 Z
Holmes: You did.+ b! J) q, `9 T* I# K& @, c
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
- m; b5 w, B {4 iHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.# g4 N7 p G6 C/ u( W' Y* W9 }# v. q
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
; _5 Q6 O8 _) B; F0 ]+ WWatson: Permission to enter the armory.: {; M, \+ |5 y
Holmes: Granted.' s2 O0 ^1 s0 n# s2 f
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5 P0 O2 g7 \ K晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 ( T H/ I- n2 D+ _5 ^, s/ m/ Q
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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9 o s, i f" h6 ?6 [0 U拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 ' d5 p3 [( u3 p1 S. z5 M2 _
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
7 @, }' N. C$ @9 qWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 8 b6 s% G0 b- d
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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- m& _0 J3 F6 \3 p& KIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 . d+ j9 P- t$ W: a- `
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 2 R% H! T6 W# j6 x% K7 o
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
- Q" U. z; e g6 n9 H/ THolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
8 b6 Q# s1 T4 x& h0 SIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.% E) P: M) ~, |6 ]& z9 r/ a5 W' a
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
. d* q: R/ X" a: m# q$ |5 AHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 5 \* S7 `3 n4 q2 T
Watson: Get that out of my face.
8 r, e9 S4 P9 l' x* x6 r9 }* T* K5 v- gHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
5 q( O" X. E9 a! OWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.$ L4 U7 K) A% u4 V% G* F2 e" L( A' r
路人警官 Clarky上场。 4 L; |) v p2 S/ ]3 L; N7 m
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.$ Q9 i( i0 S( Q3 L7 K2 Y: t
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) % o/ {+ A0 m& L1 V# m ?7 @& }6 Y; y! B
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 - g, `- B4 X% {
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
$ ?8 U* r- ?: d. {8 tHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.) o6 `- J, X" p( w
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8 `$ J! [: r3 `" n0 [- y墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 x7 L9 S: N6 t; U& @. \
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) - W* d+ A* i3 h% e- c7 r" }+ q
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.( {2 J$ i1 w& F+ r8 \0 l
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) + P: N2 I; w. B, n2 t
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 - Q$ |+ X- e5 O
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) $ _5 M0 z9 v+ Y9 o8 l7 x. B
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…9 g2 F; @9 q$ P! S
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
2 m+ `! _. e! }; i5 l死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 . K8 N" z' P; o
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) % i1 C7 {, Z4 F+ H4 W
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
! S- Y4 Q/ [* O: qHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 2 Y; \$ M' | u4 n/ @; h
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 : i" [; u$ ] q
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.0 Q( y- E" P" N/ j
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
& u7 x# p3 I* F5 i' `话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 8 g) A- M o: O& c% ~
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) : L1 |# D. a: F
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) $ t- Z4 e0 |# s/ f' p
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
2 d6 m- R, @1 hMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
! V* V4 w0 q; Q d) ^Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) ! i7 b2 }+ ?3 ^0 Q% O
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
5 `$ W2 I! C6 _1 W8 gWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) , T2 c' ?- V3 B* A: e p- a
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
% x- M1 i4 ` C k: ~" GWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
& f6 s9 Y$ N" j( s& ~- k& xMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) " e; Z; O8 s( G) o$ V5 h4 h8 b
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) - ?6 z' D# X5 e5 [
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5 \8 o( m; q+ F& x; R$ G$ d$ |总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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