《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 # z% A' M% w) L4 U/ |# k. ?*********** 7 v! q" T( e9 a, U* N. ]( Z1． 2 e2 v0 O2 M: v! ~影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） 4 N- [/ |5 J+ U1 c- S2 v0 tHolmes: I just picked it up. 8 Z. W8 r) d$ b$ T/ T5 E* PWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. ) k$ y2 t. E& M1 Q) o（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） 6 g9 }, D* o7 j  ^( c3 ^  b; u" y8 x# xHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． & Z8 z0 f+ ?. V% w宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. " c1 |( C$ z. mHolmes: Granted. 3. 6 n( W9 r2 Q% [4 Z& V" ^5 @晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 : ~% p; {0 B5 h8 }Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 0 e7 S# }# P% j( v% ~( @  @3 _4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 0 E; }. r2 O  l) A8 C5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 8 j* ?2 Z3 o" V0 G' o9 s* dWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。   V8 z; m$ w! f- r- }# n- f6 H0 D8． ' T& S, v! E; u6 x$ r6 cIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 4 i0 ?9 {) B/ o$ }（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? ! \/ n/ q6 F8 `Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 8 P8 P6 m. N; b9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） 3 v4 D/ T. n. f8 {( F) OWatson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. $ \/ q! v% ~- J/ ?1 ~Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 ! A2 n* u  B# ]1 e- o; b" N( l- JClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 # d" Q; M( k& X  ]3 f& H! JWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 5 k* y" t% I* d$ B% z3 f, ~10. 7 p# I  k  \# Z# \! x, m墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 8 k# I9 L0 U, c3 ~5 M6 E（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） ) \  L# o: D  P* eHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） ; q( V1 f+ V! U1 V11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 - d6 J: g* D% K9 F8 U# I8 F3 uHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） 9 {) }; ]7 b" P# oBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… : z2 d2 V7 t6 [Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 ; ~% R6 I4 V5 B1 yHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 9 z; q/ `! c6 Q后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. # X7 T, N4 A: j2 E接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） 8 u, Z- h5 v- Y) M- |% lWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） & x9 ~/ \- o4 K4 S# B; s1 H/ oMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? % x* L* K& R! T+ }8 ^/ C% V3 Y( W" BWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） % u0 O5 R  e0 P. n; K7 SHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） 4 d5 y3 e5 I  z6 F9 l3 nHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） 6 T/ }" w2 v4 q* I（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……