《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 " M# d) l/ A8 G. Y- y- _***********   K, `6 m6 {6 Z: X& A1． & J, ^' i5 N2 g, V( I影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 . X% X! ~5 L7 n# hWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） ) V9 Z8 P( G. ~Holmes: You did. $ Q1 ~( t! \2 G/ ^（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） ) {/ U! C: L/ K2 `Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2 H  h& Y5 Y9 J8 O0 x9 U2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 % \- ^9 w5 B; y+ p/ ^Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. 4 ~# q( k( v4 l9 z3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． ( D( G( `4 V4 E拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 3 ~: e5 e$ H4 |# c8 z5 Q; \' z5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 % C/ Q& n! g3 T2 D  M+ M4 eWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． " A  j9 H) p9 x$ M' Y9 q" eHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 & I  e' t5 \  I9 u3 |- b+ t0 Z7． - `, k- P, H  S* O/ HBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 2 b4 Y' `! o2 ^4 H. p; ?9 K8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? & u  J  n2 d% Q" n$ dHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） 7 r* Y1 l' `  S# {Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. % P, R7 u0 W8 I# @3 EHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 7 t( c7 W5 v! ?: b& d8 I; HClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） ) {) H' m! U* a得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 9 X% y% {' s& H6 G/ n/ {Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 - E3 U* \4 l! T2 Q! z（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） , t! J" c# V* L7 G% AHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. 8 z3 ~" u8 I' v9 g1 aWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． ) l8 u# s4 j' @  E5 {/ o( p$ m河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） . P( D3 X; d. X死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） . J# v6 E( q) C7 m+ k后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 1 v& p( L) |/ f1 _% Q4 VHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 1 [9 J+ w% {1 B1 ?. M% {- }* J12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 8 ^  ~! [7 L- _; qLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 9 d) p4 h( y% k& a4 x+ {6 ^13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） * T$ q8 |1 i( |: t) n& m4 O; DMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? 7 P" A  H3 U2 e$ |  c1 j  U. A9 c0 TWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） 4 y% t0 P! c3 o% E2 }5 |  f0 AHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） # x8 S" i% |8 q0 M% }( A& |6 yWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） 1 Z* n9 o; w8 t' q' qWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……