 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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& O" q' [1 [: ~) ]0 E3 }& p& p( \影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
7 { l: l9 a# i" vWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
! g) c' S% }1 T [) S5 `% _4 {( gHolmes: I just picked it up.
4 B U) d) _$ S' K# WWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) - [! N/ d* J2 r& t# Z
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.7 o- Y% }2 k9 l1 U/ a
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) ) `$ t+ F: f% E0 k- P9 K9 g
Holmes: You did.& e8 X7 d; o) Q( t0 h; n$ N
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) ) r x: T( X" I9 b) i/ t
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.7 y5 c# z, c" M
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5 d9 M; g- N8 x+ t/ m& g( m8 t宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 . ]! c N# n; \# u
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.( a- |% G- ^' x
Holmes: Granted.2 Y8 k: v, n5 l
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
+ N9 {6 n0 X9 o: ^3 Y H9 W) b- v! l8 RWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 9 a) P/ D8 M2 x+ q6 j: h
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5 ]! U! k; o+ f4 I. k0 v4 z: C2 I' s拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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$ h5 q _% Y% f/ R; [Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 2 O0 z1 H- ~+ Q8 o; E# a
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 4 K/ T! f2 n X7 p
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 ' X4 C9 S% d& }* L- J2 r$ d3 K
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 9 V8 E: F2 }6 @( {
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
0 y; F* h+ I# g" j' n( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) : \9 Q/ F. j1 N$ c6 I( y" @% L4 E6 Q
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
9 y `( ], d5 g/ gHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) ) n% A: J1 i8 W, e
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
V4 ^# y8 x: Z; z/ r- pHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
+ o2 T& Y: C2 H# S& k i6 tWatson: Get that out of my face.
7 m# X) a* u* a6 q% xHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.: n2 x( B1 ?6 Y- v1 z
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.2 u! z5 L/ F- F0 |# K) }* |
路人警官 Clarky上场。
; K. c/ b1 _" u* IClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.! ?7 U, [$ V: {
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) # s- K# z9 z/ L' r# o1 @& ?3 k6 v+ N
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 * r0 i% \; v- ~. U: S; H, J
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
: E2 C) j. S$ n# E* r/ c/ o5 l. dHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.& w* ]! j- c1 @8 W
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; \9 M& ~/ k v1 o墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 9 y; E. `5 \6 Q4 n/ M0 y
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) ; ~' I" O* n1 |
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
( B) c: n3 K1 w- q$ b% F S! XWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 ! q' ?( F* J4 g1 d1 g" j
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 0 H+ b* A! H) W9 o2 @* G0 @' b
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…3 W( ~7 B: B3 }+ o. Y+ W, x
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) / d) f& Z; [' x) V0 v3 u
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
2 n$ H4 G4 Q& E7 sHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
! @& M5 p6 l6 D, V; t/ [后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
( Y: E3 r( b1 B% E4 VHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) ) I: Y {4 H4 l! s, H' W9 F, L
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5 Q- n' x X+ m5 _警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
; f" F6 B- |5 B8 _Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
/ c* L* Y- ~; J h! j# y l u话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
) G# Z; t# z J" z+ \6 wHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
- |0 Z' n" y- Y3 l+ lWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) + [. E4 }; b# C
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
; C) ?: j" J+ X* K7 ], |9 AMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? |/ s. K2 V! G+ @+ q9 I5 z
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) ], U" ^4 F1 A& N* `
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) ! B) F; |, o( `& C8 T; ~
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) ) @- d: N0 k/ q5 C& q
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) / y3 K) W B7 O% O/ X6 s0 |- I
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) . E) |' i; o1 i/ m% s# L6 Q& U4 b
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
8 u) L& z1 R7 B) d0 _5 d( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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