《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** + ]+ ?" S: T! D1． ; N1 [! r5 t+ _& \# z" x( m" j- Y4 n影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） 5 J; C" o0 T3 \- q5 CHolmes: Knew I forgot something. $ u! {. a! h+ w- Q4 x1 F' U; \/ UWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） 8 O/ r* G" j/ M: HHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. ' M1 ?1 t$ Y! P! ^* {2． ' F6 k( P% U3 y7 C4 ], c宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. % ?7 f0 o0 Y$ K3 c9 rHolmes: Granted. 3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 # [7 ]6 Z; a: ]Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） / O! x! u8 \, K  {" s4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 ! E) _) f. f4 f: m, ~3 Z+ |Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 8 @- H7 E  ?2 w; e' u6． . v+ S1 O5 n& E* KHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 ( ^2 q- P6 V. @2 g7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． * \4 r7 E% C& G$ B1 }1 J5 yIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） ( y7 s0 A: c" t7 X& z) TIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. " M3 A" G: [4 @% \9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 ) P' W* |8 Q# bHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） - }6 l/ }$ \/ \6 i& T+ q0 jWatson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. % Z, z2 i2 b$ x: iHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 8 K  M0 v# I4 b6 N" K3 w/ ?得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 7 Q  g8 f2 x6 l2 y; c( y$ N# ZWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. ; M+ S1 X$ d( l: W: y+ ^墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 8 P+ v- V6 k1 @1 f; f4 A9 t（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） 2 m2 G( S7 x/ XHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. , W% Y1 ~6 e# rWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 - S  F2 D+ h  B2 S4 ?. _9 KHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 2 g9 E1 E, K8 l9 a- H5 W. k6 C后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。   F9 \$ s7 Y3 \7 E& D* B8 g1 L# E5 gHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． 5 q. G/ |. b" F: z" f% F* C8 P/ A警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 $ V8 ~$ G8 N3 N0 zLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. + j7 y+ u- @7 W$ u6 Q接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 4 }7 _! H# V. T- z话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） ' t/ C# S4 ?2 u7 X: {" T4 _1 {Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? & M1 d5 X* `# R7 q6 JWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） . Q; l: G  O# O2 QWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） 2 o( b0 j' r: dMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） * U+ z* r8 |1 o* u6 W6 G0 Q*********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……