 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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4 L# `' ^: Q8 E% x影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 1 d4 w; y: p7 l4 q7 A7 X" e. ?
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) $ O3 e+ |( m/ C0 ]3 P
Holmes: I just picked it up.5 {9 \4 c0 w) B
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) + a6 W' n' a% X8 m
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
( T: E( L+ \4 \. R; ZWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) $ r x0 O; f3 Z; b6 _" e
Holmes: You did.
: S/ p) N! J/ Y" c3 x* q1 q+ P(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
3 J& {, y8 w- vHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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( c* z8 q0 g+ ~宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 - N6 V6 z- S ?7 ] _0 K
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
% p$ C$ P% F3 V( THolmes: Granted.
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, N+ q; ^) d+ s. h9 p晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 7 f: \- G3 a6 S" W7 p3 L0 Y/ S) k
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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, x: W# G3 q7 q7 ~/ c拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 8 g1 z, A8 b- p: g* l7 a
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
* K8 u& w( u& V+ n+ e! ?! w5 S/ JWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) # } j! i: K p8 Y
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/ r* H& L+ m9 DHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 + v2 u! n9 @; S- v4 y. P
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- J' H! O7 p- bBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 4 z) ~. ^. Z J J
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! Q/ s+ M# Z3 [( VIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 7 ]1 J7 z+ q: o' I( ~8 X. q
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 7 n) B7 L( o! v1 m
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?0 t2 H/ |( E3 N8 G9 [" N& O
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) ]2 Y6 o% {+ F$ q3 J9 r; m
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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; p: C- d2 u- XIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 ' Q; Z( q( I- |# H" @
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
1 i# H4 g% N2 n1 Y5 TWatson: Get that out of my face.9 [( k. Z' V# P
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
9 e6 \' s( P9 ?3 uWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
3 P1 w* i h/ h" {路人警官 Clarky上场。
, [7 q" ^' @# @: mClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
; D$ f5 V8 j% OHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
. ?0 |& o% c" w N得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
; F$ _4 b3 D; X5 vWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?: y$ @9 D, Z+ a1 @0 {
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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( Y2 l. Z# w5 U( i: w2 e' c墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 5 p/ A+ I/ n$ T. |0 G- u4 z
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
) ?; U# I# n3 v. l; HHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
]8 C5 `! \9 j9 S% `# o$ k: WWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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& P. p P1 K( E8 s河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
+ C/ O+ N, J0 e9 e# W, r) NHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
+ j+ H8 [3 N ^* `3 o! f' _Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
$ o! L! A# {0 X6 r+ pWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
; p9 D) c% w/ `死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 3 g2 F4 Z1 q) D. y# J
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
/ e" g7 I! S' K: S) v) G7 Y$ D后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
* j$ G- b( `" q- b! @9 QHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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% d" p$ `: Q+ S7 v3 O1 d7 F警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 1 K3 S% H$ Z$ l7 W0 F$ O3 t- S
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.) e3 [, k5 m: E7 E
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
4 ?; Y+ k6 \2 `5 B8 D2 \4 m话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 ! X$ Q0 ~7 y. M: H0 f' u5 X9 ]* n
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 1 ?# i" Y! U+ B' b+ X
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) ) V2 p9 j. Q. H' Q- M) D' s9 L* l
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
; y! h2 c- T) x* I0 h/ `Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?: n) I' z% W! Z" Y, ?# Q- {, S# H
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) & Q' ]" u6 Z) V' F1 S3 m
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 6 E7 x2 Y* l2 @
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) $ Q+ _/ p6 c( v& t7 I
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
, o( `# z5 p! _6 ?Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
, ?8 c1 _) e! D# `Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
4 _, S& |, [- a* g( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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