 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 3 |; m% F. V# ]& y
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
# [7 j' J4 O+ f2 k$ y; i5 BWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) 6 [8 f" k, ~, }& ~' U- a& ^/ w
Holmes: I just picked it up.
* W# `6 C1 u% @' {9 D- X7 OWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
V+ [+ }* g9 jHolmes: Knew I forgot something.6 [1 |/ _1 j* ?: e
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) 9 ], ~4 e- m) y% d0 A
Holmes: You did.) x7 e9 `2 y! t3 e9 P6 I0 i
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
, s2 a6 c; X8 q N/ P9 XHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
_0 F9 |( Z* i) @$ mWatson: Permission to enter the armory.: O8 b2 F6 P8 {
Holmes: Granted.
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6 m6 h9 n$ z- `" k: }晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 - N" P, G1 M$ i) ~/ R
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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2 d( [9 X, l/ L" i3 U* F: o' k拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 + x8 m7 R8 ~% ?4 ^6 I
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
: e1 _2 b+ a/ K8 P- C( c* b3 jWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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+ B% b0 a2 j. v. d. iHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 # R; |2 ?0 O% g
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; k" g9 {* `( nBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 $ b1 o4 s. ?+ @# `. X$ ^
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& ^" Y5 d- z+ E- y3 d& IIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 $ n4 o7 B- C0 r$ J4 D. S
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) : e9 w4 G; ~' d, u
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
2 o" E7 [" e% p. m8 cHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 3 t* o. J. t; w( `' B
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.5 U( U9 d$ ?' ?; E
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' { P, d, y+ t* w! K6 ~' m; l8 Z4 {Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
( ~# h: r" U8 p! D' T0 k4 _2 tHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 9 A, X" t+ x- `
Watson: Get that out of my face.
$ K7 U4 H; T/ a% wHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
0 z! b9 K9 N! V8 X* D& ZWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
9 }. q) x- n( X) U路人警官 Clarky上场。
( @" U1 X& J4 Z; {( z7 JClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
6 Z; |1 }8 a0 Y, A6 {Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
5 M" w( w. B1 @+ W得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 ( S8 Z: c+ G- D2 N' ~% p
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
! g2 w { v7 D% ?! E# T5 E; a' YHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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6 N% v: _9 {9 c( d9 f墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 3 b1 o9 t, e7 P# |0 ~; |
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) - |+ r" N& _# T6 e9 L2 i
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.' N T) |- I9 M
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 |# B7 W" P, R, t5 B) c/ Y& U v3 c# d( n
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
) o3 [9 E; f, \5 L1 R6 I1 ^% i' bBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…* y% K- e9 M1 C, k! q# U' v4 R4 u
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
% }! ~/ o; S" E- A7 X, `8 c死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 ) S2 u1 }1 c, B8 l* I
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
' I1 Y3 s) }% f3 v% I# y( H% Z后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 ) P, Q7 P- H) f. C* M
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 7 T3 W( s' F, ?' Z
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 3 T) z6 q7 S1 P+ ?
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.: m$ n3 v2 y0 |5 x G
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
7 d$ V5 T0 g+ c+ a话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
# Y5 Q8 C, X; _+ U$ v' z& ~7 d% oHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) % X# b; p' B3 w3 d
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
7 Z' i' k" E: s3 |: p# zHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
P- W- }5 _' |% A1 h+ HMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
. W; O8 q5 m7 y) V nWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) ) N" ]6 y# M' @, {. O9 _
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) # r) n+ z. B" Z. m
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
# `3 Q L0 M& @Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) $ F3 Q0 y9 U8 z$ z1 @- m
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) 9 ~5 O+ y( ~1 D
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
9 U; g. t6 v J1 V( u( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) , m9 P8 @& u9 Z; J3 E" J
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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