 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 0 h( W3 t9 b/ p$ K1 C; h
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) 2 I2 g+ U* H B4 e3 p
Holmes: I just picked it up.
& P: H* a$ [% h$ i& x5 R3 |4 lWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) ( \" J& R5 A& M$ q7 k
Holmes: Knew I forgot something. r( _( H6 Q6 L* E( p, [
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) 1 r# `0 F6 D) y6 G% K6 M* w A4 Y- _
Holmes: You did.
5 v8 C# J! t- Y" C! ^(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
! b5 {1 Q, i3 Z/ VHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.$ u) s9 J, t9 R$ v
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 & C, h0 p" M5 y' D& }
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.' w e' [: V( e' t. Y" q
Holmes: Granted.
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- p- _& o' B/ w+ A6 O& M晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
. H- T$ ^+ Y, z- ?$ K0 TWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 & n) ]0 z; P9 O& N, a$ h
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 9 x" E+ K- e0 q+ y e
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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. a* Y( {6 Z* J( M1 U0 uBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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: `% C7 k3 ^) [' fIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 4 f+ t/ J. E) A
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 8 n$ H: H8 Y" F( ]
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?/ V) k4 L+ [8 q* f
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
9 K5 V! M( a. ]1 ZIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.1 D. @9 o7 z3 w, j- C, U1 f
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
& p( g E: t/ d3 I: }7 j5 n7 \4 s) vHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) ( E& y+ Z2 T! a- E
Watson: Get that out of my face.$ x$ q: i2 ^3 R1 l. U3 N) N) F1 A
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.7 X9 [: ]6 s* }9 ~% v
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
3 R, z0 T2 c% [, C C路人警官 Clarky上场。 N8 J, E- J3 K9 j4 T
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
. y* S1 E B& h4 x- p. j- K( QHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
5 L9 _1 H: b; p! a得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
( U4 g& J3 X7 s* i# VWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
. y, X0 ~- f: z- s' b" p( {Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
) _1 S7 s* z8 y0 X8 C W5 q4 Z7 s( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) $ D0 S# [+ f: [0 m7 u. u: J# M/ a# c* q
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.& V5 D& ^0 m& H2 r0 ~. a& l
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) ; L0 j8 x5 s2 W" a# L. F! L
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
5 f1 c! U( ]/ e! }' R# R4 n3 `, @Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
* s. ^: l$ K: ^# @4 O4 [9 j2 \Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…$ \: h7 q2 h) f" X C& V
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
. O+ v* p* [! {4 U5 I死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
9 [" b6 w5 o- z: g6 {4 VHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) $ w- |& ^9 ]" _4 ~8 E2 G
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
1 {' d W& q' b9 l5 ]% JHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) ^9 W) A6 z( \& a' [8 y) V
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
4 M2 g- l: U3 l- |$ ~' \% fLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 8 {1 x4 I! g6 a; T. r# F2 h
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 6 J' \# O5 D: Q9 }0 v# ]. `# J# {
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
- f5 r4 f6 _" z+ Q) X! L2 eWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
9 ~7 @! ^$ z* fHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
9 d2 E! b) h: ZMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?8 J) P5 F6 T0 ?) {( M0 P
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) 8 ~7 U, H4 u) W' J3 ]% p6 q
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
# z" Z& V/ X8 oWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 8 {# N3 Y4 e1 q4 L- R' |
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
6 P! ]7 Z5 w7 j7 n* lWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
/ }) V* A* t1 ?; i# ZMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
" m2 t+ W D9 u8 f" Q$ G( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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0 y- Z. q* s* Q9 B S( h总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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