 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 5 _1 @8 t* ?$ G
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
2 m& I9 E0 M# K- F _ JHolmes: I just picked it up.
" A& R+ O0 @0 H: Q) V0 _3 LWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) : e- F0 p2 s4 x2 o3 \ a
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
0 Z& ]5 j7 x7 L! D( H- cWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
- |. R: e+ z: l5 p7 T7 Q: ZHolmes: You did.
2 s" C+ `% W$ y7 @(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) 0 I/ S$ D2 X4 y& w
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.8 T- O% Y. g( T: |
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 3 {2 Q0 f0 ?& w. c2 o* d2 S- _; c
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.0 ]6 A6 p* V A
Holmes: Granted.6 O4 H' f( |2 m/ p
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
0 \ H0 O! I5 k1 E" F8 @2 BWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) % E2 }) K3 U! |1 e; @
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( G+ U9 {0 V3 g$ M! F3 _" A# A拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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, y" D1 K0 w1 t) H( FWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
6 M: X6 C- B/ `% oWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 1 [2 W* Y* V' s
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 . p+ e( T h Z" ?7 g
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 & ]: B. f) q& S6 k. f
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3 h/ G& e8 e2 m. ^, }' y1 z" u- l9 [Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 3 \& W% x8 z+ r3 n. ^% s
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
`& t+ S$ C. Q9 R5 g8 MIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
8 l3 _: y$ y! Q1 wHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
3 O6 v) x4 |* cIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
& m" r+ C" w" u) LHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) , Q6 p3 `2 J% @: H
Watson: Get that out of my face.: D" M$ H ^; y6 c7 {2 b
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.7 c! h# w) S/ j i5 H# `
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
7 V& X4 r8 |# K C6 O( c路人警官 Clarky上场。
7 z. G& K u6 P, U. u! k6 Q' vClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
3 D5 F/ J$ s/ U& HHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) $ `7 ^- t3 z" \3 g1 q
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 1 i4 H3 b" C+ K# [/ B. |4 ]
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?: Z' i0 X2 l! [$ v8 Z g
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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, }3 x' Y N& G! ?2 H墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
3 W- i( R5 H5 m( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 3 B+ e1 T6 \; [2 R9 {, y+ Q
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
7 G! @1 c+ }8 J; wWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) 4 i9 }1 c8 B8 s+ C
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
4 f8 o% v) d. _$ zHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
3 p5 N* w+ R- n2 kBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…# p5 Q* A$ S( B2 L+ ?( y
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
5 w( \7 z- w0 @8 |3 u死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
; z; x& y' @$ c2 P1 [. wHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) - g! v2 _. w6 h+ [5 n
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
/ |' I0 s6 _2 W0 l' MHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 1 u+ {1 G: j- Z, I) y; h
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 3 b1 L5 X5 D' W: j4 ]
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 - {- G3 K& y* k7 m, a; y
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) , o0 \9 }0 b; P+ x3 A! X" e& S
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
9 v# m9 P* D- g: B8 N. uHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) . C/ z% [& {3 k2 E' V/ `7 C( p* z
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?. A$ y6 `2 P. \1 h' f) s+ v' o/ ]
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) . _$ A& o( e3 d8 @
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) ' o% O5 v: b' K. ^
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) & v) N) t8 T% [
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) , d& Z$ D% h' o* `( d
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) 1 h: i7 Z( H, w3 }- z S( R$ M
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
, V& Q* E% e, G. m/ \$ r4 ?) u( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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