《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 & m$ V3 [* f$ a9 J! B) b*********** ( f  P1 d! R1 a8 x& M! T' i( `( o) e1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） / J+ y2 T! r- p0 ]3 w( F: dHolmes: I just picked it up. ! o- ^9 V4 `$ _$ @9 I) T0 O; UWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. " k1 R9 L+ q+ Q' K6 i9 C5 A& r$ e2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 % `, v4 C1 h9 u) D0 m2 fWatson: Permission to enter the armory. 2 M- G) P" a, L+ G; tHolmes: Granted. 3. + w# D2 i/ z, ^- h- D: f晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 , S6 l3 j* n. `( QWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 3 Q6 d, l. X9 g% B4． 1 V- c: b  v+ \% b. t拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． 1 K3 B/ f3 D" h: H+ J2 d* ?# P2 eWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 0 k# m( L5 M" @1 M8 u* [9 O# W6．   j7 f! i9 j( PHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 ( X) Q; o/ E8 n% D7． ) J  Q9 H/ q0 z3 cBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． 7 R) D0 x/ r4 T& d# KIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） " Q( x! Z$ i1 P9 H! R* KIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? , r3 m- k6 X. c; R( \& Y: RHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） 1 s" U2 `+ P  W% z* cWatson: Get that out of my face. $ k9 |) _6 @7 M3 x' S) }Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. " _: n0 y, {; V* F# HWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. / M' B* U& E* }! R! t& y- v4 \) ^路人警官Clarky上场。 4 u8 d( R2 w, [5 z* gClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 4 M6 y) G/ z: z0 h- u10. # B+ z. x8 K8 c0 T7 X墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） . R  Q% T: b# V# X' b11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 . ~: L  Y5 K- I' ~7 P- ]Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） ' _& G6 K4 R/ a& o/ i; ]后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 2 D! j7 i5 V- F% W% P12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. : P# p$ t* Z3 @9 G# c13. . q1 \) ]- L9 n% D/ j1 s4 [接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） $ z+ K5 F4 \6 l! y, g0 |) BHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） ) f% D) y0 e  U) bWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） $ E" n" s* j! L+ LWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） . p, i: M+ Y; M: h7 S. I! vMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）   Q" b- K* F+ o% q（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） ! b9 G( R7 z! X+ f1 a4 G7 v7 R6 h*********** ( v+ j9 I1 `8 G6 o* A+ ?总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……