 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
! X! `3 w# H9 o1 a( GWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) 4 Q8 X) x; L7 f) D8 X
Holmes: I just picked it up.
) {6 l% Y% C5 {5 \7 m. vWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
3 {3 P3 a/ A% ^1 j6 a/ dHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
$ ?% _, D" ?6 |. u: Q KWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) 0 j( f: `" j8 O7 E
Holmes: You did.
& g B) I" O1 A; t. q/ m& x(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) " Y, C4 W5 m* L0 t
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.8 k+ ^; J% L. m) T; u4 p8 d1 t
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 . `; Q' O- {0 t+ }, O- Z: J
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.+ J4 K+ n: M" E) O5 {" P
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 ' N5 J8 t5 ]& F0 y) B
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) $ q, S3 b' @) g& h E: @! M
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
u+ h( A+ q c8 t: AWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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n/ ]6 [) w, w0 _5 J1 \$ oBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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' ?/ R1 v6 S, J3 pIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 : [# P1 a8 V( a0 m, M
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
5 T8 D6 R8 j4 Y; E3 K: y WIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?1 v; K5 B9 t1 X& G0 V
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 3 m7 A& M' }( q
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.9 h/ n) x$ N+ w, C
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# Q0 u. h% q) n" J3 Q+ ^Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
& w3 j0 [/ F! `- L! Q* YHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) & v- U K. M+ _$ i
Watson: Get that out of my face.
3 s4 l6 Q4 M0 j- }# g; X) RHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
* w& _; \0 T: k4 m2 MWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.. N# \, }3 e6 J. K
路人警官 Clarky上场。 - {, Q, ~* h1 h+ H( u% M3 ?
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
9 _2 ]; m! u" QHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
2 A% b0 q0 m: M3 t$ Q# c得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 ( K3 M+ s$ c0 S3 p0 t: {) W
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
' F# M* Q' O7 ?, P) |; UHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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3 g$ X2 t& M( D5 O2 W墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 ' T+ c. v+ C1 @
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
5 Q. d" ^0 q( ~Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.! v2 F# I& l9 N; p" V5 O; n1 h' q
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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( v" i7 e& c) i6 Q' ^7 d河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 0 L: r$ V* r, Q1 A- i, X& l
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
9 k/ u7 X: u- i& O: D8 [Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…1 R; [0 W7 q0 L# |, @# {0 e
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) , `. {5 p4 F- W$ H! Q ` E, E+ o
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 & n0 J0 @6 }0 i; H0 S2 N8 K( d3 z
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
" W9 ]6 I: w% H e$ |后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 2 c% w* Q4 h& P/ U" |2 c
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) . G2 N- r! i; i' `8 _
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; b( w" P& s3 ~警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
* w! g3 l1 i* B) w1 [4 D4 KLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.. A- L+ _# `. |+ |& w
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 2 ^4 Z5 j* W9 O1 P9 }1 P
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
6 b* P1 S* S+ ]* Z) a ?0 w7 Y5 VHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 2 c( Z* O0 X& E y& g
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
: ^4 Z& C5 c% a7 G: A0 k" c* B1 ZHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
+ i- ?! f- a0 p1 ~ f9 P7 mMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?8 l& Z# Q1 T, W; G7 i
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) ) M& o! ~/ Q" z& ]- F# L& a; K3 M( H
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
, H2 U, J7 _' K5 {' ?. O7 t( uWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) , }8 N: [ t& J5 q
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
3 w# |1 C Q1 @& L) F1 a3 M( OWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) # z/ \* H/ `) |! o2 B/ j" z, c2 E
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) + a9 X- a& E2 k9 s4 [3 k/ Z+ j/ v
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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