 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 - u+ i% r5 c8 i) T
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
) S) ~" b8 j1 D- L3 n4 q" _( \Holmes: I just picked it up.
" H# s! b2 i0 V7 n8 U; }Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
+ _3 c, M: d8 v" BHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
" A- G4 r; P: rWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
- [4 Y" f! D6 B; D: x( EHolmes: You did.
- |2 r/ K% P2 `(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
" R" k9 j/ G, s9 wHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.) M: d) ^/ M! N9 B c
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' S, n& o z7 M t+ Z宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 . `* V/ L% m- t
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.0 @% H- d! v2 a4 B: k0 @ p0 ?7 M
Holmes: Granted.
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4 |" ]$ e5 d1 `9 c晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
3 h: E7 n( f: Z9 y8 mWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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( L8 @' y# \3 _5 H7 h: S1 @3 `3 KWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
# U& K9 d9 L3 b- F- a0 oWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) $ K3 i5 D1 N" C4 [1 p
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- A, W5 @# I& _- C6 ?/ f! JHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 & F- c" Z0 [! U! r p% c* S
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) " H- S. X F6 o( B; l
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?& {) H0 p* g# j% x4 }; y
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 9 h; o$ q3 z/ Y$ D# d7 W
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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! s/ S. R: X+ @3 k+ m3 H. J4 |Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
# ~9 c4 z) ?" GHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
, ^' P# ?. I6 o3 X6 f9 v/ U0 kWatson: Get that out of my face.
2 b2 Z# F' S: z* k+ k2 p5 {Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
6 Q6 ~" g* o& ~" q. w: nWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.- m) F5 [7 A6 u6 r. Q7 P8 e
路人警官 Clarky上场。
0 j8 Q( j$ ~" q" YClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.6 L6 A2 B9 i4 w' L+ @6 D! [
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
: i, y2 E- A. o v* s得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
$ z4 ~! |0 w4 K& F* ?Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
' v# ~9 ]% p* D# l C! J* jHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.) a: b6 d# U& K% X0 f. Y1 O" w
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
$ p0 u. @4 d6 e& B" z( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
3 O; r% k) ]" i, D4 mHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.3 m8 m& _# O1 `/ ]2 A" n! e
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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6 A5 d& Y5 V& x4 R( P& [河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 ' r* G: ^# S0 E. ~
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
0 A1 G/ O' F4 B: I6 C" |! z5 L9 [Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
# L9 u; B/ v; \- oWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) - K% y; [( O+ w. V5 I1 z1 G. z
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 % y) u: g4 g- t4 k* `* X% G
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
5 t+ D) H: v3 t$ U8 v9 Y. ~后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
5 c9 Y$ w& z$ k3 dHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
% Y3 u/ f1 b; U. FLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
! H/ @8 e* X# X0 `话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 0 C# C3 X3 V! O4 z& r
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
8 ]% w2 N: ~' ]( ^3 a4 l; \Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
4 n% o2 f# @6 I9 w9 L2 f' u. NHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) ' G( u# p& `& Y- u- r0 t
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
3 Q8 |2 u% `+ @- t, fWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) ! p8 `* B, X1 x9 F1 G3 Z
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
) n3 h( ^. q5 W: [( j/ Q: `- oWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
& e" N+ o; S% BHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
# |* C- }# R- c. H2 C2 lWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) # ~, L) o' E* m
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
) J" u8 w$ G9 ]6 u' k0 G) \( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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