 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 ! g2 n) X7 y! U% M
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
9 ]" @! P9 \( t* R9 A8 M6 \7 ]Holmes: I just picked it up.- Q. {# e) w# ?: C+ q0 c
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) % L5 u9 q/ X K+ O% P* o# I$ D
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.7 \2 T2 K8 {& H; g0 r2 x: O
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) . c% n! f6 o. b3 C% V2 N
Holmes: You did./ V+ O, a. q# ]- T7 Y( I3 U
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) % w* R6 {" ~$ f! d2 E
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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) b) ^6 {& R. l+ ~宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 # V F: F( n% G8 Z5 X
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
3 }9 s) q8 A7 F N5 M" S# QHolmes: Granted.8 c+ R. T6 T" ?. z: p1 g
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! p! f7 @8 p3 D6 |晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 # F5 |7 `. I6 ~3 ?' Z V$ z0 Q
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 5 ^9 m) g @- O9 b
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" k4 r& a4 |3 ~+ W8 ^( X拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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6 W/ _4 e" T: b8 T( f/ rWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 8 S4 E; g" {/ u/ i- e6 o7 F
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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) |% p7 U6 M3 A0 R0 ZHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 " d& y* D2 R* Y, h# [
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
9 {$ R6 C I& N- q( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) b- P G9 s" B
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
8 K d0 q2 C8 G2 @8 dHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) : ~( d. Y3 _5 I8 y& M5 s9 C
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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! ?4 ~/ y% [/ [4 y/ j4 P2 k2 E DIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
+ h% B& \4 ]& c& RHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) % U! _9 b! H6 m0 u3 P7 ]) ^" K
Watson: Get that out of my face.1 g, q6 _2 E; x0 C* [0 x" h
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.6 u/ ~6 ~4 Z3 O' M4 _9 {+ P( ~: g% h
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.2 s2 `3 V, A' s$ d g- w# S
路人警官 Clarky上场。 ; i3 t+ B% u3 ~1 j) S" h& C
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
9 ^+ [3 x: c2 b1 b8 K, G% Z/ v0 BHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) $ g' D* B/ I X9 l5 o- R7 h$ X' J
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
; X4 q- L" d# Z- }0 X2 NWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? I/ [5 ^8 P1 [, n4 I' \9 \
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. Z h* n# ]+ n' |; y
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" K0 R8 M6 X. m3 |, y墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 " \2 }" X7 K- T8 p n
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
2 k. k) B' }6 NHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely., G0 R) G$ e4 s" }) i, |! p, {
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) " R$ f* `% ^7 Q2 O/ j
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) A- n: b) f5 j8 l河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 - [& r6 Y. \" E2 C( Z4 D
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 6 J8 ]" b) ]8 q: H- y8 @
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
3 w- s4 w$ y5 ~7 U. M( w$ QWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
% m. n/ s9 k3 U) Q. o5 Y死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
4 V0 N# _7 u& G7 @( n* ZHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
* D7 B1 w; }4 C7 F# [( B后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 * v$ d; l( ~4 t! b* Y9 D
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 # X% g5 }' v) _: A% `9 F; r. X
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing." B2 t; N" t' U& f& N9 F( k
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 7 \2 H0 |" J+ y- e1 N4 G' D
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
Y: Q9 b6 h4 |Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) , c+ V& k. i0 {
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
/ ~9 {$ u+ Q2 F7 }' THolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
# d6 ]& X n1 ?/ d' t$ yMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?6 z$ {& s* q4 d' ^9 n& V3 n
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
: s5 ~9 O' v" U* WHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) ( i. }* r, n7 X8 Q; z; w/ F. Z' a
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
; g( N0 a9 T, {# g8 BHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
+ S: A# K; S3 a- D x5 G3 RWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) ! ?1 U, C; c6 d0 _" g, V
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) $ Q" F4 x! l; y; V+ S
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) * X! Z9 m" m, Y& l! X
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7 k/ h# z1 @ l% ^总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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