 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 5 w5 i9 d9 r& a; k% M$ F3 J- y: }
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( c4 p t! A7 ]& N' d3 ~# @影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
2 e! d; u. \# yWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
X+ i6 s3 S& F9 H9 {- b. ~Holmes: I just picked it up.
3 O t2 L) `: ^9 e% [Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) 1 C( u8 P- @) h+ F/ ^, W
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.8 `4 H5 `1 v( W; b9 Z: q4 v
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) 6 m' j* k6 l& b J
Holmes: You did.
6 z' u4 W8 e7 Y' T5 T3 t) K(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
! D# l0 ?: }. ?, l4 C7 _Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.1 [4 F o. u: O9 W4 d3 E
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 + G% o* O& E! c2 B% U
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
0 n9 { \2 @% K: Z; {' y3 JHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 $ l; n6 v3 N+ [, b
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 * w; G5 B) j, U0 z, d. p" F
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 ' _: ~: f, O) x) T5 k7 s
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 3 t0 a6 c! k0 K3 b
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 ! ^6 e7 I. n0 ?$ z
8.
( ]" D9 y) f' P- p( m8 W! B4 pIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 9 V* G3 D" o' Z- D1 { A: t
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
: d8 p+ p% O% f* {$ K: Z! ^Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?6 k9 f9 Y( m" R
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) $ L( `* z7 t$ g/ K$ c
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 # l% D/ v7 b/ h: u6 d
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 3 ?0 t. D& Y% e- t2 |2 R$ p' _ m1 N
Watson: Get that out of my face.
% ~4 y( k7 M; K; NHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
& |4 K4 `4 I0 [$ h! c- H* \Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.5 G) H3 Z5 w% W, @) U! a
路人警官 Clarky上场。
/ u" o% H" h7 WClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
; m9 {3 ^+ a8 c8 |Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
9 [" W9 L0 b$ K% U: B, }得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 " ]: N4 F- z# b# n/ w
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?- |/ N4 W( ]& W8 |/ x4 |0 |# m" R+ o
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not., V7 z) v8 P$ \# z
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
, f8 O. O) }( h* @3 t8 p4 H( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 4 c" O3 j* Q' w, o W4 N( P
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.4 {& p4 K0 \9 u2 t4 K* N
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 * R7 a/ g+ U, ]! x5 w9 ^
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
) ]+ D# ^+ M. f# KBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
3 C! d/ l6 U; XWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
, a( T! M |. H. m" V死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 - @% k5 G. @" |" c" ]
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) " s+ J, h ?% K( F! ^
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
0 `- S/ [# Y' {6 U& }) C( vHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 U# ^+ ?: ~5 D
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.3 [# S+ h( y, v1 _* n8 j7 j3 j
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" {! Z( d: G# M) U- G+ ^接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
" \# c& ]- K5 U3 z2 N话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 $ r$ ~. A4 ^+ G5 B( r; F& q
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 0 `4 Z; |& v8 Z% X
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 5 b, @8 D3 }" M
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) # p* `* Z6 b6 F( h
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
( [$ q7 m) n8 i" k" ]2 z) ~# HWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) : y8 U3 c5 C, S6 B! P
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
6 q8 H, V" Z y# b! s. C) ]1 SWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
. G$ g( D- W7 ?0 M% bHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) Q6 l4 Y. [9 n2 h: p$ J
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) ! Y" D R4 f5 {5 n5 K
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
3 R$ K1 d+ [4 }4 k/ f$ R4 Y( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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