 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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1 @, w$ s+ V" d; I影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
$ T5 I. t1 ]6 c7 I* g& _. `/ h- }% [Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) ' \7 q' ?1 y* m& X) ^' Q
Holmes: I just picked it up., ~0 Q/ d( p D
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
8 z" M/ O, m: T% e$ m9 J+ E9 y" |Holmes: Knew I forgot something.& ?" _$ ^8 q/ s& p
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) ) M D M2 h; b
Holmes: You did.
7 O% g1 }6 `( G, F! y(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) $ g: s' C/ L1 R: A6 c5 ` g
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.4 M: d; H6 s$ O* t" W7 C" }$ `
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9 K% t& p' r. L# H: ?宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
& R5 d" f8 E$ K5 O# ]; R' rWatson: Permission to enter the armory.* X3 C4 o; I; Y9 G
Holmes: Granted.
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% B% x6 ~4 J8 x晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
* L. {: N% b* J, ]; b! aWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 % p/ L9 G3 _: }( ^2 X+ e/ X
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 9 k- U4 [5 r5 w
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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4 T0 k! j. |, g+ F ]2 bIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
! W. c" v' \4 f0 i- q( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
% L z/ x. z- i& y/ eIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?5 Q9 P2 f S$ g3 r1 B2 M5 n
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) % f3 T5 Z/ C( s+ v7 l% K
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.: _: H8 c$ N8 X o
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
/ i- L% f$ d! M4 ~Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
: {& ~; Q( m" m0 h QWatson: Get that out of my face.; o2 q! G4 l, |' W4 u& y" [
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.2 o! U! p6 ^& m. ]4 _4 u5 `7 Y9 u
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.2 X e3 i. `3 \( w C5 z& o& J% @
路人警官 Clarky上场。
7 W8 E& o o4 C$ |Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
: g7 I/ ?* O- M. v' Q# X) N6 ]% ?, hHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
. m- s$ w. S1 h得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 ! M. h% \ t$ j
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
5 ?% v+ I: n0 qHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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& x; H0 e0 Q+ w$ e1 Q* ~$ c墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 " E P& l. k% H; [
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
, w9 T- C' Z7 m* M& \1 LHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
. v+ Y* P1 _0 i) I# {" R6 q7 L# ^Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 ! N; i3 a5 c) _! Z. W8 d' H
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
! `: X Q1 z( n" P% ABlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…/ C' p8 a! P g+ k
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 3 Z( S) P4 b- J/ Z' P
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 % c# G% T/ F I/ ]
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) 1 `! D' \: y( N- V$ o( S: N: c2 y9 l
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
. U( m: Z2 n6 FHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) + o* O9 N; v6 a
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
, L6 k% e9 R: q; Y* j' ~Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 5 R6 n" ^4 O1 B( ]
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 3 y+ _% w2 P2 N0 f3 \
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
! e5 Y3 Q: R. @Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
! u+ l# d+ c3 a% ?. m# R6 H% JHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
% Y. x3 ~, P! o9 X# w/ sMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?1 D, N# e$ i! H
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
% A' J ~1 ~' F$ mHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
! _$ O; a3 S( w( ?. lWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 1 D P& Z0 u; x# |6 a3 B8 t
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) / w6 n* ]3 Z) T+ w) ~7 X: {
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
. \8 M$ S5 P+ \" ~Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) . d( V. I# M% M( ~
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) ; i* |) _, O$ @4 s3 r; {1 m, k- s
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$ Q% \6 F/ @, Z: O+ U+ d p& L总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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