《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 3 H4 t  Y" ?/ e*********** 1． & I7 q. g# A$ R" H7 w% a9 i影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） - ~9 p( S) E9 @9 b+ ^7 AHolmes: Knew I forgot something. / S- R: w6 z5 rWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） ; a; X9 l# _) M! V3 u2 sHolmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） - A; \# L3 x8 e7 Z/ R/ l, jHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 4 j# {5 ?4 I6 O$ S- q/ v( o2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. ! X! o  h/ i0 A" \3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 0 I3 g: a4 u  ]' P- C$ `8 N3 dWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． . ^; s: O) y# ]4 K- `拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 / C' }" n+ b8 b7 }# |' x5． 1 D7 D+ x( [3 U+ PWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． ( M& F: s  m0 M5 Q# pBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 + P7 ]" K! d6 `7 X: f$ G0 l8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） 0 d; d& Q" C5 P( [. kIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． / l% i. }8 E0 dIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. ' R, X3 m/ ^) z/ nHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 0 }, f* V) k1 p  C5 zClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） . t/ Z& N7 ?1 X! [: c6 p得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? + Q. N8 `. K+ m. s$ T: C8 R# P6 hHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） , F; X6 S) j' Y" `0 j0 E# T. j  dHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） , ~8 Y: {9 O! a6 K11． . y0 `# _0 G3 \9 d( c河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） # L+ A# V; z3 j  v5 |5 zBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 2 f6 x7 n+ _* ?4 M5 \0 [7 K死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 5 `7 K: p4 V- C% ?Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 6 p# R: g6 l, {2 l12． ; F$ ]) x/ o. ?% D9 E% o1 k  X0 T警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 6 z: x9 T2 l' E, \Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.   L' B1 v. b* y/ A13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 ' ^9 Y9 k2 |6 v. |! f话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） & r1 g8 r, i; z* _$ eHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） - X% x5 x% Q. O' P# \Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） 2 t$ _2 D" C  o: s! z6 xMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） $ a* K% D& \( Y; G1 u& G*********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……