《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 & w: O& t/ m$ A. }2 G*********** 5 z5 _1 s) D2 t1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） 8 j& |, f) \2 w( g9 jHolmes: I just picked it up. 9 |- Z3 y  ^9 N: L1 ^+ |% aWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） ) T$ j+ f3 W$ K9 l. THolmes: Knew I forgot something. 6 _/ H! E5 [3 r8 f. ?4 S  }Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） 7 Y% s5 P% ~; z% r. G5 J% o/ HHolmes: You did. 1 x& Q( M! ~/ g  k& F（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） ' c. \* Y" \; D6 R  D4 wHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 6 R- Y5 M  [3 `# W- j/ S2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 5 Y* [1 j: g6 Z8 l2 J+ JWatson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. 3. % d4 c- C9 P" {8 }晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 9 `9 v5 J8 b  N5 [& u% t8 p4． " l- {0 V7 a9 k. G! j8 o! z- `5 R4 d拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． 7 f) @  v: p' @& I. n& ~Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 2 v6 L! Q( g2 ^* z1 K0 IWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） ' y8 V+ o; v4 J$ s( X+ i6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 " q, q# d& n2 f+ N# `- b8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） 5 ^- g0 w" O# w4 i0 T, z7 n1 bIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? 1 M, A9 P$ l8 N. b8 w# gHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. " ^# j7 h& N- [; e! p3 ?9． ' m9 X0 }# k# b6 MIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 8 X  S4 O6 e/ P; H1 {0 |Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. $ K% H4 `# n6 A  mWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 8 I2 R7 y& X' u7 `0 K2 m2 F" ]' s8 Y10. * ?( |' x# R$ V0 {% N墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） 2 |, H  b" e4 I3 p) @Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） + a( D6 N6 y% E4 z3 T& N% z  \0 A11． 3 u1 D1 W* {( V/ y河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 % I  H4 M9 P, Q% WHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） 2 q( C2 `3 r/ K) XBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 9 P$ O) Q% t' o2 O6 ^/ N( [Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） + D0 C5 }# i  O, j4 v% Z% j后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 $ L8 F7 @& K- o* J) VHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． ' K" B' }! \1 L, ?' E* R警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. , Q- N- W2 O6 Y, e) S2 e* i8 g接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 : s, K' W) n9 G# u8 J话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 + |) S; g& Z* e; s; a9 @Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） ' _! E8 R7 c( z) NWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） % i! E! P$ s" v- kMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? ) A* E: t5 X8 ?0 x; q) iWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） 2 U- \6 g" u9 F( v+ Y1 kWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） 7 g: V1 c0 ~& L. mMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） - A4 j: F: Q9 ]2 T2 x（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……