 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
4 u) @" v7 j9 U0 }+ ?Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
: J/ Y, f; y$ ^! [# a% g5 F' `; o1 k9 FHolmes: I just picked it up.
+ Y* j8 \& \+ M/ DWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
, ], e! y1 r! I( ?Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
+ W* z" W/ ^: E* c) _7 C. i5 LWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) # D/ M+ ~1 P6 Q# S
Holmes: You did.! i$ ^) f# d: L1 v3 v2 c
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) ; O0 P1 `9 C! z7 ?; |/ s4 l3 ~- z
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.4 X$ _) F1 b! ?, \, f% E4 K0 f
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 ) M' u8 c: l' J* B, X' H
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.9 k: J; x/ I1 r4 ~+ p* r1 _2 r
Holmes: Granted.* B1 t6 r7 q! N9 U, |$ C7 _4 G0 O
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. i; z2 g% c1 j \: j晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 - f6 }( T. d3 ] [3 [
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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i5 i) a% h4 x5 B& S拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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7 ^* M& X) j4 ^1 gWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
3 Y+ C" \" I' R! M) NWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) + B: K2 V6 Y: v. v
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 ' Q0 D/ w _9 X: ~
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9 h# B% P* p5 g1 _$ W- gBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 % ?9 B1 P+ d& \
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 6 K" |; _3 j+ O
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
% v U6 E, }, gIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
7 h; [0 H2 q0 zHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) . b) s8 ]* e* a9 F6 v# _9 }
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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4 G0 U/ |9 P- Z8 r1 \- h' FIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
5 p+ R" q4 z3 y4 d) qHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 8 Z% f C+ V! {1 m3 x
Watson: Get that out of my face.
. g2 L& G; Y% b' f! wHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.$ r( |6 Z# a. n$ }: g o2 J# i9 j
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
; h4 L) [, x; P- Q/ b路人警官 Clarky上场。
! W: ]7 L' J# o! lClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.7 o9 h ~5 H5 N5 V6 Z% P
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
) o0 W7 ~9 O7 b: l3 i- L* p得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
2 G) Y% d( `: ^Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?" ^* w3 g1 o: K$ W8 r
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 v( R4 O. ~8 B ~4 Y' }
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
1 g5 ^2 E5 z! B* q: MHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
, D! @3 A& @' |4 A7 v* vWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) }. D' v: v2 y2 q1 N- y6 X( @' V
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- m" g" w# P* q8 _& s. T$ r河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 ) n; B7 m, x# `* `' _
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
: t: r. P* V, L, q3 A* dBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
, k3 G4 b, O8 m2 x! C, R* VWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
, X; R4 }& E0 \6 G% l3 Z5 ^死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
8 V1 I3 }9 `# Z% u8 m8 rHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
- P" J3 D; h, _9 Q后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 # Q+ H7 z' R3 G+ b: g6 i3 a
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 7 _. }/ M8 t; c- E9 I
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.% ]% L- x( C% x, q
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
H3 C/ M! p3 ^! m: n话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 7 b( p! G+ ^3 H, U$ L2 u+ c- ^" k
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
. G+ R& ^" C0 n! Y6 fWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) * I" X ]% R7 F6 j6 g! o
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
8 Z! ~" S; a( L9 Q; }Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
* b! Y% ~5 T" D s4 _* @) oWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
; G, r6 r$ [6 F* J3 HHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
2 \" v6 B* G1 e' aWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
9 Y' s y J2 l# fHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
, |' a. `/ v) ~0 L1 B9 t0 aWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) & G2 a2 T! i! H. J0 ?! V
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
$ r! Q3 B k3 [- b8 C5 y( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) `5 w: F1 L! L& I% B
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/ D G% D5 [) P总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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