《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 ! N. N! n6 d' e) ?. b*********** 6 W3 |0 Z" ~' _2 g& f1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 9 j9 t+ o% P1 A8 m9 G1 ^0 dWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） " s# U* ?0 M, X7 A2 oHolmes: I just picked it up. : s# y- N# V, ]8 k1 _Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. 0 T% x, M8 a+ {7 N. d: IWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） - A) g) {+ S& W: L+ v# yHolmes: You did. " P- @3 U7 x: k5 w. D（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. 3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） $ {% `) o+ O( m4． " z2 a  }+ Q  q7 @, h0 b5 Z+ Y拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 7 w* F1 ^7 l% K( V$ X  X$ WWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 3 k( ]% [& X# K3 G% m4 m6． ) G8 T" {; d: P4 _Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 $ _  T# c3 Y- u& U; W8 b7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 4 Y- d$ c% F" P! T, J2 u, t2 V8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） $ H; e5 Q, Z' z" ~" ^$ V+ P) y& X( \- \Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? 3 o. C& e4 k3 Y( }Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. ; Y6 `% c% I5 U  u6 m: N% `- n/ S, L9． # _$ C  B1 M7 }: n- R. s# YIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. 1 H5 N( v( {$ Z* g" f) \Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. - [  v) ^" I3 X8 r; _Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 / B9 k" B6 A& s. S6 V7 H! ~! aClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. " C: w; U, L) [( ^Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） - ^3 Q$ g# n  p得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 7 l' D( {. H" j& R1 a8 CWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. $ M. ?' H. B) Q2 I6 |3 @10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 1 r* V0 [) M6 [# v) z% p- A. d; x（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） - \* F4 S$ a& H  C7 NHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 8 @' K7 g7 ?# j# B" J& m2 D/ oHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 & A) B; E" f; \0 A3 CHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） - K2 Y3 _/ n. W- Q12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. & Q" F4 Q. i6 q( K( Y1 ]13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 . @; f' b0 j( g3 bHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）   x$ j. O$ z) F  T% ]9 ]* Y& }3 q2 {Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） ) f, x2 D) Y. R% o( T  m" QMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） - a: H) o$ _; F; E  J) PWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）   c$ R; _' O! ^. ?Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** - q7 W1 @1 a* r0 T; U2 V+ ~* Q总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……