 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 $ Z: o( N! c+ S* c c
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 ' G" g$ t% [1 u, X+ E! x; c
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) * c2 U! g. i' L- G
Holmes: I just picked it up.$ s9 F8 I/ Z# x9 }' g* r! z
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
0 V0 e6 R+ i$ ^Holmes: Knew I forgot something.* ?5 S; |& j4 |' K$ ~& e
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) 5 f. T4 ]$ W; W
Holmes: You did.
/ k. `% B' k2 {: x# ?( L0 C' x/ ](注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
4 K) }2 W. Q" p: @3 T6 jHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
, j7 J. T# p1 n& f6 lWatson: Permission to enter the armory.' d% ^ a5 Z7 D( w$ f
Holmes: Granted.( j+ d2 W. X; h- p- A
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, K# n* w5 F5 f2 p) [晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 ! Z" R; q6 a1 C6 W
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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' R& q& F* O( s6 D拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 % J$ }2 p2 g& a7 D
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h/ e. T7 X5 ?Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 ( S7 R9 Z: u( y& B
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
1 R+ y, F) Z0 ]- t# V0 i( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) ( G) G" r2 y) p
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?: s7 S4 u }% @3 H, S1 W& n
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 5 J7 |" k, j9 V) R6 g0 t
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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- q! s8 m7 }8 v$ T- N5 g: M( pIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 % v/ [# b4 U e' t
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
^+ _5 n) s: X% y0 x! YWatson: Get that out of my face.
8 X f5 l: W% h* B* l# BHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
0 |! k3 w& L0 |! h8 y" a6 xWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
1 z' ~: }; T. W3 U8 [. J+ I/ i b路人警官 Clarky上场。
9 i) K; T# ?6 c" F* Z% ^Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.+ G5 x4 h9 M/ v* v
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
& F' y! z3 u! z# b& K0 I4 u得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 2 U" _/ a6 X8 H: k
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
, I& p* }4 I, rHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 9 c. c/ h+ e- e2 P) E) R
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
0 R& T# Z7 z" b" ^% K4 B) GHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.# T% V( }0 G8 B' G
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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K) |/ O) \( O0 y* X河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 5 ?: N! }" a0 k7 ]- A. a. p: B
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
$ K! ~' E: Q8 b! z- @5 }Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
; F) L: Y* a% g, mWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) : F$ G3 [8 f2 U: W% U
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 ' {$ P* E8 F% C7 ~
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) $ L% s2 B& B9 w8 I
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 ) m* H( f1 O+ f4 j
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 " J$ Q) ^* n$ K/ B; w$ o$ x
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.6 i2 G) S2 t! E3 ?) s: M
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- v, ~+ x# i9 S4 y. m0 i, ?3 U接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
3 A2 `4 ~! L+ I话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
' w( R4 L) `3 pHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) ( \/ h% {2 [) D1 i" G& a, p1 k
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 3 R% |. {0 E5 y3 X# a- U
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) : K( T6 B6 I+ `7 P: \6 k
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
# v: }: E+ j3 x' @Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) , A: }+ c- [9 l& R" n
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) % K5 N- N( n- ]) Y9 Q- g6 \& T
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) ' [, r4 s' N4 z: c0 y' i
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) " G5 Y: R3 [& V" ]
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) 6 G; \2 C& `2 G; ? u u1 V( d
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
! T/ c- R8 p# q7 @ H/ P' }+ Q" \* C( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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* |" a t( A o( r( O总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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