 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
5 X# v V: j: l" a2 vWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) * j$ I7 z7 w" B- f) B" n3 H* {2 M( |
Holmes: I just picked it up.
7 }6 s* d1 ~( K8 W! T, h! HWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) 5 |3 Q$ q+ s* j( N3 W4 U4 ~
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
( U* d! ~4 |) x. OWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) / C, g" T) L6 L5 M) p8 ?
Holmes: You did.
- g5 I1 B" M+ j2 A$ ](注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) ; }3 ]0 P @/ f4 @% {$ [- b0 {
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 ; g$ l8 @9 N; v. t1 i' ]/ Z
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.3 I9 s+ c% x3 M: @- B' m) T
Holmes: Granted.* C+ `* I+ f7 u- J
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 . p! o9 }+ h' [' L J/ G9 w! o2 `
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 7 M0 ]' E. y+ g
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- ^4 d+ M& t( n0 d2 u) PWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
6 ?' k: B' W( E' TWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) / l8 Y) g# Y. p$ l' ?
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$ r* j* I) f( U* v- A5 ^: u% m1 Y fHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 * ~+ Y: F `' V, r
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 % X/ o4 p3 B2 L7 q- Y% Q
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
1 v( r8 ]& d0 m9 f- d4 zIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
, B+ M) |+ ?- Z }Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) * p1 V J! p' @7 @( c3 L
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.$ k0 V+ }; p+ ]2 |
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
+ x+ q' n. u# H c& O+ z' GHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 2 m4 Z% x2 _, ~5 b( f% C3 M# A$ d
Watson: Get that out of my face./ r. b2 z+ F! ]
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
0 \/ q1 }' v g$ D! K' i3 m; ?" }Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
- U7 o/ p8 Y1 w路人警官 Clarky上场。
6 v# f9 ?- h3 q; R# G8 c; ZClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
/ k) _7 h8 F1 G# N [Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) R# D% }9 q2 h N: M$ g. N
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
4 Q) n& f9 N2 X9 b& {Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?' v" I7 p% x' T! c* s$ I/ c; T
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.+ z+ [$ V+ u, @ e; z/ B* H% A7 _$ j
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! ]' K! k1 E. w- @9 u, i墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 2 R [: Y% s( v$ y) ^1 ~
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
, ?' H2 S/ T- bHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.0 b& U* U! ^0 C. O
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) 8 I" I7 Y# t) V" z
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
3 x& Y+ `* @& k! Z+ @Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
4 T, O0 n" A" h- NBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…1 [' x! S' q" L9 L6 D5 ]' M
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
* z: N4 X6 r1 R: k5 |死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
9 [: C3 B! b( ?% b( N, \# O7 G PHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) 1 s# w: s( N4 n$ H
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 . v% Z) J* b, F* j# _5 y; Y
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 4 z ~8 h3 G9 f) M3 b" {+ d
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 3 A1 u- a7 m) h
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 F7 v5 P& ?/ z3 K9 m
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
{3 G8 s# L% s, ~0 c0 C9 ^Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) ' C E' l( S7 B, `1 Z4 K
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 4 ?" A2 k8 Y& V3 m" ^' ]
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) - A; a/ m0 ^ {2 F, s
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? W7 h1 F ?2 a/ k
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
5 g, O- L& \ F, P% D J- Z, {& Y7 ?Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 6 A% ?. j" c7 G7 j
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
2 e, y4 m( l {* s" z8 C m1 e% W. bHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
' }3 e# ]+ G: Y) \) y S' w$ \Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) , ^( i6 J" u2 l- T+ P9 R
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) E# H, H( B) u
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) ! G1 `/ c0 d* W2 _/ Q
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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