《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** 1． 5 c& m2 ^, ~* N1 a+ m影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） . I' E0 [3 d6 H  h7 m  @  U% V( }Holmes: I just picked it up. 3 [, c" L, e9 d( x/ a" H$ W! M0 tWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）   g) Q; D' @$ m# ]- \: _$ gHolmes: Knew I forgot something. ! v: n3 f5 {$ o& dWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） 7 d8 e  ^$ ^% d, a! ], v- I: F: c) eHolmes: You did. + {+ t8 e: q  d: m' ^! P9 _8 E（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. $ X- E& W4 N1 @5 p/ |+ i' t9 n% S$ e2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. " @4 F/ ~4 I" d" a2 F! V4 Y4 X3 ]- P3. 5 J# R# ]4 M- x/ e晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 0 x5 ]- C$ \  n. O% Z0 m7 E4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． 4 {9 v2 D4 ~! \! ABlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． 0 R0 A* J. l! Q% [  O* r0 m* D% fIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. ; }2 H- H5 x  W$ h+ \( e9． 0 r# s+ S" M  k0 j/ B2 ?Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. + o9 F" n  i9 z6 E$ l# gHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） " c: v: Y3 a$ Y+ d得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 0 D0 i2 k& D/ a' }Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? 2 T9 O) \; V! S0 MHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. - _: |' [) Z) B; ~& I: t2 F" p6 |  c10. . o, n1 h0 N9 r1 b墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 % ?7 m) @5 B( Q' P1 y8 S（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． 1 ?& h  d( O! b0 I5 L$ t* R河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… ; o7 S/ {2 R8 n3 G$ YWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） : I2 D; i' E7 ^* c, b% E死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） ) o' `* l; l4 Z后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）   w) i. ~) E- L  \; M: u0 z12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. : v8 I& v+ z( r接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 2 {3 ]: y! A$ g. m5 Q" o话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） , v# i  Z4 h) d- D% h- pWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? 9 E! U: |" v4 Y$ B. lWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） ( W0 C4 P& f( ?- f: I4 bHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） , n+ \( U0 e9 Y! lWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） 9 T( O' A% {* V: [& B0 e# a$ @Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） * `- [2 U3 M) _( i- ~# uMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） : W2 X' l3 Z( h$ H' H8 H（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） 4 ~2 k2 J! y7 h2 C. L6 Q2 \1 ]6 I*********** 1 ^& g2 V7 z) s2 u4 b总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……