 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 . |+ T$ E$ d6 }6 U6 g
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; M; Z6 {7 R% |! v: _影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 4 M/ h9 z9 L/ o ?6 g
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
8 n. _3 ]6 d" b- l/ K4 q' yHolmes: I just picked it up.
- @! |3 x. W# JWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) ?4 [& {) b# a$ H4 f
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
1 W( Q# F9 A' I' A ? a; ?5 DWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) ; h6 ?* o; X( S; r1 V
Holmes: You did.5 u8 |5 S! H( G7 W. H B
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
; [0 I. G5 _) b7 |Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
0 H, ~6 @& [+ D5 ?% I) W! k' V- fWatson: Permission to enter the armory.% G) `' U& r, ]+ H7 b
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
' N9 [0 c4 M; k1 H6 b. H; ^. dWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 c: `6 r& |9 Y4 \
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
0 ?' @9 T& [) @& T" O& }& K% \; JWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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' m" W5 F9 x( ~! WBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
/ `7 [& N+ l/ ` C- ~1 h8 d( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) - E/ \4 T/ _! ?
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
2 \4 g. O# m* v/ e- u' VHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
" D9 R6 m8 b5 e' J0 @Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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1 V: O. k( _9 x: g( pIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
0 t% Q) [2 z8 Q! j8 aHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
' c p4 c3 Y# [/ bWatson: Get that out of my face.
& T; c- |% A# i2 ^' a, SHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.# w) g5 ?1 G2 v9 ^7 }0 h
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face./ M4 h) [, G8 i7 y: P' P3 O
路人警官 Clarky上场。 6 ~0 [; j$ v% L) V$ p2 \5 \
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.. L) Y, |1 f' A9 ~2 X2 i
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
+ _1 y' R( J/ i8 L9 N2 `; h; a" Y得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
7 s( ]8 j: Q# G/ V8 DWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
/ }5 x2 P9 ^, l$ J" p1 Y( V$ MHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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( s3 |6 ]. u- r; I墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
6 P+ m+ \. G* L* F6 {" a0 o m& ^4 `( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
- ]2 o/ h/ ^3 e$ e' Z9 x, OHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.2 B c( R0 w- N
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) 1 R5 G# u- u( z/ T
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 , _' P( c e4 b2 ^
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) - B5 R+ O* {8 L4 n# _
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
( ~ r0 ^% E) ^" |; P# w5 ~; k2 N! r- QWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
7 U/ J' _# z% f: g+ p死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 # P Y4 e" H4 @: t4 i
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
6 d* I) r0 ]: v$ P+ w后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
1 l! ~8 t/ E8 T) p5 j8 JHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) ) f. ?2 {+ W0 f4 s
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 + }9 O. U' h1 i
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.! G0 p' L1 D& u" K& ?) `- F
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 ' j$ t8 Z, x) ~- H" Q
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 + T& L# V, {( Q# l2 m
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
0 A f" Z$ r! R1 Z' l! vWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
% e* e. Z2 C. rHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
* J* T( Y: U. z+ _2 @) GMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?1 v+ [& t0 U! l/ ?
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) & M* T# m [: \$ C! f3 U) \( }
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
$ H. A% \1 F1 f' ~: b8 FWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
! T0 L8 t A0 O2 G, I rHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
' o" n$ F: W3 x6 I( n% _Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) 1 r6 d4 F+ N1 W9 t! Q! n8 s3 t
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) , e) ^" Q9 \3 C, m
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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& U) ]! @( `% D8 Y总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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