《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 * G: W0 W' C. N6 {" L+ o0 _*********** 1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 4 B* O7 ]9 K  m/ ?& g; NWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） 8 b' X  T" W" D4 aHolmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） ' z1 q$ C4 ?9 |2 F* e" ?Holmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） 9 v2 I7 V) r* Z7 [8 p: @/ V! ]Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. . R0 X) i9 p0 j0 ~- U* S) b5 p2． 0 G3 @. `3 H. c; A1 Y2 }宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. " M2 N% k( ~7 T0 m5 f+ FHolmes: Granted. 3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） ; l# ~8 @& l* Q$ N$ B" c# |+ y; `! I6． 6 T8 G1 g7 O7 W# H1 FHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． * F$ @# J' t+ d2 r, e) J* E6 dIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 7 ]- Q- }; P5 j* G  p1 \（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） * Q( X. A1 E) I/ HIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? 4 U% G& j( `/ A- ?* x  mHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 5 `3 D$ T& {2 H( j: ~  q& |! ]9． ' Q0 f4 u; e, R3 I; i* bIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 . |) n. v; ]2 z0 NHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） # L  P1 V$ H; {! I6 Q: D7 G& EWatson: Get that out of my face. - R# H, s, ^7 `4 D! n! o. e( W/ THolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. $ @. J- ~( {- c  l9 j5 H' q7 W3 nWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 % p) ?- w) O7 Z, g- a# aClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. ) F+ Q8 v& u$ I+ mHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 8 ?4 z4 B) {5 H! X+ W9 f得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 3 B9 x7 e3 P2 F( A: o- @Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? 7 ?" h- f, O: @! p' |3 c% AHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 9 B% Z2 j7 ]3 x7 Q（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） ( F8 f# ?) Q1 eHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） ) B. S* p8 O& n0 FBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… 2 q: g3 j- F  R6 c5 Z3 XWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 1 m9 Q$ B2 @) ~6 P9 ^Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? 1 K2 ]' d9 U' e# s5 T2 [  ?( S$ `Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） ' g$ S% a1 _+ e  }5 w7 C% qHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） , e' c0 C' [7 v- Q4 j1 QWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） * U. B$ v* e+ y: Y& E; G' j& XHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） 0 b/ ^0 n1 |+ K/ F/ {; VWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） * U0 l1 L. m% h3 R- R3 W（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……