《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** 1． 1 H6 \8 D2 l4 }/ r$ [7 F影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） + ^, H1 y, _- U% C8 CHolmes: I just picked it up. % g( |+ g7 I( iWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. 3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 8 C0 ^% }8 D; }: S) U/ ?9 W# pWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 . `& r0 y% @' u+ v7． 3 W* o1 Y3 ~; i5 y" f/ [Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 : V2 o" a1 p' X& b* W# w" d1 {8． # X- [( r+ E' [0 Y0 c+ @9 ZIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 + \6 z: A4 B$ }5 C; n1 B* z: r1 H（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. . R/ ]: D/ O9 X5 [9． 7 C" f; ?# C: p! F+ J/ {Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face.   Z; [  X% q+ V2 QHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. - [8 R( M/ w# G0 W5 W: L7 Q. _Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 8 N  O5 F3 Z7 C6 ^9 RClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 ) ^: n7 y4 t9 T2 @/ c0 @2 ZWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. / E+ d& S1 H7 b% E& V+ ?/ U/ |10. - ]5 B4 [0 e: Q/ U- f3 t2 u墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 1 u) d9 x* ]. ]" N: d4 l- i（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） & I# J  [4 R& K* q; X# j8 oHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. 4 d( I  ^$ D# f" WWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） ! E2 Z. l1 T; J) X+ J9 g11． 8 H& a1 [" |  U% X河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。   s+ ?* M3 J. @) Q. n* |* PHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… ( R' Y0 w' @8 I; @Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 8 d( H' [9 L' b$ _/ Z1 x) F死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 1 {+ Y, S( q! H' K2 C0 `4 A* T后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 8 Y& F; H, i& u7 j1 ]3 K13. , `" h5 z7 K& ^9 w, ]接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 . N2 U) X; j7 [) m( }; Q; S9 D话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） 6 K+ M8 V! u/ |6 x8 sHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? 2 t* S- M3 |( W* X+ F4 jWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） % D5 {( U  c* y. ^1 KHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） - J3 X0 f2 n" {9 ?Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） : |) @: P6 t4 l* l* N) F" t（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） $ O7 y! m1 a# M. |+ b: I*********** / z+ j  V" w' h5 ~, N) N+ C5 D总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……