《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 $ j  T$ _2 I* @6 ?- S*********** 1． + h/ l  k$ M: }9 h, q) M! i影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 - B/ b( @1 p/ \* ~$ h8 }Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） 6 n7 w9 m) J  m+ }Holmes: I just picked it up. 5 @3 e, c! @; p2 V. QWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. + k- k8 X: H2 U2 H（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. # h) v7 G& G: t( D$ F5 n+ z2． 8 A, d0 U, o9 e0 F宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. ; b9 C- R. p5 v5 p7 F) A) s8 ZHolmes: Granted. 3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 " |0 Z( p$ e' c  G: W1 cWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） ( ?! j2 Z& e4 O1 w& A6． " Z2 J. L( |- x$ _Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 . B2 p3 Y3 |! c$ a! N8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） ' V* E3 u% |( a+ _! {1 e7 iIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? 6 ~/ Q1 H* v. b! t; p) K& hHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. ' K% P7 K* h& L/ T2 V: ZHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. + K; T! b7 z! l9 Z9 c- xWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. " l4 ]" c2 F! m+ J' L路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. $ w7 a  L7 K9 t! s6 c3 DHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?   L2 i$ A7 w( o! @, xHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 6 x9 \% Q) v4 D  s/ ^# T) n（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. ( `. S2 y/ q3 o; P) A5 l) U* K4 Y! UWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． 9 B8 X) }4 X8 t1 L* m; w+ d; v6 b8 E. |河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） 4 \# q& p/ z: f0 A  K3 V7 yBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… . r. j# C3 v1 ~8 h4 G5 a7 f% pWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 7 \$ e. W  t# {# {* U) I. M后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 8 I" S: P+ N; ?' e" Y7 sHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 & ^4 Z. G7 n0 Y" s2 t! ^Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 4 O0 ^" G2 G4 c& n  j13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 3 C6 O6 ]) {8 [4 H% S话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） & S+ F- P7 ]# J4 j; yWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? : _3 l" I. b  o) p+ k1 iWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）   Z4 I5 P! D7 K: ?Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） 6 c3 `. f  N8 e6 x" @, U. XMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……