 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 4 y" T s4 U. I/ h9 t$ ]
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[: A4 w1 Q# t2 h- O3 ?7 _影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
4 Y1 m& U% r: Z U. G: g; Q3 \Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
, v. J5 I4 ]1 w1 PHolmes: I just picked it up.4 U, h# C( S1 m. B! n; U& ~
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
1 ^% |4 w5 Q! R# _0 h+ K- @/ [Holmes: Knew I forgot something.& B; }/ S5 q& [
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) , g5 m) L- K% ?+ Y* r
Holmes: You did.5 W% R# e; c- Y) o
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
/ ]% ~' c% u' W" GHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
3 H# {) V" r S9 j+ }2 ^4 V9 DWatson: Permission to enter the armory.; B0 b$ Y1 V0 X* g- Q& [
Holmes: Granted.7 Y) W; y9 q+ A7 D u8 _
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 % X' w y. _6 c( t. w
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) , [+ O$ V+ u- ^' n/ E
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8 b H8 ?# [+ p9 n6 o( C/ d拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
! @) j# P1 e) r: O8 |- W6 y* bWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 3 e8 J4 Y" Z& ^/ q
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7 A. G) P1 V5 _8 b" A vHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 ) e+ |, }; h8 \9 K) p
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 4 `, Q3 r, t1 o5 M0 `4 U/ ^
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
w$ C! h4 Z6 A; S9 Q/ ~( C3 M3 ]+ HIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
+ a* U/ o% n$ t4 e, e9 b( CHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
) A4 I/ m, _. a# v, k1 R5 ^2 PIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.& X9 g1 g' J8 v4 l
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
8 e# {, _9 n& N% MHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
% k) V" Y/ I9 F( e. WWatson: Get that out of my face.
3 L8 M0 S; {* O0 Q* W+ }; NHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
2 k* D/ _7 h( B8 B3 D5 p. \Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.0 |/ W' ~! l7 n: q1 p" D
路人警官 Clarky上场。 6 O4 n/ H& `& k" S- w
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.% k+ {6 R6 G; B' m! Z
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
t& Q4 i9 R% ^0 u7 a) P: z得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 " @8 j! {( N$ ?# C) S& }7 B
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
& L% b' e" r* z$ YHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
0 o3 p9 b/ |- Q! L- o+ ?# G+ i( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) # U. D$ X5 S! p" \5 q
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
3 o$ m5 p; {% L5 n$ K4 xWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 5 m C' @! v$ T" @( V4 d6 G
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
, \/ _/ j# u I7 Q: FBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
/ J" p* K: W6 U1 oWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 8 M" Z6 }! x0 w" o1 B- c
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
! l8 R* C) l% E. k& PHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
1 f8 M! G7 X' L. f后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 5 Y7 G* B. N: g& d) o
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 ) e# w* b% U6 O8 l# K
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 ( t3 Q: ~: D8 S
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
( A! [3 p% Z2 h. P2 qHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
* f4 t) I0 q' u% L9 }Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 6 H* M) g* s7 c
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) , r: ] |% A" \5 F ]
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
5 {4 U- n! S- u- |8 A/ S pWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) ; N# l% @/ [( [$ o" [
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 7 ^2 f- Y9 c# |# t$ {* p
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) ' w: G z2 `! T- K8 n( I. ~
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) 2 e/ e+ X! ^6 r( `6 g# C" h/ s
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) 3 n% P0 e `$ x/ J
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
+ A, O7 i7 B8 ~- _' U( h( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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. P3 l. `* x! G1 r/ Q: \% u总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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