《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 , S, S2 ?7 U) t8 h5 V; D: e* W*********** % n( f5 A: y2 a6 c/ u- U% H1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） 8 I! u% L" ?% h3 w+ @; m* Y- |5 qHolmes: I just picked it up. 8 i2 c1 }, p/ L+ }7 @Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） $ o7 w4 ?1 H* e9 ~, f' RHolmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） ' N! j/ f! |9 d+ t! n1 c# HHolmes: You did. : A* t( c7 p% z3 r: ^! z$ a4 [（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 3 i) k' w- t: D- A; l) ]7 E+ ~% D2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. 7 }) {7 M* E7 {) W4 k0 i3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 8 r+ \- T) P, W* P- d! {$ y# z3 VWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 9 q- Q$ U, M% M9 u: x4 X4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 - e& e6 M. U. X# Z; r5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． % t; J/ w9 m3 |* {# ?9 nHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． ; x1 I! m4 Z7 x# O$ U% v0 yBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 3 B" b/ {% T" e$ W3 {8． 1 Y: i( T: ?$ c# U( K+ i! oIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 2 Q+ _1 r! B$ o* P4 k（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） $ v7 O: y+ _8 Y1 NIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? + V& Z: [8 w/ Z, N4 Y& wHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）   |3 C- R3 |) F7 @0 }$ ]0 UIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 : c# V/ @$ K" p9 W2 A! {9 W) J3 rHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. ! {. u5 g: Y4 g& Z5 ^Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. ) @) Y6 H9 P& C3 Z. K6 N. oWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） ) }. z+ `# G, p/ _得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 1 s( [1 x: A# `. }( w4 g) s, ]  UWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? 8 ~. C! \; a8 e- L* \Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 7 [  y! o2 ]% q/ ]+ `10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 0 \7 `( G, ~1 k/ d$ Z（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） * a9 r+ W5 ?+ H9 q% V0 gHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） $ \9 J) h" U9 @& w' U0 u1 c' g11． 1 I4 q6 R: P$ z" t, p河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 3 |9 \6 h3 N, O) p) L  \4 gHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 8 z* t9 C$ Z# [死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 6 n$ h) `3 F! \8 j; ?1 j后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． 5 b! {' _" \8 P5 K* m5 P警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 + `6 Y) N. l( T* y, SLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 ! j( s' n  |# `( g话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） , ~/ D8 x+ w* z* j4 y4 P  IWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） * @& m2 X( d. L' cHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） 7 T" W, l- j3 X: t6 ], FWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……