《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 ! n$ `& x* l& P/ g& k# h*********** " b9 y3 g" h$ R2 h# A. X; e5 e: p) o1． + h# A5 e& Z3 v. B$ L: A, D; ^  m影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something.   d8 P& K2 F9 R/ x) F- V7 \Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） - e4 L% X! W5 ~Holmes: You did. : b( N* @- i+ \  G% a, f5 J" q（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. 0 W9 I$ k" |6 e( S. i+ Y( w" w+ uHolmes: Granted. " @, m- s5 Y; C8 K/ [6 v- j: w! r3. 3 `. ?0 a, S9 A3 }& N- x晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） , R) B. h$ U" }; E0 {% a* B( k' ?4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5 e3 Z: x2 s) o4 X0 r# r5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． 9 @4 o! h- g. G# `Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 9 ^3 i/ M% T; j6 J0 F; k1 K7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 , L9 d! T2 N! u+ m& R7 v  t（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） : @1 G$ c/ E# [. k8 fIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） , k4 d5 Y1 E  t* z$ `Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． ; n: ]4 |9 Q  T. hIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 ; v: {: |/ Y$ T& M" ^# u4 xHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）   ]& J: }: `# S; \% x/ x3 A2 AWatson: Get that out of my face. " {/ _, l' \( ~: J2 y+ E! {Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 4 p) t' E( B, E/ i% EClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. , V$ F( ^+ D6 P+ ]7 oHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 % q& g' P! p1 t* ~: EWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 1 r4 _7 w/ Z2 ~( `$ U% I: W10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） ! p+ {# N9 ?6 v& dHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． ! F5 ]. z) N% _: ^7 F% M( z  o! P. S河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 / L* h- y0 O4 g' GHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… 9 ]+ P) V1 u9 `& ]/ fWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 8 ]  G3 h0 X# I0 p$ M后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 + C% g/ z4 `% O; p5 P' O( ?1 c& jHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 3 }% k) ~& K2 G* C9 {12． # q8 F3 c( x. z2 b警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 ( @# U0 J7 [& i0 p, e% J话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 . G" F; A9 z) [9 f. z+ W" v3 }Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） 9 L2 N7 j1 z' dHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） # b. w- t3 l, {- e$ }1 }Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） ' f( F7 ]* g6 ?（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） 7 J; Q- ~7 E% j' A8 ^( s5 [- `*********** " b  S4 _2 a6 E+ e* b8 G1 \; a总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……