《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** " q: R- i: s- c) K1 D7 j# z4 B1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。   E6 U! {. z9 T6 MWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） - A2 E& T$ b& \3 ~6 [1 [Holmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） ! [; [+ g9 Q: {Holmes: You did. - u( m5 o- y/ u8 ~) v# ^' u; n/ U（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. . V% k2 k6 K/ Y4 h* |2． ( F, W. o7 U8 i1 `8 k3 v2 k宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. . Q; V5 N) f. I9 ]3. 3 ?& ?( T4 P2 p! r5 b晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 ( \) @8 \4 F+ @$ X7 @+ X3 Z: `& S: vWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 7 z. _6 G6 {3 Z3 L/ w) w, m8 @5． " Q- P/ h5 u* u& s& _$ @Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 , O0 \6 x5 o, DWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 7 g5 j* T- I3 n  _  U" |" c6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 ! L' l6 c. r9 |( _/ A4 p$ U1 k" a7． 2 y: h4 g# m) h6 N5 A+ p  @- {; ZBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 + Y& J5 V/ X$ \2 ?6 [! q8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 . ^* E& @0 E% r（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） , y. D& x% O( q  YIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? 0 E5 I4 S# f3 cHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. ! i$ T) W5 b# M) ]& VHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. 2 `- s9 u6 N0 |3 TWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. . j  i5 A0 t! B; n/ L4 ~" o路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） * e( [: W& E. D- ^7 x得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? ! y4 u' }% x' SHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 3 _* ~) M3 j0 J墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） 3 `3 Z. q. X  @8 X" ^: V8 MHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. . O' v4 a2 Z4 z0 E  Y: ?( |Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） $ I% `  ?7 N8 e% O4 }9 [' l& s11． ; v4 W6 \) _9 {  K河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） & \8 \5 t8 M& M死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 : j# l' f7 Q3 Y9 G. u4 Q3 MHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 ! {$ m  @0 Y5 C4 b: @Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. ' a- a- s' ^9 f7 ~8 y接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 * ~" r3 k* D7 j3 b话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） $ _( E9 K! N2 S* Y) N" LWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） 2 ~, X$ T# G  e4 l9 zHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） 2 p7 T% U2 f( i& ]* C9 w6 ~Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） * s7 {1 N9 A0 P+ U+ SMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） " S) w7 n& `# `5 w. \5 i. E' P（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）   t+ H* f( T( G/ x# a: ^7 \# d*********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……