《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** / Q: ]& K+ ~* k& t. v( H, `* }1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 * `% J: K3 G, n: g4 |+ \Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） " @. J% T3 O* y; p3 a# aHolmes: I just picked it up. + a% g5 M6 Y  Z5 RWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） - Y& c( x% j  y! ^1 Q5 ~Holmes: Knew I forgot something. , U* \8 p7 e$ p# O! l6 ]Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） % c) [4 e% x: f" sHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． : b6 {# d2 X4 C3 |宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. 3. 4 Q! c: e! }& W2 C. y. d& m晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 , ^: ^5 f1 q% QWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）   }; ]* V: \% H+ l" |$ U4． / z6 y& s' n, Q+ x拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 0 v, J2 s" `, o6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． 4 h; g. |7 {4 d6 C8 m, IIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） 0 X7 |% Q: X8 b0 w8 P/ C9 B* `Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? / u$ f" _4 S- j& \0 v; d) A9 O9 uHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 ; m* y6 C. Z% H; ?; t  I/ SHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. " x+ O$ }. o# V: ^4 G: S& Q3 OHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 2 Z0 S* a- D8 M2 d: k0 C路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 0 w3 W# }- m* z得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? * j% N+ D9 q4 D9 aHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） ; |$ o0 |- P% Y% G& I  nHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 4 Z# Q: w) f7 w* z3 X5 g11． ) }9 G6 l3 i. C河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） ( J3 g( A  G8 o! i# h" ]Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… 5 Z! Q9 ]8 c- L4 Z  L$ y0 U5 Y2 z5 R; dWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） + J; N0 J! L9 j' G4 b后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． 2 t, q+ e/ y) W5 ~+ o* u9 W7 \8 S警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 4 B& ?1 D8 O$ b: p7 i# LLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. # w8 d2 n# y/ e5 b13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 , v% M3 m  Y  _2 b+ L% F话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 + R- Q5 j5 ^$ v% h' i. Y8 WHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） 5 |( X! z  T6 IHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） ( I. t. M3 Y& c6 SMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） ; t" y4 f/ @/ {, o*********** * X; Y# i% ~) a' m总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……