《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** 1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） # c8 J; Q) ^6 {7 YHolmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） ; a8 w; B, B1 a: E$ D, t& VHolmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． , ~. M, y- F# @宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 - a0 @) j8 M" C0 C3 s8 eWatson: Permission to enter the armory. % S) A- f+ b# Z  U+ \: T; m  SHolmes: Granted. 3. 6 C, i) g1 V# x! j" F2 |* W晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4．   a2 Z% v8 }* `; h6 j4 d拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 ( }: V/ B' P- h* u8 rWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 3 o+ U% F# e1 [2 p2 G, T' i: X7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． * D/ g' A2 {4 q: HIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. 7 h. V8 n! \: J. W, g) z& C+ H. U, PHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. " t0 t8 j7 W, L4 X5 f7 z7 i8 }路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. 4 ]: m$ j9 m8 GHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） : i: D. G6 Y6 k& v得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? $ i. }, }  r  Z" l9 N# fHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 8 {/ T- N2 g8 ]" ?2 O( A3 P2 X10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 1 g. Y7 H2 {# K11． / }# v4 Z6 L- Z  F. i) Q4 r河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… # [. ~) v" Y: V+ A2 ?) gWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） / k9 y- O& E* v; R. y  K后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 + {. ^/ g/ S) S. [7 ~9 PHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 2 I6 n' R1 E. p3 B7 t- h! N1 D, c5 Q+ ~& d12． 1 U$ t" E7 K: _- U6 I+ D& s$ O警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. + K0 y, k( P% n13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 6 O( y0 z2 Y* m& G% T; e话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 / {9 ?, j+ e3 j" M0 j- y0 [/ VHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） # F6 k+ T9 F( j" C8 Z& Y! {, g# XWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） . e! w3 {5 P* \$ e) ~, ?/ mHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） : I; |+ d8 l) g7 T' t* K9 FMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? * _- z. Z$ r+ F% A/ lWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） ; g) T6 C: O+ E" N/ SWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） - x4 Y% \) k% `4 u' r" THolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） 7 Q/ i( U8 E' A9 J& R- xMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） ' X6 u: U7 E- I3 p* f- M& \0 ^（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……