 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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. _' q- f5 ]% _6 O; S' z0 e影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 - k7 u2 N& K5 h, m1 h3 c& E
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
' {: b+ k; s- V# {, j' W; L+ k3 MHolmes: I just picked it up.
3 Y6 M7 T8 d6 _2 v" L+ oWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) 1 ?& _" u1 X8 n( [8 _! N
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
& h& Z5 o2 b3 e5 p+ vWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
7 e2 m4 m4 U4 t: GHolmes: You did.
6 ~. t- H( B1 L1 _. Q(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
$ [) W1 }2 C1 |; J5 }$ V3 yHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 ( J5 F R) I) P9 e7 p
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
. B% S" h! P) [Holmes: Granted." y# y3 R! @1 U/ d
3.
& H$ L' V7 R; @晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
6 g% q: A4 ?7 W$ E: E" NWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 7 v& q3 S% i: ~# P
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$ O( j5 j b' f5 D. R) s$ M0 ^Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 & k) L8 @0 r5 T
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) ! o1 F( q$ Y# G' ^# G
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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, B3 p% g: ]5 a7 F1 j/ Z$ |( u/ R' VBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 4 u V0 m/ U4 p# s* E$ i
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" X( |' \9 l! S @4 D4 l; KIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
/ U5 W7 G8 q+ g+ k7 {( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
, S" l% } d9 ^5 e4 uIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?9 d" T& A" b; x; D6 h. c9 [
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
+ |- \6 |. G1 C9 ~7 K% X2 XIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 . [/ Y. Z! F* e; W6 h
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
* S2 r: y, s0 [# e7 C3 ?6 rWatson: Get that out of my face.
2 e7 \. b( c& gHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
( u2 f! w, t) yWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
; ]! F. J, @' O5 {/ F8 ^* U$ a$ ]! ~路人警官 Clarky上场。 9 O. v; k& [) E
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
* v6 @$ z( e. e2 j" lHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) 5 Z+ @* `! w/ P/ T# F
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 $ m8 }( Y# C0 K0 e" s+ r, H
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
9 P4 f; F$ r) SHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.' ?1 P1 d: i& A0 k/ y3 p' i5 q
10.
- R/ P' R1 O# m! n6 U7 n墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 n. d4 D9 o3 O, y; z0 }
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
7 w+ |0 G L' GHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
8 E& s$ @% h9 Y. m* L1 }* N- pWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) % k; y9 F& D2 q1 z, }# E8 C$ X
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; {2 f1 R" ~) ~河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
- m0 G' N: g& r2 @& V6 N) Y c) \Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
: o. l+ I7 Q2 uBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
, O6 C U* ?- o3 E" JWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) ' W0 h8 `7 Z1 |1 R8 |: W9 Q! b
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
1 u. Z2 K7 z- AHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
2 {( j0 g% F: ]8 d1 `1 [6 ]后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 " Z3 a6 y" P2 g! d' o
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 9 L2 I" I, I* l5 F
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: O; m9 `: p; L警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 ; x5 m- u9 w6 f% X1 t4 N0 b
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.! I. s" \9 O4 a8 z! |
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
3 q D" D! c2 `7 o3 M2 X$ T3 B; j话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
" u! d; _% y0 I' uHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) . u5 h7 \5 |" I- d/ R, h& U
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
0 d1 X5 q7 Z5 W& z }( `Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) # R/ M' A! P6 p& q( c
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
( a. n0 r. O4 h+ r0 ^5 AWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
- z' {1 C" G" G8 [! R1 QHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
1 g4 |' m' b& y/ a7 _7 O8 x' JWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
/ u- `7 \9 U0 h5 ]1 dHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) & h* i$ [! C6 \0 u3 F$ y0 H; l
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) 7 y" @# V/ V7 ]1 ^. ?3 L. r( r
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) 6 v# K& Q/ c0 G7 p$ R% `, U4 C
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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5 H6 ? I( M8 S% e2 _) ~, o总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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