 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 . ?$ R- e O. H8 q+ K* I/ l
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
7 V9 t2 }% X0 X$ z, HHolmes: I just picked it up.
* i5 v+ Z+ g; @" xWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
! E+ u0 G% F3 C# y# h: ]Holmes: Knew I forgot something.6 L7 C$ V, v# U7 Y; T+ O6 m
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) ) X$ |8 q5 }* ^3 M; y% X+ Z% H
Holmes: You did.
8 m8 J! R0 o# B; q$ N# J(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
" Y! P; G8 N' u. y& P1 t. VHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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! g6 x& h" N5 M( b6 w宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
1 e3 h$ h2 R9 nWatson: Permission to enter the armory.( T1 d5 ~: D/ L ~( A- A
Holmes: Granted.3 j6 }; R8 d- H. {( u; ]
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% c( v& [. _ e! R% l晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
" q/ T3 y9 r9 [/ j4 x9 bWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) , W% Y9 o8 z9 J+ c6 v: \$ C1 h
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/ q" Q' I2 D( D# k0 K4 J拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 0 T( W Y# e$ A+ P! T
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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6 ^$ i/ F6 B. CIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 1 [6 ~+ X; H: ]/ \
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 0 Z# m$ l2 D2 F* _5 s5 H' v% k
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?8 {# Y0 w) y! H% {+ k
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
6 I$ r, T* ?, |* \' {1 ZIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.1 k4 H9 Z T& [
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2 a8 Q8 g9 [! j, dIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
8 b. O4 K0 n1 a: vHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) N7 j. C4 C1 J
Watson: Get that out of my face.
! }" N5 M; w$ f8 ]Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
7 P( l' P U5 L6 aWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
- {+ b& `5 ^; z) m9 q, _( n路人警官 Clarky上场。
# \, @, `4 T/ U- w& c Q- ]3 sClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
9 @# e3 b- t# D1 s+ l+ J5 L5 }( _Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) 2 H7 k, s h5 }0 n" P* j) D
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
5 M3 Q5 P8 G# {0 [/ B G1 EWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?+ f8 }# b" ~$ ]. V5 T' v8 o* \
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 : b q7 }% p3 |; F0 i
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
, g0 c! n5 }- _; kHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
, o2 q. ?7 a* | ? B" dWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
5 z; m" B( v/ A" p- n1 u1 Z; v WHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
& C$ f8 R+ ]1 ^$ {Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…5 ?# u, l' J, }1 Q
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) & J% o" U) y( h
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 # y' C, h% p0 ~# ]- |- v
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
; {2 v, s1 ]9 W/ K/ L后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 9 r8 H1 ]' A( a- Y
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 6 W5 R+ o2 A* }4 H) @' M% S; Y7 A
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 ( h& h# G6 {% Y. v* b5 T- B1 t2 [) e
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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6 G' @3 Z7 e$ \1 Y接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 % r$ g% j$ s) a4 o2 Y+ e
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 ' m1 `* m x2 I# E U. w, ~
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 2 Y( N7 V% L% ~, `1 L
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 7 H! F2 L, N6 B, A% o$ S2 b, [0 b2 g& f
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
7 d: u* l/ x6 L8 A) oMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
8 O7 L8 q5 _: n0 s, T4 c# BWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
. o5 f; w; g/ L ~6 i5 u8 [, S* JHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
, C/ K( w1 t/ p3 }1 yWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
/ {) u0 c, T4 V( u4 jHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) - U4 p/ i0 z3 W% n {: Z( P. {
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
; B8 J' Y: j) Z v0 U6 k% VMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
2 _2 z* U, C- E- u( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) , C c- O% v, z$ P( R
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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