 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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& I7 q. g# A$ R" H7 w% a9 i影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 C/ U1 I2 k$ k& T) p( }
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) $ a% ^% b, Z, L9 ^1 F! x# W
Holmes: I just picked it up./ A4 q C! O/ _
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
- ~9 p( S) E9 @9 b+ ^7 AHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
/ S- R: w6 z5 rWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
; a; X9 l# _) M! V3 u2 sHolmes: You did.; D: @( P/ H% s7 q% N. j& m8 u
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
- A; \# L3 x8 e7 Z/ R/ l, jHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 ( ]% {6 h9 W3 y: B5 R
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.5 l ]+ y0 b3 H; _
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
0 I3 g: a4 u ]' P- C$ `8 N3 dWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) / r" B; U4 p: d1 `) i
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. ^; s: O) y# ]4 K- `拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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1 D7 D+ x( [3 U+ PWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 $ z( ^; @$ n. c6 Z' N7 @0 K
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 1 D8 N' M, P/ T5 E" m" b
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 $ k+ L. \6 e" B; ^" s: x6 Q" |
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( M& F: s m0 M5 Q# pBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 ' U1 q$ j6 ]# n
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 6 \ c& G/ @2 [% _! F6 V
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?! m+ I1 j* F% ^' F$ g; V. R
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
0 d; d& Q" C5 P( [. kIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.+ r; b: x7 v, L* }& J* L( z! z
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/ l% i. }8 E0 dIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 9 `$ S. X0 G" @8 i2 Q& b! E$ ^
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) # B5 u( `/ P1 G+ ]+ [6 N4 {
Watson: Get that out of my face.
' R, X3 m/ ^) z/ nHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.1 |# ^2 n$ o1 g9 D0 x) y
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.' g3 O/ s! n, ?
路人警官 Clarky上场。
0 }, f* V) k1 p C5 zClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.. A$ l: i) L) i5 a/ h8 q+ Z
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
. t/ Z& N7 ?1 X! [: c6 p得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 7 ]* \* T* i5 O9 ?& E/ H
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
+ Q. N8 `. K+ m. s$ T: C8 R# P6 hHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.) g+ k8 `5 ~8 H9 F( R2 y `4 r& |
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 ( ~, l! `! v" M4 V
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
, F; X6 S) j' Y" `0 j0 E# T. j dHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.5 _% U& O* j6 c+ V
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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. y0 `# _0 G3 \9 d( c河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 ( m7 W/ |# M0 m* o$ a. I
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
# L+ A# V; z3 j v5 |5 zBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…4 l) o' g# O* K4 Z& t
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
2 f6 x7 n+ _* ?4 M5 \0 [7 K死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
5 `7 K: p4 V- C% ?Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) : c9 k' F6 I% L* X$ g+ i
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 " {& Z% x6 I5 p% H2 J* ~" z/ q
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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; F$ ]) x/ o. ?% D9 E% o1 k X0 T警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
6 z: x9 T2 l' E, \Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
' ^9 Y9 k2 |6 v. |! f话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 . y% f! o! r$ R5 q+ H& U. P4 n6 P
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 7 S2 b$ n. e3 X) \% y
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) ! k$ v& |; ?! j" ^" n6 F R/ W
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) " x* a! p' o: C' p# e. z8 a
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?1 F5 R4 s! B7 L
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
& r1 g8 r, i; z* _$ eHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) % ]9 P/ s+ r1 f) r9 t
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 6 c# W( }4 u5 }% v% u/ T) V+ z
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
- X% x5 x% Q. O' P# \Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
2 t$ _2 D" C o: s! z6 xMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) " Z, S2 `- w/ q! {6 K$ H
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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