 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 ! ?6 k0 H& p" \6 w7 h1 u3 C- t8 Q5 u
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' n, m2 b, N0 I) U7 d! n影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
4 L! v$ |) m2 z: jWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
8 W( R" M% Y7 [Holmes: I just picked it up.
, E, Y' y* v- y' u0 }5 \Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
3 I/ w, c6 _2 |$ g; q$ b1 r2 Q; u5 SHolmes: Knew I forgot something.: q* E& e" m# L5 c, M" ]
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
. N3 s& x- c0 u: ~' RHolmes: You did.- Q. i, b3 {" ]" Q" ~6 _
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) - c: x8 U. L* e
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 * R, @* z+ ^# y, I% K/ ?( L: x5 b
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
$ Z& V/ i, F, y( nHolmes: Granted.9 x# @& `: d8 a- j
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
4 w+ ?6 @' X% A; U8 WWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) ; E7 N4 \& y! V/ ^3 I7 E7 Q \; z
4.
% K7 t$ X6 ]1 c5 z% M3 {拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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0 d: C/ U, y; k* I1 ?Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
% h# p% N* z1 W9 e) s) f# P" H# ]Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) " n. v/ K* T; Q3 O2 l3 D7 \
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9 J P9 o# m1 U# j/ a4 T* xHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 9 l6 X3 S- j$ C( U( s2 ~1 b$ f
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
+ Y9 y$ s$ ^( o# b' p. P) V, { B( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) ) g3 d8 f( f% }% L$ h* K
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
C E. }1 O/ }4 h2 O/ `Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
3 [& K3 [" u1 q2 J6 }Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 ) y2 Z" s ~/ Z% r9 {
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
9 K0 Z! Y6 u" T; L I- S1 i. wWatson: Get that out of my face.+ J4 u5 N( K8 d: y
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
4 c/ [2 ~+ m: P. R! DWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
1 e0 J4 T' t7 W$ d) F路人警官 Clarky上场。 - V. ?. @8 r8 z( O
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.3 c' ?% |1 {/ t3 |9 j
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) ; D8 S! K; c! \. ]
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
$ |) q0 @1 R5 n# F/ pWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
& O# Y$ F" E2 X% u5 c5 N5 `Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.3 e# I( j+ i( V% }$ {5 }! h
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 ( j; w: Q1 |% o8 z7 \
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) ' r# f; f# G2 i. G6 m
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely./ E' s }% `7 M. I+ r, L
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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/ R1 y0 k" g2 d% L8 f河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 . p5 P3 k2 a0 q$ @4 q4 k# d
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
# X* y$ b# k h8 G' J8 yBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
( g9 I3 [" y7 l* TWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 3 \3 Z' c$ [; S$ B8 g; V3 m
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 # f2 h! V% I9 |6 R4 y, A
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) , c5 E: m) ^' C3 [ \ N0 u
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
; j5 X# m% m4 ]: B* f( GHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 6 ]( k# y5 }) m0 _
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 # X, M0 ?, a) u
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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1 J% I- }+ E* P接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
4 p; M# Y, b0 o4 d, ^话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 + [ c- q5 q2 o# n' ^( A
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) / i/ v$ }, x- D) E9 B
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 9 V: i9 u0 K( L0 t
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) ; v" l; O* V( \* e" {4 l! J" @7 n. b
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?: P! M. J. q _9 Y: @, c
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) . G2 ?0 a$ V$ H6 a
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) ( p R. T% m$ s' k' G1 e3 j
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
0 i. ^4 e* f& n& [0 [. VHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
9 [8 {# X( M2 m, MWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) % q+ ?' I9 X# ?4 l; }" s
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
4 X( E* T; F; W, ]! x5 ? ?( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) 0 z6 ^/ a v& ^/ x
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$ i/ O0 K2 i. c总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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