《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** 1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） 2 r( i- [1 H4 \! p3 \0 ^Holmes: I just picked it up. " ?2 U5 v( B* D* PWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） & H8 n% t( |; {. g8 ?Holmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） 7 R3 l) ~7 b. e' |  _# x. p) BHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. & `  p" W* _; Q4 l0 `) |" C2． ! v6 B; D# t' W3 Y宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 / g5 e1 ~# h8 U$ pWatson: Permission to enter the armory. 8 w( B  T, `5 W/ v, G# b, K3 z) NHolmes: Granted. 3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 ( k  b1 O+ U% o" |Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） ; [& j* x) [4 z! b- j) H4． 5 c7 d% X2 U2 u7 i0 a  r# h$ j拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． ) }' I: t. f# Z" j6 ]$ C0 y' W" BBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 * o6 T; y9 u; j2 \) U5 t+ w8． 4 c: ^6 ~3 K  [  G" a  `, c2 PIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） ) {, A, o6 a7 p3 vIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? $ g2 q+ |# A$ E. @4 y" dHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 0 U$ l0 C$ s2 R4 I/ [2 F9． 0 I4 j2 U  K8 t$ U: O8 [% fIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 8 h9 }" h2 F* G$ Z$ U( ~$ u7 hHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 + K+ N* W  T0 E4 Z" uClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. ) v' Q5 |9 T0 ?! u6 `Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? 1 d. z, X" S% V& b$ }7 eHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. . m" ^  k) G9 R" q" j墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 . a' w8 d# }0 T( F7 f! h6 Q（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… 0 w$ }; ]% b7 j* L9 O$ hWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 ( @+ ^( ]1 \- [& z. b4 PHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） $ c7 |: R: K) N+ S% a9 O/ i12． , G; k3 E1 L* Y) Z3 k警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 6 e* F* B1 W* D9 A) t* QLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 ! c& e: F& q; O0 s4 yHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） + i7 V2 N( D' H1 v1 T) Z  G/ cWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） ) H) ]+ b5 v' |: Y" iHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? 3 s! s' \: O  }: K! ~  AWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） $ i, b: X  v3 h# J3 \! fHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） ( G$ x5 P" g3 Q: I5 m( ^! KMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** # Z6 U# e9 M, Q1 d' ~: G总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……