 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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% E8 {6 i; I% a% q; F影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
# P! r- L% Z3 o) P( |Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) ' Q) }' V1 b. I! ]
Holmes: I just picked it up.
# W2 y( x1 |7 W4 W/ U, LWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
) c" R0 d" |& ?% vHolmes: Knew I forgot something.: p5 ^* X d; G) \/ b7 p
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
6 f: Z2 a& l! c( H( C% f" p8 K/ \Holmes: You did.) ^# e* m. S( D( Z7 R' A
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) W4 V$ B1 z, v( H; q
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.2 R1 y1 A) ?7 w5 F
2.
y; Y! Z. g) a) K# T# p宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 ( e# O6 _6 M5 Z `& Y- Y. v3 s2 H
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
/ x. a0 W/ p2 @ f' ]8 X6 GHolmes: Granted.& `3 S7 m' `/ \
3.
* |# E! P7 G& m: F* d9 F晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
- q( o1 V# t( b: SWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) ( S2 [# @, ?. h$ X$ T
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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2 Z' {2 q2 @/ ?1 a/ U% f. KWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 7 G- e5 X/ \" s; E$ N: Q& r
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) % |7 X. p1 `% X5 [
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3 t$ g% L- @3 }& w3 v8 o- g9 s$ M7 g- J+ uHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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4 @, t! {$ j$ |; ~Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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: w8 m' e7 O4 }- q. gIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
0 U: ?8 E# f/ O7 ?5 `& P/ s( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 5 T# w2 j, {7 @7 h& l( Q/ N
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
4 b7 q: W) y) n# o6 P0 v6 iHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
# Q9 L( o+ q# H* ZIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 0 r) y. h$ L+ L h! g
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) ! f+ ?# H1 D4 f- B* I3 y% [' y
Watson: Get that out of my face.
9 V; P0 X( s, o& t: J/ D5 l9 |$ bHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
& n. O/ ^0 }$ C9 L: C# BWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.% ?' |1 O6 ^. H- d7 H: E) A
路人警官 Clarky上场。
) M, B2 z R0 F- iClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
3 ~& w5 b# ~ hHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) / |1 s+ Z7 G* K, V D& l7 ?
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 $ c9 o0 R B- l# j
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?9 F$ h7 }1 q9 d' X- H8 B: y6 q% J L
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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+ a) }- R; Z1 Y墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
$ M* C, O" `$ g) _ N; O( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
: {' l2 P' x* X. uHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
. q, M! C/ T6 N3 E j# @ IWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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# N* T! F2 c i; U( A. C河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 7 t: c1 j2 G+ I( [* [' b4 Q) C
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 5 W' F( S E/ G4 P$ Z
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
4 K2 a4 v1 k3 j* s8 v: {4 v) y3 qWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) + B* U3 g" I) c
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
0 _( a$ s! a( B# aHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) 5 Z9 U1 _% W' K# c7 G
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 ) G1 v; ~ b9 j
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) # T! }. g) c' ^- d$ R! m
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/ X! }4 b j$ V1 o/ Q" l警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
+ e$ g4 b' E5 ALestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.* v" }5 P5 P* N& x) W ?
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
$ K+ @0 t- p* f话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
* p: D: |: Q5 w2 ~Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) * R/ ^3 `- F! a2 w2 Z
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 4 _) ]3 @8 w+ P* M- U/ R
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
6 h) s$ {6 S1 n) O4 T/ HMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?$ [: w8 M) D) p0 Z6 B% V
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
7 i# p$ T) @8 K, n) l0 Y8 C1 N/ ^' _2 iHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 0 c8 Q% _ E2 }$ k0 ^6 j
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
8 z6 D2 a7 m6 s4 RHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
# P% _7 E1 E( J1 e: S [' jWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) ( N: O5 ]/ A$ c# H$ Q
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) % U8 u7 V2 E8 Y1 u/ c1 W
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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