《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 * F9 p  T, a0 E7 m*********** % z" p* J& Z# P8 V/ I& L1． " p- `' M2 l4 P影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 ' ~. R; I9 K% ZWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） % g( R6 ?9 w, K: S6 V: ]Holmes: I just picked it up. , d$ b' S% x$ n/ X; ~8 GWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. 8 F& ]4 k+ [" w4 ?2 PWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. $ }' d5 f+ H* o/ C6 O# @3 g2． $ C( v1 I/ ?8 e1 F2 F" y宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 $ L% A2 h$ A/ w5 w$ UWatson: Permission to enter the armory. $ z  t7 S9 g4 G, O, [8 g/ {+ bHolmes: Granted. 3. 1 p8 x) E2 q* ^# O- x晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 1 v8 d* l) c+ T0 i5 Y# vWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 1 I/ r6 R8 n& A" O- J: F! r6 M1 S1 u) M6． ' {+ T+ t1 [# o, u- ]7 i5 FHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 % F, Z2 i0 T# z% H8． 3 N- _# P1 S' I, u  g! DIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 ; N: M5 ?( h( B! y0 M' ^7 M（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） 4 E: Z& [6 I0 H0 `6 ?Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） ; s2 |8 {# C% D* K5 @: lIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 : h) q0 K# _2 w+ j' }" v* C3 d6 MHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） 7 Z/ g4 Z0 L0 U% |! PWatson: Get that out of my face. # h! c. \7 w7 P! {* y+ G: w8 cHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. 8 G1 f9 j/ F: ?; `  c% h% nWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 1 P5 ?0 V/ z/ sClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? " s+ [, g( _% C6 f0 V) a( s" Q# yHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） 3 r+ A% l2 K/ CHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． 3 \; U9 ^; f( `- [: B' O* C4 s河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） ( _! l+ _7 F0 }  H( L! cBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… ' l6 s0 e% v5 N  \% BWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） $ c! E4 o- V: ]( e/ \$ t7 h死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） / p4 V4 g2 k' b& {后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） " [6 A6 U- h5 y12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 9 M9 V+ o3 E7 g8 G! r1 Y2 SLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. ( e' j( m; a0 D/ Y% o接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 4 G7 a% r! Y% O* b6 y  MHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） + |8 @) h* m$ J1 t% i+ GHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） 6 V# e. `6 F9 }" wWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）   T2 g6 d8 o( q7 v0 [1 C2 F" T/ `Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） ' @! m* G; g  _. ^Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） * Q# f- @# x$ v4 V& A/ b*********** ) F7 f3 [5 m, q; U5 {6 _) q总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……