 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
: l2 K& S5 M( _- PWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) & o0 W! m1 L5 \4 @" Q2 ^3 C: r1 _6 ^ I
Holmes: I just picked it up.
5 T! I" e; } YWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
n6 K& v: L- i2 U% MHolmes: Knew I forgot something.# n- F$ n, w+ d. P6 {) d& F
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
$ ?4 i, M) @, UHolmes: You did.
# R) T0 A3 p3 ` t" I/ ]. W(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) 8 T9 k2 O; Z$ A/ a# e
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.0 @2 Y0 h5 Z) v/ r
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
. V" U+ w2 o# c: c* M" a0 aWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
+ o# V2 S2 }/ cHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
/ }6 p [2 g7 |2 Q9 ZWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 2 M1 L2 {9 Q" d. o
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 ! w i0 B- C) c8 V" @
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 6 `6 r4 u6 v- v- R2 p& r
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 1 p+ N% r3 N4 C% x. J/ z
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
- g7 o- F, a8 K( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 2 T' z9 v2 B( F
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?& v/ M1 \- [( f$ V( @
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) # N" a( q+ K' x
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.; s, e( y8 |( U( R( h
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
" O0 ~* `: {1 uHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
" E9 @) ^5 ]) w1 Z9 MWatson: Get that out of my face.
% M: M2 r. O* L/ _8 i- E7 ~5 XHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
0 }4 u/ U! q$ C, v* {" _Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
! M* l) U f: C- [( A路人警官 Clarky上场。 + |: B" M7 G+ F3 f2 q
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once./ n! G: U; i6 V9 `9 g
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
. E, q6 R. n8 p得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
/ p3 m( W' L* X! _8 X8 U6 eWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?& X- c7 e8 T7 g# C- N4 ~0 A
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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2 x1 q0 ~7 R4 a6 F W; f墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 " z* e6 ?1 j8 m9 h
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
+ s# R# J% a) E. _% ZHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
0 M0 C b: y5 w* A8 D! sWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
( l5 R5 u z9 @4 r4 zHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) ) _) g& x- b- Y
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
2 |6 h; r6 }% ^1 A8 b; `% e0 H/ lWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 1 j, I; m; K2 |/ U4 @
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
8 K* c* R* u4 Q; xHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) 2 u2 W3 S1 P/ k
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 ' D- p3 n8 v5 K& E
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 9 Y, f- ^2 y6 M
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2 v! h+ y; @( s) d警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 . Y! G+ u+ _1 V N1 L% L
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 8 Z* u/ J7 V# N3 ~) {, w
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 3 s2 z( T: u1 z: [- Q- N! s/ f: K
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) * U R3 `7 E: T$ g- u/ T
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) / ]% D7 o; u' \5 v( D' C0 Z
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
' i0 G1 l& S4 l1 jMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
& i2 T# ~' D" C* }( [Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) 1 V" g0 S! i3 U7 I( n; t. z
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
, N0 N i5 q" [( f% U3 }. L0 PWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
9 K9 C4 Q3 ?4 a. C7 Q* R# Q9 CHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
" c6 Y' s1 p1 H: e$ f8 ?Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
$ P% r1 @, t* {8 ]' _( yMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
. ^/ w! e9 E' _2 J* }' H1 b! N/ q( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) 6 b7 V/ f/ |) Q0 Z- Z S
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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