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《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

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洋扬 发表于 2010-3-19 02:24:07 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是Holmes,不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。( i& A/ D+ U9 u
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7 w, t8 C+ X; a$ y) ?: D影片开头,Holmes启动Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。3 |/ [% K' T9 p( [+ S% C  q
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)0 A* y- X3 l% @
Holmes: I just picked it up.
6 }( q5 e. B- D2 e; x: iWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
+ G: `) q# D4 d; l/ M: iHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
# I1 u. P4 o$ H9 K. e3 e/ lWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
, H9 d: n# u! {Holmes: You did.
: K9 p! Q: R/ F; t0 \7 U" u1 @9 n(注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
% o& ]9 j' n/ n0 ^Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.- Q5 F2 q9 z( a3 Q
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。8 q7 w- Y1 T" }; k7 L$ m4 _, z
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
: E# C% ?9 r+ O% u9 B7 YHolmes: Granted.% }, C2 A' l" x7 e  ?
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
" K* d# d2 C7 T+ S) t2 r6 y2 p( F3 XWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词:very mature。)
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1 v  q% T% _8 Y4 W, G拳击场那段(Holmes启动Combo Strike之前)的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。9 z- ]; d5 ?! V" \" n
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
; Z9 q. J" |1 A3 U3 RWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见Blackwood时,Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。& C; n& n! u# |7 o( T
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终boss)的委托来见Holmes。$ X% D3 [, N8 u8 l' ]1 ]- i+ \9 i* x1 W
(Irene掏信,Holmes惊慌失措). Q! s( G9 x; E" }% U
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
, s8 O7 F" a- x/ j* jHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。)
, j0 Z4 @- e2 N: [& lIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开,Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes,建议Holmes远离麻烦(leave the case alone)。, }1 D0 g1 j  G/ T% Q* B! S
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。)
* W1 i/ d/ M3 j5 s! f7 }1 k6 r# NWatson: Get that out of my face.
3 F( C: i6 `/ M8 {: bHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand., x" X4 k2 o) q/ M
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.3 |/ A0 e$ n8 @  q$ r+ C( }
路人警官Clarky上场。7 o' h5 K1 y' l$ b' `* l" W
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.) [3 j; H, F# b. A: k1 T
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
! p0 M  O. ~3 w6 a得知Blackwood死而复活后,Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。& Q8 d& g$ ~: [4 O
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
2 J; `- s: v! w' sHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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- z( @1 b. U) y$ U! l  G1 Z墓地勘查后,Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母,Holmes独自调查死者的住处。# b1 X1 s9 o& l
(Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。)
9 c& A) \& `0 e( gHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.6 W9 L+ v! O# Y- l; Y0 q8 x
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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2 m6 Z$ w, f) A2 K/ j" t2 S; o- }河边屠宰场,Blackwood装13地出场后。
6 z0 L2 Q5 G# y/ x% A4 w- N( \Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
0 B  _) P! d6 y7 Q- h7 YBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…' d) W8 z6 E- s' ~. V9 P
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
8 C) _% f6 V2 m% e死亡机器开动,火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。, [5 d0 W. g1 \# a) C$ V
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
# P- f0 Y; i, T后来解Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。, o' L, n# g& O1 m
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
/ n4 [) ~( O$ ]1 cLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.$ [* _, m: [* l2 s
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。/ w( J" g4 z- k! F
话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。9 [0 b0 I+ H; y* b$ F8 N' B
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟Watson)But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示Watson放他下来。)Good afternoon, dear. (向Mary问好。)  Q; _# J+ @* f+ u0 |
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
( n" e, v: S( q- F& UHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示Watson放他下来。)4 S1 B0 ^/ e" r3 F+ g; m
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?% l3 Q) q5 w7 G) K# [
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)3 g9 s& ~& ]1 _) V: R' g1 ?8 j
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
! f7 C% D5 D( X5 C1 AWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。)
0 a5 M/ k: q9 @) uHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。); D; [6 b! {" o7 |! b
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
% q& K4 s( j% m$ NMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)7 @; S9 }2 U: Q/ V; W
(Watson把Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……

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