 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
, p) m% w/ ?" x" [' q5 ]Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) 6 y7 p" q2 x! e4 y' X
Holmes: I just picked it up.
/ N/ [# n0 h8 BWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
6 i% A; R- \# g! E4 |" ?4 M" ?Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
4 b7 i1 K7 e R3 k4 H2 |/ SWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
7 J9 _' ^6 s2 ]* E* _Holmes: You did.- E9 n/ `3 Q' K$ L
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
$ \3 z0 b7 w2 w( ^5 a6 m, EHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. p% F! b5 U8 b: j; U: n
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4 `: y/ I. t: A1 F宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
6 S. a1 D9 _% @; `3 c- \0 x3 vWatson: Permission to enter the armory.; W6 W7 ]2 s) |8 K6 j" }5 a5 x
Holmes: Granted.& e; _% x" p9 L% V& b
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 ) k! Y# v$ l: B+ z7 e# Z
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) : u' a2 L8 H# I& W+ _. Z5 \( k% V1 Y
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1 p9 L/ a) C# L3 |) X: g拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 & d+ _9 n- H# z
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 + ?( H0 {, x! {
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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4 k. |6 L5 F7 nHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 ; H, s$ n+ J4 F4 m
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 9 n2 ]! W; w" r! {( D9 j
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) & W8 ]9 q3 a" C; i3 l
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?2 O" e) e% Z! E
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) ( Y7 x6 ~) U b% j1 z4 B6 h7 C
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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+ u1 V, P! k, c0 u5 `Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
8 I6 y/ x3 H" }8 m5 s" M6 PHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 1 n; }1 p% ^3 a* r0 N i& X
Watson: Get that out of my face.
) L' R4 ~1 n; Z2 sHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
2 T1 V6 E U4 ] m3 N: q! i1 o2 NWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.! E3 o# G% n$ P+ V& ?
路人警官 Clarky上场。 : K* X, g2 `+ h( J5 W k
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
( R+ K) \4 i- r2 DHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
. p& K; b x( f- q得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
6 |2 o+ P/ f: SWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?8 d8 o: h( |6 T0 l; p' R
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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/ H4 S6 k. j; j3 U3 n; P墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
" Z( Q0 b1 a" _" E$ ?6 W8 a( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 4 T; G4 I# A o% t3 [
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
3 o3 ]# d4 n/ TWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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3 D: J% A3 F1 u6 a) A* ]+ A河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 ( Y' i, y0 ?( t! H7 O' D, `
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 0 q" u- P1 ~. s0 k8 Y
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
+ \2 W% s- K, q2 LWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) # G1 P, O2 s j( V( r
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
- Z" C7 l3 N" \2 U5 U" H" D' ~$ uHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) / j$ z7 Q7 P* e8 X
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 % H+ n3 a& Y5 f' L/ J2 |
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
- ?1 n8 {% u. WLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.* }7 J: B2 |+ O# ^# z
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( s' W& C: f; m. {$ b7 I! e接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 ; a0 R6 u- w; L% M. p v! |
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 ( f. _$ a$ w) c8 ], t2 ?3 R
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
5 p' K$ [3 D0 ^# CWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
A$ |+ l4 D* V, `) s( IHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
6 h5 \" ^" I/ M! {- w' ZMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
+ @8 r( y5 B6 I; _Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
# X& J7 o \6 @0 q5 G4 K! LHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) & H& C. k& Q9 J3 F
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) ; @- w* p& l2 S- u7 j* }# J
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
! S5 h5 J$ a2 Y# Y% i# C' CWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) - I3 j9 Z& T" U& b8 r0 e
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
' J' A: W. i. `( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) % [- i, @' a5 L) F T
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! I8 C j$ V( _' }总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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