 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
. z9 S: E0 ]6 j! y+ sWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
" h- A. b1 R/ F/ p7 F% j H" p( U nHolmes: I just picked it up.
, }$ t$ [; }9 I! \Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) 6 G$ l# n8 \! L3 Z
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
) g, E! r8 c+ K6 JWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
0 c3 d; U4 V8 u# O" MHolmes: You did.
" ~1 r( A: x2 D9 X! _. S6 ^; a4 ~: _(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
4 t7 F" T! g0 Z, F1 t' d% D# OHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 & n! H- V6 R& B" j, @
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.& O* U2 j4 p' a6 V m. @* V
Holmes: Granted.6 b0 [1 w. [! v
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2 |+ Z( ]) G% X6 g/ J+ |2 I晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
& t7 S. C4 ]0 j( c" ?Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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3 J. |& j( t; P9 z2 G8 W拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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. M0 t4 A, Y5 {% K0 o8 z# ZWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 & u; E" g6 L' r
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) - r) N" u8 _( p3 ?" \$ p. a
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: k) _- ]. K9 y3 b% }: v& s3 j! PHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 " ?; t* n& c3 L" s J- C
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 6 z! q: V; Q# s' _' I4 \5 U' ]
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# ^- f; }% r& c$ KIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 1 J) f. ^6 R( P% Y6 Z6 S8 S# `- O
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) # r* | v5 Z5 l1 {' b
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?) P% X' T0 ?6 F5 |# N0 ^( c( i4 u
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
3 E/ _$ b$ N" |! q2 QIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.: ~7 k' I7 Z# m- O! G) M
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* F R1 `4 W( d k% P- L8 S3 CIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 8 S& K5 A9 ?; P9 u, r
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
) o3 z+ ?* r& @& n9 h: \' x5 MWatson: Get that out of my face.) M5 Z2 B& B% o/ u
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand., q+ }; y* P5 g( q) W0 |
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.* e+ q G. Z4 E" q. t% O3 ?& o8 {3 ^% X
路人警官 Clarky上场。 0 x U6 V j; z X, r8 u3 _
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
9 j" G: h# o0 o1 p$ Z% }/ `Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) $ C( k9 t6 K, N; Y
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
- E7 F: t6 v) p$ g" h) l2 q+ bWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?7 Q& J( b2 ~& F) g( g
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 " Y$ l7 r7 W. t# @
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) ) `+ P b6 b* A
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.+ K, A3 P& C2 @3 d2 Y n
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) ' C: w& j2 z( l; |
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A+ H5 @9 N) c7 K河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 " p2 V0 O1 {: n9 A) U: F4 o9 f
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 2 ]! b& o# J w% g$ F: s# F
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
# K) W) M0 ?0 e$ ]# }+ \( RWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) + x* a3 \- W5 `
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
3 t# B( H5 `, QHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) + l6 J1 v7 d0 r+ N+ I% y
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
1 r6 o. p/ Q6 k2 L; J' R. bHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 6 X g( n% F: O2 t- R7 G& ^3 O
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2 |; \+ A O& s8 x2 f+ g警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
/ _8 W- ^3 z& r$ e4 WLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.* G! m5 c' w2 c
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+ m0 f. A+ j+ N接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 8 `0 C6 x( ]9 E2 }' @
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
( D+ p1 g6 }2 x. s& [$ Z+ ]Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
/ ^- a# u7 k: z* t4 V% |Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) $ ?* Z& I7 E9 {# ^% F+ b6 O& I5 i
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
5 X$ l' A$ f. t* L6 TMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?4 z0 ?' Q, }, G. _
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
& a5 e* c2 [8 i. SHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
, g' y9 H* k7 {$ r& M; Q, BWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) , E% T4 T1 C; z, \' g6 b5 H
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
, o. F1 @% ^8 xWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) 9 p5 Y7 ?) Z0 q4 u
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
, f- ~- h8 E; m! z, [( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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8 M" S+ G5 z" o1 f- i总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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