 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 ! V3 [5 |# T3 ]( S* T6 Z; j% _
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$ [% p/ j* j# x9 n. _5 _2 o) l影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 2 K" i- L- |5 ], \7 N0 ]
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
4 _3 A T. l0 iHolmes: I just picked it up.
/ S0 F( b9 k( M$ V" xWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
+ W. G8 s9 Y" ~; _Holmes: Knew I forgot something. O0 Z! K! ~+ e% \: O
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) & _% G/ \' C1 o6 C+ E4 A
Holmes: You did.
3 N _5 M- J# X M+ Q. E& R' m(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) $ o' s8 T0 V$ Z: n$ B9 D
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
/ V0 o4 e7 w2 A! W" n5 B: xWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
$ B! H6 m" R5 a) t3 MHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
9 g, n7 l0 g2 f' f% JWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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# Z' K: m) L) q: A1 `5 o拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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6 J! z, h/ K3 K2 Y! dWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
" m: |6 p' [! s5 y8 v' y7 HWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 6 U. K9 X6 t8 x9 j
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* y( C0 {9 R7 q% X- aBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 + E+ j* z- t# b( Y, l6 |5 q
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
P6 y- d; j5 ]4 |5 @+ @Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? `2 a& _& ?6 a& {) [9 W
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
5 c* p: `( g# E+ f3 E5 i% t- {Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope./ L5 g; l! j$ k- p% B
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
; O! g$ {* u* q9 A7 jHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 5 A; { u6 c+ O4 |( o6 X+ ^
Watson: Get that out of my face.
2 X0 Y" y9 U% H' s% uHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.' g2 y- I9 B+ \8 t& [. A
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
# `( H. V. o5 S0 l5 e/ Y路人警官 Clarky上场。 8 n0 @2 F0 J# A
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.3 T7 W7 Y1 r6 B2 \
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) 9 o. E1 h# e/ D2 C1 c% o
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
& F! r# R. n% X) i! A: o$ q+ Q4 kWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
- v2 S& L2 F, Z7 G5 EHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.# o4 X& H1 j8 H
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: L) E# g* n- x4 l! ?# b墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 ! Q5 E+ h0 f, L1 j) j, p1 C1 X, `
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 2 l# x4 E* U7 U7 {
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.6 M; d, K. Q3 z( r; x3 \
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
3 L, F2 ~; k) f# p8 h3 X2 e5 f3 DHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
, [- i, n b, H9 |# eBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
) ?+ Q4 M$ K5 x" R3 r% yWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
4 h$ K l! J$ x死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 6 Y, i) _0 R( X2 l2 y/ r
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
4 H# l7 t! [; \& F4 w9 ~1 e2 ~后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
8 d1 F3 O1 n XHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) |: J, h: [& w) G$ H) o) u
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J* Z1 g. I! h8 Y& f警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 2 Y+ J8 C3 x# F3 Y' K, L* Z
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.7 ?6 O- G, w) h0 u. C$ [9 E
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
( R( W& r: [5 I话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
% n. [" O. Z6 N [( \! \0 ]; q% A2 hHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
$ Y& g$ v; z3 X2 R! QWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
: ]+ m( ]4 r9 ]% T6 b% {" L( nHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
& h2 F% A2 g, R; ]- z% ~( JMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
5 f, W4 t4 b' ^6 RWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) 6 E9 E8 G" S$ w* i- Y0 [
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
5 q) {1 g% I5 J+ K0 N& `Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) : [% C2 ~0 B9 s# H+ r
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
+ U5 G8 s; v5 C) FWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) 4 q$ m. K1 o1 T6 _
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) ! ?, _& ~6 e; a* h
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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. t% m7 U0 @ X* w( j- X& p总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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