 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 ! x$ L7 C* G) y( B$ z$ J! ^
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4 X& A0 C% x8 F1 i2 s影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
2 F1 a) R2 a; F) FWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
5 M) ]% v( z; Q' M+ }# ~Holmes: I just picked it up.2 J1 m& N/ N% i4 X: F8 x
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
: \" K- O" h4 y/ Z v+ P! y0 WHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
+ R: J6 C: u7 B1 IWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
7 x- r A) u. Y; B) W' m1 JHolmes: You did.% h, B8 I7 C O: F1 T
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) ; \- z* W+ l: q* Y4 M4 T- h$ P% C
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.. r% \/ ? Z0 R& Q- g4 L* \+ H% m% t% a
2.
4 d; W2 G4 w$ T+ B( ~1 I9 O宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 7 p r# q( O' |* I( k* E
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.5 \( ?# k: J1 K( \7 |( m5 r' a6 j6 J
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 2 h I6 ?0 i, X7 R" Z
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) S! p/ X: r5 C
4.
: X; l" {" z6 M" R K- c T9 K! w5 x拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 + K1 M. R3 j( N4 V6 n
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+ ~: c9 v$ R8 O; P9 MWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 ) w1 W% W& U/ P+ Q) O, `
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 3 B/ ~+ b- b# n; p; _
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6 n; a9 B& R5 Z* m' R# n MBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 6 o/ w% J( }1 @6 h
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& p+ N4 {0 L- i3 a0 ^Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
9 U$ v4 }, M0 i( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
0 a2 H3 {% V8 z" vIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
' u7 D" v0 V% I2 xHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) % }0 `# {! Z* o- V! r: f
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
, d6 j ?7 ?2 Q6 j+ _, XHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) & W' m7 `0 z" m& i' _) D
Watson: Get that out of my face.' N; V9 g3 u6 c6 b4 `3 C$ U
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
$ j: a( @5 N3 O# E+ u( g2 wWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
- Z1 t' Y3 }1 p7 p, F8 A) S- f. O* c路人警官 Clarky上场。
% g3 d% n3 G0 S8 X% o- }+ d, q HClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
& B9 t$ u, j) z8 vHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) ) u: I$ Q+ x5 O* G A: f
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 " V' p# S1 H# q/ k, [# o$ U
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?4 e, n: f# l- U3 h; }# w
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.+ W# d0 l- j6 ?% w+ ?4 o
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 ! P5 P3 P7 V$ x' w4 n& N8 Y# p
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
* P9 ~- |5 S1 _ l, hHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.$ [0 o+ q7 D7 g$ R
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) " o: W) Q$ g9 g3 n( [4 }# s4 t
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 " {) m6 {7 a+ y% y5 F7 `
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
; v8 M! `; g. }2 _Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
' T* o9 m& Z& V5 T- Z& t: zWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
/ `# D7 w& e' c* G3 s E. T/ j0 U3 ^死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
: r. s: |& P* g9 wHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) 5 \- I0 G+ B, t8 Y, I, L1 F
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
/ N+ o+ U3 b7 HHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
+ N7 i! P: {0 f/ x: ]; aLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
# H* D( ?& I2 i话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 9 o( b( s3 ]8 U3 n
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 6 @3 c8 s" W) ^1 P" [0 z4 C
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
$ g7 u: G+ _" Z: N' FHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 7 f* J& i6 P; q! ^
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
0 R/ y; L y' ~1 W0 @, zWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
3 ^% x1 e; I; J+ Z3 i) EHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
/ T6 W8 g& c' Q. O; ~" {5 xWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
m+ R! [3 _4 KHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) % }% j# X# x& [- o0 D
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) I* X5 T1 r6 x( C/ K& B$ E9 J+ w$ b
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) ' f- ~; V) Y! F5 F1 R1 X0 r
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) * l) l1 n- a v3 ?6 O
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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