 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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9 D8 E# @6 Q% K# U" D) W影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
4 J: F$ E' J1 S' {Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) ) c9 _# T8 F2 n1 s! S2 k6 M! S m
Holmes: I just picked it up.
7 y, D* X+ M0 ]1 N' DWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
. G* _9 Y( d0 d1 }Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
: y8 {* D' h$ x; N: A( H6 g( d+ GWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) 2 y" A2 H. M2 b( N
Holmes: You did.
* u. W0 v* B, w C(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
2 ?' [. A. v' I1 S" Q+ C+ EHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.* [; w4 u0 m9 D. d: p
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
$ U s$ y) P8 r# D+ kWatson: Permission to enter the armory.- y b1 r! u& n. k# d
Holmes: Granted.
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/ S1 g1 ~7 y8 o0 F& M( @晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 + E1 g9 T G1 z# U1 |9 x
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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$ b' n5 ]' v* @- t8 K T0 p拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 8 T0 l3 u$ s2 F/ F" L9 X
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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; v* d' k, M% F0 ] Q% ?- lBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
) _) h, } c4 ^* A) p( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) - Y' U8 N! i }& }! n/ o7 I
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?( ~' c6 _; o! K, d d) Q
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) , j: F7 s, _5 T( U/ ]+ V+ K
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.4 a1 G5 c/ ~% I \- J$ ]
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& j" g5 ]' G5 W' C' `8 HIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 . n# v7 M7 i2 S0 Q, ^5 w1 N4 s
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 9 v0 s U! k) ~! p5 n2 B5 `5 Q
Watson: Get that out of my face.! p6 y# }+ N, _5 X; [4 h
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
]$ d& H) k& P$ x; _; q- rWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
; F( a4 V0 F. n! W6 o# c路人警官 Clarky上场。
# u' T c; ?0 @1 g" E& e! uClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.0 e4 n, A& `6 r( k4 b
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
- l7 M% p1 `$ I3 ~得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 8 t+ l2 O* z5 \, q U! _
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
; n: Z( B' v6 M3 W! m* A9 m& z7 NHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
1 W5 Q; `+ h& G: _0 x( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) q- e6 G' y. `
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.( p& j4 @0 v; J J7 Z
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) # m1 M$ Z3 l! N8 k5 _
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: D8 R- O( W5 h" e/ |. y河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
% K$ F" y* B# x! |. ^3 IHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
% W& O/ u3 r& zBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
8 C( ]* v+ p9 R7 A7 @1 U$ h! IWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
$ V5 h. [& r5 ^$ Q" X死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
: Q# A- x/ O4 Q |: g! GHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) - r4 h; {: N$ Q) h8 \' z" S
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 / R) P5 G! L& o) _' r
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 5 l% R# n! L! U1 @' u/ j
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$ Q: Z. P' U& t& Y警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
* h9 e9 ^) T) A' b6 w4 ]$ H9 S$ z1 rLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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2 U5 Q" l* J- A% F接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 0 E+ O8 t& C% f8 m
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 7 r- j- n; S* E- ]: Y3 @& i
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 5 d2 g, J9 ^ T3 c
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 1 H l3 L ~. ~1 v& A7 e; J
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
6 l4 b) O# Y$ h1 x W7 x VMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?4 ]' @' x# v! O4 I" l; b
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
1 N8 T \& K8 W8 i6 n3 VHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) % S+ }7 R( x' ~" d) g* t" c& X
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 7 m8 y3 s+ | T0 [
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
8 z1 \/ _2 {) ~Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) & k/ ?8 s9 b, s8 J
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) ! ^# C9 b- G+ Z" i
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) % x/ \8 X0 B6 l6 S8 D g$ j0 x
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2 d$ B8 N- @% K# g& p/ z6 N总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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