《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 4 L& Q* N( F" X4 X$ Q; y- e*********** 1． 2 @! [2 x; o! U影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） % k& h4 z6 A: [  k. H, cHolmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） / L1 W6 L* j. u3 ~& ~Holmes: Knew I forgot something. 7 k; p0 Q1 k) y1 j2 P$ s, X; ^Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. # U. ?1 g* ?& L" K5 I& ^8 J9 ?2 b（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． 9 T: c2 d! u* e# E2 I0 w" e# Z宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. + p' `, P& v4 h! F3 ?* J3. 1 i* [( ^4 x/ i+ S4 P3 X7 D晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 1 A# g' X) T0 _+ x! ~4 J4． + |8 W) G4 G6 l& S; A- v拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 1 |6 i8 X) \. y3 m: P7 I5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． ( N1 i$ P! a6 b, s3 }Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． % J( u; E, }7 G. g* LBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 / ~8 @" z+ c. t: A4 x7 v8 ?& V6 u8． + R2 A1 U, J) [5 w7 bIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 5 X+ @% ]3 Y, J* R- M（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? - g9 p2 @  J) D/ ], FHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． . [$ R( K/ k/ E% QIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. 5 q  }9 s* q' d: _+ J% XHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 5 A6 l2 [& M( q- h: U; eClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 # V- B" ^0 w7 _2 R4 h" J" H+ ZWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10.   v: w4 K. ^8 R( G" a墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. 1 c" A- C& G: K+ R5 K/ T# s* cWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 8 }! d8 }2 N' u+ f5 M11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 / z/ Y0 w( f6 DHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） 8 s: }3 i0 a' Y2 W7 H* lBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 7 t0 R0 F2 z2 m+ o7 a- ]( W死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． % x' ^3 y5 }" s: w. C& r警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 7 n: G3 x* g. y( ?Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 1 _/ A1 p, h% f& @3 {, S, M13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 . h& r- E1 P1 K3 h' D话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 4 l: o/ ~; q' m# U9 G" V' nHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） 4 [# F0 A6 ]7 Y( yWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） + v- j" z. z% A1 k1 UHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? : h0 J" M. l! P0 x: c, Z( SWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）   L! A1 a& f$ Q0 eHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） 1 O# o: V4 Z% O*********** 5 W8 N  l2 m* N2 y2 v总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……