 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 , I( E6 u3 t- z- T# `
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6 J7 Z/ J% E* G1 }影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 " Q0 x. m) U F8 G4 t
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) 9 c; w+ K0 [$ ?: H0 I
Holmes: I just picked it up.; H; j3 `' m2 U {& [- m! _6 ]
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) 2 E# [( ^& C* d5 B y
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.9 k# B4 k% W. i$ {+ i" v( `" `2 C
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) + r0 W& }1 ^% G; ?
Holmes: You did.- Z+ T- I* C) i6 i) E1 [0 \
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
8 G- i# H7 [% R+ g6 `% m0 \Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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2 T0 h: K7 V. \0 I* _宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
8 c& }7 y" A, {# R. N& n! v8 GWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
/ O: t. G1 k$ H9 q0 m: x' JHolmes: Granted.6 |. J, @4 Z& J
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 / {% k- D. M/ u( X% }& y2 s; _( @' C
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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! H$ s3 I( m& v. I3 N4 ]( u拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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! A7 _0 g4 l& o* m }3 }9 t! A' lWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 4 l5 y, a9 V8 D. {
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) ( E _/ {, @; Q$ E& `. f8 d
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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: r/ m, e9 F# D$ m5 W' a9 zBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
* n. v# ~% G9 Y$ p2 W( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
0 `& d% t$ u& e0 aIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
+ }4 {5 X6 i' F/ GHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
7 V% H2 K4 A" Z! fIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
4 W7 c/ y6 H/ ^5 O$ KHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) ) u |" O+ n; d* E" i( i y H
Watson: Get that out of my face.
' i* {+ @, U: T: a6 o1 P1 `Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
" {5 b9 v' x! F+ d' ]' e rWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
- I* K* Z9 A6 X; W3 S# [路人警官 Clarky上场。
' {1 v3 W$ S% \* C# W$ t7 A) B! ]Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.- c0 o% v9 W: Z
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
s+ P/ U8 H" U( h1 Q0 @1 U. L得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
[& E1 _8 C; c8 zWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
" l+ A6 @, Z5 M7 wHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.% b( o4 s/ W7 Z5 U7 N6 c
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
! k2 z& u- ?5 I- J! R( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 4 d2 [4 ~; z; y& N) j5 O X" o6 \
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
5 T, L! [5 i4 S& ^! VWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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: I# ?+ n/ D: X4 l河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
% O2 ?3 G# |: z# aHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
' _7 A. q* \: @/ K6 H1 I; FBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…0 [$ j- a: B7 N4 B
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) + v! m. r4 U9 d' s" t* p; \
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
2 v+ P8 `1 k9 GHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
' V/ C" H( l! h$ r- _ L3 X后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
$ c8 D) z3 I9 s: h9 e# w) ~Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) " T, K: X) K* p5 C
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" C q" Y. Z; a3 c/ I警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 6 n1 `! I/ i4 d# g1 P9 V0 P5 M# \! q
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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( {7 i7 H& \/ b' w- N& { j* i3 t接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 8 ], t4 A/ H r0 | d
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 M: z* e1 E+ S- j! k2 w% V
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) % s1 v+ G, R3 V2 j1 I2 Q i
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 0 K6 P* K. E- @9 B3 W+ G
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) % V& ~3 ^/ y) y
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
4 M$ y3 W: U7 mWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) 2 Q) |* J( N/ O% P( Y( e3 }) y
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) ) Z5 w' @7 |) y7 a4 q
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
' M/ W8 Q5 B% a x, p$ QHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
* o; E) f6 _/ mWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
! J" k: j ]" n7 lMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) C+ p, `- U, A$ ^
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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1 m# L4 n4 @0 L: ]" e总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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