《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** 1． ) b# \( f- Q" J2 }! |3 A影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 ) Z  M, d. U0 a: E+ x* U( s5 J0 r; @1 kWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） - K* V& e, u6 a& I3 AHolmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 8 f0 j; S& G( c& O4 ]' c2． % K& u" F! d* w/ |宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 ' _% \* V+ h8 d5 e0 O  _: j# ~0 h; A3 [Watson: Permission to enter the armory. 1 c; B0 U: S; d& d6 lHolmes: Granted. * j4 v; S9 L: q) ^) {/ P% G3. + I% T+ Y5 R+ v. V晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． # u# D  q2 V( l2 s  n拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 , h# _( m+ C1 G" z5 J8 y# m: i5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 ; }' U; `, X0 C$ B$ tWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． ' T& W" E9 K9 p4 N, |0 Y! _! E6 NHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? 5 ]+ G# Q; ?4 Z" ]; vHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） ' Q3 w0 r; ]% W* @* x) M1 P( ^7 ^$ M' UIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） / |( s+ D- d9 {' d* ?( d4 ]( ZWatson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 6 s% H" F/ S0 w5 p* ^; \路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. * |9 r  @* G2 K: u7 p6 M( {- fHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? & n$ ?7 @3 Y) d& a8 e' O2 G6 ^Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 0 G2 N+ w$ t5 V4 }4 r; Y# i. Q10. 0 l, _% n8 v# `% Z: `" L, o墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。   @3 C4 c  d% W7 e% p2 y& O（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） 6 H& I& v7 D( X7 W# m8 a# y8 D/ CHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. 3 [$ E' R$ J" K6 _Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） ; T1 g! Z1 I! A. c3 ~7 O# q) U11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 6 F% Z2 A- A$ C/ M& B9 HHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） 8 U" N' A$ b: n( e. GBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…   f8 c  O4 x# G+ ^2 o. O5 p/ kWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） , k, S4 @1 M( f后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） ; a5 H, C7 ?$ Y/ ]6 r( ]. F12． ! L5 m, I% q& ]$ ^7 v警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 + D' Z# D& y# ]" C$ ]Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 . e& k  ^5 Y( V9 f0 D话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 9 m2 L4 j7 P5 T, v, ^& E$ c$ uHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） 1 K. t+ A' c$ JWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） ' R# a2 ]. U, K0 O( u# WHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） , h1 k9 J& y7 Z4 ^/ P, Y1 BMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? 2 J( o7 v" A4 X' R& Y( SWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） 3 }2 ^9 J; D3 H( G' |+ a& PWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） + `" [3 ~5 i3 C0 TMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） " R" \3 e1 A* F8 q*********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……