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《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

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洋扬 发表于 2010-3-19 02:24:07 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是Holmes,不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay- J  g5 v% b- U1 N8 y. I4 C
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影片开头,Holmes启动Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的ShrelockWatson一同制服了另一杂兵。
6 x. i2 A2 I+ _8 V4 O( dWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)) I" F" Y# N0 B8 w9 e1 ?
Holmes: I just picked it up.
2 C  {" u2 B4 g. wWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)- c& ^: f0 L8 s0 h, B
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.* l5 m. f; i4 U
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)3 z5 Z- O4 p8 z
Holmes: You did./ M+ {+ k* k! t/ z
(注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
: b! g" G8 c7 `8 ?) a$ |Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。WatsonHolmes的房门。
0 m% L: k/ a* W. q; HWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
+ b. L+ Z, P5 L  sHolmes: Granted.6 @" J" U4 W) \
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
# P/ q* z+ ~2 a# \Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词:very mature。)" e9 v7 }5 f3 u
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拳击场那段(Holmes启动Combo Strike之前)的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。' _( K) B$ z# I
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WatsonHolmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。, I' l% |% p; `& X) H5 H4 K
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)4 o$ p/ V1 S$ R; x& f
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Holmes去见Blackwood时,Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。, T1 M9 ~; C( e: M
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Irene(就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终boss)的委托来见Holmes6 A7 h+ X# a8 s  |2 Y
Irene掏信,Holmes惊慌失措)" b" d# Z2 _" E
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?  I/ y" ~) F! ~. v; @$ g. r
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。)2 V, ~( D+ v+ r3 }& m
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.# Y9 L) n/ l: x0 \# \0 Z! N" h! F
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0 T$ v* ]( |: U: }5 E$ y1 x9 HIrene离开,Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕IreneHolmes,建议Holmes远离麻烦(leave the case alone)。7 P+ E8 N" ]: O( M7 L' z, p& H" v
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。)
  A% g6 N/ e, A: gWatson: Get that out of my face.
1 M- O% ~1 }, V2 w: {Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.! U; T" a) }7 B9 P7 t! n9 L
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
# e7 x3 [" E8 f; K4 s' F路人警官Clarky上场。; d* x4 q! x2 {: H) }; d' l" L& f
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once." t9 k% }6 y3 |
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
2 {9 _* s$ q4 f; k' u得知Blackwood死而复活后,Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
! p/ e2 ?* {3 EWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
1 o  a; O9 |2 p8 v! OHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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; c% o/ z4 g9 s) d; J墓地勘查后,Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母,Holmes独自调查死者的住处。# D( ~- w- D/ F+ X: t: u6 U
Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。)' @; [* t1 D2 s) M8 l
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.7 p9 i: [7 p! f; g/ o" l9 e
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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5 d) Q! ?8 L" ~3 B6 }3 o河边屠宰场,Blackwood13地出场后。3 f% l* m6 B% k" g2 E
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
, M; W2 E2 {9 Y. S5 M) B+ aBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…- W7 O9 e0 {9 L+ p
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)$ B$ X+ C9 l: Y3 e6 I7 b
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了SherckIrene
" h. v. M. V7 P, }' ?! bHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
; ]! R) ]/ E7 D. _+ B; A7 Y  j" b后来解Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。4 q9 |1 {/ Q& t: M
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)/ q  ], u9 n, B0 A( E4 t! K
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( N" \5 u. O  }- _, E  W警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
4 ?% i% m: N$ L0 Y- R+ oLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.! x, p7 C; d& i# W, L' D
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& b" ]. Z6 c+ l2 A5 l接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。* F' R4 H  R) R5 |) ]5 U/ O# N
话说Watson和未婚妻MaryHolmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。% \) X! H6 c7 W7 V  X
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟WatsonBut it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示Watson放他下来。)Good afternoon, dear. (向Mary问好。)
# f( G8 L2 `) h/ i- e9 ?- E8 _2 ?( cWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)' p$ p7 n+ V( M2 T
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示Watson放他下来。)% k# w6 z) m. k6 p6 Z+ c- Y! I
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
* l9 K2 g+ {" U: l" MWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
( Y% D. Y: p' c: d) k, g/ Z& ^Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)( T3 u6 G8 N8 R; m/ K
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。)
2 S( [9 M8 ?$ uHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
9 Y8 T& j1 b  \Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)- V9 D. a& o+ w
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)6 W3 Y3 o0 L& T8 n5 x! J* ~
WatsonHolmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……

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