 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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1.
; h" \1 Y0 j% y# W影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
$ F& o' b0 j1 z! }* S+ I" {Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) 5 e/ Q* Q: l- I. a7 Y: A
Holmes: I just picked it up.
' H) d, M% g& Z1 O* T: s0 QWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
1 M5 Y- }* t& s* Z, oHolmes: Knew I forgot something. v5 \# y2 y2 `( d. K7 D
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) ( w+ u I" M$ @7 }+ \8 U' j
Holmes: You did.
$ N R" _: [1 J5 v3 m8 i' A(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) # n9 I; k4 S- ]- k
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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+ a. C3 u$ P" }# t宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
& T: G% M5 s/ e3 nWatson: Permission to enter the armory.* Z7 }" }* y3 C+ _) e
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
4 T5 I- |1 i% ^Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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! [- L2 J' U) ?7 W拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
* h+ r; o: v9 M5 m5 M! M+ Z3 fWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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6 A" m/ R% B% ]4 S. hHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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2 j; {( X3 @ F& G1 Y/ ~+ SBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 1 @, Q- [( V. k) K
8.
$ F! A2 ], a u9 LIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 3 V) @- r" }6 r Y+ t8 q
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) $ t- \0 a4 X6 a% I: D: x
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
: i/ J1 b" m/ C9 n1 |, ~5 Y9 NHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) ' b* f1 w5 G% R! T$ X) `
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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- O- i" S6 t. V, vIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
" ?( k; p; M5 W: w9 g# iHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) " v: l! T3 z3 X/ C5 t
Watson: Get that out of my face.
0 a7 f# w& R3 x0 [& q; O1 YHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
& d; e% m) N9 {9 j) QWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.5 L: K+ A0 V+ j5 ^1 Q; W+ i/ C3 C
路人警官 Clarky上场。
+ b) h. I$ S9 N+ a" jClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
" y' J, {; g/ P' d* lHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) & a0 `! ?! V2 `. h$ p! m3 z
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 , G3 i3 z2 M6 q3 A
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
( m/ n9 s2 T2 S. P- t4 cHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.) A* g- k3 ^& H$ o5 L6 a
10.
' J$ o. O: ^9 ~' L墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
6 c( v n$ O5 O) h3 o( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
* P# b, v0 ^, y7 _$ g yHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.8 ?1 l, m2 O% \( L
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) ) l" c# ^/ `5 x" m" X9 ]
11.
# D. b' L) h6 n, w3 ~$ \. s1 O河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 2 }* J6 Y8 E; ]( s! i
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) + H6 l8 k* s+ }& M
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…; r( d" w8 | q0 u3 m. W! n2 v
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) ! }8 S6 J. E- [" ]! O
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
/ m$ O9 q. W. `# x/ M4 V) X! w& B. CHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) # C; O/ ` `4 N
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
) A: P, {7 r7 @2 D+ W* ^Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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+ H3 T3 @9 S8 R" h警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 : f8 v x& A& D+ F, H
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
, L' t% Q N* g& H话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 : ~) ^ g* ] n$ @
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 2 ^+ {8 h# h+ {
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 0 }5 P) B, Y' u+ ]! `
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
1 ?, ?+ I, ]: P( d" FMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?% y" e4 E' G% ^
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) 1 I. }0 A2 e# V" {" Y" L
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) % L" s7 j: p4 q4 I4 }% D* ^; N
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
! H' }/ r; I ]+ z1 K9 qHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
% ?' U& T3 D; L# r9 P$ }5 `8 PWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
$ v2 _: p: i% p- j- X5 q6 JMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
$ M2 v' |1 I% j$ t* c) ]3 s6 g' g( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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. R$ z0 ?7 \6 ^% Q' v y总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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