 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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8 l# H% G+ A. H, [( D( i影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 ) d3 k- H, c: h$ _+ i6 ]# J% A3 A0 [
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
; F- U2 |7 [! C G) O( F9 GHolmes: I just picked it up.
! m, K. S4 p, o$ \! lWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) ! q1 h; A& H3 W8 E% Y* q9 y* L
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
) d0 o9 a. @( a1 _4 d7 f. w) fWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
" C" t" W6 h7 M9 t/ \Holmes: You did.
, T: X. V) l& R2 P. l* P(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) | M9 R# Y1 i, _
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.* j2 U& V5 ^' r
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7 x2 Z9 S6 ]1 o: s9 _$ g6 S宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 - a6 q3 m6 H* }% j; ~" n% S
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
6 [. l9 N' v* ]2 d( o6 rHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 ; x U, Z/ C: @# `
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 1 `& l* ?/ L5 e, }
4.
' P0 @) X. u+ ~拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 / m8 b/ N$ O" m2 I1 @ [' V
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# V* p3 M0 B- ]- zWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
G! j! e7 Y2 K! t0 I! n3 a! {Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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, c! W I) q0 F* oIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 9 y) M' u. D8 H0 V% N" c
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 8 t: G8 B) P/ {& g, F3 K7 ]! N
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
' Z) n; i$ o7 g2 p+ B& h: ]Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
) Q h! @$ x. w& {# s$ P: y4 |1 o3 JIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope./ Y8 J/ M+ s& C2 _% w M) C+ z9 x
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
" p" M( X; e9 d. K' OHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
& y+ M' x; L3 K- y! i9 rWatson: Get that out of my face.5 ~7 A: e/ w3 i( O1 {3 u
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
5 t) ^/ j/ x Z7 G: W; c' f$ IWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
8 {/ V; f& R; y2 i6 f% t" Q) J路人警官 Clarky上场。
. |8 x4 R8 H3 d$ X: H6 ]2 O/ ?Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.. N# u; _' ?" y7 P* o. _7 R
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) 3 \ _3 c$ h! b2 s- V i% p1 v
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
, a$ j, y! j9 A6 sWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
6 u* ]/ t/ a3 q/ ?: NHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.- Y4 O5 n4 \7 P/ ?0 D: R7 `
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 ; t3 y) B6 x( q; u x8 X. e3 A
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
0 O3 z G. W* q6 F0 i2 Q5 F4 I; UHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.; }9 j5 V: N3 @" m) R L0 \
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) / }. ~: W9 ?' x g3 m
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
2 A" Z( D) U, c: |: R6 G8 }8 W6 P2 ^Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) ; M' R3 W; ^- b# M4 d
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
* v3 i' ^. Z% d( `/ _" {Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) ?8 e: m5 p! B9 y+ D' v; l/ P
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
/ n3 t# n) r9 z- E9 W1 W0 XHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
s& @) }1 u6 ?. L$ S后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
6 b" p* M2 D7 \Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
+ _. l1 e2 a" \+ `2 mLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.6 w" g/ [1 p6 O7 T& u% a
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 9 F; B# }9 K9 F% i B; o9 r' b
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 : L" S2 V/ e# T9 _: o" y: g) n
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) ) D. R" b4 O$ C8 Z# b- E1 w- M
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) ) B: u( v% Q- h
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
! w; W+ ~% o( iMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?& d3 ?( f6 w. c2 Y; e( \8 h
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) 2 z, W3 u# U: n& _
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 3 J" f& w) P6 ^$ N
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
$ ]1 X# P% J" B4 b) ]! bHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
# b* S( `: W6 @' E! }Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
9 y1 M u, k9 s6 }" \. ~, j$ e# uMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) 4 H, v) r; _; \2 a
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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