《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 3 W4 P& S% p, ^*********** 1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 3 ]9 `' S/ Q+ N0 K% KWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） 8 v. U0 {+ ]: c  p4 X0 r% cHolmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. 0 A) W6 l" q+ `5 x8 ]Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） 2 B6 z; Y. ^, \Holmes: You did. ! C% f" g! E5 J! G4 V（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） 7 Q  s$ s8 F( ~0 _& s/ FHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 7 ^, q- C6 o+ q# E6 l8 JWatson: Permission to enter the armory. ( d# F2 ^: b; B- d7 b, J6 qHolmes: Granted. % o) y" j6 s( V4 p4 ]9 F9 I3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 : W, f. Q0 t" aWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） ) Q6 ?) \% e8 R8 A4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 . m0 e, v" e( K" `, }4 v8 y5． " B- c7 A1 g* f' X6 u( P& JWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 3 V, ^/ O$ {  p5 m# O( _. h, ?7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 4 K9 U8 I! ]" N9 u. Q* d$ T4 n$ L8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） % W2 y! b* W* NIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? " V6 |& `% A! g  BHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 - ]' j& n3 R. ~$ ]1 C7 O( O7 CHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. 4 s6 c( B6 u# K: S0 r# \& `Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. ! u; X' T) x3 {! @  D( I! b! f路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. 0 `  L  h% z+ U6 I3 |# oHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 3 Y& ]+ }. [$ B7 {2 T10. % s5 ?4 q9 H' t3 c6 P墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 5 z. |. Q( e* `- c（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） - @5 G0 j& v" ~6 H11． 0 J# Z. w) h& O6 ?河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 , i- ~& \4 ]9 y' T* O  T  GHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． : n- f& [" W6 t7 M5 ?警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? 8 c! W/ N( \0 r2 v# H! oWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） 0 ~' V) V* [+ \3 N0 QWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） 5 b# l# r! E# MMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） - z. q+ Y4 y& p* N% i" F/ L% r8 z* S' C*********** 5 m: D& l+ _% E) R总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……