 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 4 X& R# Z- Z( ~6 d$ D; o- H
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
9 N; k9 w: \6 \% R/ fWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
C. J( }- f/ F! lHolmes: I just picked it up.% Z! b. R0 n+ s
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) . t7 K. c- V5 U4 [2 c+ L6 K8 g$ _9 C
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.6 |% I9 l) T' E) j
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
) `1 t, r# ? r. @: l LHolmes: You did.+ N- t$ [- U' L: J. U* ^, ]! I( Q. ?4 c
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) 7 e$ ^3 k8 P7 x- u
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 2 |, e# L5 |* X* F, E) x7 {
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.9 _ d4 G1 V4 y6 S4 a5 p
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
' x& ?5 g; h) z: H7 i; f1 ZWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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$ ~" F" U n+ m: _拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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$ k2 q8 M( S- i% L) n7 qWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 ( L+ i& B1 v2 L8 `, C0 c+ X0 n
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) ! z# X+ T, g& k9 H8 R) k# I
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+ S+ |$ K, v3 b$ {8 h: }3 b2 X" v1 jHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 " B6 ^/ z/ {' G) X$ W* ]# U
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, N* R: p6 U3 \- ~+ g) n3 SBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
3 ]0 k& ]8 T, s$ Z' m( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 5 |! s! r* W- g" `
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
+ V$ a1 J# ~! qHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
: L; P2 t. g, {# v1 qIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.8 q8 ]) A3 ~, Z1 b3 A: F
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 . T# Q. o/ Q, r1 v5 M h! i
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) ' b* {0 R+ V" y' P5 R$ Q$ W
Watson: Get that out of my face.1 [4 {/ ]' w9 H" z/ G" n
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
- _( G1 I* _( ~/ |: ^ D6 h" x" U% dWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
7 R/ ^1 D9 g/ G5 r+ F路人警官 Clarky上场。 ( }8 j i( n6 q9 B' j; F
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. K- c# w' U- J! \* |8 U
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) / G8 I0 q1 X a: M$ B9 i" ~
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 % p: M# ], S( v( Y
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?9 n1 J2 \$ ?6 \: ?3 j: n: ]
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
) e9 b0 q7 b7 z- y4 ~8 ?$ j- p& G' ?( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) # {( e5 y& u% ^0 n7 K) j2 g
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
* V1 F, a; Q$ b3 m9 g; r" hWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) % a- X! D0 ~# i4 X' ^
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 F" t+ R, X) i6 f$ f! m
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) , N, F$ {) f: H, i3 q
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…8 Z8 `1 z" i$ H* E
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) & c, _! Z9 U$ E |
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 ( }) _, }" s% C+ J& o9 O9 b
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) ( G" r* @/ Z6 v; O7 n' B
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
; ~, H; l; r' `/ gHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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; M- |2 g1 j) j5 J5 W/ {( ^警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 / W2 N% L2 w `8 u+ O
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.9 k7 M- @% o1 a- w: z/ }( i
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
4 }/ h8 Y3 @5 j话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 9 O) c/ D! d/ ^. m; e5 M
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 1 `% y$ y# p$ Q3 o( i
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) " Z( A6 o9 N% U& \. t
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) * E9 F3 H# ^$ c& y2 n n7 i
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? h e0 h6 r2 H/ X; Y6 @& E' J
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
. J8 r* A# I r/ P1 j% U* XHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) ( _) m3 v& Y: M7 w+ P* k
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
* y: u1 k+ Q. y1 r5 p, G3 {1 P# ?Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) % _8 L; f! I. \3 T8 O4 c1 |
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) $ p/ p& _5 B/ _( Y, L4 q8 E1 w
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) 6 c$ R, j! R# G5 z; X# I, V
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) / V) W ^" ~) R
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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