《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 , {* T, G+ z% t*********** 6 M0 J+ ]5 d& B2 d& `1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. # M* p5 S0 e$ J7 \$ TWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） - F% M- Y- v8 @, PHolmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． . `8 t; p9 c4 |3 F宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 " q( p( q" K6 LWatson: Permission to enter the armory. ; C; m% ]3 }0 @! U6 l3 P0 gHolmes: Granted. ) {! \: F1 C7 }3. 5 [( w- c8 `9 ~/ G) R$ b) ?晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 ( b. N$ ]5 J! \2 t2 U8 p. v" PWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） / z" w0 c! F% ?* ]4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 ' Z/ h3 ^# }# {# \/ y. lWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 7 l; D: Q! I; P- y& Q. m) j' ^% ~6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 ( f8 g  ^8 j/ f! U7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 , A8 k' g2 q& W% i, G  E8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） - c- y# S/ S9 ]; `$ S  d- AIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） ; G9 a5 m3 K+ t% {6 [6 AIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． 4 a" ^( E) w  \9 ]0 I& FIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 ' F+ i) n) X5 Z8 L. hHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） : b3 u* k* b% B$ iWatson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. - m8 Y4 V- u9 m: _Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） , h# Q3 T! U0 r得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? + |4 C0 D" n  C& mHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 ( f! M0 T! U8 B（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 1 X. L! r* d9 C11． 3 a% i, I! {% h河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 5 `4 i# X0 P5 n4 L' |2 {5 P  M4 OHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 9 Y2 ^' K- W8 f4 `. s& E后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 * }/ W# L; a+ i7 G) U, m% hHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． * N- m  C- F/ u4 S% {警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 4 i9 W' \, A# w# r% \Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. ) @% |" @1 w( K' Y$ C接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 0 i9 V" w" M) F: \6 h' `话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 ' V' u* G8 k4 `% R' uHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） ' ^. T, g/ W, _- J* FWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） ! _4 h: T/ H# Y: kHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） ( z% R$ k  r# [2 g) X2 K4 qWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） ' B& ], Y. ~: E; \/ c" P6 M（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） 3 o3 u1 U  J5 C" A2 i" M/ s) J*********** , b# q  B- D5 Z/ {! \  K  C总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……