 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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: I, m/ A6 m2 V; j7 e* d2 i2 \影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
9 Q& o w) V) S3 s8 `Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
, ?4 `' p+ i) G3 I. p2 NHolmes: I just picked it up.
: e* S9 }; u1 o) C: \( AWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) , `. A" L1 R5 w7 W* P% W) U
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.6 X4 L3 M& J+ K# V) n$ F
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
# C/ g& c* V0 t* k; a. Q9 f vHolmes: You did.
1 o; K, N9 w3 i( q4 F9 S(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
( ?' R( W0 B" D& h0 N$ e" M9 AHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.1 E; n# q. q8 K/ f: r* {
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1 ^+ Q9 n4 [8 W) V* q( ^宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
; {, c; d3 i# T) E" L9 j9 GWatson: Permission to enter the armory.0 `4 ]6 P# D+ s. `0 Z9 B* N9 W
Holmes: Granted.
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, f: X! `, U! w1 I* ^1 H晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 : L M j; o- i* G0 ~! f9 t
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
0 ]. R; ~* ^' O; F* }* |2 sWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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# t3 w" I: I1 c: ?0 D2 G5 W& WHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 `; F, W% g" n0 |5 Q. f
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& H0 D" X7 X$ b: L1 L/ lBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 ( }6 N) h7 y& r5 K% y
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 5 Y! ]0 x! ?& U" A8 C9 y5 J1 M8 k
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?0 n+ @$ F8 [( |+ I
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
( P- ?% t( M- u! j, f; ]9 [" lIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.; j1 o9 n& y) Q9 ^
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; S" b. [8 l. w% f: h8 j1 F" D$ {Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
0 m4 w6 g1 U* L3 z- p; s. v" yHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
, q" {2 l' [( \ {9 e3 SWatson: Get that out of my face.
1 l& D* F: c3 ?0 j7 }# q/ XHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.# t. t% v& J, c, ?
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. }& N4 U) o9 q1 h% w# A8 K* K
路人警官 Clarky上场。
# m6 |, x( R# F) fClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.9 i% N& _4 d+ L9 ?! g
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) ( W. W1 v$ ~! \" B% L+ }' ^4 g# `4 e
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 # C4 M4 f2 s6 L+ H5 X
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
- G2 V3 }, l( tHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
5 w8 a, N8 {" h, i, d( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
. W+ U, L! z: z7 B' I; ]& mHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.+ H5 b" ~- o. }) Y( ^2 x
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) - x7 _, D# _2 X) ~
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
- s+ _1 E+ p* E, x3 c$ e9 A& }- @Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 5 f, Z* t6 Q8 ~0 H5 v: q- x$ Q
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…( K; [2 @+ b) ?& s
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
$ x* S O0 z4 e% |; C2 `. `$ N/ @7 h死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
/ m+ r$ `( E* P! r& H$ B! xHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
7 M4 d! N7 T9 U0 R3 D后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
5 ?1 T+ s6 T o5 v- r4 G' zHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 0 N1 `2 O+ s- s( `& ?3 L
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 - t( V/ i# [ T3 d; v% q: X
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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1 f, d4 o% q' L$ F接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
; O4 S2 M6 t6 U/ f4 T) r# f话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 ( m/ t) Q/ r5 O! Y5 m' Y1 f) Z& o K v
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
8 L! j/ p- g W7 TWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) + [: P, |* @- |' f9 T
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
# P9 J! m2 v" q7 h& iMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?9 G5 A4 n# b* d
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) . l3 v4 P+ f# ^ h4 \3 y, j+ B
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) : V) ?0 V( M5 ^7 T
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
; Z% i7 ^$ W7 R; DHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) ; @1 n. k. f+ z
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
0 o! a% H6 t+ V; v: R9 RMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) , S! n+ |+ F7 \
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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