 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 , K' b+ i& U3 V3 `7 n
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
; j8 k' |5 k' C! K: \3 Z3 r# qWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
) w- b8 h( K4 M6 d7 p: _Holmes: I just picked it up.! S9 I( E+ J& c2 p" C' a# N
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
1 V4 o6 \: J. B0 K% XHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
. q. V1 `! T m$ ]+ Q# P& k8 `* J' @Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) 4 c3 u& x8 P, m" V$ o
Holmes: You did.
H4 c; j* V: e/ G(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) ( c2 K( s& }6 ?) k. E7 R
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.; P( ]( i n4 `6 t7 [4 g3 x
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2 h! {. Q- u5 E- i. u! L9 Y) w宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
7 m3 p, `) d4 j$ l) q* N& qWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
0 ~- C- F! P: U5 p: A: _# U4 YHolmes: Granted./ [$ T* R3 Z( P* | R
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
8 V- s8 d! C0 u, O6 V2 ^- X; dWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) & q0 J6 T: w& ?, ^/ f
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4 b1 [0 A: W. R" i' `5 S7 ^: h拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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; O: o, x/ A$ W7 g7 k+ IWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 ) w R F% s7 b" M9 A5 @
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) ; x* F x p% r f$ x% N
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& r6 w7 B( A' O9 @ }6 b# k U- YHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 4 Z; h# V+ g; L* }! o) l
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$ y) U& H) @% }/ X$ fBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 , F9 i4 d. A: l% y( q. h
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# d! T% z/ k4 P x& kIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 4 l8 T4 C5 L; B4 l
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) $ U! c4 w4 [2 s; m9 o, S2 ^3 ]9 L
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
- X7 Z1 t7 \* c; f4 y# _Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
) B1 b, s0 i `/ xIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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0 b- @' M) I8 d) ^) HIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 ( p) [3 Q6 M- f& ]
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
& k# E1 B! b, M# K8 z3 K/ eWatson: Get that out of my face.
8 K+ J7 h0 u N. X3 @1 }. T& ^Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.7 Q1 G, u6 w$ @5 t. V7 ?" `+ z1 c
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
" k d& A6 z, Z0 m& R9 Y路人警官 Clarky上场。
& F: {! f0 h- E& oClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.. ]$ G' w- d$ Q
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) 1 C9 y% I: C6 K1 }$ V6 H
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 % p/ n* |( ?) b5 j4 r
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
, ] v- Y' H( b! Z' Z; @$ N! UHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not." D" v$ O+ [$ I. z3 k2 Q8 I9 S6 ~
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
4 G- I1 q) w a0 j( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
" n$ p& V! L; u# AHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
1 q0 M# I7 h' R3 O2 t2 M6 E+ V6 MWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) 5 I( I% [' B, f( s1 \0 C
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
. @3 C; E5 v" [$ _$ Z5 ]: `Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
* J9 ?8 D5 u" ?# u; h$ {0 h/ sBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…! [/ I3 D' l! n7 q) ~8 ?
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) . n( M, d5 H4 w/ [9 M- c8 j
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
( B3 w2 v d! Q4 u- Y; s1 tHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
# G! C( N) P& d% m& C后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
) U7 l# }2 z/ O; T+ j; `+ PHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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. F! S1 i; V& k) s$ S1 N" l警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
/ t% |* c I" e: h5 nLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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/ q: r/ N5 v# n E4 V接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 $ s" q- u$ U5 a: F) p. Y) b0 M
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
+ i7 Y3 `" s3 \) K2 HHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
2 Z6 r. g- c, \7 C* v' {Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) - v/ u) `' \$ w7 n
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) $ P. a) A6 z2 M- D0 [0 P u+ W4 i
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
1 h+ }( x# O, C) I9 s& P2 w. oWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
/ C7 H2 f9 z8 q4 z; F3 c4 {Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
9 T4 X; ?+ M, ~4 w" l: M5 B+ C. E: vWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
' ~# P! i: K2 NHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
1 b: F8 p: T! ~; R& c4 ?" e+ HWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) # k R2 a6 ~' X; d
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) ; ?# L& O2 c# g1 ^- Q9 d2 C# R
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) - L! G" X$ K$ n) }
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" ~; {" y9 `/ F8 y" ?9 w总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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