《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 3 Q3 n( P- b( ]+ M*********** * q+ W( f8 j# n3 ^1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） ! l" |( T- P3 c9 n+ F$ EHolmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. 5 C$ p3 I& ?5 B5 `（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. % `4 P# M  L7 z) R$ r2． 6 ?1 \# r; g0 k; O宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. ; N# ?2 G+ B8 l% n( AHolmes: Granted. 8 m: q  n/ _( T8 `! ?3. & j  Y: m+ `" C) i8 C0 m5 k2 h晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． ' [  J9 w' {3 X4 `  T- G* ZWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 5 `- G  f5 c3 a' ^& `  B6． - Q% |5 ~, p. Q+ c/ c/ }/ \Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 2 {1 S" l- T, u0 A, K3 n4 S; z7． " x, Q, d  y4 Z& o: WBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 ' K$ I, H: n8 G( b. E, a) k( E（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） : T- g# H& \4 e0 b% q1 ^1 lIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） ; J1 G" B, d! y4 {Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） ) Q" J! `$ ?/ L9 ~( eWatson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. 5 x5 E, f% {* d: E; SWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 & [, e* I1 y+ E2 S  QClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. & W* p: P, K$ H' ?+ b& B0 u" QHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 8 D1 X8 L3 L/ Q3 SWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. ) S  T8 k; }' ~  y3 L5 Z+ O, D  G10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。   v0 j% U. o: {  X& N# T, A1 M/ q（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. , k" Y' F! T" O8 A% @% jWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 9 P, d: S  {' A1 j# A11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 1 m/ J$ d5 B5 N9 z. Z' U' [死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 ; w0 A  f  [( }" XHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 1 U" s% }# b0 J12． % v5 s$ w4 [; r6 t  m# n! B警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 * W. @# ^# E& }9 y& V! vLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. . X3 k  l9 Y2 t  C  x$ L7 g13. / ~- \( _* `( C) r, O: [- @2 d接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 6 b& K8 v; b( {, h话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） 3 |$ m# M6 o& a9 KWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） 7 ^( W. ?2 G/ B- W4 pMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） 5 K" z% t3 p, @# l+ HWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） + s9 Z- m- V0 YHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） $ O* b  T' E$ i4 F9 [$ RMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） $ D/ f! G4 Y+ R4 }（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** ( _7 S) Y) V7 ^6 n4 j9 c/ A! m4 K) P总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……