《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** 1． / [9 ~+ T. C7 ~7 Z影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 + E  M8 j# J$ e! p$ M( B8 rWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） 8 E4 ]2 M: Y7 ~" s% F- j6 ^Holmes: Knew I forgot something. ; R1 ], u) B" M5 A6 h* vWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. / b% ?7 C% O- s3 B8 Y) z) P, z* }1 L5 m（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 : Z7 p5 Z% J9 Y' W+ Z1 `/ ]Watson: Permission to enter the armory. " L1 T& `% g9 r. ]# i" yHolmes: Granted. 3. 4 g3 W  _; z1 \- ?晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 5 S4 }8 Y8 |- v& l* YWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 7 [7 P. g! I' V! K5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） ) m% m' R/ U! |3 r( `6 c6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． # A2 N8 C6 ~  DBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 ! t8 k1 Q! X; z) [! R% t( m8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 3 v7 d7 T: ]- `8 w  a7 w% ^% ]（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） 9 V5 F- h! \8 k$ `  Y8 [' v" LIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. $ {  z  d" e- {, w5 l+ t+ S* f9． " {9 r. ]2 p) E/ a9 OIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 ) ^3 F9 z5 @! r, S* T2 S) NHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. - j* ^/ j# H9 Q/ E* \- w$ nWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 - v. J' H% m4 w0 i* A5 z6 PClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 ; U( W5 ~* V' H0 R, eWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 & ^/ K! a4 P/ O2 gHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） 8 ]8 P4 X+ u. ^+ |8 HBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… 0 L( v8 ^( M" ?9 {Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 , W* a" L, A1 r; _- X1 OHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． . S  \! j: L7 F8 R! `5 y+ L7 u# V警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 , w# s" a0 d5 F' m& yLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. ' F$ {9 m% A/ @3 e接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 * {0 v% z; z) y) m8 i. \( X7 L1 KHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） : W; c# Q2 i/ U  pMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? 7 t5 t+ J, @$ R: \7 f% ~Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） 8 Z0 x8 g3 {5 O# x  I' Q' Q: c2 gHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） $ z" @8 ^0 f% q" R: Z, t8 b（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） 9 D" w( t: g- b*********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……