《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** ) u; ~  k2 Z0 L7 G: B5 E1． & ?* B3 h. z. j' @: J6 N影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 % w) T  b% e& E' g# r! JWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） 8 T9 m7 q; B$ }Holmes: I just picked it up. . h. J. E# R  s( fWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） 2 G$ |7 D; t5 \* j+ k) ]Holmes: Knew I forgot something. 0 `  m( z' q$ q& @5 yWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） ( S% [7 _1 T/ R( {% MHolmes: You did. ! C: K1 }# ^4 ~. [（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. ' K/ c( ]) P' E9 V8 f2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 & C2 @( s6 S; r3 m* n) `. SWatson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. 3. 3 q4 |* O. m3 m+ s! v# @$ E+ L晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 5 g7 G+ O7 b8 tWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 * a" _0 i! B2 a% _6 a4 eWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． % [* n; N5 n9 ?# x. j* b! hIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） : y0 K! D9 {/ H+ P  `Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? 6 z- O6 a0 n$ I/ [- lHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） , \: _' x, G7 R; [3 IIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 5 m  P' F2 d% B! j! a' ^9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） - a9 V+ W' f/ h, Y9 j9 {Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. " t7 {" P4 A% w# wWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 1 Q4 P4 b- g) Q. A; C( N. }Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. 9 C& P, W& K( ^+ k. |2 THolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 3 p( L4 R' p: u- g5 [4 _7 R得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 4 u, j1 {/ C6 k5 y) C10. 9 z- Z* o3 P1 r0 F: }; o; {" p9 G. F. _墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 " x8 t+ l( Z& L# W（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） . l& C$ H' u  W) p+ ZHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． * f! C! {" K1 H: ^9 V1 T9 y河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） ( H% k! ]4 q: O  k" Y9 S3 ~Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） . p- C+ g# d& u! Z* l. R( X" I. K后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 # ?' u7 i- O9 nHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 4 D; ^' p+ n! O* iLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. 3 l# c: }" \- h+ f, l接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 $ Z) L2 n# b3 A" a: ]Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） ' b( X- R1 S$ c1 F& R% X. BMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? ; }6 B+ X& W; @Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） 4 r0 L  i+ E) L# `/ L7 lWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） $ A5 |; {! k% Q- }2 i% [5 R* V9 \$ @( ^+ QWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）   g4 c! ?) e/ p  L) Y7 c- A（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……