《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** 1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 ; ~/ \/ w, h; E1 d$ ?Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） 0 ?+ q9 w! h2 {Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） , z4 k# i& n! ]- X5 w' XHolmes: Knew I forgot something. 3 k2 g: a7 g$ G5 `$ FWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. 3 |* R/ M& M) p. T/ @6 w& F（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） # Q1 t: h/ e6 u- i' dHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． : G+ @3 j, O, d+ r+ Y4 U宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. 3. ! o' D+ `9 K0 R) \  J晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4 D2 u; I" P. V5 e$ o6 K4． ) ~! `; W/ s+ e/ X' M2 m9 Z7 J% i拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． 1 ^& V! y% F4 q2 }Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 9 ]% d" ?" s: t9 B3 h  U1 j6 rWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 2 B, Y5 n- E  I4 y% U- u6． 1 B% r. Y) X4 \. CHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． 2 R& C  a- S% t2 }8 nBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 " c! |3 J# g$ t6 g' q（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） 0 _$ K, n2 Z4 n4 i7 EIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. ) ^, _# J3 y% |$ s) c  g' ?9． / \, z$ x1 J4 K  uIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 4 M, X7 i/ U% X9 BClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. - c" {* T+ c. [1 S2 c2 |Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） ) ]0 [" i# o' D: o$ }6 e' ]得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? / n; Y) G! [* \1 b$ wHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. + @; q- a% X8 Q- V7 y- d+ @10. 8 |/ U  d* Z! N( d墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） , b, g' z7 {, Q; ~' ?7 _$ iHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． 9 U* ^' Y, W, c: P河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… ( V, {* a- o) PWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） ' ^0 w! M, d7 @: F4 G死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 * B9 t* B% |7 t3 v+ UHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 9 G  A! v+ j0 x& o! G后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） ; S) f& J, ^' R+ L3 n1 V( m- U! V12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 - e# V, J) [; v2 g$ `Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 1 {1 |% J; [$ a13. + j7 y& T- n( g4 `1 `. |- P2 z1 W接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。   {9 t3 ]  f0 j1 G3 Y4 J: |: ^, D话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） - c2 O8 \) O- c" D4 v& L/ uHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? 8 V. L; a$ o5 q) C. R: z; r, `Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） 4 s- ~% k" g$ u" |. y/ nHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） 0 N- K) d  x% g( z2 S' ]. QHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） . O" z* S! W4 T. g* lWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……