 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 ; K' r! P6 p, E* R; m
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
% V4 @) L/ \/ m, ]- OHolmes: I just picked it up.
" [" S# ?7 x/ w# V% f* g8 RWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
0 T- w3 z/ P0 M$ t' V- j4 U M3 Q8 PHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
8 C! E! y4 b, iWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
9 r6 @. }- n0 U7 l$ d cHolmes: You did.* q3 f+ M1 c0 B" G6 H" `: g
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
' v ?4 ~3 E5 p2 `' Z/ `Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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5 X7 Y6 O7 `* `8 y, o宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 3 N z4 A. B% }1 H" d
Watson: Permission to enter the armory." L( U. n# K7 v- ]: v
Holmes: Granted.
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2 o7 P' d3 }. p晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
) t6 \* [0 N$ ?% D$ W/ R2 jWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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- P6 g/ T7 E4 h1 o拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 W9 y+ K* f$ c' k
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! j+ ]" S. u, E! i' E- P+ BWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
, ?2 q7 n3 H5 [# M9 qWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 b; s% L8 g; `6 b f' ?
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6 a0 e" V% C8 J4 n# eBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 4 E. G+ I3 |* z- d: J5 J
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 9 u$ N/ |; y6 E
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?& W, g ], u6 t( f
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) & m" y: n! z1 q3 ?+ k$ `
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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: W7 A4 R: M6 U' x) i2 ^+ TIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 4 H+ i& t: s( T V5 C) `
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
; u& a7 O/ P! q* s. {Watson: Get that out of my face.
: A$ O3 ]* e1 n( R, E9 A( tHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
* m4 U. J( _( k/ j0 W, t0 OWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.- y E K$ d M; ^" n' ?
路人警官 Clarky上场。 % O# {% L6 N1 y4 c# ?
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
9 O1 H+ w( k3 `: f) b6 THolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) 2 j, x+ I. b' ~8 O s6 n3 w
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 ! x( v% y5 o/ R8 M4 S# n8 C. P, S7 z
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
6 n: L, ^3 S, z! L4 }0 T, T+ BHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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: I8 f0 j5 o6 X% m墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 * f6 i5 Z' U9 [# A+ `7 |
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) ' m- R/ K: r0 ~, O$ R J" d* I0 ^! b n
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.; r0 R% r9 `1 {
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) * J" m( b2 d; M3 Z; E
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" _+ j1 F, v3 O5 C% U; c# Z# B' B* K/ A河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 1 K/ k: O2 g7 h" ?7 ?9 N, x
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
/ `: z4 t+ ?- ]% `2 ?4 yBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
& N; D, o+ [ v: s/ W% e: hWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) ) S( w# J6 u4 Q' M! ~3 V0 M
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 ! T+ L4 Y! s- s# Z/ K; v1 E
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
! f0 \5 z& _ O8 u/ Y后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
% W* m: F" `( z: e, z2 J* G7 U# JHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 3 r/ c( j, w: e; _! F, ^1 c0 b
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
* E0 H8 H7 v& a$ T0 yLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 * `6 A: m; ~: {$ f& e
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 5 J/ s" g8 G+ g
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
5 l; ]# _8 L% X+ w8 Q4 e" uWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
3 [! f. q* I% YHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 9 l( d& `9 d5 k' W* R
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?3 K$ v* @5 v; x2 D2 E+ e$ m( ?
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
- ~9 E' h1 e! hHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 3 m" N; ~7 R! h6 `7 _( }- J' u
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 6 q. g7 S I2 _! F
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
% f3 r$ B4 @ lWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
: ^( }6 R) S- O+ T7 A0 w/ V/ o8 EMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) # f, m. @' G# x( ^7 J4 d) w- `( e
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) ( ^! G' n, l2 s! ?- R
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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