 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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+ {& g* |) t( |% B- ?影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 * c. R/ \' B$ U' F9 f/ i
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
+ w- A) K+ r9 THolmes: I just picked it up.
( i, _9 S2 u8 ]+ |Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
" G K6 G/ P5 g1 H2 s: XHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
4 y6 n/ @+ n9 z* pWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
, ?: c8 o! j6 Z+ d1 YHolmes: You did.
|! Z R+ [) ~8 X7 f! [+ F' c(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) * s0 t1 k u+ }# j6 |7 r' e' T
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.$ Y+ R3 w+ n O% n M( z! K6 \" |
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+ ?2 u! f% r, Z. r& t1 U4 ?宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 ; F: b( l; D! u: j' ?
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
2 i) Y I$ G- B6 T) b f7 i$ UHolmes: Granted.. ?2 e+ S) @ p
3.
$ t; x& |2 }' {0 w2 o晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
$ U5 U5 }3 e& Q$ Z) n' dWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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* {# X. ]9 U1 |* p$ }) q拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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9 |5 i- P+ J2 SWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
! }( }: N; h5 o' l/ SWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 8 r3 S9 }1 i, K
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7 j/ u2 v; F6 T% S' s) s6 TBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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/ r9 ? O% ^9 ~Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
7 j% J4 y/ s: a, I* f' m( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 8 H; O! u0 s8 Q I# G( C/ M
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?6 i4 p* i1 @( z, [2 ~
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
! v! Z W' ?4 y) V1 z6 lIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.+ T. C1 u" w4 w6 o
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5 K+ f! O2 N/ ?8 E& B( S; \9 H: LIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
9 R1 f. a: w' I& h f) AHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
& P/ ]* r, x3 b, ^$ |. U" YWatson: Get that out of my face.
8 e1 f2 u- u, i. A- l0 QHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.3 i% R- m4 W; o2 h. F, y
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
0 l, l" ?; S$ D! {/ U路人警官 Clarky上场。
: K9 \0 @5 k8 A d& sClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
/ T* i1 T$ ^9 R% }8 A6 N! jHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
! R) r1 L/ o5 [# q) S, X# P+ W- f得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 7 R% P6 K2 q0 r; p8 r
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?( ^9 K/ ?7 M, I' q
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.) _. H% E: S7 p& J$ B( ^
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5 w: C$ X: U% d1 f墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
5 k# r. M1 ~% V( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 5 X, R& Z/ \$ o; r
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
" u3 w% N+ H' @3 f" f5 [Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) & |* [% N8 F: B- v4 {. [6 Q- s/ Q
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
, x; m( \3 d! C0 J5 sHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 8 P2 l) r, Y2 H! p5 @
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
# ~) J0 m3 ?4 N6 y8 e+ tWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
1 o* d: E5 b3 x) P$ S z: l死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 $ B# L& G. ^) y- l: Q; x/ G
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
6 X+ W5 R' o+ x! D后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
! S+ e- M3 }; T1 y4 w* v4 UHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) $ q% {! B. ~, Y# a7 R9 N
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' M4 R5 w( P, l, u/ K4 ?! ^5 Y" `警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 ; ~% r1 O1 Q7 x* U: S8 C8 L4 b
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.: V y" V0 G. k. R$ ^" r7 C/ [+ V
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3 Z$ p3 x/ b# {; p3 I. D% T接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
- A/ y: A; _6 s/ M5 t话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 & t$ g, z% @: V8 X$ {1 o
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 1 y+ u, l6 }; c, x3 D
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
) M! w( S4 U! K( R; NHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
- N- A% ~( k7 y# D. }6 xMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?# s9 O& ?+ ]5 Z( V1 x/ `+ p
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
6 F8 n. P' E( I% O4 Y- d0 zHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 6 Y9 b+ P+ L$ D: ]' q- i" w1 j
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
/ R+ J- T: F% ]0 x; M2 B% gHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) 6 E2 X% J8 j$ O2 x2 B
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
1 r" _. A2 @2 U2 ^Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
5 g' G, b u! K( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) 4 t+ A# ]1 X! s4 S' `/ ~
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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