 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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1 r* k0 A# ?7 C6 ]9 V; H影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 ' B! `& S8 ]( x7 R/ E# d
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
; L8 |3 P( _9 V: I; ]3 bHolmes: I just picked it up.
8 a l: O% X( C" r5 @# d3 ]Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
6 F) H' v# j) F4 O" g$ O. HHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
+ N& _- {( y" V2 w' aWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
$ `/ O3 {: L% L( z- E0 iHolmes: You did." z4 s. n" X: }9 r9 v& m4 d
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
# T% b- {( h8 H, y( IHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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" P* h7 h( e' f" R5 J. c6 M宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
& q6 K4 X. u7 t" ?2 d' l' _Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
, Y S6 i* d( J& }0 n0 ZHolmes: Granted. j3 F2 s' O$ m. Z( Q# O
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 $ p3 ]4 Q* `; B Y8 y& ~& T
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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. W `8 S+ t( r2 M& {( ~2 `) H拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
$ x( N1 f, ^, q9 Z: h6 U# vWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) ! c% Z6 X8 U2 H4 N1 w/ w: m
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4 |" a$ f# h- R0 W( SHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 , g- ~+ ?2 l+ ^& u% S6 ]8 F* k4 ^. j
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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7 C, R/ t4 @& W+ F) qIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
, a; g* s) n9 ~+ v( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 5 T5 d* Z# Y( D: J: }2 Q
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?- W6 c& l6 U& B
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 9 g, g2 c8 B& P4 T3 s7 f5 t
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.. s* [; F! B1 M8 p7 d: }' `
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4 s6 \% h \; d v2 q5 PIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 ( k1 S, S' L" N! z
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 6 g: \) e/ j: u, ~
Watson: Get that out of my face.
) p+ p7 v* s, r; l9 R) h# o; \) ~1 KHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand." p0 F) k# g4 t2 t7 t$ ^# Z
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.& R& ^/ ~2 X9 }8 Q0 S
路人警官 Clarky上场。 + _6 v8 z, V' Q. ?) |
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
3 c3 `$ \+ F6 U% C0 ?6 J5 n8 dHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) # p3 V U# K9 I e
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
/ e4 F" s1 n, |2 y9 [Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?: x3 D* W, J1 \# O* U! [9 y% C
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.6 m4 ^. m* {6 }- h' V" l
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 1 @# T1 [- y6 ]6 Z, x
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 4 @8 ]& b; K; T* l- }
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.9 i5 m% r% N: q" O E; i7 Y
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) 4 e) T2 A H$ @+ E
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: {( o- t; Z& S( R8 }0 h' Q- E% M河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
8 h. }$ e* r8 n: P4 a z" dHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
7 V' A% _/ D( R0 m; c& a6 _Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
# k: |9 v; t! e- R4 r" aWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 5 B; U* L3 [0 n6 ~/ R: F
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 ! l: J' J8 Z, C; e* E; E0 ^
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
, X) V3 e# N" y; [) h3 c) u后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 * _& L4 [' F4 C |
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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5 D# _0 c( X# w( x1 L' ?7 l警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 ; I( v! b# v [9 u" u4 s% J
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.6 r2 [+ W' A) k% _' ]7 l8 b
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
: o) t# U! j! D3 F& E: k$ b. a话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
6 |- l: R4 t4 ]0 ~2 qHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
" o: V7 @1 ^+ C9 M" y/ ^* J3 l* h( UWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) , b3 Q( _8 K8 V
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) / ^* b1 \2 n( O7 O; C
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
# m) T% e# G) F+ ~* c. VWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
6 ~* K! s! f" ?2 Y) lHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
0 i9 G9 {9 ~ }* t- J$ V: y7 yWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 1 Z1 w% e: p0 P, u$ G# B
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) , w. Q* | S9 P. ?9 E
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) . i) t' g3 s) @: i, g0 [
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) % s4 ^" O, W% Z8 h0 r
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) + _& \! H: E1 A2 ~; E1 M" {
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4 K- t& Y" p$ I. v总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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