 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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3 x: I* D) D: Q影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
" `& ?4 J+ C# \& j0 U6 U+ ZWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
' s4 ^6 T. v# r8 ?Holmes: I just picked it up., b3 ~7 s$ Y) e6 z
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
. k, l U! T3 C) U- v1 }( DHolmes: Knew I forgot something.! A* s6 ~8 O& ^/ v1 K8 v
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
" [, C5 y# _2 x$ ?5 }Holmes: You did.4 N8 q k0 I5 o* x2 X( a) n
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) ; L7 l0 e( D$ x$ p8 s8 S- i
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.$ z5 j3 V* B3 F
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k8 D1 U' m; i1 \; k7 A; ^+ }# K# V6 c宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
. }1 k( J7 d5 _( Z ~1 b/ UWatson: Permission to enter the armory.9 I7 d) L" q% x5 l4 `
Holmes: Granted.
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% u- W+ Z5 _* B/ V6 F' m7 N晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
0 R- u( \0 ]% y- mWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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) B$ o8 I" C. R$ c0 NWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
4 \7 `8 i1 |1 K' J" N7 a5 tWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 . \9 }; b2 t; }; c" q8 S6 _! R
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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3 L. }2 J" M0 U }Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 ( E. F8 j) v+ G8 C) F; k5 p
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
; D( }! V0 j- Y' o' q/ o' xIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
& A0 D/ J7 l- Z \Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) ( l7 r4 P* @# w- [; K8 i* e
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.# L M# i% |) \( t" [1 j W7 t
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6 [8 u" \0 r9 {Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
/ v9 U; w. H$ d" |! d. ~Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 5 _9 K4 F- w, ?
Watson: Get that out of my face.% U. h5 ]5 G' ]9 p
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
) M0 j9 k6 I! SWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face./ T$ p# |9 e$ ^; [( t2 m# [
路人警官 Clarky上场。
& y [: a2 M, q# hClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. @% \) y9 D' J7 t- `2 s$ r
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
4 G' G" v6 a& t0 y" _得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
, p0 M$ V. H) C7 b5 {* N2 p N) aWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
d5 e# e2 n' p) P2 SHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
& M' k! R, i0 c6 y6 A" Y% o" A( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
! }' N2 u. @3 ^# }3 tHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.9 p0 G( D! l" `; j. K7 x, r
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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" {. ]5 Q3 U+ c+ o河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
) D1 E1 p" W5 l& w! J( N THolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
' h: F2 `4 _- X' y' n1 kBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
. M* c7 H3 n# F; R+ cWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 6 ^( K, w6 ~ G, H" Y/ g* l, a
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
; Z1 f6 y8 U5 `. p; N; ~' @( _Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
! O S5 |" E0 Y) i$ T& ^后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
0 {# a$ f3 l# Y" i5 KHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
3 {8 A* E6 J' `: wLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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0 X8 L0 Q- H* P9 \7 h6 a7 C接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 9 m5 S/ M. Z& K& s7 z6 P ?
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 8 C Y6 t9 z' R
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
]# s3 e7 N+ a! dWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 2 s' Z) O# ]' N, O' O" E- |3 p9 R
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
. y: Y. r, V# b7 L& F: M# `0 gMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?" W; k3 Q+ U% n+ q
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) ( A4 s1 h/ W$ J% V$ a7 W. H8 b' q
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 8 A0 i, x$ n6 l( ]- h! \) c
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) ' v: o1 V! g' n/ L' p5 u
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) ) B, i- e0 Z- v5 `
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
" U9 W% A+ K4 IMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
i# i z+ @" q/ o: P( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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6 f" U0 T- n8 V总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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