 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
' z# F2 a6 T" C. ^' k) DWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
: u4 Y* w- u& B+ xHolmes: I just picked it up.0 o' n, o: I& C4 C7 O. T L# a
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
; M/ x$ i, f6 n9 }5 }$ lHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
7 S$ h; H9 N3 B* a$ P9 y6 cWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) : D# |9 {+ y) N$ O8 X+ j- I
Holmes: You did.
9 S8 n, z7 z# P9 O$ j. k( w(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
- Z0 w* P# C% v% N7 f- s. xHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
7 Q- p' ]4 L8 x* q I4 p) @0 [Watson: Permission to enter the armory.) x, _* ~$ j$ p }5 m
Holmes: Granted.' J& [3 {; ~/ T# w) A8 h% f6 A
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 9 E" @/ Q) d$ ?/ M: F) {; S5 E ~
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) # b9 }% m; j1 Z; l, j
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 : Y: h& N$ w" o2 l" {
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 1 q1 `6 s, S X, T$ w1 H0 j, @
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; `) T2 Q, U( y$ r l& oHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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& V; n% E0 G: ~ [0 IBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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" B/ L* S$ H, _) aIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
' g0 p% M# n! d, y( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) - ^+ ?/ ]& V" U" I& K& e
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?) Q, j4 G$ ?* i" @) A
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
$ r% o# a6 D8 w% [: QIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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. K9 ]' j$ b! g5 E( m3 @) NIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
5 e0 q3 c4 r5 ?Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
& e, x; m: `# _ b+ j& L8 M8 B$ kWatson: Get that out of my face.9 L" C u% K4 [: F/ C1 g9 Y
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
( M' i S5 s/ ?! F2 w' MWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
8 ^- T6 Z0 Z$ V+ k: C路人警官 Clarky上场。 ) D+ p) N( Y# I. C- F
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once., ^3 i3 E j5 C- e: d
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
4 e$ M$ _5 h+ \, Z" t# u( ~! ~得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
8 O6 G) z+ E! A8 I: p1 R: a% _Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?9 K$ ?. R% D0 a, v/ _
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.' S, D# M; n9 N, j/ w9 z' j
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 + O2 Z3 m' P7 V! D5 j* b2 C6 W; H, r
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 8 ^* O- H8 C9 H8 v
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
1 t; N5 ?% p0 ?1 YWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 3 |; X. u8 i. d" b
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
2 D1 m1 p% E6 p( wBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
- n. S& \0 ^% ]* V' V, e& mWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 7 s( |7 A0 W5 B+ Y- R
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
% Z( x; k" g; |- _3 Q6 e# SHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
; ~# C' \9 e, L4 |; e, e1 U后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 ! d+ y. |" T% [. t3 ]9 I
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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3 ^2 |8 A- \. o0 E警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
6 G3 F% _& k7 V1 u' YLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
* O# g+ s. o0 }$ c& o0 ]话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
8 x3 ~5 E ~0 c d6 e8 bHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) / f2 W& i2 U' L& o; [" t
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
* b" Z5 s0 K0 _- }- M# v3 NHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) ! F% [7 a* U2 r% l" j9 y8 e6 G; J
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?) j# o! Y' v" f( ~. \% v
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
* l$ A! X& O$ ~' z! }4 F: o3 J8 c: QHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) " c( H) C2 q/ c8 g K' T
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
" }4 z3 X0 Y. F% d8 E* CHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
! d) @# M+ s" p2 C+ P! i$ WWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) # W0 `( w5 _/ i
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) 3 k. H# O2 P- x4 r
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) " r7 b0 K4 B. r& G
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8 N. W- w: r N. s% d m总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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