《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 . [: B. E, d- H2 @*********** $ c  T8 f1 [# L+ N/ @/ c% M1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 0 V( |% C. o) H+ Y- UWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） 3 W  N, `8 P1 ]: dHolmes: I just picked it up. ( e# d) x4 `& T& q7 lWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） ) I/ E" E' j& y; L  o! \$ l9 uHolmes: Knew I forgot something. . Y+ O) t* n: `7 V7 h/ i" O: }0 b, ^Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） / ^- Z& Z+ A- vHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． : ]7 f  ?" z4 e% O% S# |5 D7 G* ~宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 0 D+ _$ x: \3 {1 L6 b: RWatson: Permission to enter the armory. % W% o9 H& b7 Y/ OHolmes: Granted. 3. # V( ?% W3 S) I. C+ V9 T' T晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． / f! ?  @/ h4 e* EWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 # ^4 s2 a3 \% d6 l+ @7 XWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 4 U) X6 B$ H1 e% S% f: T6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 * K' r2 J$ H1 }/ \: @; I. v7 s7． ! T+ H5 b. m( YBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 $ g" q: I( o+ f, K（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） 1 v% j; B/ ?# aIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． " l* c& K: o/ w9 d$ L1 tIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） ' [+ n6 Q$ r$ W7 N# g  kWatson: Get that out of my face. / e. {( S; T( t7 ~Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. 4 S% J% C% ^5 f& {Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. 4 X$ R- ^! g2 a( p! \* N4 v1 W2 CHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） ' r, F+ v. W& y/ d  Z得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 / X7 N, O& b, N- fWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? + w! t6 S( p. kHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 4 b  N8 r% \1 G2 a2 q& t. r墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 0 J' d' s4 b9 l. g2 |（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. & h( [* A( K6 k4 `Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 3 @3 ]+ P4 X: U11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 : ^  S$ L2 Q, C$ {Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） 6 I; D4 \. }! M0 [6 _5 MBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 7 z0 i/ [6 y" i8 ], R7 _# y* ~后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. - ^) W# G( K; V/ M3 ?13. + x% |8 y6 k. n) ?4 }0 n/ m6 z3 {接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 5 V" s. d0 [/ t/ q7 x/ j话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） / \8 Q% w1 E- V) c* v9 b+ [Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） ) G4 J; g! p9 c2 N8 }5 FWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） " }3 l& N, q* `0 U) p( w% D- ~Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） " l& W2 g* _4 R/ T* K5 E（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） 6 J9 P  ^; P8 ~8 d0 Z9 D: e*********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……