《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 # }) D: k( D* Q*********** 1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. ( W8 Z3 H: Y  @' m* s7 uWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） : `1 s8 \: i' _. tHolmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． - [) Z! O# P7 U( H宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。   s" S' z8 l1 d1 @: u% e0 WWatson: Permission to enter the armory. 4 y: n4 Z, ~2 N0 pHolmes: Granted. 9 I0 N4 d3 w1 M! O* y3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 8 R' y# v1 I- R9 \5 MWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 7 L8 e, s4 j! f8 f- ?$ ?0 P: j5． ! P8 C" z, Q2 x/ ^! Y9 _Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． / S3 z# b+ f. A& k) x3 k3 M# b) DHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 & G) |" t2 ^% r- h1 C7． 5 d& h* f6 L% W! i! R1 PBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 # D6 x9 x' y) y. a. [, B' B0 c8． . o2 [" i  S" wIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） 7 w! e* N, K1 {% X$ F! a) _- ~5 C: ]Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? ( G/ |5 E( |! c. x$ Y9 H- X9 WHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. ! C0 ~# x9 @" |. A- n9． # x/ @( Z- l! |3 {4 l& KIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. 6 s. L; _! ^/ |/ oHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. - ?7 C: p/ }, ~$ S$ E4 E3 |路人警官Clarky上场。 4 k$ |6 g* B  _  Z, X- |# ~! e* J* cClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? . d+ O8 [; d4 R: zHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） ; i/ _, t- X9 `! r$ w' aHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）   E2 ]2 ?& ]( F  z' i3 o11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 $ F* S. K8 n* U7 g5 DHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… 1 b" M* [( s/ \4 d4 E; ^. c8 HWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 * P3 O/ b9 y$ Y5 k' a# fHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 5 u' X( |3 c9 T) |; a+ fHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） , m9 y+ F: r7 Z) N1 P' W  l12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 ) |) I8 Y2 O. c' V% {* gLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. 1 U& [& ~* R" u7 D- c: j% F接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） . Y/ X1 S( ~) y! fHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） - S* I9 {* j3 n! w+ M4 p- O( F8 m3 n# FMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） # T3 A1 i3 h' d0 E（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** ' M' V+ V! ]. N0 \# A总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……