《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** 1． ! T! |* V# b1 \) l* X" ], W影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 5 d! }/ \% r) CWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. 0 b* d5 p% o/ J" i" K9 N1 sWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） 0 |1 j9 l0 p- X. c0 v/ RHolmes: Knew I forgot something. 0 z7 o; G, l/ `9 N  K2 r1 mWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） " q$ W- e3 K6 \( F; F- _4 X# @' ]6 K) vHolmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． ' B) O2 Y/ s: T2 ]! X, @5 A宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. 3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4 z) F$ d2 E- u4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． $ l8 t5 u6 ]3 b* x# PWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 + O; v# m% m5 h, ?: i/ hWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） $ E$ c3 q" f) a6 _6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 % r0 S& w" U& E1 i5 |& F; C$ }7． ; B+ C) [5 s# `' |* w" \: cBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 : ?, G0 R' D  N+ L' \（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） * A3 i0 h7 T: v! ~; n( GIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） " ]$ _" `: Y. hIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. & A& ^8 B8 t2 x: P5 K9． 9 ~: \8 L& W/ G2 `: @6 I7 A8 @) j2 BIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 ! E1 B- B, D' q" }8 Q+ K; qHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. 7 ^! \) l4 D( l. j9 c7 TWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. # x  _8 b" c8 B" U7 o7 G. H路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. 6 j" v3 D1 e) s5 tHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. & T3 Q( T: W0 I; n, m10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 4 d) t/ w9 t0 ^. g（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） 4 a) z; h+ g( P2 |4 xHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. 4 x( d7 A' o# a5 Y, @& j) YWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 # G7 f+ `! g- RHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） - w' |% e% s: g# C4 {Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… ; a; k/ X! s4 j. O$ ~Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 9 G3 G7 P8 e$ y5 `# b死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） ; _' r1 S' b, S7 b12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 , g- X- T6 W" z8 ?Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 4 f. [1 K: P! m& `8 J话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 4 I$ M1 K8 R' U) Z6 R7 D& eHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） 6 i1 H+ B& d1 N1 u% e: Q" TWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） - M' R1 `/ T' v# Q6 Y6 j7 QMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? 8 E- n! Y0 U; kWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） , h; L- o% `/ k$ j2 A; ~3 v4 CHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） ; q" b8 R+ q* m/ j# `Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） % _( c1 i4 j& ], ~) X, sMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） ) V7 K: _9 j; }/ G5 C4 J) B/ X5 u$ {（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** # M0 q3 L) B' ?& i总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……