 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 5 F! \/ o2 I- a7 H* j7 O
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
7 B D+ d' h1 ?% \! \Holmes: I just picked it up.' l0 D/ b: A% c* e
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
, s0 N; T7 R2 L2 a4 o( \Holmes: Knew I forgot something.5 x8 @- ^2 q% o) Q
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
6 B! j/ j/ c3 nHolmes: You did.
/ H( m( g7 y: d! [; R' G2 C) \(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) 9 R8 p5 v) R3 b
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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9 B: T8 r7 X% s2 ?# `1 A; I宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
% `, w3 S8 z5 `# z, l/ uWatson: Permission to enter the armory.& v4 c0 `9 h0 [# ]
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
- ] B+ n2 F: n2 t/ {0 @Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 9 R3 K7 z! ]% M2 f/ _# k
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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( e' z. w4 e" w$ I' q8 O2 p' Z7 HWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 ; Y2 t) q) j+ X+ X+ o' ]4 h. R: L
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 5 x& k! o2 @7 |
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6 m+ I, z8 E+ c0 f3 d9 \" i3 QBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 1 p4 ^' v# @8 V" \! o' w
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 ' ?- V6 U/ a9 h7 ^# E) d
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) t, e/ J$ m8 w
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
# H' [. N0 l! s- j8 j$ DHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
8 V# n4 n8 x3 f" W* tIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope., |5 q$ c4 |8 \6 ^2 J, ?# @
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 / J; N2 Q A7 p$ Z- e+ i0 L. [
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
; h4 n" g% A. h: X0 ]Watson: Get that out of my face.7 N3 a% Y9 A6 Y e8 j
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand." n$ i+ T. P- R% W
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
* f3 e7 h4 e' Z: ^7 y) O5 c路人警官 Clarky上场。
5 o! L8 M) w0 lClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
d$ u4 h; e) p. JHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
& Z" a4 n. U: ?3 G得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 9 }4 L, e3 B& _& a% T; D
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?7 Q) ]! C' U; i( }* T# }
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 ; u4 {( V+ N' j
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 7 f- |! R& U# x, C! p
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.7 @ s4 ]$ p; I. e* y
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
7 q# c# H6 y" H* nHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
* {! a5 Q6 t3 M: a) v5 d8 K2 RBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
) T8 F# u5 A/ z7 _$ n9 bWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
# N# \3 @7 \3 H死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 $ W, W3 D/ i6 p& ?- H- Y& |
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) ! g4 @2 y) X7 |: G' \ K
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
; t% O( n" b. C5 p' R9 q1 UHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 6 ?+ o% A) D! w# ?7 e7 \$ `: w' M2 V
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1 h5 |7 n( c+ u( j% I警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
/ W/ m- s) s# TLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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& X' g, ~ P+ h6 M. c' b接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
, [+ m, Y5 g" n, m话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 * i' G+ h! p# `2 Q0 D1 z
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) . ~7 _. j# u* D+ o" F7 n% @2 p
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) $ W5 N/ j' j" ]) c6 \
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
7 v) C- A9 C. n% tMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?/ R, C; _% f K+ K
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
9 \% }, h4 c# \ _Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 6 Y6 C( m5 l8 _( R( _! g& `
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 2 J' R! O! p- e' T, Z
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) % U \4 a, p! z5 X5 y1 _/ t* t
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) ! }7 ~& w' I% r
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) + ^$ W# a# y- q9 F7 C
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) " [. e% Q- Q1 `
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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