 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 + l! x/ S N( s' ~
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
' y( q/ Q* c% U9 T, U* Y+ C' @4 lHolmes: I just picked it up.
: h) E& t. j- Q; ]" ]1 O9 MWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
( T6 n3 C I; u7 C0 aHolmes: Knew I forgot something.+ ]7 @0 N4 w6 ]3 ~
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) 4 T8 Y& n$ t, h/ \+ v4 q: }
Holmes: You did.2 o: t8 S0 P6 e! Y4 g2 P# R
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
! ~( {/ U" g. x" Q; iHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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; Q+ y2 W& m# q8 k- f+ c: n: i; c# o宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 : [ d* X5 H+ H5 P: N. A3 ~& ?
Watson: Permission to enter the armory./ H3 i e( B6 [+ l& I0 \
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 1 A! j# g" Q. m
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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* X# f% U: ~: n4 i拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
8 Q: _+ Q- E O. hWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 1 J5 J$ ?& I( `- ~
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 " v& y5 Y5 n' {( h+ W2 A$ P. L, B( k
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: h; \" L6 h+ D- qIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 5 l2 Q/ r" k- Y- W1 x
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
+ g" @9 d6 u; E* |( d) W& uIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?/ x! [- v- o3 h' G7 ]9 A
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) " Y6 u) {; G# S/ N3 J; E
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.& f1 d. ~; j& g8 m d( a( V. w
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 / h' M' I* q7 g& V$ G5 a1 W2 }/ v
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
0 P5 V4 f* t+ Z% K' J+ w" GWatson: Get that out of my face.3 |( i7 ]6 Y+ @" v& J& G
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
S! e7 u5 E; f, X) m- D2 A& AWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.. u% a# Z. a6 T) p
路人警官 Clarky上场。 ; p/ v T8 z+ l0 s, P. t- E
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Q) w8 w- `( _
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) " R- m5 S1 u8 Y* B
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 7 Q2 U$ T2 p6 T3 Y3 ^
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?& p, d4 B, R" k0 |" v
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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' v8 o0 C8 \: f# F% e墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
" E2 z1 i4 o7 E4 R4 `( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) $ k2 U' q2 R* z. w( `( O
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.* P: @$ l, Q$ _5 [! Q) ]
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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9 f. v! o4 G5 C河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 - m9 u0 \* R$ @- E3 Q
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 1 u9 X6 N$ i7 s" v B/ M
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…9 h; ^, v: W/ Q+ _5 H, r% o
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
3 F/ [& ]6 E8 p死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 - [! Z2 C/ p5 a
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
* y' ^2 d5 u3 [) I7 O3 n& d后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 & y% k) V$ S* J
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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$ ]3 _8 _$ f+ j* ~警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 A4 H! X( c. U4 f
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
. E R3 F+ u0 ^( y8 G$ r话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 9 l6 S7 G9 J' k0 t2 a3 G
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
1 f Q5 Q" m" l' Y6 h2 L% h4 WWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) " `3 b/ p4 |; t; n8 @- C
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 6 W. d& i! t: Z" V. i
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?; S3 t3 U6 M5 X+ G, P
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
3 A; b! ~( c; B" k& aHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) " C4 _# w. B! t8 {) A% i) q$ p
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 5 F/ Y7 T( A3 Q% X$ n8 X6 }
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
& U1 d4 E7 E7 v* h9 Z- @' N4 jWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
: r4 q- J% ]+ W3 n* ?, bMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) ; K: i6 n' ~ J$ z$ t) o" J: r; f
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) 7 a. L# s" n( N7 m
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4 f- O& l: K' N: [总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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