《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 / v$ `9 ~, Q$ G' z9 v; J*********** * ~* u; b9 `( O3 i1． 5 w" r$ H  K( P0 d2 w: B& m影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 3 n( E! Z! \9 jWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） 2 T( c6 c9 |+ d* H+ N+ l# ^9 t, MHolmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. 2 V( _8 p5 g2 WWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） & i' I* ], J2 e; R. X- k2 K7 e; h( PHolmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. $ k9 T9 T# C, X& v2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. # P& l( k8 n6 q7 uHolmes: Granted. - N. o" t, y. E$ W( U6 H; p3. ) L( e1 |6 t/ J- i  `晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 % r8 K1 P2 @2 i  ^8 }- C2 FWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） & V6 `( b) X: d2 @4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 * Q7 a, [6 Z$ {" q' L+ n5． 0 Q" _  C: y7 k. B- H) z4 GWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． + t: {& s7 F2 x! UHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 3 Z& s9 S. C. G4 B' A. ?& e7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 ( r6 E' ^: y& h5 P2 ]; K$ C8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? & q# \- z  g6 ^# z+ b( ^Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） / }, y5 O3 W. ^6 I/ d* rIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． ; m; N8 ~) `; T" K! @% l1 }2 s, _4 VIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） " ^/ `$ y' V! Y9 gWatson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. % p+ h, W! J5 i( ?: M9 r5 d, rWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 0 v& s6 b6 y2 Q; z$ `+ @4 SClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. 9 v8 a5 u  T# O( x% nHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） , n, G1 ]& q) K  h) D6 |* x得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. ! K. z3 p$ \8 h3 GWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 + @, {- q% g3 v, |- K4 iHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） " C" r% T- r( r8 [. O2 q+ @Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… - y  T( s5 N- t  X5 ?+ AWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） & ]( H! M+ t9 u5 R7 y后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 1 y* l8 {7 o5 _6 o  O# g, r2 w2 iHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. : M8 C& @% K/ N接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 9 s% R6 ?: V9 v/ @话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） ; s4 s' z- I* o7 M0 F; `1 PWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） % K/ f! ^& M8 D" J+ ^) vMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） + D! G  O2 d- }  P6 \  q7 q- |Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） ( B, }& M8 h- }+ _- V2 AMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） 4 h5 P# y2 a) j8 a$ o, n* E" v3 ]*********** 8 I' M. Z7 d) j总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……