 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 7 C0 R# S R9 l' v( U" m! M B$ Z
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) x9 Q0 Q7 O6 [2 H K0 S
Holmes: I just picked it up.: s4 u$ _# m9 W! h9 d0 k% O+ w
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) 8 W9 h% {3 r1 z X
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.# I# h; F% ]( V8 Y) u% H1 ~
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
& j& s& s5 ^1 E+ PHolmes: You did.. a. B3 z: }! x5 B. C+ l: c. A
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
" z7 {% e l2 [2 hHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.9 T7 q( Y p9 m& z; k8 k
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! y; O2 d" g0 O4 v, a宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 # z( d5 N0 K( o9 U. ?6 t
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.3 Q6 p/ J6 @2 J; M3 g. V( ]4 q' b" N" @
Holmes: Granted.7 u# C. w: W8 S6 c, s" |0 @: z
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 ! [# I& K; I; A( R4 o5 f) D
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) + U' y3 |; S4 e! n7 V& h* K
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' M& V! v: W) v5 @) X: u4 T2 u拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 % y. {; q w% O' n3 q D# u
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 & w6 L+ [' I5 _6 K& Q1 F2 D8 q
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 * x' u# v3 u5 q, H: Y% Y' x
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 # o' J8 A! ^& g+ v3 s
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 8 Y3 h% D4 X, H1 V+ R
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?# L: ~$ d0 ^ E- G# \- f
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 9 }3 }& t3 `# K8 r9 X! m
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.+ O# S: |) A5 ~. S( I2 x
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( C! @# S) o+ x+ ]) s/ g8 WIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 ' t8 h8 x" F) ?! J/ \/ t
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
/ B$ t/ O0 i8 I6 }7 oWatson: Get that out of my face.
! J% Q% @2 B0 E7 U5 h) j- }# UHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
4 p( X* G9 `* V% P5 P, sWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.1 j5 z; M1 G$ P0 ]+ ?0 C* n
路人警官 Clarky上场。 5 Q$ j$ C4 M( e$ c' p
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
( n: h- v) ~" F2 u7 NHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) 0 Y$ \6 X7 Q% R" K0 Q. `
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
! A0 W. J" V8 J4 \+ ]Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
8 z# {/ j$ E- ?% r+ { lHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.4 a3 N' x& `1 B
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 - U2 O/ R$ O3 c. |3 X* ~0 O
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 2 j' ?* \: E& d' I4 L
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.+ R' z& U! y5 S! W; g
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 8 {/ \" T& d! L1 S- h
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 1 @ @0 h3 w: J0 C* M. H
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
" U% y. M3 R1 i) S1 GWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
( d6 M5 K6 j W' `$ Y/ z# y, W死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 $ E# P7 e$ _# L9 J" q" O
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) 7 S; d) r9 G; ?& S; F& R8 V
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 0 m, e% ?& E& [7 s @: A: x
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) / M9 M/ m/ A! L" [5 w$ V# ?! k O) B
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% t# @' Y' g; p. z0 _$ p; ?警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 ( o& @( S& N6 k' k! e+ c+ u
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.- A# j. U7 y1 ?, |' K( ^
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/ t2 J' j; S# u$ y) W5 Z; B接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 & @& A6 ^$ I& c8 U8 F. z; c1 C. h. h
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 2 F* P# [! T( B& I, E% e8 ^
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
@- b) {' k8 m. B: uWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) - J1 t( Y4 v- s0 Z4 E) Z
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
! _+ ~ q* o1 h+ s q9 m( K2 y3 NMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?) K* z6 L0 v# d) {4 j* W6 Z9 q
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) 9 I' O5 Y& Z) N ], h
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 0 Z! |* K3 \. m3 T5 A
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) * k, ^0 p" ^0 R
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
. D5 H7 n; z1 V- y# l5 X9 vWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
) t$ R S$ ^9 S7 B) X9 IMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
' h1 T* h( T& u- p0 T( Q( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) + x* H y1 ]0 w9 V3 |" U8 C
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: ~3 l0 Z6 `7 R5 t总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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