《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 " Q5 a1 H5 B6 j5 C4 t$ y5 p*********** 1．   Y. i8 U, m6 a5 B% x$ {! A" }* E( \影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 1 i7 J+ W( u$ Q. N4 qWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. + E7 J5 A" t+ E% Q* e& o  ZWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. 8 u6 l% g6 z# m+ e4 L; SWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. . r5 k. K' b! d. ~2． ; A, ~) G# g6 {$ I4 L: R宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 8 n- m; ]4 |. z- mWatson: Permission to enter the armory. * h( w  k6 }! l6 T9 M% \8 @# s6 X" nHolmes: Granted. 3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． + t! g& v7 j: V, w" X拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． 0 l! v( O. q- u9 Q) N, FWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． 5 F! ^4 g9 W/ gHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． 1 h5 V& W7 Y! `& V; X5 \+ l0 ]Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? , |) h8 _& e) i5 zHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） , k8 C9 K% ^( R1 X, O* U$ xIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. " y1 v) N$ r9 t+ h3 A9 o9． 3 d& R2 ]& ~1 ?+ h9 L! c4 v( {& f8 IIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. ( W) N0 t/ {8 V. k* o( r' G: FHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 8 y& B& d8 k0 q, V路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. * B/ h8 }0 J# G; GHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） , R7 P$ ]+ J( h6 u) [得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 3 S  k* W& ~' b# `/ l2 O6 k7 @+ L6 }Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? ; H2 }3 \. f! K1 Y+ d( \" |- Y6 |/ cHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 3 n1 b4 t& h/ g5 D! p# q墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 % S6 j" p1 i" i% r4 `0 w1 O（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）   I% E" y) q% z4 UHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 ( u8 {3 ^7 o" s! [. Q; NHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 9 X, Z: C+ Z0 V& \% ^) DHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 3 \6 m! s1 A, c+ N; J- O+ O12． 4 R8 R" Q/ ~# F; R" y8 c警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 9 _" Y- u* e  |6 c8 |Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. * J! {# J% q& B. e' N: S8 U0 z13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 0 b, E" T# }- `! B3 d% ^# Z话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 3 `1 t' u" z2 \* {- A% wHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? % p' q; x4 f6 q: ^( k: S; Q+ f0 d7 @Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） ; x( \, H: K( L& J1 E1 Z6 l1 nHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） 7 u1 c8 Y2 H6 x- q0 m: z& n2 bWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） ! Y# u; Q6 W  Y) s; ~Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） + s! {; G/ M( c4 G9 A5 ZWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） 8 Q8 Y. c0 S7 Z& B1 }% g（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** " ~- t* n) j$ T' K1 u+ c总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……