 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
4 B* O7 ]9 K m/ ?& g; NWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
8 b' X T" W" D4 aHolmes: I just picked it up.+ o1 y/ m" B; r4 d
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
' z1 q$ C4 ?9 |2 F* e" ?Holmes: Knew I forgot something.* H0 C( Q$ E& J7 N
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) " f8 `; |8 k4 s5 D- U
Holmes: You did.% @8 v& W+ c4 C
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
9 v2 I7 V) r* Z7 [8 p: @/ V! ]Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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0 G3 @. `3 H. c; A1 Y2 }宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 3 z/ _+ k& v- @- g8 |# i, e; {6 m4 A
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
" M2 N% k( ~7 T0 m5 f+ FHolmes: Granted.; b0 y+ x6 x! ?& e
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 6 A' ]/ U0 n* [" F% }* a: h1 D
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) ; ?* i y: `/ K |, P3 U
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 7 {5 f& z8 e* {$ N! X/ b6 r8 v! r
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 , L" S2 E. D+ Q( w( a' m0 E2 ]$ B( Z" K
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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6 T8 G1 g7 O7 W# H1 FHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 # D8 Q4 L8 n V- I+ R' v* k
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 : d) ~- `( D( ]4 t# b* k U
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* F$ @# J' t+ d2 r, e) J* E6 dIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
7 ]- Q- }; P5 j* G p1 \( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
* Q( X. A1 E) I/ HIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
4 U% G& j( `/ A- ?* x mHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) E' l: l8 K- g/ a: T: B. ^4 z
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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' Q0 f4 u; e, R3 I; i* bIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
. |) n. v; ]2 z0 NHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
# L P1 V$ H; {! I6 Q: D7 G& EWatson: Get that out of my face.
- R# H, s, ^7 `4 D! n! o. e( W/ THolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
$ @. J- ~( {- c l9 j5 H' q7 W3 nWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.& I2 y% J1 f1 m( q0 T0 f+ y- ~
路人警官 Clarky上场。
% p) ?- w) O7 Z, g- a# aClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
) F+ Q8 v& u$ I+ mHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
8 ?4 z4 B) {5 H! X+ W9 f得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
3 B9 x7 e3 P2 F( A: o- @Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
7 ?" h- f, O: @! p' |3 c% AHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.9 N, u1 i* c9 V4 d: L
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
9 B% Z2 j7 ]3 x7 Q( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
( F8 f# ?) Q1 eHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.( L5 r& |& S3 L h' ]
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) 4 n$ |+ u1 I2 C+ ]$ [: ?
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 1 g' _# k! Y" N+ }! B
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
) B. S* p8 O& n0 FBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
2 q: g3 j- F R6 c5 Z3 XWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 5 K% M" U3 O, ] U+ W
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 1 C. T$ C9 M! q4 J! v
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) . S2 R* B0 k# a9 y6 }
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 2 t1 j2 X7 w7 e, Q) r: B" l: [
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 5 N/ H; {9 D9 o7 v n4 y
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
1 m9 Q$ B2 @) ~6 P9 ^Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. m/ G+ y- J. K2 }# m. V8 x& {, B
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 - g- j0 j& g- W( Q3 c. Z. J. \
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 7 I, v, p3 n% _
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 1 h, r% [) l/ U- l
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) * w7 ?' |: l& B9 j, ~8 u! O Z4 s
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) & G' D: v, z7 g. l5 }
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
1 K2 ]' d9 U' e# s5 T2 [ ?( S$ `Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
' g$ S% a1 _+ e }5 w7 C% qHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
, e' c0 C' [7 v- Q4 j1 QWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
* U. B$ v* e+ y: Y& E; G' j& XHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
0 b/ ^0 n1 |+ K/ F/ {; VWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) # J$ m6 `7 B1 m% m ~$ l
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
* U0 l1 L. m% h3 R- R3 W( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) + K- w" ?/ y( s# b; R9 r4 x; A
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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