《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** 0 {- H# c- b7 f3 S6 A* ~1． 2 {+ q$ H4 t2 ?影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） ) w# n) L; q. U1 a+ @  ^Holmes: I just picked it up. 9 S* f. t1 b2 V$ C8 L( @" U3 }$ QWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. . [- e7 j& U7 c. [3 v: \2 U( A7 c$ eWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） / b: \) d8 I# t8 l7 l2 {Holmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. ( v9 A# \: }' U' |* B; q3 n9 P2．   W1 h) l. |) h6 a  o4 v' Z宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. 2 ^% |5 V* ~! U) ?3 x! |' w& k$ cHolmes: Granted. & R/ g  m9 P1 W5 c5 K2 q4 c- P) C3. 1 B5 R$ h4 d: ?8 n6 d晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 & e" Q, _' e, l3 D" o( ~, w5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 & C! R! y- v1 [9 g1 |, J4 _; G) bWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） # }2 Q2 d- [+ p+ o9 H& z( _, N6． & V  c; ]5 ]. X8 P0 nHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 / ^; E. o) x) c7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． % Q* N5 ^9 K! N# pIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） 8 B( D" p6 e- }Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. ' x* X: |9 ?0 I8 H* r) Y4 U9 x9． 4 x, v9 ~" I/ B# a# R+ JIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. 5 `* a8 F/ Z$ `' Z; l* z% iWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 6 ^* [& L: f! v# |  ~" s3 aClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. - E) c) e3 o, J( Z) AHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） : u; e! A, z" ~/ Z4 e9 T2 a得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. & m; u& T. U# H) |5 i& T- E- _墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） ' h  U# h( ~' I) e$ B. O/ h( |Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 2 ]6 Z4 ~, ?6 ~. V( o$ s11． ( |- D/ z- A0 T) @* e. X; d河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 - h7 _( p/ k: iHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． $ \, K" o/ ^) U* @- B警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. ( {- S7 C) l0 \; f! k& l1 a8 M# x9 A13. % l; Z( W; F$ g接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 7 e, ^# d( c3 w# e1 c话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） / y2 B) j/ X& [; uWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? % v# Q3 ~2 Z% D8 a* c. X$ F6 xWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） ! a! m9 A) ~' xHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） 5 c" @" V7 Q% Z' r8 e5 s) AHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） ' G+ C) |; |7 C; r) Y（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） ( z& S$ Y* x4 l! H, p*********** 0 h% i' f% c+ c, m0 t; W( g9 W# l# D( N总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……