《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 # f! z6 s* W, W: s- `: h: }*********** 1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 + i% Q( g2 I& `. w2 L% x4 QWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. + _' @6 x, j0 T+ GWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. ' m) A* j9 h9 S% `2 @/ z5 qWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. 4 l4 U; x' f' B) g（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） + j# h! E! Q+ e0 M$ OHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 - V5 U! Q& a  e6 R" c! f$ D, _Watson: Permission to enter the armory. 6 K6 f( Z4 O1 u9 R' }Holmes: Granted. 3. ! R/ T5 \6 l9 y3 i4 N晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 " V, C9 D; r4 U* p: S6 iWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． - ^; C7 H' Q" j8 xHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 " D; J0 G9 _. D7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 " u/ e' O0 {+ K! i& D9 F/ I& Y（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） - s* ]' b- }3 u. H4 OIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） + J+ W7 }# ?8 n# n/ zIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. ; K# d* E" p' G& ^4 Q% O9． $ x. M7 d% c4 f6 m! N/ z* N; aIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） 3 P& c6 Y6 k* \  YWatson: Get that out of my face. 9 k8 S" g% v+ k* S& `* }Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. , ~, b5 H0 v9 J; y" e1 iWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. 9 K2 E( G" ?8 B* C6 wHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? ( x+ ?" y* M: THolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 7 o; T, M& w; H墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） 3 ^( F) e2 e' o7 o6 ^$ l% c1 d/ b+ H2 yHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. ; q8 E, d/ V' W3 V1 zWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 0 U5 _9 }" ]7 f1 J" g11． ) A) G! ]1 ~0 r& v# w河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 * O0 @1 _) f9 ~) D! G. c* I8 d4 RHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… ( F5 v5 S- o% {6 }- O* _- t2 FWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） ) \1 |: c, H7 ]! b. V2 V' s/ r死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 8 C0 ^! z2 z% oHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） : H/ T* f% p' }+ h( Z. V: K6 v12． 6 ]; s# t1 b( o+ O0 w% q. d警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. + ?: n; ]5 ?  f% j! X, }接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 % ~+ A6 @; S* J1 P. Z话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 3 ?1 `) ^( d! OHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? , k1 {( }8 ~5 X5 o. BWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） 5 C3 K5 D! [3 J% |" CHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） $ U8 ^- M) e7 @: R9 t* A, S0 nHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） + ^( X# j' O2 Z, `$ G, j+ @+ M（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** 9 R5 C# ^* h- p& U总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……