 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 " P3 O+ u1 c" [
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
% c. C& i$ [- E! T% s$ \. T. uWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
, D S; x1 S) qHolmes: I just picked it up.
( H/ P* f* ]0 t: J: IWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) 2 \' W5 Q4 n, m4 }& q7 ^( G
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
9 g7 c- t$ s( z8 s% QWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
& `( G( ]' i- V6 M' [2 mHolmes: You did.
! N. B0 o1 K) G3 R) t(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) , j2 ~) G( O9 R1 o: Z, P4 y
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 - w8 f3 i+ W" i$ k9 q
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
- P. v0 c3 f4 n! g. PHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
& ~4 K: y$ B+ ]/ u. _% ^Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) * M. X+ ~/ d% L: P' }" D
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; i0 l* A, \) a! p" N拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 E# C8 S. g4 {% H* X4 ?: d
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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5 v: ^0 r4 r0 I3 A) gHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 / `2 i; }! b! k4 O+ t5 d9 U2 B
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0 Y8 e$ @. x: n; x/ JBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
/ V0 B/ ^! }9 r( |" h+ h3 a' ^( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
. i6 J: U1 C* \ m& JIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
4 |/ {6 A# e& m1 U E) P4 wHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
+ K: g/ \) J- T# C9 z) B/ @- @+ qIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.7 t( C3 j; \) j7 C* [# v& y- m
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2 Z) W5 k; t: c. P$ P# [! S% }4 y- kIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 5 c3 A9 A3 z% l
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) : D% k& v4 v" L- b/ k3 i$ R9 V
Watson: Get that out of my face.
3 H7 U' |, {1 o. ?1 r! D2 C1 kHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.) z0 u0 {6 w4 `5 w# E% `
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
! ` |( b$ |8 |5 F9 {路人警官 Clarky上场。 2 E5 |9 j/ [* o9 [) f" q9 L" o
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.5 h' O- a8 U! i7 y1 N: \/ [1 W
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) % d$ x- f# o$ t
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
+ E9 U T% U8 _% bWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?- h }6 f# `. e4 X# V
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
1 l- Z( n8 x5 q+ Q6 A0 e3 K: o9 g( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
* `& U! Q/ j0 ?; \ u5 ?/ I5 iHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
1 e# a& C9 G6 L$ w9 LWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) 4 h2 T) U- ~; g2 ~% p5 r5 ^
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
! ~4 x# V- `% A: t* O6 F9 `Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) ' l" ]" X* y3 U; [1 m" P6 e
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
: R+ g! Q- U a" tWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) * n3 d/ o6 ` Z$ @# z6 ~; b9 v( J
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
$ g* H. `! h& r" wHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) * d- ~$ G$ b1 k
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 3 t' f7 E1 C9 a) H' O- ~
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 * b2 v% D1 a# _( s ~9 p
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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7 B5 e9 ~" V3 `2 J( s接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
2 N! g' D% m6 Q. ^9 ^5 R: i5 d话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
; Z [3 m' J$ a# q0 t( y% {Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
; v3 y) Z# o, j( uWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) # ]6 `* F6 d) o" m' d0 T% w
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) & R" U1 g2 \0 i7 ^8 Z7 f/ ^
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
4 N$ ?% S8 f5 h" s+ oWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
' f" |' Q M8 N( m, `; e; j" L# PHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
8 F. S7 g% Q% B g' V" YWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
: n5 S* S0 ^- h8 e B- X- @8 CHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
4 D, u5 h& m1 r9 N. f$ |/ v! |4 c6 Q+ hWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) 4 J$ a& t5 l9 G0 w) s9 ?
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) $ f( s/ B' v8 a, L" `# G- R
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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- `0 p( z, l5 u' f! |4 X1 W总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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