 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
! }. j5 e5 K4 K! \' kWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) 2 V7 B. C/ L7 {! o! D
Holmes: I just picked it up.
) F7 A3 s3 X& G3 DWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
, |9 f E5 j; b3 X( rHolmes: Knew I forgot something.2 ^$ }/ f1 N) Q- f" `. ^, G2 M
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) : f8 `! |2 C! [0 H: ]
Holmes: You did.
. U; G: c9 Y8 J/ k1 ]$ C(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) 1 j9 v1 J4 r$ t/ e
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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& ?# V- y( ^( P1 [. z# u宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 ! b' N+ \7 R0 ~ r4 O ^% g
Watson: Permission to enter the armory., A; W. G, z1 q! {& ]5 u" b
Holmes: Granted.
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% L. p( C# K/ m! f' W, e晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
8 t( C) |! a6 t" H2 W. l ^Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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# h- Z% g8 t, `$ a拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 7 F. N6 R$ R3 b5 e6 ]) z( ~
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 4 ?. c" r. x# }& l) C, `+ ]' a; _
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 , {4 y( `3 _# V- p5 k1 `1 z, d
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
. T# j( G b' ^! ^' `Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?, {* z7 m' j, ?# y
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
+ ^9 Z& i. L# b; t# R# \8 j+ J( WIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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4 y, g6 X2 z; [0 T+ ]: ZIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 4 d5 P5 |/ g3 u
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) & C' C# H" `6 V6 P/ U+ G' l
Watson: Get that out of my face.( \! e: q: x0 H$ X. D
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.; [* C4 Z8 {) [, l9 C7 G, t; I- ~+ L
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
1 B2 |5 }( I1 K' O路人警官 Clarky上场。
% s2 i4 ^! R! `Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.. m6 x- W: J/ r+ @. D7 p" o1 q
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) $ k) _! Z7 Q I' L
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 / X; M% S) Q$ g( u
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?' W3 Z) n! y' W. ^1 A6 L; P4 U" |
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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+ x5 @% }/ b; T( y% W墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
6 Y3 R! Y6 }, F# u( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
3 O$ b% @- r& m X# i/ d$ p* Y$ JHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
* k1 B( `" I' t4 q# fWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
' ]9 A% M r1 I: \" L6 o! {Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
& v. i7 v& ~! \# R K9 ^9 jBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…! e' |) _% C: ]9 p. s" R
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 0 ]; d: ?+ B4 h7 u, Y2 Z
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 5 n5 z+ s% ?5 y' |. v
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) # P. e W3 ~1 }- t
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 ( `9 j- M+ c% h! j2 K( `
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) ' d( T) c& D& C5 V9 r) R
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 - i6 I' T/ J c+ g4 [/ E a
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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8 h5 t' P6 P" ]3 j b3 C0 O3 N接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
9 a* o& W9 z) i% G" K% X话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 ( j1 ]7 D' O, j6 ]5 K% U
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 6 h! Y# K$ Q1 R8 K/ r
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
9 ~) ^, x$ F/ }- ?& A% qHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) # {. \% H0 i4 D5 `0 ?% ^! z7 u
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?9 F/ ^& S) b5 c5 N0 }5 Q
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) 7 i/ Y. u( i7 ?7 q8 D* x
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
5 v# q8 \% ~9 Y" B% Q+ hWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 7 D- S" W0 R' `! H4 K1 q& c
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
: W0 _8 Q4 r: |$ `/ `9 G1 Y# I/ dWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) ; K2 [5 H6 x* W5 m) f9 Q% I
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
) N2 T- k( Q" j/ s+ y( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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