 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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" B2 U1 u: m( c/ S影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 0 I$ h! l G. G3 A
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) / Y: B+ M3 S. H. j. v0 M8 w
Holmes: I just picked it up.
3 [1 z$ g& P" T% s* a' i- QWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) 5 M% Q1 L7 ~! F4 r
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
' z- O0 X2 R( b2 \Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) ) v. D$ w1 w, J/ ]' \6 P
Holmes: You did.% Q3 ]$ y! }, [8 c( P
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) [. u/ ~5 p1 b5 p% V& j& }
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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7 k* v4 a% M* a, D& N( F$ h0 D宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 : y& S& U: T# W( e# K3 B) G3 F
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
5 ?% m B1 Q: D' r* @! M8 FHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 9 U1 `" d B9 t7 ?% r2 Y( V
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) - a4 `2 U0 e$ o
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
( r* w& i, p# l" ZWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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4 K2 p3 a8 {3 E' J/ N5 FHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 # @% i5 u5 k0 d% Z& Z+ \% N
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
2 K% K) Q/ b( u# N6 ?; k( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) * `6 a2 I0 X% d0 r! D
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
, \6 p3 |* O: r3 h7 zHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
! I1 m5 a0 s0 q: g8 \: e! c, {Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.1 q7 c! m! O4 x3 H1 g
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 6 O6 j% `7 R/ x( B' |& T* l
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) " {, E% G6 g9 s7 Q9 }& F
Watson: Get that out of my face.
4 m% f# j1 o0 sHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.- p6 N" [8 H/ T8 t
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.! a& h6 K) y# x
路人警官 Clarky上场。
& {7 r9 w ?3 `0 F; i% t7 ~Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.! W; @' J4 v! ]0 `4 X8 A' n3 O
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
4 U8 n1 F0 a% N5 Z得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 & g4 g& T, T5 |7 W; T
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?; y$ l, @9 A% e2 a
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.; \% f' F. x8 f6 k! |3 j/ Z& i3 X. p
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 ; f& Z" A( J% ]7 ^& u
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
6 W% g! O9 W4 F) wHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
$ h. [9 g8 r. w" U( zWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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) O( \" H: K- P河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 ) N$ A4 c9 ^/ ]" _# J$ l
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
$ @6 e/ [8 A8 T% C/ EBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
; l4 r* u2 \1 U5 P5 }# e! YWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 5 S" i/ o2 P. M) w
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 1 _) L/ p( L; f0 M! K
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) - g; g3 S5 D( h6 l5 }- r/ X
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
7 D- T1 O- |" M, m- c% iHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 % W1 T) c1 { `# N
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 ( |, A1 v# r9 Y# s- ?% m D& n
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 # V& E3 k/ p5 h. ~
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) ' |; j+ I8 [5 d. f& z2 v; P
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
: V [6 h8 t8 sHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
% F' i! _, o! k8 PMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
2 ]8 M, ` n% b# q+ B3 gWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
! k7 S) Q$ [7 k) VHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
) u1 v. i# O6 _2 o zWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) " V( Z5 j6 n$ u n0 t6 ]0 S
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
' } Y8 C/ O! g. y& Z7 DWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) - E; M! x4 X( \
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) 9 v0 [. u1 p `0 S' O
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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9 v' b1 m5 v5 W- f1 e9 Y8 m" I8 g总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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