 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 " |3 H+ j/ Q9 C& }$ n3 Q9 t; I; K
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
# z8 J! M/ U+ P- r; H0 Z4 Z9 f) CHolmes: I just picked it up.
! r! v+ C5 [4 X% D% X8 u+ OWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) 2 q. `& x# u% m6 k- N, h! g4 F
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
4 w6 g# }: v& [# S3 j! HWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) ) Q5 F) x. z( _# T9 X# r1 i
Holmes: You did.
1 S3 ]0 T3 R7 Q' }6 n8 W: p(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) . U* e2 l- w2 {; {, A7 J! J3 x: M
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.' R& _6 a# ^0 Y1 J
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% o) R% c6 n2 S9 Q" K- J9 s3 H宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
+ T0 W+ z" X0 b0 n Z; S8 `Watson: Permission to enter the armory.( W3 Z- n. D+ n. E: T: C
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 # W, @2 ?4 C8 B- w# x
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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) s9 M0 ?1 q Z7 \9 O# b拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 ; ?/ i$ v8 _3 Z0 m# n
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 ' }* ?' |( W0 x8 F: I
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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+ i ^3 f3 r7 z& B6 nIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
: `8 O: }4 ~, f/ i6 M- E$ k( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) % p, X6 Z) B& F' M% g+ A
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?0 h+ S/ B# _6 ^2 m! ?
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
( G0 W4 f: P+ _) ^Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.0 l. H0 s9 R: D" b& ]
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( A! Q: P* W( CIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
9 V! p3 \* A' {; k1 D# r- tHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
$ F$ E# i4 t, M+ M; s8 _3 JWatson: Get that out of my face.4 k2 @# ^' ^ Q, D* ]) Q% I
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.1 d" J3 v3 A0 L6 n7 [
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
0 n4 T. B. h0 Z路人警官 Clarky上场。
0 @& |& | _% a9 i" h7 aClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
9 h7 {: ?' ~! }( Y# c0 qHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
i/ ]8 q6 b( o/ j: P; T* F得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 ! X* e1 P: c! R- w2 s' N
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
$ B+ O2 c& F P- m. }, ]5 @Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.+ w5 A; r$ q6 ?2 `
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& e1 ~7 [6 {0 M* z2 ~# L墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
1 f0 s$ V# D& F( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) & v# e* l+ H/ M% r$ D
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
. C, R4 ^1 ]5 W, c5 ^2 FWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
0 U: k$ ?7 h" j" VHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
7 s `% z) C& dBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…2 w5 o* i8 a5 w& l/ M
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 7 j$ }9 T' s/ _, g
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
, m1 C. r# {8 q" X4 {8 u( _Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
1 r3 e4 x$ ?) g4 o9 F后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
% w+ d) O( o) b9 iHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) * ^% W8 o% d* }) B" [
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
1 l: } s: r0 Y# i, \Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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/ |' \3 u6 ~! o+ Q: I; M& ~* r接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 7 o! I; x1 h* d9 Y1 p8 E( O$ v
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 / B8 F j5 |5 J; Z- M* U
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) % ^# d# Z" f5 K+ `- P% J
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
1 [! A0 q. Z' Z. LHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) ! A/ x0 K8 P/ n3 I* a
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
) _# b, V+ h/ `( i6 XWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) ( M6 b8 V9 C' ^ P+ c) n
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
( d1 D2 R6 D3 T! Y! FWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
7 q l1 \( `/ f$ `; B. dHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
6 \ y5 Z5 {3 k/ W& CWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
' w: ?$ Q' s8 c8 [% I) @/ c4 VMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
2 f" k3 q0 f+ O2 |$ \- x5 G( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) & @: k6 J! |3 p7 Y0 y5 g5 S2 |5 U: w
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* J! q+ ]1 w- I总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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