 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 ' D4 `3 |: t/ G
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! c0 b/ Q4 z* Q! R' q. N2 D影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 4 G6 z9 I6 t# }$ J# m
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
5 I4 u. \* t* z: KHolmes: I just picked it up.) t/ Z% T0 C0 ]0 ]* h
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
9 A8 B) V! E; @, b6 j9 W% pHolmes: Knew I forgot something.+ m, ^! F0 i1 N: t6 Y- h" l* r
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) 7 o2 Z- S" H- \3 D9 Y
Holmes: You did." `2 K1 e! w' `) B+ m' ]3 z+ V" d
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
6 w2 f0 w* G, p$ K hHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
. z& b% \" c( L! F+ @. VWatson: Permission to enter the armory.' K- v8 q! F$ i
Holmes: Granted.
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& r2 i3 W" B1 M% D- w+ |, T晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 M2 y& L- W* w* k1 @6 n
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) + \2 E: f- v5 |# L1 k) l
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$ N U; y* y& m拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 ) ?2 v7 f6 j( a0 b9 P
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 : E9 n# w: t# M' F* U S6 O* W
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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8 ?9 C* d+ l: S% `: D( h) z" f/ \$ iBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 9 ^& V4 J$ s/ P( o; |7 r
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) ' M# F; ^2 _; p8 m: B! |% H
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
3 v! t8 a$ C# XHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
& ^1 ~3 l) ~" S; P/ n( Q4 b' T8 T% QIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 . b. u2 z. {9 h& Z6 M, @
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 1 k9 K* b% t9 G3 ?1 o9 v& T
Watson: Get that out of my face.
: P6 v- [8 \& I5 } a! W [Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.3 C: V- d: x- m9 N
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.% y1 U; [) y. _8 b; j0 Q
路人警官 Clarky上场。
/ I) f6 H- n' L9 EClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once., j4 X2 T: w, t5 p( @& J0 ]+ `7 t- e
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
( ?" x j6 v0 P6 z. x0 `: g7 y得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
" J+ a3 H9 J' a; E+ |7 H# @Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?& T# z. Y9 X' V& s2 \* |8 w
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.3 q, ^6 J2 ?1 Q6 p2 Y* C
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
5 x" j1 O$ X% ~8 ?% k' ^& B% a( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
! l1 R2 O, k, q& q: @6 u& YHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.$ K% J2 h$ J$ d8 R: ?
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) 0 _% M0 x& D& u0 M$ A' j5 }' N6 a
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 . I" q6 X4 M+ F7 [$ H
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
: E( s& R6 w7 ?, aBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
9 z% u% }7 m! E, v2 Q0 N1 CWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
5 i5 A2 W) i& [0 c/ ?. y! [死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
9 D2 r: W+ x/ e6 ?Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
; b& w' S% d3 {9 h/ T后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
, ?% M7 G" R+ U( ?5 ZHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 $ `( q- q$ { X' w2 g6 A: X
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 % [+ b) @, j2 @' f; z6 n* J
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 0 x- K# Z8 Z# |! G
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 8 O3 a4 k ?5 J ~7 ^9 }4 r
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) $ @1 `6 g( b' e0 i' W8 n7 [
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 4 m1 K6 z* F/ X. @
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?% E/ k$ m& W p, K
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) ! _" N7 A8 B o7 ~) ?
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 0 d# P# N7 s) K& i
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 0 _4 S$ N& z3 ^) ^1 Z( e
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
' q( @/ p2 e. g. _# Q7 XWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
% c2 R) H! G$ l- W5 hMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
1 b Z/ a8 `. |5 H* s6 A4 ?1 D( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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8 m5 x9 T2 n* v) B# ^总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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