《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 ' c" p* V% }9 u, l7 e( U5 `*********** 1． 0 s5 U- A5 w/ ^) q& q2 f5 J影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 7 v% _3 {% R$ U; }Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） & U7 T* m/ u! P. p4 RHolmes: Knew I forgot something. " H( k, }% q0 g) g3 h) qWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） 1 r) j, _! b8 GHolmes: You did. 7 r  ~: I7 H7 a7 C( U/ e（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） # l+ F* |$ C; s! i) fHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 8 S& }: W, y: S2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 $ U: t/ S# y  v( C" r0 XWatson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. 7 D& u/ _9 h* g4 Y3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 3 j( B, J( e4 D/ i' qWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） - }; }- I; B0 l9 A' C# f" A4 A4． 6 h% y+ y$ d2 G* t拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 9 e) c/ S. P9 {+ m7 V1 ], e6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? 9 R7 ~% u# H# SHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 4 X, n4 r9 X1 u0 N" f8 a$ S- {$ `8 f4 r9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face.   ], d' T- n5 ~& v* D' D3 GHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. , A) C+ z3 T7 s/ F% u7 v路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. 1 r  e; Z6 N+ b2 w5 g& n+ HHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） ) b9 i1 E  X$ R- _9 Z+ i得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 ( D- ~; ~  U. t& x& ~, ~/ g) iWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 0 m2 y( j; O  V9 S. v) H$ T（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） : E4 P. X; Z$ H' f! eHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. ( P0 ?( f& ?3 ~& L" t: |( D' o7 [Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． 4 j+ z; j4 b+ s3 G  p; S7 M, G河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） 4 Y: D  B' q0 `7 x. m, S; d; ~Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） $ y& d' ~- [- }6 `# j后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 2 n$ `" v! _; LLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. ! h7 L1 \. J3 y6 }7 v接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 3 P9 a  b; S# z& y话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 / C: E% w  W# R: J/ g+ BHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? ( R, j. {' i7 z5 L$ xWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） : Q" F) F0 a) c; H/ r2 T2 y% ~9 T; MWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） 3 G& I! h; L  ]% Y6 QHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） - v" k# u( v; A# _% MWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……