 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 + z! n: E9 n3 Q' f- V. H6 S; t. {
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
" T% C- N( a6 b7 o3 Z) O- `7 OHolmes: I just picked it up.. N( [1 j0 E9 @! c, }2 R
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
- e" j) v* U# A4 O4 j9 m& rHolmes: Knew I forgot something.) R$ K) s0 Z! I
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
C. A( t R) Z7 A' nHolmes: You did.% v) ?/ c6 [+ ~) ]1 h0 n" d) j
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
0 y9 d& c, ?9 MHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.! v: l* w# k0 I+ g2 N+ I
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
0 \& U- i) L- [" O( E' GWatson: Permission to enter the armory.' s6 l' b# H: o
Holmes: Granted.- n/ K3 N ~6 _% d, _8 v* ]' d
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
l+ G7 l8 B: k s( {3 ], sWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 1 n! C# A1 F$ {3 ^$ ?( x
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 ' P2 \: R' o! l, K$ m$ s( ], @
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- e. b& [ J/ b+ f2 aWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
, ~4 Q2 V. Z6 L) D! P2 t/ d5 F' J: D3 LWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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8 g$ l+ A# m/ T$ aBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 ' q& d+ ^2 h! e, c$ m# w. \
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3 v5 P) `/ D/ n; y" s+ Q- CIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 $ O% F, O3 P: z
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 4 f9 e( T8 B! Q3 V: O6 K; K) B4 M$ `
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?* E" ^* N2 K/ f) u3 i# K5 P- L) w( C
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) - e4 n3 p$ r% L G
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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6 B4 w) [' r- e; P: S" w( v6 eIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
. X( E+ \" N7 C1 h) H! J9 W+ S5 {2 N4 s$ HHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) & i) i ^1 p0 ~
Watson: Get that out of my face.: t- }2 i9 r7 B% i$ G
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
: G, p( L4 A& o7 I0 y+ PWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.. W% j! T5 a: E) I' J
路人警官 Clarky上场。 2 i! M% d/ Z7 m) k
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
" X q' @+ _, c E, k) b/ PHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) - A2 M" \9 c$ B0 } R! p
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
( D0 ]- V. n, {+ JWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
* e4 }% V R4 tHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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6 y% `' H1 n/ `' z0 ]! R墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
: R! p$ m/ k5 n4 P: u( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
* x7 c7 W, P l/ |, UHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.6 W* [4 Y/ }) ?3 ^% i$ M, P
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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% f# c3 Z$ G8 }/ |0 M6 k河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 : w* k/ Z q" g
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
- B+ q& M8 A. n/ k R: Q/ `7 nBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…7 o" r; \+ Y1 A- R) |
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
# i2 T3 s( m. c, S; k3 W: Y/ z死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 # y) P9 A! ?5 u0 x
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
% r( K" |9 @% ?! l后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 , K: x* O# o9 b7 T2 K
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 5 p1 u1 q: j5 W5 s( T$ s1 K' w
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& P( H' X& m& u" N, G2 v5 e警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
) C+ I* X& J0 S1 `0 \Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.% z) Z- z% x! x3 z" C: N$ }- d
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+ E$ w$ g, Z9 G {) i接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 / s1 C" J) W- a& v- J& L# i
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 8 [" ^# R2 O6 e }) ~! |) y3 ~3 s
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
5 T% i) p. ]2 Q2 _Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
% d6 X- u9 ^, }9 O ~# ~Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
/ Z6 f+ R/ v# b$ i8 S5 K, b7 iMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?4 u# ~* Y4 M ]
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
: Z5 L) Z2 e' S t. i* oHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
* r5 T, O5 |" X$ C0 ~! G. h3 ^Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) ; A: c- g& s* ?2 j9 a0 e, K
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) 4 v, K7 d0 V6 p" _
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) 4 K+ Z" n* P: E. N2 V
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) 0 [4 T; N2 G5 @. f- S
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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; ^8 t5 N; _$ c6 \6 V: n总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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