《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。   b8 K. j: E3 ^' k( u*********** 1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） # z8 J! M/ U+ P- r; H0 Z4 Z9 f) CHolmes: I just picked it up. ! r! v+ C5 [4 X% D% X8 u+ OWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. 4 w6 g# }: v& [# S3 j! HWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. 1 S3 ]0 T3 R7 Q' }6 n8 W: p（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． % o) R% c6 n2 S9 Q" K- J9 s3 H宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 + T0 W+ z" X0 b0 n  Z; S8 `Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. 5 s$ S! i' R4 p; U( K6 [5 F3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 2 [1 o' E8 N: _) z$ h! p' k' }4． ) s9 M0 ?1 q  Z7 \9 O# b拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 - a0 H8 V( S% ?; s/ c, \* P5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） - m  [/ R$ i  C6 z& u6 O6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 ! U  {  w! N6 l' [8． + i  ^3 f3 r7 z& B6 nIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 : `8 O: }4 ~, f/ i6 M- E$ k（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） ( G0 W4 f: P+ _) ^Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． ( A! Q: P* W( CIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 9 V! p3 \* A' {; k1 D# r- tHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） $ F$ E# i4 t, M+ M; s8 _3 JWatson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 0 n4 T. B. h0 Z路人警官Clarky上场。 0 @& |& |  _% a9 i" h7 aClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. 9 h7 {: ?' ~! }( Y# c0 qHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）   i/ ]8 q6 b( o/ j: P; T* F得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? $ B+ O2 c& F  P- m. }, ]5 @Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. & e1 ~7 [6 {0 M* z2 ~# L墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 1 f0 s$ V# D& F（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. . C, R4 ^1 ]5 W, c5 ^2 FWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） & E) T% V4 c( y; H" O9 S11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 0 U: k$ ?7 h" j" VHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） 7 s  `% z) C& dBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 , m1 C. r# {8 q" X4 {8 u( _Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 1 r3 e4 x$ ?) g4 o9 F后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 % w+ d) O( o) b9 iHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 1 l: }  s: r0 Y# i, \Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. ( @- a1 v) J, u$ x13. / |' \3 u6 ~! o+ Q: I; M& ~* r接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） 1 [! A0 q. Z' Z. LHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? ) _# b, V+ h/ `( i6 XWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） ( d1 D2 R6 D3 T! Y! FWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） 7 q  l1 \( `/ f$ `; B. dHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） 6 \  y5 Z5 {3 k/ W& CWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） ' w: ?$ Q' s8 c8 [% I) @/ c4 VMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） 2 f" k3 q0 f+ O2 |$ \- x5 G（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** * J! q+ ]1 w- I总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……