 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 9 a" Z% }3 I7 @) Z
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
9 l: l0 e: n, A6 _; T1 i" Q7 U1 e* lWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
& w, G" }% r J. M" @6 W+ z$ `Holmes: I just picked it up.
( E& v/ |* m( \+ r/ h# ?) IWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
8 d/ V$ p- Y4 y. \1 R0 sHolmes: Knew I forgot something.8 }7 n' x1 s& }: z, e" B# L' b
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) 0 r1 b; {8 G) S) k
Holmes: You did.
7 M3 N0 G% K8 {) h) s: D(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) / J' ^9 M) E! R8 X' Z
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.5 J" C$ H" p$ L$ e$ x2 J, G
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. ^0 o5 l: A! ^# x7 F- N. C宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
0 E1 `0 ^" \+ y3 ZWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
/ m. Q9 [4 p9 W! J' s mHolmes: Granted.& z1 y9 _% }8 i; {
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5 G! K% {: q3 @" q: t5 k晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
% ~: e& W# h( TWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) : C A( _( `- Q _/ X
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 2 \3 P0 u$ b7 }9 ?6 l) H1 K
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 * X( H' y& K) K$ V
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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! ~) t* k* Y9 P, J5 x$ O% W9 aHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 ) w! ]6 S% J2 |! Y/ B3 \% \
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0 _% z: L# c7 O8 r' Y8 \Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 & I1 z; I- {2 C/ w' n
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" R7 |% ]$ H5 G6 q. ?0 p( eIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
& n; X! r3 |, j W! \( A6 j; O( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
" a; Q$ D* Z# t- q) n, _Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?6 G. \* r! K- z3 X- P2 q
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
) v3 U' e* L% r+ NIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.' o0 D2 M3 Y6 n# `; W3 H, T/ ?. d
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
- u& v% A7 ]" mHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
2 B5 M3 \4 v8 z- h. R8 O0 lWatson: Get that out of my face.! W5 S1 r( T9 v( U7 }1 P
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand." c5 H6 y; }* ~+ b
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.5 @9 l) x8 t. J b
路人警官 Clarky上场。
: R9 w v+ @& O6 ? QClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.: c% f9 V& n* h# c5 i1 [
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) & C$ A* P' y2 i) c5 A
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
( v0 ~ |4 Y- u0 \( x* d& J, qWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?% k3 z3 a3 q2 B) g
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.4 d, |& y7 W2 H) ?+ T
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 ( Y' h$ n) b F7 [ e4 t- t
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 5 @- B6 V I, g
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
- [! \: N2 M1 IWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) ; v6 s6 a/ Y9 ?, B8 J
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; Q. r: v* F: v! x" k8 x河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 1 ~* B% J/ I: b3 g; C. d
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
& y& t! v" n& hBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…6 _" G/ V4 W: [% S0 m
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 4 H/ K1 \4 O; p; }! ] t
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
6 x' ]9 S. ]( D+ z' \! b# nHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
3 R: B1 l; c. U: M5 E% B3 S后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 ( E4 R. j1 _, u5 I5 Z5 ?1 z
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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, o& p @$ e y; I5 b警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
0 r2 R0 _/ ?3 [Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 - Z( Y6 f5 y- N! u, E3 ?
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
/ F) K% ~8 C7 bHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
7 P9 U- v" L3 Q1 IWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) ) c% s* L, _2 N- h1 W3 X
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 0 q7 B) b& }1 H: M/ i
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?$ J* R0 |, F: X4 V6 t# C
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) + R- L9 E2 z) E. r$ Z2 y, W
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) ; w8 Q2 X3 _/ l6 ^3 z0 F9 P
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
{& u4 Y6 o6 Q7 QHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
5 y* Z- ]0 S9 R% M% hWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) ! Q, ]) {, [9 R( o
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
. q. z) m8 }& s2 R5 P( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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$ W; T, J- F8 n: p0 U总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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