《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 1 L9 G8 r, \" u# |% K0 Y2 ~*********** 1． 5 ~. y8 {' u5 B* }3 o. h+ M影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） 4 ?$ l8 d: `; o, V; sHolmes: I just picked it up. 6 `3 o3 z& y) OWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） 4 j% T! _  }) V9 ?% pHolmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） & x  p8 ~9 u$ p0 xHolmes: You did. 0 `" O; ?8 ~- c$ \" U( R* ^- T& z; w4 z（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） % e7 l4 n/ a, U7 O5 j7 d) R4 S5 dHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. : e/ x7 H# l! D  P) u1 _2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. * K. e  v$ n! hHolmes: Granted. $ x. ], o& C5 f! n7 z$ u3 W3. ' \4 s& f/ k7 F7 s, J. b晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 1 u/ Z9 d: M* X2 n# A: Y' W% t: W5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 - d: X  `- F/ k. pWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． ' W- d- N4 z* V& OBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． * n1 x# w$ g8 N; Q+ HIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 " J$ k! H' f7 [* J（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） 8 A0 W4 n3 d/ t. S9 H/ MIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） & {8 P) G& V+ WIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. 2 W. c& o# Y! XHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. $ Y1 |$ Y  F6 u! H3 a路人警官Clarky上场。 % R7 o- T! ~! T8 J- SClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） # X/ E3 Q2 c1 ?* w( o* N得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. + v* K7 M0 d# m% y( \7 o* q10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） * G( l5 f; t! j$ s2 R5 \9 UHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. 7 ?* |2 y* k; B) O* OWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） ) o( ?4 x" X, G! s: Z8 ]11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… 5 h1 k" ]: W+ K& z$ ^; z) R3 _Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 ( s" p. B# [; M& i3 D4 c7 yHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 " F7 \4 }+ B/ n0 g2 i3 E7 p$ ULestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. , D9 @% J* B0 u13. $ @. u9 A4 }% @7 @& W* F' i接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 % V2 j1 `2 P9 ?$ Z2 Z& h$ s! p3 a话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） # C5 ]' g0 k5 U; R# [Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? * v* x. `# o0 Y* i6 ?* P: i1 fWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） % Z3 P) c& E% {$ v- O/ ~' AHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） " c" q, @2 ~! T" G# h+ C& }" @Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） 9 `1 w' ^" ]  p（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** 2 G" P& x: e9 `; \" U7 v总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……