《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 2 D4 K+ |- f! [3 ^' T*********** 1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 - M9 ~; j9 e. V) DWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. + _, a* i8 O- @0 D0 VWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） - v2 b$ ~- D- {' x- BHolmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. % w1 F  T) O9 }" s: `$ X（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） 0 Z' k0 N3 y" O) U# _$ j! L+ rHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． 8 o4 ~4 a2 U% l, J宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. 8 x8 j* L  ]2 M' {+ l# nHolmes: Granted. 3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 4 R+ Z& d" ?" ?1 P: H, _Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． ( V$ |* ?# T. J% _( }拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． ( Z8 |7 |: n  _: ^. b3 X. qWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 4 l+ x9 @+ D$ A+ _6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． 8 b; v8 s# v' ]3 ZBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） 3 X9 ]% A1 V8 d' AIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） 8 F7 |" S( X; E8 K, [" C7 OIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. , W# t5 i; S4 U" \; w: C3 i5 K9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 5 C. }1 O, |1 B! _2 ^, g$ \+ \Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. . d" y$ ?# H+ a( a  e" cHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. 7 ?! A5 ]9 t9 @( Y; X3 _$ cWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 5 n" H0 U! U7 L! U) [) X路人警官Clarky上场。 8 W! s0 _: h8 q8 D7 |Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 4 P, c- m, z/ L0 Y" i得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 : i- N, A# s7 e0 P% v, R: p- \% R' OWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? , f% q4 b' ~2 T: P8 v2 M3 v5 C( \Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. $ c& n; V0 p+ m2 u10.   \0 ~8 q. ]0 V1 D$ S& e墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 7 t/ \8 B7 b8 A; h11． 9 E! o/ p- P  @河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 6 m7 p: c& Y- C# B! {  MHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） 2 x, U* J: j4 J% u1 K& a( o2 fBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… : a7 n  B' |  @' g5 eWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 / ]# X1 O! M/ p! z) ~4 J0 L8 wHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． ( i2 a) }- e) [/ l" N4 N警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. ' R$ s& q0 e& u13. * F% F8 i4 e6 }" E" J接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 2 h+ K: G% T: b# ~Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） 1 g0 |7 |5 p5 f2 v# H% ]Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） ( K; d/ i) A& `+ D% l2 h1 HMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） " Q4 I' w; B- u% C' wHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） ( C' a# ^; l! AWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） & c& H; R4 s6 o1 v3 @+ WWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） * o) T; A% h# O4 c9 @, ]Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） ( R) |; U, [- d' p（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） : `+ n; U* S6 f+ U" d+ _  z*********** % w* W3 `0 g; ~( g4 L8 J( U总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……