 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 ) e. e* n9 n! A' ~: Z" q
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
1 t3 V: [ ]* W5 r* X6 MHolmes: I just picked it up.7 I* Z! e1 t- V+ n5 |. j
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
4 M1 p& z3 H# j% d! B) z! b: N" I8 _Holmes: Knew I forgot something., c4 v7 t2 D: D' \. @. z( I
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
6 g8 I" ^- y j- N' A0 MHolmes: You did.
|3 f" j6 J& u, ^) W( `4 w. n(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
( O" m" A% I. f2 D- _0 UHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 / H. ?8 \) ~9 c0 [ \, o0 @- @
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
$ a# F- L K) R$ s4 NHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
' b" L) i7 y8 h( u' H1 w0 @Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) / h9 R8 X/ \' J
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9 D" N( S" p$ \% [" u' l拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 + G; H M& b( L9 i+ \
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, N7 ?) m! L4 X; {# DWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
i; j2 X: F3 k% R. L0 Z- MWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) ! d$ H- \) }9 d& Y6 ?) O
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 0 Z" \* ~$ {) ?; e- J
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 6 [$ X( p6 ^' B: H) w6 I
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! a2 d& h$ C9 } OIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
# y$ ]# i& O4 w( A( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
# i1 S* z1 p4 F$ O* ?/ s# g9 PIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
6 Q6 K0 |4 [; U& CHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
" t) n H) \+ d6 k3 ~, LIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.$ R, z6 z* k# [3 k% ]
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 6 z2 p& b8 a+ y# ], [2 u/ m! ^4 c
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
4 P: |6 n: S3 e/ R+ G6 q: d6 e" GWatson: Get that out of my face.3 `" d$ t! e* _0 l. T
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
5 F1 |# b6 F5 W! D7 ^Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
4 @7 c' \; N8 ^2 L6 H路人警官 Clarky上场。 4 F; m1 B+ E6 {' q# p
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
9 ^5 U+ R& \5 |Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) 3 n" M$ m( n8 D: H
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 0 i, I4 l6 Y$ a7 a* `
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
* J) S: j! u ]0 ]Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.# S9 e* f, W" x" m$ _3 ^
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. A7 {2 |$ I$ {; f- y- s/ B) Z- I9 C' L2 s墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
$ ?2 ^+ M, a- v. B( _0 w) d( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
( A7 ]$ b: P- _& hHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.3 f" B$ g6 @. w
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
$ Q' T. j% R% ]6 b( @# a5 rHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
; P; g; ?! _ Q) sBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…2 E9 |: e* F' T) X% c9 O
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
v- m+ f7 U3 o# _; A死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
/ v- d n: h, r8 ^Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
( r3 {) ~8 _9 A3 |0 x0 g) h* P- N* |后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 0 ^6 A8 ?) Y% @2 \5 l+ I8 i8 V. P* C2 F
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 3 ~0 z {2 }% {' X3 i N1 { T
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/ N: [; q2 S6 j4 c" h; L警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
* h$ I0 @7 y0 M' X3 b; }* S ILestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.8 H( [& f6 x5 P- `9 Q
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( S3 J# k( v$ O" j& t接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
; {6 v1 ?9 Z. o. n! }话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 " S: Y3 X9 V" |
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
# @3 a/ ~: h( E' w$ {Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
1 b- S% J* l V. f6 lHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 2 }; @8 Z3 f G# F
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
F; L+ s" Q0 K0 x7 k* d- B; S+ k* lWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
/ U4 K; r* c; V5 ?Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 7 ~& V' k( i. a- R
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) & O. Y; k8 r; G' f# g
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) 3 `$ b6 L/ F& d: A- s) J6 i' X
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
' U7 W2 o+ s9 r: D5 b; t# i- qMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
) G) z/ U. F! q) T9 s- y2 c& k m( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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|( f( {) E' [) Y N$ \总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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