《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 " B/ L# ~/ {  C" M& ?*********** 8 U6 ^2 ]7 J" M  K* I* n1． ; c7 Q: J1 e0 f( h! f5 I影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 , s* A, j' ^/ PWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） # A) X1 M4 M, G6 N* dHolmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. . d  P' A- F& H$ B: ^' s+ O1 E  eWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） ( J5 @$ Y. w5 T+ R) fHolmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） * Q( h, R" Y( X+ J" OHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 0 z8 j' \6 Q1 g& h1 U; i# R2． : M2 x' d* z( B  B0 h宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 9 c4 G, H9 O( JWatson: Permission to enter the armory. 7 A! K2 U4 V" B( O$ w- u) ^" l+ lHolmes: Granted. 3. ) E$ F$ M3 ?- Y$ l/ {8 y晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 6 L3 N1 s1 ]/ q0 h$ I: tWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 0 j# @  h/ c1 ^, {4． : S. y# L  z- o9 }% @) w3 K6 [; H拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 & R% ]+ R: [/ \( _+ }' u' g5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） & k# F/ i9 e0 v( `  a/ e/ t6 o  T6． 0 w7 L3 `8 I; xHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 : L  `$ I( U: c6 B8． $ e" M  Z3 N. k5 Z0 DIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. ! x) h) o' t! p% `  A9． 0 g  U# O- u; x! P3 y4 `9 tIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 ! a$ w; j, t' D" L  p7 FHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. + P* H, \7 @4 p& ~) i% z" HWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 % S9 H8 Q2 z% N" u# H6 d: LClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. $ ^* b: ~' S+ f# S5 Z1 S  MHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. ( G4 r* q' q8 j+ c! N- a墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） ' Z. g  i2 m* ZHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.   u6 |& f7 d: [% DWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． . {& Z! n5 m2 T# |河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 ; A% ?: p! \9 ?$ eHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） 2 x+ t/ Z: |% Y5 @7 Y" EBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 3 |' T. G/ K; @3 D7 ~* uHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） ; Y7 S' k; p; }8 R: a! S12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. / s2 _/ u* z& o: b$ J13. ) _1 [. t1 e# E; {接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 , p' ]  Z: a3 m- ]: ~0 g( l话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 3 e% Z  j5 ^6 ^Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） 4 f$ L0 i# ~  Y  r: {" ~Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） 9 Z$ v. s1 X4 cHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? " H4 w! Z9 c9 }3 jWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） 2 ?0 r0 T) x$ |: kHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……