《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** / D) g2 m3 x  Z9 h' Z: J1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 3 b' e9 T  p4 e, u* n8 [Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） / M7 w' `$ P; d4 hHolmes: I just picked it up. 8 Q. E0 a2 s$ j1 q7 [; \Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. + ]; s  c# c4 c3 N6 @Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. 7 Z) H! Z! C! Y* l+ k7 Y4 z$ F（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 6 I+ n6 n6 V6 W7 L- o% O& B) Q: sWatson: Permission to enter the armory. ( X5 N- f4 Y' W4 K  UHolmes: Granted. 3. ( s) T/ A4 l4 u, m; e% R8 ?! Z晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。   p9 B5 r! T( {& J1 DWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 & _1 U- Y5 K+ N' v  U# q5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． ! K1 ]8 _% n5 z, ~0 JHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． - h* P. a. ?7 E- aBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 $ ?" T3 B" k  s8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 . ~& r( J& m* d: {（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） 0 Q1 D" @3 l) c4 h% R9 OIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） 2 z- l7 e2 }% r$ T% h4 s! ~Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. * w% ?, W" O- }& S8 [9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 8 \/ a# z# T! n: c( u: l路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. $ H! o5 R1 Y/ W# U. Y' I- WHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 5 Y7 ~, v( h) l; [" R得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? " I! X: z9 r8 S2 O) zHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. ' i. z$ J6 ^* ^  r+ K- ]9 `10. 8 D8 x+ B& k; T8 L墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） * R+ C6 d( N% N1 fHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. & v/ l5 D, |* G/ IWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 0 S1 C$ i1 _* p7 q, u  w8 ?11．   y# X; O% m$ J$ a6 P) j河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） " B1 V1 z9 E3 Y) b( eBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… 5 y9 {, k1 Z/ s/ ^( z% mWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）   h' D$ g9 z- |死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） ) f  c  G2 J5 C0 e2 ]. K9 N12． 5 P$ r1 O. d3 @+ Y* K3 f" @3 u  e警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. % m% _' A- _+ h% q: n  t接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 0 l# h0 k+ o5 L+ O: s( N# i7 W2 v话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） ( {5 ~% w8 J3 o, THolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? 1 v$ _: w& O7 r2 B8 TWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） 9 H# I/ `$ {3 z0 H* Q% a9 jHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） " M+ S/ P* x/ c  g2 h6 @4 g: g+ T$ zWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） / S: A) S. @# S1 a4 a6 @Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） & U' w* N2 O' n3 c, `  Y( K2 ^! u! m*********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……