 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 4 Y: H; G7 ]/ h3 m4 n4 F
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) % `3 ?0 N. _/ Y
Holmes: I just picked it up.$ Y' P, `$ x! P8 }5 W6 Z1 h
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
+ U( a# l% I0 g* GHolmes: Knew I forgot something.; L2 ] O0 m" S% j7 m9 J, x; L
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) $ z0 k5 s+ ~( t: v/ O, w3 s& z
Holmes: You did.
) t5 ?* N2 x1 L- C. ](注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
4 R! h6 [4 r4 u) z1 Y* XHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all." G$ i: }. E8 H4 b0 g8 Y
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 R# ^! q1 ~7 Y' d0 I. q* z
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
- M: u- s0 n; j- nHolmes: Granted.& I, H U$ _7 x# O" f# g) O
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; J! A. g' N/ k晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 & \) H; t& R- t I$ F9 Q& U: q) I
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 8 k; u9 `; j/ @
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& ]" Z* e, I$ B% J; J& D, z拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 6 f9 J i* ~0 L! Y* W, s9 ]" H5 _& y
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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$ y7 m* {+ s3 R3 A2 f0 \Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 ! T, O' }# u% |6 t$ N: F
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
$ Z1 z1 T3 T' [2 w/ [( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 9 S O. G: a2 a: ]6 P
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
1 U$ E" q6 Z! Z8 [8 ?, QHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) / P- `* J& P2 @" B" M$ o
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.6 ?7 e: o7 h7 W9 M
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/ C' _1 v) d3 h- bIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
$ ~* q% M$ i6 U1 G6 M( i2 QHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
" h' |+ Z* G5 [Watson: Get that out of my face.0 N* Y4 ?# c9 L/ K
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
, @1 |- E) g4 hWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
' K! S* E& j. @3 C9 d, G路人警官 Clarky上场。
* C" G1 L; I: z7 q7 `. N0 g) mClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
8 T- X) C+ C3 J/ k4 h$ M: WHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
% a Q$ \( Q/ W. H6 b5 Q得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 + T7 Q& ]! S9 k0 @! g9 `5 Z
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
' S! i) V9 e/ [( C8 V, r0 tHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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8 B2 A8 K) g4 v4 L1 [$ XHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
4 y: R2 D) P, f* X$ d8 b- UWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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3 v; Z: d( @% o/ D* U* ? ?河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 " [$ \" F( T* S; ?$ q
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
$ h1 @6 F9 L# R$ ]% ]" XBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
# j! m- S* j. p! u, T7 y' l( ^. S3 BWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 9 x" i8 r9 b8 E7 O6 f
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 5 p% F+ N5 O0 ^! O( M3 y# w
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
# a/ {; b: L3 y* R" [后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
5 b: K. h' p& ^/ cHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) ) U# Y3 a5 I+ _- j) X" |* G/ h+ g) ]8 X
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 & j3 `6 J% }# e+ u8 q9 u C# b
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 + c( m5 ]) K2 Q8 g
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
% E2 f, Z# G$ J1 A3 F5 bHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
' y* t; `- Y# e) d4 IWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) . y) {* q6 R: d* T
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
) k7 x3 W/ |+ C# M5 c4 pMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?" J8 p0 |+ c9 }& b5 Y
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) 3 S6 O- s0 g( S3 s) D! c2 h( Y
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) " l2 t: D; ?2 Z$ b2 Y7 w8 f
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
9 ^2 e6 W- n4 i3 a/ THolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
L5 b- Q$ H$ Q/ b8 eWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) , E1 L6 w+ |3 E$ I
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
: L" f. W' d, |) R4 R- f# c5 ?( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) 5 E7 L4 _- s# K! @! i
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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