 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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; \. I1 m9 Q+ R/ x9 }影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 N+ B6 a7 a. F! | U2 y
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) - F0 B6 \/ u" c+ g7 Q- `
Holmes: I just picked it up.
1 }: Z/ M* n; @9 H+ ^$ z7 BWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
, F7 ?% ?) T; _) ~Holmes: Knew I forgot something.8 R" h2 r& A9 i( x4 ~
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
0 ^5 u& w* w) l4 O% t" M; v2 XHolmes: You did.) E2 a/ l1 U& Q: K4 y
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
7 F7 G E u; }3 Y# _Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.+ T- u& K6 G; ^/ U7 X- c" M
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 8 \% S2 u6 V) t
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
# i# G- ]6 J* ~7 Q* v; b5 a3 x: OHolmes: Granted.9 q1 D* y1 J8 q. Q9 ]6 A' z
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 $ b. w4 M9 p# s1 o- v
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) / D- J6 Q( D4 V
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* e" E" T) L) s' T( b' p拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 8 L* H' A. p& H" D( h
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4 n# S- ^/ h: Q; ~2 |3 {Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
* y9 k: @2 K) j6 p! V; D) Z$ |: \/ ]/ uWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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" f1 `5 V' A, L( c+ h; DIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
?( ?0 j- f; d* X( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
' E0 ]; j1 |' d4 p; bIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?3 o8 R3 c4 K/ ^/ }/ @3 Z+ X U
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) : `. p& k% e2 D2 Q+ C! n2 j
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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- a; ~; I% {3 s5 ]4 w5 S: y9 EIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
$ w z4 O z% t3 R% a. t: NHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 5 a6 c; r& {' [$ v( H3 _
Watson: Get that out of my face.
! J8 A: F0 w& VHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
- L- z$ l& f+ w3 x' a, p( }Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
+ F9 k7 n, F2 _, g9 K8 A( ^ Z路人警官 Clarky上场。 ; {, C) R# P3 o; V. ]4 D* O/ t
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.' P7 ~ q$ D# d% e6 Z. I! `5 _
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) ; G- i( R6 B. _0 X8 [
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 . B! t- G: r8 u" P' c' {
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
5 G8 ]6 Y+ c, z4 ?3 W/ p5 PHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.8 |% p' }1 A: ^2 \
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4 ]7 o2 m2 i, a" M: C7 r墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 0 M" g2 E# i; X0 v7 j7 Q) o
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) - U D. Z/ P( ^2 b- V. q
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.! d2 y0 v' U% c; W5 {
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) / x6 b0 w( l8 v4 b1 r* I
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 - C" z1 w$ G: H. c% }; A$ {+ L
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
2 {: Y" @2 A( t# Z4 nBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…( n5 D( N( T, l# U3 S ^4 v* h, D& ]
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 7 x) x6 G/ x+ N, m
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 * d" I. x" ]6 n1 k. d
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) M2 H6 `% g m0 O6 V2 {$ r
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
5 i- h+ U- W# D# @! l$ _Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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t$ { H3 ^/ j# q, |8 M警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 # G5 y* m- _& U
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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/ E# V; } r" u5 ?5 V接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 2 `9 M+ o4 j6 ~) y$ I3 H
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 * `. `' d4 e2 c r+ A( z
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
+ @4 u9 J- m3 N& DWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) ( O) B4 E: o g& b
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
& r u6 c6 \0 ]( y( R zMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?* b4 w0 ~9 j6 |1 e5 l% n
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) - ~" h* B8 P8 w: T' f* ?
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
& \0 j2 j) O0 `& ~5 E [Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) ( S4 i* x5 m; I/ {& o. J2 }
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
# Y& `+ z. F% d- |" ^* Z0 OWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) # k6 G& ?2 g+ \; f7 s) i
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
: Y, Y/ h8 O# P8 Q7 _( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) : W4 n, C( x" p* Q/ U( X! D! J
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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