 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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9 { W( C s( g8 c3 C1 v影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
; B9 p$ c {8 N9 [7 ?5 nWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) $ H2 R& u+ e( O9 s0 d5 Z
Holmes: I just picked it up. Y% X- j: t. |: | p% h6 v# e
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
0 ]" f4 F" N3 z- S( g5 oHolmes: Knew I forgot something.' v {. n# ]' c$ V
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
5 v/ q; o: h2 H3 M jHolmes: You did.- x, w) T1 ^ Q4 p0 N. [ ^; T- t
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
+ b! v$ F+ Y0 N0 r4 K! MHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all./ _, q8 `1 Y1 `; t3 v
2.
. z: V: D4 U. `7 l! I% j, V宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 $ |3 ~7 P* q& q7 s/ ?$ e, J
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.% W% E8 ^3 U# ^0 l
Holmes: Granted.
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8 @+ S8 e$ }! s晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
& q8 _4 s6 b! T( a |* \ r% g+ N' nWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 7 [/ w4 f' d/ \. I/ w
4.
- g: B% _' Z0 X, q拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 $ J+ C* `2 s, k
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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+ y( I3 T/ q$ ^9 b! zHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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* Y u) s- v- x/ R1 F; hBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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; u# L8 {. s& E) x' `7 a: M- ?% hIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 $ M, [! J: g$ l! b' G9 o) T
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
1 ~1 ^% l5 o4 C4 C y* FIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
7 S) \4 y7 _" J( e7 f0 l/ hHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
: @- f! _9 D& x- z1 Q9 eIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.3 J1 Y6 m* F1 K% H
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
6 W5 `7 Q% n Z7 {# UHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
' ]2 S5 \6 v d. I4 v, Z) U( y- @7 {Watson: Get that out of my face.
& ~( k% Q- k# C% PHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
4 F$ G* T( R, ~) g. u& m5 s! aWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
1 K) l& B1 @- w. C) u3 [: R0 g路人警官 Clarky上场。
# i; L/ u8 P O8 b$ iClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
/ e7 F. ?$ B/ x4 q9 Q% M) IHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
; T4 t5 c! B. h得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
* R9 `. V0 m9 O: z) C5 zWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
% [0 A- E" `7 O' S1 JHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.; m' U5 q O2 L6 @1 \6 _
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- J9 L: R h, f& [" p" ^2 k墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 9 l, a3 o0 M( ?7 e
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) - B `: P: C3 i0 T
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
" Y1 O9 x, X$ DWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) & b1 L( v/ y: \1 Z4 l' ^- G, o/ H
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1 k3 {& l2 K( D! F河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 9 e5 e. u# F& V, \! o; m3 Q* I
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) - f7 j* N3 ]3 n/ K9 U' X
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…8 _: v: R L% M% J, g; [
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) & d& b9 c& j% p2 A2 I& y; q+ r
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
) w! c0 j1 `0 a$ R0 l ~( u4 _Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) 1 ~% k+ \7 l$ f% `( ?3 r. [) V
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
8 T2 K. F8 F$ b3 OHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
# z* p Y, @( @5 W% I B' y% _Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
, @" w- l2 L2 e z. C% P话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 ) J$ r6 u" D! ]% A3 P
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 9 S' i( v/ D9 t! }- f/ h/ T
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 5 W b2 L) d, c, ^9 R" V. F1 l
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) ! V2 E6 n6 V4 X s+ t5 E3 r
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?. r z, Y7 f; U7 E0 r' x, ~
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) & t; a# Z6 k7 a5 f
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
: P! }/ Y2 R2 [3 r% c7 XWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
7 ]) Y# D/ ~- [1 W, W" l$ kHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) 6 @) I) w; z' G- |6 p
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) # d' ]8 m0 y) i2 V( k8 n
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) ) M* K! H! c: q9 p m2 h
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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2 b b$ Y! b5 j# i) Y, G. Y) l总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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