《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 - \  n  [; P. W) g* T; }*********** # k, {- w1 g/ G  f( @, a2 \1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. & P: H* a$ [% h$ i& x5 R3 |4 lWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. 5 v8 C# J! t- Y" C! ^（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） ! b5 {1 Q, i3 Z/ VHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. 3 x1 r, f7 M" B3. - p- _& o' B/ w+ A6 O& M晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 . H- T$ ^+ Y, z- ?$ K0 TWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） # q' x; u5 N( l1 O4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） . d$ B4 ~; X. K6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 & [% l# h! N3 L/ V6 q7． . a* Y( {6 Z* J( M1 U0 uBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 # i( B+ S$ `/ W) G0 _8 H) J8． : `% C7 k3 ^) [' fIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） 9 K5 V! M( a. ]1 ZIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 & p( g  E: t/ d3 I: }7 j5 n7 \4 s) vHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 3 R, z0 T2 c% [, C  C路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. . y* S1 E  B& h4 x- p. j- K( QHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 5 L9 _1 H: b; p! a得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 ( U4 g& J3 X7 s* i# VWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? . y, X0 ~- f: z- s' b" p( {Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. + {% O5 {2 e* \9 ]" [10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 ) _1 S7 s* z8 y0 X8 C  W5 q4 Z7 s（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 5 f1 c! U( ]/ e! }' R# R4 n3 `, @Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） * s. ^: l$ K: ^# @4 O4 [9 j2 \Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） . O+ v* p* [! {4 U5 I死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 9 [" b6 w5 o- z: g6 {4 VHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 1 {' d  W& q' b9 l5 ]% JHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 4 M2 g- l: U3 l- |$ ~' \% fLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. + `' ]4 V. D. t: f! |5 b13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） - f5 r4 f6 _" z+ Q) X! L2 eWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） 9 ~7 @! ^$ z* fHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） 9 d2 E! b) h: ZMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） # z" Z& V/ X8 oWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） 6 P! ]7 Z5 w7 j7 n* lWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） / }) V* A* t1 ?; i# ZMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） " m2 t+ W  D9 u8 f" Q$ G（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） ' y* q& ]4 O( m: B2 |) K*********** 0 y- Z. q* s* Q9 B  S( h总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……