《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 5 d& P  [- K0 B2 o*********** ! P8 `5 o' X  z; m$ ]/ h0 r1． ( a$ C3 A1 X# l2 m. H  H; _, {影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） 2 f4 b, g2 H. g. R* s% Y3 C/ w$ EHolmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）   C1 `1 |8 G- A6 x3 X  x( U1 N7 uHolmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） + \4 `! [; t3 u" M' v/ [Holmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） 7 X1 D4 Q7 @' h! pHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． 0 X7 @; f5 g! n) ]1 `; t" t8 T宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 * L4 O2 D+ X* h) k4 l8 Z$ w8 m0 dWatson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. 8 o; B2 K9 z6 V$ `/ l' Z: c3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 " G( N0 K9 ]7 |Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） . ~+ O, u3 F1 @2 A1 ^6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 2 x' g2 u4 ?6 [7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． % x- q+ p2 G* X: N# J0 ]Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 - R" M. U) V' o& Y" U（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） " D! X1 e  N* e9 L4 g- ?Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? ; f  X' R9 M3 }3 h+ ZHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． 5 q& b5 }- f9 Q) T* j2 }% OIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 2 N5 x3 g  K0 ~' L( L8 o2 LHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. " h1 C8 ?  m9 A0 x, Z$ S/ bHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. * @7 [' ?/ w+ t5 N& VWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 0 v* }2 A: V! M+ V4 O得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 6 w) R: E* s. n9 v; a3 r10. ) ?9 b3 V+ h  z8 g0 h" O( L. b墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 " G: L/ w4 }5 J  v( _; X4 e（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. ) B& s  ~" d1 z1 e0 l7 rWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 0 e0 H' ]1 S# i& |! WHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） " N+ P/ \9 @  P# l( n2 ]Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） ; M; m5 G/ N: G9 d" L/ h2 M死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 * H" s7 M; G  Z% x$ {" Y# P% hHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） ) y  y# |) H8 H/ n! B3 a12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 $ K* _' V6 B+ b7 M/ o& [0 U* iLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 2 N1 B& v, q$ P  t3 y0 {. c) y$ t6 J; BHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） 5 V& C; Z1 t7 K( m2 H! w, `0 iWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） ! o% O6 R$ P. A( PHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） ! B+ i) |* z. b/ P* d% vWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） / T* E6 c( k  M, ?( V  qMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** 7 b/ p) Z5 P3 {( X; R0 e总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……