 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 ! Z6 A+ |1 S6 J6 D) s# t$ G' b* F2 F
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 2 D8 X7 N4 u: f( Y$ ^5 L: E0 G
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) 7 V- X" l; G/ w7 D4 P. g8 d5 l7 c
Holmes: I just picked it up.
1 J3 S1 D7 t3 g! U# t3 X( Y0 tWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
) E& ^0 n( Y! A4 c/ |7 RHolmes: Knew I forgot something., T2 c, T5 h8 r8 A! p3 x$ O' o
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
, h r( r) R! E( w3 v8 z6 H9 bHolmes: You did.5 |( ~( A3 G& o5 k; t, {* @3 B: Y
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
+ R. c. z/ t2 X. C* _- l: i9 S7 F3 oHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.5 L, M. c% x$ r& N+ W
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
, M, b/ W7 y$ u+ @5 C# |Watson: Permission to enter the armory." D5 A) d* k) { ~1 D, `
Holmes: Granted.9 T1 U: w o* v. G0 J4 `* U
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2 L, H( k! ^( k" \* Y; }0 T' ^晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
" u# R( \' Z* r* v( q# d/ cWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 7 C' G% _1 J! a/ ?9 G2 U0 e8 T5 H
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7 d- w7 U D! f0 T9 U拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 6 B* k% `2 Y* H9 `& ?7 ?. a$ z
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\2 h$ p' T AWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 : @& @+ r7 b% V; d* L
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) / Z. ^! X7 c- w# o% b+ ?
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, Y: d! C% B5 A0 F" @0 e$ f( HHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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2 e6 x( Q4 }) W3 N4 _$ xBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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0 A* S/ [; I! ]2 X# d6 kIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
. p6 n, b" c9 @# [; b# b( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
& {2 \) K) V( R# y0 ^Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
, _, X- P+ \+ a/ \" l: ?3 zHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) - O" G, I: e% j' O2 O7 k) y
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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. j) J0 I$ @9 A/ I3 ?Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
2 ~. Z8 B% S% @* A% N DHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
3 M) p6 g% V: T3 uWatson: Get that out of my face.) n9 ~0 y! p0 l x
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
# o3 E4 H, X- `. pWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.' h% }0 w S) A& U
路人警官 Clarky上场。
; ?1 y9 [! n+ B; ?8 k% @! GClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.4 |; J s% M, j8 S3 N
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
# q2 k8 [8 H: M( ]+ C& S得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
( J* G. Z& r& ]# ?5 N( ]Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?" F8 u8 {8 [. J/ R Q
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. s: i( l8 B$ r2 o( h$ F# p
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
/ [+ x5 f1 c7 ^# I( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) & g6 U* K3 y- t' ^; M' `
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
! k: j8 ~: Y' rWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) 7 `# m4 ?* {9 Q- F* W
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; J5 u K4 F/ N* r河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 , l% G3 U( K3 \( S) E B! J
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 4 v- R: d, D. ^' V$ A, R( \4 c
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…6 k, d6 V9 k& N7 I& ?# d" a$ Y# M! [
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) ( }" R9 @0 f. p( z
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
9 d/ H- i; ~4 T8 l* C: P" m2 bHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) 5 n% |* {- Q; j* A2 _' u- _
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 1 u; j! Z) ^5 F: P! h- p9 r( ]
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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6 O9 }6 J/ K2 [7 b% e1 R警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 + z E; }9 F) h% L
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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) X+ l0 ]+ A; _% f X7 G# R, X2 b接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 , u( R/ q1 g" X/ G& g. h
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 # Q4 p' r6 f2 f- E! [
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) , K4 c1 @9 |' {" ?* O
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
. \5 c1 m6 A& O6 L nHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 7 [$ [+ R/ \- K. S) m4 T! z# o
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?9 M7 _' t4 d( X. A: H
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) ! z, q% x9 D' p0 h, ^0 ]3 w
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
/ `; k, Z0 ^0 ~0 O }Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) ' Q4 ?* S4 d, Y( a
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
. ?8 L5 ?8 S1 k, j5 {( }Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) 8 ^' \" }2 T4 v u; z
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
0 V% l" Q& n2 J$ T( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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! S( T( F6 {0 i/ @3 G总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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