 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
9 }4 W) ?" O0 R" P) a* ?Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) ?3 O: W9 A# L
Holmes: I just picked it up.
3 V$ b- x9 c4 f1 h* u. ]Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
}9 _, l" u: f0 @2 R: JHolmes: Knew I forgot something.1 ~# x/ R [0 O0 ^! D
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) ) L8 L) L3 p' W/ ^" w8 w6 H
Holmes: You did.
. |: f0 N- ?6 r' t5 u(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) : A' S; z! [$ M3 G- D0 T) |! @
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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/ Y5 K: B8 C1 E# m* `2 b6 P宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 / V) t' W- P# q P L
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.; Z' c6 v+ @1 F! }
Holmes: Granted.& ^, G# [7 ~0 H% q/ [, S
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. L3 T- A4 q& W6 e$ o8 p晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 5 P0 H4 i0 k- {; z3 I( q; s
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 6 \. Z& K+ m) m6 G, G, U
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, R/ |# g) r5 Y- R: w拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 8 a" w5 x& m9 E
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/ [$ g) i" }; y! \Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
* @! [+ Z- W( q, b3 jWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 $ @2 `+ d- T9 F3 O
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M3 G5 a- o0 bBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 " _, K% A1 `/ l/ W$ P# E. G+ F
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) * M y+ T( w8 \, R* i- `( \, n* T
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
9 r5 D, N- G! [0 z, @9 Z3 eHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
0 b, ^& s' U& k' x0 y5 o+ x( \Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.( |% V F# u2 R% @) |( N& A
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
2 j8 A! D3 _' I+ L' B5 P1 EHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) $ {+ A2 Y. _- j, p
Watson: Get that out of my face.& V5 Q4 R; \/ @' \
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
/ D4 M; N/ R& p# W1 XWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.5 l* {0 G$ q* z
路人警官 Clarky上场。
; I y/ W, e5 x, xClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
+ H' r2 W# B. C' wHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
. f! |* H# {* J: _得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 + q5 ?( d' R) p7 d
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?) ^2 {7 i- v) a4 X8 t
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.1 W2 M4 o4 u+ C3 h+ C
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4 f4 Q3 p' V* X: A墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
% V6 s, S$ k# U2 ]# E8 M E- u( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) ( B8 l& v* P3 o/ H" H) a& u- ?
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.4 k( e. U; ^: d0 N/ j7 C: [: z
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) # C) T! P3 H; S) {; t" R6 u5 Y
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]; m2 P9 {2 S. A' i河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 ) I4 V7 ~' m' v6 k
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
' V6 Z; Y5 \4 ^0 p& j" mBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…) u F/ P# c6 `7 s- R
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
% U: f4 _* ?3 W死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
+ z0 g, p' w. e. E/ }! g) }Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) 5 T8 W q* b1 o8 c0 {8 b0 |- O* D2 t
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
L! _: b! A! m. N; @6 z8 sHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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: o0 v W( A, `/ @4 a# X5 T警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
- x3 Q$ ~+ U; X( k8 d6 i2 \8 T" ILestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
, [! C3 h h6 x4 U: p$ O6 d" P; }话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
' F5 ~$ z: @4 O$ ?8 n6 Y9 H2 {$ @Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
( P3 W1 j7 Z; ~$ _' uWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 0 G& f* G( z$ S6 x
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) , t, f9 K$ E7 T* ]3 r
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
- c2 I% n7 B; R. J! XWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
# o$ ]$ T7 W M# k5 LHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
/ l. H, ?3 w' Z jWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) # s( ^$ J- a* M j) f2 ~
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
" x* R. a) L$ T* @Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
3 D7 r( o9 T( e# @6 HMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
; W0 f% c) d8 Y( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) 8 \6 B0 u7 |' e% O
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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