《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 1 W1 f. g1 w  P2 K- ?*********** 1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. 6 {; |$ F) L, v; ?( DWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. + x6 T" E/ N, s+ z/ z! M, wWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） + r7 a2 x1 K. A5 y  _Holmes: You did. / ?8 `3 v* \7 l$ i（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. ) ~$ n# z# P- S& X- H2． 1 @7 S6 Q9 E' I; U+ _" c# N- t宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. * x& D. [8 q( b8 u' _* R" cHolmes: Granted. 3. + @* A, I9 R5 |2 n! _晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． * h  q: F! f  \6 `) QHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． 5 f) ~& B, E! l# D7 ZBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． 2 r- ~; }0 q& k& v9 BIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）   U! I/ o5 C6 R9 i2 xIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． . F3 @: ^: i* }. `Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 " W0 K8 i: y9 v1 w( kHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） * \) C1 ~1 }. s6 G: uWatson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. ) W$ S/ H. D8 m路人警官Clarky上场。 8 b) h, w# ~: iClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 % T; G& x* T) T! _3 W  }' tWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 5 b( a/ G  `- ]& k9 \11． - B( m* Z. W9 J/ m( i河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 ; _( n8 K2 p: n" KHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… 1 d% r! H& _- X% GWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 , j6 A) j& J3 T+ BHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） + C8 P: K, l+ f: `3 D% U12． 3 ~1 B- S$ O9 K0 B6 c' n, j0 B* D警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 * M3 C" |+ |, U$ Z& V+ S  QLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. ( S6 \, u- S5 C- {接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 . Z: v+ d  X% r1 x/ z% e话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） 7 c2 {, D; G# _( pHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） * X* t7 R2 d) E! U4 }Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? $ Q8 j. k+ X: w) ^0 W% @$ f4 IWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） 0 {5 u$ ^, T$ G: I. UHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） ! \3 ]+ |( g6 `& k5 RWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） : V; C* Z" r! n" R5 ?/ K1 J- S- oWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） ) f2 C6 j1 O" n4 |: UMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） : f# |' V2 \( s8 I（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） / N* y8 E# F( n, x1 b$ ~6 Q. M8 V*********** * t# W: p8 r! N总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……