《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** 1． . r2 E! Z" N' I, P& q& f. S/ U( @7 P影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。   P% u4 Y' A# \+ y/ G5 nWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） 4 |$ x" p' J5 h% q$ EHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 9 ~9 x; S* U6 ~5 ]! ?, e/ NWatson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. 3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） & [$ r( g+ X$ k4 N7 J4． % l! [0 Z& _% X4 h0 E; F  c' f6 n拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 : [6 _; h8 d* p6 L# d4 f' c. q7 A5． / g/ c4 e7 Q0 c! U9 |6 o, u' {Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? & o( b0 F8 D8 g- t2 I+ r' xHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 2 \# M2 _  n, k: l9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. ; E( T$ G8 Y" c" v% H2 g: n$ W; zHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 8 i8 x* ~1 [6 [' W* s5 g! l' w' t路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 3 m! J, q- H  ~2 c: DWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? - Y  c1 E5 j" Z$ n# G* o7 q% KHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 6 k& R/ _% R) K* e: F8 b/ L3 F10. 1 d/ B7 J2 W) Z+ n3 C3 P* I) |( {墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） " U# L9 ^+ Z' w8 M8 u1 UHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. 4 f' l: g; Y. f# r. AWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． ! |5 T+ K. Z& m河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） " [& ?. w) n" g9 RBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） $ J9 P. j% z9 p9 I5 O/ U+ E后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 / l. r3 c- ~/ l7 ?$ k% g5 `$ cHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 0 _9 G* O$ I* [/ b% @9 Z5 a3 V: t12． ( D: f4 ]0 O7 Y# Y警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. 6 H2 v4 n4 J6 J/ W( l接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 % `5 r8 |7 z# D话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 0 ?$ w: U9 h! P" _! d5 I$ GHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） ' C  r( c/ Z. VWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） 5 B, p: w! y4 A, pMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） ( z  s" {. R3 X' `) hHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） 2 J5 z! f! H: A/ K  XWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） / h2 H, {1 Y) K. ~# c9 L（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） / l$ k$ m  ^4 S: l9 A0 P*********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……