《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 8 u+ h8 h, ^" ^9 s2 _, o1 P# G*********** " Y4 g& K) q: Z+ A" w4 R) p1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. + d" `4 F+ b- gWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） % Q! p9 Q& G8 u5 f% P  S- G9 bHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. - ^9 O, r$ N! k, {2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. / c. b- W  l7 y) BHolmes: Granted. 3. + y2 V3 Y7 b' l' P: N& Y/ S晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 $ g. d3 |, p* F, Q3 l  NWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． ( F8 A" a# n" ~( K+ ^( e拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 & D4 h3 z7 J3 n" ^, m3 xWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） + ^- _$ G3 E  Y. ^1 H6． 3 h9 P. W: ^" l, a' P8 x0 H: x: sHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 # s6 ]5 g9 Y& |# [8 |7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。   V; @. U. e1 F& R' ^. |3 O, k- z（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） 0 I& @' T) O9 C* [1 M4 q1 BIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? 9 `+ y; _" q* `/ K$ j. G+ xHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）   ]# ~' v) N2 S" v! l8 x5 |Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. & v: c5 {( ~; H1 _9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 ' j! b! f" Y/ gHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. 9 e5 `6 ]( J+ t# T; {  @Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. 7 ]* b2 _7 m1 zHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） . J; A3 K, q9 p; g( @; P% I6 f% m/ e得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 3 j) H; D- u7 e7 {& zWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? , ~3 n- H& t+ D# U3 b$ FHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） ! R" L3 w4 i5 P6 b! U+ s' WHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 * ?/ V* H6 E' V" K2 lHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… / Q, f8 B( c! g1 ?' L: @Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 0 \1 q& |( r' J2 VHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） & s. i4 [  P: `, B1 W后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． & v6 K, z0 N' U1 t2 n" N; J警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. " V2 ?" h  a$ \* B$ C13. ' _- S! @; K* l接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 " J7 U  l; s4 }: K0 T/ O" f话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） 4 F; t" }1 c" W  b, IMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） ' c( W" f6 _! z8 y* YWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） ; \: V9 x+ p5 _* U" zMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** , M' v, |2 G  _2 u: ]2 M总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……