 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 / @" ?; y' ~2 e- t8 G- s5 ^
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) 1 s1 H1 C/ U3 b4 J$ P
Holmes: I just picked it up.; {! v( P1 I% b4 G, V9 @/ p& f
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
% I, p7 n& A( S" ZHolmes: Knew I forgot something.3 {( G. M0 {$ A% {6 O$ B& [( U+ }
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
; b. w6 ]; B/ M: O, y8 pHolmes: You did.# [9 r8 Z; h: E# w
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) 5 a2 }) V+ |, S$ |1 U0 o
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 ' P- B6 m" S( ?, _/ G
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.3 G+ L2 o* W9 e% X& L, t7 M1 E9 }
Holmes: Granted.) C7 L9 q1 y/ z. W/ \
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1 T0 s3 K2 e: ^3 G6 n8 f, u晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
& j2 a. @: Z2 R. ~% b @ |' \Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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$ C% h8 e/ ?* O- C3 Q1 {: c/ d拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 ; j- G8 e9 O; U. M/ e# i
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# [1 x/ @ [# [5 sWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
2 b) t U5 U: a7 hWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 4 }) I0 R3 X$ J
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+ n( {) Z1 b) K2 aHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 " x2 ^5 D3 ^8 _2 ~& Q8 o
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 , ]; s, D" ]6 L2 b
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. A( ~# D, R: `Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 9 h: R# I/ T, W$ n
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) u$ C; R( R5 l: q: @+ p/ l
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
! t& p. }6 j( x- i% E7 t1 XHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
/ k5 H" t5 ^" ^& B; SIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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4 {0 H6 _3 J+ Z+ O4 @Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 8 O& G- ^" ~# [0 d3 f
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
( O6 J4 }+ y/ @2 A9 T1 ]Watson: Get that out of my face.
8 v; n& T& [: b. c. E- DHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
% g( s! E: N$ t% I& h8 u2 S; uWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
+ C: r8 ^. _& t3 K0 O6 C: I. z路人警官 Clarky上场。 ' \ K" @9 |7 X% F8 F5 g
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.' j5 I* b0 r- Z; U c* `& u
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) 6 n9 Y8 g% W; u' X- O1 D. ~
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 - w7 Y) D3 I2 H5 H8 n! _ e: E
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?( B- ^) ] q, Z% ?' ^, L
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. k# C/ V; E: U3 p. [+ G
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
' A" s) W9 A% x# T+ f( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
2 c5 }# K5 }& n' yHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely./ m% C( o2 w" t; v4 j) s1 @: ^
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) 5 \1 ?9 k1 {, r4 X
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
) r! _% y: i# }Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 5 z ]4 T% g- D' y. {; X) [
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…- q+ F8 h6 s! v! z! |
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
2 L3 R0 N6 ?4 f# \1 e) s2 g4 l死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
8 p5 U3 k. U4 |" {$ ~/ u; hHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
1 @6 r0 R/ e6 U- a9 l: a后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 ) q0 c. S, D- @* ]
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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. L/ M* [% {! e# U# G! X& Y2 ]警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 4 r6 n- K2 J) b
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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0 T6 o: O0 M5 I& H+ T( O0 T* ~$ a接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
* z3 E' W, P2 `8 S; @话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 . e2 @# K# m7 B" _" Z& t4 j
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 1 Z7 R8 D" F; M+ Y: r
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
5 c' t; T% ?* k" C% S9 F5 \Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) / T; \9 H: }3 x# F5 o* L
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?5 r! l1 T6 d* C; g0 {; A
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
8 i6 E/ B4 X& `Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
. y5 Y+ ^: G: Y1 wWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
5 N2 J0 v& }" l- Q S3 U1 ?; m+ AHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
5 v L# @. C5 hWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) ) u' G" x& }: ^5 {, j
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) * @! t) b! `$ t9 ?2 Z
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) ( x* `, W: h; p3 v4 o1 g
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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