 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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% y2 ]2 Q0 c8 b! e影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
- ^# }$ G$ Y) Q9 p3 b2 _8 UWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) ) g! A' L" S4 [7 @9 ?, f- D, v
Holmes: I just picked it up.
5 T% O$ J# q+ e$ G9 J0 F; TWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) ! r4 S R- }$ R/ q: `" g J3 L- I
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
- A# W P% T) w! E% xWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
; u& O! Y& b6 J# L; J0 }- vHolmes: You did.1 o# p2 @5 Z6 l: Q+ s2 [" s
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) / t- \$ q4 J0 H, y
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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" j: [' T! C7 m5 j5 b7 Z1 n' j宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 , I3 B' Q* d4 T2 A% M; {$ n
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.! _& B# F& t/ k4 ?! p8 U
Holmes: Granted.
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# _) x( q. f+ z晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 " q# E( I/ x* D/ F# I8 a
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 2 d# J: e7 b! X# k5 C6 {+ q
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3 c9 F- H9 M; a b: W6 p. e6 r! ]7 I拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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6 H6 I# P8 h4 B! p/ SWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
0 J& @- |/ H: O. A. D+ ]" W4 PWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 4 E2 s# n6 _, p m% m Y( p: p
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2 c9 O7 k0 `+ I$ hIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 / I9 M& b) X _1 Q9 k% N5 S
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 3 y% n% i1 g) ?: U( n
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
8 l I; N/ N b6 {Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) / m( B. z0 [+ }/ A
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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. o- _; a. h7 @( N1 R/ NIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
3 E3 I; w! w/ M; [, t& v* HHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
9 J1 M1 Q% ~6 X" z: i0 b$ v; ` uWatson: Get that out of my face.
5 f* Y% W: n; O" aHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.2 ]' A9 u, O# H3 R4 G
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
( [5 z7 k! j- x% W路人警官 Clarky上场。
2 j/ P4 Y5 m; RClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
3 U' o' U. l. @' S4 e8 oHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) " d$ |: F( W8 ?) k* m
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 : H6 g$ v8 V, F& `+ g8 e
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?# N f6 p' F* y5 {
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
! ~4 a6 {3 W# V) F1 ` \4 `' Y( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
7 \, J7 j- v" Y- F1 `. ?& [1 ^Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.: y1 r, A' ]% F7 s: R g
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
% ]+ P y7 ]2 K* ]% C+ BHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
1 h+ Q8 `- l2 I$ H2 |Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
0 g% F5 E/ F2 V3 K; Z) HWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) : R3 V2 V( Q& M. M8 C* L
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
$ U8 P: x, L8 T0 \' [, kHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) 1 Z( t7 F9 e9 K5 Z
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 1 D' s- U% }" x
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) / j% x3 G2 M' Z1 ]1 r3 Y7 h9 V% ~
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 ! Y& }& }7 Q, F- M
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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3 Q5 Y& w' ]1 T& ~2 Q: a1 @9 h接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
. ~3 }* {) c( @" L3 j/ |3 @$ u话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 . ]9 n5 `. a1 d. s5 r' R/ z4 o% _+ e
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 8 B4 E; S& E0 v8 ~
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) ; k; U9 A1 A* f( {6 J. a" G: t& H
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 6 g% Z; v y9 R. N
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
. L0 p$ T! k( h% A% F5 ~# t- I; |Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) F5 l+ l/ X' R) T8 K5 \; L: X
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
2 o% M- D% W" U5 m7 s$ ~" lWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
1 |3 W+ K3 H G; V# ]Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) 6 W; @. Z3 K+ g# Y% @
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) " v1 _* C4 T+ Y$ j6 Q
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
" H o: T7 l% w# t9 k5 {( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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6 ?+ |% N- [9 T4 R/ Z; ?总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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