《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 & K2 d4 i! e" S9 ^8 w*********** 1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。   P6 t( |% j2 P* B# V( g. H6 j; }Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. 6 Y' s1 m/ Z  h% s( C6 ^Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） 5 H6 q0 e7 |  j+ i5 OHolmes: Knew I forgot something. # ~( w: u0 E  S4 ^1 PWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. - V: x  c6 D* w（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 8 a5 |) @) `2 Q* z2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. ) l; Y5 z) Q3 }& i# C# {3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 5 J5 u8 y( {% d: m- k4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 ; H! V# y/ B0 ^* j' s5． 8 H* A/ ]' p: o. u4 O" GWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 3 q* v* n$ m  y! b  H1 l6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 . m: P1 ?& x5 h7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． : z% Z& z0 Y7 {Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 # {5 o: ]8 `" f) \4 G4 k* r（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） 4 @& t1 `) t! G6 wIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） 5 J3 x" a+ n* K0 h8 C% E3 J2 hIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 8 E. V8 `7 [- a& m: S2 W7 Y9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. 3 k6 P; {: k- {1 X+ V2 ^Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. & O1 u4 O4 y+ h" e. d$ `- B% A. UWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 - ]# z( D) ?) Z: \Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. 7 n- {# e; P$ F0 n, b- z0 C$ vHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） ! p+ l- |% c! z9 F4 |# _得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 " w3 n5 J: p, H5 l# J8 YWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） + I  i5 W6 d( I) x( R11． * h1 n/ M/ Z# w9 d' ]河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 / k, P' P6 Q* `9 s! h: _& Y: cHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） 8 h) l, K, I. p+ qBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… 7 y' v( c" t6 z$ J  VWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） ) q$ x. p' c5 G; [- H& C# O死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 6 @) {) Q5 c/ F, }; I" pHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） ( R/ I; R3 p2 Z) f0 O6 m& C+ T后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 6 _  i) Q/ f( }, r12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 " G$ V/ _! W7 pLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.   x+ T. N7 ?: k( X% L13.   n, N' ~* b) v( x# t接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 - [1 Q# Q: p' y话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） - r! W8 K$ Z0 gHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） $ b$ m  J) z, PHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） " ]* G9 H0 T3 `2 r) x0 \Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） ; D) P+ j4 ]& P" O2 _Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） ! m% X) n" y2 t) o（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……