《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 ***********   l( z) \6 E9 X1．   m2 n1 B' k0 v影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） ( J% L- k. m  j7 L8 A, q) r. WHolmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） * g- U8 }, z& J% y9 Z; ]Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 3 W5 G3 q& g6 }2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. $ K( c/ \/ c. S/ h. H% xHolmes: Granted. ) Q0 Y/ Z1 M& y' L3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） $ X1 b( x6 ~1 x! {2 W1 K4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． - c# s0 x" D  u  f/ @  ]Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 4 r9 z+ {- Y2 d' yWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6 A, ]) \! A* h% E* ~0 c6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） # H( a* ^5 [$ v- m8 MIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? & c3 X' _% C% [1 ]* e* |) THolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） ' C2 x6 R. ~( x# p. |! E* HIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） 4 ~* b$ V$ e$ k1 ^) J4 Q3 |Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. : p0 _9 X; H- k) d+ o& a路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. 4 V$ B$ c, Q1 I. T+ qHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 ( c3 [8 q2 X: v2 X: |3 W; u8 O$ k# mWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 9 ^, _. |9 m) [" L! _4 h墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 " x1 z4 M/ ^" W6 L' @3 t（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） 9 o8 c" Q: ~# I. S' Q; N4 nHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. * e* z2 A: @; H+ \0 tWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． ; _6 U  G! k: [4 o2 S河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… 3 ~: P. t  K" H: E+ XWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 2 m- E" g- `+ c" x# Q2 _6 V+ u0 z+ H死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 ! B, [. h; ~9 Z& [/ ZHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 6 d+ c. @. a4 W8 b7 u, Q后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 5 l; I5 q% |2 eHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） / _! V: c% g. ]9 K; r/ A3 T' \Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） - [% R! c- B6 @, W+ r; kWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） 5 r" \  s* p4 x8 t" gWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） * d* g  b2 A8 W: cMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） ' P: i! f* N3 }（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……