《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** ; K& c0 F5 `. V+ T* s6 I1． - w  T. n- N1 E影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） , M1 v7 \; ~; Y! n! Z' yHolmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. 2 g- P+ {- T9 q. n（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 3 Q/ F' {" m: ^3 X% `2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. 3 h, S2 U. G, U- ^" UHolmes: Granted. 0 y. v; A8 L% Y. t$ E4 I3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 3 i' B5 `% ]: Q( h* pWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） " c* m9 |$ R9 R% d6 i/ D: m4． 8 r0 E- G- C  z7 e# L, A拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 ! e, W- T$ f/ x2 j* T, T( X5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 0 ]% k( G  v6 ^, G& m4 PWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） & c+ x: ?3 S7 O  r2 J# s$ ^6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． , ?! M% z2 f, }6 I; cBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） 5 ^! }6 f6 K  ^. k' q9 M7 @( \8 oIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. : y& J. U, B4 ]6 Q9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. " T5 |! a7 T' m; i6 S3 h2 f/ sWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 8 X2 ?( U. E6 D5 O* S8 [+ O路人警官Clarky上场。 ' `) f% ]  \; G& Y; t6 W, \: i; GClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. ) F; }$ N# T# k: b% |' V" THolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） # j+ }1 p1 E9 m2 Q- L( q; Z得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 0 l% t: ^3 u) {, p) lWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? / `; U) x" W. p6 ?+ S  U0 L2 [, {; iHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. & B1 }6 P2 `) Q) J3 Y( b' v墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 5 e! p8 M: L' B' N# D8 q+ M11． 0 j7 l8 I* G6 T& K) G( Q河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 2 L! l, f; o  }; O" JHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… / X0 C% L6 c# B2 I5 VWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。   V/ ?% _* W  ^0 P2 iHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 9 E2 k! _0 P9 m% q5 @后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 & [6 {* w2 j1 J8 M( Q& GHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 8 }3 r  B6 b% P* {12． : r0 t8 H$ T8 I/ ?' l5 u警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. * j1 {& I4 |/ A6 z& J9 J13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 . j" Q: x' C9 \, }1 W2 v话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 7 z! W4 _4 Y9 j9 W/ NHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） & {3 Q( j* a  i% Z5 |. H( fWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） # O8 J- R- l. d0 j  ~) KHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） 5 ^5 k7 V6 E' ^; Q* x9 s  F$ g( d: oWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） : L2 \# _8 G  r2 U+ S（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） $ i0 g+ q( @& @4 t. `! C* ]*********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……