《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 8 j1 E8 [2 F7 G) Q  Z$ C" l4 B! n*********** 1． ' ?5 D" R' X+ t4 M: q6 b" f影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 5 ?3 ]+ M" o9 @& o& a/ ZWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） , {6 O: k& R3 w8 JHolmes: I just picked it up. " Q# U& E( {* X6 r! w5 {Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. 5 _4 o5 `- L- M* r' m1 wWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） - V3 ^* X/ e! L8 K  A! T4 F  |Holmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） # {: t& b$ r+ k" Y( f1 tHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 5 w" R5 m3 j; i/ w2． 3 q: H: G& m' H9 u* D" b! Y7 l宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. 3. ' [" A+ l' b) K4 f晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． 9 H" U+ `, B5 ~6 F, \: _& F! k拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 7 F4 p6 {% E0 \4 PWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 6 n6 I8 r* v5 ~. G" |3 @7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 2 {( }7 W$ k& Y: |8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? - b/ G; V& @9 n* C$ yHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 6 P" W  {; F' N7 Y3 |0 Y9． ) g; v1 ]* e0 ~  e2 CIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） ( ]1 J5 @, n& ^3 TWatson: Get that out of my face. $ G7 Q8 l  D+ K% \Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. 5 [% i/ T3 l/ @) m: \9 fWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. " G0 N8 x; D% u( M5 d- z路人警官Clarky上场。 4 Y9 ~2 _" G6 H$ U1 _0 A4 k( A6 GClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. % S2 t+ g) q) U) Y4 _8 {# QHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. ; l3 t0 ^0 b" @( j8 B9 u10.   s+ G. V- J9 z% J墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 / c1 O2 f  F3 B1 ], J+ O（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） ! c1 b/ f9 H% OHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. 4 ]4 q  R- L9 q  f- z/ w9 ~Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 6 y) G4 `1 G& {- e11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 1 d$ h- x, k6 s2 DHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） . j3 R, N3 G0 X4 b9 FBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… " ~. i- m# k- P0 T9 ]Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 - [7 B, Y" L; cHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． & u5 E  z. @7 _: f3 s警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13.   g& i8 Z8 A2 J! O2 r接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 * z3 U/ h' t8 r2 MHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） $ e% f; S5 P6 KHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） 6 v% k. I# {4 z: eMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） " B- p: `' T6 n2 J* m" c) bHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） % @2 F( `' i. y/ hWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） , m, ^4 t- [  U* X/ ?Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） 0 m$ N( r& H8 K% i4 A/ l- yWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） ( k  |; u8 y8 Y8 _! l. FMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） 3 k' v  m/ E0 L/ Q! s+ H' d*********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……