《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 : n" t& B1 D# W' o*********** 1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） / f# N: `& A) YHolmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） " M  I0 e% d! w, B  u' eHolmes: You did. 5 U$ f* F. G6 j% Z5 d" z% N（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） $ ^' Y0 J: `: l9 G& V: mHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． 8 L0 Y6 ~& p) Z2 T宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. + v1 e; C' q% ?3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 - ]) }0 q0 B1 CWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） * ^2 W  H9 x  A6 O6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． ; k9 T9 B' r/ i0 r# Y' n) ?9 KIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 7 h- q4 U% v) ^- e7 V6 s9． % \  D# Z$ _$ Y1 B+ G7 e' `Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. 5 O7 [7 S+ b7 W4 W; GWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. . t5 |! F# W7 K, x1 p9 }+ z路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. ! m0 I* z0 N( J9 ?* c8 `1 J4 BHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 6 L# U- Z  S( m/ H& G得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 * S+ ?/ Q! c, `* M+ t0 IWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? * P: j# q" @$ o+ J& jHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 4 M# _7 a1 M- ~墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 9 h! Q$ b/ [/ @' B: {（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） 6 N9 |' v! i  g' bHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. & z4 H3 g) n; x; }Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． ( O/ {. J, E. }) h2 `4 I河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） 0 h8 z0 \5 d+ v! BBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… 1 O( c6 V. k# b9 Z8 s* [Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） ( [* h4 o3 a. A# q4 e死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 # @8 u/ |: Q1 Q0 R7 [Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 6 @5 Z7 T5 R7 q后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 * o8 q3 q& S* _9 TLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 . P: P. ^# x# p; m+ J- y0 NHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） 3 q+ D. O6 u5 X7 wWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） * s! w" @3 V6 T; u, AMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? 7 Z( e( v/ U6 F, ^5 Z) aWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） # H) H$ N& z$ e: ^2 h  L% _/ a, ZHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） + c  L& Z: T) }5 bWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） ; _! N% I) m( p9 z" C% L（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** - [  v+ a  s# |% ?# K; y总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……