《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 - D- r3 ?2 l3 N$ u*********** 1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 ! }. j5 e5 K4 K! \' kWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. ) F7 A3 s3 X& G3 DWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） , |9 f  E5 j; b3 X( rHolmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. . U; G: c9 Y8 J/ k1 ]$ C（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. % E# ?3 q5 ?+ `0 I( v2． & ?# V- y( ^( P1 [. z# u宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. ! E, U0 ]* R9 J  R- L9 i4 v# J: E3. % L. p( C# K/ m! f' W, e晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 8 t( C) |! a6 t" H2 W. l  ^Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 7 J6 Z" q! C5 q4 i' v. k/ X4． # h- Z% g8 t, `$ a拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 # z. [  x$ G0 z5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） . W, E) ~# Q5 m, g- W5 B6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 $ Z" F5 q: f# Y& ^8 `1 q0 D7 D6 K8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） . T# j( G  b' ^! ^' `Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） + ^9 Z& i. L# b; t# R# \8 j+ J( WIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. . q5 J& J: e; P, G9． 4 y, g6 X2 z; [0 T+ ]: ZIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 1 B2 |5 }( I1 K' O路人警官Clarky上场。 % s2 i4 ^! R! `Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 1 [3 A) k* |9 e' h10. + x5 @% }/ b; T( y% W墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 6 Y3 R! Y6 }, F# u（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） 3 O$ b% @- r& m  X# i/ d$ p* Y$ JHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. * k1 B( `" I' t4 q# fWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） : {6 s! t6 f5 q8 R11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 ' ]9 A% M  r1 I: \" L6 o! {Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） & v. i7 v& ~! \# R  K9 ^9 jBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.   L+ [4 X* l% A/ ?9 g$ h/ U: Z13. 8 h5 t' P6 P" ]3 j  b3 C0 O3 N接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 9 a* o& W9 z) i% G" K% X话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） 9 ~) ^, x$ F/ }- ?& A% qHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） 5 v# q8 \% ~9 Y" B% Q+ hWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） : W0 _8 Q4 r: |$ `/ `9 G1 Y# I/ dWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） ) N2 T- k( Q" j/ s+ y（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） . j3 |" v; d, C) s3 L/ j" s*********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……