 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
9 P# y0 R# I: V0 X3 W4 bWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) 9 P) e: l( b* R7 L9 g/ i
Holmes: I just picked it up./ o1 ^6 N6 F% Y* ^
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) 5 |9 g$ W7 Z% S9 v+ F+ h
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.% C3 w y: S/ W1 b! z% r
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
* B, H. \- P" ^$ \1 c* SHolmes: You did.
& ^* O7 B/ f3 i0 p# b I(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) : ?+ r1 I( R( G) j; s! J
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.' p- V$ u# {+ [7 t6 U% f! ]
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
9 q; e6 {! ]& w- B1 lWatson: Permission to enter the armory.: |& P |6 l. X7 `
Holmes: Granted.
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) K* ]$ @6 s: e7 B( s$ L" f, z. o晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
|; n- K' V: ^: uWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) ; L% y0 Y7 T' d4 ]; z0 N
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$ ]/ Q+ d$ b. H7 a% ~拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 * ?. u4 s& N0 C
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' @1 X4 M1 V4 C5 a6 nWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
% g! V4 c% ?: M+ |5 YWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) ( w0 U& D6 L8 G
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3 D$ C# b" r1 k) {- `Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 : [/ c8 i }+ S! }
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" `1 m' i! Y9 [' P7 n$ X+ yBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 7 w( ]9 Q0 }+ P) b
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, G) y# K7 O% k7 o. e. G3 h! I+ GIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 4 d) N9 t' M4 O+ r e3 U+ X
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) ! Z' O8 J! w" q' H
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?' C3 x$ q, W) ?3 J! Y' ]7 G. y
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
/ G, ~+ K5 |* L' S. @) kIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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) \) \' d: \4 E" M/ e$ uIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 & W: g* | A7 ?* }: U. T
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 0 t6 t3 J; x% e, Y
Watson: Get that out of my face.
) {9 y5 C$ E, ]3 h1 ]8 J8 ~Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.0 [6 j2 Y* m# ]% G) ]$ i
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.* b8 f- m2 l6 h' L" I0 p Y
路人警官 Clarky上场。 7 u8 u' B) z1 w
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
% U8 j7 L; p& Q$ x5 W1 dHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) 6 U& O( n+ u+ Y3 U2 ~( A
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 : g, M" ` n" d* j: u5 T. T; j
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?% ?9 P6 | }; T. O6 s& a+ R1 Y
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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9 C! f* R4 G$ Y. s# v) E墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
; ] \5 {5 e) i( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 9 @! |' l% ]9 n
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
3 ~, q% X- ?9 D5 \$ i# I& OWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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& M$ \1 d. G9 O3 _% S7 C& m河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
, Z/ ~" O1 P/ Q* O) B' p7 R8 H4 IHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) ! ?3 `" a: J' c7 l( l
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…5 n# `8 c* v* S* ^5 E- m
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
6 T/ V" q3 c2 u' I) B; ^8 r死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
# Y' k; i, ^, T, L0 `) ~Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
( j7 J- j8 X9 z& _4 J后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 6 j0 e# ]" U/ q. Q
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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0 L, u0 t! g1 Y* C" k# e* k5 \2 K警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
7 N% d( E; R1 U) a' ]9 lLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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* ]' n- X0 ^$ ~8 d0 m% E接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 8 X* q' h4 l9 t8 ~: M0 x
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 9 y+ V" }; i! ^2 ]( l* n4 S( _
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) F/ v# v" m' [) {$ z! Y- b
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 1 s" n2 E! s, I1 ~& H2 L
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) / S T+ \; q% ~9 F! i" f
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?6 @" Z% z r; L% p! Y( p c
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) . Y! }! ]* h* L; w* E/ @
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
- N5 H5 N: g( B0 a7 g" Z( u1 NWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) ' y+ h$ ^2 h3 Q) q$ m
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
8 K! v" f2 F0 K4 YWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
! y9 G5 m7 [1 [3 G2 t qMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
9 D& |/ j j5 W! l% u, y2 j( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) ! ~7 B6 ^7 @, q
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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