《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 % I0 K- l" j+ R( D# S*********** 1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） ) l- @+ c, r5 e" U: }  c4 s+ UHolmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） : ?& }  Y* W: m7 d: fHolmes: Knew I forgot something. / H  L, ~/ z: z0 C7 QWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） ; z( q9 s2 @0 P+ B  Y& ~  h; e9 nHolmes: You did. " D4 ~3 T0 |) g& y- @( G（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） / R. y2 ?) b/ u! G  ^! [& Z0 ~Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． 6 o- w0 r- i+ n宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. ) x2 W6 {+ ]: t; p9 MHolmes: Granted. # |: Q5 D4 r: f& X  A% v3. 5 l% a6 a" Q' z) O; A. f晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） / ?; G0 q+ t* b! i3 c; f6． 3 T0 a% F; T+ U* ^Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 ! \' ?2 q. {/ X! R7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 - r; c6 c' n9 O5 Q（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）   _- o$ q8 r/ o- S, yIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. : |: N  e5 Q- \9． , `2 C8 Q* I; \  |Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. $ G/ c2 V6 o4 UHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 ) ?7 z& V2 a6 S" oClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） ' g1 p( k! j6 f2 ]: _. X+ M得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? " ?5 k+ H/ l0 z+ y0 N- R* WHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. ! o! b/ d0 \) Y4 S9 Z10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。   E& q; ^& s- c# p! b1 E（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. + n5 l. _# |/ R$ mWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． . O+ t6 b3 E; U$ Q% r0 f河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 5 o, Q! ], f% Y+ j2 H5 c死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 2 Z" k1 p+ y; n- J: i1 k后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 2 y$ m1 \) L! C% v; _Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. + k+ k/ m& M1 {, r+ C9 k. U; u4 \接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 ! x' w' g9 d- g+ U. `3 d4 l话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 : }5 u! ]+ x; o3 `Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） * D7 M# h2 x7 e: Z# U$ KHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） ! z6 d+ M8 N" |Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） + E+ _) N, ~1 O) _2 ~7 c（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** , C. }+ Q* X% ?7 _2 _: `3 h8 w总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……