 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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! S1 y7 m* t* y5 O w9 x: _% o9 o; l影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
# k% @' p* F: x/ C+ ^8 nWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) 1 k( z7 @5 v' x( C8 ^+ L
Holmes: I just picked it up.
' |# C1 m1 J; }# N5 PWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
3 i! j$ D% s) q! c) h* sHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
. x" H9 m" n8 _- q' L; EWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) . t% K% }3 n9 a6 w( }' S
Holmes: You did.4 k9 H. m. r/ |8 x+ c, }% d
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
, I. W& S' b+ pHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.- {3 @' g% Z: F6 @
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
( c& r r. D# w; O* k& JWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
' B* G. _$ M: |. k; m1 cHolmes: Granted.9 T+ L: K1 Z0 G- q
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: i' n3 R# c. A9 \. n晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 , g9 ]+ P0 F6 g! [! x7 ~
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 / L* S1 C1 X5 B' @/ ^( n0 v
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
1 C" a l, m0 R% xWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 . H0 S S% j8 @, x
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- ]- s' m0 N8 s# q# o. T- P, I2 yIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
& k2 ~7 V8 |. U. ~( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 7 D( g, S: ?2 L, A( C& O/ J
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?8 @7 D! F0 n; n$ u/ z) ]3 C
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
- L# r! W9 b9 ]4 P+ p; J# a4 LIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.. I2 X& @/ u; \* a+ C3 n5 ^6 @
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 3 b: N+ r9 I5 W/ S) F' N
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 6 r' z* {* V9 J2 J- q, W( _( E: t, B
Watson: Get that out of my face.9 V I, e2 ~' M5 N
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand., }% b, ?! h' A) f1 f
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
. ]- s. z3 I5 N, _* i+ y1 n路人警官 Clarky上场。 8 ]6 l% G, x# ~4 M. l
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
9 ]9 j2 b( W" P5 N7 @9 S, v9 [/ \" bHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) & ]+ l+ [7 `6 w% l8 w
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 0 `, a& D% g: K' Q) T' [
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?* v% z6 Q* }# Y- I& [) U$ S
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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8 R7 q8 i6 `& h3 Y1 [墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
$ u" g1 ~. S U$ A( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
- p* x7 `1 Y2 l7 Y: xHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
5 k& Z- X4 I5 @2 M4 [Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) 1 T/ Q C+ i) L3 R6 n* u
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
! Y2 a2 i3 Q( k+ d. z' S3 bHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
* V1 @: T* ]2 [2 w2 U. d3 @Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
0 u3 _+ q5 D2 I4 tWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
) }- t8 T8 ^3 ?* c死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 * P# v; L7 v& Y! k- q& B$ k% E
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) 6 c; Q$ ^8 E" u8 }1 Z
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
6 E! D% E# {" W- VHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 8 ]3 b9 F8 b) T* J F
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 " E9 G8 _$ p9 s
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.+ E! p, p: V1 p) C- q v! L
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 ) x- r: J+ l8 H" K
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 # T d1 T& e4 b
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) ; K2 b; F3 [& e6 V
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
u% ~* T8 H. }: bHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
" ]7 Z4 `& y7 Y( t! aMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
# W8 r0 ~0 G; X& Y& c+ LWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
1 {( Z( k5 g) G/ |3 cHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) % @: r4 ?. I: u! [* h- z
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
7 z" ^$ a* {+ h" i( j$ F) I! WHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
5 g) B* v t2 J9 K: ~# G5 P( c9 KWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
: M; c( t0 |# d# B) L" Y2 b+ Y5 TMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) 4 Y2 M& f* h5 a( O# J0 L- Q
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) 9 H1 \# I# G* ~7 x7 w! D
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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