《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** 7 x1 {. M" q  l; j3 Y5 @1． , m" b" _) X2 n* d* o1 ^% v影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）   {/ U( U( H1 f/ c& ?3 QHolmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. ! i) P5 t4 i5 r& w& r7 Z4 A（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） + r  M# j- C* \2 J5 ]* SHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． / u' e6 }" s5 Q3 X5 F4 c$ N宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. 3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 9 O; o" t+ A; L$ f0 H4． 5 c( d% @' S5 v# W* d拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 0 s- S9 A2 E3 R- c3 r5． $ H# e) Y0 P" {" fWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 0 @' i. c8 M* i3 C+ X1 E/ hWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 1 v9 `+ v" C6 L& c7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 ; g' T8 G7 |( _: `8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 ; Z2 P8 f. g5 S* h（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） * }4 e- w3 o8 A  _; \Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 : m3 q; V3 G$ l! V8 ^8 D, WHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. # D+ ~! q1 y& d( n  y" XHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 6 b) _) f. \6 ?; o1 ?$ ^路人警官Clarky上场。 8 D4 s: p% @4 L4 j- n: L4 JClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. & k/ ?6 e* {5 q& aHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） ; y# v1 e: ^& ^1 S6 n: |得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 ; o% m1 z% z+ g% c/ l0 R9 |Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? ( k$ l2 h0 j' D$ |9 hHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. # c! Q  X# }, \& C9 |0 V7 c; b10. 3 f9 D  x6 e/ e墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． & l+ I8 L- S5 x, s; _* y& H- t河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 ) K' e7 L$ A+ i+ @Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 . `# ]# C5 A5 ?% K* @5 L, [8 l* aHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） ' B+ J  N( g1 J, R. ~. r2 X后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 4 ]$ y0 x3 D$ y: q( D# X0 h1 G12． 9 @& [! ]; H1 f) M/ Z警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 & G2 [% |& {+ ^7 T! J  J* iLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 . H- A3 X# c: n- i  D8 THolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） 4 k, ~; B2 }: VHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） ; R. u( s8 W9 z5 z# BMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? 5 P8 Y. D/ _2 P7 ^9 W% S* |Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） ' m1 ~  X; a1 o( q- E$ HHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） - i7 |; ]( ?8 M3 |! MMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……