 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 $ k2 \6 P% V3 N9 H' F: `
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, H) \. O9 W) f, l/ i影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 , s: ]: B& @7 ]
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) / r. } K+ [4 M# S) p
Holmes: I just picked it up.
. f& v! a( Z# @$ EWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
8 [6 ]' H; b$ q# h' |& ~' k5 M% IHolmes: Knew I forgot something./ n1 x) K# T! M& ?0 v ~, D0 n
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) 5 b) f" U6 Y3 i: p; u0 {- L/ v3 [% K
Holmes: You did.
h1 G2 v6 V) B6 y# n(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
7 o( l0 e4 f$ M) g- X* q* B; ZHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.6 ]( Q$ a+ x; N$ s( R3 v' i
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/ Y0 x2 N; {) s* b" e, V% S( ]宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 f# ?. j. l8 x; }% M
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.9 [4 Z, {" L4 ~# W
Holmes: Granted.
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L# B/ a) d9 Y5 L晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 ! \5 W6 i' n3 J2 i
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) ' s* F. U5 H# H5 `4 H/ U
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% p/ y N* u& S9 O拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
' K. n0 b. ~: H; XWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) + l0 V( H. s: d, l8 c5 ?8 l6 V
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3 K/ ~6 X) y8 ?! x$ S" }Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 7 _1 v* o, M) h; w( s/ r/ M
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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- `( \& ]$ ]6 f! q" B" O* N2 bIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 1 [, G( j+ I, n4 s; P
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) - b! t( G0 o, B+ e6 I; _
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
; P$ T3 |2 a: J3 H2 h6 m# LHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
% H, v, X; v) w Y0 C$ Z# M+ p6 Q' [Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.+ w) ?2 Z# Z6 J; x' N
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 6 W' |- ]/ }# t! O% [ d
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
; ?# X+ s- G; a$ u1 X, fWatson: Get that out of my face.) U6 l% B2 G& @5 k
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
6 o3 i! n8 C2 ]& vWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
( k$ h# ?% H8 t: {路人警官 Clarky上场。 5 ~5 B$ U# R. M6 a
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
- y `5 b1 H! Y- j5 ZHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
9 P( ?% \- g7 k1 M- c) Z. K得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
& z) i4 d+ ~( K' q. C8 ^Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?, Y( y* S/ L( V1 u7 K
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.1 U! x' P6 h2 ]
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 # J/ n6 A3 |/ x. I
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) - Z+ q$ b9 g! ]7 R1 ^7 p
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.$ n, v4 d/ K( i
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) - W) s4 v$ T- q4 M* q# C
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 . v* e b, J: E, C2 p7 X
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
3 \+ B" e* E7 x9 XBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…' d* M2 o' K: l; c/ Q+ T4 T$ b% b
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) $ Z2 r( P% @5 G% M
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 ! C/ l8 |% s% s( H( a
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) - k' s4 ^% G! I# _% V
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 * Y8 T: o6 l1 z1 T3 {
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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4 y; r6 x( j/ g5 \0 r! O- {7 _8 N3 e警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 . V6 Z u5 ^2 Y$ q0 x2 C0 t5 x
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 ( h% _0 B6 _( d& Y5 b$ U, _7 V
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 7 S2 L2 V/ o8 Q- t- W7 u
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) * v& {3 E( [+ r8 C
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 2 X+ }; g- @' y5 |
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
; G0 R$ i, R( aMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?/ A0 @, x4 E% E. K/ ?& O
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) 9 Q0 O* @& }( \& D6 W
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
5 [, b5 `3 Y- ZWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 6 z; C+ q) ^& h6 p& E
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
+ K) s9 D* l) ~5 ^, XWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
# f+ |' l4 |; r" A7 J9 j3 p- a wMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
0 s; ?) \8 R# \1 x( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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/ j) a. T* W# f! u$ a- _: s2 k总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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