《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** 1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. $ Z, R1 q' x  G# M) {Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） - V8 {( {7 w/ M) Z+ ZHolmes: Knew I forgot something. ( w7 b: b/ Q" s8 VWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. / C9 p4 b2 l6 C" J3 o0 ^（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） & r- b! c6 H# c& G( P/ fHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. / i% c  ]7 W: [& K& O  u! G2． 1 P/ h& O" \8 D2 f! r* s2 @& ^宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 . R( [1 k# @/ C+ x- u. M$ DWatson: Permission to enter the armory. " O$ V+ D7 m; k  [/ U, _4 a( eHolmes: Granted. 3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） ) w8 @1 m/ N; o' f0 D4． ) ^- r- I; F6 R拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 ; N, K, b6 h2 ^* ~! V4 c, `5． 4 o: O3 u5 M5 @9 |- jWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 3 f9 n% h3 _$ M0 m3 F6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 $ a  I9 E: G# ?) l, D8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） 7 [$ c0 f8 C6 G) BIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） * Q5 M+ H& [: TIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． ) K  [) }5 z* \9 c. H8 z( LIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 6 X+ k5 W2 M- z5 h" X/ d& bHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. ( [6 h1 Q0 I5 G) H( D" N3 K' DHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. & X3 B# H2 N2 H- O/ V路人警官Clarky上场。 ; p- g$ _0 K9 q8 F9 Y7 `5 S& vClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. - s, q% {5 X; C) J( ^( x0 g! SHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 6 Z; Q1 N- P" i得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 + E3 P7 X; }# I, ^4 ?4 G( G! S$ QWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. 1 c8 }& f/ K* q. A0 `- LWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． 8 H0 ?/ |" ?# K% i6 y河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） 0 H( b% g. R/ y1 h- TBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． 8 Z$ j+ g2 @( k警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. - J: D, _. b2 q13. ' {% a. o- X. J4 |& j接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 ( H- ]! V, b! m+ V- r8 H话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） . K7 w; n- N4 Y* P( e( ZHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） , `+ Z; X9 x7 |$ g) F' X  MMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） ) O' ?) L, N; q0 sHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） 4 Y% [4 h" s+ C  sWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） ( D& u7 @$ I2 v& w: @Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……