《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 " J3 w) Z# s: C  F) e0 l- h*********** . p+ v1 W8 f; Q6 \7 O$ d. A1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 9 ?. m3 Y- @# ?3 IWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） + f. F0 }9 V5 |7 N. E+ H9 h$ wHolmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． * @1 I, Z4 P: g3 q) X宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 9 E5 l8 K$ W; F) M5 bWatson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. ) d( n2 ?/ \0 ?: N, \- B- b/ f% ^3.   j& }# {2 i5 j0 v; O3 R晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 0 g9 `9 M! Y6 k3 p/ N0 GWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． " H0 b, x: N& B) k7 Y拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． 8 F4 G8 T) x$ Z. e9 Y8 oWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 ' x% Q5 M/ o8 }5 dWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） ( F9 N2 r3 D' f# e- Q8 H6． / G: x7 A9 I1 U/ I# e$ DHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 , l, R( n( @1 p7 c3 O9 ~8 ~7． - E! g+ i7 m& B0 xBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 " c$ W1 X! r+ o; b, w' i+ D8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 * A, e6 I" i; s# {  [2 {Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. ( d) O8 x$ T, D5 Y  DHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. ; x7 N, m' |" N" W- ~/ ?路人警官Clarky上场。 7 s. T8 R; \5 x; N3 y6 D4 ?Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 , A' n5 a* ?/ u% w3 aWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. & `- i' M7 M6 k9 u" ~10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） 4 c: p% w0 W6 ]- M7 b1 o  xBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… / l. j5 o) i- k: A' y; p. W3 _2 ?Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） ! M+ P4 q  C$ b+ r1 `/ r死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） + b; W8 q6 C: t, A+ V' B; [8 ~# D后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 7 M! M2 l1 O. |# X) e! K# D0 W13. 5 R: z, b" v$ g6 M接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 2 X$ j( N: b" a; {0 |  K% S话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） : n. Y/ B# g$ D& o. I$ y% ]Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） + V& D2 F5 W2 @: x# a$ N& `/ SHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） 8 I$ o5 D# G8 O' GWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） * @7 U2 M: ]  B. P8 T$ I+ z& wMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） 6 H0 b( x8 A- l# x1 |& N（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） $ z; c" c$ A1 w" S4 c/ m( F  r*********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……