《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 : f9 [3 f$ c4 i3 H. B0 T$ r" t6 F*********** 1． / o, a9 C) S) E8 g! c& }6 ^0 c影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 + H, i% O& g# NWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. ' C$ l0 l. x0 n% g7 F" p( B0 KWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） ( e! _2 R, V7 @3 ?Holmes: Knew I forgot something. / [- G7 b! ]" Z4 Q& X# ^Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. / `9 |9 b, n6 v& |（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． ' R* F) Y4 ?) B( s6 ?1 f" M0 l宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. 5 i2 R5 v4 E( [7 ^% \5 J2 ~- @1 \$ [+ ZHolmes: Granted. / Z2 C" Q9 B  T- `3. $ A6 G9 b" G0 l% n& y0 o: u$ W晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） " N2 M. {5 U5 w$ ]' u& i2 }+ t* I4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． / v: G+ T9 d2 I. E& k/ LWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 2 E+ e2 ?- |: I  v' Y7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． 5 v& L- `  x9 r! F, B$ V; y7 b) c* AIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? + M; H! U0 B! P! u0 W6 {! m. hHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 7 m' h0 W% B7 K" ^3 }( i' u9 ]/ ^5 i9 S9． # C: _  E# A; f9 H- o5 _Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 $ S, n# }. e+ ?& W  LHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） 2 d  C5 u5 v6 p( a! E/ kWatson: Get that out of my face. ' c: ]( z9 _' ^2 J7 t4 r- `6 ^Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 - B. U/ K" ^4 M- [6 W: P1 RClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 1 W/ |2 W* V1 I, j3 _得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 . C7 f4 y. F% e. A$ `, ~3 z/ ]Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? : s0 S/ d% i! l9 E; vHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） 9 y: J6 s: Y* PHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. ( }" U+ M# ~; H8 y0 J" C$ mWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） $ k9 R" j- h6 Y( C; t( ?8 l8 R" P11． - m5 r+ j; S/ ]9 j" i7 C! |1 K河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 , Q0 k& ^1 K- H7 J3 p! ]: mHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） : N4 b1 h4 F4 j( [1 W3 j后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 / O2 h5 q* R, ~& [- a: I: z# }& ]+ sHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 3 v' p; a# Q5 `7 x9 r" ~12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 4 E  ~  f( c' v3 ILestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. # ~) o1 o+ n$ ]; V1 q接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 8 J( e  Z7 z2 O$ K! fHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） , N9 K! N6 s2 F' s0 XWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? 1 a8 U) L$ q# s  `4 s7 gWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） 6 ^4 w/ ]/ M- l  |- h! e+ C$ @Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） % V# e3 k1 S4 X$ K1 yWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） 3 \) g" G  O% ?- S" M4 l/ M' NMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） 9 H, l7 Z- D, }" v; a% r（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） . `+ E# P' Q, @& K! A& [$ r2 ~5 h*********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……