《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** 8 N' A* r; w5 A5 q1． & p4 U5 }$ d' G影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 * [# j" }/ N8 T0 ]& P* b7 _2 gWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） / [% V; S! }( L  Q1 p4 AHolmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） ) y& J9 m( M, _9 i6 s* BHolmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. # `5 G" m. w, l! ]) Y# o; IHolmes: Granted. 3. * h% A5 c- {( f. Y晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） - b0 E4 N, }" `) q4 Y' ~4． : z5 O5 T7 c& P1 U2 r拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． - u) m  F2 I9 ]) S6 ?0 G1 uWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 & b. Q2 L4 `! j$ Q4 k/ }Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． * g4 b, \1 B; T: |" vHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 : o: }/ F# j% z( T, W; g6 G; E（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） 9 G" K& T& O' w- cIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． , S( Q+ Q9 }9 x! XIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 : v# \8 x& t6 S: j1 |6 [' l. z2 MHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 " Q9 r, N& f/ `, g1 a4 VClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. 1 I' I# \: ]- U+ _% ~Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） # q4 m1 J" O/ Q! m6 X, \1 s( I得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 + c* X5 _# m) ]3 A7 Y6 q/ z% {7 G  UWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. * q: B1 L# R: N- W; O5 S3 e9 Q3 h10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. 5 d) t, J% R' t! V2 C$ D, G" c7 ]Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 5 o  q" z# V% v11． / ^; a7 s! t$ T河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 # Z0 ^5 G/ H- [$ DHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） # B+ n- m/ \( W* M' rBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 ! s) c* i$ o- t1 PHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） / T4 W$ m. d) |% {0 \* B后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） , d0 b% q" o9 p3 C12． ' E$ m) _5 q/ \+ T/ M3 a6 G警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. * z* R: Q8 D/ C/ A6 a9 X  A$ T13. ; C5 i) {+ [: B" i9 G接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 " o2 h! N5 V6 @1 f& R6 {1 e话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?   j% I' G1 _. J7 YWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） , |" D0 m# ?8 [, MHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）   o5 x! Y4 c0 zHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） % A; F5 P- T" [9 ]& Z* gWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） ) T" z' u* m7 M; R) A! e*********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……