《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** 0 C4 G# J5 B% P: d1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. 3 e9 u' l4 p9 o1 h+ sWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. + b( W# ?6 R8 `Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） * O( U% k$ G7 Z( |. h2 f2 z& U. Y. u: sHolmes: You did. 9 m2 u/ Y" d% \4 m（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） / ^0 y& W1 r% hHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. ) K: ^: P6 N) h" E& Q2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. 5 K, v. W/ G% b9 {Holmes: Granted. 3. : `6 v' u( Z  v9 K晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 $ i: _2 s3 o, v- x5 V4 }: E5 SWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 8 t; `; I+ b* t  X% W4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 - K1 H  p* `$ a5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 3 Y4 `6 z8 @, |Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． 3 W4 M% {( |3 r( Y) ?0 o9 DHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 / S: f1 U' \- Z. t& y7． 2 X9 r  G! P4 XBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 ( ^$ p' p$ X" }7 E  Y0 o（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） 9 K+ j; Q- P) a' P2 Z! ?# g8 `' h: j) PIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? 4 @! x5 _( _6 ?4 X8 UHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． * r7 {: T4 Q' K$ G7 w7 X# @! `Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 ; T% L% ^" Z! U" H& i1 O1 eHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） % q: F5 U- d# BWatson: Get that out of my face. ; L/ x/ U% @+ J: h8 BHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 - J) u5 s: o, z* bClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.   b! X7 U& z$ n2 v0 R; `Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 . D; ?4 {! ~  |3 t4 lWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? " j2 w! R( W& t: CHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. - s2 b6 ~" L( o3 {" c/ |# M1 u10. - |9 o, l; u' e5 y% g5 E墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 + c9 }* p& Y% k# ^* z7 r（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） $ l3 i& z5 k4 W  XHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.   b- z( [& G- u1 b! l) Y7 k; gWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． ' Y0 Q) V8 k+ {! x0 b0 n0 i; m" ]7 {$ y河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 " m& c" i" G5 r3 y3 o, d4 HHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 4 U+ ]9 `/ G7 L. a5 D+ c% A( j' G死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 ) I- R+ k# i0 n3 [" J+ AHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． 6 B! c- x$ J3 A6 Y- ]+ @1 u& w; n警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. : Q; _# i  H  T5 j, J' o) R& H% |' C13. % f: ^! E# o. q8 o1 V接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 4 b) ~+ O( j: I' V8 p: M话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）   y4 E0 k% E) _9 a% T$ sWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） $ P' I. X4 E) V1 c8 {8 LHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） + z8 S- B0 Z* d* YWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） * n# B# w/ H6 C$ IMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） . N; k* a  Y; J; B9 `* {（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） 3 \4 a8 M6 E; q7 F" l3 \4 [*********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……