《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 % Q0 x. n3 k+ B# T9 H*********** 1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. & [% x+ ?& `; {2 y+ I（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. ) t/ k' [+ r" u8 e  D  p% aHolmes: Granted. 3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 : q& n" i5 q* p3 @7 ^& VWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 7 t# ?: Y4 s5 t! O3 e( |4． ) ^0 L- I- y* ~- {拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 * k3 x% ]; l; m+ x1 x1 o  MWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 6 w  b+ d& W) T: }& \- }- x: g7． * e7 z, U$ u$ M" l, ^6 G* H5 qBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 1 c" l6 u  y. D! p7 x（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） 8 D7 i% v6 c7 ^: S# j1 `( ^/ E9 pIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. / M5 N  e+ n0 z/ ?( l$ c9 C9．   ^" Y& z+ z0 p( j4 Q" zIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） # E3 o- S" @. J/ g# x; V% m1 TWatson: Get that out of my face. 2 f4 m7 O+ M# a/ K  VHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. ) B8 i( B7 |/ f: ?$ A路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. 3 k6 `6 B; t: zHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 4 E+ U0 y1 n- X+ C得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 0 L6 s* h7 u: b4 V4 SWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? / R- ?, f; w7 u# cHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. ! o/ M5 d% I- @- x6 g3 ?$ M& x9 B墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 . \( G. K% D9 i" d) u（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） 9 J' E4 p9 e# nHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． * \" W, g+ R9 W' d% N" \, n% E) K0 C河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 8 d+ ?( @) m# ^  \死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 4 a- u& ]) L4 i8 X6 r% mHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） # A) e3 T+ j9 V12． . ^+ D8 _. S; T0 a' |( k  _9 ?警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。   g$ u; t/ {# DLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 9 m& g4 ~( U2 a+ l4 ?Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） ) V  j3 l8 e7 ^  |6 G! W! f$ eWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） * E6 ?5 O0 P" A1 t; OHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? # P- Q# f- ^; [* G/ T+ u4 TWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） 0 `9 o$ M: d1 c6 a: g" ], w0 zHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） " K5 |/ k& n$ z, q8 ^7 sMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） , }: s. P* e! g" K9 X（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） ; d) ]0 `% d- g*********** # _$ J7 e5 V4 r' v: u' g总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……