 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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- C8 B6 v. X6 f& {影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 + C( ^( r5 ?2 V3 w9 F9 E
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
2 Z% n& K0 V+ Q* {9 p; ZHolmes: I just picked it up.8 p9 C, \6 Q$ S; \, @4 X$ y P
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) 8 y# ?% q$ o7 h) q: p
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
o/ D. p/ N @; Y; L$ b- q# BWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) " L5 O9 ~3 I! {# j# W# ~
Holmes: You did.) h, G( h, [/ t
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
. J: @. q0 a1 x/ ^/ S- k& Y n- a5 yHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
) d7 z( W+ R- C( o: A$ \* }5 s5 c1 `Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
0 S, V9 u8 n. xHolmes: Granted.
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* v3 ]# W8 Z$ A5 \) {晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
3 s$ I1 Y% `. hWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 1 d9 h w9 m; W
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
' ?9 x, ]/ t6 d8 a3 s& FWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) & K5 ~6 v( o5 w; Y5 r/ m
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 + Z" R v3 K7 a# U% D
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 3 q5 x" k1 r3 {& j6 Y
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
# _8 z$ z* `+ U# Q8 JIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?7 L5 e0 M& X4 Z/ d4 w
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) + |: G% N% u/ W# t; Y
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.- f' }( X% o& f6 R! N3 ~0 s, @; a" s
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6 o W& c0 j& ~3 J9 b: Y. ?" S! rIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
. k& `' }- o/ V( Y% uHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) # w& b- s8 K/ m' O
Watson: Get that out of my face.
. q( ^* m, n$ q& s/ _. SHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
- D2 y/ o* V) k6 e- {) ?Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.' ]% C6 L7 u% ^% x+ ?" b
路人警官 Clarky上场。 6 P9 W: x( s J( r
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.8 g+ i1 S4 ]5 u1 R% Q* S' i
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) & j( n) s6 ], r4 H5 K% I3 L7 ~& @! g
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 0 l i- f) H2 ~$ F
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?& w# h$ |1 x+ J4 [; d! h
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. C5 W& f9 C1 H" D9 z* ?( Q6 `9 u
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7 t) h6 S6 T) F- Y0 Y9 a墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 2 ~# O3 `% a% `% |; b% s. y$ i7 c
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 6 ?8 \. }5 j7 h/ X
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
6 o6 v9 K* \5 PWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) ) |+ v2 V- S* a9 E' O0 \
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5 g" }; ~; z" f; w5 h5 v- x5 v河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 3 M9 q7 Z( W+ g' L# d
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
7 i% R7 D4 O: s, mBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
4 {/ R( W' C4 ?# Z) H _Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 3 \" s$ i9 b$ Z
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
- Y% d, e; l5 DHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) & Y, {! ?" c7 G) O A4 d& n. u
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 0 m2 a, j% g- h) Q9 y3 {8 W
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 & d$ A! g/ M% G* n. X
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.% }) E2 p) C+ [
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. \# ?& t) R$ y; D1 }) V5 h+ n接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
: _3 p5 B- c m7 A O- `7 ~话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
7 o3 ]3 [( P, L& T8 A3 U6 z3 ]Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
* F- N& V1 U5 T# W+ DWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
7 w- n# O7 [5 l# ~: r+ fHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
! @: O. y0 c) gMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
6 u8 u& o4 m1 b" zWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) / b6 l/ c4 {0 ^% E( z
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) # C$ e; y _( @8 E/ \1 C4 B
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
/ t3 I- s# H! Y' `% CHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
; o. k7 W2 _2 R# @3 WWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) , c# L& e/ N7 w2 A1 ]! E: F
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
$ ?5 l: M* s0 K* ]/ U( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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* G# E9 \+ J8 J, \* o- z总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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