《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 - S8 f& a2 Z# \1 c8 M) N*********** 1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 . j! c2 z; D' ~" p& ?4 zWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. 7 n& |" l7 @- Y7 k( ^$ PWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. / c9 @6 @% J- W( OWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. & c) u* A2 F8 J: F3 z7 H2 i3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） # q5 p# H+ X7 Q9 X! y4 j! S9 F/ x* ~4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） , `$ E- n. |9 n8 O& m6． ' Q2 M' p# k2 _- m8 s6 mHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． . X! A( Y5 O; J2 O2 |Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? ! B5 L, t2 H$ f! ~Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） 5 y. G4 E% L! n% Q- jIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 6 a4 E. S% Q7 T8 L- U0 l9． 3 N/ w6 M* l: R# UIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 / E$ u6 [; T5 g$ `! r3 l' MHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） " e7 E6 `4 k) D% j2 X) X8 uWatson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. 3 [7 R0 w5 j8 X" O+ cWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 2 _% y) v# M$ Z" k路人警官Clarky上场。 . V$ X: B3 h! F$ oClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. # `; ?( S: C# N0 SHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） $ v5 D6 z6 i0 n  G: i得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 3 a9 r! ~% h# T) ?10. 9 ]5 ~3 J1 @, A& ?1 k墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 ' @" P2 X8 I+ z! ?（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） 6 S- E( z. _4 o- ZHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． 9 ?  P3 m- ?& G1 Q& c0 m! R河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 5 |0 @) ]/ T, E  H" C  DHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… ( H/ G4 ~' i( X: x2 A7 H- EWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 8 w% _8 ^2 [/ T: W) d7 }0 g后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 5 w0 \  ]$ I1 q3 R' p12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. $ G, h( ~* {- Z* K) y  b13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 , \5 `3 G7 @$ B  j9 {4 c8 k( O话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 ' ~7 P7 u- l2 ^% C5 EHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） 0 c) |  x) U8 s* }  F& kHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） 4 V! v+ h* V. w0 SHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） ; ~7 B; g5 a$ f* h" h$ }2 |) f+ i*********** 3 G. \" c. m( _% i' Q( D) l总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……