《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** : v$ f: c: m) s. H" X- n1． : h7 {+ Q: J0 R1 k影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 & ]+ H8 _! U, F& {' {# fWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. % i& ?- P/ O- _/ CWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. . w. Z5 T+ O0 s% y9 [（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） 6 |. q. @; \2 n! D% X5 k5 `0 M& HHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 ' C" t& r$ ?3 _  IWatson: Permission to enter the armory. 1 `, b5 ]& G8 l( hHolmes: Granted. 3. 1 B8 Q- p6 g" N# x. g# d晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 , ^/ y: A3 H- `4 V  nWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 * u9 Q9 K0 b5 p5． - f7 y& p7 n! G% Q9 ~8 E) r+ o* IWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 / d  G/ r* n* p: y' w  C2 j, s' uWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 0 v4 a% q7 s1 f, W) S6． - Y; |$ Q5 p, o& R3 M: [4 k" p5 qHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． $ r3 D- g. S7 v; @# ]6 }Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 6 p  f2 w  A+ }4 B' P8 Y8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 % C" w4 `2 _/ a2 c  q0 \（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） 6 K0 \- }. Z- `" ]Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 3 {3 V% w4 w6 B4 c- W( m1 g- `* h6 W9． 7 \, n! m$ b* A$ mIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 ( U7 k  d) s7 [# ZHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） $ w# N* |7 M6 h7 `' _+ t! z; `Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. 6 H) n+ ^6 {  {: U: J6 W% A0 O5 _5 M. QWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. ( G1 V. Y- J5 e2 i路人警官Clarky上场。 - R8 S" a* K; H6 S. h: }Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. - y% n, D" j9 M8 y7 j, vHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） ( Q+ C8 l# S+ \- M+ z得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 + V, ]% w: q3 w! w& JWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? # A$ S# e  ?. ZHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. ; J6 k) B8 d: Y$ a10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） # A; e  i2 w" R9 N11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 6 D+ d. F! G* }, l- M' g, \+ r0 _  iHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 8 P& R1 c8 K! f7 |6 L/ _' {后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） , g! O; g; f  j) p) R2 h12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 " F1 e" x. a3 C& ]; PLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 3 z7 ?7 k- J; a( l: U1 t13. " ~: r( P* ?0 P* A/ c0 M接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 , ^! f5 D- L6 c8 v3 d, J+ U$ t话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 / D+ n# n) i8 _Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? : ?5 d7 ?- L' E, [/ e5 FWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） / V: e8 R. t( v# J& cWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） 3 j  H2 c9 `8 l! l1 j: q# U0 vWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） 6 X* x9 O  P' h( X0 T! Z0 dMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） . Q* c0 b- T3 X/ n/ c（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） + }4 X6 b" W: @! ?*********** 9 E$ m- f  A5 x) [4 p. w! I总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……