《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 ) ?: N2 h7 K1 z+ e2 k6 o0 ^*********** 1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. 6 I+ R9 I! S% o' |Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） : r" }6 C/ z# \) k' o6 `; eHolmes: Knew I forgot something. * Z" \! W; n; P, W8 ?Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） 0 r  x1 S+ N+ _! S7 T) |Holmes: You did. + I, c/ L1 C* y- h（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. : M. S( m. z7 P4 t* Y, h. \2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 6 B2 D$ ~- h$ m6 b- ^0 W# UWatson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. 3. , E9 u! r5 g! B  B8 O2 M晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 8 c) l/ c& \' W* z6 k7 oWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． ) ^' k+ }  ]9 R* L. ^# Y( z拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 # f8 _/ |' \* H  b" r0 g% ?5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 2 P+ @  L) l1 l+ k6 M5 PWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 . {; Z% k8 n2 y6 y/ J8．   P% l, Y3 w6 x1 d3 w$ \, t% ~Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 7 |2 X' P; v( T( @（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）   E. z( G/ ?; \: VIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? / u" j1 o: s; v/ @Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. : X3 m" x9 f4 [9 G- J9． / |; g- I( w5 Y- AIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. - \9 \3 x4 E  E& |Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） ( D0 H+ t& T3 {) Y9 u得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? % q# o# p3 W% K7 [$ J1 n8 R: EHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. , v0 M- R" ?% L10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 6 s) X. n  \# ]' T) c4 R（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. 0 n# a% m" O: J5 m; wWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） / U! q/ b9 `* p9 T5 n, |11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 7 G  `$ n. n. y8 tHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） 7 W+ i3 m/ q; r1 M1 [Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… ( E# C! z, `3 X8 ~, W: k6 j8 z- |Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） : L! @5 C) |# G! M6 d死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 3 Q. N! |! T) {( THolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） / K% Q+ D5 v" N- c3 F1 d9 T& \12． . Q2 q5 U8 M, F$ Z  N( r* ^' J警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 # [8 ^! Z6 I; s0 h8 TLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. & ^3 h( E& H8 c3 K% O13. 1 O5 F" c5 H# M0 e( S接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 6 n" q: ]9 @) V$ o  c- I话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 : [. G6 u4 K1 y1 O/ G" SHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） 3 ^* t- ~3 h2 W4 I) W7 {Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） 3 B% M( z: }# I& x  U9 pMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） 7 I, U4 S# B+ x5 o2 w4 T, u! uHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） 7 p) u5 }6 D6 }# ^Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** 2 l! H7 R3 Q  v6 u总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……