 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
2 N6 e0 } v ~Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) ! H, z/ [: E) W* ~
Holmes: I just picked it up.( O0 x& B3 q" Z: Z: ]+ P
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) 2 y+ B& y4 v7 i+ }% b2 \+ ?7 |
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
/ N3 |* t& D- _% ^0 I% ~8 AWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) " s2 N: M" C, C, F8 P0 w( ]' n% E
Holmes: You did.* D1 q( o. l0 L% |' C; `6 h) T
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) Y% b9 v: g; k4 w7 E5 p# T& h6 \
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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; e0 g4 z3 ^' c* b宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
' t, m: b+ X$ Y S8 mWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
' w, s# e% `2 d% g4 T# ^Holmes: Granted.( Z+ x" a: P4 J6 ~) B. P
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
4 g+ T: ^- C* W) z5 m3 u% o4 n' P' IWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) $ B1 n8 `( {7 ?& B
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8 ?9 u4 N/ z: H拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 9 ], G: h& \& u9 }
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8 q' Z/ j) c. S4 x* J3 {Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 4 T& E: X# [, o' t) Z
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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9 Q1 _5 E- S j& v# j( d3 g7 bHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 ' A$ p# d3 N; R% B4 S
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1 R+ `! F: i4 e& ^7 LBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 ) @) f' \6 Q% Y
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! T3 h8 E- I4 G! V9 |( I& _) vIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 + ~! |9 P, b) q- s
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
, W$ s1 ?5 X% \( v1 ?; EIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
& d3 [4 [. o7 }5 k9 O5 N3 DHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
( n6 o5 U; v" _8 e# B6 [Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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8 e# y1 I6 }5 NIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 # J+ C5 {3 [6 [) w* A
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) : ~! R, C0 r: \. f
Watson: Get that out of my face.! U1 m8 z: i7 W7 U
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
% P8 O, u2 _, d! p- |! p8 HWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face., S1 s" p" L* s( J) C; b- _9 [- K
路人警官 Clarky上场。 % u! @- P+ L3 V+ Q( m
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
( N& W2 Q* ~0 Z2 v- K# tHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) / B/ @. I$ H9 W0 v' U: f; s7 I
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
, p: }; q) [ g9 O/ FWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
6 b+ j+ I! v5 HHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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( Z) e* s# j# L4 i墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 + z: p; x8 o, m. |
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
1 h/ p; L$ }- tHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
0 c. l8 W) n2 W; k l$ SWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 + ]4 K* ?9 m" i1 k
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
- U- l, }3 h6 X8 w/ UBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…+ b G4 V& @ g5 K5 l
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 0 k' V/ F6 W! I. K' A8 W1 C2 t
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
% A% n1 K0 M3 t; r4 Q, j* ~6 jHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) & m) j, q% P: A8 ]/ @ \
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 0 H( C {- k3 b9 c
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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V' v, { f5 j9 |5 p" P警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 + k) Q$ s; k- @
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.$ [6 q2 i# \+ J5 U) Y" J* {& K
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
_. W0 o1 }. T% |' i7 b6 }话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
/ |& V7 T( n0 ?! CHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
9 s7 j: n" e- _2 Q6 zWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) ) C) b$ ~4 u6 g# F1 a; N- h
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) / i9 A4 i4 r5 Z% S! i2 t! U. R$ \# t
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?) N: }4 E% T/ I) s
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
6 V- ?5 | T/ N9 T* y! v( AHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
. l2 ^8 j) y% m, j0 S* oWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) # U m I9 k6 |- F4 w8 ]# v( r
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
! H8 e4 R' _0 g' E% Q( F! pWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
& L: y0 }1 l3 F+ ?, Z) }, ~Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
# d( I2 |& |1 _5 S" u' V( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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