《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** & n4 H8 A4 I1 }, a1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） + F. U: P/ t8 z7 @* }7 q+ wHolmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） # @% F2 q2 v7 L- O* LHolmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） 2 W. W5 E, m$ h6 gHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. ) N2 J7 R: x. t2． - t  [) `6 o5 n- s0 }" N4 ~% _6 A- k宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. * x! W* @9 H( {$ X& t3 W% l3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 ' _: c' Q: [9 H" LWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． , B* ^( l: |& M5 @6 iWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． 3 T0 P% z. z% O/ {4 T; a" ~/ YHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． * \; f1 W) m5 y3 s! ?, p  iIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 2 `! m: b' S- i' E( v1 \（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?   }( o: O4 e0 N: c, @4 uHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） 3 x: [* Q, w) R, p) L' n8 Z" qIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 5 i. R; ]! ]$ Y9． 5 ^3 d: e0 n1 x1 xIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。   X, R0 E& |/ UHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） 4 M& U2 l: d, z. K% d* RWatson: Get that out of my face. 5 g3 m/ i( u' h6 H: e  RHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. # Z7 ?1 [, d7 X- D- j; L$ j路人警官Clarky上场。 1 d% X! V1 O+ \: @9 l1 ?! {Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. 3 E& X- U0 s, J7 SHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?   h9 b! l5 v1 v) `# {1 {Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 # `; [) `" J5 F- a4 b0 A（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 * E' }( j, P; o4 P& t- uHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） 4 _3 r! `* u4 }9 ]+ n4 v$ l# |! ?Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… $ K+ j$ O& H: }( [* S  X: V" ~4 n, ~Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 4 i, F5 a+ j5 A9 b* }8 C/ B后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 6 L2 K) N9 i- Y% J, g+ ?& w+ G- V! b12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 ! z  m9 T" m+ ]( nLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. + U! W( p2 F- F2 G3 K+ h接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 ! O! h8 g. k6 |" t8 u) L话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 ' b: s2 ^- Z, W2 f0 ~5 UHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） ; y2 t6 ^4 O4 c; o% ]Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） ( x0 Q) }/ s1 J- W6 @. oWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） % ~- Z: E" f3 o' F2 oMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） & P9 h2 r& p1 t* A*********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……