 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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2 u/ s; k1 w% @3 ]6 e F. ~影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 + b8 ]4 Y, N6 A5 s( ]
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
. @9 j. F4 Z/ B5 T1 x; c$ e% ^/ qHolmes: I just picked it up.
6 l; v# b* _* h, AWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) & z$ {; p& a5 Z5 w
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
* x' m3 G) e- B8 s' {# d8 ?Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) * k$ R* m \0 d/ H9 Z+ k0 C9 P
Holmes: You did.
- r+ h6 _1 O/ ~% Y9 ?(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) + s9 H' A/ T1 ` d7 y
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 # z4 I' I) x+ P# K
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
' U( l: ^4 Y: G6 S' `Holmes: Granted.; z' q+ h7 ^! S" Q- F1 O
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 2 T9 x" J7 Z, K4 }. C. V
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 6 x1 s& g5 U( u" G& [ g7 e# D
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 0 `* g: l* A9 m, d7 T
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5 t1 O) K- T/ N, LWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 ! p, b, @" M% w% `
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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\' ?0 B+ f5 N0 `& [* NHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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: f: V2 z9 A: k- u$ W9 fIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
3 t3 H+ r/ `6 h( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) ! c1 Q( D- H$ E4 q
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
/ v& N8 X7 l4 y; IHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) # O' R+ z9 _! e6 t; C# w
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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: K0 C, _( C: X; a: u; aIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
) R- l* q( x' a5 H4 g* UHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 0 ?' V# x& o" o8 ~8 b8 ]' \
Watson: Get that out of my face. f* n; ]2 ?0 S- B
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.( }( I1 G z& T4 [$ M9 a
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.2 z1 f5 _0 g! C
路人警官 Clarky上场。
& b5 q* O* g5 e& f; r' qClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.$ L# D: J+ V9 {
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) 2 f' [ R2 {: K. D
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
% |$ }; @& n5 q9 kWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?7 @; W' T9 u$ `0 b5 A
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not., ~; l2 H2 }1 R3 b3 u3 U; v
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& i& l- ?3 f/ p$ k, Y4 |. G墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 . E% \! H0 m* r8 L1 F, Q
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 2 l! C$ s9 ?# O0 V. R6 e
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.* z4 U1 |; q8 u+ }; u! y
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) / ]2 n! \4 Z0 ~8 u
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
! O: } d! a' QHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) # E" I/ k4 n2 g- Q6 t- k" w! f/ a5 n
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…# r( T! p0 T( w6 N. ?
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) : `0 X; d2 e/ I7 G
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 * e' U) g4 v5 a; O) G* q3 o6 X
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
8 ^2 e9 _" U- V9 C- W后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
# K* g- Y) K& l0 l; bHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 % \! ?. l9 M* }$ l+ {5 j7 u
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.( d8 W' u: A, d" K0 g
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
( _1 @# S" B; S: D. ]1 f话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 + r1 ^# n2 X. O. ~
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
& X- H% U8 e7 k7 P8 y& z# P0 {Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 3 H! h* Y. V8 W$ s6 P6 ~
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
- J9 R$ m& o/ ZMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
+ R0 u4 R2 E, ]5 k, _4 A1 JWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) 4 b: B% ]( o0 `' N6 C* h
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 8 ^1 C8 e& f" { s
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
1 I6 F0 H3 L- b( iHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) 2 x' D n0 t, d$ J2 s+ I
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
2 m' \) g: U- cMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) " g, i: K, ~2 ?. }9 _9 T- m
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) ) C! I5 m/ @4 s
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9 U( X. t- ?5 U9 Q- A" ]总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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