 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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) `) f9 d2 d- ]& w影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 ( q( d- m/ u8 j& \+ Z
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
1 M1 Q- f, x5 s- y# WHolmes: I just picked it up.- U) o4 D: [1 t1 @) \7 E
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) 7 q0 T# Y) I* `, Y9 I/ d
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.; {+ g2 b+ r0 E9 ~! z8 F
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
; z+ g0 Q# C$ u: G, YHolmes: You did.2 X0 h4 X" `5 ~ q, _- N; ?& F
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
9 |5 N+ d! A# b4 _; m1 `Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 ! L3 E4 H# _. K9 [2 w$ Q
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.9 D3 G }# `, m+ Z* A1 y0 T
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
8 q+ f# A, l2 g5 }. Q- Z3 l BWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) ! ^; p. R" o: ]( c8 j
4.
% p/ u- p6 j( P$ G' V* j拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 . A: P7 y4 C# l$ i# d
5.
# o) O0 [/ S- NWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 ; r0 f+ K5 _$ c+ y) B( v/ V
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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* C- Q% ^) j3 ^- V8 V4 h5 B2 ?Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 , z; @: Q- T$ }$ J5 x6 W6 r$ s
8.
; b+ G0 V6 H K3 R2 @6 d7 i7 |Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
% {7 ~2 D( I+ x0 I( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) " S/ X& r2 `/ Y
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?% n8 Q5 ]" }' t ^
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
$ D9 {+ w5 L* S8 {- F: jIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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; w7 y s+ z2 y$ f& pIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 1 p8 C' | F' u4 e5 W$ V& Y! t
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 3 i6 E9 O& {: C# }* f; [6 b: {
Watson: Get that out of my face.+ w% q0 m/ h4 |8 B
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
0 N8 g4 y. [0 e gWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.8 [4 K( u- \& m$ K! K
路人警官 Clarky上场。 : o4 e7 o% ?( t& V
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.# {9 X3 W5 e2 G" o* o7 P7 _
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
% c. z9 A3 {1 ]! R% |得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 ; Z+ a, y0 Q } n
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
" ?: ]' I5 N# z4 ?! [' BHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.) C; U. e- Q6 {, p1 g
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6 X, j0 [: B- F, s. u/ Q墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
6 r( r4 B/ i+ c* f" n( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 2 S+ w) b' r" [
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
1 G9 @4 p; P$ o0 `* `: U/ dWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 , Z& w( w5 {7 i4 O7 V, K6 \: Z
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) ! X3 ` o9 a6 g( A, {# M$ x
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
) k. A( |4 G6 c, L" H; }/ OWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
+ w. Y/ u. ~4 }' M" m% X( W, |2 n2 D死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
3 u+ `8 ~7 q9 t$ U! S2 BHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
- x3 Z- O+ r# X9 c( l后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 5 f4 [, x$ R. v6 S
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 6 t2 ^& r7 Y1 _1 g
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 & b% k! u5 I) x2 n- o1 U/ ]' Y2 u+ Q! S
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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/ L- w+ h e3 D: L接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 ! t) }* j) p: ?0 n* ?
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
6 H/ o$ r: [$ L2 hHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
6 r) p0 I/ l5 x. i5 C( e. [+ tWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) ( ~, \9 r; s6 h% R) y6 N
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) % U8 C3 Y, E" O" }
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
% P0 q5 y0 z9 e- H" |5 }3 ZWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) ' @8 ]3 H$ u0 w- D9 q/ g% d
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
7 b5 [+ K8 o6 VWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 8 X/ T% _1 n3 U1 x( P/ X8 W
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) % [7 }: M: x6 b6 N7 m6 F
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
1 M1 Y3 i" ]* n7 U0 eMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) 1 x% T7 I! Q4 @5 P
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) / G+ z' D+ l$ v% n
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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