《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 # `" |5 r( c- I7 s*********** 1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 : l2 K& S5 M( _- PWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. 5 T! I" e; }  YWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）   n6 K& v: L- i2 U% MHolmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） $ ?4 i, M) @, UHolmes: You did. # R) T0 A3 p3 `  t" I/ ]. W（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 . V" U+ w2 o# c: c* M" a0 aWatson: Permission to enter the armory. + o# V2 S2 }/ cHolmes: Granted. : b% X% C9 P0 L: f7 L- \3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 / }6 p  [2 g7 |2 Q9 ZWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） ( E7 _/ `# R5 C+ ~6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 6 F$ W) Z- Y* t) R: n8 w2 s8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 - g7 o- F, a8 K（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 " O0 ~* `: {1 uHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） " E9 @) ^5 ]) w1 Z9 MWatson: Get that out of my face. % M: M2 r. O* L/ _8 i- E7 ~5 XHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. 0 }4 u/ U! q$ C, v* {" _Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. ! M* l) U  f: C- [( A路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） . E, q6 R. n8 p得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 / p3 m( W' L* X! _8 X8 U6 eWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 6 K, }7 w5 ^1 y% ]# H  r9 z7 f10. 2 x1 q0 ~7 R4 a6 F  W; f墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） + s# R# J% a) E. _% ZHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. 0 M0 C  b: y5 w* A8 D! sWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） ' `/ {# A0 h+ A* M- C( t9 t" m11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 ( l5 R5 u  z9 @4 r4 zHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… 2 |6 h; r6 }% ^1 A8 b; `% e0 H/ lWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 8 K* c* R* u4 Q; xHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． 2 v! h+ y; @( s) d警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. / J' F0 [" f) [) }; ]& g13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） ' i0 G1 l& S4 l1 jMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? & i2 T# ~' D" C* }( [Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） , N0 N  i5 q" [( f% U3 }. L0 PWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） 9 K9 C4 Q3 ?4 a. C7 Q* R# Q9 CHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） " c6 Y' s1 p1 H: e$ f8 ?Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） $ P% r1 @, t* {8 ]' _( yMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） . ^/ w! e9 E' _2 J* }' H1 b! N/ q（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……