 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
5 w6 D% u& k; V% ]% d: W( SWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
1 [% D4 d8 r" e- Q! Z1 NHolmes: I just picked it up.& P( v/ e1 p) }& y( y
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
' t o9 [7 _" o- S( mHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
' E6 \5 D6 l; f M1 z6 R& SWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
+ u0 p) V) Q0 W& u ~$ f: A5 z* kHolmes: You did. v" ^( R3 S8 q( u! t
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
# W. s2 R1 q0 c+ T- M+ n/ jHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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?5 Z6 O* }! g, m7 R% W宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 $ G. }' `; [2 y: l9 D4 L
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
) Z8 Q' l. x3 }) w. }$ ?2 RHolmes: Granted.3 J0 D$ X% h! k1 J; t2 a' T6 v' N
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) N3 ~* W9 v, d7 r( {1 L( X晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 # \( Q; Y; \3 o
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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! ]7 k- B. t* b/ r: @4 P) c拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 2 ^ R# _0 ?; J n: x) l
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& W5 t3 l# L( R+ x; c" f4 ^ wWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
, j5 X- _7 B9 @+ k3 f3 PWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) ( g P3 Y$ D6 N8 F ?' P( W; f8 }1 A
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6 q7 R; V0 h0 i1 L( G# hHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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9 }; W( v1 j; U7 _2 H; j9 [4 WBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 / D# {5 y9 K8 [+ f. ?
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# m* J$ P1 D6 {3 [+ E8 l5 {Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 * A; m- ], ^; |5 g( u
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
& K$ y( L5 c9 ]3 s& |; N# q" ZIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
* T; `1 R! f) N; pHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
/ S" a- k7 [3 j0 D' Z0 j+ aIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. ~! P4 J. n F
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
0 J' c' F7 m+ O9 mHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
% x# o! C% v* t' s/ f' B3 d4 V. SWatson: Get that out of my face.
8 S5 Q3 _6 R- P8 QHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
+ _ g* n9 |! Z1 M# R9 S$ r; l. r! rWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.& e+ G6 |/ |% M7 i3 F% ^/ N& W
路人警官 Clarky上场。
! s) M/ S% m5 l8 k/ d4 P. q! IClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
: Y$ e/ t9 i" J& i) ]& x1 Q9 P5 IHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
* t" k( h) a( B, y9 h' ^得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
" l# V! k0 i9 f, @- {% BWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
% A0 i1 ^1 W( ^2 t: IHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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% t, s' G4 z$ `7 X3 t2 S4 N墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 / O! _7 M( u) O
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) : E- H1 |# n8 m# X( k" @, o
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
8 J) W; I- B; {" T+ CWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) $ _3 }' ]+ l2 p: ~( v; T. P- h
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9 Y0 v3 X9 X$ \" J0 T% u+ Y河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 9 K6 w, K4 O" r! ]5 M
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
W% h2 C( {0 J7 K$ aBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
: p, v8 \2 p. ^$ u3 fWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) - ]# l2 y" a' I& ~- }
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
4 c, |7 ?0 O9 q- J4 e4 f9 L/ NHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
7 W( P3 w; |6 C' @' o3 u5 ]! H8 ]5 K后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
0 \, z4 X- U# ~* K8 v" U7 hHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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9 H1 I! i* ~$ Z- \警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 1 q' ]/ x1 G8 |3 T% v( p% A; Y- M
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.# @0 B- {1 l8 n, j1 f( ^
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2 h5 M' t- i) t/ J! |9 d% l接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 : Y6 L0 D+ F3 q p
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 1 v H0 G6 i+ V1 b3 Z n$ R: w( x
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) . V7 B& C9 Q$ _( d9 J6 ^
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) / z& S- s0 ]- Y3 @8 {
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
3 q) s0 M. Q% [2 c5 vMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?3 t/ p( f$ V; m9 ]% O
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) . h: }5 i; \3 d8 Z9 D& z" P
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) # {9 ?' S) X S0 [$ @6 G" ?
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
6 U5 q' U4 \2 M6 ?Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) & ~, [8 ] y# `: D% d4 n- }* H
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
# v" r' C+ ^1 x# J( xMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
- n7 Q! i- Y! W4 Y9 {1 w9 B: j' `( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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