 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 9 w9 m1 ^8 N. |
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 / M1 p; t" Q! Z" N# c/ v
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
9 ]5 m w/ x: K2 \; dHolmes: I just picked it up.
' \. V2 A4 D Q- J# h+ X# hWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
" Y, s M- J( `0 h7 OHolmes: Knew I forgot something.5 j) p0 j2 C4 U9 ~0 ^
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
$ N0 L; X1 b0 Q0 tHolmes: You did.2 @" Z L: m! Q
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) 7 }# @! [0 b9 h0 L1 B3 i9 Q8 M D
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 ! i& u6 z1 i, i# \
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
1 K; T- T$ m3 X0 B, \Holmes: Granted.
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2 S3 B' C ^4 T6 C7 s0 O7 n* Y+ G晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
; V I* q! E J' P$ yWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) & h+ ^& V" G( ]& L6 s9 d( \
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
I/ g. x0 `- G6 BWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 7 _" I2 [0 _' v- Z! W9 Z
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
. j( `( X3 h$ m- C8 L5 S$ E$ I( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
6 k" X+ e0 P9 TIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?6 K3 a# p }! \) L! R) d
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) ( T/ V5 l2 l! d, w; ]
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.7 n; q" g( C$ f' H' z
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 0 k2 s x0 q5 I' A
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
( H8 c- _0 n# o! {Watson: Get that out of my face.
/ [8 p! T* |$ z; B! }! jHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
) X4 C* s4 C8 ?$ q( VWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.: K- v/ N; [7 F4 d
路人警官 Clarky上场。
: S$ a' W! w- W/ wClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.3 K/ _5 }2 |1 N1 H; K* T8 ?- m; A q. i
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
; O& M( U- P1 Q' K2 U! w得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 ' d5 z7 S: Q' `0 m
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?, I+ j$ J; Q: A% h) f) }' L
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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. ]4 G: k9 a3 N墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 3 y- w s/ e. u: W: ^1 E% _ M* |8 L
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) + p$ {& g/ l0 ~6 |0 m5 b9 V3 D
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
. w/ ?4 s% P, ~* L/ y7 xWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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, [+ _) B; r; D河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 - W+ i. m" s+ b; g M) X
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) . f$ T# n' W, Q: y7 Q9 S; b
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…; ?2 w6 R8 V! ]8 p0 X2 C- P
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
3 ~7 s9 ]0 Q p" c3 x! J' ~0 y死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
9 n ^! k* v1 `, q5 X% p( t6 {Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) 8 Y, H H, s& k' Y5 }3 E
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
: m; o( ]2 B* |7 J4 p7 U# GHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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9 ?( m3 D+ c) d' [" a9 P警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
2 k" g P4 l, I* u% z! lLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 $ N8 [( M' T4 d- d& }0 k- J
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 ! {1 Y! h7 }* B. u' [; U! ?, }; b
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
$ v6 \3 g! x1 |5 eWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
7 b! y5 J. `( ?6 u& q# k {2 bHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
, y$ i7 i: F; s4 B# MMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?5 E' L4 i, S5 {3 y5 J0 ?$ Z8 T7 o( {
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) ! q) c b% @ Q9 E9 B% {. X4 L
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 5 Q# R6 ?, H- d" c. v" Q
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) ; n" U. |5 G7 z T0 E; }
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) : X* j4 B2 x% d% l( F
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) $ @2 B; }- Q/ U) q" l: T
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
7 K7 q+ R8 @ o( d* b7 h( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) 7 V3 d/ X& Q' W) I j7 u+ j- C& }
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1 F, D' F5 k2 h& u9 p& S总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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