 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 R0 Y0 j5 B6 i6 L: m, p0 p
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
' Q. _/ U8 y1 V$ X5 KWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) 9 U4 ?) T; o) u6 y$ l7 s
Holmes: I just picked it up.
" ^$ w# J( @$ m% u' ^7 _Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
* J# m8 D" P9 V3 O, hHolmes: Knew I forgot something.7 v, _ m k& S2 _; ~
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) 1 a: e# p1 I- C, x
Holmes: You did.8 _8 j" g1 V c d: D
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
5 ^1 a: L f7 ~/ n6 m) U4 \Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.: A# } p, g/ T% w+ i
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+ Y% X! A. {* D5 l" `7 o# P F宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 8 X' A/ P( D/ z# k) o
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
5 b: c% M( q8 g4 r* I6 DHolmes: Granted." H% a' O3 `1 h* o& T
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/ i+ o: c e1 [' x; k) W8 m; [! c晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
' {, _# V8 ?2 [" t p6 j8 k& d/ S8 `8 nWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) ' ]$ f- J7 Y6 O( j" d
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2 {5 c) ]- A; k( U拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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: s% c$ ^0 Y0 I3 t; Y+ FWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
. e& | r* c! o& bWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) : |% S8 B) f7 ~9 w3 u
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! `1 a3 v7 A; G4 M7 Q+ oHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 4 `2 B1 Z* `# p! p1 ]
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+ `/ K$ `8 y3 k! M0 w8 e% _Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 5 u. T1 c7 M- u
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* A& u- U' y" B* D* y" sIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
4 O: w6 O2 X, A6 V( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
$ W- i; `0 ^- S8 JIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?: ]4 l' N1 x: m
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
+ J0 N) \) a6 v4 \Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 1 Z; }3 @$ b" v: @1 h8 w" u
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) : V) v2 R7 M$ _) n- O- A9 s$ l) l
Watson: Get that out of my face.; ~5 J, W4 e- D; C; ^; I
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.* E; U' u7 Z+ Y& V! V
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.4 K$ a4 e: ~ L9 r: k
路人警官 Clarky上场。
9 ], Y x3 y" ]# l, ]* mClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.* x, T( m0 {) w% Z! t
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
, X7 G a R# B' W! M4 T) g: O4 n' U得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
& w1 t0 U& w2 D. TWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?& {' g" N. n8 [
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.. n T& \' O9 S0 {$ h& K3 p
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
" Z7 _, [& n' B( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) $ q4 M3 F4 z+ n- s" X% i. R
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
. t* w: l! F: \Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) 4 |9 e* g8 w! a Q
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
5 Q+ i( T1 G9 ]& @- K; DHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
' W. y6 k+ B$ ~! w4 c5 T6 P oBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…* B6 x! g' \. F4 ?' v1 \" T
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 6 f; H# L) u* Z
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 . C5 y& V2 J# o! U
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
8 J7 ^" G% J, r& @后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 $ m6 J/ O" q% X* T2 I. g5 p
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
" Z4 O( u r3 R4 G% ~Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.% E$ F$ e5 o$ J4 k0 z) ?
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 9 k. z* V3 e/ f
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
# h( T" Q, l3 b9 C+ {( k9 [Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
) d2 Y# D, m& F& d7 ~, U1 t/ EWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
) }9 G* Q4 l' a5 y( {$ H# YHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 7 ^: e' `6 h f5 L+ z' T
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
5 l) b0 s. I2 iWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
3 i" d9 A. u) v' o' I: ~! y6 RHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
5 }" f4 j% w/ l0 O% `Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
! @3 j- b; z8 kHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) T) }$ d3 f o; M7 x
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) ! o+ v% \/ ^8 ]! b
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
# F: N9 v- {4 w, \& v( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) - ]8 j6 J- _5 v( H- E
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2 x' N0 n$ L6 K$ \总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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