《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** 8 c! J1 ^# j& d4 C& l& i1． ) h+ P& q, a7 R5 S# ?# [) k影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） 4 L5 X9 y5 Q1 F' {' cHolmes: I just picked it up. ; e6 j8 a( R' |Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） 8 y& z& D: s# f$ l& M2 MHolmes: You did. ( }! P& w  V7 V  ?（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） ( U+ l+ L* i% ?1 xHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 4 ~# u/ ]& o! v0 e2． $ x9 T. E0 ^2 Y/ w) U宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 6 G5 o' g% ?  x. k: Y% @# d; SWatson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. 3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） ( E+ s1 s! c  c! e' h, ]6 H4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） " d4 K' I7 F0 h( M$ B6 M6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 0 D3 h$ G4 W3 C8 m" @0 S. h: n! r8． 1 g2 [9 @2 W' m6 x, pIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 / R% R* L. C7 ]1 i6 Q（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? * Q+ O. w+ d; e7 v: |8 r& G: YHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） : S+ o( @2 u8 [Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. / F$ I$ T+ R" z' x" Y& i/ e/ {9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） " }& \8 g0 i; B1 W6 NWatson: Get that out of my face. # H' p- d9 t( F# B1 W2 g4 R/ @Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. ; I; Z. \; e) E2 N6 x1 |" o& _Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. / K. a% t# s  M/ z# I" L# Q路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. - o1 l$ H0 [# FHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。   v% F$ V) l: w4 HWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? " V9 L4 R/ Y0 w9 F, k; @0 [Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. % a6 X. j" |" n+ b9 U10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）   r) C2 r7 Q5 _" }9 U8 e: _4 UHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. - L1 G7 B% p/ R" a' P' ?; F5 _Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） & U0 a2 X" ^. F1 ?5 U; NBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… 3 E( q. C2 D9 f' z4 kWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 ; ?/ N" \! {6 R$ F: qHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 . F# Q: q) V7 ~* e! N( F" R( S: zHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） ! b4 }4 J8 Q7 H3 S# |12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 : A4 S; @# g0 R% ~$ bLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. - ?0 f# B- Y. G: _2 z13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 2 q. a  c9 g4 }话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） + c$ d: X6 ^) c: qWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） / Q% S: v' {2 b+ _Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） 0 {5 n, C7 b  g2 a/ ]1 ]. xMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） 3 C& v# ~, {6 Q2 e& cHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） & s6 N9 s+ c3 D. OMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） 5 [" _" r  x( `0 y& l( \# |; }（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） 9 L9 _* K2 m$ O. A& w1 L4 i& h*********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……