 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 3 I" I$ J4 v6 Y" r8 D' l& k
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
; ~5 V- b" u1 o J% z/ nWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) 2 i* y3 b, K$ {3 l# k+ I8 y' n
Holmes: I just picked it up.9 B% J5 b+ h6 V" Y7 j$ q. D/ t
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
) o. I, U8 S: o: J# oHolmes: Knew I forgot something.$ _ v1 X- s( V1 p/ J4 z% y
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) 5 s: u+ A3 R8 k! O9 c/ f7 t
Holmes: You did.
, `5 R# e0 x1 R. p M& U(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
2 @7 ?; S. @/ V* x) nHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
% W" ? f* p$ l2 _& H- FWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
; P+ s5 V5 V/ k6 j# ] rHolmes: Granted.) \! N' G% B4 m, m) {9 h
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 4 |/ R2 O) X* V" w9 v% N
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 ) L7 \5 \: u Z4 @6 F
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! L8 E: [# X8 H/ r8 r! EWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
# x9 \0 \" e- JWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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* G- P$ e$ k) J* ^+ }# dBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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) n, @6 t2 C. Y, WIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 ; i$ C) H- J, Z& c0 D$ e" A
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) ' R" E/ O" S! o: w
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
# M {: l1 K; MHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) ) m: U2 _7 c- Y- k" O- D
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
+ a& K% Y2 F, N' H( L9 hHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
: f/ M( N2 G3 a* E; N. r4 A/ V3 tWatson: Get that out of my face.
6 c4 c7 C3 x- sHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
: h& w8 ]! R+ N' EWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
9 k+ M& q+ R! I2 ^. m2 r2 C& d1 ]. X路人警官 Clarky上场。
( i# b4 U' x" M2 _) ~( mClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.' \+ E; s5 z6 Y5 n0 F6 _7 T
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) / p8 {: @' G; j4 I4 H0 u
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
1 |' Y3 e9 B5 L% G1 W& \8 `( kWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
L$ m6 r3 z1 E: F& lHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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. K$ P$ h: ]6 f O墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
8 d4 L$ ?# c1 B( l( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
- ]1 ~: M: o, zHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
' _, Z7 m- L5 t7 k: S+ S9 i" k; x4 tWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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: u' w: M/ V9 {' \河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
" O% ~/ @$ Z1 m2 E7 v: NHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) . b- ?9 e3 a8 c% R1 Z
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
) n" f3 B2 `$ Z1 S6 F6 jWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
1 d2 X2 Q9 ^' u死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
4 Y" d# v v3 c" v H8 M% yHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
: r. G" {; w+ Y N% y+ y后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 8 W$ K/ u, w6 P. Z4 s1 J
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) * A0 K# s: i q( w2 W" f9 {
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7 q2 g( l# S) u3 L( |6 E& K警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 5 h# R J8 K3 `, R" v
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
\9 A- Y5 n6 T% B话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
& I9 n! y) E; V; ]0 E' dHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) ' u4 O5 a3 t( o) s6 u: G
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) ; B+ q8 s. _) J7 }! Y3 L, C
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
- R% q9 ?" i- i8 I, XMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?- K, R+ p* G6 K! d5 ]
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) `, t( a0 p) s! K' U# _
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
: X# N7 P% O$ r4 |Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
/ }, I2 Z3 K pHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) % h- ^% O2 `) s4 a
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
' J3 }, ?* Q9 W5 c w3 NMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) ( V# k3 U# T) Y/ k7 u
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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