《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 5 J) @* t1 k) U# a*********** 1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 : Y! _" U1 V0 A) ?% L+ d7 _Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. ' p  n+ p* \1 X* z- h* DWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） " [  \- T4 F) w* L5 a1 X! J0 [Holmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） 9 O7 ^" f7 _- W% ]! C9 LHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 1 v& Q% ?5 w3 J6 l# F: ]0 W" `# }2． 9 {4 N  r+ V5 V2 k宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 0 r" Y# S& M! s( T1 ~- m' ~( i4 cWatson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. 3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 7 |2 v, i* L& M: G/ v: I4．   @; h3 _0 Y: x0 B8 E/ {+ h7 T* x拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 - Y8 s+ }  u) F) O' v; Z* y5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． 4 J" V5 ]% T4 s- R$ RIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。   S+ _: ]* x3 o5 z4 {（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） # E* g1 k0 |4 F8 X4 H+ `' zIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． $ D  ?6 L. e. \% }1 x2 vIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） % c7 U3 t: _6 C; O8 d5 wWatson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. 7 Y" \5 ]4 X# ~: f4 ^7 @+ HWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. $ t1 ]/ @+ |, ~4 ], ?6 BHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 & s7 Z2 y- m2 F, zWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 5 b- S4 y3 h5 g（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） ' s* S6 p3 l6 B5 o) y" tHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. . n% A0 D' d$ n( u* ~, f" b& FWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） : W# ^$ O0 A: Q9 ~- J- t" V11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 9 v( Y1 c. ]( I% ?后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） - ~, O! Z- J% d+ ^! L12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 : @: M1 R& b/ A# m: |- qLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. ( H* _  g- l) |* U13. : E) ]3 J; U; F* o; T# q; O0 v) ~接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 / T2 l; D/ O1 }话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） / s1 P) i. N1 _* q9 r; g& qHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） / S/ a: }% [: `Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? 3 |7 M6 L3 V% F1 s9 C8 p5 lWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） % z- q, O) l. C2 D; ~Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） " u3 v) u8 ^6 J* U; QWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） # y7 n& q7 z  @（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** ! h, e8 {9 P: x2 e, r5 n总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……