《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** 9 P& n7 k& Z% E) O$ A$ `0 I8 P1． % b) @8 ?8 b( d+ J4 P9 M6 f: j影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. % r% b! g& u+ r/ Z4 f（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） 0 s( I# G' ^2 `6 ?1 W5 sHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． . a1 p; x2 y6 h宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 : X: I. ?6 z! [Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. 3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 5 z# a, \* E% D9 P' B9 e$ x* bWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 7 Z' O& _2 k+ W, B) p4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 - ^3 U- s% g8 B- H3 s# q( Y2 T2 o- Y% \# @Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 . m: S1 n2 s1 l8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） 3 T2 c# C0 h1 bIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? % f( t& R/ G. n* p+ C0 P$ dHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） 2 I4 V# ^; a2 \7 ~- X" N5 |Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） 7 S. d  K. v/ y4 e5 u: xWatson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. ! P6 T$ y. Y  Z; T路人警官Clarky上场。 ' F: a( K# N- r' X! E9 S$ vClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. * v5 N. `- F% i# c% THolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. ! U6 h/ W( Q; n. s10. % v- [5 a; u0 x% I墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 0 Z% H) {2 V7 ?& v（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） & H- ^& D" \! ~+ T; h11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 3 o* X: z( p6 Q5 t% _Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） ; W6 G, h: t9 s1 F) ~9 _3 NBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… 0 q0 l1 L( ]' {% X9 H4 aWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 8 ]  m9 l8 o  Y& e& [/ @" P后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。   e0 t! b% |& a" r! b0 wHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 2 D0 r6 K/ g6 O+ c) `$ t& O12． # _# ?: _: J) \* t6 E. j警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. ) _0 J5 I3 k2 Z2 U& _% [13. + d8 J; m4 {0 H) p& M/ D接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 ' w' v) W) g" u; fHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? $ W) G" L& k, n; i6 G$ q; R& TWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） + {# i' S5 U4 I$ S; Z& tHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） + l: ], B3 Y3 x  w! T+ DHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） . E/ m: C% y+ JWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）   s9 N1 u7 e+ P6 R  U/ u# ^( ZMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） . K3 ^( U9 X/ n5 H7 {9 a# \1 E（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……