《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 2 x( u/ v, G2 M/ s- d% H& q$ R/ q*********** 1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 ! z0 V0 q# j6 H, O2 bWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） , t! f: N1 B1 nHolmes: Knew I forgot something. ; v' u% A+ N0 M% p( d) Y& {4 [Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） 4 ^6 L; \% L. k+ A: m, uHolmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） ) `, @& B: K! J3 R4 I' x1 P" GHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. / ^" T9 h% {  S5 j4 E) P# T1 F2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. * p1 {, G- `, a) C, U) |) ~2 a3.   ?% U" f% [+ U' A7 @* ?晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 5 \: N, |7 }6 g! E! JWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 5 a! R2 g% V: ~, P4． 9 v2 _4 Q, ?/ J6 {8 d  ~4 w拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． ! e1 h. d: T, o$ zWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 ! d( z7 m3 \+ U3 |0 l1 R5 lWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． + D' c* ^3 @, d3 t# a! y& f6 bHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． * Z. S. y4 Q, I+ e' IBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 4 ~7 A( ]9 H2 k  J; T8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 * Y* M$ O8 h" u; F5 J; p' I（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） 1 P1 M& h! N+ ]. s: v6 i( yIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? ( B9 z+ K8 ^' D: l7 G* IHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） ; K$ a' |1 d; l3 `Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. ( L! A7 I' q( q. c0 p  q8 s9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. : @% q  `3 |# ]8 O路人警官Clarky上场。 ; s1 j, J* S+ a  l$ wClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.   [( P* L; R3 M" e- u4 Z% v( Q1 MHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 6 ]1 F8 C: H- a& n1 g墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） ! ^. r7 J4 I3 h6 g( S11． * N3 R1 b4 W' `/ ]# X河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 9 T. x9 J$ k0 e* d$ {2 ?Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） / i7 {4 U4 p, {) v9 A$ [8 [2 p死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 3 R$ Z9 {+ i( V7 G# \; ^4 ?Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） . W+ a/ U% S0 U2 U2 T+ \后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． % F; `, I* }. l! P* l8 N4 ]% y+ F8 f警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. 3 m5 M) n+ ^) a! ~+ N接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 & g/ f  [' m( h$ m话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 ' [* Q! j& L2 |) ZHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） 4 p! y/ L& S; |; ]. iWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） - H, y; w7 b. E+ P3 e: WMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? 8 d; E. r$ X8 d( W* aWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） $ O: I) A1 r% }! D7 K/ THolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） ) ^' V& [0 M8 q7 l2 u; r*********** ! W" \% U# t2 C2 z' q$ a0 S( E总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……