《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** % n) g# R! X; `; c2 j6 x; V1． 2 R8 A: Q, s9 t9 ~% r" h# R# z; |影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） 6 s9 ?' c2 I+ I- z# dHolmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. , K. {; _# E( N9 G# _8 gWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） ' T6 V% o  ]1 G/ h9 T" ~; s% JHolmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 7 S  F9 c( E1 v5 V8 l% |" }2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 ) c( ~8 _- {# [: s, iWatson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. * n+ R& W" A5 H. N3 L3. . n) I$ K1 P  A5 U晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 0 h. z- ?" \' N) d/ H* o7 I3 E' ^Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． ; T0 K7 b$ K9 g& D: kHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 - h* p  H+ T1 Q; L+ _8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? % J9 i/ |4 j- R) @& ZHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） ( K- V5 i$ i! {Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. " n2 W3 d  g5 ]) N/ H* {" S9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. $ u) `% r3 f% G! E: YWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. 1 J/ X" s% n2 \5 n# OHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 8 H9 M; b7 l7 W4 M0 Q9 d得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 3 [' m+ m- h1 V+ M# WWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. ; J4 ?+ e2 A" {$ D) r. V' I10. * ?1 n$ r# q5 m墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 + `, [" u+ _/ P! l' ?（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） 2 |4 `) C( M$ f7 L2 n) ?3 |" S- s8 y8 q0 r$ tHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. " u0 o! m" _$ ?# J  U' CWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… 4 x' Q0 v% @$ u( w4 M' l9 l6 BWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） . p8 O: a) ~7 H9 P- Y- ^1 ]死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． ; p: @( \* M$ p: |6 h0 A* N. \* r1 [警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 0 j; o+ ^- e0 ]) \13. * n5 Q" I5 j9 ~8 p接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 * x5 z% K" q+ Z+ ?8 rHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） : ^/ T3 P. d7 o! Z) r" `$ u/ DWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）   x9 S; V: w0 h& t% x3 VMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? & ~/ s. `( W! |, }Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） ) }; c, d6 [6 G" ~0 N/ K$ ]Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） ; \- Q0 v/ s  N6 I+ Q$ D# uWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） ! Q, z8 k3 H: J) pHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） 3 m% T' U; o! Z; |" H（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** ' `' K9 C9 [7 ]# {总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……