 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 - ^4 ?0 B" r* L( ?+ o. H
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) % s: V/ Q+ u! S; l
Holmes: I just picked it up.) X6 M( _: X7 c8 T
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
m9 \5 m/ U% B) S0 W7 e; s1 NHolmes: Knew I forgot something. h) C2 K1 |% R$ y) y
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) ! N9 g& y& @, U5 v
Holmes: You did.
1 A+ h+ {9 c1 p6 t(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) 5 k5 I7 f" D* i. W% |, P
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.5 o" O% L/ l% s A
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
; s: i3 l; n& a' RWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
R$ Y) W$ G) Y8 h$ I; b9 `* THolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
3 F5 o, C- l0 D7 ]. S/ \4 N9 WWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 7 s/ S; d$ o* h+ W& H2 \- }
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 . s8 R4 Y7 _5 Q3 n
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2 U/ H* a5 q+ s1 {5 p6 JWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
+ B- t0 h; d/ P# rWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 5 x3 o7 \( ~! Z% F( n( x: a
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6 z3 [1 N0 z& K/ B; l2 ^Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 2 N# z$ @4 J& G# n) S: ]& M
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 $ w; N" U+ w* ^4 }1 }$ ?) u, q
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) - O7 W6 f* j$ H) _
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?( o e. ~* I4 u" q9 _; A
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
* E- T7 N) E/ p9 V) }/ T$ rIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.+ k/ ^* a3 V2 f! h q3 \1 H* } E6 ]% v
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 ) j) T) D$ x. F
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
6 e2 ?# S& x) R, wWatson: Get that out of my face.
0 J" C9 F9 F, Q. w# ?3 c- zHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
; c+ Y" D6 E! ]3 A& K4 NWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
& n7 m* j! H& p路人警官 Clarky上场。 . I! b# d$ A( q0 | N7 b n
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
$ @, M0 v+ P. L6 m+ k) nHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) 8 Y& k( v3 W& K2 a E/ Z
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
" I1 L8 W0 u5 r- bWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?+ R6 ~2 y- C, L. Q8 t& h
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not." I5 |$ y" j) U t, e. N, q0 c
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 % V, m' _4 K0 [
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 6 G, |- W; V: x
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely." G, j I) k! |! L6 ^8 {) t0 Y
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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7 ~9 z# L4 h/ _, c D+ a0 S河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 2 R7 a' D) t5 F# ` p
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) & @! O" v4 {8 _, c+ Z4 E$ F
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…( ~% G% R) S: B; `
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 5 o" J' c. C( B$ l! W4 P- H
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
, E- i3 o% U0 l% p* |; x0 QHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) 9 Q6 D# e& }7 Q' B1 \; i% o
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 ! B/ C% h2 u3 C/ K
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 7 }! A, u. W) {+ ]
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 ; T8 K/ z j0 H0 S( _ x
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.8 o" t: Y; c7 ]+ Y. r" W
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 # J+ Z4 J2 Z5 R7 q9 @# B
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
. X5 j2 d/ r; b$ M oHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) { a( \2 P. K/ O
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
. J9 `7 A. @* c) N. B! SHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
5 K, X% T R; Y- r9 F% u) zMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
2 X7 }$ j$ {% _ z# vWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
, t& L- u( `" kHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 6 {. c" j0 c2 ~
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 3 j8 g- e3 o, T
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) + y: @% y" C' x2 C
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) 3 s/ R/ v) M. ~ ~
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
$ v2 z+ ]& T1 q8 u- B$ O( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) $ y/ O: o# v: n% a# z) A7 M
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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