《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** , |" E: @+ q% k4 L7 o. x! M$ i/ p1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 5 R7 F* r( b) _Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） ; X# `  \1 i) @8 k8 R, FHolmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） ' q; ~3 l/ ~9 n( HHolmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. - K" x* ^3 J+ w; j+ v2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 3 l' `! |1 P3 p* I2 oWatson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. + r/ C# m2 y- F7 L" A3. 3 K9 t, _1 g& y# M晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）   V! \1 e% p, ^* e4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 4 D8 j7 P2 d' d: Q1 a' q; N5． - X; A/ y7 x8 v" b9 V! MWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） * M& U9 o# T: ?; z  U5 Z. J6．   U# {5 |" X% n0 v1 B" {6 U1 THolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． / k4 K4 G+ O6 E0 B  M, ABlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 4 |0 T9 d1 I3 v, c' Z) i+ I8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? 2 h4 x5 u; w$ ^/ N& V& \) I2 d7 VHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） ; f" j, o* M9 A% M0 \6 v7 GIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 ( k4 [0 K# ?* N* @8 ~! fClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. 5 t/ n( i& ?4 Q  p* H6 K! \, NHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 9 o9 Z2 J# d5 R得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 ; f- A% l# B- FWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. " p  J: }5 a3 k$ z" ^& n) d. G- t! `10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 ! ?! e7 t- w( f' P" Q: Q$ k9 K（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） 4 B2 X2 R& P2 T+ WHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 4 [/ o. @  @9 u6 k死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 " `" n* |* S( D+ zHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． 1 ^. Y: r' _) V  J7 B警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. . Z, i/ h  h/ R8 Q8 f13. / B- D6 `6 I, F" t4 f: m接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 ! h7 A1 H7 T' {1 p+ T话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） " y& `: W* U4 @* h- ?& X; C% ?Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） # I- x5 {  I* IMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? ! a- }0 R+ n8 [: A; q+ OWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） 7 d5 I8 S! S- e* t& h9 aHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） $ R  _4 Z" d) Z8 O: V  RHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） + o. M2 Y* D$ O" z- f( H4 A) aWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） - T5 }  ]0 `6 K（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） 9 M; t- ?  I5 c6 |) Q*********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……