《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** ' B. G# i" T& m1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） . l8 X1 z1 }8 \( L1 C) R1 }# U# c1 XHolmes: Knew I forgot something. 5 y7 G: O4 ^+ J. CWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） 6 C* Y2 `3 ?1 xHolmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 3 s* t7 P% ~$ H2 @: Z& O$ m0 c' F6 _2． 8 K1 c! r2 s" C% [6 a  P: }& X' g+ S宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 9 n9 i3 A6 \! v4 ZWatson: Permission to enter the armory. % Y/ _9 Q* V+ T) K# eHolmes: Granted. 3. 9 \) w4 L# O2 p! r- f晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 . {6 g; g3 Z0 Z4 P6 Q9 FWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） ) J- |! y' N3 [* Y4 o4． 7 k, G3 q; U/ M# e拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 2 E. X  @9 z  w/ C) A% [5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 5 c5 }3 G3 L  P* ^" E: F: rWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） : I  I- ]2 S& P! P9 E6． 7 i. E# A" ^6 Z' yHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 6 l# F- Z2 e# o+ E# z5 R* e7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． " x9 y7 X/ W4 ?' ~& z& mIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? ' D3 w2 m- Z  m( W2 T) }Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. . r# ~# H$ U% i3 m* I4 {' S9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） " K; g4 B) G3 }9 cWatson: Get that out of my face. % x0 A$ a5 J; O% O+ ~8 nHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. 6 I* {$ r* j* M: n2 I. `; cWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. - c' C0 S0 T& A( ^% E6 THolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 2 d" g+ K! V' K: d得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） " Y7 Q7 J4 J+ E4 u0 V( a11． 1 W7 q* W( @- ?2 T* U( G河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） 6 J) ^: S0 o& @6 x9 x. O+ uBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… % l6 p, A" M- p* o8 VWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 5 A% ?! S8 }4 J# n9 r1 @8 S; DHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）   _- n, P" z7 t$ K) x- b3 q12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 " k8 G2 S2 R7 MLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 + U# i1 u6 w9 a) O& h: }  l话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） ' ]# A- [2 @* ~) l, NHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） 8 J7 j% m4 Z7 YMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） + s" E5 C9 A3 t- z9 c9 xHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） 6 J8 `; }2 S9 E- T; bHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** 0 B+ v& V* M5 d; x. {9 s& o/ E: y总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……