 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
8 t2 U% h7 F& C* |. eWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
4 p) ~( Q6 j( N" t MHolmes: I just picked it up.
6 E l* B' \* H5 K8 @/ _! BWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
* m. ?. z& y, X7 Z3 L0 R* lHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
+ w( ] K- W% ^- X3 T6 a" b2 \: P' oWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
& U0 [ |2 _/ s+ s1 R+ qHolmes: You did.- |* @7 p' C/ j' l' A. v
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) ( l6 q- o$ ~: F4 \" i6 g* q
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.* \- D6 K7 P% F: e. r7 _, X
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4 d( c6 W: k5 ~; r宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 6 Z) n# ~6 v$ f, U8 }% c4 |
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
+ e2 x9 H6 O& z& |. x; rHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
( V; N5 S1 A3 S* u6 v" V9 zWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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" w+ @4 p: j! N: A拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 % C* G% R9 c0 t4 i7 r! H. @9 ?& W: p
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5 R9 K7 A% s/ V( ^6 eWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
3 T# r2 \/ U$ z( L) C$ _& a( o% E. }; qWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) + G; ^' S1 \( t- f9 N5 r
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 . V; l# I6 E8 x5 X( ~! T
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: a9 O- B) p6 H5 S5 W# BBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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& \' l0 S J3 Z9 ]3 o$ T( nIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
2 K v1 X5 c t8 b( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) 4 q$ ?7 x. q8 s/ [( | e
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?& t8 z/ B X) O( p5 V" j4 W# c
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 3 s+ z; Y) s- @0 y- T
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
1 X5 K9 y3 n: n+ J+ UHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 0 ^# f- n% `. e
Watson: Get that out of my face.2 Q$ y# Z& ]2 A2 e
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.- s0 r1 l( f: ]5 ^# t0 [3 K
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
; e* E+ X Y, H" s) t4 C1 P路人警官 Clarky上场。
" l% ~! A5 n; O+ f2 V4 pClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.6 D' `9 ?: J6 ~8 d: Q9 H \. J
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) , p3 {: N! D3 a: W" Q) S* y
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
$ {7 D# K$ _! I8 {Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
! K6 `8 j# u$ K* e: \Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.7 o J9 Q9 ?1 N! C* Y
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
4 q* \7 a% x% a1 Y1 h, @( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
* E3 D: y6 a1 R; RHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.0 H$ b" ]4 G+ a+ R
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 * p$ s: V( x: u* b& T0 k7 g" g
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
) Y3 i" a. [' o, N. uBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…' i B! w, j7 b% Y P2 [ J
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 4 M" E; o6 c( v
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 ; ]5 y: [6 Z2 A6 F3 x
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
% C6 P6 v8 I1 w/ f后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
+ z$ K* F: K& @, q3 t+ ?8 uHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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0 U/ n* C0 w$ k! ]0 d警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
1 C0 E" }2 }. P* E/ ZLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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7 g2 N7 T% R4 J* f接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
8 @3 M) Q# H! y$ D话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 9 N$ p4 Z% K- Z! M. [1 r. a' N
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
0 S, @/ i) N, o* P4 zWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
- ^4 y+ V, i1 v) R+ U4 nHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
t; {; q$ U h4 N0 d$ P8 O3 x! d6 PMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
+ P9 v" ^3 r. R, S1 g6 @Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
7 N- c7 G3 Z$ t) D2 vHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 9 k0 @, J" o9 W- R0 e
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
! M; T; t4 _3 p' J0 o5 {' X% bHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) % B" a9 z6 t) O% V$ u1 q' \
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
; \" v4 F' s& d2 z2 NMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
3 f; T6 a5 m2 w8 |( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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