《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 , g* M  C2 n- i; P; n( w*********** 1． 0 O3 ]9 v+ f% c) J3 I* v3 d! a# @影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 * r1 b5 O) D1 a4 q/ C' k( `; ZWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） ) X. N- }2 d& ]4 D9 X: [6 dHolmes: I just picked it up. 4 F) [6 G! t/ {, \7 vWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） ! u7 N/ e+ d& I: L* f( `Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． - ~7 V+ g3 t* h宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 2 H" I, w8 Q: I1 F% X/ GWatson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. 3. : B5 ^% _1 f; K! ]晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） * l* m5 o+ P6 K! ]5 c. R$ I# {4． $ R0 \9 ?; F: a5 C3 f$ g# V拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． ' [( x5 }. J( ^6 s8 C+ h% J' x/ xWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 0 }0 s6 ^" D; e! F6． . ?* i# b( A! n; E, {Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 - c6 ~6 ~) X9 u2 Y7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． 6 d( w6 n! _* PIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 / y, ]) P0 i* T) G6 W/ r$ O- Q4 j（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） 8 i3 o$ g, W% d% v! \0 g. L/ ZIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 , Y' Y  A: k, q) bClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） ) C; o) A2 H3 s( N) l; C0 u. |得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 ( h+ U) f( _# B' s! C+ g7 WWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）   z. C/ Y- t1 GHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. 1 ?- }4 P/ J5 V" z0 D5 Z5 i2 PWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． - @5 G; O& z8 B  c) T- i' v河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 2 n! o4 ]. i& v7 `7 v! lHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） : s% O0 U: f; x  F" {! P) DBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… / E5 ?- D, B" }+ k, P0 f$ |7 YWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 9 S2 W% f& d: ]# G: J死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 6 [4 h+ }& S' U" i2 }( R$ |Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） " e2 U" m. C' }12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. 7 U; ~$ h8 ?# G( k- F接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 # |% J7 `& O  e+ A. e) s6 B) o( u话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） ! M  V2 M. @3 J2 k4 _) [Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） , k* f: p, I& K: Q& g! ^) b- tWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） 0 b! E  q/ T& w/ y0 {8 u* JMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……