《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** 4 R5 Q, a3 X" p/ E1． 0 T$ T+ Y3 r% ]影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 # B0 k# e( G/ r8 Y+ VWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） 8 _  r9 F/ b2 k% z; u5 F# C6 x8 `7 cHolmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） 9 W9 |$ a% D* L/ A! Q$ f  N' THolmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. " L6 g7 N1 ?* |( e0 O# ^2 O2． ) S' t- ~* J8 O! U# B宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. 3. ; k1 y  S  ~/ \+ K1 {6 F晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． ) x6 S' C+ t; h: h+ \5 m拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 ' ?' g5 c' h& a4 X1 z0 x5． , ~1 F9 Y8 ~. u; U& uWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 2 N9 Y- J3 n; W  C, n7 F+ Z6． 3 Y2 q0 j1 _* aHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 / r+ o6 B, E) o3 y6 m* a: ^7． ' ^7 e5 h2 E+ r$ ?  uBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） : J* z3 L8 k1 `, IIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? 1 `1 x6 W2 a% _9 i+ }Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 4 H& f" {, u6 h* l3 X9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. ' i- T) s- \& \Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 / d6 @8 s, q' pWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? 4 T$ N7 V+ E# T& uHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） 0 A! R. k5 T, O' c, q, hHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. 4 a0 H- q$ S8 N  ]Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） % x' ?( i! Z, K7 v% a11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） / {4 p$ B) o, n5 Z+ t" k4 X: C+ B死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 4 s2 u8 ^7 B& o$ c, \6 iHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 + v4 O9 _7 C1 A9 fHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． 9 T$ L3 P) e# t+ Y2 d警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. * M7 C! `1 A6 v: |0 ?1 C8 f13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 4 V% ?4 {+ J7 N! ~话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 8 c+ r* p& K5 v: [1 F5 e2 hHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） " r: a; y$ F0 M+ E6 p8 l4 IWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? 2 G0 n5 W8 T# Z5 \( p/ d% H' y9 sWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） 4 V* I7 K9 d5 a4 y6 }( QHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） 1 H5 ]8 e  `- X' ~4 A* `$ `/ eMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） % _) r7 T  H" K*********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……