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《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

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洋扬 发表于 2010-3-19 02:24:07 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是Holmes,不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay
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影片开头,Holmes启动Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的ShrelockWatson一同制服了另一杂兵。  h( u. J3 P4 y) o% {! Y
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)6 J& d7 `# w. l" O8 j. ~6 L
Holmes: I just picked it up.6 i! @% J* W. F# A
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
$ |& V! G5 B0 E% U! E, hHolmes: Knew I forgot something.4 K& A9 G3 @% u9 q
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)( w. }  V$ U4 }+ A0 p$ @! ^2 E- d
Holmes: You did.
3 G+ w# w/ t! c% o(注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
  m0 J" J3 n1 MHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.; n; s: }- J  Z( b5 V/ f
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。WatsonHolmes的房门。( {/ e: ~# e$ P6 k" r
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
, Z: ]  C# k; W' ^7 K: @/ NHolmes: Granted.
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0 f, v3 E1 L2 G& x晚餐桌上,吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。/ O6 ^2 P. d# ~
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词:very mature。). Z: r5 y, W/ O, k
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拳击场那段(Holmes启动Combo Strike之前)的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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. e0 h0 m# b/ L! z7 P; Q2 |WatsonHolmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。0 q+ j# J2 A$ N7 ]
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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5 d' z3 O, u9 q+ R, e4 }/ d: QHolmes去见Blackwood时,Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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' ]$ F& x+ @# XBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。0 d" g4 ~: m- e9 W) E
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$ a% R4 a; u3 R% R( FIrene(就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终boss)的委托来见Holmes
$ [# f0 i5 f: DIrene掏信,Holmes惊慌失措)5 L$ ^) `; n1 k: W
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
5 D1 y" P1 N5 f; m$ j* o% lHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。)
( e( I; Q+ m1 U0 ]Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开,Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕IreneHolmes,建议Holmes远离麻烦(leave the case alone)。
2 F8 \1 |' |# wHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。)
' `, c/ q. {" Y8 EWatson: Get that out of my face.
2 G" f/ S$ F$ i$ {: w4 q$ zHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
0 Y% O7 s: k( Q0 D. K$ Z/ S) XWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face., F  i% m7 {3 Y6 v5 I0 j) v
路人警官Clarky上场。
; U4 k$ J# A+ ^& Y3 E3 {* lClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.% N+ ]; _- D/ C1 w2 p0 n
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)4 g" o/ W, Y" u
得知Blackwood死而复活后,Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。% f+ B! E$ B; X2 G1 ]
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?  R8 j3 W" Z( r- P
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.7 u3 Q, [/ m! }6 v2 x, v
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墓地勘查后,Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母,Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
3 R4 ]; c/ a( u1 K9 h( I+ tWatson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。)" Y9 @  w1 M; K0 h; w- f: h' ~; _
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.) P4 @4 A2 m: C- }; i; y' U" U, F2 x
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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5 Z8 H1 f" Z5 d+ k河边屠宰场,Blackwood13地出场后。6 t& E  M1 O& {, a( _
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
2 b( F( B" I  {& n& ?) K7 \Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
' m1 _! y+ N1 a0 [% h' i# A& yWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)$ S6 \1 G0 _% S2 S- L; m2 l# i0 _! C
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了SherckIrene( S( Y* k0 {# t1 E
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
  n, V9 D! `4 q- @% k+ u后来解Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
* Y% ]# @% E  h$ m+ kHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
" W/ R( b% J9 ALestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.+ T- c8 n( y  i; A4 {. I  O: W
13.
" Z0 @% d# E, z接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。7 A( p) |1 Q4 f5 g: n
话说Watson和未婚妻MaryHolmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。3 q# t: }- o1 |2 B
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟WatsonBut it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示Watson放他下来。)Good afternoon, dear. (向Mary问好。)
6 B$ @! e! v5 g0 k5 wWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
; m' Q7 x0 O9 [- T3 z9 y" gHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示Watson放他下来。)
* a8 c  _9 \5 ]' o/ V% P: E. FMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
6 f3 i! E1 p$ Q9 HWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
5 f3 N, I3 ^% v, D- E0 o2 y0 [Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
4 p2 n$ O$ {  ?! b& R& xWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。)
+ D1 V" c# ?; FHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)' L$ w$ u* `  ?, l# X  [9 j% O) r
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)% e0 U* y, r, S9 R6 P8 _
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
7 u6 d+ z' c! t+ \5 k, eWatsonHolmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……

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