 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 e+ {! z4 f' k2 T' q9 R# i6 j! u4 r& \
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9 H7 F$ U% Q, h1 }* ~影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
/ h v% C* V4 k- N* I( ^Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
# O0 e1 O- l1 b9 U9 D& f: kHolmes: I just picked it up.
8 s! I; e- {. T, k4 C2 ?Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
, g# g. Z& k3 [$ W$ gHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
8 W: ]) N6 Y0 C" ZWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) ) d7 f7 T4 P8 {
Holmes: You did.
# y6 |0 B' [( ^: x0 j& ](注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
) I- G x# O/ R) y& EHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.4 A1 M( d1 v3 m% c2 K6 d6 G
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 ' {' c. v/ U/ w+ t
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.9 D8 p+ R+ X. E0 [1 {
Holmes: Granted.0 Z& ?: H1 k/ l0 A3 y6 t( g' E3 k
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% e# V. V5 U x3 N* f3 d* F" b晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 * z5 ~% A* o3 Y. E. |5 a
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) . d! z: [7 m7 W, w
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 $ F( C3 K: B3 f" d8 h
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) * Q5 \. h+ J% @1 M/ ~# k* i' S
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 % Z f* U' T8 b
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 & _$ J1 Q( _& D% }: Q: ?
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
' a! j& [9 e' k8 h3 C. w3 iIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?+ B' y1 _. l% ]
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 6 ?8 R- ~; _' J( _. U/ q6 O" [
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 ) c4 _$ h6 Q# a: \' B: ~. W: q
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
% o( X% _- \4 [3 O' I# J* QWatson: Get that out of my face.
% b! p2 ]2 Y, d4 o: m7 d; x, xHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
4 x" ?! l5 x% R, x) X3 RWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.* M/ u$ k& r" ]8 [* { k& R7 r
路人警官 Clarky上场。
: t1 k& ]% K+ b* Z5 a9 LClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.1 L& a* E/ Z# Z5 i
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
" g2 [3 B! ?# Q4 {' ?得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 ) Y1 @4 i7 Y6 s7 u; B
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?* q3 z, @+ M, i% q( n$ A; s/ z
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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9 ?( G& q8 [& E( s墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 8 G$ p# @/ u, P; B1 {
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) ; E4 \: v8 M6 {% V. O
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.$ \) X) ?- `9 s; |! ~
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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) t0 C3 f. s% U% y. p河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 * g; F7 u; ?# m$ T
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 8 z2 s0 k" F' U4 t
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…( f9 k9 v; l$ Z9 C1 q
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 7 y5 n; p4 O4 C5 x L
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
9 m! }0 A2 n) cHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
d6 x* D4 A% v# y3 n: w) c后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 i" n. f4 B/ l. ]
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 5 o, K$ l, R- J) m; ^5 g
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.$ F3 P. \1 Y6 |! J0 @9 k2 C
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 4 O( r, d5 p& V8 }7 t7 y& [6 t
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 + p: F( {1 ^, f% _1 ^% G* V* e- P N
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) + ]: X1 v6 {3 y2 h
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) / e* s% v# _/ r X
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) * o$ k; H0 Z4 P8 m7 K6 O5 u
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?2 Y4 c% K% y" F8 N; z5 k
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) : x' m% ?0 _$ K9 @0 h' d) ^
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
b; _! I; p* q5 n0 iWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 4 i- e: S" L' d+ \ a+ X- B
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
$ N# W+ V. O# c6 GWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) . [# p* }0 B& c
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
- \+ o* ^! Q* k5 j+ }3 b( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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