 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 . U" p h. K* i1 m6 \
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; U0 {! f3 f, |* H4 m影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 / A* B. Q) L* F+ t! T6 ?: R
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) 6 Y* f% i, c: {1 G' |# t" r
Holmes: I just picked it up.
1 m# ?- s+ X! l( D( o! H# ^2 JWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) ; p+ {: }, y, ~
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
7 K# u( t$ P1 hWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
3 V4 K* y9 h" Q$ D1 n1 G. sHolmes: You did.
8 U: b" h S- J4 L; @# K(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) ( Q+ J2 L, Z4 i' G% ]4 u0 C- c6 M# q
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
1 K+ Y) W% R l; _7 gWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
; P5 n' U" m! W9 t. Z8 ~% CHolmes: Granted.0 y5 J$ A' |" h" h. q
3.
9 {7 w8 z; B4 T% D; f8 C- a晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
/ R d, b' d# m: Y! MWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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1 l7 y( @$ b8 M ~$ g拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
" ^5 ~! Y: Y6 n+ o1 TWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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. j* M/ H3 @0 G0 a9 b3 d6 E* HHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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) T3 Q( s& Y7 Q2 `# p( I+ qBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 1 i* g& R8 L8 D5 I
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, ?( c7 n% v# J- `/ {3 \# B* ]Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
: \2 }; u0 Z5 p% W4 l$ C( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) # L/ S' j, L4 o b* }
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
. q$ q( g0 P' wHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) ) P$ `& k f/ Y/ X4 i
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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+ k0 p2 s2 W& s. W) \" BIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 4 J' c4 p! m" z, T& V
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 9 P9 o! S8 W% s8 n6 G- l: C ~- a
Watson: Get that out of my face.7 K X# j" R% E. o
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
' Z/ s( X1 r8 U0 Z% IWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
2 R* z2 X0 Q( J& ]* |* G) j" s路人警官 Clarky上场。
5 z1 p: }$ ~) O& ~3 v; X5 rClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.* q' A0 A: Q/ F E- s" W
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
' Z: `% j) h. {$ O7 a$ h得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
/ q9 |9 q5 I _7 A7 f! c( Z3 g& GWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
: k; J9 `! t/ v- k9 AHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
! \( d5 v" h3 S( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) ; l: {% I8 X1 [
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
+ U& M G% j, t; `Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 + u8 v7 e: `& K9 n/ j: X% }3 t
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 5 u6 A7 z1 d* g; K
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…1 I' [8 e) ?9 N4 F
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) % I0 n2 {# v* `, t1 W8 w: O: _
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 8 H1 ?4 T- E5 X! y( O7 X+ k$ K
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) ) l5 G* d' P( z
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 + W1 E; Y [* ]: O
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
& O3 l' [4 B2 Y S3 X8 wLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.+ [' b3 t- G! E9 y" K+ ]' e
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, c1 M' x. \% P- A2 W接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 ' E; x& ~) V& E' l |& w* E7 @2 @
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
0 ]' N+ N' L/ O; O: Y/ O) DHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 9 c" h6 T% c( J( p9 q; t0 O
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) . i7 d; {2 d( r& Z8 F+ b
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
) v% d5 E9 p% p: Y D1 ^, lMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
( Q+ X+ r, R5 s& G! CWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
0 ^ T3 R) F3 LHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) 5 n8 x% u `( ]0 B3 w3 m, c
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 0 Y- e- ?+ R2 m4 m+ {% I
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
! f; N- M4 g5 O" R$ q5 AWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) 5 S5 {. w7 K9 G, C8 z
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) 8 t0 d& K- w7 a: r- l2 `- [
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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