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《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

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洋扬 发表于 2010-3-19 02:24:07 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是Holmes,不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay6 ~7 [0 B0 q" g5 n, l' a
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影片开头,Holmes启动Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的ShrelockWatson一同制服了另一杂兵。
% B: W% C0 @7 P$ L) ~Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
  c4 v/ k" C: \" M$ y% XHolmes: I just picked it up.+ ~% Z0 h. ^6 H- P4 F8 |
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)) h' }, o9 n8 W
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.* m* `# X- E' U
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。): S) ?" b( o/ Q5 t2 E
Holmes: You did.9 v. ]! j/ f( K1 w% H0 ~9 I  y
(注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
  T! B4 R$ A7 h% YHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。WatsonHolmes的房门。% [7 s& k0 L8 x4 K; m) D
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
" I* ?* R- ^6 S( [* IHolmes: Granted.
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) X4 _; C* c: y2 E晚餐桌上,吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。7 ]; K, T! u+ V+ B
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词:very mature。)
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8 ^' O4 I( t" d! P3 o拳击场那段(Holmes启动Combo Strike之前)的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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6 I- L9 F6 r) a$ jWatsonHolmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
' Z- p# U$ L" \2 y& uWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)$ N0 \4 T: u7 J( C( S  a2 K. D
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Holmes去见Blackwood时,Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终boss)的委托来见Holmes
$ b! l4 c# g' t$ ^5 {$ HIrene掏信,Holmes惊慌失措)
% B/ e# s6 J4 w* D7 |Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
- X5 }7 t( x6 F3 m7 QHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。)
1 ~& v2 I9 D2 M6 MIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.1 |( T+ D6 K. Z! `. I1 B  \8 [
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. c# P7 g9 \7 @# z5 @1 R1 n9 M, }- hIrene离开,Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕IreneHolmes,建议Holmes远离麻烦(leave the case alone)。( L5 z, ^* m- Z
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。)4 L* s+ g3 w+ k  j! ~3 R
Watson: Get that out of my face.
; B" Z7 ^0 {1 x" vHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
9 Z5 n8 s9 v; K' Q7 w' s) LWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face., F$ I7 a7 H3 r) t/ U, K" M% t
路人警官Clarky上场。
1 D' O- `) ?. G: v/ M6 OClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
7 A" q+ P3 m+ g# T7 p4 fHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)4 Y& m5 W: c* n( Y3 z3 w; |
得知Blackwood死而复活后,Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
5 P. Y3 q4 }2 a: {# k) t" Z, d* SWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?7 }" c0 K) `" d8 ?- j& |! P* i( [
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not." n* M; ?- e1 g5 L. @% `
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7 [' u3 q( m" \. a* C6 C9 b墓地勘查后,Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母,Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
2 r( q0 I$ O% h; Q- tWatson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。)" }; M) o" Q) r4 I  n
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.( l* S5 H4 E% W4 G
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)9 M* u/ ~  D+ o1 W
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3 y/ s2 ~$ J4 d0 v; L河边屠宰场,Blackwood13地出场后。
+ \) N! |) s: f) c2 Z  VHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。): A! D5 v) T3 I( `: u4 s8 V8 }
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…$ G: e, A- H0 d- d- {
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)( A2 p! m' t& [
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了SherckIrene- u  ~; K  T6 O: N5 O! d
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
( N( ?' }5 |4 B4 F, _后来解Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。1 X, x. Q# G% O$ a5 G. |4 ~3 t
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。/ p$ [$ v2 h; V8 V
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。( Y" u' V' e! S/ N+ M! C2 a
话说Watson和未婚妻MaryHolmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。& r* g; g2 y9 k; x. g+ z: _  M
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟WatsonBut it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示Watson放他下来。)Good afternoon, dear. (向Mary问好。)8 {. R. [& q9 T; S
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
6 ~5 i, x" K7 F0 P2 ~9 t5 Q8 yHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示Watson放他下来。)
0 ~3 F0 r# m; c2 R. oMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
7 S9 u$ p9 D+ X. S* i, |Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
  x, ~. s0 Y3 `; {0 |Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
( Z" m9 v, h# Q5 O! `. D/ {) }6 Z# mWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。)
4 x; `0 ~1 w! P# xHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)% a+ W" d! h* \# [
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
1 `* Z% l# R" zMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
* ?2 a% ?& Z4 A2 P/ v4 s/ uWatsonHolmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……

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