 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
3 g- z0 N& {7 Y7 x. l) jWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) + A3 ^# }2 ~* A' F* Z$ q- [$ n
Holmes: I just picked it up.
2 l; ~5 N& o! g5 HWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) % I3 V% F8 z, }; d! ]$ l
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
" P9 L7 W) E+ Y; [. |; }Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) ) T6 N$ m0 Z( j8 b6 q
Holmes: You did.
9 A: p( t: }( R. }0 P: d, N# Y(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
4 P( p" e: C0 H! P4 QHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.- O- H* R' I0 H8 Z6 P
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6 X% C" V) s% T( P- e& F# A% d& ?; F宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 $ m( N$ Q. c" V5 y1 a
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.7 m( E1 Z4 A! h2 W `* x& g7 }
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 8 q0 [) c, m& ^- c1 H
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) " y& N9 _) @( a+ r
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6 ?: o$ J9 J0 [7 {( f拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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8 M5 ~6 X6 j9 ~7 \; G OWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 # w) a7 E3 B. G4 B1 y4 P
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 - n+ f3 U# @+ F# A
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 6 `8 Z* D: l& j9 i2 d. q
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
) t4 Y2 [% F/ Q( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) % {5 M* h7 B0 @. h; {& m3 L
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
% I; v) T; f( }& |; ]' aHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 3 U0 w/ H7 m; G4 Y4 M3 K
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.1 i0 r/ h% ^/ G; o+ r P7 D2 k
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 ; M1 l% n3 e# Q7 {
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) 6 i7 d0 s4 c# O
Watson: Get that out of my face.0 ~; s8 \& f, c/ A
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
5 Z: [+ {- i8 G2 ?( n/ VWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
# @ g0 v* H: n! Q1 B路人警官 Clarky上场。 / ~+ z' H1 o- k4 e7 I1 m+ i
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
+ m. U4 ~. ]9 z! y& BHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
0 Z/ p0 r/ b% t$ h2 F9 y' t得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 : Q7 J& V% d" `+ f
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?9 r- s- M( O" u# @7 Q0 T
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.- h+ o( ?: O. M# c8 [0 ~
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& ?/ |* i1 _- _: C: \* l墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 9 `4 ^: f& R9 R# b0 Z" @7 }
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
B; ?/ \7 N; m; m" T+ MHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.3 `0 z8 E8 H9 n0 S7 l+ Y5 }
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) ' q* o: e6 k8 y9 c* I. u ]
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
r; s& b* P4 u, [Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
7 c% h" a4 i% n/ mBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…+ E3 i. x7 ^& G6 D
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
* U# b2 `" z5 Q+ W死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 0 R' A8 [. E' N7 y
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) ! P' s0 u' |+ A- O3 k' ~
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 & a$ S: F( H7 D
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) ) B$ a: S) `$ P# ]% G5 G5 k
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; X" ^$ ?6 n0 a- Y" g警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
8 j8 _) s- E/ A% h. z' VLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.6 T( K! |) ?9 u9 N( S
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4 N( ~! ^/ u( K3 ?8 R接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
$ [) C% ~$ ~" g- R' ^# Z话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
- ?, X' a) X4 R1 N# s v2 E# s6 gHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 6 |" ]) b! j- r" Z8 }0 s/ j
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
/ |: T& [ J O1 qHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
! W9 q3 F+ U* ]7 N, m, w2 zMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?5 E0 L. w$ U% S
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
+ M0 m5 |% Z# s( u7 w2 t/ BHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
9 ?$ v/ o3 ?/ bWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) * e6 h2 R: k9 i* H9 S1 w
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
2 Y7 v5 g0 h0 E/ d& r9 t- [8 y, }" WWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) , `2 F& E5 a3 w3 v3 x
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
) {3 X/ z. A. U/ G4 M( {( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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