 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 4 ~3 u# T1 \5 n) |& K
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 # Z7 y. b0 b! g# a
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
* S) G; y& c) ?8 S9 t: d* {Holmes: I just picked it up.6 h) G. p' ?- E9 ?; v
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) % y1 I0 ]" }* L z- A" v
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.! r2 k N/ ~- |* o' a* r
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) ) m3 `# o/ c0 S$ X
Holmes: You did.
% D; A, J6 D: [' z% N7 M5 j(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
! _) ?# m' N$ d& Y' fHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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$ v$ E' q- K+ c- R宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
- n( G6 z% l2 S4 u+ uWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
+ H; t. @2 c4 \& nHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
& K, s! v: ^5 i$ g, JWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 6 @3 k& L1 r, F
4.
0 o7 G& l% z& g' R1 }1 X G拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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* |, q9 D O" G, iWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
; h, ]3 [! k5 b7 LWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 % B, g/ _& o {7 y
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 , ?2 M2 @7 Z( _+ O# k
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
# O; o8 t k& x2 u7 H* v# u6 `Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?( O$ L. Z# P/ w# S: s! M0 ~6 x
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) ' p/ E( K# C) Y9 u; b4 d
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 * W" P& \# w3 A1 D2 U
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) ; `- P4 x3 P# l
Watson: Get that out of my face.
; j4 ]0 f4 t% ` H2 E UHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.$ o7 I' g( i5 j% Y9 [! F5 }. w$ F
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
. S" |# M2 [5 J, k路人警官 Clarky上场。
/ E3 e1 z8 Q9 p5 h. lClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.5 `; ?/ A* [' B1 b
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) - V8 i% _* O0 g
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 6 F5 q" U/ d" }! b+ w
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?& C M5 Q6 y* H# g. d# s' O8 k0 u- `
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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% G% g1 W! X: r" \0 t: o: p. }墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
+ r# p8 @; T. l8 V1 \( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
* k5 P/ q) y% hHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.: k7 z: ?/ u; w7 J* q- V& S! b
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) 7 `( Y% k! A7 r9 O8 N
11.
7 A; j$ e! n" r! A0 u% m! I河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
+ Z0 A" v* B% b: m+ AHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
7 G# f3 k7 G+ o/ X- `- QBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
@* ]& c" E( i; j. F% _Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
/ u: E" l& n0 r死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
* i& e/ r& Y. _# E2 U2 sHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) , T5 S- l+ r9 _) A2 P% g
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
) h1 r/ H9 z" z$ T6 g& tHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) & j* H9 W- l+ f! \7 t
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/ q( f- T0 a" d* t, D+ V警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
u9 M# m; P! ?; G) L9 oLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.0 h& P* P1 S+ Z% y7 i
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
5 ?3 @4 K7 [$ c Z话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
( N- ?& ~8 P: C) X2 d1 KHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
" J& D9 d% U4 s+ w( s& iWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) ! e- y ?( Y! D, I- P! v
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) . t( s$ ^/ b( D
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
$ S# B! c6 ]+ B, {5 ?9 C+ |& h$ M- WWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) 3 j, l3 F; G& m1 w+ W
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
8 I/ r* r! U- gWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
- D4 j+ T% x; C+ N4 UHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
( Z) w2 b- @, G- p1 c1 ?$ o( v7 gWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) / F9 x# b) a: C6 O) `0 V
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。)
: [( I) T4 b) T2 _( U h- L8 c( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) ; z. ~' `: e/ T% a, f; E! M# B( v
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- v9 H6 e9 Y. {( |8 D总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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