《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 9 A8 u3 I5 K% P9 ^3 J4 y* M1 O9 s*********** 1． ' {1 u$ P! ^" e3 f' y9 z/ O影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. & M( \1 a3 G& Q7 |Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） # s: W/ W' b$ P  z8 g) e6 y, ?6 u" ZHolmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） . j. p: o  q2 S* h# ]! qHolmes: You did. # c4 A6 r' Z# g4 [（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. $ z/ Z  ^5 Z- B( {1 ?2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. 2 j6 z8 M3 ?' O! \Holmes: Granted.   _8 J  X+ v) z) H6 F% D3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 ; `; [0 a5 {4 qWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 Watson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 2 ^4 [0 k; `3 J  X) t6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 5 r# ]8 r. g' o& c4 G7． 8 @  P) h, b  h' y* U2 c% CBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 ! Z  C2 \9 w0 n$ }8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） 5 v/ s& @3 b8 ^5 \9 SIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） 8 u* V. J4 C9 b% vIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. ! L1 M- W9 \# [( Z" J/ o6 f3 v9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 & g6 u2 Q' H- OClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. & ^" ^7 U) @. c2 }0 VHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 ) H2 G$ {4 b2 IWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? / Z1 w. x8 j, V) m* V/ m# XHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. ; C6 N7 g( C2 h2 ^10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 （Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 3 @- g; I4 |+ \: Z( `11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） . A3 L2 K: @6 K+ M0 v8 t后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） - K) `- _/ c. c12． 7 |1 L# S1 h% O- K9 Q/ v警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 $ ^/ a& O9 u1 C' i; ~Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. / q* P' m+ F  l+ R& Q( o接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 2 @8 ^- d5 L7 w0 Y) M. D& GHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） $ d% x) [, b" UHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） - G9 X1 ~3 T0 E+ MMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? 3 P  X: B% o' yWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） * S) Y2 \. o( ?8 fWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……