 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 2 h( j$ R; x5 S" {% R
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 4 R7 k( J1 S5 U+ g3 x" W f' R; J/ J
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
9 n$ h$ s. ?5 c) Z, v F6 O0 v$ V5 EHolmes: I just picked it up.7 y% \( N( `3 v7 V! p9 L7 H8 R
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
& V6 h1 u) j8 q9 S0 F$ AHolmes: Knew I forgot something./ m' J. \/ d% D0 M- P ?
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) ( V* w2 z& [0 l& t% ]
Holmes: You did.
, ^7 t, Q# @ l, m(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
; d0 H- L- }! [* VHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.9 S; p. q1 L3 Y1 M. J" f. i
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 ) V8 ?" _* @! {9 H5 v1 z
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.: K0 b7 @' ]' {
Holmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
- N6 C- [! `, Q5 HWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) # z6 W# [( X; t: @
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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+ \! n, u8 L( N0 [& TWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 ; z* ]! j. e7 \/ {! b
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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7 J# c. \ J$ {7 K$ MHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 ! X6 n$ t, J9 H: | v( P6 c! u
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
- ^6 g, P( ?* A- u( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
9 j6 N' H8 ^8 [* ]Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?7 F8 F S" Y% i- b# \3 i
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
& y. ~3 E8 `3 t/ ?6 V7 AIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.$ n9 P: q# `% m0 ?' \# a7 i9 _
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 . H" N' N, p# n6 H* A+ j
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) . L: c2 ^9 c+ T3 c c, s' Q z
Watson: Get that out of my face.5 u" n) \! Z! |. @: O2 E: m
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
1 X- w. K9 U' I3 p7 X' @2 ?, h7 sWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.& u: s) o' t% x4 _" L$ d4 S8 Z! f% e
路人警官 Clarky上场。 & d9 i- F' v8 e' {# _
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
, h4 a1 l1 J7 z+ W$ X& S4 uHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) , m7 k9 P& z( w( I( S" N9 |
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
, p' g: n* z% q' u: zWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?5 R8 l5 i2 c4 Y
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 # J3 j; q D$ g1 d; A( e s
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) , y. r9 M! q7 m+ a( w2 O1 G% M
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
2 _9 \: a$ A! p) \) @1 AWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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" u) J) e! f0 K" ]) H+ U+ R河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 & c8 I9 f1 i* g" G, t, N& S
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
5 f5 G; N9 \9 H I, C+ `7 DBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
& H+ L4 m4 a2 p, _; }; JWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 5 ?. l* `! D0 W8 F, G
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 4 R3 P; f8 c( e
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
d" U8 K( x* l$ K- [后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 * w4 G, j. u( V1 B$ {& K6 F' {
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
& F& ^1 u# M2 \. w& h/ u% y+ GLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
- `' S, d9 A1 T" K: }# k话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 G3 J0 i3 K+ x& B$ x0 S! j
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) % u0 p% O. O8 G
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) ' J( O) _0 a$ H+ Y. e
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
+ B8 a; e: {4 j' M2 z! f- L$ ^0 s- zMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?4 P% g* p9 C: j6 X2 R$ G
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) . P \% b! a& Q7 S8 ^5 a5 p' k
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
) F$ ?$ e& ]% A6 LWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
Q5 x8 _4 A( w- O9 k! k' \7 PHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) ' n& i: F d: w% m9 X
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) ' x0 w4 j# t& P
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) ( N! Q: y1 H( [) S8 y
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) * P+ o3 k3 ~' \ D
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& ^9 ]1 g) ]9 ~: m0 _6 g总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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