 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 4 B) L8 m2 @0 S# C; a* P$ c
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 ; ~* ]; r; l& P; Q2 K
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
" v' M; c9 b; f- ]Holmes: I just picked it up.
" G$ B/ C0 b$ jWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) ( n; z2 Z0 b0 @, T, I
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
0 Q6 \2 E3 H C- O3 L2 LWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) 1 m7 H0 T# R# k/ I% @8 b# I
Holmes: You did.
% _6 B' s- x! g$ _(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
' g4 w$ [# }0 P3 j8 J3 CHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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/ b% M( M5 f2 Q; t( r# C3 y* @宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 T% a5 W3 h, R6 H' W0 u- g) y4 V
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
: Q% }, U2 n) S3 k& ^, U6 PHolmes: Granted.( n$ @! {# U5 ~& P
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
% r1 o( X5 n! e" sWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) $ B( }3 X. R. X2 v q/ J
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; H$ H9 S% j0 t0 z) h拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 " `* T, u4 L! y8 F
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
- l0 `( d4 w: z( o/ c' v9 hWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) & c9 S+ ~7 a% f) d! r/ o, s) g4 p
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
) ~2 D. t1 q8 \; j( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
- C2 h+ s: o9 D- ^Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?
# J* ]" u5 c+ WHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) - M4 `' D- x5 n9 C% Z
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.6 x8 J7 Z8 q% `4 M
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1 W! C. W: G0 z+ R+ i2 [* jIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。 . t2 A+ @0 `- k5 r* y9 K
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) $ x. |, z2 F8 Y. b E3 N' U9 ?
Watson: Get that out of my face.
! s$ v2 r% F) V; C& k# cHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.3 L. k$ j7 O1 t U9 _2 p8 t
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.0 X% w3 e+ _0 u1 N# b- p
路人警官 Clarky上场。 , ^) @/ \; v+ g8 |4 ?- E
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
2 K5 n3 g& y* W* n! R( t- AHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) # Y1 k. L g2 v# b
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 - D4 Z0 y9 E* d, n+ [" `
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
% g0 E6 W9 T! ?Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.3 s0 y! {) }, c0 x+ u- \% Y- ]
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0 c% D' o2 c; _- k墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 & R' u! Q" P/ V" G4 \6 K
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
3 s- D0 O% Q# J5 d* oHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
1 A- B6 k6 N) }2 {Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 # n0 n4 @2 w' K. a d
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 1 P" G8 v/ d- R6 [
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…4 l3 X& g7 R4 x6 J4 q) T" {
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 9 d: J2 N5 Q# u O' ?1 I! ^" w
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
8 j1 |2 D; d0 i! e }6 n: T6 _. lHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) 1 l2 M- P8 B# F+ Z1 s
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
+ o1 K9 w) l" J, xHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 2 \; p9 J* K& R! M) T7 k
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 - J A$ i! i. }& |$ `* R _
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 4 I% F' B, K6 |( b: Q3 F8 `- {
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
) ?: s2 W, u# {( hWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) , k( e9 H D1 V- x1 k, F! ^
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) ; [9 `( _; Q/ H0 h! N* `
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
6 f' @. x" M% oWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
' v' w# r+ y; V" c' d4 @Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
~- G( Z( n8 j; h4 q4 c7 l) fWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
1 A3 H$ S _/ a: e m" V0 RHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) 6 P8 v& } u- v$ A" e: Y, C8 M1 J
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
: q' I/ U8 E0 \: |6 |Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) ) p" u) |# y$ [& Q) x7 @; y! I0 E
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) , Q6 ^+ ^4 f% r* h2 ^: Z8 U
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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