 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
5 J% ~' g! m1 }. ^3 K" Z3 K8 XWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) ) v" x j$ |, n# ?2 x% U" k/ L7 i
Holmes: I just picked it up.
2 f7 f# T% p; K6 O: m2 FWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
% N, J5 n$ a1 C* A' `/ rHolmes: Knew I forgot something.
' J$ u/ V9 X" O' IWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) " V- ~: Y& D/ R5 z; j P% v
Holmes: You did.
- s* k5 i. L) @7 x+ m& ^(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
- }; w, v% v8 w; wHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 1 L* _% d8 _, r6 ?7 ^: c3 m
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
: z/ D: ~. `& I4 T8 QHolmes: Granted.3 j5 d: x# v: z( _1 N g# J! Y
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
, k7 Q/ ?( N" E/ p" M' [Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 6 Q* @, c- J3 d2 X
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
7 M% B8 O7 Q6 j' ^) h5 U" \Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) ; d) t+ s ]9 Y
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 ' z8 n; A* x9 ?: ]4 ~& Y- r; r
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 7 u, Z }! c7 k. E/ ?
8.
: ]" g- A2 I, E6 P# [/ N* dIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
9 H, J" `" e% }7 M: K4 E( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
& h0 |5 f+ ]- _% ]% p9 NIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
) A) x2 Y `0 E6 P h* n+ fHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
$ ]6 \5 E+ v. O+ j b& }* \2 k- yIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope." a# W: @4 A. c' G# R" r8 d& c
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# I% A4 Q4 H: f7 qIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
; p: {6 C4 H. H# S' e/ QHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
7 X3 ]& h7 Q: z, J* OWatson: Get that out of my face.
" @1 g: h) @, c* n7 V7 iHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
6 W8 Q. u) h, u( m' f IWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
6 e0 C% j9 Q8 s( q$ A/ l路人警官 Clarky上场。 % m [6 s, V6 _3 Q! Q8 w# d% g
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.8 ?3 d" ?+ J, u c$ p* M
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) + q" {9 i8 \! O
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 ) T u4 M+ p$ K b# s7 k
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?/ y9 `& Z, e# n5 B
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 : i: d( [. g% Y3 Q, z+ u7 |
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
+ V0 V5 E2 I, k8 b/ G% y9 vHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
* o3 H" g/ V% W: ]Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 7 x) [- d. i- Y* x
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
5 u- x$ Y8 P4 |+ R+ DBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
+ m& h3 y4 ?6 R4 j4 R7 m& MWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
- \- I3 N* \% I2 L1 D死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
# c! s4 n8 c: r) n6 _Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
" L" [ j4 F0 Q, e/ @后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
b) ]' G, @$ m9 Y0 R' N cHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 7 d, ]) \2 Z2 |5 L' f/ `- u3 H: T a
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, F* e0 |" x9 c) j) F4 G警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
- s! }0 u; j1 m" ~Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.) d: ]; A3 A; O
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! c" b* v# x+ s* x* y2 u接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 6 \! I0 G& B6 _: R% t8 R
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 * s+ P1 q, X1 K5 w) G
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
! @2 A3 j( o- O9 M4 ]Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
- g% Y- e$ s7 Z7 o3 z* KHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 3 M6 d0 W4 A. N# B, H
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
; `5 A1 L, `; W0 R* r0 f* WWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
3 z2 A% E0 K7 C( d. v5 H5 R% ^Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
4 ]2 ?% V+ R/ T+ [; a ZWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
# \/ {5 q4 ?* [5 RHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
, B( w1 ?9 ^- DWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
3 Z7 m& _/ ]9 w- I8 e# l4 PMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) & W1 G, D# S; ]
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) * ?8 E2 J! k, }7 K
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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