 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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0 Y* @* Y8 C2 v6 ^8 O; o影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
' `- s& r$ n% `) K& ~Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) ' w0 f' S* h$ v% _& K
Holmes: I just picked it up.
3 Q, z/ ?# u5 c; Y, K; Q) NWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) " C* j, G, K& i' S+ c- Q
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.0 q6 J; S% m0 m
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) 3 ]4 Y$ `6 |% B5 `
Holmes: You did.) Y" U% }- T6 m* K: Q
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) * e" M- H: |( r3 h( R5 {
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.! d; m# [" T- F+ E2 F. {8 L
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 , S. Y. v. J. N% p& ^3 e1 Z
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
, _3 X& k+ h# w! v) L- u6 PHolmes: Granted.5 k2 p$ f- }$ J2 f$ y: o8 V
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 6 g' ]6 r' n" d: o( H
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) 6 X* I# N8 M- ~ N' D" Y& e0 P$ I2 m
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 ' Y6 ]: Q3 Y8 K2 u: K3 S0 y( v
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
& L* p: N+ S# OWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 ' x) ], W0 ^$ |5 p6 i% R( l
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 4 a% F" S5 b; f9 _, E2 k
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: ^2 Q W' L+ y4 |# iIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
+ Y/ L& D: `: G0 t& d) b' V( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) ) W) I! S/ B7 j0 I0 e
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?- K! w/ }* W/ L# u. b
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 6 s2 B4 m0 \9 }; Z8 b; U
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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7 K6 ?5 e3 X/ |& x- c4 f$ KIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
$ C3 g$ K) X: ?# }8 |) g YHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) ! v' F+ u1 a9 l/ H
Watson: Get that out of my face.
) Z; Y: P( |$ |; p8 { FHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
# I& P b& ^% o/ |! AWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.2 U/ @2 c$ @7 n5 S
路人警官 Clarky上场。 ! o+ p9 }+ U2 K8 h
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.3 B8 `' i) b) L) c' R5 [
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
5 K- I, W8 A/ j. M得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 1 ~4 b: S7 x7 J0 E- k; [5 L) E
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?, |) k K) A' d8 ~
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.8 J, B2 I: Y& ^8 y0 F9 H
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" f9 m+ ]! U* n( w7 g& G墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 : P1 P* F/ R2 ?4 N
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) 8 u3 A1 n* N. Y1 X8 P* D! R
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
- e1 Z: [% N5 l9 U8 V! Z, Y' d/ ?Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) % z. l, L& F2 Q! r K
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
% e$ ]9 r/ L- _: U0 e4 r* d9 KHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
' G' Y0 r, d2 Y, x; {. WBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…4 z: v5 s6 o. K* }
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
5 c% z& V3 f* d" v+ ~4 u, R死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
: p: ?4 k1 {% z0 gHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
8 d: C5 A; C- @+ ]+ j后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 ! c: F, x- t- w. |6 i4 ~; s+ G
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) " T+ j) O) J3 K9 G
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6 N) p A8 Y6 B8 {* ?警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 & L8 L7 u4 B- m4 \; a) Y# v
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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% Z4 x$ u- }; h3 F7 |' ^接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
( H$ G. D% M# Y% \话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
& u2 u2 \+ X+ ^Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。)
- i7 Y* }2 w; A2 ^; Z( EWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
/ ?' x( m: q" ~/ FHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
5 r3 I4 r/ R ? J+ \& b! b% I' DMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?/ O1 L2 C6 E g0 K; q3 x! C# q
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) % ]& S* m( ]$ j7 a2 T# ]
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
" }/ E' p: q5 eWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) # ]; D" ^) k5 n) g
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
+ _. e) c {1 }$ H* i4 n& V7 c: o KWatson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
+ P" ]% k: h, u+ G0 b* aMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) 0 j5 a5 W M, G' z" U
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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