 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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* Y S3 |1 V$ E8 X$ b影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 * Q* C0 S4 U* Y% f1 _5 ^. A
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
" p/ f0 R/ @9 X$ a3 p; xHolmes: I just picked it up.
3 c/ C5 {, G0 a) [1 w) V3 sWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) 3 H( c/ A$ X c& l1 n& R) Y
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
6 @( s' i/ H$ W" h" q( s9 IWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
% p' R! J6 T9 R$ x8 d# jHolmes: You did.& k# A2 U( i) F8 k' q# p0 s
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) - b* o* H% s) L, K* Q1 W$ \7 t
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.! |+ G& p$ m2 s
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' u& }# _$ z5 p8 o宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
( q& {" a5 o. N: A6 u3 cWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
9 D) ]* K& ^3 oHolmes: Granted.$ E8 { B& B* C$ r0 W
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晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
( Z# F- |4 a8 H: W0 Z Z4 kWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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2 k4 J2 Q @0 s; ~0 V7 N: x, }* k- m拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 7 o4 o9 _% ~- N4 o
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) z0 Z' R; |0 k" jWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 $ q9 |/ v* N! Z8 X3 i
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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Holmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 ( c0 ?9 }, ~* l! `# f
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# X8 l/ r# ~! iIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
9 b) z* Y7 u9 E+ y$ V( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措) ! f/ e6 H1 r3 {) Z- V
Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?1 V% P' `* @* H: }
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) 8 y% W9 E% E. ~0 F- v, n$ g9 z3 ^
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.& b; E; G0 v x; I0 O, w" n
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
: E- {7 U. M5 \: Q1 y Y, y5 vHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
) h* i. P3 B# I, SWatson: Get that out of my face.5 q8 ~; ~; n& m' z k4 G2 Z$ _% i
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.1 l, E4 O# J# l( ]$ @1 g3 U0 b t S
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
1 g* ^5 k9 A# T4 k% a3 j' \路人警官 Clarky上场。
8 [8 G4 k7 w4 fClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
( ^! }* p4 c9 q, f& x8 SHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) 0 L/ D+ E3 v K+ s; i9 c4 c
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
) n8 R7 \) ?8 y6 G# xWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
D' v' ^+ g7 i& c" _! W* S/ GHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.& Y+ P0 h+ P! n/ [
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3 B& U+ z' K s1 h: T" N4 f' G墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 ( r0 n9 i3 B4 ^
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。) ' E8 t$ U: W4 ]( N# P- R6 W
Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
9 E& |4 S( W. {2 fWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
. r, x6 k4 J( U: s% O' Z0 Y3 aHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) % V0 o* o4 S4 D: l% ?! Y% }
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
& A1 Q2 J/ [6 a( y# _/ [$ tWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) ) V3 M) J; j. A; ?7 v
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
/ l4 i* T0 n. Z5 IHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) 9 E1 O- l4 z9 m
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
' i$ E$ e+ ?2 ?0 ?Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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! u! O W8 M8 G警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 2 @5 ]* ~% l9 J$ c7 X6 t% O
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
X: q" G* X* a x话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
4 G4 T% m7 w! e# YHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 4 r+ R7 J( a% e! V& R. G
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 3 c' {5 f% L$ Z" w
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) 5 t7 ?, m. E; ~" B" ?
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?8 Q2 ]0 A9 U( p1 I# x
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) ( Y/ C3 Y, y/ i% c
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。) * H4 e- U9 ^% Z& Q) X
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) - A$ D! O) a$ b/ S
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) , A" b4 A, j) H* q
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) 2 R6 m z; A8 \# E# ?' n# @0 x
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) 4 w7 Y1 V8 r/ H) j4 h
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) 4 e; U$ @( K7 x3 l3 L% X/ X
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9 g) X0 i, w. h总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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