 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 ) q' \* [4 `+ f9 I( q: E
Watson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。) : y% W7 v% {9 v% P/ f% s
Holmes: I just picked it up.3 w( [0 L, y/ T0 o& n- X9 F' C7 u
Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) y$ ]* v. I! m, g( ^4 C
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
+ d" `4 F+ b- gWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) 2 u$ l0 P% m- W% X, ?
Holmes: You did.) k/ X; k/ k) t4 {; b
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
% Q! p9 Q& G8 u5 f% P S- G9 bHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 5 q) A8 Q# I, y; f, u; x
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
/ c. b- W l7 y) BHolmes: Granted.$ P5 B+ M7 n2 M
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+ y2 V3 Y7 b' l' P: N& Y/ S晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。
$ g. d3 |, p* F, Q3 l NWatson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) $ M9 |8 Q! L% l8 Y* ^) X t6 D
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( F8 A" a# n" ~( K+ ^( e拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 @" h& A$ J) h6 j% y0 C
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
& D4 h3 z7 J3 n" ^, m3 xWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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3 h9 P. W: ^" l, a' P8 x0 H: x: sHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 1 U& w* ]( z5 U0 Y' I: `) i' b' q$ D
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
V; @. U. e1 F& R' ^. |3 O, k- z( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
0 I& @' T) O9 C* [1 M4 q1 BIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
9 `+ y; _" q* `/ K$ j. G+ xHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
]# ~' v) N2 S" v! l8 x5 |Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
' j! b! f" Y/ gHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) , T& q- @$ b) ~% h) e
Watson: Get that out of my face.
9 e5 `6 ]( J+ t# T; { @Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.! L/ z+ a: a3 q6 E9 E; t- z1 f8 z* z
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.9 x/ J% W( r( x2 p
路人警官 Clarky上场。 ( t6 ~2 h- V5 z
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
7 ]* b2 _7 m1 zHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
. J; A3 K, q9 p; g( @; P% I6 f% m/ e得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
3 j) H; D- u7 e7 {& zWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
, ~3 n- H& t+ D# U3 b$ FHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.; @0 A" q& z: B/ S" p
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 % q8 D0 ~5 M7 ?) ~% }9 g0 f
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
! R" L3 w4 i5 P6 b! U+ s' WHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.% Q% t, I6 R; B, W- P( R
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) ' `2 _$ s) l' l; x
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河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。
* ?/ V* H6 E' V" K2 lHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) 2 e8 Z( F2 s2 I
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
/ Q, f8 B( c! g1 ?' L: @Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) 2 H/ {) t. S1 Q+ w6 R" e7 Y& Z' l
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。
0 \1 q& |( r' J2 VHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
& s. i4 [ P: `, B1 W后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 & G( ?: v. O( D# ]
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) * W3 e0 o$ N2 f+ |9 r/ u
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& v6 K, z0 N' U1 t2 n" N; J警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。 - I) h- d- A) T# Z4 }+ v7 f
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.
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' _- S! @; K* l接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
" J7 U l; s4 }: K0 T/ O" f话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 2 p8 T4 e% e' v/ K
Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 9 A& s5 C0 `* C4 X& `5 Y8 b
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) ; e2 ]! ]/ Z$ o% O: ^" V j
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
4 F; t" }1 c" W b, IMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? ^* t. U! e, _9 D' Q
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。) & S+ a7 R% [# G o
Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
' c( W" f6 _! z8 y* YWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 1 ]( |! H3 {2 L2 F' y" \; r
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) ) l5 P" z9 p2 m$ d: |
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
; \: V9 x+ p5 _* U" zMary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) & o) k) n; E+ N
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) # {/ x" k6 y$ c5 Z. ^( u/ q+ u$ D: ^
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, M' v, |2 G _2 u: ]2 M总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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