《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 - o# e, C& k3 _, [5 Q; w*********** 6 c. I4 E4 _; m: k; u  c1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 9 l; B' S! k+ X2 @Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. 3 _: t: `; k0 ]" y& d: z4 JWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） + K+ f8 e7 K& _Holmes: You did. & ^+ X$ x$ J5 u+ @7 u（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. ) T- e/ P) J3 D' n. B2． . y) {' _) U4 C/ R& V宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. # a6 o' n5 O! l3. ! Z6 t& d7 D2 e  y" ~% V晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 5 c  {* V4 V) NWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 / k. S  t; @9 _) h& ]8 F5． Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 # L' @- j! k) s0 b  I) qWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． # S: t; J9 E( RHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 （Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? ) _) Y8 p$ a- [* {7 b* o- SHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） 3 m" M; q1 {- F; uIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. % I6 q( ^* R+ D; e. L9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 3 E9 V7 I5 X* u8 k, I得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 9 o3 m3 J' F3 E; U$ N% G6 S! ?10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 , N/ j4 d' U, Q" p6 e' n; |（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）   |3 B9 U  v; q  W: \  t11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 + G* D+ F: X* NHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… 0 d4 y9 g# G$ X& K8 fWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 ( V, u; V( F/ \7 g9 _8 ]Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） / A. K% t) h# d后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 4 a' g2 J, Q4 ]' C7 ?5 uHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 7 ~0 v1 O* B% @( i, K2 ?12． 1 @6 f$ U( b& u, |3 I警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 6 R6 Z# A( O9 V, N* _Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. , P2 ?( [$ g) Y/ `' S; d0 q; A13. - T" d/ ~' t% k7 A: i0 `) Y  T接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 9 i- L1 m; R$ K话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 ( h: H& G8 Z  I0 C$ pHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） ; n) O/ ~5 V* c0 BHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? ( ]0 e# B! {* ^9 x+ q% ZWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） - j. `5 ~: g1 u# EWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） ( z8 J) X5 Z1 a" e0 M; E# ~Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……