 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
0 U& b! f' X. KWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
5 J! n5 q: R' P/ q1 ^0 w! xHolmes: I just picked it up.
7 y2 D, G o0 O" `Watson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) + u0 T6 z7 K# S2 v, B5 L
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.; ~8 ^" Q( ^ z
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
. Z6 ]0 x! v0 cHolmes: You did.8 M) j: A: m( m \7 r: J
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。)
$ c7 [3 T6 Q, P- k8 l) D% C2 c6 o qHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。 . s: d% o5 R& D# Z }! h8 b5 T0 ]
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
1 u7 u" H/ \: j& a$ I) yHolmes: Granted.
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/ g/ [* b" I+ E晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 . I, S/ G- t% }4 z7 q3 b
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) % f) A5 Y- s3 P8 w: K: W( ]4 C
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; |6 b1 }* Y% l7 m拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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6 i; d/ n, D9 s, ~Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 1 U1 u- i8 Z- d
Watson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 8 ?0 m, G& A! m: U0 A
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# m4 K, F# D. K2 p7 [4 ^! YHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 a6 J2 M. `( t6 K1 i1 H, z
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7 s; d u$ k1 J8 M. B6 _# OBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
! R) I8 K; N3 s3 \& y( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
# U1 L; I6 U8 ]& L" oIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
( V4 f7 b+ |) a% a+ \Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) * w E) U8 }( x
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.
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( Z. I3 Q! E ]$ `# H0 Z. o9 WIrene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
- o+ q8 C5 w" ?5 O- ~4 d+ _# ~( v, V, wHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。) # x- R* a8 g0 n, o% A0 T0 C1 P3 Z
Watson: Get that out of my face.8 t, R1 Q8 o/ h& t3 R( o
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
. t7 \5 v! ?# }& A$ t* I2 S/ FWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
: B+ k! ]2 h& }/ D8 s) z路人警官 Clarky上场。
. ]9 s5 q$ _' ?' M j8 \Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
9 C+ F; D2 Y' j2 LHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。)
- t: M7 Q! j; S4 _3 ]得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
# i3 T- y9 z" l4 tWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?$ p+ ^0 Y6 J V j2 S( ~
Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 3 Q6 B- q$ P8 M
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
; ]. \8 \% a) e$ eHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
$ @6 l3 q% z0 m" e: a( y0 ~Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。)
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1 P4 b/ A. }" ^6 A河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 ) D( T' f+ Y' l, e
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) , h/ |6 \! p( [! a
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… }( p2 B" B; l" C. T! ?
Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。) " b6 q9 _- }+ f' r$ M* g) G! m& r
死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 5 t1 X# h8 L5 `9 M
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。) 1 U# I6 R* g) ^6 c6 \
后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。
/ }4 J) Z6 r* Y" kHolmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) 7 L1 R% B4 F, @& e4 |, k
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0 O* y; `9 ]- b. n; ]$ f6 G# D警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
! U* Z( N% o; t4 O6 K% s: xLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.0 @4 {0 V& V- l0 T* y0 ]
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# d! E5 d: {- Y6 r: G+ N% }# |接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 0 C; b9 z& H& C k' ?
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
) p8 Z V9 J' ^. v6 m) v) {1 d3 IHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) ( R3 x3 y5 k+ A, P
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 8 I$ S! I' W, ]
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) $ ^7 d7 S( ?. M- ]0 z
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?" `8 q: [ x+ t6 P
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
F' q. V( I/ `Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
7 L) X) P( M7 Y# |; }7 yWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
" D: B: a/ O0 Y" C7 W+ C! eHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) 6 I: e/ ?/ R$ C* l
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) 2 r( K: P7 |5 x
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) 0 M3 Y9 T4 p4 s: t# y+ ~2 ` a
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) 0 m, J' E+ K9 c+ r% Q
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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