 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。
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" p- `' M2 l4 P影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
' ~. R; I9 K% ZWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
% g( R6 ?9 w, K: S6 V: ]Holmes: I just picked it up.
, d$ b' S% x$ n/ X; ~8 GWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。) 2 t9 x# s/ \, `, j' F& B
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.
8 F& ]4 k+ [" w4 ?2 PWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。) ' h. ?5 v- d7 x+ k% v/ J5 M
Holmes: You did.* j/ @" p: K% Q* x1 e z
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) # C- b" I3 M0 B3 ]' M/ J; l
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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$ C( v1 I/ ?8 e1 F2 F" y宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
$ L% A2 h$ A/ w5 w$ UWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
$ z t7 S9 g4 G, O, [8 g/ {+ bHolmes: Granted.( S' M7 t& s7 V, z" b$ Q
3.
1 p8 x) E2 q* ^# O- x晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 6 Z0 p: F Z- R m# U
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。) + u b( r! U% T& f8 G3 ~8 @ D4 W
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拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 % J" q* |" F3 c* ?
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Watson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
1 v8 d* l) c+ T0 i5 Y# vWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。)
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' {+ T+ t1 [# o, u- ]7 i5 FHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 ' {3 ^0 {- l# z- d1 E0 |3 Z# o
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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3 N- _# P1 S' I, u g! DIrene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。
; N: M5 ?( h( B! y0 M' ^7 M( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
4 E: Z& [6 I0 H0 `6 ?Irene: Why are you always so suspicious?! |1 `. a+ y. \# |
Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。)
; s2 |8 {# C% D* K5 @: lIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.# v2 z8 ?! s. O) p# `7 ~& h
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
: h) q0 K# _2 w+ j' }" v* C3 d6 MHolmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
7 Z/ g4 Z0 L0 U% |! PWatson: Get that out of my face.
# h! c. \7 w7 P! {* y+ G: w8 cHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
8 G1 f9 j/ F: ?; ` c% h% nWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.4 m' A# A% G- Y! d
路人警官 Clarky上场。
1 P5 ?0 V/ z/ sClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.8 c: v9 [) s: b( A9 {/ H+ w" F
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) 7 f7 I( h: X) ^& F8 S
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 * w. J, {2 h9 f
Watson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
" s+ [, g( _% C6 f0 V) a( s" Q# yHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.7 [3 [9 _2 c; I- c# G0 O8 ^1 O
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墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 F" m! n e2 H4 _4 a- H) \
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
3 r+ A% l2 K/ CHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.: C( g( [) g9 [" `; b. c
Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) % W& ^& l, [ I
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3 \; U9 ^; f( `- [: B' O* C4 s河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 0 X5 G' P* M( k) \ h0 `2 _
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。)
( _! l+ _7 F0 } H( L! cBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
' l6 s0 e% v5 N \% BWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
$ c! E4 o- V: ]( e/ \$ t7 h死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 ; B5 I: J2 E# j
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
/ p4 V4 g2 k' b& {后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 ! c, b0 o5 e4 o6 a! ~4 c% e7 K
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。)
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
9 M9 V+ o3 E7 g8 G! r1 Y2 SLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.* j) ]2 i9 j* _& }- l5 `5 N
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( e' j( m; a0 D/ Y% o接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 2 Z4 \& {) b8 H6 I! y1 d7 U2 Y
话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
4 G7 a% r! Y% O* b6 y MHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) 7 Z! O9 w$ E9 }& a
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。) 9 {( q9 d1 y( e5 N' ~9 ^! t
Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。) ! S& Z L* M2 l" R! q
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?3 j" |- R- b( g; e7 I7 b& P, X* H
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
+ |8 @) h* m$ J1 t% i+ GHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
6 V# e. `6 F9 }" wWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。) 3 ^' U8 s# T5 ]0 v8 ~. f2 f3 D" _" y
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。)
T2 g6 d8 o( q7 v0 [1 C2 F" T/ `Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。)
' @! m* G; g _. ^Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) $ _9 D! z( k: n5 W% Z( V
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。)
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) F7 f3 [5 m, q; U5 {6 _) q总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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