《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** 0 t6 D6 t: E, t- f* i# S1． 2 T% X& x( x2 [. F9 ]5 t% C$ b2 Q- T2 ?影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 5 j% z) q6 `: }! I& Q# tWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） . _& ?. Y% K4 R( |Holmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） & a" Y/ F% P" J1 _' mHolmes: Knew I forgot something. 9 [1 K/ V5 J7 v9 _6 _Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） 4 P+ A8 W, p% PHolmes: You did. & G! s' f! [5 Z) B" Q/ k（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） 3 x# Q* J7 G5 N6 c! d6 B6 a; w5 LHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.   e( e/ G, x2 N2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. Holmes: Granted. 6 D" H" X% Z8 p6 U8 N' s3. 9 K" ^) r$ u2 ?) B3 I; y晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 4． 9 H' |4 j, p. R# G# R# v4 t拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． ! i8 F7 Y9 z% k( y: mWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 3 }* h( F* k" ^1 G& mWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． * ]' A2 A; e' A! E& AHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 + i$ s( c1 n/ @8 z( l. d" q' Z; `8． & T/ }  B: s1 [' RIrene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 & m$ Q9 M7 v& `. [（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） . {3 m- F2 w; g( G% \Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） 9 d# l$ e' Q) I# d; f- \: L! bIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 6 x& O: V, h; N8 g+ j( P/ z: r9． Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. 7 L( U5 h& r/ |. Y5 X7 X4 wHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. ' i3 O0 ]( T! `, `2 jWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 0 T4 g8 ~& h6 M" p; yClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. ' M, j; [0 A- @* _, p" D  ^2 aHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） # @# l3 a+ t& ^得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。   g: x1 _; b% BWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? ' @6 c9 `. k0 O! U( E. R/ ^Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 5 a! @4 f( v  K1 v& s* v* ?6 m墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 7 D" X, m2 {% f/ c& `6 v7 F2 C（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） 3 e! R. j! _& C6 }! Z2 `6 UHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. : _7 U7 v; E5 ^/ @9 ZWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） * R$ O! W% P3 Z, }( i2 }2 T: g3 V11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… 0 s0 J+ @) u: W7 A2 Z" P, P0 g7 {  C' OWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 1 p% g8 }: J0 X! ]# [后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 9 D' m2 z4 w4 }2 l' ZLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 13. . M+ G' J  U  L- W6 S# Q接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 - @: f& c: S$ lHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） 6 b* ^& @& F8 q3 P' ]* ZWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） % N, C+ R3 R4 o. pHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） / N8 [& u. P# G' V  CMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） , f  q; {- O, Z9 PHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） / ]/ j# r& I2 m& |Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……