《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 *********** : e, R) ?/ b$ s1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 % B: W% C0 @7 P$ L) ~Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）   c4 v/ k" C: \" M$ y% XHolmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） Holmes: Knew I forgot something. Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） Holmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）   T! B4 R$ A7 h% YHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. " l$ P+ S. g, V# E2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. " I* ?* R- ^6 S( [* IHolmes: Granted. ' Q1 l  @; _2 K% a1 [7 s3. ) X4 _; C* c: y2 E晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 9 k+ @2 h. [6 B4． 8 ^' O4 I( t" d! P3 o拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 2 h) L  P$ x' M, L2 h5． 6 I- L9 F6 r) a$ jWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 ' Z- p# U$ L" \2 y& uWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） 6． Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 ( q- `  w# L6 P1 V. l5 O7． Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 5 X3 x. ]6 ?* t8 L& Z8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 $ b! l4 c# g' t$ ^5 {$ H（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） % B/ e# s6 J4 w* D7 |Irene: Why are you always so suspicious? - X5 }7 t( x6 F3 m7 QHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） 1 ~& v2 I9 D2 M6 MIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． . c# P7 g9 \7 @# z5 @1 R1 n9 M, }- hIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. ; B" Z7 ^0 {1 x" vHolmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. 9 Z5 n8 s9 v; K' Q7 w' s) LWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 1 D' O- `) ?. G: v/ M6 OClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. 7 A" q+ P3 m+ g# T7 p4 fHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 5 P. Y3 q4 }2 a: {# k) t" Z, d* SWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 7 [' u3 q( m" \. a* C6 C9 b墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 2 r( q0 I$ O% h; Q- t（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． 3 y/ s2 ~$ J4 d0 v; L河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 + \) N! |) s: f) c2 Z  VHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） ( N( ?' }5 |4 B4 F, _后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） 2 {' V6 X; ^" J% u* r9 s* v* Z12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. 4 j0 L7 Y+ ^2 h13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 Holmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） 6 ~5 i, x" K7 F0 P2 ~9 t5 Q8 yHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） 0 ~3 F0 r# m; c2 R. oMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? 7 S9 u$ p9 D+ X. S* i, |Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）   x, ~. s0 Y3 `; {0 |Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） ( Z" m9 v, h# Q5 O! `. D/ {) }6 Z# mWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） 4 x; `0 ~1 w! P# xHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） 1 `* Z% l# R" zMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） * ?2 a% ?& Z4 A2 P/ v4 s/ u（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） 5 y7 e$ t8 W. e( c+ F/ |*********** 总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……