《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 3 m; i3 g6 W6 X/ |+ S* x' D, v: Y*********** ' G: W( B0 H* u( F7 D1． 6 }" i' z8 U+ P& O& F- P8 y- s影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） 6 Y. T% U0 ?9 c" YHolmes: I just picked it up. 6 i/ C3 v, h) zWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） 8 B, k/ k4 ]: Z5 S$ p) g  k) ^( w1 |Holmes: Knew I forgot something. . S" P1 H- Z' \! `9 h3 `' c" QWatson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） ( k% l" ~# C$ i6 g; L0 p& hHolmes: You did. 8 T1 F: B7 m: U6 v6 `（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） ' x$ E* E+ x4 k- T4 b8 aHolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. 2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 , {4 z. Y) o6 a) gWatson: Permission to enter the armory. 8 ^1 h- T- ?, p: a" ^9 {Holmes: Granted. 3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 7 b( q' T& o& E8 \; VWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） 3 x3 Q" C7 E# D" x% [( \% }4． # k9 {* e. n: A8 R拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 " @) q5 e3 @7 ?8 T1 a) X- I0 D& y$ F* H5． , ~1 O* G4 v  H% H' j; ]Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 0 J9 R4 I" p' ^4 qWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） . S. `* o/ Z1 G3 K. y6． 1 m0 J6 A6 o: p; v4 x% N% LHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 ' ~3 x9 C( }6 p) P7． ) R+ d+ h8 m- B2 J) r. _Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 % b4 j; j2 `$ e* Z5 P8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 / [% W; m$ R! H; q（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） ( Q% n. L5 J" U+ w: C: \( _' BIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? ; m4 T- W- s( o% H$ o1 UHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） 2 {% P5 l; V) j5 wIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 9． , R$ i; D/ W4 s7 j5 p- Y2 [Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） Watson: Get that out of my face. Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. 5 F! D) i/ k/ C+ t1 ?! jWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. 路人警官Clarky上场。 Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. ! g4 M+ K2 T1 ^  qHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 3 S2 H2 U) {$ ~" yWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? / M1 U. G# _! a% P4 Y* w$ [# K0 ]* G4 BHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. # m& c* d9 J5 {10. : f2 x7 `! G) q4 d* k墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。   h! S3 s  x1 O% K0 a（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. & X/ E3 b/ n5 W/ _, G$ qWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 - k6 _% @0 [, S% y) Y! O" _Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） 3 x) g7 M( X' B3 f6 fBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） 0 L* w& k& A+ U6 [后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 " c, Q: {. B# _1 M0 L+ uHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） # T7 v$ w9 W9 V- ]5 x3 Z: B12． 9 b! D! M( `9 a; h" @警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. $ D; `2 h8 I- G  t# b  R; E0 F$ d13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 2 m6 N, b* d( e7 q9 VHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） ; p; U/ k  ^$ i' o. z' hWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） 2 M7 a6 L* e+ \2 y3 iMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? 7 b3 Y9 B) f, k" u9 M' yWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）   ~9 K+ d0 c5 f  A& p% {  eHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） : _$ @/ q' }4 m: B( o- s7 v2 vWatson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） % Y* F; J; b) E! fMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） 7 U. L  R9 Q  c' A% P7 k0 W4 m- t（Watson把Holmes放了下来。） ; i- e8 G6 |5 d9 Y*********** ' ^. `  W( [. T6 ^& g总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……