《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。
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影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。) }, I* Q. K4 Z5 A8 b* Y; q
Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
, ?3 e8 G: B6 o) {; THolmes: I just picked it up.9 X( i4 `1 A2 H8 W
Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）6 t" u* T; J& d+ M% j6 v- @6 B
Holmes: Knew I forgot something.. q% P6 h; I1 H. y4 f# o
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
; C/ h: N7 W0 p% rHolmes: You did.' w6 R. M6 A& t) W9 v) c, J
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）
+ t1 h1 @+ J- ~8 THolmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.: T- {. @  d$ c3 A
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宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。( F1 T8 P( e4 j3 b& M! c
Watson: Permission to enter the armory.
& w+ M4 G. x/ \2 eHolmes: Granted.
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晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。. X! {( |0 Y9 w1 c7 Z9 R
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
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* m/ m/ M2 s5 h拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。
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Watson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
% o7 m" l0 b& J# d: SWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）4 X: o: v* Z, D3 {* x! t4 L# {
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Holmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。( z0 b& H6 l5 s/ M  T6 H
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Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。. k* w1 g1 ]& k$ U3 ]
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& q. f/ H* p1 p! w: x8 d& t& \Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。9 i# V7 a: c! ~9 O# B
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
. \3 S: \+ J6 P& xIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
0 e. m$ b/ L; H# m+ F* h7 o, YHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）
/ Y1 d& Q: n; h1 v4 M1 qIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope.' g1 w8 p: n& @9 P
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) G' z# G; @, _1 ^! n) kIrene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。/ _' e1 J. D# b9 m3 p8 f# N
Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
, k, _4 d" i; k9 r0 R) IWatson: Get that out of my face.  a5 T7 O8 q) E0 m; F
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.# e( v. s9 ]0 J  i! j
Watson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.
9 V$ M# v# s7 w) e4 u% p, K, F路人警官Clarky上场。; ?, P8 q6 s4 W" X
Clarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.! J8 A, O- m& R6 S7 T
Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）% z' i% [; n2 k3 G9 G2 M; ^
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
3 J( h$ d( x: v/ Q6 bWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
4 E3 _5 `- }1 T8 }  _# \Holmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not." _6 P! b4 M' o% h  P
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墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。
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Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
: z; M* p, ?- N" [Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）
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河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。
" v, `3 Y; S- _" Q" q4 d/ G4 MHolmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）
0 |) }* d. I% w% s0 U5 \, OBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
  Y- N* U4 d& bWatson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
0 c; |4 Q; K6 w( @( a死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。
4 v7 o5 X8 x; w! B- E. @! F/ }Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
, f- o! ?0 P9 l$ k' ^后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。3 g5 o* L5 \3 N: G5 o" `
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）. d, s$ m1 U+ M; K" ?
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8 S: ^! F8 u2 z+ ^; l4 Z+ C警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。% t/ s0 x' i$ B# d" h2 n
Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.. b7 K" _0 e, v
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接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
) d. L6 v6 W2 l4 `# b话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
$ B, H& B# n5 S1 `5 w/ pHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）
, i6 H* Z3 o! d0 S. RWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
' \" N6 S: X7 ~* }2 ^. x5 ZHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）3 \* {* p( Z2 r" r
Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?
4 _9 h8 P3 ]6 Y) j9 N4 z' cWatson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
8 U3 g7 P4 F& ZHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）1 C4 H3 V! Q- ?& U4 P5 R6 T+ o
Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）% Z3 O( I3 T4 q( W; n6 q6 z
Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）4 b; S, J7 v5 M- x3 ?& {6 i
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）; L3 m7 E  ^* J/ |) T0 J" |
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）
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总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……