《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。2 m6 J. Z- ^. q1 g
***********- T6 H$ v- k# d9 X# E
1．
6 h7 Y; m/ E- o+ w. m9 c影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
6 |  U/ U+ D1 ~9 ]6 b# DWatson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。）
+ T8 i% ^1 q" ]4 ^, h5 p, JHolmes: I just picked it up.
* J' Z% a, z6 CWatson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。）
- U# M3 Y- z5 L! \9 @0 P7 D/ bHolmes: Knew I forgot something.: ?) G1 l5 x8 }$ q
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。）
! ^9 T) g" K1 b+ F6 [- Y" dHolmes: You did.+ K; P" ^& E) A) Q- I
（注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。）% }4 X) M! `9 F$ C; e* a" G6 [1 l
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
* [. O; }/ X; d+ w2．+ h6 r* N2 n& g( b4 z
宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。
) _% u# @6 }0 e0 gWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
$ ~3 n6 c# m, A! z# G2 |+ MHolmes: Granted.- P% _) \$ G5 [( q6 j4 @
3.
' `0 b9 p; L; s4 E7 [! F$ j晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。" z/ C* f1 M# `; A( O* j
Watson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。）
6 w2 _  R7 |) }3 {  w6 a4．
% |3 p3 V7 k6 S" o" H; d% C8 g拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。6 X' S) \# T4 P5 ~  S2 U. P1 B, {
5．
3 [  r2 m8 k4 q0 T9 W' tWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
; g" X& g9 \; v7 g5 a. TWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。）3 y) f) q# X5 I: a  w3 {$ l- m
6．
- b: G+ H; i( f- d: Y5 K& G) t8 VHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。% s# v* b  V. G) d2 U- @- T5 d
7．
4 j/ u, v$ ?! |- c3 s$ ?' B( UBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
0 f& |% u8 @; @5 i3 S* A/ i8．6 {* d" Z# }/ e( O  z
Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。  t0 E* {3 g* H! ?+ r
（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措）
- ~; P" C6 F' ~, GIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
% {1 n3 g1 D, Q& L( rHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。）% s5 I  e& b: N
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope./ e7 I- a. Y4 M2 d  j' S" {% @/ [
9．8 v! C" w/ c7 B
Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。
+ Y) s0 @: ?% T2 k, c( ?+ H, N9 |" ?Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。）
+ C# j2 J$ [# p0 I) PWatson: Get that out of my face.- ]" b  B" I, Q0 b( H/ N
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
( \7 K+ X" G6 S; a3 FWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.- D! E2 K# G7 i/ c; h. h/ d
路人警官Clarky上场。
! R3 J  v; L. r% g$ c: FClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
; ?" P4 s& [% nHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。）( y+ J# J3 i5 h9 {* s
得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
. k, n2 ]1 o$ j- ZWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
; o9 B7 R8 W; xHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
& P# {3 A) ~1 i3 }& |- B% z! B10.
( f1 g. x2 z+ p, ?墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。" q# S+ L! O) Q3 b% i. R+ W/ E
（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。）
) y% D0 K% _4 IHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
0 l6 h/ y  \- y* g8 g5 hWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。）! N1 X/ Z" H1 F
11．
( n  A$ z- V# ?3 L. f  X+ d河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。) E2 R& }! A  P4 B1 Q1 u' I' p+ O
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。）. f) z* {: N& s+ l9 p5 h# ]3 [
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
% q" n2 p/ @# D# w; `Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。）
/ M) |8 @' a0 ^7 `4 v4 u6 |8 N: H死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。% J) L1 y# R4 I4 h; f
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。）
$ Z! u; Y0 I4 {$ W  b0 v后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。  o# U5 ^3 {) j6 ?. Z! ]: m: x
Holmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。）& d7 \1 c2 \  P1 A6 B
12．. ^& I8 e5 H+ J' t# c, d( N6 \
警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。
1 I4 R2 k8 q0 j( zLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.6 |+ ~( m( H$ H* I" w2 Y$ `& M
13.% w, X7 L  F+ [; v6 E0 q
接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
: q( K2 B" P) o# |5 \, b话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
4 u0 O3 T; L9 I' AHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。）+ g. C+ ^/ j; @% z  B; B! O
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。）
2 p0 w2 `) F/ WHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。）
9 u' Q; {9 e5 T  RMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?3 H; ^1 \* H7 G) a
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。）
/ g5 A  Z; E3 u8 F; rHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。）
( c1 b0 f+ H7 F8 D0 aWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。）
  e! }4 i$ {5 l: v9 rHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。）; r' s5 W9 r3 f5 X, F. q7 F2 n
Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。）2 _0 t) ~5 v( n6 U
Mary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。）2 G1 W  a3 _  u; W+ W' p
（Watson把Holmes放了下来。）$ Y  C3 ^& G( V7 c
***********3 ^9 g$ u8 O6 T8 ?# D* p
总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……