 | |  |  | 没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。(比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。)在这个故事里,没头脑是 Holmes,不高兴是 Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是 gay。 2 m6 J. Z- ^. q1 g
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6 h7 Y; m/ E- o+ w. m9 c影片开头, Holmes启动 Combo发大招,从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的 Shrelock和 Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。
6 | U/ U+ D1 ~9 ]6 b# DWatson: I like the hat. (吐糟开始。)
+ T8 i% ^1 q" ]4 ^, h5 p, JHolmes: I just picked it up.
* J' Z% a, z6 CWatson: You remember your revolver? (显然没有。)
- U# M3 Y- z5 L! \9 @0 P7 D/ bHolmes: Knew I forgot something.: ?) G1 l5 x8 }$ q
Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. (吐糟继续。)
! ^9 T) g" K1 b+ F6 [- Y" dHolmes: You did.+ K; P" ^& E) A) Q- I
(注意到 Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子,吐糟。) % }4 X) M! `9 F$ C; e* a" G6 [1 l
Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all.
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宅了 N久的 Holmes在实验手枪消音器(该不会因为 Watson的新欢吧),枪声吓坏了 Watson的新房东和女管家。 Watson敲 Holmes的房门。
) _% u# @6 }0 e0 gWatson: Permission to enter the armory.
$ ~3 n6 c# m, A! z# G2 |+ MHolmes: Granted.- P% _) \$ G5 [( q6 j4 @
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' `0 b9 p; L; s4 E7 [! F$ j晚餐桌上,吃醋的 Holmes气走 Watson的未婚妻(女性)后。 " z/ C* f1 M# `; A( O* j
Watson: Well done, old boy. (潜台词: very mature。)
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% |3 p3 V7 k6 S" o" H; d% C8 g拳击场那段( Holmes启动 Combo Strike之前)的插曲是 ”Rocky Road to Dublin”,是一首 19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 6 X' S) \# T4 P5 ~ S2 U. P1 B, {
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3 [ r2 m8 k4 q0 T9 W' tWatson带 Holmes去见 Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作,发生在 Watson得知 Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。
; g" X& g9 \; v7 g5 a. TWatson: And what happens if I do this? (掀开瓶子,用手杖敲了敲,把虫子全放跑了。) 3 y) f) q# X5 I: a w3 {$ l- m
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- b: G+ H; i( f- d: Y5 K& G) t8 VHolmes去见 Blackwood时, Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的(好吧,信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的)《约翰默示录》的一章,《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是 Lord忽悠。 % s# v* b V. G) d2 U- @- T5 d
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4 j/ u, v$ ?! |- c3 s$ ?' B( UBlackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。
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Irene(就是 Holmes仰慕的那个女贼)带着 Moriarty(莫利亚蒂教授,福尔摩斯系列的最终 boss)的委托来见 Holmes。 t0 E* {3 g* H! ?+ r
( Irene掏信, Holmes惊慌失措)
- ~; P" C6 F' ~, GIrene: Why are you always so suspicious?
% {1 n3 g1 D, Q& L( rHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? (这次轮到 Holmes不高兴了。) % s5 I e& b: N
Irene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope./ e7 I- a. Y4 M2 d j' S" {% @/ [
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Irene离开, Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后 Watson上场,玩儿命吐糟仰慕 Irene的 Holmes,建议 Holmes远离麻烦( leave the case alone)。
+ Y) s0 @: ?% T2 k, c( ?+ H, N9 |" ?Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. (醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着 Watson。)
+ C# j2 J$ [# p0 I) PWatson: Get that out of my face.- ]" b B" I, Q0 b( H/ N
Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand.
( \7 K+ X" G6 S; a3 FWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face.- D! E2 K# G7 i/ c; h. h/ d
路人警官 Clarky上场。
! R3 J v; L. r% g$ c: FClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
; ?" P4 s& [% nHolmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. (面对伦敦警察,一种智力的优越感油然而生。) ( y+ J# J3 i5 h9 {* s
得知 Blackwood死而复活后, Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。
. k, n2 ]1 o$ j- ZWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes?
; o9 B7 R8 W; xHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not.
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( f1 g. x2 z+ p, ?墓地勘查后, Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场,诋毁 Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。 Waston去见未婚妻及父母, Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 " q# S+ L! O) Q3 b% i. R+ W/ E
( Watson一脚踹开 Holmes要撬的门。)
) y% D0 K% _4 IHolmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
0 l6 h/ y \- y* g8 g5 hWatson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. (我们管这叫傲娇。) ! N1 X/ Z" H1 F
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( n A$ z- V# ?3 L. f X+ d河边屠宰场, Blackwood装 13地出场后。 ) E2 R& }! A P4 B1 Q1 u' I' p+ O
Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. (吐糟。) . f) z* {: N& s+ l9 p5 h# ]3 [
Blackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it…
% q" n2 p/ @# D# w; `Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. (再吐。)
/ M) |8 @' a0 ^7 `4 v4 u6 |8 N: H死亡机器开动,火焰包围了 Sherck和 Irene。 % J) L1 y# R4 I4 h; f
Holmes: It’s warm in here, Watson (其实快被烤焦了。)
$ Z! u; Y0 I4 {$ W b0 v后来解 Watson的皮带(挂在链子上增大阻力)。 o# U5 ^3 {) j6 ?. Z! ]: m: x
Holmes: Don’t get excited. (汗。) & d7 \1 c2 \ P1 A6 B
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警官逮捕被通缉的 Holmes,看到地上推理用的画符(顺便说一句,那作案顺序实在太古典了)。
1 I4 R2 k8 q0 j( zLestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing.6 |+ ~( m( H$ H* I" w2 Y$ `& M
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接下来的吐糟点不多了,因为故事要收尾了。直到 Blackwood死亡之后,才有了新笑点。对了,决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说 Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。
: q( K2 B" P) o# |5 \, b话说 Watson和未婚妻 Mary向 Holmes道别,发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。
4 u0 O3 T; L9 I' AHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. (吐糟 Watson) But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. (暗示 Watson放他下来。) Good afternoon, dear. (向 Mary问好。) + g. C+ ^/ j; @% z B; B! O
Watson: Get on with it, Holmes. (淡定。)
2 p0 w2 `) F/ WHolmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. (再次暗示 Watson放他下来。)
9 u' Q; {9 e5 T RMary: John, shouldn’t we help him down?3 H; ^1 \* H7 G) a
Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. (淡定。)
/ g5 A Z; E3 u8 F; rHolmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? (开始求饶。)
( c1 b0 f+ H7 F8 D0 aWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? (这回的吐糟是比 xxx还淡定。)
e! }4 i$ {5 l: v9 rHolmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. (看来真的挺不住了。) ; r' s5 W9 r3 f5 X, F. q7 F2 n
Watson: Worse things have happened. (得理不饶人。) 2 _0 t) ~5 v( n6 U
Mary: John. (未婚妻看不下去了。) 2 G1 W a3 _ u; W+ W' p
( Watson把 Holmes放了下来。) $ Y C3 ^& G( V7 c
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总之,这个故事讲的是 Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手 Watson,一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的 Moriarty,暗示大家还会有第二部,第三部……
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