《夏洛克 福尔摩斯》吐糟与彩蛋选

	没头脑与不高兴是艺术作品中必不可少的要素。（比较狭义的说法是天然呆和傲娇。）在这个故事里，没头脑是Holmes，不高兴是Watson。看过电影的一半以上的群众认为他们不是gay。 2 E# i9 G8 ?- H% @- \*********** ; b! e! q, ^7 w/ U- \& }1． 影片开头，Holmes启动Combo发大招，从杂兵哪里缴获掉落物品帽子一顶。随后潜伏在二楼的Shrelock和Watson一同制服了另一杂兵。 ; B: M6 M2 {) D& l% E5 T3 v4 b7 ]Watson: I like the hat. （吐糟开始。） $ F* l: f- j6 ^3 dHolmes: I just picked it up. Watson: You remember your revolver? （显然没有。） 5 F6 E8 y7 @7 E) G* kHolmes: Knew I forgot something. 1 T, k& v7 d4 A! @Watson: I thought I’d left the stove on. （吐糟继续。） 1 h! a) P- x/ A2 g( f% _Holmes: You did. （注意到Watson还在掐杂兵的脖子，吐糟。） Holmes: I think that’s quite enough. You’re a doctor, after all. ! q5 d) J0 a* R; ^( b( h, e9 [2． 宅了N久的Holmes在实验手枪消音器（该不会因为Watson的新欢吧），枪声吓坏了Watson的新房东和女管家。Watson敲Holmes的房门。 Watson: Permission to enter the armory. 2 r' i6 L2 t5 k2 f6 @Holmes: Granted. 3. 晚餐桌上，吃醋的Holmes气走Watson的未婚妻（女性）后。 0 p+ G" r/ k+ w" n4 j0 U7 GWatson: Well done, old boy. （潜台词：very mature。） - Q+ Q# q7 v; c' J" K" c4． 拳击场那段（Holmes启动Combo Strike之前）的插曲是”Rocky Road to Dublin”，是一首19世纪时的爱尔兰民谣。 5． 0 N: r' g: w, j5 bWatson带Holmes去见Blackwood之前。这段吐糟其实是一个动作，发生在Watson得知Holmes蛋疼地捉了六小时虫子之后。 ) ^' t5 c( _/ b0 ^9 w5 UWatson: And what happens if I do this? （掀开瓶子，用手杖敲了敲，把虫子全放跑了。） * i' L/ N/ H# L/ n& F9 J1 s& ^6． ! H; D. ~7 Q/ c+ qHolmes去见Blackwood时，Blackwood嘟囔的是地球人都知道的（好吧，信上帝的人和看过漫画《怪物》的人都知道的）《约翰默示录》的一章，《从海里来的兽》。从这时起我就知道这位仁兄是Lord忽悠。 9 g+ |7 \: H# Y; m7． . t) c  U5 ]( d  t. s" K' `2 S8 H' @, ?Blackwood死前的遗言是地球人都知道的一句电影台词。 * C+ n; L1 ]7 P3 d8． Irene（就是Holmes仰慕的那个女贼）带着Moriarty（莫利亚蒂教授，福尔摩斯系列的最终boss）的委托来见Holmes。 8 N+ S/ O  g" Z1 j4 E（Irene掏信，Holmes惊慌失措） " C! [% m0 a% c# pIrene: Why are you always so suspicious? 6 w0 A; j2 @/ Z! ^$ A% S: @; K3 wHolmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically? （这次轮到Holmes不高兴了。） , K5 R$ C. o  D- X& y& m% B5 }5 OIrene: Careful not to cut yourself on this lethal envelope. 2 l, x9 F' G$ A. ~+ m; @9． ; s4 R7 B. h+ c% ]! _. a5 @Irene离开，Holmes傲娇地弹一种琴。之后Watson上场，玩儿命吐糟仰慕Irene的Holmes，建议Holmes远离麻烦（leave the case alone）。 Holmes: Well, I may not have a choice, Hmm? After all, I may be paying the rent alone soon, thanks to you. （醋意盎然地拿琴弓指着Watson。） ; ]5 T% Q7 m3 G& |Watson: Get that out of my face. * H& {8 B  t! C4 O# [Holmes: It’s not in your face. It’s in my hand. + }9 \# x# X# g# cWatson: Get what is in your hand out of my face. + J8 z5 M/ a3 W# `0 Q路人警官Clarky上场。 ; a1 l8 C* `8 u* v" vClarky: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once. Holmes: What’s he done now? Lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. （面对伦敦警察，一种智力的优越感油然而生。） 得知Blackwood死而复活后，Holmes拼命拉老相好下水。 8 G* ~( R. ^! B6 `2 u9 i7 H! oWatson: You’re not taking this seriously, are you Holmes? - h7 D9 m5 N- j  T( jHolmes: Yes. As you should. It’s a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man is dead or not. 10. 墓地勘查后，Holmes雇佣的吉普赛女人上场，诋毁Watson的未婚妻。两人不欢而散。Waston去见未婚妻及父母，Holmes独自调查死者的住处。 6 H7 W5 K: _+ C* \7 F（Watson一脚踹开Holmes要撬的门。） Holmes: It does make a considerable difference to me having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely. Watson: Well, you can rely on me for exactly 10 minutes. （我们管这叫傲娇。） 11． 河边屠宰场，Blackwood装13地出场后。 Holmes: What a busy afterlife you are having. （吐糟。） 2 t( l1 U& x, ^% }/ S+ PBlackwood: I want you to be my witness. Tomorrow, at midday, the world as you know it… Watson: Show me your face and it will be the end of your world right now. （再吐。） 8 F# ?5 Q* e( d3 N" s% @4 A死亡机器开动，火焰包围了Sherck和Irene。 ! W4 r: n2 ]$ E9 g( `/ l% T* nHolmes: It’s warm in here, Watson （其实快被烤焦了。） & R7 ~" y# y$ W. B后来解Watson的皮带（挂在链子上增大阻力）。 ' ?! X& R1 f- xHolmes: Don’t get excited. （汗。） ; ]- \. B( Y$ k" U& J5 R- J12． 警官逮捕被通缉的Holmes，看到地上推理用的画符（顺便说一句，那作案顺序实在太古典了）。 Lestrade: Hello hello hello. Did the d turn up? Well…Never mind. You got the next best thing. ; C: n( [+ o; r' A; G8 R0 z( I13. 接下来的吐糟点不多了，因为故事要收尾了。直到Blackwood死亡之后，才有了新笑点。对了，决斗的那个未完工的大桥就是后来的伦敦塔大桥。据说Blackwood这个人物也是有原形的。管他呢。 3 J2 s- c+ _/ d; K. F- F话说Watson和未婚妻Mary向Holmes道别，发现了伪装上吊的大侦探。 ! i: P8 w! P: r' e/ G: H( dHolmes: I was trying to deduce the manner in which Blackwood survived his execution. Clearing our good names as well. （吐糟Watson）But it had a surprising supporous effect on me, and I was carried off in the arms of Morpheus. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. （暗示Watson放他下来。）Good afternoon, dear. （向Mary问好。） 9 J7 L: J6 @5 h! iWatson: Get on with it, Holmes. （淡定。） Holmes: Cleverly concealed in the hangman’s knot was a hook. Oh dear, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down. （再次暗示Watson放他下来。） Mary: John, shouldn’t we help him down? Watson: No, no, no, I hate to cut him off midstream. Carry on. （淡定。） Holmes: Uh, look, the executioner attached it to a harness thus allowing the weight to be distributed around the waist to remain intact. Oh, my lord, I can’t feel my ch s. Might we continue this at ground level? （开始求饶。） 6 f0 m( Y$ `! z, S) z; W3 xWatson: How did you manage it, Holmes? （这回的吐糟是比xxx还淡定。） Holmes: I have managed it with braces, belts, and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is growing cold and I’ll be no use to you at all. （看来真的挺不住了。） Watson: Worse things have happened. （得理不饶人。） 7 T! [% z3 p* XMary: John. （未婚妻看不下去了。） （Watson把Holmes放了下来。） *********** 5 }% a( l' O1 v- {总之，这个故事讲的是Holmes为了挽回要与他人结婚的助手Watson，一哭二闹三上吊并顺便解决了一个案子的激情四溢的故事。故事结尾出现的Moriarty，暗示大家还会有第二部，第三部……